436 - Andrew Schulz

This podcast is brought to you in part by Stash. Saving and investing can feel impossible, but with Stash, it's a reality.
It's easy. Stash is an interesting investing app.
It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with dependable financial strategies to help you reach your goals faster. They'll provide you with personalized advice on what to invest in based on your goals.
Or if you want to just sit back and watch your money go to work, you can opt into their award-winning expert-managed portfolio that picks stocks for you. Stash has helped millions of Americans reach their financial goals and starts at just $3 per month.
Don't let your savings sit around. Make it work harder for you.
Go to getstash.com slash T-I-M to see how you can receive $25 towards your first stock purchase and to view your important disclosures. That's get.stash.com slash Tim.
That's get.stash.com slash Tim. Paid non-client endorsement, not representative of all clients and not a guarantee investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments, LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor.
Investing involves risk offers subject to terms and conditions. Andrew Schultz is with us.

Your new special out on

Netflix right now. Yes, sir.

Title. Life.

Life. You did a huge tour,

arena tour all over the world.

A lot of Middle Eastern countries. A lot.

You're loved there.

You fill.

I'm the only Schultz allowed in the Middle East.

You do stadiums in like in the wildest. You'll be like in a soccer stadium in Bahrain.
You're like Qatar. It's wild.
Well, if you do a decade of women are annoying jokes, you really can gratiate yourself. A decade of pitch get in the kitchen.
People start to go, we like this guy. What is different? Is there anything different about doing comedy over there? Honestly, they're all educated in America.
It's like more similar to doing, like you've done Europe, right? Yeah. And you know how like they're like aware of shit, but they also have their own TV shows.
So like they're also not aware.

Yeah.

Whereas in the Middle East, like they get all of our shit because they're not making their own TV shows really.

Right.

So they're way more aware of, you know, just random references and like they all get educated here and not at fucking NYU.

Do you get a talk?

Is there any because I've never done anything over there.

I told them, don't tell me.

So they come to you like Live Nation comes to, and then they'll come to your manager and shit, and they'll say, hey, and I just say, just don't tell me. Don't say X, Y, Z.
Just don't tell me. Gotcha.
Okay. But I just don't want to know.
Because that was my question. Is there something where they go, don't, hey.
Yeah. I mean, don't talk about Mo.
Like, I think that's like the basic rule. What's that? Muhammad.
Like you can't. Oh, right.
Yeah. Yeah.
But like, I even had some like. I thought you meant Mo Amra.
I'm like, he's that big that they threaten you. They're like, do not speak about him.
I'm like, that's interesting. But that makes sense.
But besides that, like I had jokes about like Muslims and shit like that. They were cool with it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. They've all, they all went to school at like central Tennessee at like Central Tennessee State.
Is that true? Yeah, they know America, America. Right, okay.
So they're not at all like worried about it. Yeah, interesting.
I was in Abu Dhabi though, so it's maybe a little different than if you're going to Saudi Arabia. I want to do, I want to just do, because I'm not going to be able to sell the tickets you sell, but I want to do Pakistan.
Like put me in real real kind of small. You gotta get that black lady to open for you.
I don't want any westernite. I want radical places where I can go where it's like real deal, nightmare city.
Did you cover the story of the chick from Brooklyn who was in Pakistan? She was the story in Pakistan for like a week? It, you know what's amazing? Get some of her up because that, to me,

is what the Costco family should have been.

Like that woman.

You know the Costco, obviously, the cookie people,

double chocolate cookie.

Oh, the boom or whatever.

The Bafumos.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

AJ and Big Justice and the whole gang.

To me, my Costco family was this woman

who went to meet a dude in Pakistan and

they're all being nice to her.

They're buying a McDonald's like the Pakistani people kind of absorbed this.

They thought it was amazing.

They welcomed her.

Yeah.

And she went over to meet a man.

Yeah.

And then she wanted 50 grand.

Yeah.

To fix Pakistan though.

She was like,

give me 50 grand.

I'm going to fix the roads,

the railways. Yeah.
We're fixing Pakistan. That's a crazy crazy.
We're building airports. And she just met a dude online.
Yeah, then she catfished. And so he was down until she pulled up.
Yeah. He thought she was different.
Yeah. He thought she was a different thing.
Yeah. Yeah.
This woman, yeah, I mean, she looks so cool.

I love the way she looks.

She just has like a, get a video of her up because she's making demands of the Pakistani government.

Where she's like, I saw her sitting over there.

Yeah, there you go.

American woman who arrived in Karachi.

Then they flew her home.

I think they flew her to Dubai and then something happened in Dubai.

She might have got detained.

You can only tolerate that for so long before, you know.

Yeah, here she is.

An amazing woman.

Paper that y'all going to give us money tomorrow.

All by the ending of this week.

We need 50K. Music.
We need 50K. It's the most American thing to show up to another country and then ask for money to fix their country.
There's nothing more American than showing up going like, I'd like to fix your country.

That's so funny.

Like, why did we react like she was doing something so crazy? No, this is all we do.

This is Iraq.

This is Iraq.

This is Afghanistan.

This is Afghanistan.

This is Afghanistan.

This is the most.

Yeah.

We're just like, you need our shit.

Yeah.

You just need what we got.

And we just need 100 grand.

That's all we need.

We need a little money to give you what you want. Yeah.
Yeah. And we do that's our game can i ask you a question yeah um have you spoken on your show uh about your recent photo shoot have you have have you talked about it yet no the one in california yeah the california photo shoot because i saw it proliferating the internet and i was incredibly You know, people don't think of me as a model, but the definitions are changing.
And I wanted to go down and see the devastation of the California wildfires. And because again, I sold my home here.
I was lucky enough not to have a house burned down, but that doesn't matter. Doesn't really matter because like a casino, anything can happen to anyone at any time.
I've paid taxes here. I've lived here.
I've participated in this culture. I wanted to kind of spend some time with the nightmarish reality of what fire can do.
So I went down there and the National Guard has stopped you in the Pal Right. And they stop you going into Malibu.
And you got to have, you got to take out your license and you got to have a good line of shit. And so you had, how'd you get in? What was the- My producer is sitting in the front row, the front seat of my car.
And he looked like a junkie because he's from California. So they look like drug addicts.
They have long hair and they have a stupid look to them and they're all glazed over.

And he actually said to me, he goes,

just say you're dropping me off at a sober living.

And I go, wow.

So we stopped.

The National Guard guy stopped us.

And he goes, what are you doing?

I said, we're taking this kid to a sober living.

And they were like, good for you.

And I went, yeah, it is.

Yeah, it is actually.

And we drove there and I just started taking some photos, um, in the wreckage, which

I think we can find pretty easily.

Yeah.

They were nice.

I mean.

Any specific homes?

Like were they, uh, no, they were just, no, they were just things that I saw that caught

my eye.

I don't think they'll ever rebuild it there.

I don't think, uh, they will ever, um, I don't think they'll ever rebuild it there i don't think uh they will ever um i don't think they will ever like i mean people are saying that they'll rebuild it but do would you rebuild it would you build another 20 million dollar house in an area where that could happen okay all this is so interesting that you're even saying this. I was talking to the all-in guys earlier.

And I think it was Chamath was saying this,

like this idea that there's like a home on like 0.4 acres

that's worth $100 million.

It's crazy.

There's just these crazy ideas that we need to completely rethink.

Get rid of.

I agree with you.

And they were, you know, speaking in economic terms

that are like far beyond like my understanding of shit.

But just this idea that like.

It's far beyond their understanding. All right, fair enough.
All in, but I'm kidding. I like them.
I like those criminals, but they, they said an interesting thing. And you probably know about this from your time doing mortgages or whatever that like, like pushing the American dream of like purchasing a home.
Yeah. Right.
And that the, I guess the U S government has inflated, I'm going to say inflated the market, but in an effort to push people and support that market, essentially not letting that market fail, which it would suck if it would fail, obviously. They've inflated the prices of these homes and essentially priced out the first generation of people to buy homes.
For sure. Now they're much more expensive.
They've done a lot of things. It's the main thing in our country is the main dream is that everyone owns a home.
Yes. So number one, we're one of the only countries with a 30 year fixed mortgage.
Nobody takes a loan out and gets 30 years of stability at one rate. And the reason that we're able to do that is the government came up with these things called GSEs, government sponsored entities, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
And they give what they call an implicit guarantee. So they back it no matter what.
They back it. And even though it's not explicit, it's like implicit, like you understand that it's going to be okay.
It creates a security necessary for the market. Exactly.
So it allows a bank to go out and lend a 30 year fixed mortgage at a favorable rate. They also depress interest rates so that people can get in the game.
And then they create these asset bubbles where like houses are worth an absurd amount of money. And you know, I mean, look at this, right? So this is a car.
Yeah. You know, people just left.
This is how quickly these things came on. Yeah.
That's a Bentley burnt. Go to the next photo.
That's someone's house. You look slim.
Burnt. I look great in that.
I really think you do. Yeah.
I think that's a great photo of me. And you know what? It's worth whatever happened in the background i think so too and look so take a look at all of this here's my question here's my issue you really start to realize once these houses are gone it's kind of interesting it's like la when hollywood is is kind of died yeah it's like it's almost like this town is now like cinderella you know it turned into the pumpkin and she's like so what It's a pumpkin.
And you're like, no, bitch, it's supposed to be a carriage. We're supposed to believe it's a carriage.
You look at that shoreline, I don't think anything on that's worth anything. Isn't it funny? Straight up.
You look at that and you go, what the fuck is Malibu? Somebody paid $80 million to live here. Somebody spent $70 million to live on that shoreline with that gray water and that overcast sky.
It's like when crypto hits zero and you just go, oh yeah, that's how much it should be. Right.
And then the only reason Malibu was ever Malibu was because Hollywood was in LA. So you wanted to be two hours or an hour or an hour and a half, depending on where you were, from the epicenter of Hollywood.
Yeah. And now you're like, well, if Hollywood's not centered in LA and it doesn't have this, then Malibu, it's still, Malibu might not be Malibu anymore.
Yeah. People might just go, fuck it.
I'm going to get, I'm going to get a beautiful home in Mexico. I'm going to get a beautiful home in the islands.
I'm going to go somewhere else because the world now is smaller and people are more comfortable going other places. They don't need to be an hour and a half.
So what do you think happens with LA? Like, give me the next like five, 10 years. It becomes, it could become a vassal state of China, meaning like, and I'm kind of for that, where Chinese billionaires come in and just buy all the real estate.
So like Vancouver. Yeah, that's what it is.
Canada's the future of a lot of things. With Canada, it's peaceful, it's calm.
No one's getting rich. It's full socialism where people get mad at me for saying that.
But I don't mean in the economic sense. I understand that it's capitalist, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
But I mean like wine bar. Come in and get pizza.
Nobody cares. No one's trying.
You go into the supermarket, there's two types of peanut butter. It's a soulless corporate hell.

Yeah.

And you walk around and it's just like, you know, I was kidding around like they should have places just called warm. It's warm in here.
There's nothing unique. There's nothing interesting in most parts of Canada.
It's just natural beauty. Yeah.
That's kind of what I worry about with L.A. because the only thing that made L.A.
interesting at all was the fact that it was the home of myth. It was the home of pretend.
It's a city with a college football team. Yeah.
That's what Hollywood is. Yeah.
And then if the football team leaves the city. It's over.
So. What do you think happens to Columbus, Ohio, if Ohio State leaves? That's right.
And Les Wexner. If Les Wexner and Ohio State leave, it's over.
Give him immunity. Shout out to Les.
Give him immunity. You think he talks? No.
He's 90 years old. No.
What does he have to lose? He's 90 years old. You know, here's what they have to lose.
Why let him win at 90? Why open your fat yap at 90? So you could, do you die with some peace? Peace? Oh, I don't think he wants peace. No? What does he want? He wants pieces.
I think he's gotten a piece. I think he's gotten more than one piece.
That's probably it. I think these guys, and it's fascinating because if you look at the ruling class, you go, the vast majority majority of them have no idea what's going on.
They just know that the shrimp is good. Who is the ruling class to you now? Me, you, Theo Vaughn, Joe Rogan.
No. Like, is it still the Vanderbilts, the Rockefellers? No, no, no, no.
It's just, you know, the richest, most powerful, politically connected people in society society. Like this guy owns a bunch of companies.
He's a big political donor. He's got a lot of friends.
You know, you would do- So are the Ivy League Nepo babies, are they like, are they masquerading as the ruling class? They're all like in trouble. They came to my party in Hamptons.
They all want to be like comedians and writers. I mean, they're in trouble.
So's that's the thing I was wondering like I saw this drop dead when you walked in I go your family's killed people they go that's Andrew Schultz I'm like what happened here so so there's this like I saw this post like the oldest hotel in the world like in Japan it's like yeah started year 703 and it stayed in the same family for 52 generations yes right and you look at that you're like, that's kind of impressive because you look at these American families and within three or four generations, all the wealth is completely gone. And you're right.
They all want to be comedians and writers and all this other shit. Famous because they've been rich.
So they're bored. Yes.
And they go, they want to be famous. And also we got this thing here, which it's like, you know, follow your dreams and do whatever you want, which I think we need to push.
Don't get me wrong. But there's like a little there's.
Yeah. But what we don't have any of here is a.
What is that thing where it's like my dad was a cobbler and I'm a cobbler. Yeah.
What is that called? I agree with you, but you're right. And I don't know the term for it, but it's certainly a it's number one.
It's a respect for history. It's this idea that you and your family specialize in something and that you must carry on that tradition.
And there's like societal utility in it, and you're not a loser for following in your family's footsteps. That's right.
You're actually doing something honorable and carrying on this tradition. That's why Succession was such a good show, because the whole show is Logan looking at his firstborn son and going, you're a pussy, you'll never be able to do what I do.
You'll be eaten alive out here. Yeah.
And a lot of these guys, the Les Wexners, now he has kids. I'm sure they're lovely people, but he's probably looking at them going, you guys are soft.
You're never going to be able to put a Ukrainian woman in a crate. You're never going to be able to do it.
Now, so what? So what? And it doesn't mean they're bad. They're not bad people, the kids, but I think Les Wexner looks at them and goes, you'll never be able to do what I had to do to get here.
You're never going to have to watch. You're never going to be able to sit in a room while the mafia tortures some guy to get him to do something.
Like, you guys don't have it. You grew up watching Degrassi and your sweet kids.
And I think there's part of that because. But do they want them to do it? That's the thing that.

No, probably not.

They don't.

So there's all this like ego in it where we're like, you're a pussy.

You can't do what I do.

But I really don't want you to do what I do.

I don't want you to have to do it.

Just go and do something nice.

Make your mother happy.

Yeah.

Because I believe Les.

And again, no shade.

No shade.

No shade at all.

No shade to Les Wex.

No shade. I think he's one of the guys who, whatever he did, didn't do.
There are people that I believe are operators. I don't think it's most of those people.
I think most of the people are like, we're rich. This is good.
Yeah. I have a, I work in this thing.
I work at this bank. Yeah.
My wife is cool that I disappear occasionally. Yeah.
And I come back. I think there are guys, though, that know how things work and can make things happen.
Yeah. To a degree.
You're talking about, like, real power. Yeah, those guys.
There's money and then there's power. Yeah, there's probably 10% of the rich people that are kind of going, hey, let's, you know, make something happen.'s yeah let's move industry in a way that's favorable yeah i mean there's probably a lot more bad money mixed in with good money than people think i think people think they look at drugs and weapons trafficking and human trafficking all these things and they kind of in their head they put it? Yeah, as if that family is different than the Sacklers or something like that.
Right, or if that money and Wall Street money ain't all fucking together. Yeah.
And if all this money isn't together, like, all this money's hanging out together. Money's friends with money, like...
Oh, so a cartel boss, you're saying, might be friends with, maybe not the boss of the cartel, but whoever's managing the money at UBS for the cartel. A thousand percent.
He's also managing the money for the MIT endowment or something like that. All these guys now with the Epstein case, they all have to come out, these guys.
It was just a guy in Europe that had to do it, a guy in the UK. And he goes, because he was managing all the Epstein's money.
It was for Barclays, I believe. I believe.
Get this right. Cause I don't want to

piss. I want to get killed by the right people.

But they were

and they were going, you had

this business relationship with, yeah,

this, yeah, right. So this is

a, this is a guy here.

Just is Staley

Staley, Staley. And he

was basically, they said to him, they go, hey

man, why are you still working with Jeffrey Epstein

long after you knew he had all these problems?

And the guy's going like, the real answer is the money's green.

Yeah.

But he can't say that.

He has to go, well, I don't, you know, I mean, it's hard to,

well, I mean, you know.

Yeah.

But the reality is the money's green.

Began his second day in the witness box at his appeal against a proposed ban, a 1.8 million pound fine, saying he had no idea about the late financier Epstein's quote, monstrous activities. So everybody's just got to run around now and say, hey, we're sorry we took the money, but everybody takes the money.
Do we even care that they took it? I feel like we're just looking for somebody to punish. So now we're just going down the ladder and we're like, okay, you're, you're a, you're assistant.
You knew. Yeah.
There's, we, we want to, we need, we want justice, justice, closure or something. So I think that we're trying to isolate these people and go, all right, you will get you.
We are happy to let you know about a new, our new partner, identity Guard. You've heard the stories.
Fraud is running rampant in government agencies like the Social Security Administration. Suspiciously long-living beneficiaries, deceased voters still on the rolls, and bad actors exploiting the system while everyday Americans follow the rules.
Even as efforts are made to clean up this mess, one thing is certain, your personal data is at risk. Cyber criminals, foreign operatives, and even major corporations are cashing in on your information.
That's why I rely on Identity Guard. That's true.
I rely on it because of the cyber criminals and foreign actors. With Identity Guard, you're not flying blind.
They monitor your identity credit and social security number in real time so you get instant alerts before the damage is done if you get notified of something suspicious just call their usa-based customer care team who is available to you 24 7 that is a real person not a frustrating phone tree not an ai bot just a real person who understands what you're going through and knows how to help you fix it you know when you sign you sign up for Identity Guard, you'll be getting identity credit and social security monitoring. But did you know what else you'll get? Up to $5 million in identity theft, insurance, dark web monitoring, bank and investment account protection, and home and auto fraud alerts.
How about automatic data broker opt-outs? That means they remove your personal information from people's search websites and sell your data. That's sell your data.
We don't want to scare you, but need you to know that there is a victim of identity theft every six seconds. Don't let the next one be you.
Sign up for Identity Guard. Wow.
Listen to this offer from Identity Guard. Identity Guard is offering our listeners a 30-day free trial and 60% off when you go to identityguard.com slash Tim.
That's 30 free days and 60% off at identityguard.com slash Tim. That is less than what you're paying for that streaming service you've got to cancel.
That's I D E N T I T Y G U A R D.com slash Tim. Just sign up for a 30 day free trial and get 60% off certain terms apply.
So be sure to check the site for details. Another question.
This is different. What are your thoughts on J.D.
Vance? Smart. Very smart.
Had him on the show. Oh, you spoke to him.
Had him on the show. Interviewed him.
Yeah. What was your take? Before the election.
How prepared was he for you? I think prepared. Like he was acutely aware.
Yeah. I think J.D.
Vance is a guy who's wanted to be at the highest levels of political life for a very long time, like Kamala Harris. Yeah.
They're not dissimilar in that way. Right.
Whereas I think Donald Trump's kind of a guy who's like just this wrecking ball of fame and, you know, interesting, these raw political instincts.

J.D. Vance is a trained-

Operator.

Operator.

Emotional intelligence through the roof.

Very high, knows what he's doing, has the tech people,

has the Catholics.

Disarming.

Disarming.

He's got a little bit of that, like,

Clinton disarming with the accent.

I think understands a lot of where,

what is motivating and incentivizing people right now in the political sphere. Yeah.
Now what they do in the next four years and how it plays out is going to, I think, determine his future because he will, I think to an extent own whatever happens. So here's the thing.
What does he believe? That's my only concern with him. Like, I mean, yeah, I'm impressed with the guy that like comes from like a really tough family situation, broke, goes to Yale, navigates the Ivy League thing without having any sort of like familial connectivity to it and really nothing to offer in value.
It's not like I can understand if he was like a brilliantly talented minority or something. And there was like tennis scholarship.
Yeah. Wait, did he? I'm saying if he was oh yeah if he was an athlete or some shit right manages that says some crazy shit about trump ends up being the vp like yeah clearly this guy knows how to make people feel comfortable that's why i'm asking him when he's with you is there like a in the pre-conversation is he doing things to disarm you no no it's it's all very I think it's very, there's largely an understanding of the messaging and the messaging on that campaign was from his perspective, pretty tight.
Trump was all over the place because Trump can be all over the place. J.D.
Vance was out there going, the elites have destroyed the country. Yeah, class war.
Class war. Yeah.
They've betrayed American working people with endless immigration, bad trade deals. Yeah.
The liberals are out of touch socially, culturally with the public. Yeah.
He hit a lot of those notes. I think they were accurate at the time.
What the solutions will be is then that's the question.

But he understands what was motivating people, just like Trump did.

I think, you know, and part of me speaking to Steve Bannon,

it was very interesting when the Democratic Party became largely a party of college-educated coastal people.

Elites, yeah.

There was a pretentiousness.

There was a pretentiousness.

He would talk down to people. And it didn't mean that there aren't elites all over the place, right? Musk is an elite.
All these guys are elites. But there was a certain- But they're embarrassed about it.
When you're like a little bit elitist in like the South, there's that thing, don't put on airs, you know that term? Well, there's that, but there's also, there's a clownishness that almost saves Musk from being, he looks retarded half the time. So it's almost like he's, it's not that he's talking down to you.
He's crazy. And I think that like, not that, and I haven't said a good word about him recently, but like there is something about that coastal elitism that when you talk down to people and you, just recoil at that yeah we yeah they hate it and you can also like see the pendulum swing to the middle like yeah american culture like country music is the most popular form right like it just like when we were growing up it was the heyday of the coasts right and like we what do we call them flyover states like we really felt it.
I don't know if you felt it growing up, but like we even felt it in the city. Right.
Like if you're from Long Island, that's a little different. We were a little bit more, but that's what I'm saying.
It wasn't even like Tennessee is a flyover. You're like, oh, you're from the outer boroughs or you're from something.
So there was this constant, at least it would, I imagine like drove people fucking crazy, but I guess maybe there's like an aspirational quality too. You're like'm gonna get there one day or I'm gonna get that crazy house I think it you know it's a lack of it was a little bit of a lack of investment in those regions and we're kind of letting those you know shipping their jobs overseas and then letting them kind of fester and not caring about them and then then going why are they all pissed but I also think like the uh the like letting it's's not like, not only say letting, but you know, when they dropped interest rates to like zero or whatever, and then you have all these tech guys take out loans at 0% and then dump it into the market after the crisis and then make insane amounts of money.
I think the rest of America who are like financially illiterate, like me, you have this feeling you're going like, hold on, why are they getting so rich? Right. I'm not getting anything.
And you have this runaway train where American excellence and opulence is leaving you behind. So I understand the resentment of that.
And you have to find a way to include those people in it. Yes.
You have to have a country that works for as many people as possible. And you have to have a culture that does.
That's the other thing. You can't dictate to people deeply personal things.
And I think that's become apparent. What do you mean by that? Meaning you can't tell people that their children are the property of the state or the education system.

And, you know, for example, if a seven-year-old feels weird about their gender, you know, having a public school teacher tell them how things work is never going to make people happy. People really want to parent their children.

Yeah.

And I think that the overreach has been creating this,

you know,

cultural space where like you are,

feel like you're losing control of your family values,

whatever they happen to be. Just the autonomy of your family.
The autonomy of your family to public institutions that you may or may not agree with. And then you're going to naturally resent those public institutions.
And you naturally resent them. So a lot of it's overreach.
It's like, it's never enough. No one gets power and goes, I'm good.
Yeah. It's always like more.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it happens on the right.
It happens on the left. It's just people want more of the thing that they have.
It's just human nature to try to go, Oh, it's this way for me. Well, it's going to be this way for you.
Yeah. And I think I've never been interested in that.
Our job is a weird job because we're outside a little bit. We just get to make fun of who's in power.
That's right. It's very fun.

We get to, well, we also just kind of like,

we don't depend on the structures other people depend on.

It's in a different way. In a different way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To me, we're not in a corporate job.

I don't know what a human resources meeting is.

I don't know what a educate college, you know, board it.

Like it's, you know, we're just kind of accountable

to the people that listen and come to see the shows.

Yeah.

So, but people that are in those environments

felt this stuff more than I did.

Like a lot of the stuff that was coming in

over the last four years,

they kept having meeting after meeting after meeting.

And then they go to a meeting

and you would show up to your job

and they'd put you in a meeting and go,

all right, so tell the whole team the last time you were racist. And you'd be sitting there and your black colleague would be looking at you like, all right, and smiling because the black people were like, this isn't for us.
They were laughing. They were like, well, this is hilarious.
So it was this weird thing. Like I remember DiStefano was on a show.
I forget. It was like the Back bar wars or something yeah yeah and then like in the beginning of the backyard bar war show where they're reviewing tiki bars built in people's backyards yeah one of the producers was said let's have a moment of silence for asian hate yeah and he had to kind of stand there and then they'd go okay good all right anyway this tiki bar shit and i'll tell you why bro every time i'm up in canada doing a like a show on like native land or whatever you have to do a land acknowledgement right have you done this when you're of course and they get up there and they go hey this used you actually sometimes have to say you're like this used to be native land or whatever yeah and i and i was i always felt like this feels like we're rubbing it in a little like yeah it's a weird thing when you land in australia they're like we like to give uh you know we like to acknowledge the past present and future guardians of the land the elders the tribal and you're like isn't acknowledging it the least you can do like the least it's just for you they're not happy with the acknowledgement it's the least you can do but we're also living in a time now where it's's almost like if that's what you want to do, all right.
Yeah. I don't, don't leave me alone.
Yeah. Leave my money alone.
Yeah. That's fine.
Yeah. That's okay.
Is that your only idea? Okay. We'll do that.
We're going to do that because the next idea is going to be, by the way, where's all your money? Yeah. And it's not going to go to help anyone.
It never does. It goes to fund some bullshit thing that, you know, pays a bunch of six-figure salaries to people to study problems and never solve them.
Yeah. But, yeah, it's like there is just a certain amount of like, it's like you would say grace, and I'm not denigrating grace or religion or whatever, but that's kind of what it feels like.
Yeah. It's like you say grace, then you eat.
It's like, oh, we landed in Melbourne? Okay, great. We're going to just say this.
Hopefully it's good. Yeah.
Hopefully it's good. It's weird.
Do you think that, yeah, I'm trying to think, like the performative measures. I wonder if that goes away.
It will. I wonder if that with this administration.
I think it will go away. I think a lot of that will probably fade only because it's like culture moves quickly.
And I think that people are just going to get bored of pretending. Yes.
And I think- Yeah, there's an exhaustion. There's an exhaustion.
It's exhausting. And I think that hopefully where we find ourselves is a nuanced place where people realize the world is complex.
People are complex. And we go back, like my dream is to go back to the 90s.
My dream is to go back to like, you're an individual. You sit on like a clunky big couch.
You drink a cappuccino out of a big fishbowl. You listen to music.
You tell your friend about it. They don't like it as much as you do.
That pisses you off a little bit. You don't let them know that.
You think we're too invested in politics now? Not only are we too invested in politics, we're too invested in the collective, in like my business is your business and you got to do what I say. And to me, that's uninteresting.
What's interesting is like figuring out how much you can,

you know, develop yourself as a human being. And I think that gets really lost when you're constantly in these like

collectives with people.

That's what I like about LA.

LA still comedically, you go in, you do your spot and you,

you kind of just go, thanks everybody.

There's no hang. Yeah.
And you miss that sometimes in New new york i go there's more of a hang in new york but sometimes it's really good to not have 20 people in your ear sometimes it's good to be like let me just use my own fucking brain figure out what i think and figure out what i think independent without the social pressure of being. And social media has made that harder.
No, that's a good point. Social media, it's created like in these like digital hangs that are informing your opinions about the world.
And there are people who are terrified if their opinion goes against their like hang group or whatever. Yeah, that can.
And that's kind of how you saw comedy come up where each scene had a style. Right.
And it was kind of like everybody fit within the style. I remember when everybody was doing a tell in New York.
Do you remember when everybody sounded like a tell? Yes. And there are people listening right now that probably know comedians who came up under a tell that might not even be familiar with a tell.
That's right. But they're whatever gremlins off his back or whatever that is sure yeah that's that's interesting like there's a colin quinn school yep there's you tell school school patrice school like there's all those different things and like it's it's impossible to not be influenced by people i just think right now it's like there is something nice about just going like being a product of not a political reality, but of a culture and an environment going like, oh, I'm from Louisiana.
We eat this. This is what we believe.
We like getting drunk. Yeah.
We, this is what we value. Not like, oh, I'm a fucking like communist, socialist, fascist, Marxist, Democrat, Republican, libertarian.
Okay, yeah, but tell me more about your life. Where'd you come from? I wonder if like, I wonder if that's more what I'm interested in.
Yeah, but that's also probably more your life. Like you're a gay guy who is, I don't even want to say you're conservative.
What do you, what do you conservative? No, it's a Nazi. I would say a Nazi.
Like a gay guy who's a Nazi. It's a Nazi is really what I, that's kind of what I'm feeling right now.
Gay guy, Nazi, Jew lover. I like a little Jew money.
Gotta watch him. Gotta watch him.
Where are they going? There they go. Hey.
You don't know where Dove is right now. I love the Jews, but I feel it's like a dog in a park.
It's like, are they getting into something?

Huh?

So that's the thing.

Dove is rented out the other half of the studio right now. To someone else.

There's three tailors doing pants.

There's someone sitting there.

But yeah, yeah, I hear what you're saying.

Like your life is probably more individualistic.

I have a weird fucking life.

Yeah, but I think you embrace that, obviously.

I think it's fine.

You're not trying to conform.

No.

I conform to certain degrees.

Like what?

I don't think you're that, obviously. I think it's fine.
You're not trying to conform. No.
And- I conform to certain degrees. But- Like what? I don't think you conform in the way you dress.
I don't think you conform in your ideas. No, no.
I'm pretty wild in that shit, but I think we're all products of, like, I want to do well. Is that conforming? No, maybe not.
Like, the people who reject, I mean, we talked about this a little before, but like, the people who reject, like, wanting to do well. Or trying.
Or trying. It's just like you're afraid of failing.
And that's okay. Like we're all afraid of failing.
That's right. But fail, pussy.
Like don't, it's okay to try. It's okay to make a sick studio.
It's okay to also have a sick one in New York. It's like trying is cool and we admire that.
That's right. But like doing the trying is gay thing.
Yeah. I can't wait till culture moves past that.
Like that I think is the most un-American thing in the fucking world. Yeah.
But I've always thought interesting people to me are interesting and that's what makes life worth it. Not groups of people or even the political realities of like this way or that way.
To me it's like I like to meet a person who's fucking weird. And like one idea doesn't correspond to the other.
And you go, how'd you get there from there? But are you getting that in L.A.? I feel like there's, I feel like it's like the epitome of group thing out here. Yeah.
It's a star-driven town. Everybody gravitates to the heat.
I feel like New York is a little bit more where the misfits can kind of- New York is more unique. Thrive.
New York, but I'll give LA this. As it craters to Earth, like an asteroid, it will develop more of that.
Yeah. It will develop more of that.
For a long time, it had the cockiness. Yeah.
And now it doesn't. It's kind of interesting.
Now, it's depressing and horrible, but there is something interesting about seeing a town like this get really humbled. Yeah.
And the people here are not, there's bad vibes everywhere. You go to a coffee shop, all these people, they just feel bad.
They know they're writing a script. No one will ever read.
They know they're in a relationship with someone who doesn't love them. They know that being fake doesn't even help anymore.
They know that it doesn't even matter the bullshit political stuff you post on social media because nobody even cares. They know that none of it matters anymore.
They're simply going through the motions. They go to Pilates.
They walk out. The homeless are barely into it now.
You know, the homeless with the knife is like barely chasing. Everybody is, I think, going through the motions here, and it's interesting.
It's not good though. It's bad.
LA people, I mean, American General runs on the idea that everybody's going to be a millionaire. LA runs on the idea that everybody's going to be famous.
And the second they stop thinking they'll be famous is when shit gets a little rough. That's when the cults start, and that's why I'm still here.
Oh, you're waiting for the cults. I will put 50 people in a backyard.
Don't think I will not put 50 people in a backyard. The cults are, we are right on the edge of a thriving cult environment here.
The conditions are ripe. The conditions are ripe.
If you are a 20 year old actor, let me help you.

If you're a male,

we're not going to do the females in the cult.

It distracts it.

So it's a male cult of people in their early 20s

who have dedicated their life to fitness and acting.

And if it's not working out,

there's other places we can go vibrationally with energy.

Vibrationally with energy, you know?

But no, there's going to be,

I'm telling you my prediction. You say what's going to happen to LA? Vassal state of China with the but no, there's going to be cool.
I'm telling you my prediction.

You say what's going to happen to LA.

Yeah.

Vassal state of China with the real estate.

Cause they're going to come in and buy all the real estate.

And then cults,

as far as the eye can see,

I mean,

you want to cults like you,

I mean,

cults like these fuckers will be in the backyard of a coffee shop in a,

in a thought circle. There'll be rampant meditation.
Some will go into Islam. Bitches will have burkas walking around.
We ho. They are going to find this is going to be.
It's like Scientology had the whole monopoly on culture for a long time. Yeah.
But now it's like in Chicago. they bulldozed this big project, Cabrini Green.

And what happened was you had lots of smaller gangs.

They put all the people that had ran that for a long time in jail.

So then all the younger guys were like, well, I'll just start a gang on every street.

Yeah.

And then it got crazy.

That's going to be cults in LA.

I believe the future is cults.

Like this.

Because people, the cult was fame. The cult was sex.
The cult was money. Yeah.
After fame and money are gone, you'll just have sex. So then you need a charismatic cult leader to put everybody in the backyard.
Go to the desert. Get in the van.
Get on the bus. And that's why I find it interesting, actually.
If you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table. When every customer conversation matters, you need a phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected.
That's why you need open phone. Every missed call, I mean, you're leaving money on the table.
Think about the last time you had a plumbing emergency. The first plumber didn't answer.
Did you wait or call the next one? Chances are you moved on. With open phone, you'll never miss an opportunity to connect with your customers.
In today's fast-moving world, your team needs to stay connected to your customers without missed messages, communication silos, or slow phone systems. A flexible and efficient business phone system isn't just nice to have.
It's essential to succeed. Enter open phone.
It's the number one business phone system that streams and scales your customer communications. It walks through an app on your phone or computer, so no more carrying two phones or using a landline.
With OpenPhone, your team can share one number and collaborate on customer calls and texts like a shared inbox. That way, any teammate can pick up right when the last person left off, keeping response times faster than ever.
Plus, with AI-powered call transcripts and summaries, you'll be able to automate follow-ups, ensuring you'll never miss a customer interaction again. So whether you're a one-person operation drowning in calls and texts or have a large team that needs better collaboration, OpenPhone is a no-brainer.
See why over 50,000 businesses trust OpenPhone to manage their business calls and texts. OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off your first six months at openphone.com slash Tim.
That's O-P-E-N-F-H-O-N-E dot com slash Tim. This is good.
A lot of people I know are using this now, whether they are in real estate or they have any type of service business that people are calling constantly, you need this because you don't want to miss those calls. If you have existing numbers with another service, open phone will port them over at no extra charge.
Open phone, no missed calls and no missed customers. It's really great.
Electricians, plumbers, anybody really doing anything. I know somebody with a cleaning business uses it.
You got to be available. No missed calls, no missed customers.
What's Joshua Tree? A dump. It's kind of a discussion.
It's where people go to take a bunch of shrooms and go, why isn't it working? I'll tell you why it's working. You suck.
You're bad. You're bad.
They go to commune with these entities and these entities get so bored. That's a little bad thing with the ayahuasca and shit.
It seems like this quick fix. You're depressed.
I know. First of all, ayahuasca was not invented so you could get a Range Rover.
That's not why the Incans were doing these ceremonies. It was not so you could strategize how to get a walk-on role on Hacks season four.
It was so that you could commune with elders that had left the physical reality that you were in. It was all boy.
That's so funny. So all these people take it.
If you're a shaman. Somebody doing ayahuas could get a job on a Netflix show.
No, if your shaman is named Jessica, she's not a shaman. She's a white chick from Phoenix.
You're a junkie. You're a junkie.
You're doing ketamine therapy. You're a junkie.
And there's nothing wrong with it. Just admit it.
We get it. Yeah.
So people go to Joshua Tree. It's pretty and whatever, but they're going there to have some experience.
But I see people from LA like treating as their getaway. I don't want to say it's the Hamptons.
This is what they want. Look at that.
It's that nice getaway. It's called Iraq.
Bagram Air Force Base. They go out there and they take a bunch of psychedelics and then they communicate with some entity and the entity goes It's the entity so tired at this point because the entity's in the realm and the entity's like, hello.
And then you're like, UTA is kind of, they're kind of hip pocketing me. And the entity goes, you're not bringing anything to the table.
There's nothing for you. And no, listen, it's a town about making the unbelievable believable.
So you got to go into the desert and take a bunch of drugs. That's okay.
Yeah. That's okay.
Nothing wrong with it. No.
Nothing wrong with it. That's where I got banned from Airbnb.
I can never rent an Airbnb in my life. I cannot put a property I own on Airbnb because of the two lesbians in Joshua Tree.
Still to this day. To this day.
And have you had any communication? I had Rogan ask the CEO.

He's like, no, we're not putting it back on.

Wow.

Yeah.

I'm going to change that for you.

I would love that.

But I also say a lot of negative things about Airbnb, and we'll continue to.

All right.

Well, I might not change that for you.

Yeah.

What is this?

What is that?

Is it Joshua Tree?

Is it people tripping out?

Yeah, some guys on shrooms in a Joshua Tree Airbnb.

Welcome.

Please, take a seat.

Join us in the world's very first shroom room.

So we're at Petite Noir, one of our properties,

and we decided to make this room into your own sanctuary in Joshua Tree.

We made this room so people can just, you know, place it.

Is this a joke? Is it a sketch?

Thank you. And we decided to make this room into your own sanctuary in Joshua Tree.

We made this room so people can just, you know, place it. Is this a joke? Is it a sketch?

Enjoy the serenity and peacefulness of Joshua Tree.

And it might be a polarizing thing for many people.

That's how close we're getting.

Right.

With the sketches and the actual promotion material.

You know, I don't know what it is.

I love that they put up shroom wall paper.

They're like, we've created a sanctuary.

People out here are different. and that's the problem.
What else have you been plugged into? Recently? Yeah. I'm really interested in the, what I'm really interested in now, actually, is like the people that are obsessed with living forever.
Oh, yeah. And like superfoods and like the way they're all trying to hack immortality.
Obviously, there's that Brian Johnson or whatever his name is, who's like taking his son's blood. Yeah.
But there's also a lot of other like cottage industries popping up right now to just increase mortality. Like people that are just like, I want to do it forever.
Yeah. So that's kind of interesting to me.
That's the ultimate hubris to me is that you'll beat death. Yeah.
That's fun to me. Yeah.
I like that. I like when human beings get silly and, and, and it's a little silly to me to go, I'm going to beat death.
Yeah. That's a fun one.
I like that. That's it.
I know a guy who was a producer and now he's like up in like a Santa Barbara and he's doing superfood stuff to try to hack, biohack immortality and live to 130. So it's interesting.
That stuff is fun to me. Yeah, I sat down with the Brian guy.
What did you think about him? I thought he was interesting. He believes it.
That's these guys. Like, whether it's, you know, aliens or, like, there's certain people who they don't believe it, but they're making money on it.
Yeah. And then there's certain people who believe it, even though we might believe they're crazy.
That's right. And I like the people who believe it a little bit more.
For sure. Because now they're not con artists.
It's kind of nice. So, I don't think he's a con artist, but he is, like, I think he was, like, a pretty devout Mormon that went through some crazy shit.
Yeah. I think It's kind of nice.
So I don't think he's a con artist, but he is like, I think he was like a pretty devout Mormon that went through some crazy shit. I think he's kind of replacing that.
The void that leaving the religion has created has maybe been filled with, I'm going to live forever and help everybody else live forever. That's right.
And interesting. I also think there's like, there's virtue in it.
Sure. Like I'm going to help everybody else be healthy and I'm going to, well, there's also a way to give yourself a purpose and a discipline and a, that's what I think a lot of people in life lack is purpose and discipline is, well, yeah, you gotta, you gotta, we, we tell people you gotta get rich, do this whatever but we we we should be telling people that they should develop genuine interests yeah and those interests may or may not correspond to financial gain yeah and they're those are two different things but you should be a person who has interests and cares about things and has hobbies and has a full life.
And like, you know, you don't have to be rich. You don't have to be, you know, it's nice to have more money than less.
Yeah. But like, you know, I think what happens is it almost feels weird to me.
This guy goes, I want to live forever, but what about the quality of life? Yeah. What exact for what? Yeah.
That's who, that's a question. That's what we asked him.
It was just like, is this worth it? Like you might live forever, but the life seems horrible. It seems odd to just want to live forever without a purpose.
Yeah. I understand people that go, I want to live forever because I'm finally going to do this thing.
And when I, there should be something that you can accomplish where then you go and now I'm ready to die. Yeah.
If there isn't, life has absolutely no meaning. If there's not one mountain to climb, you know what I mean? There's got to be something you can say.
Where you go, I did it. I did it.
I'm cool even though. Yeah.
I'm good. At the end of the day, there's got to be something there.
Yeah. What about the people that don't have an interest? I think that's the thing about about i guess maybe i don't know if it's like the dreamer culture in america is like not everybody got a fucking dream no of course and then they feel like losers when they don't have the dream those people i think can be the happiest people in the world if they not only accept that yeah but they then they have to develop because not everyone has a dream or a purpose.
And that's cool, but everybody has things they like. Exactly.
So yeah. Things they like.
Yeah. But, but here, if, if the thing you like doesn't make you money, then you're just like a loser with a hobby.
When in reality, you could be the happiest person on the planet. You'd be the happiest person on the planet.
Yeah. There are people I know who just, for whatever reason reason have a few things they like.
Yeah. And their lives are arranged around how often they can do those things.
Yeah. And some of those things are narcotics.
Some of those things are cheating on their wife. And you can't tell me they're not the happiest people.
Some of those things are marital infidelity. Some of them are narcotics.

Some of them are driving under the influence.

Whatever you're doing.

No, but I do think you've got to arrange your life.

I have friends that just like to travel.

Travel to me, and this is a take that people get mad at me for,

is the most overrated thing.

No, why?

I'll tell you why.

I always have a reason.

You never have to ask why.

I think it's the most overrated thing. The least intelligent people I know are the most well-traveled.
All the time. It's a substitute.
I love travel. I absolutely love it.
It's fine. Maybe you're the exception.
Okay, go, go, go. And I think you probably are the exception.
Most people who travel feel that it is a substitute for having a genuine personality, a genuine perspective, genuine takes. They never spend long enough in a place to learn anything valuable.
It is the aesthetic of going, taking a few photos, throwing them up on social media. For example, my grandmother lived in the same town for 50 years, went to one or two different countries.
There were 200 people at her funeral. I guarantee she had a fuller life and knew more about the world from watching that town change over 50 years than somebody who takes photos.
We know comics and they'll be like, when I was in Kuala Lumpur, and I'm like, you're homeless. I know that you traveled there, but no.
So yeah, you're talking about like Instagram travel for sure. A little bit of that, yeah.
Listen, you're performing for people. You're doing something in the country.
I like traveling in general, but I also have like a real curiosity about these places that I go to. For sure.
So there's certain places I'm going to go where I'm like, this looks like an awesome fucking hotel. Like the Amans are the best hotel I've ever been to in my entire life.

Great, great.

Unbelievable.

Great.

But outside of that, like just going to these different places has been fantastic.

But I'm like a nerd about travel.

Like I get like a tour guide to take me around the city and teach me everything about that city.

I'm in Istanbul with a tour guide, me and my wife, and we're just walking around and then i'm asking questions or writing notes sure so okay if that's what you do well that's terribly annoying it seems horrible yeah and i'm sure that like it drives my wife crazy at times but for me like if i'm diving like when i went to japan right everybody goes to japan like oh my god it's the best place in the world. Japan is torture to me.
It is absolute fucking torture. People are going to hate this.
Yeah, because they don't understand life. That's why.
I've never been. You could be right.
You'll have the best pizza you've ever had in your entire life. You'll have the best steak you've ever had in your entire life.
They're done with their culture. Now they're just refining other culture shit.
And they have this beautiful cultural specificity where they have to make everything perfect. There's a shame in them.
You know how everybody in America turns 30 and they want to be a DJ? There's no shame in us. We have no shame to do something mediocre.
I know. Matter of fact, it's to the not try hard thing we were talking about earlier.
They have seppuku. They kill themselves.
If they're not, I would rather be dead than the shame. Yeah.
Right. Now, what they have is there is no love in the culture at all.
Interesting. So you go there for a few days, you take your pictures, and you're like, oh, this is awesome.
You see the little Harijuki girls and stuff like that. You don't really notice much, and then you leave, and you're like, Japan is the coolest place ever.
You don't see a single—women stop aging at 13 years old. They're not allowed to be elegant and beautiful.
They can be you go to every any fucking clothing store their every skirt is at their fucking knee or they're dressed like a cartoon character like it is i've been to a bunch of places it's by far the most sexist place i've ever seen in my entire life and like oppressively sex like i don't even i don't even know if a single woman in japan has had an orgasm with a japanese dude okay because it's just not part of like oh we need to do we need to do that. Right.
I was speaking to these women. They were like, we went out to eat with a couple people.
And they're like, it's the most absurd thing you've ever seen. Like dating here is unbelievably painful.
Okay. They got to like develop cultural mechanisms for them to meet people now.
Right. Like knocking on a wall.
Because a lot of people just go to the sex cafe and jerk off with the cat. They've just, they've like.
But that's what they're doing. I think.
And I think that's good actually. But they've like, yeah, they've, they've, what is it called just they've like but that's what they're doing i think and i think that's good actually but they've like yeah they've they've uh what is it called uh they've like monetized every little aspect of culture that you can eat oh you need a nap here's a nap right like there's no just like a free willingness that you might have in like in italy or even like the caribbean this like natural love you have a kid around and everybody starts coming around and saying hi and pinching the kid's cheeks in this fucking love.
Right. So, a minute I got scolded.
Me and my wife

are in like an underground illegal bar

and I kiss my wife and the bartender

scolds it. We're at an illegal bar.

And she says you're not allowed to kiss your wife?

The dude. Oh.
The bartender.

Wow. So, it's just this

we have this idea of it and they have a beautiful thing

you're gonna have the best of the best. Is there

honor? In what? I don't know. It feels like an honor-bound culture.
There's honor. Yeah, I feel like people say that, but like honor for what? It's like- I don't know.
You're saying there's no love. Zero love.
What'd you say? Zero love. But is maybe there, is what we're recognizing as love, like the ooey-gooey American kissy kissy huggy love.
Do they have honor instead of love?

And it's a question.

I think the better word is sacrifice.

And I think that the culture is built around sacrificing like what you want.

Like maybe we're the complete opposite where we like don't want to sacrifice at all.

What makes me feel good?

Give it to me, inject it into me.

Right.

Right.

And just seeing, yeah, just seeing it, it was was really hard to be in.

Can you play this?

Play this woman.

I want to hear what she...

This is kind of interesting.

I've never been, so I think you...

You have dated American person, right?

Yes, yes.

I've been in a relationship with American people.

Dating culture in Japan, in the States, any differences?

Yes, I would say my Japanese ex-boyfriend,

I had to assume a lot of things because they are not really communicative so we assume something you know testing the water but like in in america you have to say whatever you have to say i learned myself a lot through the relationship because sometimes i have to bring up something that i don't feel comfortable with my ex-boyfriend said something that makes me feel uncomfortable but because of that i get to learn about myself a lot so so you're open to date japanese person or date american person or do you have any preference right now after dating both i don't think i have preferences but i would say at least showing interest in japanese culture or japanese language will be really big for me or like japanese people who speak both languages because i'm bilingual i don't really see myself feeling super comfortable only speaking japanese anymore i like to to mix the language, you know? It doesn't really matter if they're Japanese-American, but if they're bilingual or biculture, I feel more comfortable being around them. They're coming on board, bro.
They want the Americans. It is interesting.
Where would you say your favorite place that you've gone is? You've now just destroyed Japan as a loveless place.

Also, we went to like Kyoto.

That's another thing, which is like a Disney world.

Like people like love it.

It's like, oh, it's ancient Japanese.

You have these little geisha girls walking around.

It feels so performative, nonsense, bullshit.

It's like.

Interesting.

People do love it though.

They love it because they don't.

Right.

I'm not disagreeing.

I just have never been there.

They love it like they love Austin. Like you don't really love it.
First of all, Austin's the greatest city in the world. Okay.
I agree completely. I like it.
It's amazing. It's great.
Well, I like... Here's what I like about Austin.
If you come from a place that doesn't have a restaurant and then you move there, you're like, oh my God, a restaurant. I like that the trees are dead in all of the seasons.
Yeah, that's the beautiful thing about it. That's the night because sometimes...
Why do you want to see life? Sometimes trees have leaves and then they go away, but in Austin, they're just always dead. Always dead.
I like it. And it's too windy to eat outside.
A tomato fell out of my salad because of the wind. It hit me on the chest.
That's where we should eat out. Well, you're down one tomato, but you're also down listeria, which you would have gotten from it.
You know, that's a good point. You're assuming I didn't eat it.
The produce is not washed. You're assuming.
It's from Mexico. It's unwashed.
It's good, though. It is good.
Best place? Best place. I mean, it depends what you want, but like indulgence, France, 100%.
Yeah, south of France. I love the south of France.
South France is amazing. And it's like, whatever, pretentious thing.
I don't give a fuck. You love Italy? I love Italy.
But I also, like for different reasons, like the French are like, hey, listen, we are done with anything that is inconvenient to us. It got to smell the it's got to taste the best right it's got to feel the best right it's got the bed has to be the most comfortable yeah i'm not gonna be uh inconvenienced in any way i have to work how many days we're not gonna do that we're not like the whole culture is built around make me feel good in the moment so if you want to go someplace for three days and feel fucking good it's south of france you can go there it's very nice italy amazing obviously just like raw passion about everything turkey you love the history yeah turk that's like that's some cool shit if you want to get into the history i think that's some cool shit absolutely you love the all of the you know what's italy surprising? Dessert ass.

Yeah, because they use oil and not cream.

You're a culture.

For a guy who doesn't travel, you're a real cultured individual.

That's where the guys at the stand, whom I love, stop with this.

Whatever you're doing there, I've given you 50 suggestions about what desserts to do,

and they still bring out like Nona's olive oil cake.

Can you break this down to the people out here who might not understand?

Just because the pasta

and the sauce

and these things are delicious

doesn't mean you've understood dessert.

Remove the ego of the olive oil.

We get it.

It's good for your fucking heart

or some shit.

Get it out of there.

It's dessert.

We're not caring about our heart.

When I choose dessert,

I'm...

You know,

their whole thing,

I think,

is tiramisu,

gelato,

but it's not,

you know...

But look,

you named the two things that got cream. That's two things with cream.
Everything else is not good. If it doesn't have milk in it, we don't want to have it for dessert.
And by the way, here's the other thing. I have, you know, are you a guy that says Italian food is in Italy? How much better is it than in American? I don't like this idea that it's like that much better.
That's what I agree with you. It's, this is the it's like we often say things that like people will agree with us.
I agree. It's like the idea that New York doesn't have comparable food.
It's psychotic. What I will say is the regular mom and pop restaurant on the side of the road in Italy is better than the regular.
But if you're going to elite Italian,, honestly, it's probably better than New York. It might be a crazy take, but it might be better than New York.
New York's your favorite city. Yeah.
It is the best. It's the best in the world.
But it is the best, and it's not even like an argument. I'm not arguing.
But what would be the argument against it? That's what I'm trying to understand. Knowing that you can go

out east if you want to. There's a

certain feeling in

July when you

dip into Lake Austin

in the

green, in the greenness

and the brain-eating amoeba

swims up your nose and attaches to your brain

and you have 48 hours to live. Yeah.

And you spend that 48 hours on 6th Street watching horse fights. Cops on horses fight with people and paralyzed frat kids who are fighting.
It's just something special about it. It is something special.
It's 190 degrees. And they're just having a nice refreshing slab of brisket.
Oh. I mean, that's the perfect food when it's 190 degrees.

Yeah.

I mean, it's, no, listen, respect.

I like Dallas and I like Houston.

And Austin, you know, we have our things.

We like comedy.

I love Joe.

If we didn't love comedy, we wouldn't love it.

We love comedy.

We love Joe.

It's a good place for comedy.

We love to do comedy and we love our friends, our brethren that does comedy.

This looks insane here. It just looks like a, you know, the fights on the street, it's a good place for comedy.
We love to do comedy, and we love our friends, our brethren, that does comedy. This looks insane here.

It just looks like a – you know, the fights on the street,

it's a melee.

Yeah.

It's a melee.

It's fun when you're 19.

Yeah, it's like somebody took New Orleans and was like,

hey, how about no culture?

We'll just do this.

I've said the exact same thing.

It's a cleaner New Orleans, and what's nice about New Orleans

is it's dirty. It's dirty.
It's interesting. And it's cool.
It's cool. It's the exact same thing.
It's a cleaner New Orleans. Yeah.
And what's nice about New Orleans is it's dirty. It's dirty.
It's interesting. And it's cool.
It's cool. Yeah, it's history.
Yeah, I like New Orleans. Where's a guy like you think about, do you ever think of, you know, a lot of New Yorkers have like a spot in the Garden District and live in New Orleans, but that's too much.
Like occasionally going down. Maybe.
I mean, I just. I just like it maybe to visit.
Too many actors I know have done it. It just feels too...
It's hack now you're saying? It's a certain type of person who's doing it. Yeah.
You know? I just like it. I feel like it is large.
When I lived in Texas, I was like, they don't want us here. And I don't want to be here.
And it's not because they have a culture that I respect and actually like. I like Texans.
I love Texas and I love their culture. And I don't, I feel good visiting and appreciating it.
I don't want to pretend to be it. I, yeah.
What I talk about is like when we have these conversations where people start pretending it's like on the level of global cities is like Paris or Mexico city. Psychotic people.
Yeah. Maybe in a, you know, 400 years, maybe we'll be there.
I like, I just, you know, I like cultures to be their thing. And I like to appreciate, I like to go to Paris and go, man, I appreciate this culture, but I'm not going to go there and put on a beret.
Yeah. We don't need, that's the thing.
We don't need to do that. I think everyone's got, and if you feel genuine, like that is your culture down there, then God bless you.
And I respect you and love. Guys, be ready when she needs it and get your first month of Blue Chew for free.
Great sex is a few clicks away. Sign up at bluechew.com.
Consult with one of their licensed medical providers. And once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.
Blue Chew tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped directly to your door. The best part, it's all done online.
That means no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy.

Blue Chew won't stop

until every man is bricked up like a brick house.

That is the mission.

Make life easier by getting harder

and discovering your options at bluechew.com.

We've got a special deal for our listeners.

Try your first month of Blue Chew free,

F-R-E-E, when you use promo code TD.

Just pay $5 shipping.

That's promo code TD. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information.
We love Blue Chew. We thank them for sponsoring the podcast.
I'm telling you right now, go and do this. It's exciting and fun and this is, I was going to say fun for the whole family.
That it's not. That it is not.
But it is a good thing to have. Blue Chew.
This podcast is brought to you in part by Stash. Saving and investing can feel impossible.
But with Stash, it's a reality. It's easy.
Stash is an interesting investing app. It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with dependable financial strategies to help you reach your goals faster.

They'll provide you with personalized advice on what to invest in based on your goals. Or if you want to just sit back and watch your money go to work, you can opt into their award-winning expert managed portfolio that picks stocks for you.
Stash has helped millions of Americans reach their financial goals and starts at just $3 per month. Don't let your savings sit around.
Make it work harder for you. Go to getstash.com slash T-I-M to see how you can receive $25 towards your first stock purchase and to view your important disclosures.
That's get.stash.com slash Tim. That's get.stash.com slash Tim.
Paid non-client endorsement, not representative of all clients and not a guarantee. Investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor.
Investing involves risk, offers subject to terms and conditions. Here's a really fucking pretentious one.
But sometimes they get it right, these rich motherfuckers. Yeah, a lot of times.
A lot of times. St.
Bart's, have you done the St. Bart's's? I never have.
I've seen you do it. I've never done it.
And listen, I'm like- I'm sure they've gotten it right. And again, I'll tell you, when I experience something, I'm not like on some gatekeeper shit.
Like I love being the guy who has nothing. Not nothing, obviously I have good stuff, but like compared to these billionaire motherfuckers.
Right. I like going to their shit and then just telling everybody about it and then ruining it.
So I like to be a guy that is not, you're like a famous multi-millionaire. I like to be a guy that is nothing.
Compared to them, you have nothing. And just finds myself.
No, I mean like I could, like my family would never be able to go to St. Bart's or something like that.
No, of course. But then look at it, stunning.
Pretty. It's interesting.
So this island, right? It's actually kind of fucked up. But like all the islands in Caribbean had like people there.
Yeah. And here's the one that like miraculously didn't.
Right. I wonder where they went.
Right. Anyway, like Norway owns it or something like that.
Then France gets it. And France just goes, yo, we're going to make south of France on this island.
Right. But there's no indigenous population.
So we don't got to feel bad about like oppressing a group of people who already live here and like eliminating their culture right so they just made south of france on this island so that when it's cold and they can't be in south of france they go there they go there i gotta try it i've never been it's really pretty you would love it also like the people there obviously all like i i'm sure all your fans know this now but like the elites love you. You roast them more than anybody on the planet,

but they fucking love you for some reason.

Maybe it's like a self-loathing or something.

Thank God.

Well, I have no power to do anything to them.

But they love you.

I'm not Lena Khan who's going to antitrust break up their companies.

Like, yeah, let this idiot with sunglasses say whatever he wants.

Every time I go to Polo Bar in New York City,

the whole staff is like, yo, when is Timmy coming in? That's sweet of the staff.

And I keep telling them

that you're going to come and then what happens?

No, I never go. I should

go. I have my weird spots.

I'm a creature of habit and I go to like a few places.

I feel like you'd really like that.

You like a wasp culture.

It's important. It's important we have

people who don't cry

and are stoic and that we need

a little bit of that. Do the Jews in the Northeast want to be wasps? Some of them, but not really.
I think that the wasp culture is the American culture, and people don't like to hear that, but it is very much the American culture of, like, privacy, minding your business. It's not the Irish Catholic culture.
The culture that I come from is like wailing and screaming and crying and singing and fighting and all this. The wasp culture is like stoic, Calvinist, Protestant, like shut up, own your house, keep your shit clean.
Don't be ostentatious. Like don't drive a dumb car like me.
Don't wear these dumb sunglasses. Don't be a monster.
It is very much the American culture. And then it's fun to have these little enclaves that are not that Beverly Hills and this and that, but the wasp culture is the American culture.
And like Tori Birch lives out in Southampton, she's a Jew that has become a wasp. But I feel like Ralph Lauren is another version of this.
He's another one. I feel like almost like we grew up in New York City, and there's a perception that those cultures have molded into one another.
But we also have the loudest and most Jewish people ever in New York. Got it.
Where, where you would say that the wasp would look at that and be like, eh, you're causing a scene. Why are you making a big deal about this? Yeah.
It's just the, the wasp things. There's a few places that they dwell and they're, it's like Nantucket and you know, Cape Cod or whatever.
Yeah, and even there's parts of the Hamptons, like the Southampton Bathing Corp is very waspy, but the rest of Southampton isn't, and the Hamptons has kind of been colonized and taken over, and, you know, there's a little bit in the Berkshires, the wasp culture, but, like, the wasp culture, and there's a little bit, you know, a little bit in Northern California, Santa Barbara, whatever, and there's, you know, a little bit around Georgia, Sea Island, places like that, Palm Beach. Yeah.
But it's dying. It is dying, but I feel like the Jews have embraced it and marketed it better than the wasps ever could.
Yeah, the Jews figured out how to sell it. Yeah, they figured out how to sell it.
And you sell, like, it's amazing what he did. A lot of the WASPs that I talked to Tucker about this became drunks.

And they didn't, and they had these fortunes that they were living off of. And they all went to these elite boarding schools and their parents had fortunes.
Not billion dollar fortunes. Some of them were, but a lot of them were like a lot of money, just enough money to not try hard and not really work.
And a lot of these people just retired to Maine or wherever and just kind of like moved into their summer houses and didn't keep pace with Jewish people and Arabs and the Chinese who now are the big money players. Sorry, Irish.
Not you. Yeah.
So there's just not enough ambition in it, you're saying? Yeah. It's like the old Spanish empire living off the largesse of having gold and stuff.

It's like just not having to innovate and just kind of becoming decrepit. I think part of that is the story of the American wasps.

A lot of them, you know, the government was a lot of wasps at the CIA and Skull and Bones.

And a lot of them went into politics and they went into the machinery of government.

And there are some great fortunes there, but not nearly as many. And none of them are new.
A lot of the new fortunes are, are, are the new IPOs. Yeah.
And a lot of that, that's not wasps. They're in very traditional modes of making money, which is like banking and real estate insurance.
It's kind of boring. They're not as likely to be in tech or any of the, you know, kind of the new money place.
It's weird. Like it's almost like the generational wealth in America, like in other countries, they would just like own sugar.
Right. Like what happened to that in America? Like I thought all the rich people just owned the, what is it called? A commodity.
Most resources in America can be produced cheaply other places. So those families lost their competitive advantage.
Well, they also don't want to pay Americans to do it. So they're like, why are we going to pay Americans to work at these places when we can ship all of this stuff? And that's a lot of what J.D.
Vance and these guys are talking about. Now, how they're, you know, these tariffs, it's a long play to bring back manufacturing.
There's going to be a lot of blood in the water. Yeah.
It's a long play. But the reality is, you know, people that don't have jobs and, you know, because they worked in those sectors of the economy, manufacturing being the primary one that we're talking about, have been, the beneficiaries of very cheap products and goods, but it still hasn't given their lives purpose and meaning they don't have that job.
They, you know, they don't have that community. Those communities got hollowed out.
Those factories got shipped overseas, you know? So I think that like, that's a big reason that, and you're, you're, you're correct to notice that, that like, where is that pride in American ownership or American made stuff? We don't really have it. We just have pride in the result, the money and however it's made.
So it is interesting. I mean, this is a very interesting thing.
That's why if you own assets, if you own real estate or stocks, you've made a lot of money over the past 50 years, because all those gone way up. Yeah.
Bonds, all that. If you're somebody who makes money on the W-2, if you're a wage employee, you're not really, you haven't seen your wages increase.
Yeah. So, and things have gotten more expensive.
So you're getting fucked, but the people that own stuff aren't. So I think that's the challenge is to try to balance that out.
Tell me about Steve Bannon. Very interesting guy.
He was a rich guy. Made a lot of money.
He's like Bernie Sanders in a sense. They've been saying the same thing for 30 years.
Whether you like him or hate him. Does he want to help? Does he want to just cause a ruckus?uckus no i think he wants to help i think that i wouldn't agree with him on all down the line everything but i think he understands overall the idea that we've created a situation with china that seems untenable meaning that we've put ourselves in this position with Taiwan,

with these chips,

where we are vulnerable in ways that people don't imagine we are.

And I think he's recognized that outsourcing all of our manufacturing,

having 90% of our antibiotics made over there and things like that have made us vulnerable in ways that people don't think we are. And, you know, and this idea, the tradeoff of like, hey, but the shirts are cheap at Walmart.
Isn't a tradeoff that makes sense to him? And it would make sense to other people. There's smart people on the other side that says, no, it is better.
And here why. We have a service sector, go be a bartender or something.
I don't know. Steve Bannon's whole point is when you take the manufacturing core out of the country and you replace it with a gig economy of people driving Ubers and DoorDash and Lyft, all of those people are going to need some form of government assistance because they, their lives are, have been kind of immiserated by these conditions of like not being able to have a steady income at a job.
And I think he says, you know, he goes, that is a big problem. Now, the people that make a lot of money from importing people to come into America to cut grass and do nails

and babysit your kids and tutor your kids

and the tech guys who like to bring these visas,

there's indentured servants,

and you put five guys in a room and go, just code?

I don't want to pay America?

Steve Bannon, who everyone calls a racist,

was the only person I've ever said,

I've never heard anyone say there should be more black and Hispanic people in tech, and it's a crime that there's not. That's a Steve Bannon quote.
That's a Steve Bannon quote. So is America first from Bannon? Is he the...
I think so. I think he's the one.
I think he's the guy that put that political philosophy into perspective in a very eloquent way. There's very few people that have done it the way he's done it.
How does he feel about the current administration? He's very skeptical as I am about a lot of the tech people. He thinks they're using Trump.
He thinks they were Democrats till about five minutes ago. It seems like they were.
And then they all became Republicans and they all have tons of money. He likens them to oligarchs.
I think he's absolutely right. And a lot of them want to, you know, go to Mars or put chips in people.
A lot of them are transhumanists and, you know, their goals are pretty radical when measured against what American people are talking about right now, which is like better wages or healthcare or whatever the case may be. A lot of people are not super invested in going to Mars.
So I think Bannon thinks they're laundering their, what they want, the Bezos, Andreessen, Musk, Zuckerberg people are laundering their true intentions through this America first thing. And now they're all like, Hey, I like bow hunting and I think we should be less woke or whatever.
But Bannon's like, no, the end game for these guys is to just suck money out of the government the way the big financial institutions did in 2008 when they put a gun to the head of George W. Bush and said, we need trillions of dollars or this whole market collapses.
He thinks that that moment is coming where the tech people go, we need a Marshall Plan. We need all of this tax revenue so that we can go compete with China with AI because the deep seek thing came out.
And if it is to be believed that that is true, we are behind in AI. We are losing to them with TikTok.
They have a much more addictive algorithm. The biggest app in the last five years, the Chinese app.
So we're losing to them. So he thinks that tech people are going to go and put a gun to Trump's head and go, we need trillions of dollars now.
And that is going to be financed by the taxpayers. This podcast is brought to you in part by Stash.
Saving and investing can feel impossible, but with Stash, it's a reality. It's easy.
Stash is interested in investing app. It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with dependable financial strategies to help you reach your goals faster.
They'll provide you with personalized advice on what to invest in based on your goals. Or if you want to just sit back and watch your money go to work, you can opt into their award-winning expert-managed portfolio that picks stocks for you.
Stash has helped millions of Americans reach their financial goals and starts at just $3 per month. Don't let your savings sit around.

Make it work harder for you.

Go to getstash.com slash TIM

to see how you can receive $25

towards your first stock purchase

and to view your important disclosures.

That's get.stash.com slash TIM.

That's get.stash.com slash TIM.

Paid non-client endorsement,

not representative of all clients

and not a guarantee.

Investment advisory services

offered by Stash Investments, LLC.

See,

I don't know. That's get.stash.com.
Paid non-client endorsement, not representative of all clients, and not a guarantee. Investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments, LLC, an SEC-registered investment advisor.
Investing involves risk, offers subject to terms and conditions. If the tech CEOs say we need trillions of dollars, is their goal benevolent in that they want to beat China in this AI race, or is that a Trojan horse so they could just funnel that money? It's a little bit of bulk.
I think they do want to be competitive, but they're also, they've become the wealthiest people that have ever lived. They're probably going to be trillionaires very soon.
And the country is suffering from a tremendous amount of wealth inequality.

Yeah.

And that's driving people to political extremism,

to fentanyl addiction, to our cities.

A lot of them are unlivable.

These are problems.

And I think Bannon recognizes that you can't have, you know,

five trillionaires deciding the fate of humanity.

They also want to merge with AI.

They want to get rid of human beings.

They want to put chips in us that will significantly alter your humanity so that you can compete with AI. They want the end of the human race.
I mean, that's truly what they want. They don't really even disguise that.
So Bannon's a devout Catholic. I'd probably disagree with him on a few things.
Some I wouldn't, but I do think that he's very interested in the, in human beings staying human. And so do you think he's been given a, an unfair shake by media? For sure.
I mean, listen, I think, I think everyone will always be right. I don't even think it's worth even noting.
I mean, listen, everyone is going to be given an unfair shake. I give people an unfair shake.
It's what the job of any of us to do. Because a fair shake would be like, oh, I'm your friend.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Because we're all human beings and contain multitudes or whatever.
I give Gavin Newsom an unfair shake. Right.
I just know that the fucking beach, I like to go to the beach. It's all fucking burn.
Yeah. So I think we all give each other an unfair shake.
He's talking about issues no one's really talking about that are the most interesting things, which is the future of human beings. And everyone's avoiding that.
In five years, when you, you know,

I'm literally taking what he said verbatim,

but when people go, there's only so many openings at Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth, whatever.

And do you give your kid the chip

and give them the advantage?

And these are really interesting questions.

And do you chip, you know, maybe not yourself.

Maybe he goes, I'm going to ride this out as a human being,

but fuck it, my kids are going to have

the competitive advantage.

I mean, they're already kind of doing that with Adderall or whatever. All of that.
I mean, it is a massive advantage. Yeah.
Have you ever taken Adderall? Yeah, yeah. Like, as an adult, I never took it when I was younger and struggling to pay attention while taking the fucking SATs and doing the reading section.
It's a huge advantage. So that's the question that I think the big questions that are coming up now.
Where do we go? The most interesting thing right now, it's not Russia, the Ukraine. It's not Israel, Palestine.
It is and always has been China. This will be the most interesting.
Do you believe the deep seek? I don't know. I don't know enough about it.
I know very smart people. Some of them believe that it's exaggerated didn't they open source it didn't they come out and say hey look at your jelly yeah some of them believe it's slightly exaggerated and some of them believe no it's a it's a sputnik moment like it's a real thing that is we are we are way behind and i don't i don't know enough for us to create the chips here it might be a a pretty stupid question, but like.
Supposedly, from what I understand, it's half art, half technology. You've got to have a highly specialized training to do it.
And again, everybody here wants to put their pussy on the street and be famous and be, you know. It's the, you know, I mean, I think that it's just we haven't steered people into that.
But there must be some sort of hardware that they have in Taiwan that they haven't been able to replicate here. Some of it, but I mean, it would just be, it's the same kind of question where it's like, could they set up Wall Street in another city? Of course.
But it's just been Wall Street forever. It's like there's more that goes into it than people realize, right? Like, I think it's part cultural.
It's part economic. It's part, you know, there's all kinds of things that go into the development of any industry.
Could you move it to another place? Absolutely. Is Austin going to be Hollywood? Absolutely not.
Hollywood will either not exist, but it will never be that. Yes.
Will a few comedians get really, really big? Absolutely, and that's great. You cannot transfer an entire- The movie business will just die.
It's not going to Texas. Yeah.
Renee Zellweger. Yeah.
Doesn't mean that Texas is a bad place. It means that- They'll make some films that are like they make them in Atlanta.
Yeah, it's great. But it's not going to be an entire city that is revolving around the industry of film.
Yeah, it's not- And then maybe there'll never be another city that revolves around it again. But it won't be that.

You can't pick up an entire industry

and just airdrop it into Bastrop, Texas

and go, good luck.

It's not the way it works.

Culture develops over a very long time.

You know what I mean?

And I think that that's the whole thing.

And I think that the China US collision course

is the most interesting.

And you think it's all going to be AI based?

I think it's going to be fighting for tech supremacy.

I think it's going to be satellite supremacy,

fighting for the supremacy of satellites.

I think we're blowing our satellites

out of the fucking air.

I think we're blowing theirs out.

I think they're blowing ours out.

I think some of those drones were them. I have good sources on some of those drones being them.
Not all of them. Some of them being them.
They did the hot air balloons or whatever. They did the spy balloons.
Of course. I think some of those drones were them.
I think they are incredibly capable. And I think so are we.
The good news is so are we. We've got our version of the Spy Balloons.
We've got our version of the Spy Balloons. We just don't have an ability to influence culture over there like they do here.
They shut it down. Yeah, I guess intelligently so.
And they also shut down the tech guys, I feel. But they weirdly need us so it's interesting.
There's a dependency on our consumption. Yeah.
But there's also our dependency on their creation. We're all in this bed together.
Which is kind of good. So why do we keep acting like there's a war impending if we both need each other? Because there probably is.
Like you actually think hot war? No. I believe China feels that if they've fired a shot, and Bannon talks about this, that they will have lost.
They believe in insidious methods of warfare, infiltrating societies, corporate espionage. It's far more effective.
Far more effective. That could also mean outages and electromagnetic pulse attacks, things that are hard to trace to them, things that will just make society more chaotic.
But I feel like you can even do that more effectively and subversively through the social media stuff. All of that, yeah.
Like owning, like I never thought about how powerful like our social media is in disseminating like sexy, sugary American culture throughout the world. Sure.
And now that like China, let's assume China has control of the algorithm and they can like feed different communities what they need to feed. You can sow more civil unrest, you know.
Like to me, that's way more effective than a power outage. Just get people in America hating America.
Well, they're absolutely doing that. And I think they'll also look at attempts to hack a grid or whatever.
And I think they're also looking at corporate espionage. And they're also, I mean, I think it's all over the place.
Okay, so what about this idea? Every American is born, the government puts $10,000, $2,000, whatever the fuck it is, in the S&P 500 for them. So basically open up a Vanguard account.
Yeah. Right.
So now every single American born is immediately invested and they can't take it out until they're 22 or something like that. It's immediately invested in the success of American industry.
Right. So now those like CEOs that are making all that money and that you're furious at, and you hate that they're taking money from the regular people.
Now you actually almost rooting for them because the better those companies do, the better your portfolio does. Now you're invested in the success of America.
Yeah. I don't hate the idea of people getting some of that.
I just want people to be invested in the success. You might means test it.
You might means test it. What does that mean? Meaning like there's a lot of people who don't need that two grand.
Even better, like do it for the people who are less fortunate, obviously. But like to me, the most important thing is this huge swath of people that have kind of been forgotten about post the financial crisis.
The question is what would two grand do in that span of time? Or 10 grand. And by the way, I'm not against that idea at all.
Compound interest. I think the average American, myself included, I'm financially illiterate.
I didn't know what compound interest was in the effect. I just had money sitting in a bank account when I'd come back from a funny bone every weekend.
I didn't know what to do with it. I think that's a good...
You were smart. You knew real estate.
So the second you made money, you were able to... I was just in that business.
I wasn't smart. But it was just, it felt like a good place to have money.
Not even multiply it ridiculously. Just have it.
And then it could go up. But it's not.
Crypto and all that shit is a way to make real money quick. I actually think what crypto is on some level is Americans who feel like they've missed out on massive stock gains.
Trying to find a way to get that incredible success that they see all these other people get.

Some of them are having it.

And they are.

Some of them are having it.

It's more accessible than opening up a Vanguard account.

I think that's a good idea.

I think investing people, I agree with you.

I think giving whatever it is, whatever amount of money that is, I don't hate that idea.

It doesn't have to be giving, but how do you- Well, it would be giving. You wouldn't want it back.
That's where I would go with it. Say again? You wouldn't want it back.
Yeah, 100%. It's giving.
But I don't know. I just feel like— It's a good idea.
You want patriotism. You want people to love the country.
Get them invested in the success of the country. If they feel left behind, of course they're going to be resentful when these CEOs are making $50 million a year bonuses.
I think people just, I agree. I think people just want a reasonable shot at a good life.
And I think that's gotten too difficult. And I think that you should do that.
I think CEO pay is only, it bothers people in the sense that they see themselves and their families falling behind. Yeah.
So there's a way to make, you know, people, you know, more secure. I, I, I don't think they're worrying about what a CEO is making, unless it's so egregious or whatever the case may be.

I think the problem we play,

we play a game in the financial markets where it's like,

people bet their company's going to fail.

They make money off that.

Like there's all these,

this secondary market where you could play a lot of games.

It's gambling.

It's not investing.

It's gambling.

It's just,

it's divorced from value.

And I think a lot of people are going,

hey man,

I teach your kid or I put your,

Thank you. It's gambling.
It's not investing. It's gambling.
It's just, it's divorced from value. And I think a lot of people are going, hey, man, I teach your kid.

Or I put your son or daughter in an ambulance if they're on the road.

I should be able to live.

Yeah.

Because what you're doing, which is, you know, playing games on Wall Street or whatever.

It has, you know, whatever.

But it's like, I'm putting your kid in an ambulance.

Yeah.

I'm doing something more important.

In their mind. Yeah.
In their mind. To me, no.
Of course not. I think it's, no.
But I think it's like, it's some kind of importance. It's some kind of importance.
What do you want out of the next? You're incredibly successful. I mean, where do you go from here? Isn't it a scary place to be? No.
You've sold out arenas all over the world. There's nothing left to do.
There's no place for you to go. What do you do now? You're at the pinnacle.
Just be a dad. Is it not a terrifying place to be? No.
Just be a dad. Aren't you not terrified? No.
This doesn't scare you? No. Aren't the worst things in the world not getting what you want and getting it? That's a line from the movie Limitless.
I'm like, I don't know.

I'm not like, I don't have the same bottomless pit

that like some people have.

Oh, we got a lot of bottomless pits.

Yeah.

Oh, there's pits that have no bottom.

And you just listen to these people complain.

It's like, what are you complaining?

You're fucking, dude, you did everything.

Like I had specific things I wanted to do.

So like after doing them, I feel really good. And anything after that, I'm like, oh my God, this is gravy.
I got a kid. I want to spend as much time as I can with a kid.
I don't want to abandon the kid. I don't want to be on the road all the fucking time.
Of course not. And then any other creative endeavors I come up with, I just want to try to make really cool shit.
But I need to live a little bit. I can't be on the road all the fucking time yeah you end up doing like an impression of your act if you just never stop at least i well you're also you're a dad now you want to be a human being a little bit and just and they have more stuff to talk about and that's very interesting yeah i think that will make the best like i think this not i'm not trying to like plug but i think this thing that i made was the best thing i made because it was actually something that really impacted me and it was very important to me.
For sure. And I put a lot of time into it.
And I wasn't like, oh, I need a new hour so I can make money. Right.
It was something you wanted to do. I really was excited to do it.
That's right. I wanted to do it.
So hopefully I take a little time off and maybe there's another thing I'm like really excited to do. And that is actually also the way Hamas feels.

Yeah.

That's the,

I don't,

I think they love it.

I think they do it because they love it.

Andrew Schultz,

the life special on Netflix.

Go watch it.

It is great.

It is different.

It is awesome.

And,

uh,

he'll be on the road again.

He'll be out there.

You'll see him go to the polo bar and catch him.

Bye.

Bye.

This is the Bible. and he'll be on the road again.
He'll be out there. You'll see him.
Go to the polo bar and catch him. Bye.
Bye. This podcast is brought to you in part by Stash.
Saving and investing can feel impossible, but with Stash, it's a reality. It's easy.
Stash is interested in investing app. It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with dependable financial strategies to help you reach your goals faster.
They'll provide you with personalized advice on what to invest in based on your goals. Or if you want to just sit back and watch your money go to work, you can opt into their award-winning expert managed portfolio that picks stocks for you.
Stash has helped millions of Americans reach their financial goals and starts at just $3 per month. Don't let your savings sit around, make it work harder for you.
Go to getstash.com slash TIM to see how you can receive $25 towards your first stock purchase and to view your important disclosures. That's get.stash.com slash TIM.
That's get.stash.com slash TIM. Paid non-client endorsement, not representative of all clients, and not a guarantee.
Investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments, LLC, an SEC-registered investment advisor.

Investing involves risk, offers subject to terms and conditions.