
425 - Bad Friends
American Royalty Tour
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Full Transcript
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, the host of the Bad Friends podcast.
Thank you for coming. I can't see because of all the fog.
I know. I mean, it's too, it's too, it's steamed up.
It's fogged up.
Optimus Prime's sunglasses.
I got these in Las Vegas.
People said they were good.
Which people?
The guy at the store, the black guy in the booth.
You said.
And a lot of Asians.
There was an Asian in the store.
Let me tell you something about Asians.
Yes.
Okay.
Let me tell you something about Asians.
He knows a lot about Asians. Yeah.
But I'm going to tell you something about it because I am one. Yeah.
If you don't know, my friend. I do.
Okay. It depends on what kind.
That's right. Interesting.
That's right. Which kind told you? What kind of Asian told you? I don't know.
Baggy pants? Big belt? A lot of zippers? That's the right kind. That's the right kind.
That's what I thought. That was the right kind.
That is true. That's what I thought.
Because I thought you were going to do the machete one with the brown shorts that are all cut up.
No.
No shoes.
Those, they don't know nothing.
Those ones, I'm.
You know what I mean?
If you want to make a trail in Vietnam, I'm not saying that that's the kind.
No, for sure.
No, these were fashionable ones in Vegas with like big coats on.
This is Balenciaga. Oh, those are good ones.
You ever see those ones with like a huge coat? Sure. Like it's like the Nutcracker where they could open it and there'd be others.
Like it's that type of coat. This is Balenciaga? These are Balenciaga, but they're not really.
What's the price point on these things? It's $1,600. Yeah.
It's silly. How much do you get paid a month for this show? $70,000.
No way, dude. He gets paid a lot.
He gets paid six figures. Not a month, but a year.
Good for you, dude. Do you get Balenciaga sunglasses? No, but I bought them sneakers.
Yeah. You got sneakers.
Good ones. Nice ones.
Golden Goose? Not Golden Goose. We got, they're Nikes.
But nice Nikes. I don't know.
We don't start with Golden Goose here. What is he, Nikki Glaser? We're giving him Golden Goose? What do you think about the Golden Globes? She's going to kill it.
I think so. She's done it 108 times.
I've seen it a bunch, and she's killing it. Literally 108.
Bro, her work ethic, dude. It's stupid.
Yeah. She's got Asian work ethic.
She has Tiger Mom work ethic. She really does.
I'm going to take these. And she would do like three or four sets a night.
Five. Sometimes she does five.
Absurd. You would never.
We would never. I would never do that.
I would do it three times, and then I would say, I don't want to hate the jokes, so I'm going to stop trying. Well, if you do it too many times, you can't blame the writers.
At some point, you can't blame the writers. Oh, interesting.
So if you do it little, you can blame the writers. I like that.
Right. You do it less, you blame them.
You do it more, it's you. You did it.
Right. We saw her do it.
We did Ice House Store. She went to the improv, the factory.
I've seen her in every room doing it. It's unbelievable.
I want to apologize about the machete trails thing earlier. No, of course.
But everyone knew what you meant. I didn't know.
I didn't mean anything, but I was, I had two hours of sleep. Yes.
And when I, in retrospect, I go, no, everyone, everyone would know. All Asians would know about your glasses.
No, no, no. And we, I didn't, when you said machete, I didn't even think you meant a real machete.
I thought you meant like a figure of speech. Just describing a certain type of personality.
When you go to Vegas, do you gamble too or no? Yeah, Baccarat. You are Asian.
I play Baccarat. That's Asian game.
Mahjong? You Mahjong? I don't do that. I do Baccarat.
Baccarat is the best odds in the casino
because it's 50-50
and it's a fun
game. You do banker always or player?
Always banker. Always banker.
I always bet
banker. Me too.
Baccarat.
I like it. It's fun.
And it's a game you
can sit for an hour or two and have fun
and you're up a few and down a few.
Bobby doesn't gamble. But you know what's
fun? Well, you gamble in life, I guess. Less so than on a table.
No gambling at all? That's right. Can't.
I have. I'm just not good at it.
But you're also an addict. You can't get trapped.
Yeah, I can't get trapped. So much money.
I'm an addict too, but I'm confident I won't get addicted to Baccarat. That's the greatest last word.
That's one thing I go, if I do get addicted to Baccarat, like that's how it should end. Well, you hear those rumors.
You hear those rumors of comics,
and I'm not speaking ill of the dead because he's the best,
but I heard stories that Norm would make them give him a check
to the casino to play out.
Wow.
You know, like instead of like pay me, just pay me in chips or whatever.
Pay me in chips.
I don't know if that's a true story, but I love the idea that he was like,
just put it downstairs.
Do you remember my Dice story?
No.
What?
I was working the back door in the late 90s.
Okay?
The late 90s?
The late 90s, man.
What's so funny, guy?
It's all right.
That's just the late 90s.
I didn't know if that was like a period of time, like a dimension we couldn't access
as white people.
I was like, oh, the late 90s.
The late 90s.
So I'm working the back door.
I don't know Dice at all.
He comes up to me and he goes, hey, Ching.
That's what he used to call me.
Really?
But not in a racist way.
No, no, not at all.
It was Cha-Ching.
Cha-Ching.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, it's not racist.
Cha-Ching.
Money guy.
Money guy.
Gotcha.
He goes, hey, Ching.
I go, Bobby, Ching.
And then he goes, we're going.
I go, going where?
He goes, to Vegas.
He went to the management and goes, I'm taking the little Chinese guy.
He didn't know I was Korean.
Right.
Thank you. we're going.
I go, going where? He goes, to Vegas. He went to the management and goes, I'm taking the little Chinese guy.
He didn't know I was Korean. Right.
To Vegas right now. So I literally, no toothbrush, no clothes.
No problem. I literally get on a plane with him.
He goes, you're good luck. He lost $850,000 in 12 hours.
And then when we got back, he didn't talk to me for three years. Of course.
Yeah, well. It was a nightmare.
Was that your fault? I think so. I think I gave him bad energy there.
Yeah. And there was the first time where I go, oh, stars can do anything.
Because we were at the gate at LAX. Yeah.
And he just lit up a cigarette. Oh, yeah.
At the gate. Yeah.
And I go, you can do that? He goes, I can. And he's just started smoking.
And then they said, put it out. And he just threw it and put it out.
That's amazing. That day is gone, by the way.
That day is gone. And you'll see that in the Golden Globes tonight, I'm sure.
Those days are dead. You don't have the power you used to have.
Yeah, but we gotta get back. Nah.
Like Public Enemy said. No, no, no.
Well, that's not what they were talking about. They didn't mean that.
They weren't talking about that? They didn't mean that. I don't really know their lyrics, but...
What do they mean then? Teach me. Well, I think they meant more power to the people.
I don't think they were talking about Jennifer Aniston. It was my guess.
You don't think they were fighting for the Hollywood elites to get power back? It was my guess they weren't referring to Tilda Swinton. Okay, so Tim, let me ask you a question, friend.
Okay. Sure.
And I want your little advice, my friend. Yeah, please.
Okay? Yeah. I'm with the date.
Yeah. We go to fucking Boiling Crab.
Why do you like that place so much? In Hollywood, Boiling Crab? No, we went to one in Northridge. He loves that.
He loves love crabs boiled. He loves boiled crab.
Okay, and that's just my thing. So anyway, so the one in Hawaii, Tim, okay, for years, I've been doing selfies there.
You've seen my selfies. Yeah, yeah.
I know, they owe you money. They owe me money.
Then, the corporate, right, would text me back, like, DM me back and go, thank you for publicizing. I take a date to the fucking Northern.
Everyone in the fucking lobby. That's look good.
Everyone in the lobby recognizes me, right? Yeah. Okay.
Staff, I still had to wait an hour and a half. That's not right.
Be honest. No, that's not right.
I take the power back. Well, the reality is you need a contact at the restaurant.
He doesn't get in like that. I don't get in that way.
He walks in and he wants them to go, Bobby Lee. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, say, I'll wait 45 minutes, because then you're just saying, I'll wait an hour and a half.
It's the same thing. It's the same thing.
You need to contact the restaurant where you have a table when you walk in. Ah, fucked up.
It's a whole thing. He doesn't create these relationships.
It's kind of what I like, but we will walk into places together on the road, and his energy immediately gets us where we need to go. It's a pure energy that you don't even know anything about, and I'm going to tell you something else, my friend.
Learn, Tim. This is for you to learn.
I'm going to teach you some shit right now, dude. Thank you.
In Idaho, remember we were in Idaho or whatever? Yeah. We had a guy call a fancy restaurant.
And then not only did they say no, they go, we don't even want these guys in the building. That's right.
Really? They were not interested. They were so fucking rude.
What's that place called? I don't remember. I want to rip them apart.
Why do you think that is? He's only got a brand of humor. They're more Bargatze people, I guess.
They were Nate fans. They had a banner of him in the front lobby.
But it's odd that they would ban you from the restaurant. They didn't care to host us is what they said.
They didn't care. Wow.
That's fine. At least we know where we stand with these people.
That's interesting. Then there's places we go that are very, we call and say, hey, the show gets out late.
They suck our dicks. Is there any way we can pay you to keep it open because we'll bring a crew of people? There are restaurants where I'm treated nice.
Yeah. And allowed in.
We're in LA. We're in LA.
You're treated nice. I know.
I know his spots. Nobu Malibu, they're good to me usually.
But occasionally, sometimes they can't be. Ocean Prime loves you.
Ocean Prime loves me. He's VIP there.
I love an Ocean Prime. I've never been to Ocean Prime.
You go with this guy. You treat me like a royalty.
You never take me to Ocean Prime. Well, because I go there, and you know who's sitting next to me? At the table next to me is Latoya Jackson.
If you want to live that life, you come with me. You want to eat shrimp cocktail with me and Latoya Jackson? Because that's what's left.
Everything's all Hollywood stars. Here's what's left.
Latoya. Latoya Jackson and myself eating shellfish in the afternoon.
That's what it's here now. How about bringing the tour buses around? Let's bring them around and they can see it.
So Ocean Prime, Nobu Malibu, what else, Fred? Ulsteria Moza, Nancy Silverton's joint on Melrose and Highland. That's a good one.
The Fountain Room at the Beverly Hills Hotel, that little diner. Polo Lounge.
That That's great. Polo lounge.
Yeah, that's a good one. He's exclusive at every place that people- But there's some places he probably doesn't get treated well, though.
Of course. Well- I bet you buffets.
No, it's- Like, sure. But they don't- What buffet in LA would not have that? It wasn't a fat thing.
It was just- What was it? If it wasn't- It came out fat. It came out fat, but it was more like, I just assumed.
But wouldn't they, don't they want the fat people at the buffets? No. No, they do though.
No, they want me there because I'm not going to eat that much. But they know you're not going.
That's right. They've made peace with it.
They've made peace with it. I'm sorry about that.
Bobby's got a confidence now that I'm in love with because the Ozemp, whatever it's called, Wigovi, has kicked in. He's lost a significant amount of weight.
His confidence is through the roof. The dating pool has expanded.
He's got this vibe to him of like a kind of, he's a little bit into like a high school bully again. He's got the swagger of a high school bully.
You want me to put you in a locker? See? That's good. He'll do it.
I'll put you in a locker and put your wedgie on your face. If there's a locker nearby, he will throw someone in.
I like that. I like the idea of that of you kind of embracing kind of that tough guy image.
Tough guy. I'm a bully, bro.
Yeah. You're just starting fights.
Yeah. Like, I would pick you up upside down, stick your head in the toilet, but you're too fat.
Okay. All right.
Yeah. I mean, that's uncalled for.
That's not me. That was my bad.
It's uncalled for. I crossed the line again.
I don't like that. I crossed the line.
What medication makes that okay? That's not. There's no way that Novo.
That was my bad. Sorry.
Yeah. That was my bad.
I love you. Somebody better sue that company from the Netherlands.
What is it? Novo Nordisk? Nord's a side effect of Wigowi. Yeah, it's a side effect.
I'm sorry. You get delusions of grandeur.
A side effect of Wigowi is just abusing people in the streets. Wigowi does have, he did have some bad side effects on the first one.
Yeah. Ozempic.
He threw up for like four days straight. Oh my God, it was gnarly.
It was unbelievable. We have footage of it.
It's like the shot. We're doing a promo.
You have footage of the vomiting. We were shooting a promo.
For us. Epic.
For a tour. And legitimately, he threw up for like an entire like 30 to 40 seconds straight.
48 hours of constant vomiting. It was wild to watch.
Interesting. It's cool to see it go to work.
I'll tell you what happened. Can I tell you what happened to that guy? It's like Santa Clarita Diet where she becomes a zombie.
He's close. The first 48 hours, she just vomits.
Underrated show, by the way. It was a great show.
I loved it. It was a great show.
You didn't watch it. Yeah.
I saw Squid Game 2. You know what we both watched together that we liked that we want to talk about? Yeah.
We both separately went to the theater to go watch- Let's talk about it. Bob Dylan, A Complete Unknown.
I'm sorry. How was it? Yeah, A Complete Unknown.
A Complete Unknown. Honestly? Yeah, go first.
I'll go to the second. Huge crush on that kid.
Everyone's saying that it's a great movie. He's fantastic.
She's good. Monica Barbero.
Monica. Joan Baez.
Monica Barber. Is that her name? Yeah.
She's fantastic. The movie's great.
It's just, you just give the kid credit because he did it. I can't believe he did it.
He did it. I worked with Monica Barbaro on a sitcom.
Well, why wouldn't he do it, though? What? Splitting up together? Yeah, she was on Splitting Up Together. And even then I knew, oh, I'm never going to see this person again.
Now, here's why. Because she was just good.
No, because she got Maverick while we were shooting. Right.
Here's why. Here's why he should have done it.
I've never had that experience with anyone I've been on set with. Everyone I'm on set with, I go, I will see them again, probably at the improv.
Like, I know it's going down. Everyone I've done a film with, I'm like, it's going bad for them.
And it's going to get so bad where they start calling me and asking me questions. I have a reversal of that.
I have one that she was a, not even a regular. She was kind of like was trying to make her a regular.
They kind of lied to her. And she didn't have a lot of airtime on, I did that I'm Dying Up Here show.
And afterwards, she fucking exploded. She's on that Ginny in Georgia show.
Brianne Howey is her name. Huge.
Dude. So she's huge.
She was a waitress on our show, barely featured. And by the way, she's great.
She's fantastic. She just did Ginny and Georgia.
She's great in that. She's so good.
And she just did that new Schumer thing. She's so good.
But that's a story where you're like, wow, she flipped the. She was so downtrotting from the show, not putting her on the air.
And then afterwards, I thought, I wonder how she's doing. And, you know, 80 million followers on Instagram.
Sometimes it just turns. It flipped fast.
It flipped. We're waiting for that flip.
I think Gaga's flipped with Joker. I think it's done.
Yeah, it's over. I believe it's over.
She went the other way. I believe she went the other way.
If you're on set with me, it's over. That's not true.
I know that. Tim, Tim, Tim.
Who else were you on camera with that could fall, potentially? I think Joaquin will survive. Maybe.
I think Brendan Gleeson's out. I think he's back to Ireland.
That's Ireland. Sorry, love him, but I think we've had enough of that.
That folksy kind of like, Artur, sing a song for us next. And I think Gaga's done.
I want to say something. Number two, okay? Number one, I know people that like that movie.
The Joker? Whoa. Yeah, yeah.
Cool. It could be one of those movies, it might stand the test of time.
And ten years from now it could be genius. No.
That's not how it works. By the way, thank you.
Oh yeah, and also I want to say something about a complete unknown because I didn't say my opinion. Yeah, please.
What do you mean? Say it. We want to hear it.
He looks good. He looks real good.
Okay, so first of all, Monica Barbera was also a guest star on Spilling Up Together. She wasn't a regular.
And now look at her. She's killing it.
And number two, let me tell you about a complete unknown. Yeah.
Okay? I didn't want to go. My friend Gene wanted to go.
Yeah. We sat in the theater.
I'm a huge Bob Dylan fan. Always have Bob Dylan fan Always have been As soon as you see him on screen You go Oh this is going to be good It's Bob Dylan He does it He kills it That's what I've heard Better than Rami Malachi He did great as Queen Austin Butler Great Elvis I liked it I've heard.
Better than Rami Malachi. He did great as Queen, right? Two completely different things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Austin Butler,
great Elvis, right?
I liked it, I liked it, I liked it, I liked it, I liked it. I'll tell you, good breath.
This dude kills it.
We went to Graceland.
Yeah. This felt real good.
We went to Graceland.
The woman giving us a tour
was shocked because teenage kids were there,
high school kids, college kids.
Yeah, what are they doing? But they're looking at us
and they're like... No, you were the only one there.
Me and the crew. He was sleeping.
but they were like bad friends
bad friends
the woman
Thank you. high school kids, college kids.
Yeah, like, what are they doing? But they're looking at us and they're like... No, you were the only one there.
Me and the crew. He was sleeping.
But they were like, bad friends, bad friends. The woman gives us the tour goes, I'm sorry, I don't know who you are.
And I was like, oh, we just do a podcast. And she goes, you know, that's weird.
People know you here. I had Austin Butler here.
Not one person recognized him or said hello. And that felt...
Andrew Santino's bigger than Austin Butler. That's right.
I'll say it. It felt good.
I'll say it. That felt so good.
It felt good. Yeah, it felt real nice.
Yeah. They've closed off...
We're recording this the day they're doing the Golden Globes. They've closed off, like, I don't know, 17 blocks.
It feels excessive. It's too many.
It feels excessive. I said to the cops, I go, is this a prime terrorist threat? Is this...
If you want to hurt America, do you bomb the Golden Globes? Yeah, well, that's actually...
Do you know what I mean?
That's an international...
No, you can do the Academy Awards.
Yeah, I mean, I just don't think the Golden Globes are a real threat.
No, look at all the street closures.
I mean, it's crazy.
They want to shut the whole city down.
Wow.
The whole thing is insane.
But this is...
Because the comics have done that gig.
It's a tough gig, right? Koi had a tough time. And it's a weird gig.
It depends how you see it. Yeah, but that's different.
Joe got that gig within a month of it airing. Right.
No, no, no. I'm not even blaming him.
I would never want to. It's like the worst gig ever.
It's a weird. Would you take it? I wouldn't.
Would you take it? They would never ask. They would never ask me.
Hypothetically. No, because it's not.
is that they would. Yeah.
But I wouldn't belong. No, I don't.
I don't think it would make sense for me to do it. Why would we? I would do billboards if that was still around.
I would. There's things.
The billboard award? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Maybe.
I don't know. I would do.
People's Choice. Did they do.
Does the Apollo have award ceremony? I would love that. I would love Soul Train Awards.
Soul Train Awards. There was a skirmish at one of them recently.
It was kind of a melee.
By the way,
the best white word
about an all-black fight
is a skirmish.
A skirmish.
There's a skirmish out there
happening.
It's a melee.
Something happened.
That was like,
this is my buddy
who was on the train
in Chicago
and he hears these two dudes
are on the subway
and the one guy's like,
hey, yo!
And he recognizes his friend.
He goes,
oh, what's up, man?
He goes, whatever happened to Charles? Or whatever the guy's name was. He goes, whatever happened to Charles? He goes, oh, man, Charles is dead, man.
And the guy goes, oh, shit, what happened? And real calmly, he goes, it was a dispute. Wow.
Validated. And he asked as if it was like, oh, yeah, it was no big deal.
Hosting 2025 Golden Globes, Joe Coy bombing and roasting emilia perez i don't even know what i was watching what is that she's commenting about it yeah that's her quote about it's so unfair well why but why would she comment about joe's performance prior is that's her quote i don't know if that's her quote oh no but it does say i don't even know what i was watching i think look learning from joe coy bombing and roasting Amelia Perez. See, I wouldn't, that's the thing, I don't even know what I was watching.
I think, look, learning from Joe Coy bombing and roasting Emilia Perez.
See, I wouldn't, that's the thing.
I don't want to do the, I wouldn't want to do this shit because I don't,
we have no business in that business.
I have no business there.
Well, that's the thing is like the same thing with the politicians.
If they were giving awards out at Mar-a-Lago.
Oh, you were there.
And they wanted to host.
You.
Let's, this is, this makes sense. Yeah.
The Golden Globes, not so much. And they wanted to host.
You. This makes sense.
Yeah.
The Golden Globes, not so much.
What could me and Bob host?
Genuinely, what public event?
I think a very fun tech awards.
Tech awards would be fun.
Or Pep Boys.
Yeah.
Pep Boys, if they had an award.
Yeah.
They stopped doing it.
Yeah, yeah.
AutoZone's got a whole new.
Yeah, yeah, something like that.
I hosted the Asian Excellence Awards twice.
That's pretty cool. It's so funny to me, dude.
Where do they have that? At Din Tai Fung in the mall. Where does the Asian Excellence Awards happen? Hey, man, fuck you, man.
Mr. Chow's.
Outside of Mr. Chow's on Beverly.
And is it Awkwafina? No, no, stop. It's Ken.
It was at the Wiltern. Is that good enough? Well, that's good.
Okay, can I also say something else, dude? Yes. You think it was just a bunch of Asians? Yeah.
Yes. No.
No. Tarantino did a thing? That's cool.
He's Asian. Yeah, Danny DeVito did a thing? They're all Asians.
These guys are all Asians. He's not like an Asian, right? Ralph Macchio was there? Another Asian.
Pretty cool. Well, he's got to be there.
If Ralph Macchio doesn't show up for the Asians, that's crazy. Yeah, he's got to be.
Yeah, of course. Yeah, Ralph Macchio's coming out for the Asians.
Thank you. He should say thank you for your culture.
Will you Google a photo of me at the Asian Excellence Awards, please? Please Google a photo of him. And by the way, you should have done it already.
Because Asian Excellence Awards, alliteration. Yeah.
Did you enjoy it? Was it fun? Good experience?
Well, let me see if there's a photo on there. Yeah.
Oh, that one. Yeah, no.
That one right there. You know, with Kelly Hugh who, that one? No, the first row.
Well, that was it. Yeah.
Yeah, no shirt. You know, that's how I do it.
2008. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. Boot Chrysler.
Ladies and gentlemen, Boot Chrysler.
The machine.
The machine.
Anyway, it's hard to do.
Awards just seem tough. Also, there wasn't televised and no one really was that right.
Did you read off a cue card?
What are you supposed to say? Were you reading cue cards? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's wild.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Netflix roast that we all just did, it was fun-ish.
How was that? It was an abomination. But it was fun.
We had fun. I love Mark and Sam, and we all had a...
You've never done a roast, huh? No. It wasn't a real roast.
I've never done a roast either. It wasn't a real roast.
It was roasting the year. It wasn't a roast.
Like, it wasn't a real thing. It was like we roasted the year.
Right. So it was like we're roasting topics.
Yeah, right. They asked us to do it.
Like drones. They asked us to do it.
Yeah, kind of. I said I would do it if they let me dress up like the CEO got shot, and they did.
And I didn't think they would. It was one of those.
Yeah, I saw that. It was one of those things where I said to my manager, I go, let's just, they'll never let this happen, so I won't have to do it.
And then they actually let it happen.
It was fantastic.
So then I had to do it.
They asked us to do it.
We said, no, thank you.
I will say by Netflix.
They did, but we're also, we're not.
And no, thank you is the right move.
Well, they were Netflix.
We're both doing Hulu stuff too.
So I just, I feel like that was a weird, I was like, I don't want to.
I would have done a Netflix if they asked.
Yeah.
They did.
We said no.
No, especially... Well, they were Netflix.
We were both doing Hulu stuff, too. So I just, I feel like that was a weird, I was like, I don't want to.
I would have done a Netflix if they asked.
Yeah.
They did.
We said no.
No, a special.
Yeah, this wasn't a special.
I'm just saying.
Yeah, this was not a special.
Yeah.
And then Jeff announced that he has cancer.
Well, he's better now.
So he's gone.
He beat it.
He beat it.
I knew when he had it.
I texted him.
I was so concerned.
Once you have it, you got it. You knew who also had it? He got rid of it.
Who? Eddie Pepiton. He beat it.
He beat it. I knew when he had it.
I texted him. I was so concerned.
Once you have it, you got it.
He got rid of it.
Who?
Eddie Pepitone.
Really?
Yeah.
Like two weeks ago, I saw him at a party and he goes, I was meaning to tell you, but I couldn't tell you, but I got it out.
I go, what?
He goes, I had colon cancer.
Wow.
I don't know if I should even say that out loud because it's kind of private, but.
Yeah.
Well.
I don't know.
What do you think?
Did he tell you not to talk about it? He never said anything. So then it's fine.
Are you sure? Yeah, because it's heroic. It's a hero's journey.
He won. He won.
Oh, he won. And we all love Eddie.
We love him. He's the best.
He's my favorite guy. Yeah, I love him so much.
Yeah. But, you know, it's so sad.
I mean, you know, we should be more mindful and more grateful that we're around each other and alive. Yes.
Well, that never happens. Yeah.
What do you mean? Well, it's always that thing where you're in bad turbulence on a plane or whatever it is where you feel like you've had a brush with death, it never sticks. No.
Because the human condition is to be petty and small-minded because you can't think about the big things all the time. You'll become insufferable.
Right.
Can we do a moment of silence for the Korean aircraft?
Oh, yes.
I didn't even realize.
For which?
For what?
The Korean aircraft.
The one that went off the runway into the building.
It wasn't Korean Air.
It was Jeju Air. Yeah, Jeju.
It was Jeju.
It's a Korean one.
They're like our spirit.
It happened in Korea.
Yeah.
It was sad.
Okay, let's do a moment.
It has to say Korean Air for us to do a fucking moment of hot silence. And I want to ask you something very seriously.
Did you know anyone on the plane? Because I'm asking you- Chances are high, to be honest. I don't know if you know anyone on the plane.
And I'm trying to- Because it is a terrible thing. It's awful.
No, well, Tim, we're not doing it yet. Oh, I'm sorry.
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Investing involves risk, offers subject to terms and conditions. Yeah, yeah.
Now, did they blame the barrier, right? Didn't they say the barrier? They actually blamed the wall. The wall, yeah.
The wall caused it. They blamed the wall.
It wasn't anything. It wasn't the malfunction of the plane.
No, it was the wall. If that wall wasn't there, it wouldn't explode it.
No, the plane would just keep going. Yeah, we'd keep going.
Slow down nicely. Slow down nicely, yeah.
Say that phrase again. If the wall wasn't there, this wouldn't have happened.
This wouldn't have happened. This is the Israel-Palestine thing all over again.
There we go. That's a tough photo.
Just the charred tail of a plane. But I'm going to show you a photo.
By the way, you know a photo of the year of 2025 already? What do you think? Is the burning Cybertruck outside of Trump Tower. I want it framed in my house.
It's huge. It's beautiful.
The Cybertruck on fire outside of Trump Tower. It's golden.
It's gorgeous. It's just like, look at how good that photo is.
It's a great photo. I want that in my living room.
Something's up with that. I don't know what.
We're not there yet. We're not there yet.
They're planning it. There's more to come.
Something feels weird about the whole time we're in. That's a beautiful animal.
Tell him about the story of the animal. He texted me yesterday.
Was that dog on a plane? No. Okay.
This dog He was flying the plane. This was lunch.
You're not going to eat me. Shibu Inu crashes.
Yeah, yeah. No, this dog had nine family members on that flight that died.
And now he's just sitting there at the airport going, Where everybody? It's terrible. Bobby.
Hey, hey, hey. No, I'm just kidding.
This is the dog. The dog.
Hey, where is everybody? So the dog wasn't on the flight. No, he was at the airport.
Where is everybody? Where is everybody? You know? And then what is it? You're allowed to eat them now maybe. I don't know.
Yeah,, you can. Well, it is actually.
It's super sad. By the way, it's one of those things.
Do we even need to know this? It's like we're making it even sadder. Who's doing this? A plane incinerated, hundreds of people died, and we need to find this story? Who wrote that? People magazine? Yeah, it's crazy.
Listen to this. There are many people who mourn the deceased family and want to help Pudding by adopting him.
This dog's name is Pudding and its entire family was burned alive in a plane. That's what you're working, if you're a journalist, that's what you're doing now.
By the way, a little controversial. I'm sure there's a turtle there.
Like, why don't I get coverage? Of course. You know what I mean? Of course.
Maybe someone had a frog.
Oh, my God.
This is very interesting.
That's an Asian frog. Listen to this.
They never returned,
the organization wrote, and the empty
house they left behind was haunted by their five-year-old
grandpa's pet dog, Pudding.
Pudding would stare at every car that drove
into town, and the locals would feed him
out of sympathy for the loss of his
family. That's sad.
It's terrible. Their name is terrible, too.
Pudding is not great. The grandpa's like, one day you're going to be pudding.
We're going to make you pudding. One day you will be pudding.
Yeah. You work hard enough.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They never return.
This is awful. I told him, I said, let's adopt a dog.
We try to find a way to get a hold of it.
Yeah.
We'll take the dog.
We'll take Pudding.
But this is the thing.
They wrote the story with no intention on helping the dog.
They don't give a fuck.
No, the dog is already dead.
It's gone.
The dog is down.
They put that dog down.
They put it down.
That dog is down.
You think so?
Pudding's down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pudding's down.
Pudding is down.
As of this writing, Pudding is down.
There is no way Pudding is still around. Pudding is down.
As of this writing, pudding is down. There is no way pudding is still around.
Pudding is down as of this recording.
Pudding is gone.
It's terrible.
That's so terrible.
But let's do a moment of silence like you wanted.
For pudding and the rest of the people.
Mostly for pudding.
I'm going to speak in Korean if I may.
Please.
I would love that.
I would love that. Did you call me fat again?
Yes.
Keep going.
What do you think happens in Korea now? Do you think they, do they, is there any, like, how do you mourn in Korea? Yeah, what do you, do you guys have wakes? That's the most racist thing. No, Bobby, it's not, because I don't know.
I've never heard it in my fucking life. Bobby, I don't know.
What are you talking about, bro? I don't know how they mourn. He's saying, do you have wakes? Like, you know how they do the Irish wake? That's what I mean.
I'm like, how do you do it? They would do a funny dance or something? What are you talking about? Well, I don't know.
I'm just saying, is it, is it, is it?
Show us the dance.
Show us the funeral dance.
Yeah, we have a dance.
Is it upbeat?
Is it giggling?
They have a little dance.
Oh.
Right.
Well, that's nice.
Yeah.
Well, it's closure.
Out of respect to the dead.
Put that part out.
Because, do you know what?
No, leave it.
That was so dumb.
Leave that in.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not putting that in.
No, we have cure ducks. Bobby, I'm not- We have tear ducts! I'm not saying- And we have emotions like you, white fox.
I'm not saying Asians aren't human. I know.
A little bit. Yeah, yeah.
They're not as big as you. Asians, your tear ducts are smaller.
I'm not saying Asians are not people. I was simply asking what the custom was.
Yeah. But I'll tell you what the saddest thing is.
Yeah. And my therapist says I have to stop doing this.
Yeah. Which is, I'll.
Because she goes, you're like, I obsessed over the mourning of people. Sure.
Right? So it's like, I've been watching all night long. So what they did was, all the family members were at the airport, just staying there in tents.
So awful. Now, can I ask a question? Oh, my God.
Bobby, why are they in tents at the airport? That's crazy. Yeah, go home.
If you called me and said your family just died in a plane crash, I would never go camp at an airport. That's what I mean.
There are differences, Bobby. There are cultural differences.
You're right. Sorry.
Right, but they also, you know, we care about the remains. So do we.
Yeah, we all do. I don't know.
I don't think so. We ship the bodies.
I think Koreans care about the remains more than white people. So you're camping at the airport.
Where in the airport are they camping? The government set up these tenting cities. Can you imagine some people are in the Delta Lounge? That's what I mean.
Yeah, some people are not. the people that perished or their relatives.
There are people that paid a lot of money to fly a luxury carrier, perhaps a London or Dubai, that don't want to see tents of crying people on their way to the plane. So Bobby, if I spend money to have a first class ticket on Korean Air, which is a phenomenal carrier, I don't want to walk through through tragedy and horror on my way into the plane.
Let's forget about it. Move on.
Yeah. Move on.
I never even thought about that, and I guess you're right. Yes.
I'm backing you up. Look how terrible this looks.
This looks like L.A. That's it.
These yellow tents. But here's what's sad about it.
How does this help? It doesn't help. But they want to be there to see if they can find, like, a tow or something.
Is that really what's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby, that's morbid and sick.
This is so sick. This is kind of sick.
Why don't you come and let's camp and then try to find your cousin's toe? Well, what I do is sicker. I'm going to tell you what I do.
Okay. Right? So when the—I don't know why I'm laughing.
But when the guy, you know what I mean? You know, he's the CEO or somebody that works for the airline. He's, like, naming names of people that are deceased.
Oh, right. Right? You can hear people yelp in the background.
Yeah. So he'll be like, you know what I mean? Yes.
And I'll just keep watching it over and over again. Now there's people that are angry.
Can we watch this? Could I cry? I want to see this because these are, and now these people are very angry. This is so awful.
The bereaved are at breaking point. These outbursts happen every few minutes.
We better get miles for this. That's what he's saying.
These tents aren't big. Just yelling at a desk agent.
If I don't get free drinks on the next flight, I'm going to fucking lose it. This is so terrible.
This is terrible. This is terrible.
Okay, all joking aside. All joking aside.
Honestly. Honestly, it's awful.
But this is what's so awful is they have to sit in a room and cry and yell together. Well, this is what I don't understand.
It's terrible. What I don't understand is why these people aren't with lawyers.
Yeah, Sue. I would be with a lawyer.
But this is an American culture. This is what he was asking you.
Morgan and Morgan. Lawyers.
We don't do it there. We don't do it there.
You don't, Sue? I don't think so. I would be, if you called me right now and said your family was incinerated in a crash, I would put you on hold and call a lawyer.
Yeah. Immediately with a lawyer.
Immediately. I would not go to a tent.
And I'll tell you why they don't have to do that. Because Koreans are already, it's inherent in their company.
They already know they're going to get paid out. Okay.
Well, that, by the way, that's good. I just made that up, but I'm assuming.
God bless the dead in Korea, because that is tragic and awful. No, and by the way, it's awful.
We're not making light of this at all. I think air travel is terrible, and I think it's coming.
It's gotten worse. It's gotten worse.
I predicted it. I predicted it years ago.
It's coming for all of us. Look, look, look.
It's pudding. Now we go back to pudding.
By the way, can you Google how many, in the last two months, I'm not kidding, the amount of air crashes and stuff that's going on. Well, there's landing gear issues.
Lots of them. Things can't land.
What's going on, Boeing? We fly every week. Are you nervous? I'm so nervous.
I leave in two days. You leave in two days.
I'm very nervous. Where are you nervous.
I'm freaking out. He's going to Florida.
I'm going to New York or Florida. Yeah, it sucks.
I go to New York then I go to Florida again. I have a gig in Jeju.
Oh, you're going to Jeju? Yeah, at the airport. Oh, that's tough.
Both of the two December 2024 crashes happened when landing. Both of them were landing gear issues.
Oh my god. And they both happened in December.
People think when you're landing you're in the clear. You are not.
It's actually the most dangerous time of the flight. By far.
And when you're up, it's fine. And here's the other thing.
If you've ever, like, whatever, seen pilots when they're landing, either on a YouTube video or if you're in a jet where you can see them or whatever, that's when they're working. Oh, yeah.
Because when they're up there, they're just chilling. But when they're landing, they're like, fuck, this could go bad.
The engine was damaged after hitting a bird. Talent had the worst flight of our lives in a small jet going from Amsterdam to London.
It was a 33-minute flight. The last four to five minutes of it, we could not land.
We got to 700 feet. It was crazy.
We had to go back up. Then we landed in Birmingham, which was like, you know, three-hour car ride away.
And we went up through a storm, and the Russian flight attendant was just sitting there expressionless. Two French pilots, thin guys, exactly what you want, thin, just working.
At the end when we landed, I said, how many landings are worse than that? The guy said, I've been flying 23 years. I said, how many landings are worse than that? He goes, very few, maybe none.
Oh, my God. Wow.
And pilots always underplay everything. And these two guys were like, very few, maybe none.
Like, it was bad. Sam Talon said it perfectly.
He goes, that was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me as an adult. Wow.
I've done two touch and goes. You know, you have to touch and take back off.
I did that in Vegas, and that was one of the worst fucking – because if the heat is too high in Vegas, right, if it's like over 100 and something, it's really hard for them to land. So he's landing in the wind, and it's crazy, and he goes all the way down, and we touch, and then we go right back up, and immediately everyone's on their phone.
See ya. Bye.
Love ya. Right.
This is it. This is definitely how it goes.
Circle around. We did it again.
I fucking hated it. I hated so much landing.
Well, when it's going down, do you know how you're going to be? I'm going to be thinking about you. No, but what do you do? Do you scream? No.
No. No, you can't.
It's internal? For me, when I was on the thing with talent, when we were landing the second time, it was such a crazy storm and it wasn't good. I was thinking to myself, I was so in it.
I was watching, like, are we going to get to the runway? Because the plane's going like this. And I was so in it, I'm like, are we going to do it? Are we going to do it? I wasn't even thinking, like, this is it.
There was a thought. I was like, this could be it.
But I was so in it, I'm like, are they going to do it? You're kind of rooting for the pilot. I say root for them until the end.
Root for them. Root for them until the end.
You know? It was more this year than other years? Is that what it says? Wow. Why is that the case, though? Because Boeing is something's going on.
Boeing, something's going on. They killed all the whistleblowers.
There's too many people flying. Everybody's mad.
Go to an airport. Everyone looks pissed.
Everybody looks pissed. Everybody looks pissed.
You don't want to be in a situation where everyone hates their job. Because nobody's doing it the way they should do it.
This is giving me the creeps.
I'm going up from Miami.
No, it's going to be fun.
Let's move on.
Let's move on from this, please.
Let's talk about Gladiator 2 or something.
Well, Denzel Washington's in it, and he's excellent, I think.
Did you like the movie?
I saw it.
I liked it.
I thought it was good.
I thought it was excellent.
I thought it was very good, and I enjoyed it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I enjoyed it.
And here's another.
Can I just recommend another one?
Sure.
On the topic, right?
Yeah.
Anora.
Yes. Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes.
The Order. Ooh.
Did you see it? No, what is that? The Order is about these white supremacists in the 70s. Remember that radio DJ, Jewish guy, that got assassinated outside the studio? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that guy. You know who plays him in the movie? Who? Marc Maron.
Really? And he kills it. It's a great movie.
And The Order is about white supremacists. It's about that killing and also the heist that they had and then how they got stopped.
You know what I mean? But it's a really good movie. What do you think is going to happen tomorrow? Tomorrow's a big day for white supremacy.
What's tomorrow? Come on, dude. Jan 6.
J6? We're back, baby. I think it'll pass without incident.
That's kind of a bummer. I want a little bit of a party.
I think there'll be some fond remembrances of a time. Here's the way I look at January 6th.
Truly, have you ever been at a party That's gotten out of hand
Yeah
That's kind of what happened
That's what happened
That's what it was, yes
It's a high school party
And it was not a civil war
They're in hat
They're in costume hats
It was a high school party
It was a high school party
It got out of hand
It's also not a coup
You know, people call it a coup
It's not a coup
You need the military for the coup
You can't be doing a coup with a hat
That's right
A shaman hat
With a prop
Right, right, right, right, right
You can't
No, no, no
No, this is
The kids from the other high school came
And they're a little wild
There's a lot of people who are not. You can't be doing a coup with a hat.
That's right. A shaman hat.
With a prop and costume. Right, right, right, right.
You can't. No, no, no.
No, this is the kids from the other high school came and they're a little wild. They're a little wild.
And things got a little out of hand. And then the really popular quarterback may or may not have egged it on without knowing.
A little bit. Without even knowing.
We don't know. He was like, we're having the best time of our lives tonight.
We got to go out there and have the most fun. No one can tell us how much fun we can have.
Trump, Trump more fun.
Trump really is the quarterback.
He's quarterback.
And he was like, we're tonight's our night to make a mark and have the most fun we've ever had.
Yeah.
And this is what happened.
We have to show Maine South, we're the ones.
We're the ones.
We're the ones.
And there's a lot of teachers that, you know, they say that we're such good kids. We're not.
We're not problems. They go, these kids are so sweet and quiet, but guess what? Tonight's the night to show them.
You know what I mean? It can get out of hand. It's like a pepper alley.
It can get out of hand. It's no one's fault.
It's no one's fault. It's not litigated.
It's no one's fault. He's actually a genius.
That Jake Angeli. Rogan sent me a tweet the other day.
He's very smart. This kid? This shaman, the QAnon shaman.
Oh, wow. Tim, if you were breaking a window and I didn't know what was going on, I would help you break it.
I don't know what's going on. Of course.
My friend once fell through a door, a screen door, and ripped the screen out, and we all started laughing. Of course my friend's property was destroyed.
Right. His parents were very upset.
But there was something funny about watching someone fall through a screen door. And if you said, like, come into this office, right? Yes.
And I'm in Nancy Pelosi's office. Right.
Right. I don't know what's going on.
I just followed him in there. Right.
Would you go in? Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're all in a field. We're all kind of having fun.
And it's getting a little wild. It's getting wild.
It's getting a little wild. But we've all been at those parties where we regret the next day.
Everybody looks around and goes, that was really nuts. I can't believe we did that.
I can't believe that happened. Do you think he's going to pardon the January 6th people that are in prison? The day he's the day.
Do you think the day? Day one. Day one.
You think day one? Day one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Day one. Okay.
I heard it's not hard to do either to pardon. No, it's a pen.
It's a pen. He signs a page.
Yeah, yeah. We do posters all the time.
Yeah, we sign posters on the road. No, it's literally us signing merch.
It's the same thing. It's the same thing.
The best thing ever, though. Can you get the January 6th song that the January 6th people recorded a song in prison? All the January 6th people that went to jail.
It's called Justice for All. Wow.
And it was recorded by Donald Trump and the January 6th prison choir. Please.
I gotta hear it. It is actually kind of powerful.
Are they going on tour anytime soon? If they are, I will jump on that in a minute. Let me host.
Abraham Lincoln, at a time of true crisis with the country
on the brink of civil war, appealed for all Americans to be touched by what he called the
better angels of our nature. And toward the end of the war, he called on them to bind up the
nation's wounds. Lincoln was the first Republican president.
In seeking to be the next Republican
president, Donald Trump promises to be an agent of vengeance. And in his CPAC speech,
invoked the post-Civil War act of vengeance, lynching in a moment of self-pity. I didn't know that they want to lynch you for doing nothing wrong.
I didn't know they want to lynch you for doing a great job. I didn't know they want to put you away because your poll numbers are better than anybody they've seen in years.
For the record, the former president was not lynched. He lost.
He was voted out of office. And he's not being lynched either.
He's the subject of numerous official legally sanctioned investigations. The irony here is that he did have a vice president who was being hunted by a mob, the former president encouraged, and for hours did nothing to stop, who did want to hang Mike Pence.
And according to the New York Times, Mark Meadows, his chief of staff, told the January 6th committee that when President Trump
learned of the rioters chanting, hang Mike Pence, he said something to the effect of,
maybe Mr. Pence should be hot.
And as for those rioters, shortly before speaking to CPAC,
the former president collaborated with a group of incarcerated January 6th in the end on this. For the red ones we watched were so gallantly streaming.
And to the republic for which it stands. I'm not in.
That's very beautiful. You're telling me Diplo can't do anything with that? Make a beat.
Throw a beat on that. Hey, where's John Summit? Wow.
No, I'll tell you this right now. It's a regrettable day.
Yeah. It's a regrettable day.
And it's not good. And everybody, you know, that I know who was there.
Feels sad about it. You know? This is like all my uncles.
Yeah, that's everyone I grew up with. That's all my uncles.
That's every person I've ever met in my life is that guy. Dude, we got inside the fucking offices, dude.
But by the way, it's a great story. Here's the thing about January 6th.
It's one of those stories where it's a great story to tell you were there. I mean, he's got...
What is he on? Is he on an app? He's recording right now. He was one of those guys singing.
He's on TikTok Live. Yeah.
He's TikTok-ing. Yeah.
Is that a katana? Yeah a sword? Let's keep that thang on you. What has he got? I'm more interested.
Look at the desk. I want to see what's on the desk.
A little bit of Purell. An old Yeti cup.
The problem with this country is that we don't have fun anymore. We don't.
And this is fun. This is fun.
This is not the best thing. It's not the best thing.
It's not the best thing. I mean, you also could go to a water slide.
No. They're closed.
It's the winter. Oh, that's right.
They're closed. And you know what? There's lines and there's problems.
This is immediate kind of just, here's the thing, man. We all remember doing fun pranks as kids.
Yeah. This is kind of what this is.
It's just a prank. It's a fun prank.
It's a prank. It's a fun prank.
As kids, you're getting wacky. You're having a good time with your buddies.
This is us egg in a house. Egg in a house.
Toilet paper in a house. T.P.A.
Throwing some fruit off the overpass. Come on.
Look at this. He's got the thing.
He's got the thick tongue. Look at that tongue, man.
Yeah. By the way, you know what's so funny? They've interviewed some of these people, and obviously they all went insane and are crazy, but they also, like, when seem very reasonable like it's just so insane like they're like so you took a shit on nancy pelosi's desk and he's like representative government has failed the p it's like so it's so crazy how well spoken some of them are because the behavior is so nuts this podcast is brought to you in part by stash saving and investing can feel impossible, but with Stash, it's a reality.
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It's nuts, yeah. Are you guys afraid of the inauguration? Do you think it's going to be wild? No.
You know what's so funny? I think it's going to be calm. Let's say someone was invited to it.
Would you go to it or do you think there's going to be problems? No, I think no problems. Okay.
I think it's going to be the polar. Because I'm just seeing like Teslas explode and all that, and I'm going, but you're right.
It might be nice. Would you go? If you were invited, would you go? I'm thinking of it.
Oh, you were invited. Yeah.
Perhaps. He was invited.
I was invited. No, be real.
I was invited. You literally think you got to go.
I think I'll go. Yeah, yeah.
I think I'll go. How come we didn't get invited? We don't get invited to stuff.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got invited to like a, J.D.
Vance has like a listening party for an album he's putting out. And I might want to go to that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.
Yeah, it's fine. I mean, it was unofficial, but it was like a, it was a paperless post sent to my email.
I just don't want to be there and then craziness starts to go on. I think the security is going to be unbelievable through the roof.
It's just going to be, there's no way. Liberals don't do crazy like that.
What do you think they do? Some of them do. But we're not even talking about liberals.
We're just talking about like, who knows, dude. Foreign actors.
A guy drove a truck through the middle of Bourbon Street. That's true.
People go wild. People lose their mind.
Yeah, yeah. People go wild.
They do crazy shit. Don't go, don't go, don't go.
It just seems, I don't know. I'm going to go probably.
It'll be an experience. You got to go.
I think it'll be an experience. You know what I want? For Jimmy Carter.
Do it for Jimmy. Do it for Jimmy.
I'm going to do it for Jimmy. You know that award? Wear a shirt that says this is for Jimmy.
You know when the president gives awards out and puts a little thing around their neck? The Medal of Honor? Yes. How can I get one? Oh, buddy.
So far from that. Can I get one? So far from that.
What would I need to do to get one? Like, you think a Medal of Honor or like a... Ellen got one.
Who? Ellen DeGeneres. For what? I don't know, but she got one.
But Ellen's like in. The Medal of Freedom? Yeah, she got a Medal of something.
Look at Biden's face. Hillary just got one 23 hours ago.
Yeah, yeah, she got one. Magic Johnson.
Look at him. He doesn't want to touch magic.
I don't love that photo. Yeah.
It doesn't. You know why.
I know. It's not going to rub off.
It doesn't look great. I don't want to catch anything that this guy's got.
That doesn't present America in our best life. No, no.
Such an unflattering photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you don't think I'll ever get one? No chance. You know what I don't like about you, Andrew? Give it to me.
And I think, Tim, you're in the same category. Yeah.
I really get no support. Well, but here's the thing.
No, here's the thing. Yeah, I get no support.
Hold on. Hold on.
What? How hard was this for him to clasp? Right. With him shaking, with both of them shaking? I mean, and by the way, look at the guy, the Marine or whatever, just standing there like, I'm not even watching.
That is the face of a guy who's like, I'm not even watching. Because that was such a crazy shaky thing.
Between his hands. He's trying so hard not to look.
Because he knows. You're right.
They're both shaking. Oh, it's tough.
Bobby, you could absolutely get one. You would have to, there would have to be a president who felt, for whatever reason, close that you had to help them or you helped the country.
We would need to set you up. Like, we would need to have an- That's why I had Kennedy on my podcast.
Right. Right.
Well, that's good. Do you remember we bailed?
Yes.
So me and Bobby.
And by the way, the last time we talked about canceling,
I'm getting all these people that get angry at me.
We were talking about canceling one show at the Improv for a criminal.
But go on.
So you and I had a benefit show.
Yes, we did.
Do you remember?
And then I called you.
Yes.
And you go, are you going? Yeah. He's not going to win.
No, we knew it. Yeah, you knew it, right? You weren't going to go, right? And the line-out was tough.
Your excuse was COVID, right? COVID. Right.
But then I- Got COVID. No.
No. I told them I had COVID before you told them because I stole your fucking excuse.
Smart. And I sent them, I think, your test.
Yeah, I told you.
I shared it with you.
I shared it with you.
So the text that you sent me, that was my results too to them.
We were on a lineup.
It was weird.
It was weird.
Me, you, Rob Schneider.
Yeah.
Who else?
People that weren't comedians.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was like strange.
Send in your COVID tests.
Yeah. Show me that you had COVID.
I think they're lying, both of them. I don't believe them at all.
I think Bobby Lee and Tim Dillon are lying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've replaced them with Dre and Mateo. From The Sopranos will be here.
But I would have done it if you did it because you weren't doing it. I was like, I don't think I should do it then either.
What do you think about those guys having Armie Hammer on, on YMH? We were talking about having him on here. He's doing like a podcast tour.
He's going to go on a tour. Do you know that? He's got his own show now.
Somebody told me he has a podcast. He does.
That's why he's doing it. He's thinking about Armie Hammer.
Here's the thing about Armie Hammer, though. Isn't he just a hot, boring actor at the end of the day? But it's interesting they had him on because they have no connection to him whatsoever.
It's a strange start for a podcast tour to start on YMH. Well, now he's like, see, Armie Hammer's an actor, so you've got to remember that he is now playing the role of this guy.
Armie Hammer was an A-list guy forever. He said he wanted to eat a liver.
Probably didn't want to. Maybe it was a joke.
That didn't work. Now he's that guy.
With a trucker hat on YMA. You would see him talk about the thing that happened, and sometimes he'd do it as a drama, and he'd be like, it's been so hard.
And then he'd do it as a comedy. It's kind of wacky when you think about it.
And he's going, which script is it? Is it a comedy that they thought I ate everyone? Or is it a drama? Am I a podcast guy now? He's he's just basically trying to figure out, like, what's the role? He's looking for a director. He's looking for a director.
He needs the role to get him back. You think this is his way to get back into movies? Something.
Yeah, something. He's got to come back.
He doesn't want to not be famous. Yeah, but my thing is that there's nothing else he can do to make money, and this is why he's doing it.
You guys are crazy. When everybody says this, it pisses me off.
He's a fucking hammer. He's a fucking hammer.
Oh, he has money. Do you know about the Hammer Museum in Los Angeles? His family is worth it.
He sold his truck. He's pretending he has no money.
How could he not? He sold his truck on... He's like, here's me selling my car.
There's no fucking way. His family is worth fucking billions of dollars.
Supposedly they cut him off and he was selling timeshares. I believe none of that.
I agree with you. I believe zero of that.
That's the thing. If you're a Rockefeller, sometimes you get cut off.
That's what I'm saying. What if he's cut off? Not when you're this close.
It's his great-grandfather, right? Give me the Wikipedia on the fucking guy. It's his great-grandfather that is started the foundation in all this shit.
Because I knew Zsa Zsa Gabor's daughter and she got cut off. Zsa Zsa didn't make a lot of paper, my friend.
Oh, that's all right. This is entrepreneur industrialist Armand Hammer.
It sounds like they have money, right? Gabor? And that's his grandfather or his great-grandfather. Wow.
Right? She was born into it. Yeah, look, dude.
This is generational fucking wealth. That guy.
Oh, my God. Look at him.
I passed him. By the way, if you think that guy didn't
ask to eat a liver.
Right, right, right. Completely out of your mind.
If you think that guy didn't set the standard.
Yeah. It just said, it said,
Lenin called him, go back up on his picture there,
it said,
Lenin's chosen capitalist
by the press. I like that.
Close ties to the Soviet Union.
So you think it's over for him in terms
of movies? No, I don't know that. I can't say
that. I'm just saying that I think he feels that he has to, and I sympathize with him, he has to figure out, like, how do you handle this? Do you handle it, like, serious? Like, my life was destroyed.
Or do you just say, listen, it's funny. It's like a funny rom-com.
I texted a few women I wanted to eat their hearts.
People freaked out.
It's silly.
And now I'm back.
And I think that's smart of him to do that.
And that's why he's going to YMaves.
Tom and Christina are super cool.
They get it.
They're having fun with them.
I think it's smart.
It's wild.
It's wild.
We're living in such a crazy.
Is that his grandfather?
Make sure that that's his granddad or his great granddad.
I don't know which one it is.
It's just a strange.
It's like we are living in.
See upside down in a weird way.
Thank you. Is that his grandfather? Make sure that that's his granddad or his great-granddad.
I don't know which one it is. It's just a strange...
We are living in... See you upside down in a weird way.
It's unscripted. It's so...
It's crazy. Yeah.
We are the wildest reality show we've ever lived. It's his great-grandson.
Yeah. Michael Armandhammer.
Armandhammer, yeah. Supposedly he was having financial issues.
Maybe that is untrue. I just don't buy that.
I think you're probably right. Generational wealth.
Whenever you meet someone with generational wealth, and you do occasionally come across people where you're like, oh, my dad is a blah, blah, blah, whoever. Right.
They can't run out. They can't run out.
Generation. You can run out if you just got rich.
You know what's interesting about Armie Hammond? He's never looked not good. Like, if you have zero money.
You look shit. You look shit.
Yeah. He's never looked bad.
Right. Look at this.
Army's grandfather who was accused of killing a man in 1955 and sexual abuse by his daughter. He's got a good lineage.
That's good lineage. That's insane.
Wait, his great-grandfather was convicted of manslaughter in 1919. These guys are killers.
There's something about runs in his blood. It's a fun family.
It's a fun family. It's a fun family.
That's a Thanksgiving. Yeah, you don't become Lenin's favorite capitalist, but you know what I mean? Yeah.
It's a fun Thanksgiving, and I like this new Armie Hammer. I like the truck.
I wanted to have him on here and eat really ribs. I wanted to have him on and eat ribs, so I will have him on if me and him can eat- He'll do the show.
Ribs. I think he'll do the show.
Yeah, we were talking about it. He would do the show.
But you know how Kevin Spacey cries about he's lost everything and his house and this and that? Like, do you believe that? Yeah, but that was my point. He's not generationally wealthy.
Spacey's rich. Yeah, but he made a lot of money.
Not like the fucking hammer. Not like Lennon's favorite capitalist.
You would think that Kevin Spacey would have made at least $100 million. No way.
I also think Kevin Spacey's
lying about losing everything. Sure.
I think he's probably not
being honest. I agree with that, but also
dude, new rich is
different than generational wealth. Yeah.
You know, dude.
The difference is... We're all new rich, right?
I'm not that rich, but I'm just saying. The Hammer
family, there are...
There's... There are...
There are... There's money they have they don't even know they have.
Correct. That's the kind of money we're talking about.
If you have a fucking building on Wilshire and an art museum, you're fucking fine. They're fine.
Okay. But Spacey, I bet you he lost a lot of all the shit that he had.
I imagine. This guy.
But when these guys talk about being broke, they don't mean like I'm living in an apartment in West Hollywood. They mean like I'm not...
Maintain their lifestyle. I'm not maintaining my lifestyle.
This guy's living in a three bed, three bath. When I was with...
I did a podcast with Alec Baldwin a few months after the... And he said to me, he goes, I can't believe I'm dealing with this bullshit.
I should be on David Geffen's yacht in Nice right now.
Do you see what I mean?
I mean, it's a different kind of level.
It's a different level.
There's levels to this.
He was ordered to pay $31 million.
That is, by the way, that is heavy.
I didn't know it was that much.
$31 is heavy.
Oh, wait a minute.
He let her say, ordered to pay $31 million by a production company.
Look at the end.
He later settled the case for a million. That's it, a million? He's got fucking plenty of money.
One million dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Huh. So he's not like on the streets.
I mean, he's gonna... No, his problem was, look, his monthly mortgage was $20,000.
Yeah. And he sold his house for $3.2.
Just go to Austin and look with Tony. I don't know.
Army Hammer, Kevin Spacey. By the way, if they all move to Austin, just be the greatest thing in the world.
Ladies and fucking gentlemen, the greatest fucking lineup you've ever seen in your life. Red Band and I work tirelessly to get this lineup put together.
It's Army fucking Hammer and Kevin fucking Spacey. They could start like a new Hollywood over there.
In Austin, you In Austin, you think. In Austin.
Even the actors start a production company. Yeah.
You know what I mean? What do we say to Austin? We're never going to go. No, thanks.
No, thank you. No, thanks.
I've made my feelings public and clear. Yeah.
I love everyone who lives there. I love it too.
Not everyone. That's crazy.
I love Joe, Shane, and Tony. I love three people.
No, there's people that are great. I love three people.
I just don't feel like moving there.
And Tom and Christina. They want everyone
to move there. It's so weird.
It's culty.
I don't want to move. We need to hold up the
west flank here. We're fine.
Me, you, Bobby, Whitney. We don't have a choice.
We have to stay here. Absolutely.
By the way, if we pull out the final Jenga
blocks. Forget it.
We're fucked. Forget it.
It has to be us. It has to be
Burr and Sebastian. Here's why
I stay. Someone has to discuss
Sebastian Maniscalco at the improv.
Let's go. Someone has to play that role.
I know. That's right.
Someone has to be sitting here in his sweatsuit when he walks in and he just goes. Yeah.
That's us. That's, yes, that's us.
Someone's got to do it. He's a good example of someone I met early.
I love him. You know what I mean? I love him.
I love him too. He's like a brother to me, right? He's brilliant.
But I'm so glad I met him early. Yeah, I know what you mean.
You understand what I'm saying? But he's very nice to me. In that way, when he nods, it's a nice nod.
Because he is a quiet but endearing guy. No, he's a very sweet guy.
But I get it because he's about his business when he goes in there. He's working on the bits.
Yeah, he's not a clown like us. You've never had a conversation with him before then.
It's very minimal. Yeah, yeah.
But it's nice when it happens. I know.
It's quick in and out. He is very much...
This is why he's so successful Amongst his talent But like A few guys like this They're all fucking business That's why he's so good At what he does He's focused We go in there We fucking goof off We're not business We're fucking fuck ups We're all over the place I'm fucking loser dude Yeah We're king losers Why we like that Who cares I want to be business I want to get a medal. You're never going to get one.
You can't get a Heisman. Yes, we can.
We spent 30 minutes talking about a dog whose family got incinerated. I know, but it's real news.
No, it's not. We're fucked.
This podcast is brought to you in part by Stash. Saving and investing can feel impossible, but with Stash, it's a reality.
It's easy. Stash is just an investing app.
It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with dependable financial strategies to help you reach your goals faster. They'll provide you with personalized advice on what to invest in based on your goals.
Or if you want to just sit back and watch your money go to work, you can opt into their award-winning expert managed portfolio that picks stocks for you. Stash has helped millions of Americans reach their financial goals and starts at just $3 per month.
Don't let your savings sit around, make it work harder for you. Go to getstash.com slash T-I-M to see how you can receive $25 towards your first stock purchase and to view your important disclosures.
That's get.stash.com slash Tim. That's get.stash.com slash Tim.
Paid non-client endorsement, not representative of all clients and not a guarantee investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments, LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor. Investing involves risk, offer a subject to terms and conditions.
Your podcast is the biggest thing in the world. Bad friends.
No one needs to know about you guys, obviously.
Is there anything specifically you want to plug? Are we ending now?
Well, it's an hour,
and I felt I was respectful of everyone's time
because I know you both had time.
You're going to cut some things out
because I'm going to tell them what to cut out.
Can you stop?
We're not cutting anything out.
What would we cut out?
He always likes to do 15 more minutes in case.
By the way, we'll do 15.
I already know jokes in my head that didn't work.
It's in my head right now.
But it's a podcast.
We were warming up.
Thank you. more minutes in case.
I already know jokes in my head that didn't work. It's in my head right now.
But it's a podcast. We were warming up.
If I cut every joke that didn't work when I did Rogan, it would be nine minutes. It would be a nine minute show.
And seven of it would be Rogan telling me to not eat flour. What if...
So it's... You just gotta do a thing.
Why does Rogan call out bad jokes? One time I did a joke last time I was on it, and he goes, ha, ha, ha. He does that a lot.
And I'm like, just let it go. No, he'll do that to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's done that to everyone, though.
He does it to Shane. I mean.
Hardy har, har, har. I hate it.
I don't know. He likes to fucking set.
Some jokes't on that show But you gotta power through Yeah And making him laugh Feels great Because you've done it It's the most stressful podcast I've ever You have to admit Both of you Yeah That doing this podcast It doesn't feel like this It feels A little bit more elevated It's the hardest It's elevated It's the biggest show In the world That's couldn't sleep the night before. Yeah, but think about it.
That's what people felt like when they did Tonight Show. When they went on Carson, they were so nervous.
It's because the weight of the show is so heavy. It's my Golden Globes.
That is my Golden Globes. That's as close as I'm getting in the Golden Globes.
One day, though, we are going to get you forget the Medal of Freedom. You will get a Heism.
I'm a Pulitzer, and I want to get the Medal of Freedom. You're going to get an Emmy.
I would love to see you get an Emmy. He'll win an Emmy.
For what? And by the way, I want Biden to pin the Emmy on you like that. That's what I want to say.
Can we get the Emmy on a rope? Yeah. I want to hang it on a little Chinese boy.
That's the song, hang the Emmy on the old Chinese. No, I love it.
You will. But you will.
You will get your comeuppance. Let me say something to you guys.
You know that. Listen, I'm so happy.
Are you? I'm in a perfect place in my life. That's beautiful.
By the way, we're really next week. What is it is it No this week We're shooting a pilot It's amazing
A game show
That we
We financed it
We created it
We did everything
We're doing it on our own
That's the only way to do it now
Yeah we're excited
We're doing
It's like
In the way that Eric Andre's show
Is an R-rated talk show
Or an adult talk show
This is an R-rated game show
Yeah
Perfect
Celebrities
Amazing
It's so much fucking fun
That's what we're looking forward to
Because now
He jokingly says
I don't work
We've toyed in the business
This is the first time I was going making it exactly what you want is perfect. I can't.
I can't get the call. Oh, they put a pin in you.
They pin you. Right.
And then like, you're in the mix. Yeah.
Right. And then two months goes by and you see a billboard of it.
Yeah. I guess I'm not in the mix.
You know what I mean? It's like, I can't do it. Well, it's funny because you go from you're in the mix to the next set of calls is like, well, you're there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done that.
Right, right. It starts like the verbiage changes.
Yeah, yeah. You know? Let's tell people how it works.
So do you read? Sure. Yeah.
Yeah. So you read.
You know if you read well, right? Always, yeah. Then the next day you get a call like you're in the mix.
They like you. They put a pin in you.
They like you. Is that the same thing? Same thing.
Yeah. Right.
And then it goes, and this is your agent not knowing. Right.
When they say that. Yeah.
Like, you know, it's still, you know, you know how this works. You're right there.
You're right there, yeah. They haven't gotten a call.
That means they don't know what's happening. They don't know what's happening.
You know, at this stage, you are in the bar culture. You're like the waiting to see what's left over at the end of the night.
They've got you as the reserve side pussy. Yeah, because they're negotiating with someone they want.
Right.
And you're your last resort pussy.
Yeah, they're like, maybe, you know.
And then, by the way, they don't even take your threat seriously.
No.
I guarantee they call and they go, oh, yeah, well, I don't know if they think we're in the right place with the deal because they're also talking to this person. And then the person on the other end of the phone is like, okay, good luck with that.
Yeah, good luck with that. And then finally the agent goes, you go, I guess, are we not doing that? A week later, and they go, I don't know what's going on over there.
Can I send you something else? No, Can I send you something else? No they say They're moving In a different direction They're moving In a different direction Instead of saying They don't fucking want you And then they pivot And they go like this They go you know what I don't think you wanted To do that Oh I've got that I don't even think You wanted that You know agents Agents are so fucking spineless You'll go You know I't know. I don't even know if I like that project.
And they'll go, yeah, that thing fucking sucks. If you call them the next morning and go, I kind of really kind of want to be a part of that.
They'll go, it is pretty good. I think we should get you in there.
They'll flip flop. It's like a real estate agent.
You look at a house. You go, it's really old.
They go, it's really old. You go, I just don't feel comfortable with that.
They go, completely understandable. I go, but it does have charm.
They go, it's got a It's the most charming house on the block Yeah It's what it is Yeah They're just And we're not dumb They mirror you We know what's going on Well we are dumb But we're not that dumb We are dumb Well you know We've learned They're Selling Sunset Yeah We are We're all on Selling Sunset That's it So for Whitney's show Whitney Her sitcom Yeah The TV show Yeah yeah everyone audition for it right and i started out really complaining that i didn't get an audition i guess it got to her so one day they called me in right but it was for a part they had already cast oh that's awful right wow right and then i didn't even get a casting director i got some lady with like you know a camera like a iphone and we were in i swear to god we were in some sort of storage room i just do it real quick like this you know i mean it was like it was just a call me in that's why if they don't already want me i'm it's fine i don't want to like anymore i don't want to pretend i don't want them to have to pretend that they give a shit about you right so if they're like you're not really our style it's like i'd rather that than I'd rather that than be like, yeah, send in a fucking tape. We don't like you.
It's good to just lay, put cards on the table. Just tell us.
Here's what I don't like though. Yeah.
Since we're talking about it. Yeah.
Is, I love you so much. I love you.
Is when you get an offer, that's even worse. Yeah.
Because you show up on set and you're like, am I going to do it right? Yeah, am I going to fuck it up? Because the worst thing is when you're doing it and you see the producers look, you know, from Video Village and they're like, concerned. Yeah.
Oh shit, he's doing it wrong. You know what I mean? And then they have to come to you while you're, it's the day you're shooting to give you a thousand notes.
Oh, scary. It's so stressful.
That's time to walk. That's when I get real nervous.
I go to lunch and I think the whole time by myself. Scared.
They don't like me, do they? That's why I like that movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Yeah.
Tarantino? Like even, you know, that scene where DiCaprio is in his trailer and just ripping on himself because he forgot a line or whatever. It just felt so, like, real to me.
Yeah, we lived that. I've lived that a hundred times.
I was, I, yeah, Joker and some of the other ones. Thanksgiving the other ones.
Thanksgiving. Tim, I think you checked out for a second.
No, I was listening. No, no.
I think you checked out. I was deciding if I wanted to talk about the Borderlands movie.
I was deciding. Well, you're looking at me now, but in my head, that's where I was going.
I was like, should I bring it up? No, it's not. By the way, I think it was actually nice.
So that's all I wanted to say, and now we're moving past it. No, I can say something, too.
Why? It's an attack. Why? It's not an attack.
It's not an attack. Stop it.
I auditioned for it, and I was close. You were so close.
I got really close. That would have been great if you weren't at it.
Two wins for me. I have no control.
As you know, we have no control. No control.
Yeah, yeah. Can we talk about one last movie and then we can go? Yeah.
I don't know. It's a big burp.
Sorry. Okay.
Did you see Nostarov too? Yes. I didn't see it.
Give me your honest opinion. Fine.
It's too dark. I'm a little sick of Nicholas Holt.
And, you know, obviously, what's his name? Is it a brilliant actor? The other guy? What is his name? William Dafoe. He's a brilliant actor.
But I'm just a little sick of, like, I don't know. I just, I'm not, it's not, the scariest thing was when the gypsies were dancing.
No, it's scary. But gypsies dance at all at a party.
I get scared. It didn't have enough camp and fun.
I think horror should have a little light. It was just too much.
Also, Nosarov too, is Lemmy from Motorhead? No. What the fuck are we doing here? I agree with you.
He's not scary at all. No, it's crazy.
He has a mustache. It's like, what the fuck is going on here? The whole thing's stupid.
It opens at the whiskey. He's just drinking at the bar.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm going to say this. She? She's killer.
Steals the movie. What's her name again? Lily Rose Depp.
Lily. Oh, that's Johnny Depp's daughter.
Johnny Depp's daughter. She saves it.
Don't you think? I think she's great. The scary parts.
You know what I mean? Yeah. All that stuff was so good.
I also just think the premise, most people want to get bit and live forever. Like, it's no longer a scary premise anymore that, oh, maybe I'll be immortalized and be a vampire.
People are like, great. People go, hey, I work at Target.
Yeah. They kind of want to be a vampire.
We all kind of live in a vampiric world. It's just what it is.
Walk down Melrose. Everyone looks like a bunch of vampires.
You know my favorite Willem Dafoe scene, by the way?
I don't know if you can find it, is the Boondock Saints.
Is that Boondock Saints where he's snuggling in bed with that guy?
Is that Boondock Saints?
I like Boondock Saints.
Tell me that's wrong.
Wasn't he in that movie?
It is, right?
And he's snuggling in bed with that boyfriend?
Yeah.
That's like one of the funniest scenes of all time.
Oh, it's never going to be up there.
Yeah, he's cuddling.
That's right, cuddling.
He knows what it is.
He goes, I thought you going to be up there.
Yeah, he's cuddling.
That's right, cuddling.
He knows what it is.
He goes, I thought you wanted to cuddle.
Yeah, this is such a great scene.
Hello.
Room number?
We got a time of death. Tim's eating hard.
I'm joking. I got a body count.
The acting is terrible. William Dafoe's amazing.
The other guy, it's not terrible. Terrible acting.
Wait, wait. That's terrible acting.
Wait, wait. Go ahead.
What are you doing? I just wanted to cuddle. Cuddle?
What a fag.
By the way, you and I need to remake this scene.
Yeah, I want to see it. That's 100%.
Is that good at?
That's not good at.
That's bad acting.
No, it's terrible.
That's why it's so funny.
He's a friend of the director.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's a friend.
It's bad.
Start it over real fast, though, just so I can see.
That's you and I in bed.
That's literally you and I in bed.
That's us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can we remake that?
No, Tim.
Yes.
Hello.
Go ahead.
Stop it.
If we didn't know each other, we're at the Abbey. Yes.
Right? Yeah. I just keep thinking that's you and me.
It's so funny. And I look the way I do.
Yeah. Am I someone that you would hit on? I've hung out with Asians.
No, but me specifically. Like, my look.
I don't know. I don't know.
Perhaps. Just be honest.
No. I don't know.
That's a no. It's perhaps.
I don't know. I don't know.
Perhaps.
Just be honest.
No.
I don't know.
That's a no.
It's perhaps.
I don't know.
It's a soft no.
No, it's a specific thing.
I don't know.
All right.
Andrew and I, you don't know us.
We're working at the Abbey.
Okay.
Probably Andrew because he's white.
But that would be the only reason.
Also, do you prefer white men? Well, no, saying You know what I mean I'm just saying Just say he's sexier that's all I'm a big boy There's two different things We're such different kind of guys We're two different guys Also what are our jobs? You said we're working what What am I doing? But there's hot, there's insanely hot Asians, obviously. Oh, right.
I wouldn't be one. No, but I'm just saying insanely hot is a very high standard for anyone.
Okay. You don't think you're insanely hot.
Insanely hot's a tough standard. What's in this Munjaro drug they're giving you? But I mean, you know what I mean? You know? Well, I'm a particular...
Siu Liu. You know him? Yeah.
Right. Come on.
Big difference. I get it.
Come on. Right.
What I'd be doing there is I'm cleaning off the pole. Don't they have poles there? You're always cleaning the poles.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they're dancing or whatever, right? Don't they dance? Yeah.
You clean the poles. Yeah, I clean the poles.
So I'm not sexy to you. I didn't say that.
I said Simu Liu would be an insanely hot Asian person. That's correct.
I mean, that's not a knock on anyone.
It's not even like a lift culturally.
That's such an obvious thing.
I mean, is this a controversial statement?
No.
What are we doing?
You think that's a good looking?
Are you nuts?
That's objectively, am I crazy?
Watch.
Yeah.
Oh, whoa.
Holy shit.
You know what?
Holy shit.
By the way.
What the fuck, dude?
By the way, I'm wrong.
You're kind of right. I got it too, dude.
You're kind of right. By the way, actually, you're kind of right.
Yeah, whoa. Holy shit.
You know what? Holy shit. By the way.
What the fuck, dude? By the way, I'm wrong. You're kind of right.
I got it too, dude.
You're kind of right.
By the way, actually, you're kind of right.
Yeah, dude.
Changed my mind.
Yeah, changed my mind.
Anyway, thanks for having us on.
Thank you.
Thank you, Tim.
Thank you for coming.