435 - Little Moments With Meghan Markle

435 - Little Moments With Meghan Markle

March 13, 2025 1h 10m
Tim discusses Gavin Newsom’s new podcast, Elon Musk selling Trump a Tesla on the White House lawn, a Pro-Palestinian protester gaining national attention, a self-deportation app, and Meghan Markle’s Netflix show. 


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Full Transcript

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Our final show that will be released on Thursday.
I know many of you, your routine has been disrupted. You are angry.
You are confused. We are back to Saturdays after this week.
We have some scheduling things. We put the show out for a couple of Thursdays.
Deal with it. People are dead out there.
You're lucky you're alive. Gavin Newsom has just stepped into the ring here as a podcaster.
He's decided that governor has not been as successful as it should be. He's now podcasting.
He's this, by the way, he's clearly copying me. I had Steve Bannon on.
He had Steve Bannon on. He's literally copying me.
The governor of California, Gavin Newsom. Now, by the way, we don't, this is not what politicians should be doing his starting podcast.
No one wanted this. No one who's sitting in an ash heap in Altadena wants him on a podcast.
They want him to run the state. You just, you have a job.
You have a job. It's the governor of California.
That's a hard job, right? He keeps saying it is. The state's very big.
It's the seventh largest economy in the world or whatever he's saying. How in God's name do you have the time to do a pod? Can you imagine launching a podcast in the ash heap of your state?

He's now doing a pod.

Is he going to have ads?

Is he going to read ads?

Is Gavin Newsom going to read ads while people try to find housing in his state?

Now, I will do his podcast because it does no good for me not to do it.

I have things to promote, but I disagree with him starting one, but I've reached out so that I can do it because I should be doing it and he should come on here to promote it if he's going to go that route, which I don't think he should, but he's already here. He's already here and he's already copying me with Steve Bannon.
And his theme song is insane. This is the weirdest thing ever.
You know, we went through the last election cycle. They're like, podcasters have too much power.
And maybe that's true. But the goal is then not to join the podcast world.
It's to be a better governor.

Gavin Newsom's like,

if I can't beat them, I will join them.

I will do a podcast.

You won't be able to talk shit about me now.

I'm doing a podcast.

It's the most insane thing I've ever seen in my life.

Let's play a little bit of this

and play this fucking theme song, which is terrible. I don't know who's advising him.
This is Gavin Newsom. And this is Steve Bannon.
Well, Steve, thanks so much for taking the time to be here.

And I want to take this opportunity to sort of, you know,

go back a little bit and talk about your history,

a little bit about your motivations and where you see this country.

We did a better interview with Steve Bannon.

The point is this, what is that song?

And then this is Gavin Newsom.

So what he's trying to do is it's a relaunch of himself.

This is what people do. It's, there's nothing wrong with it.
We understand it. It is required when you are in the public eye for many, many years, eventually people are going to get sick of you or you, your policies contribute to their lives becoming a, and they're angry.
So you got to do a relaunch and come out. So that's the whole point.
This is Gavin Newsom. Like, all that other shit you heard about me, that ain't me.
All the crime and the people with their knife to your neck after you walk out of the sushi restaurant, That ain't me. This is me now.
The guy who's talking to Charlie Kirk. I'm the guy who's talking to people and I'm sitting in my nice spare room in a nice house that's gray.
And this is me. I'm just a chill guy.
Everything else ain't me. This is Gavin Newsom.
And this is Steve Bannon. Somebody told him, they're like, and then you got to say, and this is your guest.
And he goes, and this is Steve Bannon. And then they have a talk or whatever.
But this is what Gavin Newsom is now doing. Instead of running California, he's decided to do this podcast.
And he might be better at this than the governor. I don't know.
I would never tell someone to not follow their dreams. I, but I don't think it's just like the Olympics.
The Olympics isn't a bad thing, but did anyone want the Olympics? Is anyone in LA going, you know what? We're missing the Olympics. We're missing the shot put.
We want the Olympics. No,

no, no. People want like, I don't know, to afford milk.
And they, you know, they, they,

they'd like to not get like, you know, I don't know, raped on their way out of Pilates that no one wants the shot put. Nobody wants the Olympics.
No one cares if it was an extra thing.

Great. But people talk about the Olympics, like that's, what's going to save the Olympics.
No one cares. If it was an extra thing, great.
But people talk about the Olympics like that's what's going to save the state. They're like, well, the Olympics is coming, so they're going to figure it all out.
They're going to get rid of those homeless people by the Olympics. This is what people say when you're in California.
They go, well, right before the Olympics, they're going to get rid of all those homeless people because of the Olympics are coming. So people are now putting their hope in the Olympics so that they're

going to get rid of all those homeless people because of the Olympics are coming. So people are now putting their hope in the Olympics so that they're going to clean up California because of the Olympics.
By the way, there are islands of Tesla batteries floating in the Pacific, poisoning. I mean, the things that are happening here, the marine life that's dying, these surfers are all going to, it's all going to be like 9-11.
Remember 9-11? They're like, oh, the earth's safe. And then 20 years later, Jon Stewart had to go and scream at Congress because they all lied and everybody died of mesothelioma or whatever.
It's going to be the same thing. It's going to be a bunch of fucking surfers in 10 years be like, they said the water was safe to surf, and they are all going to be fucking dying because they all lied to these poor fucks.

And that's all there is to do out here is to surf. That's still the only thing.
It's, you know,

you take that away from this state, from the coastal California region, these people are

going to be, so they're, and they're back in the water. They don't care.
They're back in the sludge

lithium ion Tesla battery water.

They don't care, because what else are they going to do?

Their governor just started a podcast.

This is Gavin Newsom.

And by the way, once he got 9,000 views on the Bannon app, not good.

Not good.

This is the M.

These are the MD foodie boys. This is Gavin Newsom.
Hello, Trev Perm. I'm the governor of California.
Have you ever had an avocado? What's, um, I gotta, I gotta speak about this here. Um, because I've been, I've been watching the musk thing like with detached curiosity and the reason i'm doing that is because i fully don't understand what's happening or why donald trump is like turning his presidency over to this guy who's like one of the least likable people i've ever met in my life i've only met the guy once and he was lovely to me for the moments that we were together.
We're not together a very long time. It was one New Year's party I met him.
But when I see Elon Musk, I don't see a likable, charismatic guy. I see probably a brilliant, but very autistic, strange, weird kind of man-child running around on ketamine with a chainsaw.
This isn't what anyone elected. I don't understand why Donald Trump, who is charismatic, who is a salesman, whatever you think of him, is turning his presidency over to this guy who's now hawking Teslas on the White House lawn.
Play a little bit of this scene here. And this is obviously Elon Musk, because of all the controversy surrounding his cuts, which I think are going to be a big problem for Republicans.
And I'm going to talk about why in a minute. But because of that, he's facing, there's protests, there's people that are like, I don't know, lighting Teslas on fire in Europe.

So Donald Trump comes out and goes, well, I'm going to support Elon by, I don't know, doing this kind of strange car commercial that I don't fully grasp here. And let's see what this is.
This is a different panel than I've had. Everything's computer.
Hello, President Trump. Are you looking to buy or lease today? I'm going to buy.
And I'm going to buy because, number one, it's a great product, as good as it gets. And number two, because this man has devoted his energy and his life to doing this.
And I think he's been treated very unfairly by a very small group of people. The Press Presser, Mr.
President, I mean, look, in terms of imagination, I think I have a great imagination. Who else but this guy would design this and everybody on the road is looking at it.
It's amazing, actually. As soon as i said that is the coolest design it's uh do you agree with that brian i mean it's amazing very cool yeah you got to give him credit it's we want the future to look like the future and it's kind of what kind of truck would the blade runner drive that was the design idea i mean this is the problem with these people what kind of Blade Runner drive? I mean, we're just handing the whole entire world over

to like fucking nerds and freaks.

We want the future to look like the future.

First of all, the Cybertruck's disgusting.

We can all kind of admit that.

It's a heinous looking car.

They explode.

They go into trees and they explode and stuff.

They're not good.

They don't look dignified or classy on the road.

I don't know who that appeals to. Now, I understand there's man children out there that want to fly rockets to Mars because they can't fly their penis into a vagina.
Now, that's not really, you know, I don't know how to describe, you know, whatever. Like, I understand thinking this guy does cool shit, and I understand to some degree, like whatever, liking that he's, you know, some type of disruptor.
What is happening right now to any intellectually honest person, of which there are very few in this world, I'm the only, maybe the only one worth listening to or worth giving your money to, to be honest. I wouldn't lie to you.
But I'm telling you right now, this is the grossest and cringiest shit anyone has ever seen in a very long time. This isn't cool.
It doesn't look cool. This guy running around the government slashing things.
And then, you know, they're talking about Medicare and Social Security. If you look at the realignment in American politics, this has been said by a lot of people, including Steve Bannon.
A lot of the people that depend on Social Security and Medicare voted for Donald Trump. They voted for Republican.
In fact, people with four-year college educations and higher than average incomes, a lot of them aren't

really depending on those programs.

A lot of them voted for Kamala.

There are Trump voters that will be hurt badly.

And even if there weren't, it's morally not right to eliminate.

I'm not saying you can't get would have waste, fraud, and abuse.

I think most people would be on board with that.

But cutting Social Security or Medicare, Medicaid, you have a lot of Republicans on those programs. And you have the richest guy in the world doing it.
You're trying to make a case why these cuts are necessary. You have the richest guy on earth with 15 children running around with a chainsaw telling people why this is good are republicans totally not freaking out are they not is there not anybody there going this is shaping up to be a big problem this looks looks weird.
This isn't what anyone voted for.

Nobody really voted for Elon Musk

to be running around the White House with a chainsaw.

Is that crazy to say that this...

Now, I think Trump, and I've said it before,

sees these guys coming a mile away.

He's a casino guy from Queens. He has political instincts.
He's, you know, he's a brawler. He understands the value of building people up.
Sometimes he understands the value of, of, of, uh, hanging them out to dry too. He understands fall guys.
We've gone over that. I fully don't know what this is.
I think a lot of people don't know what it is. I think Trump likes him.
He's really rich. He's the wealthiest guy in the world.
He's an incredibly powerful guy. He owns an incredibly powerful social media platform.
He certainly is a visionary guy. But this vision isn't good this makes people incredibly uncomfortable and by the way increasingly i think that's republicans that are looking at this going what is this what is this is that the deep state the park rangers is that what anyone thought the deep state was going into firing a bunch of park rangers now listen i'm against national parks truly i don't care about them i don't i think that a lot of people go in there and they end up dead because i think i think most people i think a lot of people that are really over the top into nature are actually very sick and twisted and hate human beings and want to kill others.
That's all.

And I've said that. that are really over the top into nature are actually very sick and twisted and hate human beings and want to kill others.

That's all.

And I've said that before.

I'm not saying you can't be into nature,

but to be overly into it,

I think is actually a problem.

That's my own belief.

Now you have,

they're,

they're slashing all of this stuff.

You know,

no one thought the deep state or the swamp was like veterans who were like working as a national, working as park rangers. Nobody thought that was a deep state.
Mr. Musk is still committed to his own super PAC, which has now spent $6 million to support a conservative candidate in the Wisconsin Supreme Court election next month.
He spent close to $200 million on the presidential race last cycle, almost all through America PAC, which he founded last year. He's become the biggest donor in American political life, in right-wing politics.
He's the most powerful person in the world. And also, he's a guy that believes that we have to go to Mars

and merge with AI and no longer be humans.

And no one seems to question that.

Everybody seems to go, that's cool.

I mean, literally, Elon Musk has said, no, no, no.

In order to defeat AI, we have to merge with it.

We have to literally alter our humanity.

This is legitimately what he believes.

That's not a conspiracy. That's what he believes.
Nobody brings it up. Nobody really brings it up.
I don't think populism, as has been described, includes merging with machines and going to Mars. I don't think that's what anyone envisioned that populism was, by the way.
And all these tech people, as Bannon said and other people have said and I've said, these people were Democrats until 15 minutes ago. They don't give a shit about anything.
They don't really care about politics. They want to leave Earth.
The less money for Social Security, the more money he can build rockets to leave the planet. That's all they're trying to do.
So it's a huge, massive mistake for Donald Trump to turn over his presidency to Elon Musk. I don't know why this is happening.
I don't know why it's happening. And I disagree with close friends of mine who think Elon Musk is, you know, the savior of, this is Jesus.
If Jesus came back, he'd be Elon Musk. He'd come through South Africa and design cars that don't need gas and buy X that's what Jesus would be I have friends that think he's Jesus that Jesus is back well this is what Jesus looks like now Elon Musk the guy's a billionaire who wants to go to Mars and normal people are going, what the fuck is this? I can't get a knee operation.
This idea of like reigning in billionaires and Wall Street and plutocrat, and where's that Epstein's list, by the way? Where's that? You ain't seeing that. Where's that list? The Republicans now control all of the government now i know i'm not stupid are there factions that are against them and working against them absolutely but how long can you blame that truly how long can you blame all of this hidden power structures and everything at what point do you hold the people accountable that you elected and say, yeah, I guess they're not really serious about releasing that list, which I never thought they were, by the way.
All this stuff that you think you're going to find out, you think you're going to find out how it all worked, and you're not. That's why I've told all of you, always, this show is entertainment, whether I'm right or wrong or in the middle, all you're getting out of any of these things is entertainment, including your own government, by the way, there is not going to be, you're not going to be saved.
There's not going to be, can the government do some good things? Absolutely. Like, like,, veterans, providing a national defense, making sure the country has a border, making sure the economy is somewhat reasonably fair.
Yes. You're not, this isn't a movie where the movie ends with Elon putting you on his spaceship and going to Mars.
You're not going to Mars. I'm sorry about that.
These people are also the elites, which people talk about the elites, the elites. I talk about it myself because the elites are completely out of touch, but these elites are also out of touch.
It's also out of touch to think that the biggest issue is let's go to Mars. That's also out of touch.
That's not in touch. Go talk to a working family that can't put food on the table.
See how many times they mention Mars. I guarantee it's not at all.
Go speak to a mother whose house she's burned down to Altadena and ask her about Mars and how often she's thinking about Mars. She's not.
Ask her at what point, if she's thinking a lot about the Neuralink chip. She's not.
These aren't bread and butter issues that people give a shit about, by the way. They're just not.
They're not. People want a border.
They want law and order. They want to, you know, it's not, they're not trying to like, you know, chip themselves and their kids.
That's not a big issue, but that is the issue to these people.

To guys like Elon, it is the issue.

I just think it's a huge mistake.

It's a huge mistake.

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i also think this guy the gaza guy oh god i always fuck up these names khalil is it khalil mamood what is it oh stop it i was close enough Mahmoud Khalil?

Is it?

That's, well, isn't that what I said that's what I said Mahmoud Khalil this guy now listen I don't know this guy I don't know if I'd agree with the things he says I don't know what he says but says. But I know he was doing a protest at Columbia University.
Remember these protests, these encampments that all these kids had? I went to one of these at UCLA. I was curious.
I just walked in. And of course, people were taking photos of me.
They were thrilled to meet me. And I said to them, I said, you're not Hamas.
You don't have it. Because immediately you should have kidnapped me.
But instead they were taking photos and selfies with me. And I'm like, oh, if you're taking photos with a podcaster, you don't have, but maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe Hamas would have too. Maybe if I met Hamas, they also would have said, oh my God, I know him.
And maybe I don't know. All I'm saying is that I think this is a bad precedent to set.
And I don't think that the federal government should be detaining people based on speech. Now, listen, did they break laws of the encampment absolutely did they occupy an area

sure is that going to be part of the government's argument yes that this guy's a hamas supporter um listen it's a it's a very you're you're on shaky legal ground if somebody you know people support all kinds of things in

theory with their speech.

Okay?

And all of them aren't necessarily good. In fact, most things people say are insane.
That's number one. Most things people say are insane.
I have threatened to kill members of my family. I have threatened this government and others.
I have threatened to kill members of my family I have threatened this government and others I have threatened people's children I have threatened their pets I have threatened people's businesses I have threatened directors, producers, agents, managers, business managers I have threatened friends I have threatened colleagues I have threatened acquaintances I have threatened colleagues. I have threatened acquaintances.
I have told lies about things to people in order to make them fearful and afraid, in order to make them feel worse about their lives. I have said things that other people didn't say about them to them to punish them, to hurt them, to make them feel bad.
I have created realities that don't exist to hurt and destroy other people. This is what is done.
So I don't think that every word said has to be tried in a court of law. Most things people say are, it doesn't matter.
I've lied about having cancer. I've lied.
I've lied to people about my life. I've said I've had more money than I've had and less money than I've had.
I've said I was attracted to people I wasn't. I've said I wasn't attracted to people that I was.
I lied. I lie because it's the human condition to say insane shit.
That's what we do. You can't just hang someone for saying crazy shit.
I might support Hamas if I'm wronged by a Jew. And if I'm wronged by a muzzy, I will support the Jews.
It doesn't matter. I should be able to live in that space.
I've been a Hamas supporter when I see what Netflix is going to pay me. I go, what is wrong with them? Jesus Christ.
I'm asking for something. But then I also, but then when they do something nice for me, I become a supporter of the Jews, and I don't like Hamas anymore.
We all like Hamas occasionally. Anyone with a landlord is a little bit of a Hamas fan from the end of the month through the beginning of the month, but then you don't like Hamas after the 3rd of January.
But on the 2nd of January, all of us kind of support Hamas. Everyone does.
If you're in the business I'm in and you audition for something, if you don't hear for a week, you sort of support Hamas. But then when you get the role, you understand that Hamas is a barbaric terrorist organization.
Do you see what I mean? I've supported Al Qaeda and then I've been against them. It's my right.
It's my right. Some of those training videos look fun.
You know, sometimes it is fun to just train in the desert. I don't know what it's for.
Khalil was born and raised in Syria and his Palestinian grandparents were removed from their homeland, according to his lawsuit. He came to the U.S.
on a student visa in 2022 to pursue graduate studies at Columbia. Now, here's the other thing, and I'm totally with the Bannon on this point.
I think we need to educate Americans. I think we need to have Americans getting into higher education.
We need to stop giving up on American citizens. I think we need a moratorium on immigration for everybody, by the way.
Low-skilled, high-skilled, Elon's indentured servants he wants to bring over. I think that we deal with the people we have in this country now.
We try to make their lives better. I also understand why you have foreign students come to America and learn about America.
I get it. That's part of the soft power of the United States.

I understand this.

He served as a student negotiator,

a role that had him speaking frequently

with university officials in the press.

What the hell does a student negotiator do?

Oh, more recently,

he was among the pro-Palestinian activists

investigated by a new disciplinary body

at Columbia University focused on harassment and discrimination complaints. So here's the thing.
They wanted to deport him because of his, he has a green card, but he's a, I don't know. This is all immigration law and I'm not a lawyer.
I'm just talking about the general principle.

The general principle is this.

I understand if you're here and you commit a crime,

you know, depending on the severity of the crime

and depending on the circumstances,

you're not in a good place.

You don't have the leverage.

But I'm just telling you right now,

people say all kinds of stuff.

That's the reality.

I don't know. For example, a legal permanent resident can also be expelled for providing material support to a terrorist group, in which case the government doesn't need a criminal conviction to bring deportation charges.
It really just depends on what he did with Hamas. What is he doing with Hamas? Is he texting Hamas?

What is happening with Hamas and him?

I don't know.

But just saying, I like Hamas,

I've said that,

and I don't even support them.

It's just something to say.

I don't know.

You can't, every word can't be like,

we're engraving it in stone, like, oh my God, you mean this. Hold on.
The Department of Homeland Security said the arrest was conducted, quote, in support of President Trump's executive orders prohibiting anti-Semitism, alleging that Khalil, quote, led activities aligned to Hamas, a designated terrorist organization. Now, I don't know what the executive order

against anti-Semitism is.

Like, what will it stop me from doing?

Like, can I as an American citizen be anti-Semitic?

I'm a citizen.

What exactly is the law?

Is it only people that come to the country that are not allowed to be anti-Semitic? Or how does this work? I'm like confused about the law. That's a strange law to have.
What is that? Is that one of the executive orders? He wrote like a million executive orders. One of them's like, don't be anti-Semitic.
That's interesting. I'm just saying, I don't know if you can deport this guy just because, you know, he got into a little bit at the protests.
You know, because you start to get into the character. I would go to those protests.
You'd have those non-binary Asians. They would dress like Hamas.
And some of that was fun. It's fun to see people dress up.
Now, obviously, there's geopolitical ramifications to it. I'm not an idiot.
But here's what I mean. Look at this Cinderella or Snow White, rather.
Disney's in big trouble here. And again, because you have Rachel Zegler, who's in Hamas, andot who's in the IDF they're stars of the movie and they're on both sides of the Middle East and both sides of the Middle East are conflict and there's no fucking dwarves because Peter Dinklage from Game of Thrones opened his mouth and said this is fucked up having dwarves in the movie called Snow White and the

Seven Dwarfs. So now we got a lot of pro-Palestine, a lot of pro-Israel and no fucking dwarves in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
So now Disney doesn't know what the hell's going on because Rachel Zegler is coming out and screaming from the river to the sea, whatever she does. And you know, Gal Godot's doing her whole thing, you know,

lighting infants on fire,

and there's no dwarfs. So my whole thing is, does it seem like a fun film? Does it seem like a fun film? I want to see dwarfs.
I don't want the Middle East conflict. I want dwarfs.
World politics have also come into play. Zegler has promoted free Palestine on social media.
At the same time, Godot, who is Israeli, has become an outspoken supporter of Israel on social media as well as an impassionate speech. She delivered when she was honored at the Anti-Defamation League's annual summit in New York City.
Quote, never did I imagine that on the streets of the United States and different cities around the world, we would see people not condemning Hamas, but celebrating, justifying, and cheering on the massacre of Jews. So you have Rachel Zegler, who's like, she's just out there.
She said, I hope Trump supporters never know any peace. Rachel, please.
Now you have Gal Gadot, who's out there, you know,

with Netanyahu, hardcore right-wing Israel stuff. And not a dwarf to be seen.
So you, and is that them together? Show them, look how much they hate each other. Go up how much they hate each other.
So these two are in this movie about Snow White. And Zegler said it's a whole rape thing.
She's like, well, it's basically like a guy who stalks a chick. And why would we even make that movie? And then Peter Dinklage says we can't have any dwarves.
And then Gal Gadot goes, all the dwarfs should be played by Israeli hostages. Nothing here is good.
I think they shelve it. I think they shelve the thing and just scrap it.
I think they scrap it. And what's going on with this ceasefire? Is it working? They're all killing still, right? These ceasefires, I mean, this is not even, I don't even pay attention to these ceasefires.
This is the fakest thing ever.

These ceasefires

are the fake, this is when

the worst couple you know says

they're actually, that things

have been good. No, no, things

are good. Yeah, why? Because you're on a

business trip.

Everybody's gonna fight

over there forever. I don't mean Ukraine and Putin.
I mean the Israel stuff. It's going to be difficult over there to have any type of ceasefire that's going to be enforced.
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Drinktrade.com slash Tim. Let's look at this Meghan Markle show because this is actually better than I thought.
I didn't think I would enjoy this as much as I did, but here's why I like it. This woman, who I have now a fondness for, is criminally insane.
And what's amazing about this show and what makes it actually fun and interesting is the depths of her insanity reveal themselves throughout the program. Every person that she has on the show is someone that she hates.
She doesn't have friends. Meghan Markle doesn't have friends, and this is kind of why I respect her.
Friends are not part of her overall goal. She has connections.
She has a people whose necks she can step on to get to the next level. She does not have friends.
She does not care about other human beings. She only wants power.
And the only way that she feels that she can get it is by leveraging her relationships with certain people. That's not friendships.
And you see in the show that there are no friends. She wouldn't know what a friend was.
Everyone is fearful of her. Everyone is cagey around her.
She doesn't know what's going to happen. And what's interesting about her is the thing that launched her, which was this like crazy era of like identity politics run rampant.
She actually brilliantly destroys in her show. Because if you came up with the picture of an annoying, insufferable white woman, it would be Meghan Markle.
If you came up with an out of touch, suburban white woman, it would be Meghan Markle, even though she's not white. What I mean to say there is that Meghan Markle in her own show proves that it is not about race.
It is about the demon that lives inside of all of us and letting that demon out. But can we see that speech she gives that you just played there? Can we see that? If you haven't watched this show, it's impossible to describe not only how entertaining it is, but again for all the wrong reasons, this, she's a very, she's a very, very sick person.
I just want to raise a glass to you, guys. This feels like a new chapter that I'm so excited that I get to share.
All of that is just part of that creativity that I've missed so much. Yeah.
So that's the creativity she's missed so much. And the creativity is, you know, making, you know, pasta.
Because that's what the show is. She makes pasta for people.
That's the creativity, by the way, she's missing. Making turmeric tea and honey.
And she just kind of goes through the kitchen. It's a little moment.
It's just a little moment. It's so simple and so quick.
It's not about perfection. It's about the journey.
We strive for joy. It's it's about happiness come on in we want it to be cozy and remind you of home we want it to remind you of home i don't know where my autistic husband is he doesn't know where he is he's not allowed to see his family i destroyed a monarchy so we could have a little dish and you just just take the cherry tomatoes, put them in a pan with a little garlic.

And it's a family that's been around for centuries.

And I destroyed it.

And you want to wilt the vegetables, which is actually different than stewing them.

Stewing them, they lose all of their character.

But when you kind of wilt them, they're halfway between fresh and stewed.

And I killed his mother.

And I actually killed his father.

They're both dead now.

His father's not dead, but his mother is dead. I mean, his grandmother is dead, but she couldn't bear to see what was happening.
I also staged a chase in New York city, like the one his mother had. And I've actually worn sweatshirts that his mother war.
I'm a deeply sick person, and it's just about kind of whipping up a cake, and it doesn't have to be perfect. We're just using local honey, and we fold that honey into the frosting, and the kids love it.
Little Archie loves it, and Lilibet, and they're going to say to me, what'd you do to daddy's family? I said, I killed them. I killed them all.
And I brought you all back to Santa Barbara. She's a sick bitch.
Is there any interaction from this thing we can play to just give people a little idea of how genuinely unhinged she is? Again, they've already greenlit season two of this show. My special on Netflix will be out in April.
I'm trying to get Megan to do a promo with me. She will not, I imagine.
We are out to her people. I imagine it's going to be a no.
But we are offering her that opportunity to laugh at herself. Because again, I like her.
This is what people don't get about me. I am here to appreciate humanity in all its forms.
When you start judging people and becoming a moralist, the show gets very boring. I like her.
What she has done, okay? What the world she has manifested is so impressive and so off the wall and insane. You can only actually sit back and kind of be in awe of her.
In awe of her. She is full of the type of hate that I find aspirational.
Her hatred of other people as soon as they walk into her home. I strive for that.
I'm actually a big pussy. People come in, I talk a big game.
I'm actually kind of happy to see most of them. The hatred in her eyes for these people is something that I aspire to.
Because she doesn't want to have to prance around with Mindy Kaling. She wants to be much more famous than that.
She wants to be much more famous than that. But the guests that she has gotten, she is not, she is unhappy with them.
They walk in and she has hatred in her eyes. She goes, why do I have to do this? I'm better than this.
And that's the attitude that gets you far in this business. If you can hate your circumstances enough to create new ones, you're going to do good.
So I think that Megan will actually figure out a way. She'll get the things she wants.
Yes, we will hate her, but it doesn't matter. She doesn't care that we hate her.
You know why? She hates us. That's why she wins.
She hates us. She hates us.
She thinks we're pigs. We're disgusting.
We don't know how to use fucking silverware. She thinks we're all Sieg Heilung in our backyard.
We're just a bunch of fat Nazis who don't know how to make a proper cupcake. She hates us.
She thinks we're pigs and we should only see people like her behind glass. She's here to educate these fat, disgusting Nazi pig wives how to make a little pasta for the kid.
Make a salad for the kid, you pig Nazi bitch. That's what she wants.
She's here to help us and it is her hatred of us. She loathes and abominates us, and it is why she succeeds.

Most people would fall apart with the hate that Meghan Markle gets,

but it only fuels her because hate, when it hits hate, refracts.

Does it work?

Does it matter?

She isn't trying to win a popularity contest.

She has aimed her laser at some of the richest people on earth that feel good by making her dreams come true. She's not playing to Betty Bowling Alley or Fatty Boombatty or any of these people.
She knows that if she gets the upper echelon to fuck with her, eventually it'll trickle down to the little pig people who she's just trying to, you know, get to start their own garden. Just start your own garden, you little pig.
Just start your own garden. Oh, your son OD'd? Make your own Narcan.
We'll make it. I'll teach you how to make Narcan.
That way you don't lose your other son. I make my own Narcan.
It's so simple to make your own Narcan and just have it. It's so important right now because there's so many people ODing on fentanyl at a house party.
You could just go downstairs to the basement with this Narcan and in several minutes, your son's friend is actually standing up and ready to go to the hospital. It's so important.

It doesn't have to be perfect.

We're not here because everything's going to be exactly the way we want it.

Sometimes our son overdoses in the bathroom,

and we have to go in there with the Narcan that we've made.

We can make our own Narcan.

All right, let's watch a little bit of this.

Including her pal, Wendy Kaling.

I don't think

anyone in the world knows that Meghan Markle

has eaten Jack in the Box.

It's so funny, too, that you keep saying,

Meghan Markle, you know I'm Sussex now.

Yeah. And what she's

saying to Mindy Kaling is,

listen to me, you fat bitch.

See, this

is what she's saying to Mindy Kaling. She goes, listen

to me, you fat bitch. You know, she is such a monarch, Megamarkle.
And in the history of the world, the Megamarkles of the world would be, you know, oppressing the Mindy Kaling's. Because Megamarkle's like, listen, you bitch.
My empire ran your shit for years. Don't bring a, don't call me my fucking my dead name don't call me my dead name that's not my name in these streets my name is sussex you bitch is there any is there any other interaction we can see and you go no i share my name with my children yes and that feels so, I didn't know how meaningful it would be to me, but it just means so much to go, this is our family name, our little family name.
Would it mean a lot if it wasn't royal, though? Would it mean as much? Do you see her eyes? Do you see her eyes? She's doing an impression of a human being, but the most interesting thing about Meghan Markle is that she's not a human being. Never become a human, hon.
Honey bunny bear, don't ever become a human being. She'll be so unhappy as a person.
The best version of Meghan Markle is exactly the one you are seeing right now. She is completely, her lust for power, for status, for fame is so naked and so transparent.
The demon inside of her is coming out of her eyes and she's trying to be a human being only enough, just be enough of a human being for the show. But I mean own father's out there going this bitch is out of control but it doesn't bother her again you would think someone's father on on the thing going she's terrible you know but it doesn't bother and I respect her God I respect her although my father given the chance would probably be screaming yelling how much I suck too if I was fucking making pancakes at Santa Barbara.
And I might be. But what she does so well, okay? And what has to be noted and what actually has to be respected, she actually remains above any meaningful human moment, any authentic human moment, which most people would have by accident.
This whole, she has not one of them the whole time. Everything is forced and awkward and terrifying because it is just a way for her to get to that next level that she envisions this show is going to go on for four or five seasons.
And at that point, she's going to have a Martha Stewart living. She's going to be in Target and all these fat white women are going to walk in and buy all her shit.
And she's going to be a big billionaire. And going to turn around to the royal family and say fuck you and she might be right she might be right here's a not so well-kept secret the insurance industry does not want you to know insurance companies profit by holding on to your premiums and reserves longer so they may be motivated to delay or deny claims to keep funds invested morgan and morgan fights hard to bully these bullies who are using your money to make them richer, as they often deny and delay the payments that you are owed.
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Speaking of air travel, there are literal demons now on the planes. Literal demons.
Literal demons on the flights. So, passenger swallows rosary beads on chaotic flight to Miami.
The man also kicked the flight attendant. Him and his sister were traveling to Haiti to escape religious attacks of his spiritual nature.
A satanic disciple had stowed away on a flight to Florida as one passenger saw it and something had to be done. Less than a minute after an

American Airlines flight took off from Savannah, Georgia for Miami on Monday night, a passenger began yelling and shaking. Flight attendants initially thought he was having a seizure, but it turned out he was struggling because he believed the demonic spirit had invaded the cabin and at some point during the flight began swallowing rosary beads to ward that spirit off.
as attendants approached the man

Delange

Augustin, 31

he kicked one of them in the chest so hard that the attendant tumbled across the aisle into a window on the other side of the plane. That's when the cabin crew realized that Mr.
Augustin, who was traveling with his sister, was not having a medical emergency. His choices appeared purposeful, though difficult to describe.

A special agent with the FBI wrote in the affidavit filed, the pilots turned the plane

around when they heard the commotion and landed it safely in Savannah, but that was not the end

of the episode. Disembarkation from the jet spiraled into chaos when Mr.
Augustine stormed

to the front of the plane and threw several wild punches at a flight attendant before the door had

been opened. So this is a guy who's being possessed by a demon on the American Airlines flight.
So just to let you know, that's also what you're contending with. It's not only air traffic controllers or overworked staff or busy airports or mechanical failure.
It's demons on the plane now. It's a demon.
He's a demon on the plane. Mr.
Guts told his sister to close her eyes and pray because Satan's disciples had followed him onto the plane and the Legion didn't want they didn't want him to make it to Haiti. Sounds fun.
Sounds fun. So there's literal demons now on the plane.
You can add this to the mix. People now, you know, I fly a lot.
People tell me, they go, is flying safe? What's going on with flying? So now this is a fun thing to actually include. You can say, well, now actually there are demons on the planes.
And those people are fighting a spiritual war in the air, 30,000 feet in the air. There are people that are being possessed by demons on the plane.
That's going to have to be a question that's asked now as you go through airport security. Do you feel you are being currently possessed by a demon? No.
Oh, thank you. Do you have any liquids? Yeah.
Is the laptop out of the bag? Are you currently being possessed by a demonic entity? Not that you're aware of. Okay, excellent.
Thank you. Go through the metal detector on the right.
No liquids. And there will be a line for people who are being possessed by a demon.
By the way, there'll be a separate, like, you know how they have clear and TSA Preach, there'll be a separate line for demonic possession where they'll just hand you a rosary and go, good luck. Can you imagine that? People on the ground in Savannah, they go, what happened to the plane? There was a demon on it.
And they literally, and they go, what are you talking about? No, there was a demon on the plane speaking in demon language trying to rid the demon by eating rosary beads we via the land. That sounds like the biggest lie.
They go, really? Did you drink and miss your flight? No, there was a demon that was trying to do an exorcism on himself in the plane. I mean, it really is getting to a point now where if you do not have to fly, just don't do it.
Really don't do it right now. If you do not have to be somewhere, don't be there.
I don't understand why you would go anywhere now. Is this one of these spam calls? No, it's someone else.
But I'll tell you this, I hate the fact that I have to fly all the time and it is something that I have to do. And there's a new, you know, the new reality of the world.
And I think there is a new reality. And it's like, what is essential? Is it an essential trip? Is this friendship essential? You know, really, truly, is the money you're spending essential? And I think that's what people have to think about.
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Investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments an sec registered investment advisor investing involves risk offers subject to terms and conditions u.s unveils a new app for self-deportation this is a new app where you i think you self-deport on the app the trump is the Trump administration is repurposing a mobile application originally created to facilitate asylum appointments into a way for undocumented migrants already in the U.S. to self-deport.
The app known as CBP Home allows immigrants to submit an intent to depart, which U.S. Customs and Border Patrol says

offers them a chance to leave without harsher consequences.

So basically, they're like, just go on the app.

Just go on the app.

We can do it easy or hard.

Hard is we have to go get you,

but easy is you just go on the app.

You go on the app and you click leave.

Just click the icon that says leave, leaving. If they don't, we will find them and deport them and they will never return.
And the statement of Homeland Security, Secretary Kristi Noem, that's a woman who shot her dog in the head, said that by self-deporting to the app, migrants may still have the opportunity to return legally in the future and live the American dream. And they should say that on the app.
Self-deport and then return legally later and live the American dream. What is the likelihood anyone's used this app to self-deport, by the way? I mean, because by the way, I don't think they have like, I don't think they have the resources to deport all these people anyway.
So who's on the app? Wouldn't you chance it instead of going,

you're going to go on the app and click leave.

Just go on the app.

And then what happens by the way,

according to DHS,

the app is meant to compliment a $200 million domestic and international campaign calling for undocumented migrants to stay out and leave now.

This stay out and leave now campaign.

So you open the app and it just goes, get out.

What kind of app is a crazy app?

Who designed that app?

You open the app and it goes, stay out and leave now is the leave now and stay out is

the campaign.

So wait a minute.

That's the whole thing.

Like Trump's like, we're deporting everyone.

It's just an app that some shitty guy in Silicon Valley created to some shitty app. This is is all it is.
It's just DoorDash for immigrants telling them to leave. Hey, get the fuck out of here.
What is this? That's all it is? So that's what this whole thing was. He just wants to sell Teslas on a White House lawn, and then there's an app that's just going to just, you're going to get a push notification to leave.
You should be leaving. Are you leaving now? Are you leaving now? And stay, and then once you cross the border, it goes, and stay out.
And then do you still have the app so you can track? Can immigrants track each other leaving? Is it like Venmo where you can see that I split a sandwich with someone? Is that the app?

CBP Home?

Can I see if other immigrants, like where they are in their journey?

I'm like, oh, you said you would leave, but I see on the app, you're not.

You're the dot.

That dot hasn't moved.

You're full of shit.

I mean, what the fuck is this app?

By the way, this is why the tech community wanted to get in with Trump. They're like, oh yeah, we're going to build the deportation app.
Does anyone believe that any of this has any, that this is going to work at all? Submit intent to depart. View my departure and then verify departure.
Make that bigger.

View my departure.

View your departure report from the...

This is so Orwellian.

You should download it.

Our buddies here watching.

I mean, this is so crazy.

View my departure and then verify my departure.

Departing traveler.

And it's just the United States and then it has arrows going up and then arrows my departure. Departing traveler.
And it's just the United States. And then it has arrows going up.
And then arrows going down. So that's what this whole thing is.
That's what the whole thing is. Is just this new application.
That's so funny. That's so crazy.
What does it say? Homeland security overhauls. It's asylum phone app.
Now it's for self-deportation. CBP.
Oh, it ratings and reviews on the app store 2.9 out of five. Oh, let's go.
Really bad to get an appointment. This app has several bugs that need to be corrected.
In our case, we were a Cuban family that was stranded in Mexico with two minors since December 29th. There are four of us in total.
We've been trying to get an appointment at the border for more than 10 days, but it always gives a different error. Well, that's probably by design.
We have even completed the entire process we finished after capturing. Even the photo tells us that there's no capacity to serve for people.
Go to the next app.

I mean, this is a one-star review of the deportation app. By the way, who is reviewing the deportation app with five stars? Who's like, it made, yeah, it was able to be kicked out of the country easily and efficiently.
Instead of Homeland Security knocking my door down, this allowed me to self-deport because my daughter said she was pro-Hamas at Columbia University. It was an easy, efficient process.
Listen to this. Bug alert.
Save button from profile does not work. App, app, bro.
This is like when I select edit traveler profile, the fields on the screen are filled out. No message shown.
When I select again, edit traveler profile, the fields on the screen are empty. So it keeps, it's so's so annoying to fill out your Edit Traveler profile again.
I mean, yeah, again, people are angry and upset about this app. This is how much we're living in a tech dystopia.
These people aren't even like mad they're living the country. They're just, they just hate the app.
That's how it all goes.

We'll all just be reviewing an app at the end.

There's no other place for any of us to go

except just to review an app and go,

this doesn't really work.

They'll be forcing us to kill ourselves with an app.

There'll be a euthanasia app.

There'll be an app for those suicide pods

and someone will go, you know, I got to be honest.

I tried to get an appointment at that pod

for three weeks in a row. The app just, it keeps clearing all the fields after I fill out the information.
That's the, that's the world Elon Musk wants, by the way, where all you can do is review your suicide app. Because if you're not chosen to merge with AI and you won't be, then what happens? Then you will go the SuicidePod app, you fill your information out, and you deport from Earth.
If you think self-deporting from America is the only thing, you're out of your mind. You will be self-deporting from Earth, by the way.
And these people are going to make it easy and efficient for you. They want to make it easy and efficient for you to end their life.
I am telling you right now, and I like what Trump is doing with foreign policy. We got to get out of the Ukraine war.
America's not the boss anymore. We share the planet with China and Russia.
I know you might not like it. And North Korea and Iran.
We can't fight a war on three stages. I agree with a lot of what Trump's doing with foreign policy.
It makes a lot of sense, even though people are yelling and kicking and screaming. On the domestic side, handing your presidency over, handing it over to Elon Musk, who's running around with a chainsaw, potentially on ketamine, probably on ketamine,

is the biggest mistake I've seen made.

And this is the hubris.

This is the hubris that allowed the Biden administration to do all the crazy things

that got the Democrats thrown out of office.

This is the hubris where you go, oh, we're going to run this octogenarian dementia patient, Joe Biden, until he gets out on the stage and literally dies in front of everyone.

Then we're going to run Kamala Harris, his empty-headed secretary, the vice president notwithstanding. No one knows what she did, not even her.
the hubris that allows you to make that decision

is the same hubris that allows you

to just hand the federal government over

to a guy that a lot of people in America already hate or will hate soon. This is the fatal flaw in humanity.
And that's the reality. It's a great line from the show Louis, Louis C.K., the comedian's show.
When Joan Rivers looked at him, he was complaining about something or other, and she said, know when you're lucky. Know when you're lucky.
Nobody seems to be able to do that. Certainly nobody in the political world seems to know when they're lucky.
They keep pushing, just like the Biden administration kept pushing. Trump is going to keep pushing.
And people desperately want a sense of normalcy in this country. They don't want an open border.
They don't want biological men competing in women's sports. They also don't want to live in a Christian theocracy.
They also don't want Elon Musk taking a chainsaw to Social Security. They don't want the richest man in the world selling Teslas on a White House lawn.
They don't want any of this. You know, most people just want normalcy.
They want a sense of reality, of time, of purpose. And if the conservative party stands for anything, it should be able to give them that and slow the pace of change.
It's the entire philosophy of conservatism is to slow the pace of disorienting and destabilizing change. And in fact, we've seen quite the opposite.
We have a transhumanist with a chainsaw running around the White House screaming and yelling about the need to get rid of the Parks Department. I don't know that that's what anyone voted for.
So at this point, right now, if there was an election tomorrow, I swear to God, even though she'd throw me in jail, even though she might execute me, right now, there is only one person who possesses the skill set to be the next president of the United States. There is only one person who has, I believe, the internal fire to be the president of the United States.
And if you can defeat the monarchy, you can lead this country. So I'm endorsing, as of right now, Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, to be the president of the United States in three years, because she can do it.
She defeated Britain again, single-handedly, okay? With a couple of magazine articles and a documentary she has within her the demon that's needed she can do it i'm worried about what where this administration's going and we were all clearly worried about what the hell was going on with Joe Biden. But this bitch making her own

honey in Santa Barbara, bringing Mindy Kaling's fat ass over to mispronounce her name. This bitch has it.
Sorry she does. If the presidency in America is for someone that has to, by their very nature, have turned off some of their humanity and acts on instinct to preserve the greatness of an empire, look no further than this bitch.

I have fully and completely changed my mind about her. As she goes deeper and deeper into hell and fights all of the people, including me, I'm a big critic.
And she doesn't care.

She's undeterred.

That's what you need a president to be.

She is completely, it doesn't matter to her what you think of her.

She is a born leader.

This is true. Yet, is it based on anything?

Are you wasting my time?

Have you listened to me for a year?

Shut up!

You know what this world is already. You know what this world is.
Okay. You know what it is.
She will beat China. She will beat them.
The presidency is about nothing. If it's not about little moments, it's not about perfection.
It's about little moments. It's about celebrating yourself.
It's about little moments. It's about celebrating yourself.

It's about loving yourself.

It's about family.

It's about good friends.

It's about little moments.

That's what it is.

I hope our overlords would do well to remember that.

If not, I fear we're getting a dose of Megan.

And soon, good night.

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