425 - Bad Friends

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Speaker 2 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Tim Dylan Show.

Speaker 2 Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, the host of the Bad Friends podcast.

Speaker 2 Thank you for coming.

Speaker 2 I can't see

Speaker 2 because of all the fog. I know.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 it's too, it's, it's too, there's, it's steamed up and foggy.

Speaker 2 Optimus Prime sunglasses. I got these in Las Vegas.
People said they were good. Which people?

Speaker 2 The guy at the store, the black guy in the boots. You said it.
And a lot of Asians. He was an Asian in the store.
Let me tell you something about Asians. Yes.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Let me tell you something about Asians. He knows a lot about Asians.
But I'm going to tell you something about it because I am one. Yeah.
If you don't know, my friend. I do.
Okay.

Speaker 2 It depends on what kind. That's right.
Interesting. That's right.
Which kind told you? What kind of Asian told you? I don't know. Baggy pants, big belt, a lot of zippers.
That's the right kind.

Speaker 2 That's right. That's the right kind.
That's the right kind. That's what I thought.
That was the right kind. That is true.
That's what I thought.

Speaker 2 Because I thought you were going to do the machete one with the brown shorts. They're all cut up.
No. No, no shoes.
Those, they don't know nothing. And those ones, I'm.

Speaker 2 If you want to make a trail in Vietnam, I'm not saying that that's the kind. No, for sure.
No, these were fashionable ones in Vegas with like

Speaker 2 big coats on. This is Balenciaga.
These are good ones. You ever see those ones with a huge coat? Like it's like the nutcracker where they could open it and there'd be others.

Speaker 2 Like it's that type of coat.

Speaker 2 This is Balenciaga. These are Balenciaga, but they're not really.

Speaker 2 What's the price point on these things?

Speaker 2 It's $1,600.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's silly.

Speaker 2 How much do you get paid a month for this show? $70,000.

Speaker 2 No way. There's no way.
No, he gets paid a lot.

Speaker 2 He gets paid six figures. Not a month, but a year.
A year. Wow.
Yeah. Good for you, dude.
Do you get Balenciaga sunglasses? No, but I bought him sneakers. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Nice ones.

Speaker 2 Golden Goose.

Speaker 2 Not Golden Goose. We got

Speaker 2 Nikes.

Speaker 2 But nice Nikes. I don't know.
We don't start with Golden Goose here. What is he, Nikki Glazer? What do you mean golden goose?

Speaker 2 What do you think about the golden globes? She's going to kill it. I think so.
She's done it 100 and 80. I've seen it a bunch, and she's killing it.
Literally 100 names. Bro, her work ethic, dude.

Speaker 2 It's stupid. Yeah.
She's got Asian work ethic. She has Tiger Mom workouts.
She really does. I'm going to take these.
And she would do like three or four sets a night. Five.
Sometimes she'd say five.

Speaker 2 Five.

Speaker 2 Absurd. You would never.
We would never. I would never do that.
I would do it three times, and then I would say, I don't want to hate the jokes, so I'm going to stop trying.

Speaker 2 Well, if you do it too many times, you can't blame the writers. At some point, you can't blame the writers.
Oh, so if you do it little, you can blame the writers. I like that.
Right.

Speaker 2 You do it less, you blame them. You do it more, it's you.
You did it.

Speaker 2 We saw her do it. We did

Speaker 2 ice house store. She went to the improv, the fastest.
I've seen her in every room doing it. Unbelievable.
I want to apologize about the machete trails thing earlier. No, of course.

Speaker 2 No, it's already out there. But everyone knew what you meant.
I didn't know. I didn't mean anything, but I haven't two hours of sleep.
Yes. And in retrospect, I go, no,

Speaker 2 everyone would know. All Asians would know about your glasses.
Yeah, no, no, no. And I didn't, when you said machete, I didn't even think you meant a real machete.
I thought you meant it was

Speaker 2 a feature sheet. Okay.
Just describing a certain type of personality. When you go to Vegas, do you gamble too or no? Yeah, baccarat.
You are Asian. I play baccarat.
That is, that's Asian game. Hi, and

Speaker 2 you mahjong? I don't do that. I do baccarat.

Speaker 2 Baccarat is the best ads, best odds in the casino because it's 50-50.

Speaker 2 Right. And it's a fun game.
You do banker always or player? Always banker. Always banker.
I always bet banker. Me too.
Baccarat. Baccarat.
I like it. It's fun.

Speaker 2 And it's a game you can sit for an hour or two and have fun, and you're up a few and down a few. Bobby doesn't gamble.
But you know what's fun?

Speaker 2 Well, you gamble in life, I guess, less so than on a table. No gambling at all? That's right.
Can't. Well, I have.
I'm just not good at it. But you're also an addict.
You can't get trapped.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I can't get trapped under

Speaker 2 so much money. I'm an addict too, but I'm confident I won't get addicted to baccarat.
That's a great greatest last word. That's one that's one thing I go.

Speaker 2 If I do get addicted to baccarat, like that's how it should end.

Speaker 2 Well, you hear those rumors, you hear those rumors of comics, and I'm not speaking ill of the dead because he's the best, but I heard stories that Norm would make them give him a check to the casino to play out.

Speaker 2 Wow. You know, like instead of like, pay me, just pay me in chips or whatever.
Pay me in chips. I don't know if that's a true story, but I love the idea that he was like, just put it down.

Speaker 2 Do you remember my dice story? No, what? I was working the back door in the late 90s. Okay.
The late 90s? The late 90s, man.

Speaker 2 What's so funny, guy? It's all right. That's just the late 90s.
I didn't know if that was like a period of time, like a dimension we couldn't access as white people. I was like, oh, the late 90s.

Speaker 2 So I'm working the back door. I don't know dice at all.
He comes up to me and he goes, hey, Ching. That's what he used to call me.

Speaker 2 Really? But not in a racist way. No, no, not at all.
It was Cha-Ching. Cha-Ching.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. He's like, it's not racist.
It's Chi-Ching. Money guy.
Money guy. Gotcha.
And he goes, Chi-Ching. I go, Bahabi, Ching.
And then he goes,

Speaker 2 we're going. I go, going where? He goes, to Vegas.

Speaker 2 He went to the management and goes, I'm taking the little Chinese guy. He didn't know I was Korean.
Right. To Vegas right now.
So I literally,

Speaker 2 no toothbrush, no clothes. No problem.
I literally get on a plane with him. He goes, you're good luck.

Speaker 2 He lost $850,000

Speaker 2 in 12 hours.

Speaker 2 And then when we got back, he didn't talk to me for three years.

Speaker 2 of course yeah well it was a nightmare was that your fault i think so i think i gave him bad energy there yeah and it was the first time where i go oh stars can do anything because we were at the gate at lax yeah and he just lit up a cigarette oh yeah at the gate yeah and i go you can do that he goes i can and he's just started smoking but he can and then they said put it out and just threw it and pop put it down right i go that's amazing that day is gone by the way that day is gone and you'll see that in the golden globes tonight i'm sure yeah You think so?

Speaker 2 Those days are dead. You don't have the power you used to have.
Yeah, but

Speaker 2 we got to get the power back.

Speaker 2 Like Public Enemy said. No, no, no.
Well, that's not what they were talking about.

Speaker 2 They didn't mean that.

Speaker 2 They weren't talking about that. They didn't mean that.
I don't really know their lyrics, but

Speaker 2 what do they mean then? Teach me. Well, I think they meant more power to the people.

Speaker 2 I don't think they were talking about like Jennifer Anniston. Yeah, but

Speaker 2 you don't think they were fighting for

Speaker 2 the Hollywood elites to get power back? That's my guess. They weren't referring to Tilda Swinton.
Okay, so Tim, let me ask you a question, friend. Okay.
And I want your little advice. Yeah, please.

Speaker 2 I'm with the date. Yeah.
We go to fucking Boiling Crab. Why do you like that place so much? In Hollywood? Boiling Crab? No, we went to one in Northridge.
He loves that. He loves Boiling Crab.

Speaker 2 I love Crabs Boiled. He loves Boiled Crabs.
Okay, okay. And that's my thing.
So anyway. It's great.
So the one in Hawaii, Tim, okay?

Speaker 2 For years, I've been doing selfies there. You've seen my selfies.

Speaker 2 I got the Boiling Crab in Hawaii. I know they owe you money.
They owe me money. Then the corporate, right, would text me back, like DM me back and go, thank you for publicizing.

Speaker 2 I take a date to the fucking Northrop. Everyone in the fucking lobby.
Doesn't look good. Everyone in the lobby recognizes me, right? Okay.

Speaker 2 Staff, I still had to wait an hour and a half.

Speaker 2 That's not right.

Speaker 2 Be honest. No, that's not right.
I take the power back. Well, the reality is you need a contact at the restaurant.

Speaker 2 Uh-uh. He doesn't get in like that.
I don't get in that way. He walks in and he wants them to go possibly.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not. That is.

Speaker 2 That is. That's not what I'm saying.
No, what I'm saying is that maybe 45 minutes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, that's. No, no, no.
You shouldn't wait at all. Bobby, you can't say, I'll wait 45 minutes because then you're just saying, I'll wait an hour and a half.
It's the same thing. It's the same thing.

Speaker 2 You need to contact at the restaurant where you have a table when you walk in. Ah, fucked up.
It's a whole thing. Yeah, he doesn't create these relationships.
That's it's kind of what I like.

Speaker 2 But we will walk into places together on the road, and his his energy immediately gets us.

Speaker 2 It's a pure energy that you don't even know anything about. And I'm gonna tell you something else, my friend.
Learn, Tim. This is for you to learn.
I'm gonna teach you some shit right now, dude.

Speaker 2 In Idaho, remember we were in Idaho or whatever? Yeah, we had a guy call a fancy restaurant, and then not only did they say no, they go, we don't even want these guys in the building.

Speaker 2 That's right, really?

Speaker 2 They were not interested. So fucking rude.
What's that place called? I don't remember.

Speaker 2 Why do you think that that is? He's only got a brand of humor. They're more bargainatzi people, I guess.
They were Nate fans. They had a banner of him in the front lobby.

Speaker 2 But it's odd that they would ban you from the restaurant. They just didn't want.
They didn't care to host us is what they said. Oh.
They didn't care. Wow.
Which is which we, that's fine.

Speaker 2 At least we know where we stand with these people. That's interesting.
Then there's places we go that are very, we call and say, hey, the show gets out late. They suck our dicks.

Speaker 2 Is there any way we can pay you to keep it open? Because we'll bring a crew of people. There are restaurants where I'm treated nice.
Yeah. And allowed.
We're in L.A.

Speaker 2 Where in L.A., you're treated nice. I know.
I know his spots. No, Boo, Malibu, they're good to me usually.
But

Speaker 2 occasionally, sometimes they can't be. Ocean Prime loves you.
Ocean Prime loves me. He's VIP there.
I love an Ocean Prime.

Speaker 2 You go with this guy. You treat me like you're not.

Speaker 2 You never take me to Ocean Prime. Well, because I go there, and you know who's sitting next to me at the table next to me is Latoya Jackson.
If you want to live that life, you come with me.

Speaker 2 You want to eat shrimp cocktail with me and Latoya Jackson? Because that's what's left. Everyone thinks, oh, Hollywood stars.
Here's what's left. Latoya.

Speaker 2 Latoya Jackson and myself eating shellfish in the afternoon. That's what it's here now.
How about bringing the tour buses around? Let's bring them around and you can see it.

Speaker 2 So, Ocean Prime, Nobu, Melibu, what else? Austria Moza, Nancy Silverton's joint

Speaker 2 on Melrose and Highland. That's a good one.
The fountain room at the Beverly Hills Hotel, that little diner. Polo Lounge.
That's a great polo lounge. Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 2 He's exclusive at every place that people are. There's some places he probably doesn't get treated well, though.
Of course.

Speaker 2 I bet your buffet is.

Speaker 2 No, it's

Speaker 2 like, sure.

Speaker 2 What buffet in LA would not have that thing? It wasn't a fat thing. It was just, what was it?

Speaker 2 If it wasn't, it wasn't. It came out fat.

Speaker 2 It came out fat, but it was more like...

Speaker 2 I just assume. But wouldn't they, don't they want the fat people at the buffets? No.
No, no, no. No, they do, though.
No, they want me there because I'm not going to eat that much.

Speaker 2 But they knew you're not going. That's right.
They knew you're not going to be able to do that. They made peace with it.
They made peace with it.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry about that. Bobby's got a confidence now that I'm in love with because the Ozempic, or I'm sorry, the other one, whatever it's called, we go V.
We go V. Has kicked in.

Speaker 2 He's lost a significant amount of weight. His confidence is through the roof.
The dating pool has expanded. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's got this vibe to him of like a kind of, he's a little bit into like a high school bully again.

Speaker 2 He's got the swagger of a high school bully. You want me to put you in a locker? See? That's good.
He'll do it. I'll put you in a locker and put you wedge in.

Speaker 2 If there's a locker nearby, he will throw someone in it. I like people do dude.
But that's good. I like the idea of that of you kind of embracing kind of that tough guy image.
Tough guy.

Speaker 2 I'm a bully, bro. Yeah.
No, just starting fights. Yeah.

Speaker 2 like i would pick you up upside down stick your head in the toilet but you're too fat like i was all right yeah i mean that's that's uncalled for

Speaker 2 i crossed the line again i don't like that

Speaker 2 what medication makes that okay that's

Speaker 2 that's that's not

Speaker 2 there's no way that novo that was my bad sorry yeah that was my bad somebody better sue that company from the the netherlands what is it novo nordic it's a side effect of wagovi yeah it's the side effect i'm sorry you get delusions delusions of grandeur.

Speaker 2 A side effect of Wagovi is just abusing people in the streets.

Speaker 2 Wigovi does have, he did have some bad side effects on the first one. Yeah.
Ozimpic. He threw up for like four days straight.
It was gnarly. It was unbelievable.

Speaker 2 We have footage of it. It's like the shop.
We're doing a promo. You have footage of the vomiting.

Speaker 2 We were shooting a promo. For Ozempic.

Speaker 2 For vomiting. For tour, and legitimately.
He threw up for like an entire like 30 to 40 seconds straight. 48 hours of constant vomiting.
It was wild to watch. Interesting.
It's cool to see it going.

Speaker 2 I'm going to tell you what happened. Can I tell you what happened? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like Santa Clarita Diet where she becomes a zombie. He's close.
The first 48 hours, she just vomits. Underrated show, by the way.
It was a great show. I loved it.
Was it great?

Speaker 2 You didn't watch it. Yeah.
That's a squid game, too. You know what we both watched together that we like that we want to talk about? Yeah.
We both separately went to the theater to go watch

Speaker 2 Bob Dylan, A Complete Unknown. I'm sorry.
How was it? Yeah, Complete Unknown. A complete unknown.
Honestly?

Speaker 2 Yeah, go first. Let's go to the second.
Huge Huge crush on that kid. Everyone's saying that it's a great movie.

Speaker 2 He's fantastic.

Speaker 2 She's good. Monica Barbero.
Monica

Speaker 2 Monica Babetta. Is that her name? Yeah.
She's fantastic. The movie's great.
It's just, you just give the kid credit because he did it. I can't believe he did it.

Speaker 2 I worked with Monica Barbero on a split. So why wouldn't he do it, though? What, Splitting Up Together? Yeah, she was on Splitting Up Together.

Speaker 2 And even then, I knew, oh, I'm never going to see this person again. Now, here's why.
She was just good. No, because she got Maverick while we're shooting.

Speaker 2 Here's why he should have done it. I've never had that experience with anyone I've been on set with.
Everyone I'm on set with, I go, I will see them again probably at the improv.

Speaker 2 Like, I know it's going down.

Speaker 2 Everyone I've done a film with, I'm like, it's going bad for them. And it's going to get so bad where they start calling me and asking me questions.
I have a reversal of that.

Speaker 2 I have one that she was a

Speaker 2 not even a regular. She was kind of like, was trying to make her a regular.
They kind of lied to her.

Speaker 2 And she didn't have a a lot of air time on I did that on dying up here show Yeah, and afterwards she fucking exploded She's on that Ginny in Georgia show Brianne Howie is her name huge dude.

Speaker 2 So she's huge She was a waitress on our show barely featured by the way She's great. She's fantastic.
She just did Ginny in Georgia.

Speaker 2 She's great in that so good and she just did that new Schumer thing.

Speaker 2 She's so good, but that's a story where you're like wow She flipped the she was so downtrotten from the show not putting her on the air.

Speaker 2 And then afterwards I thought, I wonder how she's doing and you know, 80 million followers on Instagram with her. Sometimes it just turns.
It flipped fast. It flipped.
We're waiting for that flip.

Speaker 2 I think Gaga has flipped with Joker. I think it's done.
Yeah, it's over. I believe it's over.
She had a reason the other way. I believe she would.
That's what I mean.

Speaker 2 If you're on set with me, it's over. That's not true.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go to Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim. Who else were you on camera with that could fall potentially? I think Joaquin will survive.
Maybe. I think Brendan Gleason's out.
I think he's back to Ireland.

Speaker 2 That's it. Yeah.
Sorry. Love him, but I think we've had enough of that.
That folks, he kind of like,

Speaker 2 art her sing a song for us, not next.

Speaker 2 And I think Gaga's done, but

Speaker 2 I want to say something, okay? Number two, okay? Number one, I know people that like that movie. The Joker, whoa, yeah, yeah, cool.

Speaker 2 Okay, we also, it could be one of those movies, it might stand the test of time, and 10 years from now, it could be genius. No, no, okay, I don't know.

Speaker 2 But by the way, I okay, thank you. Oh, yeah, and also, I want to say something about the A Complete Unknown because I didn't say my opinion.
Yeah, please.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? Say it. We want to hear it.

Speaker 2 He looks good. He looks real good.
Okay, so

Speaker 2 first of all, Monica Barbero was also a guest star on Splitting Up Together. She wasn't, you know, a regular.
And now look at her. She's killing it.

Speaker 2 And number two, let me tell you about a complete unknown. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I didn't want to go. My friend Gene wanted to go.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 We sat in the theater. I'm a huge Bob Dylan fan, always have been.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 As soon as you see him on screen, you go, oh, this is going to be good. It's Bob Dylan.
It's Bob Dylan. It looks like Bob Dylan.

Speaker 2 He

Speaker 2 kills it. Right.
Yeah. That's what I've heard.
Better than Rami Malachi. He did great as queen, right? Two completely different people.
Yeah, he is. Hold it.
Austin Butler, great Elvis, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I liked it. I liked it.
I liked it. I liked it.
I liked it. But I'll tell you, goodbye.
This dude kills it.

Speaker 2 We went to Graceland. Yeah.
This felt real good. We went to Graceland.
The woman giving us a tour was shocked because teenage kids kids were there, high school kids, college kids.

Speaker 2 They're like, what are they doing?

Speaker 2 But they're looking at us and they're like, no, you were the only one there. Me and the crew.
He was sleeping. But they were like, bad friends, bad friends.

Speaker 2 The woman gives us the tour goes, I'm sorry, I don't know who you are. And I was like, oh, we just do a podcast.
And she goes, you know, it's weird. People know you here.

Speaker 2 I had Austin Butler here, and not one person recognized him or said hello. And that felt Andrew Santino is big than Austin Butler.
That's right. I'll say it.

Speaker 2 I'll say it. That felt bigger.
It felt good. It felt good.
Yeah, it felt real nice. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They've closed off.

Speaker 2 We're recording this the day they're doing the Golden Globes. They've closed off like, I don't know, 17 blocks.
It feels excessive. It's too many.
It feels excessive.

Speaker 2 I said to the cops, I go, is this a prime terrorist threat?

Speaker 2 Is this, if you want to hurt America, do you bomb the Golden Globes? Yeah. Well, that's actually.
You know what I mean? That's an international. No, you do the Academy Awards.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I just don't think the Golden Globes are a real threat. No, look at all the street closures.
I mean, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 They want to shut the whole city down. Wow.
The whole thing is insane.

Speaker 2 But this is, but this is the. Because the comics have done that gig.
It's a tough gig, right? Koi had a tough time.

Speaker 2 Because it's a weird gig. It depends how you see it.
Yeah, but that's different. Joe got that gig with

Speaker 2 airing. Right.
No, no, no. I'm not even blaming him.
I would never want to. It's like the worst gig ever.
It's a weird gig. Would you take it? I wouldn't.
Would you take it? They would never ask.

Speaker 2 They would never ask. I mean, hypothetically.
No, because it's not. The hypothetical is that they would.
But I wouldn't belong in. No, I don't.

Speaker 2 I don't think it would make sense for me to do it. Why would we? I would do billboards if that was still around.

Speaker 2 I would, there's things like

Speaker 2 that. Yeah.
Yeah. Maybe.
I don't know. I would do.

Speaker 2 People's choice. Did they do the Apollo have awards ceremony? I would love that.
I would love Soul Train Awards. Soul Train Awards.

Speaker 2 There was a skirmish at one of them recently. It was kind of a melee.
By the way, the best white word about an all-black fight is a skirmish. A skirmish.
There's a skirmish out there happening.

Speaker 2 A melee.

Speaker 2 Something happened. That was like out there.

Speaker 2 This is my buddy who was on the train in Chicago, and he hears these two dudes are on the subway, and the one guy's like, hey, yo, and he recognizes his friend. He goes, oh, what's up, man?

Speaker 2 He goes, man, whatever happened to Charles or whatever the guy's name was. He goes, whatever happened to Charles? He goes, oh, man, Charles is dead, man.
And the guy goes, oh, shit, what happened?

Speaker 2 And real calmly, he goes, it was a dispute.

Speaker 2 Wow. Validated.
And like, he asked like as if it was like, oh, yeah, it's no big deal. Hosting 2025 Golden Gloves.
Joe Coy bombing and roasting Amelia Perez. I don't even know what I was watching.

Speaker 2 What is that? She's commenting about it? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's her quote about... It's so unfair.

Speaker 2 But why would she comment about Joe's performance prior? Is that her quote? I don't know if that's her quote. Oh, no, but it does say, I don't even know what I was watching.

Speaker 2 I think, look, learning from Joe Coi bombing and roasting Amelia Perez.

Speaker 2 See, I wouldn't, that's the thing. I don't want to do the, I wouldn't want to do this shit because I don't.
We have no business in that business. I have no business there.

Speaker 2 Well, that's the thing is, like, the same thing with the politicians. If they were giving awards out at Mar-a-Lago, oh, you're there.
And they wanted a host. You.

Speaker 2 This makes sense. Yeah.
The Golden Globe's not so much. What could me and Bob host?

Speaker 2 Genuinely.

Speaker 2 What public awards? I think they have very fun tech awards. Tech Awards would be fun tech.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Pep Boys if they had a

Speaker 2 stop doing it. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Autozone's got a whole new.
Oh, yeah, something like that. I hosted the Asian Excellence Awards.
twice. That's pretty cool.
It's so funny to me, dude.

Speaker 2 Where do they have that?

Speaker 2 Hey, man, hey, man. At Din Ty Feng in the mall.
Where does the Asian

Speaker 2 words happen?

Speaker 2 Hey, man. Fuck you, man.
Mr. Chows.

Speaker 2 Outside of Mr. Chows on Beverly.

Speaker 2 And is it Aquafina? No, no, stop. It's Cam.
He was at the Wilturn. Is that good enough? That's good.
Okay, can I also say something else, dude? Yes. You think it was just a bunch of Asians? Yeah.
Yes.

Speaker 2 No. No.
Tarantino did a thing.

Speaker 2 He's Asian. Yeah, Danny DeVito did a thing.
They're all Asian. These guys are all Asian.
He smells like an Asian, right? Ralph Macio was there. Another Asian.

Speaker 2 Well, he's got to be there. Yeah.
If Ralph Macchio doesn't show up for the Asians, that's crazy. Yeah, he's got to be there.
Yeah, of course. Yeah, Ralph Macchio is coming out for the Asians.

Speaker 2 Thank you. He should say thank you.
So would you

Speaker 2 Google a photo of me and the Asian Excellence Awards, please? Please Google a photo for me. And by the way, you should have done it already.
Because

Speaker 2 Asian Excellence Awards. Alliteration.
Yeah. And did you enjoy it? Was it fun? Good experience? Well, let me see if there's a photo on there.

Speaker 2 Yeah. There's oh, there, that, that's one, yeah, no,

Speaker 2 that one right there, you know, that with Kelly Huhu, that one, no, the first row, there, but that was it, yeah, yeah, no shirt, you know, that's how I do it, 2008, yeah, yeah, okay, but crischer,

Speaker 2 ladies and gentlemen, boot crischer

Speaker 2 the machine,

Speaker 2 the machine

Speaker 2 anyway, um, crazy topic, it's hard to do. A word stress

Speaker 2 seemed tough. Also, it wasn't televised and no one really was at it.
Did you read off a cue card?

Speaker 2 What are you supposed to be saying?

Speaker 2 Were you reading cue cards? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's wild.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Netflix roast that we all just did.
It was fun. How was that? It was an abomination, but it was fun.
We had fun.

Speaker 2 I love Mark and Sam, and we all had it happening. You've never done a roast, huh? It wasn't a real roast.

Speaker 2 It wasn't a real roast. It was roasting the year.
It wasn't a roast. Like, it wasn't a real thing.
It was like we roasted the year.

Speaker 2 Right. So they weren't roasting topics.
Yeah, right. They asked us to do it.
Like drones.

Speaker 2 They asked us to do it.

Speaker 2 I said I would do it if they let me dress up like the CEO got shot, and they did. And I didn't think they would.
It was one of those. Yeah, I saw that.

Speaker 2 It was one of those things where I said, I said to my manager, I go, let's just, they'll never let this happen, so I won't have to do it.

Speaker 2 And then they actually let it happen. It was fantastic.
So then I had to do it. They asked us to do it.
We said no, thank you.

Speaker 2 I will say my Netflix. They asked us.
They did, but we're also, we're not. And no, thank you is the right right move.
But they were Netflix, so we were both doing Hulu stuff, too.

Speaker 2 So I just, I feel like that was a weird. I was like, I don't want to.

Speaker 2 I would have done a Netflix if they asked. Yeah.
They did. We said no.
No, a special. Yeah, this wasn't a special.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 This was not a special. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then Jeff announced that he has cancer. Well, he's better now.
Oh, so he's gone. He beat it.
He beat it. I knew when he had it, and I texted him.
I was so concerned. Once you have it.

Speaker 2 He got rid of it? Who? Eddie Pepaton. Really? Yeah.
like two weeks ago, someone at a party and he goes, I was meaning to tell you, but I couldn't tell you, but I got it out. I go, what?

Speaker 2 He goes, I had colon cancer. Wow.
I don't know if I should even say that out loud because it's kind of private. Yeah, well,

Speaker 2 I don't know. What do you think? Did he tell you not to talk about it? He never said anything.
So then it's fine. Are you sure? Yeah, because it's heroic.
It's a hero's journey. He won.
He won.

Speaker 2 Oh, he won.

Speaker 2 And we all love Eddie. We love him.
He's the bat. He's my favorite guy.
I love him so much. Yeah.
But, you know, it's so sad.

Speaker 2 I mean, you can, I mean, you know, we we should be more mindful and more grateful that we're around each other and alive. Yes.
Well, that never happens. Yeah.
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 Well, it's always that thing where you, you know, you ever, you're in bad turbulence on a plane or you're whatever, whatever it is where you feel like you've had a brush with death. It never sticks.

Speaker 2 No. Because the human condition is to be petty and small-minded because you can't think about the big things all the time.
You'll become insufferable. Right.

Speaker 2 Can we do a moment of silence for the Korean air crash? Oh, yes. I didn't even realize.
For which, for what?

Speaker 2 The Korean air crash.

Speaker 2 The one that went off the runway into the building. It wasn't Korean air.

Speaker 2 Jeju air. Yeah, Jeju.
It was Jeju. It's a Korean on.
They're like our spirit. It happened in Korean.

Speaker 2 It was sad. Okay, let's do a moment of silence.
You have to say Korean airport.

Speaker 2 And I want to ask you something. Very seriously, did you know anyone on the plane?

Speaker 2 Because I'm asking you. Chances are high, to be honest.
I don't know if you know anyone on the plane. And I'm trying to, because it is a terrible thing.
It's awful. No, well,

Speaker 2 Tim, we're not doing it yet. Oh, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2 Now, did they blame they blamed the barrier, right? Didn't they say the barrier?

Speaker 2 They actually blamed the wall. The wall, yeah, the wall.
They blamed the wall. It wasn't anything.
It wasn't the malfunctional. No, it was the wall.
If that wall wasn't there, it wouldn't explode it.

Speaker 2 No, the plane would just keep going. It would keep going.
Slow down nicely. Slow down nicely.
Say that phrase again. If the wall wasn't there,

Speaker 2 this wouldn't have happened. This wouldn't happen.
That's right. This is the Israel-Palestine thing all over again.
There we go.

Speaker 2 That's a tough. That's a tough photo.
Just the tail. It's the charred tail of a plane.
I'm going to show you a photo.

Speaker 2 By the way, you have a photo of the year of 2025 already. What do you think? Is the burning cyber truck outside of Trump Tower? I want it framed in my house.
It's huge. It's beautiful.

Speaker 2 The cyber truck on fire outside of Trump Tower. It's golden.
It's gorgeous. It's just like, what a perfect.

Speaker 2 Look at how good that photo is. It's a great photo.
I want that in my living room. Something's up with that.
I don't know what. We're not there yet.
We're not there yet. We're there planning it.

Speaker 2 There's more to come.

Speaker 2 Something feels weird about the whole time we're in. That's a beautiful animal.
Well, tell him about the story of the animal. You know what this? He texted me yesterday.
Was that dog on the plane? No.

Speaker 2 Okay. This dog.
He was flying the plane. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This was lunch.

Speaker 2 You're not going to eat me.

Speaker 2 No, Shibu Inu crashes. Yeah, yeah.
No, this dog had nine family members on that flight that died.

Speaker 2 And now he's just sitting there at the airport going,

Speaker 2 Bobby.

Speaker 2 No, I'm just, this is the dog. The dog.

Speaker 2 So the dog, the dog wasn't on the flight. No, he was at the airport.

Speaker 2 You know?

Speaker 2 And like, and then what is it? You're allowed to eat them now, maybe. I don't know.
Yeah, you can. Well,

Speaker 2 it is actually. That's.
It's so super sad. By the way,

Speaker 2 it's one of those things. Do we even need to know this? It's like we're making it even sadder.
Why do, who's doing this? Yeah.

Speaker 2 A plane incinerated, hundreds of people died, and we need to find this story. Who wrote that? People magazine? Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 Listen to this. There are many people who mourn the deceased family and want to help pudding by adopting him.
This dog's name is Pudding, and its entire family was burned alive in a plane.

Speaker 2 That's what you're working. If you're a journalist, that's what you're doing now.
By the way, a little controversial. I'm sure there's a turtle there.
Like, why don't I get covered? Of course.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Of course.

Speaker 2 Maybe someone that had a frog. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 This is very.

Speaker 2 That's an listen to this they never return the organization wrote and the empty house they left behind was haunted by their five-year-old grandpa's pet dog pudding pudding would stare at every car that drove into town and the locals would feed him out of sympathy for the loss of his family that's sad i mean it's terrible their name is terrible too yeah pudding is not great but grandpa's like one day you're gonna be pudding yeah you're going to make your pudding

Speaker 2 One day, you will be pudding. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You work hard Yeah, yeah. They never return.
This is awful. I told him, I said, let's adopt a dog.
We try to find a way to get a hold of it. We'll take the dog.
We'll take pudding.

Speaker 2 But this is the thing. They wrote the story with no intention on helping the dog.
They don't give a fuck. No, the dog is already dead.
It's gone.

Speaker 2 The dog is down.

Speaker 2 They put that dog down. They put it down.
That dog is down. You think so? Pudding's down.
Yeah, yeah. Pudding's down.
Pudding is down. As of this writing, pudding is down.

Speaker 2 There is no way pudding is still around.

Speaker 2 Pudding is down

Speaker 2 as of this recording. Pudding is gone.
It's terrible. That's so terrible.
But let's do a moment of silence like you wanted. For pudding and the rest of the people.
Well, mostly for pudding.

Speaker 2 I'm going to speak in Korean if I may. Please.
I would love that.

Speaker 2 Did you call me fat again?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Keep going.

Speaker 2 Pudding. Habodaji.

Speaker 2 Habodaji.

Speaker 2 Yeah, fat.

Speaker 2 What do you think happens in Korea now? Do you think they do they is there any like how do you mourn in Korea? Yeah, what do you guys have racism?

Speaker 2 No, Bobby, it's not because I never heard in my fucking life Bobby, I don't know

Speaker 2 I don't know how they mourn do you have wakes? Like you know how they do the irritation? That's what I mean. I'm like, how do you do it? They would do a funny dance or something? What do you mean?

Speaker 2 Well, I don't know. I'm just saying, do, is it, is it, is it.
Show us the dance. Is it upbeat?

Speaker 2 Show us us the funeral.

Speaker 2 Is it upbeat? Is it giggling? They have a little dance.

Speaker 2 Oh, right. Well, that's nice.
Yeah. Well, it's closure.
Out of respect for the dead.

Speaker 2 Because do you know what?

Speaker 2 No, leave it. So dumb.
Leave that in. Yeah, yeah, I'm not putting that in.

Speaker 2 No, but there's no,

Speaker 2 we have cure ducks.

Speaker 2 Bobby, I'm not sure. We have cure ducks.
I'm not saying that. And we have emotions like you, white fucks.
I'm not saying that Asians aren't human. I know.
That is a little bit sad. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 They're not as big as humans.

Speaker 2 You're tear ducks are human. I'm not saying that Asians are not people.
No, you're simply asking what the custom was. Yeah.
But I'll tell you what the saddest thing is. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And my therapist says I have to stop doing this. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Which is, I'll.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 she goes, you're like,

Speaker 2 I obsessed over the morning of people. Sure.
Right. So it's like, I've been watching all night long.
So what they did was all the family members were at the airport, just staying there in tents.

Speaker 2 So awful. Now, can I ask a question? Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Bobby, why are they in tents at the airport that's crazy yeah go home if you called me and said your family just died in a plane crash i would never go camp at an airport that's what i mean there are differences bobby there are cultural differences you're right sorry right but they also you know we care about the remains So do we.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we all. I don't know.
I don't think so. We ship the people.
But the Koreans care about the remains more than white people do. So you're camping at the airport.

Speaker 2 Where in the airport are they camping?

Speaker 2 Just

Speaker 2 the government set up these tenting cities. Can you imagine

Speaker 2 in the Delta Lounge? That's what I mean. Yeah, some people.
By the way, no offense to the people that perished or their relatives.

Speaker 2 There are people that paid a lot of money to fly a luxury carrier, perhaps to London or Dubai, that don't want to see tents of crying people on their way to the plane.

Speaker 2 So, Bobby, if I spend money to have a first-class ticket on Korean Air, which is a phenomenal carrier,

Speaker 2 I don't want to walk through tragedy and horror on my way into the plane. Let's forget about it.
Move on. Yeah.
Move on. I never even thought about that.
And I guess you're right.

Speaker 2 I'm backing you up. Look how terrible this looks.
This looks like LA. That's it.
So these yellow tents. But here's what's sad about.
How does this help? It doesn't help.

Speaker 2 But they want to be there to see if they can find like a toe or something. Is that really what's going on? Yeah, yeah.
Bobby, that's morbid and sick. This is so sick.

Speaker 2 This is kind of sick. Why don't you come and let's camp and then try to find your cousins? Well, what I do is sicker.
I'm going to tell you what I do. Okay.
Right? So when,

Speaker 2 I don't know why I'm laughing, but when the guy, you know what I mean, you know, he's he's the CEO or somebody that worked for the airline, he's like naming names, people that deceased.

Speaker 2 Right? You can hear people yelp in the background. Yeah.
So he'll be like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 And I'll just keep watching it over and over again. Now there's people that are angry.
Can we do that? Why could I cry? I want to see this because these are, and now these people are very angry.

Speaker 2 This is so awful.

Speaker 2 The bereaved are at breaking point.

Speaker 2 These outbursts happen every few minutes. We better get miles for this.
That's what he's saying. He goes,

Speaker 2 These tents aren't big.

Speaker 2 Just yelling at a desk agent.

Speaker 2 Why have only five bodies? If I don't get free drinks on the next flight, I'm going to fucking lose it. Right.

Speaker 2 This is so terrible.

Speaker 2 It's terrible.

Speaker 2 This is terrible. Okay, all joking aside.
All joking aside. Honestly, honestly,

Speaker 2 but this is what's so awful is they have to sit in a room and cry and yell people. Well, this is what I don't don't understand.
It's terrible.

Speaker 2 What I don't understand is why these people aren't with lawyers. Yes, sue.

Speaker 2 I would be with a lawyer. But this is an American culture.
This is what he was asking you. Morgan and Morgan.
Well, we don't do it there. We don't do it there.
You don't sue? I don't think so.

Speaker 2 I would be, if you called me right now

Speaker 2 and said your family was incinerated in a crash, I would put you on hold and call a lawyer. Yeah, immediately.

Speaker 2 Immediately.

Speaker 2 I would not go to a tent. And I'll tell you why they don't have to do that.

Speaker 2 Because Koreans are already, it's inherent in their company they already know they're going to get paid out okay well that by the way that's good

Speaker 2 i just made that up but i'm assuming god bless the dead in korea because that is that's tragic and awful no and by the way this is all we're not making light of this at all i think air travel is terrible and i think it's it's gotten worse it's gotten worse i predicted it i predicted it years ago it's coming from look look look it's pudding Now we go back to pudding.

Speaker 2 By the way, can you Google how many in the last two months? I'm not kidding. So the amount of air crashes and stuff that's going on.
There's landing gear issues. Lots of things can't land.

Speaker 2 What's going going on, Boeing? We fly every week. Are you nervous? I'm so nervous.
I leave in three days. You leave in two days.
I'm very nervous. Where are you going? I'm freaking out.

Speaker 2 He's going to Florida. I'm going to New York or Florida.
Yeah, it sucks. I go to New York, then I go to Florida again.
You have a gig in Jeju. Oh, you're going to Jeju? Yeah, Florida.
Oh, that's fine.

Speaker 2 Both of the two December 2024 crashes happened when landing. Both of them were landing gear issues.
Oh, my God. And they both happened in December.

Speaker 2 People think when you're landing, you're in the clear. You are not.
It's actually the most dangerous time of the flight. By far.
And when you're up, it's fine. And here's the other thing.

Speaker 2 If you've ever, like, whatever, seen pilots when they're landing, either on a YouTube video or if you're in a jet where you could see them or whatever, that's when they're working. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Because when they're up there, they're just chilling. But when they're landing, they're like, fuck, this could go bad.
The engine was damaged after hitting.

Speaker 2 Talent had the worst flight of our lives in a small jet going from Amsterdam to London. It was a 33-minute flight.
The last four to five minutes of it, we could not land. We got to 700 feet.

Speaker 2 It was crazy. We had to go back up.
Then we landed in Birmingham, which is like, you know, three-hour car right away. And we went up through a storm.

Speaker 2 And the Russian flight attendant was just sitting there expressionless. Two French pilots, thin guys, exactly what you want, thin, just working.

Speaker 2 At the end, when we landed, I said, how many landings are worse than that?

Speaker 2 The guy said, I've been flying 23 years. I said, how many landings are worse than that? He goes, very few, maybe none.
Oh, my God. And this, and pilots always underplay always.
Always.

Speaker 2 And these two guys were like, very few, maybe none. like, it was bad.
Sam Talon said it perfectly. He goes, that was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me as an adult.
Wow.

Speaker 2 I've done two touch and goes. You know, you have to touch and take back off.
I did that in Vegas, and that was one of the worst fucking, because if the heat is too high in Vegas, right?

Speaker 2 If it's like over 100 and something, it's really hard for them to land. So he's landing in the wind, and it's crazy.
And he goes all the way down, and we touch, and then we go right back up.

Speaker 2 And immediately everyone's on their phone. See ya.
Bye. Love you.
This is it. This is definitely how it goes.
Circle around. We did it again.
I fucking hated it.

Speaker 2 I hated so much landing. Whoa, oh,

Speaker 2 when it's going down, do you know how you're going to be? I'm going to be thinking about you. No, but what do you do? Do you scream? No.
No. No, you can't.
It's internal?

Speaker 2 For me, when I was on the thing with talent, when we were landing the second time, it was such a crazy storm and it wasn't good. I was thinking to myself, I was so in it.

Speaker 2 Like I was watching, like, are we going to get to the runway? Cause the plane's going like this.

Speaker 2 And I was so in it. I'm like, are we going to do it? Are we going to do it? I wasn't even thinking like, this is it.
There was a thought. I was like, this could be it.
Right. But I was so in it.

Speaker 2 I'm like, are they going to do it? You're kind of rooting for the pilot. Yeah.
I say root for them till the end.

Speaker 2 Root them. Root, root, root.
Root for them till the end. Okay.
You know? Yeah. It was more this year than other years.
Is that what it says? Wow. Why is that? The case, though?

Speaker 2 Because Boeing is something's going on. Boeing, something's going on.
They killed all the whistleblowers. There's too many people flying.
Everybody's mad. Go to an airport.
Everyone looks pissed.

Speaker 2 Everybody looks missed. Everybody looks pissed, dude.

Speaker 2 You don't want to to be in a situation where everyone hates their job

Speaker 2 because nobody's doing it the way they should do it. This is giving me the creeps.
I'm going to Miami. No, it's going to be

Speaker 2 on from this. Yeah, let's talk about Gladiator 2 or something.
Well, Denzel Washington's in it, and he's excellent, I think. Did you like the movie? I saw it and I liked it.
I thought it was good.

Speaker 2 I thought it was good. I thought it was very good.
I enjoyed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I enjoyed it. And here's another.
Can I just recommend another one to show on the topic, right? Yeah. The Honora.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 The order.

Speaker 2 Ooh. Did you see it? No, what is that? The order is about these white supremacists in the 70s.
Remember that radio DJ Jewish guy that got assassinated outside the studio? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 You know who plays him in the movie? Who? Mark Marin.

Speaker 2 Really? And he kills it. It's a great movie.
And the order is about white supremacists.

Speaker 2 It's about that killing and also like the heists that they had and their, you know, and then how they got stopped. You know what I mean? But, you know, it's a, it's a really good movie.

Speaker 2 What do you think is going to happen tomorrow? Tomorrow's a big day for white supremacy. What's tomorrow? Come on, dude, Jan 6.
Jay 6th? We're back, baby.

Speaker 2 I think it'll pass without incident. That's kind of a bummer.
I want a little bit of a party.

Speaker 2 I think there'll be some fond remembrances of the time.

Speaker 2 Here's the way I look at January 6th. Truly, have you ever been at a party that's gotten out of hand? Yeah.
That's kind of what happened. That's what happened.
That's what was, yes.

Speaker 2 It's a high school party. And it was not a civil war.
They're in hat. They're in hat.
They're in costume hats. It was a high school party.
It was a high school party. It got out.
They had a coup.

Speaker 2 You know, people call it a coup. It's not a coup.

Speaker 2 You need the military. You can't be doing a coup with a hat.
That's right. With a common hat.
With a prop. Right, right, right, right, right, right.
You can't. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 No, this is the kids from the other high school came and they're a little wild. They're a little wild.
And things got a little out of hand.

Speaker 2 And then the really popular quarterback may or may not have egged it on without knowing. A little bit.

Speaker 2 Without even knowing. We know, we don't know.
He was like, we're having the best time of our lives tonight. We got to go out there and have the most fun.
No one can tell us how much fun we can have.

Speaker 2 Trump, Trump. Have more fun.
Trump really is the quarterback. He's quarterback.
And he was like, tonight's our night to make a mark and have the most fun we've ever had.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 this is what happened. We have to show Maine South we're the ones.
We're the ones. We're the ones.
And there's a lot of teachers that, you know,

Speaker 2 they say that we're such good kids. We're not.
We're not problems.

Speaker 2 They go, these kids are so sweet and quiet, but guess what? Tonight's the night to show them.

Speaker 2 And you know what I mean? It can get out of your hand. It's like a pepper alley.
It can get out of hand. It's no one's fault.
It's no one's fault. It's not litigated.
It's no one's fault.

Speaker 2 He's actually a genius. That Jake Angeli.
Rogan sent me a tweet the other day. He's very smart.
This kid? This shaman, the QAnon shaman.

Speaker 2 Tim, if you were breaking a window and I didn't know what was going on, I would help you break it. I don't know what's going on.
Of course.

Speaker 2 But I had one arrow through a door, an exact door, and ripped the screen out.

Speaker 2 out and we all started laughing of course my friend's property was destroyed right his parents were very upset but there was something funny about watching someone fall through a screen door

Speaker 2 and if you if you say if you if you if you said like come into this office right and i'm in nancy pelosi's office right right i don't know what's going on i just thought with kim in there there's something would you go in of course yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 2 we're all in a field we're all kind of having fun and it's getting a little wild it's getting wild it's getting a little wild but we've all been at those parties where we regret the next day everybody looks around and goes, that was really nuts.

Speaker 2 I can't believe we did that. I can't believe that happened.

Speaker 2 Do you think he's going to pardon the January 6th people that are in prison? The day he's the day. You think the day? Day one.
Day one. Day one.
You think day one? Day one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Day one. Okay.

Speaker 2 I heard it's not hard to do either, to pardon. No, it's a pen.
It's a pen.

Speaker 2 He signs a page. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we sign posters. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, it's literally us signing merch. It's the same thing.
It's the same thing. The best thing ever, though, can you get

Speaker 2 the January 6th song that the January 6th people recorded a song in prison? All the January 6th people that went to jail.

Speaker 2 It's called Justice for All. Wow.

Speaker 2 And it was recorded by Donald Trump and the January 6th prison choir. Please.
I got to hear it. It is actually kind of powerful.
Are they going on tour anytime soon? If they are, I'd love to tell you.

Speaker 2 I will jump on that in a minute.

Speaker 2 Let me host.

Speaker 5 Abraham Lincoln, at a time of true crisis, with the country on the brink of civil war, appealed for all Americans to be touched by what he called the better angels of our nature.

Speaker 5 And toward the end of the war, he called on them to bind up the nation's wounds. Lincoln was the first Republican president.

Speaker 5 In seeking to be the next Republican president, Donald Trump promises to be an agent of vengeance.

Speaker 5 And in his CPAC speech, invoked the post-Civil War act of vengeance, lynching in a moment of self-pity.

Speaker 6 I didn't know that they want to lynch you for doing nothing wrong. I didn't know they want to lynch you for doing a great job.

Speaker 6 I didn't know they want to put you away because your poll numbers are better than anybody they've seen in years.

Speaker 5 For the record, the former president was not lynched. He lost.
He was voted out of office, and he's not being lynched either. He's the subject of numerous official legally sanctioned investigations.

Speaker 5 The irony here is that he did have a vice president who was being hunted by a mob the former president encouraged and for hours did nothing to stop, who did want to hang Mike Pence.

Speaker 5 And according to the New York Times, Mark Meadows, his chief of staff, told the January 6th Committee that when President Trump learned of the rioters chanting Hang Mike Pence, he said something to the effect of maybe Mr.

Speaker 5 Pence should be hung. And as for those rioters, shortly before speaking to CPAC, the former president collaborated with a group of incarcerated January 6th inmates

Speaker 5 on this.

Speaker 2 Wow. There's something beautiful that's very beautiful.
You're telling me Diplo can't do anything with that? Make a beat, Kevin. Throw a beat.
Baby's John Summit.

Speaker 2 Wow. No, I'll tell you this right now.

Speaker 2 It's a regrettable day. Yeah.
It's a regrettable day, and

Speaker 2 it's not good. And everybody, you know, that i know who was there

Speaker 2 feels sad about it

Speaker 2 you know this is like all my uncles yeah that's everyone i grew up with that's all my uncles every person i've ever met in my life is that guy dude we got inside the fucking offices dude but by the way it's a great story here's the thing about january 6th it's one of those stories where it's a great story to tell you were there i mean he's got what is he at what is he on an app he's recording right now It was one of those.

Speaker 2 He's on TikTok live. Yeah.
He's TikToking.

Speaker 2 Is that a katana? Is that a sword? Let's keep that thing on you. What has he got? I'm more interested.
Look at the desk. I want to see what's on the desk.
A little bit of Purel, an old Yeti cup.

Speaker 2 The problem with this country is that we don't have fun anymore. We don't.
And this is fun. This is fun.
This is not the best thing. Yeah, it's not the best thing.

Speaker 2 It's not the best thing. I mean,

Speaker 2 it's also good about a water slide. No, they're closed.
It's the winter. Oh, that's right.
They're closed. And you know what? There's lines and there's problems.

Speaker 2 This is immediate kind of just you're here's the thing, man. We all remember doing fun pranks as kids.
Yeah. This is kind of what this is.
It's just a prank. It's a fun prank.

Speaker 2 It's a fun prank. As kids, you're getting wacky.
You're having a good time with your buddies. This is us egging a house.
You know what I mean? Egg in a house. Toilet paper in a hot TPL.

Speaker 2 Throwing some fruit off the overpass. Come on.

Speaker 2 Well, look at this. He's got the thing.
He's got the thick tongue. Look at that tongue, man.
Yeah. By the way, you know what's so funny?

Speaker 2 They've interviewed some of these people and obviously they all went insane and are crazy, but they also, like, when they interview them, seem very reasonable. Like, it's just so insane.

Speaker 2 Like, they're like, so you took a shit on Nancy Pelosi's desk, and he's like, representative government has failed.

Speaker 2 It's like so,

Speaker 2 it's so crazy how well-spoken some of them are because the behavior is so nuts. It's nuts, yeah.
Are you guys afraid of the inauguration? Do you think it's going to be wild?

Speaker 2 You know what's so funny? I don't, I think it's going to be calm.

Speaker 2 Let's say someone was invited to it. Would you go to it or do you think there's going to be problems?

Speaker 2 No, I think I do.

Speaker 2 I think no problems. Okay.
I think it's going to be the polar. Because I'm just seeing like Tesla's explode and all that, and I'm going.
But I think you're right. It might be nice.
Would you go?

Speaker 2 If you were invited, would you go?

Speaker 2 I'm thinking of it.

Speaker 2 Oh, you were invited. Yeah.
Perhaps. He was invited.

Speaker 2 I was invited. No, be real.
I was invited. You would literally.
You got to go. I think I'll go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'll go.
How come we didn't get invited? Well, we don't get invited to stuff.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got invited to like a J.D.
Vance has like a a listening party for an album he's putting out

Speaker 2 and i might want to go to that yeah yeah that's good yeah yeah it's fine i mean it was unofficial but it was like a it was a paperless post that was sent to my email i just don't want to be there and then crazy like craziness starts going on and i think the security is going to be unbelievable through the roof like there's there's just it's just going to be there's no way liberals don't do crazy like that what do you tell them what do you think they do some of them do but we're not even talking about liberals we're just talking about like who knows dude

Speaker 2 people are a guy drove a truck through the middle of Bourbon Street. Yeah, that's true.
That's true. That's true.
People go wild. People lose their mind.
Yeah, yeah. People go.
Crazy shit.

Speaker 2 Don't go, don't go, don't go. It just seems, I don't know.
I'm going to go probably. It'll be an experience.
You got to go. I think it'll be

Speaker 2 for Jimmy Carter. Let's do it for Jimmy.
Do it for Jimmy. Do it for Jimmy.
I'm going to do it for Jimmy. You know that award? Didn't wear a shirt that's doing it for Jimmy?

Speaker 2 You know when the president gives awards out and puts a little thing around their neck? Medal of honor? Yes. How can I get one? Oh, buddy.
So far from that.

Speaker 2 So far from that. What would I need to do to get one? Like, like, you think a Medal of Honor or like a.

Speaker 2 Ellen got one. Who? Ellen DeGeneres.
For what? I don't know, but she got one.

Speaker 2 But Ellen's like in. The Medal of Freedom?

Speaker 2 Yeah, she got a medal of something. Look at Biden's face.
Hillary just got one 23 hours ago. Yeah, yeah, she got one.
Magic Johnson. Look at him.
Doesn't want to touch Magic. I don't love that photo.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? I know. It's not going to rub off.
It doesn't look great.

Speaker 2 I don't want to catch anything that this guy's got.

Speaker 2 That doesn't present America in our best light.

Speaker 2 Such an unflattering photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 you don't think I'll ever get one? No chance.

Speaker 2 You know what I don't like about you, Andrew? Give it to me. And I think, Tim, you're in the same category.
Yeah. I really get no support.
Well, but here's the thing. No, here's the thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think you hold on that one. Hold on.
What? How hard was this for him to clasp? Right. With him shaking, with both of them shaking?

Speaker 2 I mean, and by the way, look at the guy, the Marine or whatever, just standing there like, I'm not even watching. That is the face of a guy who's like, I'm not even watching.

Speaker 2 Because that was such a crazy, shaky thing

Speaker 2 between his hands. He's trying so hard not to look.

Speaker 2 Because he knows. You're right.
They're horrible. They're shaking bullshit.
Oh, it's tough. Bobby, you could absolutely get one.
You would have to, there would have to be a president who

Speaker 2 felt for whatever reason close

Speaker 2 that you had helped them or you helped the country. We would need to set you up.
Like, we would need to have an'

Speaker 2 I had Kennedy on my podcast, right? Right. Well, that's good.

Speaker 2 Do you remember we bailed?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 So me and Bobby.

Speaker 2 And by the way,

Speaker 2 the last time we talked about canceling, I'm getting all these people angry with me. We were talking about canceling one show at the improv for a criminal, but go on.

Speaker 2 So you and I had a benefit show. Yes, we did.
Right?

Speaker 2 Do you remember? And then, and then I called you. Yes.
And you go,

Speaker 2 are you going? Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's not going going to win.

Speaker 2 No, we knew it. Yeah, you knew it, right? We knew it was it.
You were going to go, right? And the last

Speaker 2 tough. Your excuse was COVID, right? COVID.
Right. But then I.
Got COVID. No.
No. I told them I had COVID before you told them because I stole your fucking excuse.
Smart.

Speaker 2 And I sent them, I think, your. Yeah, I told you.
I shared it with you. I shared it with you.
So the text that you sent me,

Speaker 2 that was my results too, though, though. We were on a lineup.
It was weird. It was weird.
Me, you, Rob Schneider. Yeah.
Who else?

Speaker 2 People that weren't comedians. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was like strange. Send in your COVID tests.
Yeah. Show me that you had COVID.

Speaker 2 I think they're lying, both of them. I don't believe them.
I think Bobby Lee and Tim Dillon are lying.

Speaker 2 We've replaced them with Drea Demateo

Speaker 2 from the Sopranos will be here.

Speaker 2 So. But I would have done it if you did it, but because you weren't doing it, I was like, I don't think I should do it then either.

Speaker 2 What do you think about your, what do you think about those guys having Army Hammer on on YMH? We were talking about having him on here. He's doing like a podcast tour.
He's going to go on a tour.

Speaker 2 Do you know that? He's got his own show now. Somebody told me he has a podcast.
He does. That's why he's on the show.
Here's the thing about Army Hammer. Here's the thing about Army Hammer, though.

Speaker 2 Isn't he just a hot, boring actor at the end of the day?

Speaker 2 But it's interesting they had him on because they have no connection to him whatsoever.

Speaker 2 It's a strange start for a podcast tour to start on YMH. Well, he's now he's like, see, Army Hammer's an actor.
So you got to remember that he is now playing the role of this guy.

Speaker 2 Army Hammer was an A-list guy forever. He said he wanted to eat a liver.
Probably didn't want to. Maybe it was a joke.
That didn't work. Now he's that guy.
But he's talker hat on YMH.

Speaker 2 Like, you would see him talk about the thing that happened. And sometimes he'd do it as a drama and he'd be like, it's been so hard.
And then he'd do it as a comedy.

Speaker 2 He'd go, it's kind of wacky when you think about it. And he's going, which script is it? Right.
Is it a comedy that they thought I ate everyone? Right. Or is it a drama? Am I a podcast guy now?

Speaker 2 Like, he's just basically trying to figure out, like, what's the role? He's looking for a director he's looking for a director he needs the role to get him back

Speaker 2 you think this is his way to get back into movies something yeah something he's got to come back he doesn't want to not be famous yeah but my thing is is that this there's nothing else he can do to make money and this is why he's doing it you guys are crazy when everybody says this it pisses me off he's a fucking hammer He's a fucking hammer.

Speaker 2 Oh, he has money. Do you know about the hammer? Oh, you remember museum in Los Angeles? His family is worth 10.
He sold his trucks. He's pretending he has no money.
How could he not?

Speaker 2 He sold his truck on...

Speaker 2 he's like, here's me selling my car. There's no fucking way.
His family is worth fucking billions of dollars. Supposedly they cut him off and he was selling timeshare.
I believe none of that.

Speaker 2 I agree with you. I believe that's the thing.
I think if you're a Rockefeller, sometimes you get cut off. That's what I'm saying.
What if he's cut off? Not when you're this close.

Speaker 2 It's his great-grandfather, right? Give me the Wikipedia on the fucking guy. It's his great-grandfather that started the foundation and all this shit.

Speaker 2 Because I knew Jaja Gabor's daughter and she got cut off. Jaja didn't make a lot of paper, my friend.
Oh, that's all right.

Speaker 2 This is entrepreneur-industrialist Armand Hammer. It sounds like they have money, right? Gabor.
And that's his grandfather or his great-grandfather. Wow.
Right? She was born into it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, look, dude, this is generational fucking wealth. Dude, that guy.
Oh, my God. Look at him.

Speaker 2 I passed it. By the way, if you think that guy didn't ask to eat a liver,

Speaker 2 right, right, right. Completely out of your mind.
Like, if you think that guy didn't set the standard,

Speaker 2 it just said, it said Lenin called him. Go back up on his picture there.
It said

Speaker 2 Lenin's chosen capitalist by the press i like that

Speaker 2 close ties to the soviet union so you think it's it's over for him in terms of movies no i don't know that i can't say that i'm just saying that i think he feels that he has to and i i sympathize with him he has to figure out like how do you handle this do you handle it like serious like my life was destroyed or do you just say listen it's funny it's like a funny rom-com i said i texted a few women i wanted to eat their hearts people freaked out it's silly.

Speaker 2 And now I'm back. And I think that's smart of him to do that.
And that's why he's gone to Y Ma's. Tom and Christina are super cool.
They get it. They're having fun with him.
I think it's smart.

Speaker 2 It's wild. It's wild.
We're living in such a crazy.

Speaker 2 Is that his grandfather? Make sure that that's his granddad or his great-granddad. I don't know which one it is.
It's just a strange, it's like we are living in.

Speaker 2 See, upside down in a weird way. It's unscripted.
It's so crazy. Yeah.
It's, we're, we're, we are. the wildest reality show we've ever lived.
It's his great-grandson. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Michael Arman Hammer. Arman Hammer.
Yeah. Supposedly he was having financial issues.
Maybe that is untrue. I just don't buy that.
I think you're probably right. Generational wealth.

Speaker 2 Whenever you meet someone with generational wealth, and you do occasionally come across people where you're like, oh, my dad is a blah, blah, blah, whoever. Right.

Speaker 2 They can't run out.

Speaker 2 They can't run out. Generational.

Speaker 2 You can run out if you just got rich.

Speaker 2 He's never looked not good.

Speaker 2 Like, if you have zero money, you look shit. You look shit.
Yeah. He's never looked bad.
Right. Look at this.

Speaker 2 Army's grandfather, who's accused of killing a a man in 1955 and sexual abuse by his daughter. He's got a good lineage.
That's good lineage. That's insane.

Speaker 2 Wait, his great-grandfather was convicted of manslaughter in 1919. These guys are killers.

Speaker 2 There's something about... It runs in his blood.
It's a fun family. It's a fun family.
It's a fun family. That's a Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you don't become Lenin's favorite capitalist, but you know what I mean? Like, it's a fun Thanksgiving. And I like this new Army hammer.
I like the character.

Speaker 2 I wanted to have him on here and eat like really like ribs.

Speaker 2 I wanted to have him on and eat ribs. So I will have him on if me and him can eat.

Speaker 2 He'll do the show. Ribs.
I think he'll do the show. Yeah, we were talking about it.
He would do the show. But you know what how Kevin Spacey cries about he's lost everything and his house and that?

Speaker 2 Like, do you believe that? Yeah, but that was my point. He's not generationally wealthy.

Speaker 2 Spacey's rich. But he made a lot of money.
Not like the fucking hammer mute. Not like that Lennon's.
Your favorite Kevin Spacey would have made at least $100 million.

Speaker 2 I know that Kevin Spacey's lying about losing everything. Sure.

Speaker 2 I think he's probably not being honest.

Speaker 2 I agree with that, but also, dude,

Speaker 2 new rich is different than generational wealth. Yeah.
You know, dude, the difference is on the rich. We're all new rich, right?

Speaker 2 I'm not rich, but I'm just saying. The Hammer family,

Speaker 2 there's money they have they don't even know they have. Correct.
That's the kind of money. If you have a fucking building on Wilshire, in an art museum, you're fucking fine.
They're fine.

Speaker 2 But Spacey, I bet you he lost lost a lot of all the shit that he had i imagine

Speaker 2 this guy you know when these guys talk about being broke they don't mean like i'm living in an apartment in west hollywood they mean like i'm not maintain their lifestyle i'm not maintaining my lifestyle this guy's living in a three-bed three bath when i was with i was i did a podcast with alec baldwin a few months after the

Speaker 2 And he said to me, he goes, I can't believe I'm dealing with this bullshit. I should be on David Geffen's yacht in Nice right now.

Speaker 2 Do you see what I mean?

Speaker 2 I mean, it's a different level. It's a different kind of level.
It's a different level. There's levels to this.
He was ordered to pay $31 million.

Speaker 2 That is, by the way, that is heavy.

Speaker 2 I didn't know it was that much. $31 is heavy.
Oh, wait a minute. He let her say.

Speaker 2 Ordered to pay $31 million by a production company. Oh, look at the end.
He later settled the case for a million.

Speaker 2 That's it. A million? He's got fucking payment.
$1 million.

Speaker 2 Huh. So he's not going to do that.
He's not like on the streets. I mean, he's going to.
No, his problem was, look, his monthly mortgage was 20 grand. Yeah.
And they sold his house for 3.2.

Speaker 2 Just go to Austin Louis Tony. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Army Hammer, Kevin Spacey. By the way, if they all moved to Austin,

Speaker 2 just be the greatest thing in the world. Ladies and fucking gentlemen, the greatest fucking lineup you've ever seen in your life.

Speaker 2 Red Band and I work tirelessly to get this lineup put together. It's Army Fucking Hammer and Kevin Fucking Spacey.

Speaker 2 They could start like a new Hollywood over there

Speaker 2 in Austin, you think. In Austin, even the actors start a production company.
Yeah. You know what I mean? What do we say to Austin? We're never going to.
No, thanks. No, thank you.
No, thanks.

Speaker 2 I've made my feelings public and clear.

Speaker 2 I love everyone who lives there. I love it too.
Not everyone. That's crazy.
I love Joe, Shane, and Tony. I love three people.
No, there's people there that are great. I love three people.

Speaker 2 I just don't feel like moving there. Tom and Christina.
Why do they, they want everyone to move there. It's so weird.
It's culty. It's like, well, we don't want to.

Speaker 2 We can't hold up the left, the west flank here. We're fine.
We got it. Me, you, Bobby, Whitney.
We don't have a choice. We have to stay here.

Speaker 2 By the way, if we pull out the final Django blocks. Forget it.
We're fucked. Forget it.
It has to be us. It has to be Burr and Sebastian.
Here's why I stay.

Speaker 2 Someone has to disgust Sebastian Maniscalco at the improv. Like, he's got to see someone and go.

Speaker 2 Someone has to play that role. I know.

Speaker 2 Someone has to be sitting here in a sweatsuit when he walks in and he just goes,

Speaker 2 That's us. That's, yes, that's us.

Speaker 2 Someone has got to do it. He's a good example of someone I left, I met early.
I love him. You know what I mean? I love him.

Speaker 2 I love him, too. He's like a brother to me, right?

Speaker 2 But I'm so glad I met him early.

Speaker 2 I know what you mean. You understand what I'm saying? But he's very nice to me.
And I like in that way, like his nod, when he nods, it's a nice nod.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 he is a quiet, but

Speaker 2 endearing guy. No, he's just very sweet.
But I get it because he's about his business. When he goes in there, he's working on the bits.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 he's not a clown like us.

Speaker 2 You've never had a conversation with him before, then.

Speaker 2 It's very minimal. Yeah, yeah.
But it's nice when it happens. I know,

Speaker 2 or

Speaker 2 like in and out of those in-and-outs, yeah, because he is very much, this is why he's so successful amongst his talent. But, like, a few guys like this, they're all fucking business.

Speaker 2 That's why he's so good at what he does.

Speaker 2 We go in there, we fucking goof them. We're all fucking fuck-ups.
We're all fucked ups. I'm a fucking loser, dude.
Yeah, we're kingless. Why are we like that? Who cares? Cookie business.

Speaker 2 I want to get a new honor. You're never going to get on.

Speaker 2 You can't get on.

Speaker 2 We spent a lot of time.

Speaker 2 We spent 30 minutes talking about a dog whose family got incinerated. I know, but it's real news.
No, it's not. We're fucked.

Speaker 2 Your podcast is the biggest thing in the world. Bad friends.
No one needs to know about you guys, obviously. Is there anything specifically you want to podcast? Are we ending now?

Speaker 2 Well, it's an hour, and I felt I was respectful of everyone's time because I know you both had time.

Speaker 2 You're going to cut some things out because I'm going to tell them what to cut out. Can you stop?

Speaker 2 We're not cutting anything out. What would we cut out? He always likes to do 15 more minutes in case.

Speaker 2 By the way, we'll do 15. I already know jokes in in my head that didn't work.

Speaker 2 It's in my head right now. But it's a podcast.
We were warming up. If I cut every joke that didn't work when I did Rogan, it would be nine minutes.
It would be a nine-minute show. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And seven of it would be Rogan telling me to not eat flour.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 you just got to do a

Speaker 2 thing. Yeah.
Why does Rogan call out bad jokes? One time I did a joke last time I was on it, and he goes, ha ha ha. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He does that all the time. Oh, just let it go.
Oh, he'll do that to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 He's done that to everyone, though. He does it to Shane.
He does that. I mean, hardy, har, har, har.
Well, he, he. I hate it.
I don't know. He likes to fucking sound.

Speaker 2 Some jokes work, some don't on that show, but you got to power through. Yeah.
And making him laugh feels great because you've done it.

Speaker 2 It's the most stressful podcast I've ever you. You have to admit, both of you, that doing his podcast, it doesn't feel like this.
It feels a little bit more elevated. It's the hardest show.

Speaker 2 elevated, it's the biggest show in the world. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, yeah, I couldn't sleep the night before. Yeah, but think about it.
That's what people felt like when they did Tonight Show.

Speaker 2 When they went on Carson, they were so nervous.

Speaker 2 It's because of the weight of the show is so heavy. It's my golden gloves.
That is my golden gloves. It's as close as I'm getting to the golden gloves.

Speaker 2 One day, though, we are going to get you. Forget the medal of freedom.
I want a Heisman. You will get a Heisman Pulitzer and I want to get the Medal of Freedom.
You're going to get an Emmy.

Speaker 2 I would love to see you get an Emmy. He'll win an Emmy.
For what? And by the way,

Speaker 2 I want Biden to pin the Emmy on you like that.

Speaker 2 That's what I want to say. Can we get the Emmy on a rope? Yeah.
I want to hang it on a little Chinese boy.

Speaker 2 That's the song. Hang the Emmy on the Old Chinese.

Speaker 2 No, I love it. You will, but you will.

Speaker 2 You will get your comeuppance. Let me say something to you guys.
You know that. Listen, I'm so happy.
Are you? I'm in a perfect place in my life. That's beautiful.
By the way, we're really next week.

Speaker 2 What is it? No, this week, we're shooting a pilot. It's amazing.
A game show. That we made on it.
We financed it. We created it.
We did everything. We're doing it on our own.

Speaker 2 That's the only way to do it now. Yeah, we're excited.
It's like

Speaker 2 in the way that Eric Andre's show is an R-rated talk show or an adult talk show. We're doing it R-A game show.
Game show, yeah. For celebrities.

Speaker 2 It's amazing. It's so much fucking fun.
That's what we're looking forward to because now we, you know, he jokingly says, I don't work. We've toyed in the business.

Speaker 2 Every time we get into the business, it's just kind of like, fuck, we'll just make our own shit. It just gets so hard to make to.

Speaker 2 I think you having the power and the control and making it exactly what you want is perfect.

Speaker 2 I can't, I can't get the call.

Speaker 2 Oh, they put a pin in you. They pin you.
Right.

Speaker 2 And then like, um, you're in the mix.

Speaker 2 Right. And then two months goes by and you, you see a billboard of it.
Yeah. I guess I'm not in the mix.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? It's like, I can't do it. Well, it's funny because you go from you're in the mix to the next set of calls calls is like, well, you're, you're there.
You know?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it starts like the

Speaker 2 verbiage changes. Yeah, yeah.
You know? Let's tell people how it works. So it's like you.

Speaker 2 Do you read? Sure. Yeah.
Yeah. So you read, you know if you read well, right? Oh, right.

Speaker 2 Then the next day you get a call like you're in the mix or they put opinion. They like you.

Speaker 2 Is that the same thing? Same thing. Yeah.
Right. And then it goes, well, and this is your agent not knowing.
Right. When they say that, like, you know, it's still, you know, you know how this works.

Speaker 2 You're right there. You're right there.
Yeah. You know, they haven't gotten a call.
That means

Speaker 2 they don't know what's happening. You know what you are.
At this stage,

Speaker 2 you are in the bar culture. You're the,

Speaker 2 you're like the waiting to see what's left over at the end of the night.

Speaker 2 They've got you as the reserve side pussy. Yeah, because they're negotiating with someone they want.
Right. And you're

Speaker 2 your last resort pussy. They're like, maybe,

Speaker 2 you know. And then, by the way, they don't even take your threat seriously.

Speaker 2 Like, I guarantee they call and they go, oh, yeah, well, I don't know if they think this, if they, if they think we're in the right place with the deal, because they're also talking to this person.

Speaker 2 And then the person on the other end of the phone is like, okay, good luck with that. Yeah, good luck with that.
And then finally the agent goes, you go, I guess,

Speaker 2 are we not doing that a week later? And they go, I don't know what's going on over there. Can I send you something else? Oh, no, they say this.
They're moving in a different direction.

Speaker 2 They're moving in a different direction. Instead of saying, they don't fucking want you.
And then they pivot and they go like this. They go, you know what?

Speaker 2 I don't think you wanted to do that dude that's oh i've got that

Speaker 2 i don't even think you wanted that yeah you know what agents with agents that's a good one agents are so fucking spineless

Speaker 2 you'll go you'll go you know

Speaker 2 i don't know do i i don't even know if i like that project and they'll go yeah that thing fucking sucks if you call them the next morning and go i kind of really kind of want to be a part of that they'll go it is pretty good i think you should get you in there they'll flip-flop it's like a real it's like a real estate agent where you hit a house you go it's really old they go it's really old and you go i just don't feel comfortable with that they go completely understood like go but it does have charm they go it's got a lot of charm.

Speaker 2 It's the most charming house on the block. Yeah, it's, yeah.
They're just, they just. And we're not dumb.
They mirror it. We know what's going on.
Oh, we are dumb, but we're not.

Speaker 2 We are dumb. We are dumb.
Well, you know what? We've learned, we've learned their

Speaker 2 selling sunset. Yeah.
We are, we're, we're all on selling sunset. That's it.
So for Whitney's

Speaker 2 show, Whitney, her sitcom. Yeah, the TV show? Yeah, everyone auditioned for it, right? And I started outwardly complaining that I didn't get an audition.
I guess it got to her. So one day

Speaker 2 they called me in, right? But it was for a part they had already cast. Oh, that's awful.
Right. Wow.
Right. And then I didn't even get a casting director.

Speaker 2 I got some lady with like a camera, like an iPhone. And we were in, I swear to God, we were in some sort of storage room.
And just do it real quick like this. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It was like, it was just a call me in.

Speaker 2 That's why if they don't already want me,

Speaker 2 it's fine. I don't want to like,

Speaker 2 I don't want to pretend. I don't want them to have to pretend that they give a shit about you.
Right.

Speaker 2 So if they're like, you're not really our style, it's like, I'd rather that than be like, yeah, send in a fucking tape. We don't want to.

Speaker 2 It's good to just put cards on the table. Just have a lot of fun.
Here's what I don't like, though. Yeah.
Since we're talking about it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I love you so much.

Speaker 2 Is when you get an offer, that's even worse. Yeah.
Because you show up on set and you're like, am I going to do it right? Yeah. Am I going to fuck it up?

Speaker 2 Because the worst thing is when you're doing it and you see the producers look, you know, from village, video village, and they're like, concerned.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit, he's doing it wrong.

Speaker 2 And then they have to come to you while you're the day you're shooting. Yeah, right.
They give you a thousand notes. Oh, scary.
It's so stressful.

Speaker 2 That's time to walk. That's when I get real nervous.
I go to lunch and I think the whole time by myself. Scared.
They don't like me, do they?

Speaker 2 That's why I like that movie, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Tarantino? Like, even, you know, that scene with DiCaprio's in his trailer and just ripping on himself because he forgot a line or whatever.
It just felt so like real to me. Yeah, we lived that.

Speaker 2 I've lived that a hundred times.

Speaker 2 I was,

Speaker 2 yeah,

Speaker 2 Joker and some of the other ones. Thanks, Kim.

Speaker 2 Tim, I think you checked out for a second. No, I was listening.
No, no, I think you checked out. I was deciding if I wanted to talk about

Speaker 2 the Borderlands movie.

Speaker 2 I was deciding. Well, you're looking at me now, but in my head, that's where I was going.
I was like, should I bring it up? No, it's not. But by the way, I think it was actually nice.

Speaker 2 So that's all I wanted to say. And now we're moving past it.
Well, you know,

Speaker 2 I can say something, too. Why? It's an attack.

Speaker 2 Why? It's not an attack. It's not an attack.
It's not an attack.

Speaker 2 I audition for it. I know you're.
I audition for it. And I was close.
You were so close. I got really close.
That would have been great if you were in it. It would have been great.
Two wins for me.

Speaker 2 I have no control. You know, as you know, we have no control.
No control. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Can we talk about one last movie and then we can go? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know. It's in Big Burp.
Sorry. Okay.

Speaker 2 Did you see No Storoff 2? Yes. I didn't see it.

Speaker 2 Give me your honest opinion. Fine.
It's too too dark. I'm a little sick of Nicholas Holt and,

Speaker 2 you know, obviously, what's his name? He's a brilliant actor. The other guy.
What is his name? William Dafoe. He's a brilliant actor.
But I'm just a little sick of like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I just, I'm not, it's not. The scariest thing was when the gypsies were dancing.
No, it's scary. But I don't.
When gypsies dance at all at a party, I get scared. It didn't have enough camp and fun.

Speaker 2 I think Hora should have a little lightning. It was just too much.
Also, no, Sarah

Speaker 2 is Lemmy from Motorhead. Like, what the fuck are we doing here? I agree.
He's not scary at all.

Speaker 2 No, it's crazy. He has a mustache.
It's like, what the fuck is going on here? The whole thing's stupid. It opens at the whiskey.
He's just drinking at the bar. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm going to say this.
She,

Speaker 2 she's a killer. Steals the movie.
What's her name again? Lily Rose Depp. Lily.
Oh, that's Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp's out.
Johnny Depp Sauter. She saves it.
Don't you think? I think she's scary parts.

Speaker 2 Yeah. All that sort of thing.
She's so good. I also just think the premise, most people want to get bit and live forever.

Speaker 2 Like, it's no longer a scary premise anymore that, oh, maybe I'll be immortalized and be a vampire. People are like, great.
People go, hey, I work at Target. Yeah.
They kind of want to be a vampire.

Speaker 2 We all kind of live in a vampiric world. It's just what it is.
Walk down Melrose. Everyone looks like a bunch of vampires.

Speaker 2 You know, my favorite Willem Defoe scene, by the way, I don't know if you can find it as the Boondock Saints.

Speaker 2 Is that Boondock Saints where he's snuggling in bed with that guy? Is that Boondock Saints? I like Boondock Saints.

Speaker 2 Tell me that's wrong. Wasn't he in that movie? Am I crazy? It is right.
And he's snuggling in bed with that boyfriend. Yeah.
That's like one of the funniest scenes of all time.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's never going to be up there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's cuddling. That's right, cuddling.
He knows what it is.

Speaker 2 He goes, I thought you wanted a cuddle. Yeah, this is such a great scene.

Speaker 4 Hello.

Speaker 2 Mm-hmm. Room number?

Speaker 5 We got a time in deck.

Speaker 2 Tim's eating heart.

Speaker 2 I'm joking now. I got a body count.

Speaker 2 The acting is terrible.

Speaker 2 William Dafoe's amazing. The other guy, it's not terrible.

Speaker 2 Terrible actor.

Speaker 2 Wait, that's terrible. Wait, wait.
Go ahead.

Speaker 5 What are you doing? I just wanted to cuddle.

Speaker 2 Cuddle.

Speaker 2 What a fag.

Speaker 2 By the way, you and I need to remake the scene. I want to see that.
That's 100%.

Speaker 2 That's not good at it. That's bad acting.
No, it's terrible. That's why it's so funny.
He's a friend of the director. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It started over real fast, though, just so I can see. That's you and I in bed.
That's literally you and I in bed. That's us, yeah, yeah.
Can we remake that? No, Tim. Yes.
Hello. Go ahead, Castamp.

Speaker 2 If we didn't know each other, we're at the Abbey. Yes.
Right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I just keep thinking that's you and me. It's so funny.
And like, I look the way I do. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Am I someone that you would hit on? I've hung out with Asians. No, but me specifically, like my look.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 but i don't know

Speaker 2 i don't know it's a no it's perhaps i don't know it's it's a soft no no it's it's a it's very it's a specific no i don't know all right let's andrew and i we don't you don't know us we're just we're working at the abbey okay probably andrew because he's white

Speaker 2 but but that would be the only reason yeah it's only

Speaker 2 do you prefer white men well no i'm just saying if if you know what i mean

Speaker 2 i'm just saying i'm just saying you're just just say he's sexier that's all I'm a big boy I'm a big boy well it's just a very it's different there's two different things we're such different kind of guys it's two different things we're two different guys also what are our jobs you said we're working what am I doing but there's hot a there's insanely hot asians obviously all right I wouldn't be one no but I'm just saying insanely hot is a very high standard for anyone okay you don't think you're insanely hot insanely hot's a tough standard what's in this moon jaro drug they're giving you

Speaker 2 but i mean you know you know well i have a particular Simulu. You know him? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right. Come on.

Speaker 2 I get it. I get it.
Come on. Right.
What I would be doing there is I'm cleaning off the pole. Don't they have poles there? They're always cleaning the pole.

Speaker 2 When they're dancing or whatever, right? Don't they dance? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I clean the polls. Now, so I'm not sexy to you.
That's not, I didn't say that. I said Simu Leo would be an insanely hot Asian person.
That's correct. I mean, that's not a knock on anyone.

Speaker 2 That's not even like a lift culturally. That's such an obvious statement.
I mean,

Speaker 2 is this a controversial statement? No. What are we doing?

Speaker 2 You think that's a good-looking. Are you nuts? That's objectively.
Am I crazy?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 2 You know what? Holy shit. By the way, what the fuck? By the way, I'm wrong.
You're kind of right. I got it too, dude.
You're kind of right. By the way, actually, you're kind of right.
Yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 Changed my mind.

Speaker 2 Changed my mind. Anyway, thanks for having us on.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 Thank you for coming.