426 - LA Fires Emergency Podcast

Speaker 1 Time for a sofa upgrade.

Speaker 2 Introducing Anibay sofas, where designer style meets budget-friendly prices.

Speaker 6 Every Anibay sofa is modular, allowing you to rearrange your space effortlessly.

Speaker 2 Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anibay is the only machine-washable sofa inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy.

Speaker 1 Liquids simply slide right off.

Speaker 2 Designed for custom comfort, our high-resilience foam lets you choose between a sink-in feel or a supportive memory foam blend.

Speaker 11 Plus, our pet-friendly, stain-resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years.

Speaker 2 Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your living space today.

Speaker 4 Sofas start at just $699 with no risk returns and a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Speaker 17 Get early access to Black Friday now.

Speaker 11 The biggest sale of the year can save you up to 60% off.

Speaker 3 Plus, free shipping and free returns.

Speaker 15 Shop now at washable sofas.com.

Speaker 18 Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may may apply.

Speaker 19 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. We are here from the Sirius XM studio at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas.
We have been displaced.

Speaker 19 I am a refugee of the wildfires of California, along with many other people that are suffering, that need your help. I need your help.

Speaker 19 I need funding.

Speaker 19 I am not a sympathetic figure in

Speaker 19 many of your minds, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I'm already rich.
I want your money. I've had a tragedy in my life.

Speaker 19 It doesn't matter that I sold my house a year ago. It doesn't matter because when people text me and go, what's going on with your house? I say, I don't know.

Speaker 19 I say, nobody knows.

Speaker 19 It's a tragedy. And we're all scared.
I'm not going to ruin. Now, I did sell my house a year ago

Speaker 19 because there was a lot of mudslides. I didn't know this was was coming.
I'm not Nostradamus, but I sold my house, but I'm not going to tell people that,

Speaker 19 by the way.

Speaker 19 And if that makes me a sociopath, fine. I'm not telling you that.
If I check into a hotel, I'm not telling you I sold my house. If you ask me, how are things going?

Speaker 19 I will look down and I will say, we don't know.

Speaker 19 I don't know what's happening. I invent a family.
I say, I don't know where they are. We lost contact.
We lost touch. I had to get my Rolls-Royce out of L.A.
I don't know where the wife and kids are.

Speaker 19 I hope they're fine. They're not responding.

Speaker 19 People are texting me. I have not spoken to in a year.
How's your house? What am I going to say? I sold it and then immediately lose their goodwill.

Speaker 19 No, I'm giving them the experience they want to have. I say, I don't know.
No one knows. I'm texting neighbors.
We're watching the ring cam. The ring cam cut off could mean anything.
We don't know.

Speaker 19 Could have gotten hit by an ember.

Speaker 19 I left two days before the fire it doesn't matter i was i said it was an evacuation i waited i wanted to be responsible i didn't want to clog the highway with my gas guzzling suv i waited i i didn't leave tuesday afternoon of course i did you know why i'm not an idiot stop checking on me going how are you what do you think i'm an idiot You think I'm waiting for the government evacuation?

Speaker 19 You think I'm waiting for the government of Los Angeles to tell me to not die? No, I leave immediately. I saw a fire and I left.
I left because I'm not an idiot.

Speaker 19 All my other friends are like, are you in the evacuation zone? I said, get in your car and leave. You're rich, you idiot.

Speaker 19 There's terrible stuff going on. I get it.

Speaker 19 Families have lost homes.

Speaker 19 Tons of innocent people are affected. More in Altadena than the Palisades, let's be honest.
But

Speaker 19 a lot of people I know and I'm friends with live in the Palisades. So I let's just say that I

Speaker 19 feel terrible for the people of Altadena.

Speaker 19 I think we should donate a lot of money to the people of Altadena.

Speaker 19 I believe the people of Altadena need help, truly, for real.

Speaker 19 As for the Palisades, I listen.

Speaker 19 It's rough.

Speaker 19 It's rough. I like that little outdoor mall there that they had with the blue ribbon sushi,

Speaker 19 you know, and that McConnell's

Speaker 19 McConnell's ice cream with that

Speaker 19 Santa Barbara strawberry flavor they have, which is good, but the strawberries are really picked in Oxnard, but they don't want to say that. Nobody picks strawberries in Santa Barbara.

Speaker 19 They pick them in Oxnard, but that's not the name of the flavor.

Speaker 19 The point is,

Speaker 19 I feel bad for the people in the Palisades as well. It is not fun to lose a fifth of your real estate portfolio.
It actually sucks. Sucks.
Sucks. Sucks.

Speaker 19 If you had something, you lose a fifth of it. It sucks.
That's not good. It's sad.
It's unfortunate. People I know in the Palisades are hurting.
They're hurting.

Speaker 19 I went to the montage in Laguna Beach Tuesday night immediately. I said, I want one of the Sundaes.
The woman goes, they don't make them on the late night menu. I said, oh, that's funny.

Speaker 19 My house burned down. She then gave me a sundae and I went to pay her.
She said, it's free. I said, thank you.

Speaker 19 Folks, I don't care. I'm getting my beak wet.
I'm going to get my beak wet. I'm going to get my beak wet here.

Speaker 19 You think I've paid enough taxes into this shithole that I am going to reap the benefits of the sympathy that I'm kind of getting that might not be correct.

Speaker 19 If you haven't spoken to me in a year and you're texting me about my house, I'm not going to be honest with you. You don't deserve it.
We're not friends.

Speaker 19 I've been honest with my friends. They knew I sold my house.
If you've not spoken to me in a year, I'm telling you, I don't know what's going on with my house.

Speaker 19 It's probably on fire and I've lost everything.

Speaker 19 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 19 I want you to be sad. I want you to send me, oh my God,

Speaker 19 I can't believe this. And I don't want to make, it's not a class thing with the Palisades.

Speaker 19 The reason

Speaker 19 that I feel a little less bad for them is not because they're rich.

Speaker 19 It's not because they're rich. It's because I know them.

Speaker 19 That's all. I've had experiences with them

Speaker 19 in life.

Speaker 19 It's not just a monetary thing. I don't mind that.
Beverly Hills, I'd be crying. I'd be crying.
We're recording this on Sunday.

Speaker 19 If this fire rolls through Brentwood and then Bel Air and Beverly Hills, I will cry.

Speaker 19 And the city's maybe toast.

Speaker 19 We don't know.

Speaker 19 There's arsonists running around setting fires all over the place. They're arresting them one by one.
They're trying to, they let one guy out.

Speaker 19 And I think some of them might be genuinely homeless. But by the way, if you were a terrorist group,

Speaker 19 maybe being funded by a foreign country or not, wouldn't you disguise cells as homeless people?

Speaker 19 Because in LA, there are so many homeless people. If you wanted to blend in in LA, you'd just be homeless.

Speaker 19 So if I'm a foreign country

Speaker 19 and I'm talking to my terrorist cells and I go, guys, in order to blend into this society, you must shit on the street and be homeless.

Speaker 19 And no one, and they're going to go, wait a minute, won't that, isn't that a tell? Won't we get arrested immediately? Won't that give us away? I go, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 19 You're the safest people in the town. Sleep on someone's lawn, piss on yourself, shit on the street.
No one will even say anything.

Speaker 19 You will not,

Speaker 19 you will not be stopped by the police. In fact, if people call the police and say, a man is shitting on my lawn, the police hang up the phone.
They don't care. There's nothing for them to do.

Speaker 19 So if you're going to assimilate into Los Angeles society, you must be homeless.

Speaker 19 So I can't quite say if this is an organized terrorist attack, by the way, it's brilliant. It's brilliant.
This is our one weakness. No one would even say anything about a homeless guy with a gas can.

Speaker 19 These dumb cunts in the Palisades, if they saw a homeless man with a gas can,

Speaker 19 They'd go, he's just having some fun. He's probably trying to warm himself up

Speaker 19 because

Speaker 19 their brains have been rotted. Their brains, it's the same reason they're all being relentlessly positive right now, saying this is going to be fine.
It's going to be fine.

Speaker 19 Entire swaths of the city are gone. There was no water in the fucking hydrants.
Nobody cleared any of this brush. They didn't do any control burns.

Speaker 19 They didn't prepare any of these areas with high forestation, any of this shit. None of it was done.
We didn't want to upset a fish.

Speaker 19 Some tribal elder was like, this fish can't go extinct.

Speaker 19 The Pacific Palisades Reservoir was offline when the fires arrived. We were completely, woefully unprepared for this.

Speaker 19 The mayor was in Africa. The governor's gotten the vineyard he lives in, or whatever the hell he's doing.

Speaker 19 So the government completely bungled the response to this.

Speaker 19 It was a crazy high wind day.

Speaker 19 It could get worse.

Speaker 19 And now it's probably

Speaker 19 one of the fires we know, or one or two of the fires, was definitely arson.

Speaker 19 And if it's arson and it's homeless people, it's either homeless people that are just crazy and lighting fires, which is absolutely possible, or somebody's saying, blend in as a homeless person.

Speaker 19 They won't notice.

Speaker 19 They won't care. It will be like any other day there.

Speaker 19 What we know about the arrests arrests made for this arsonist, okay?

Speaker 19 The man has been arrested on a felony probation violation, but no further details were given at the press conference. The investigation is ongoing.

Speaker 19 I'm going to read you a text that I got from Eli Roth, who is a director. He directed the movie Thanksgiving that I was in.

Speaker 19 He said this,

Speaker 19 4 p.m. on Wednesday on Outpost Drive, a homeless man poured gasoline down the sewer grate and lit it on fire.

Speaker 19 By total coincidence, someone from the gas company saw him do this and called the fire department. They put it out.
The neighbors were all saying, what kind of mentally disturbed person would do this?

Speaker 19 What kind of homeless person walks around with a can of gasoline lighting fires? You just don't go back to the park and shoot up after that.

Speaker 19 Then two hours later, out of nowhere with no burning embers near us, Runyon goes up. We watch it from our bedroom window, a little smoke, and then five minutes later, the whole hill on fire.

Speaker 19 So these are people I know, real people witnessing this behavior. Homeless man with flamethrower busted on suspicion of arson near LA's Kenneth fire after residents detain him.

Speaker 19 Let's watch a little bit of this because

Speaker 19 it may become clear, and we don't know yet. I'm speculating.
I don't know anything. It may become clear this is a coordinated attack.
It may not be.

Speaker 19 It may be a series of random psychos taking advantage of the weather conditions. It may be

Speaker 19 cells, terrorist cells that have embedded themselves in the country. People that posed as refugees or posed as homeless people.
I don't know. These are all possibilities.
They're all on the table.

Speaker 19 This could be a massive failure of a power company that's trying to cover it up. I don't know.

Speaker 19 Let's take a look at this here. What is this? This is a homeless guy.

Speaker 19 Do we have volume on this or no? No.

Speaker 19 Is this the guy that was caught with

Speaker 19 the five cell phones? Do we know that? Can we look that up and see if that's true or not?

Speaker 19 That guy doesn't look that homeless.

Speaker 19 By the way,

Speaker 19 I don't know how homeless that guy is, but he doesn't look that homeless.

Speaker 19 People in LA have to wake up a little bit. They have to wake up a little bit because it's not apparent what's going on.

Speaker 19 What we do know is that

Speaker 19 a tremendous amount of the city has, we're having Adam Carolla on very soon.

Speaker 19 He's lived in LA forever and he has thoughts on this as well as to why this is happening the way it is happening.

Speaker 19 And I'm not claiming that this is

Speaker 19 that we know. They said the Palisades fire started in a house and it's probably correct.
High winds knocked down power, you know, knocked out poles and everything.

Speaker 19 So the thing about it, this is the issue. I was in New York during 9-11.
I was a kid. I was in 11th grade in high school.
But New York,

Speaker 19 there's grit.

Speaker 19 LA,

Speaker 19 this is going to be tough. This is not a city of,

Speaker 19 that's not what LA is about.

Speaker 19 LA is not about tragedy.

Speaker 19 It's about pretending tragedy doesn't happen.

Speaker 19 It's about sunshine. It's about casual conversations in a coffee shop.

Speaker 19 It's about being passive-aggressive. It's about,

Speaker 19 you know, kind of internalizing the loneliness of living in this mountainous region.

Speaker 19 Out where these fires started, the highlands of the Palisades in Malibu, it's like Jurassic Park. People shouldn't live there.

Speaker 19 It's a little unreasonable to say, I want to live in a forest on top of a mountain overlooking the ocean, but I also want it to be a desert with no rain and get perfect weather every day.

Speaker 19 It's unreasonable. LA is where Hollywood started.
Eastern European Jews from New York went to LA to start the movie business. And whether you hate LA or love LA,

Speaker 19 Realize that the movies and the music that America's churned out

Speaker 19 is the only reason we're not completely hated the world over.

Speaker 19 Really, truly.

Speaker 19 I mean, the goodwill that a Tommy boy or an anchorman or something like that bought us, you can't even quantify.

Speaker 19 Motown, things that Elvis Preston, I mean, I know Motown's not in LA, but, you know, Capitol Records was, the idea, and I'm not saying it's not, it wasn't terrible and it wasn't, you know,

Speaker 19 you know, rapists and pedophiles and all that. And there was a ton of that, but the actual product,

Speaker 19 the cinema, the music, is one of the reasons that America has some goodwill in the world.

Speaker 19 Because we would bomb all these countries, but then they would like

Speaker 19 watch,

Speaker 19 you know,

Speaker 19 you know, the Marx brothers and go, this is kind of good.

Speaker 19 So

Speaker 19 at the end of the day,

Speaker 19 even if you hate LA

Speaker 19 or find the people there to be vapid, fake,

Speaker 19 you know,

Speaker 19 annoying,

Speaker 19 it serves a very integral purpose and has, if you look at the history of America,

Speaker 19 the movies, the music,

Speaker 19 the stories that were told, and yes, some of them were absolutely propaganda. We were heavily propagandized and Hollywood was a big part of that.
But then there was also just really, really good shit.

Speaker 19 Really funny, great stuff, great dramatic stuff. We don't make it anymore.
That's part of the problem. We don't make it anymore.
It hasn't been good for a while.

Speaker 19 In mass, there are good things here and there, but in mass, it hasn't been good for a while.

Speaker 20 This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 24 This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturalistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 27 Hey, Bowen, it's gift season.

Speaker 29 Oh, stressing me out.

Speaker 30 Why are all the people I love so hard to shop for?

Speaker 31 Like me? Exactly.

Speaker 23 Honey, I'm easy.

Speaker 32 But you're right.

Speaker 33 Holiday gifting is stressful.

Speaker 35 And all the gift guides out there are boring and uninspired.

Speaker 36 Wait, what about the guide we made? In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts mean incredible value?

Speaker 19 It's giving gifts!

Speaker 42 A series of guides filled with premium gifts at great value for everyone on your list.

Speaker 45 Yeah, because if I see one more for the dad who likes golf list, I'm out.

Speaker 48 Right?

Speaker 49 How about something for the people who actually surprise you?

Speaker 54 With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, ps, she wants a pair of stilettos.

Speaker 58 Or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have.

Speaker 59 Dying to see what those are.

Speaker 32 And you won't believe their prices.

Speaker 61 Just wait till you see what else is in there.

Speaker 62 It's basically a one-stop shop for everyone you know.

Speaker 66 I started bookmarking half the list for myself, honestly.

Speaker 68 This is the guide for the 2025 holiday gifting season.

Speaker 71 Check out the guide on marshalls.com.

Speaker 72 It's giving gifts.

Speaker 55 Gift the good stuff at Marshalls.

Speaker 1 Life gets messy.

Speaker 12 Spills, stains, and kid chaos.

Speaker 2 But with Anime, cleaning up is easy.

Speaker 5 Our sofas are fully machine-washable, inside and out, so you never have to stress about messes again.

Speaker 1 Made with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind.

Speaker 13 Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers, allowing you to refresh your style anytime.

Speaker 1 Need flexibility?

Speaker 75 Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly.

Speaker 1 Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes.

Speaker 3 Plus, they're earth-friendly and built to last.

Speaker 1 That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch.

Speaker 17 Get early access to Black Friday pricing right now.

Speaker 8 Sofas started just $699.

Speaker 1 Visit washable sofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life.

Speaker 15 That's washablesofas.com.

Speaker 2 Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 19 When Hollywood became

Speaker 19 an engine of

Speaker 19 social justice or whatever you want to call it, when they started getting really annoying,

Speaker 19 when they became like

Speaker 19 a mom, like an annoying mom, and they started lecturing people, everybody said, we don't like this.

Speaker 19 It's like, you know, your friend's dad that you know cheats on his wife all the time. He's fun at the barbecues, but just don't lecture us when you catch us with cigarettes.

Speaker 19 You're cheating on your wife all the time, and we know it. And it's damaging your son, but you are cool and you do have a boat.

Speaker 19 And we like that.

Speaker 19 But don't, if you catch us with cigarettes, don't lecture us. You're a philandering scumbag, but you have a boat and you let us throw parties in your yard.
There has to be that guy.

Speaker 19 That's what LA, it's a scumbag.

Speaker 19 Parent,

Speaker 19 my friends had that. I loved it.

Speaker 19 You need it. You need a rich scumbag parent who lets you have the party in their yard.

Speaker 19 That's LA. Now, yes, the party can get out of control and a kid dies or whatever, and then it's not good.

Speaker 19 But for the most part, you need that scumbag parent.

Speaker 19 Look at this scumbag. If you didn't know better, and I showed you this man's face,

Speaker 19 you would say that's the scumbag parent. But the problem is,

Speaker 19 this guy who's still cheating on his wife and is still a scumbag said no more parties in the yard

Speaker 19 because

Speaker 19 we don't want to use the grill because of the emission standards. And you go, hey, scumbag,

Speaker 19 that's not what this is.

Speaker 19 So that's the issue. Everyone started hating LA when LA started telling everyone how to fucking live.
That's not what it's there to do.

Speaker 19 It's not there. It's there to just entertain you and make you happy for a few brief moments in this crazy existence we all have.
It's not there to tell you how to live because LA is irrational.

Speaker 19 It's unreasonable. It's people that all come there because they want something that

Speaker 19 is often unattainable for most of them. It's unattainable.

Speaker 19 They go, I want to be famous. Well, it's not attainable.
You don't have the talent or the work ethic or the luck or the connections or the looks or the drive.

Speaker 19 You're unwilling to make the sacrifices, whatever.

Speaker 19 I don't know. But those people

Speaker 19 then stay in LA

Speaker 19 and they have to just,

Speaker 19 they become this relentlessly positive, like they're talking about manifesting and

Speaker 19 meditation's health and its green juices and its wellness because the underlying unfulfillment, the deep chasm of unfulfillment in their lives has to be filled up with something.

Speaker 19 So they think if they live forever, then maybe, well, maybe down the road, someone will realize how talented I am. They won't.
You're not enough.

Speaker 19 But I get it.

Speaker 19 It serves a purpose. It catches a lot of shit, and rightly so.

Speaker 19 People in LA,

Speaker 19 you know, as a guy from the East Coast, it's strange to me.

Speaker 19 It's strange. They're odd.
They're different.

Speaker 19 You know, the whites more. The Mexicans are cool.
But the white people are, you know,

Speaker 19 they feel cult-like a little bit.

Speaker 19 You know? And that's why this is going to be hard to see these people

Speaker 19 handling this because they have to like stop with the positivity. You're on fire.

Speaker 19 Stop thinking you can manifest everything, manifest a new government. You're on fire.

Speaker 19 The green juice won't put out the fire. You have to get rational.
You have to wake up.

Speaker 19 And it's not a city of people that have the ability to wake up. I'm talking to all of them.
They're all in such now. They're like, well, the cleanup might be done by the end of the year.

Speaker 19 It's still burning.

Speaker 19 You moron.

Speaker 19 Stop

Speaker 19 this relentless positivity. It's going to get you killed.

Speaker 19 This positive garb, it's going to get you killed. These people are going to kill you.

Speaker 19 You have an incompetent government. They're letting people

Speaker 19 run around the city with gas cans lighting your homes on fire. At what point do you wake up?

Speaker 19 At what point do you say, you know, perhaps we should

Speaker 19 think about this?

Speaker 19 It's not rude of you to request that homeless people don't light you on fire.

Speaker 19 That's not an unreasonable request.

Speaker 19 It's not.

Speaker 19 It's not an unreasonable request

Speaker 19 that

Speaker 19 you would say, you know, I just prefer to not be lit on fire.

Speaker 19 In a social media post on Saturday evening, Trump blamed California's leaders for the current situation. The fires were all raging in L.A.
The incompetent Pauls have no idea how to put them out.

Speaker 19 Thousands of magnificent houses are gone, and many more will soon be lost. He wrote on Truth Social.

Speaker 19 They can't put out the fires. What's wrong with them?

Speaker 19 Earlier in the week, he criticized Gavin Newsom for refusing to sign the water restoration declaration put before him that would have allowed millions of gallons of water to put out the fire.

Speaker 19 This is a fuck. Whether you hate Trump or love Trump, it's clearly a fuck-up

Speaker 19 by the California government. They were not prepared for this.
That doesn't mean that you can avoid every wildfire in a place that is a high wildfire risk. Newsom opposed that at the time.
This is the

Speaker 19 water

Speaker 19 restoration bill, saying he wanted to protect, quote, highly imperiled fish species close to extinction.

Speaker 19 So, I mean,

Speaker 19 this is where we're at

Speaker 19 here.

Speaker 19 This is behind me as a result. I hope the fish is happy.
Can we eat the fish? We're going to need to eat the fish soon because the grocery stores have burned.

Speaker 19 So, I'm hoping that this extinct fish we protected is tasty and it can be fried up and thrown on a bun.

Speaker 19 And listen.

Speaker 19 The first responders need stuff and give it to them.

Speaker 19 You know, it is amazing that you, you, and I'm not saying not to donate, obviously, donate, obviously.

Speaker 19 But why, when you pay the highest taxes in America, does no one have anything?

Speaker 19 Why does no one have anything? Why are there no supplies? I'm not saying not to donate extra, but why is there no readiness of the highest taxes in America? Why does, why does everybody, you know,

Speaker 19 now go and donate the bottles of water and the protein bars and whatever, but I mean, there's

Speaker 19 my house is burned down.

Speaker 19 My house burned down that I worked hard for. My house burned and I cried in the street because it was everything I had.

Speaker 19 Besides the other three, the problem is this.

Speaker 19 When I watch that house burn down, that beautiful Spanish style,

Speaker 19 and it just burned down and it that smell of the char in my nose. And then I go, can we speed the room service time up? Can we speed the time up?

Speaker 19 I'm not,

Speaker 19 my house burned down is a figure of speech. I will not stop using it.
I'm going to use it. I'm not not using it.
My house burned down. It's the first thing I'm going to say to anyone I meet now.

Speaker 19 My house is burnt down. It burned down.

Speaker 19 I am starting a GoFundMe for myself. I don't care if you don't think it's justified.

Speaker 19 I am using a picture of a burnt down house and I'm starting to go fund me for myself

Speaker 19 because I want to go on a trip to Tokyo and I want you to pay for it.

Speaker 19 I feel bad for the people in the Palisades. Those zannied-out cunts driving in their Range Rovers didn't deserve this.

Speaker 19 They didn't deserve this. These drugged up women and their philandering husbands, writer-producers, agents, managers, whatever.

Speaker 19 They didn't deserve this. Their snowboarding retard children did not deserve this.
Sorry, Luke. They should have their home.

Speaker 19 They deserve their home in their little retarded town that they think is nice with an airwan. God damn it, get us to Palm Beach.
God only likes Pomp Beach.

Speaker 19 But they like their little outdoor mall and it's nice.

Speaker 19 You go to this little mall and you sit there and you'll be white with your fucking unironic cowboy hat that you have because you think you're in a fucking Western, you're in Yellowstone. Okay?

Speaker 19 but you're not. Your husband's an accountant for Fox.
You're not in Yellowstone. Okay?

Speaker 19 But they like that little outdoor mall, and it's nice. They walk around there and they have coffee and they talk about who has cancer and whose kids are trans or whatever.
That's their thing.

Speaker 19 And it was wrong. I think it's still there, actually, because Caruso, the billionaire who I supported, protected it.

Speaker 19 But they didn't deserve this. Yes, they're annoying.
Yes, they were tweeting Black Lives Matter from a fucking, you know, mansion.

Speaker 19 It's annoying. They're annoying

Speaker 19 they're annoying but but but they didn't deserve this now obviously the people in altadena didn't deserve it we all know that

Speaker 19 and in the hollywood hills well it's a case-by-case

Speaker 19 but the palisades is this little basic bitch town of rich people

Speaker 19 but not rich like most of the palisades is like the working rich. It's not old money.
It's nothing I would respect. It's not Palm Beach.
It's not Greenwich. It's not Manhattan.
It's the Palisade.

Speaker 19 Oh, you produced,

Speaker 19 I don't know,

Speaker 19 desperate housewives.

Speaker 19 So you live in the Palisades. You got an $8.5 million house.
You got a $9 million house.

Speaker 19 Okay? You got a wife and a psychiatrist and a kid in rehab or something. Or living in New York trying to produce rap.

Speaker 19 Whatever's going on, you're the working rich. You don't deserve this.

Speaker 19 You and your wife are divorced. You check on her every now and then.
She checks on you. You live somewhere else now.

Speaker 19 Maybe at 10,000 Santa Monica, licking your wounds and other things.

Speaker 19 But they don't deserve this.

Speaker 19 No one deserves their entire

Speaker 19 little town to burn. It's not right.
It was a fun little town. It's a basic, dumb little town with people that thought they had more money than they did.

Speaker 19 It was a fun little Erwan to go. You get a nice little burrito in the morning or something.
It was a fun little town, those moms. They didn't deserve this.

Speaker 19 And I was at the parker in Palm Springs with many of them. Many of them, some of them would tell me they're going to New York.

Speaker 19 You know, their families have five-bedroom co-ops on the Upper East Side. They need to put the kids in school.
They go, we got to get our kids in school. They're getting dumber by the day.

Speaker 19 That was a direct quote. And as they were checking into the hotel, they go, how many square footage? footage, what's the square footage of the room?

Speaker 19 And the desk person, you know, because they're all flustered, the desk person goes, I think it's like 350. And one of the women goes, oh, is there anything bigger? Is there anything bigger?

Speaker 19 Oh, no, ma'am.

Speaker 19 We're sorry. We've had a big influx of people coming in from LA.
Oh, there's no sweets or anything bigger. Oh, is there anything bigger?

Speaker 19 It doesn't mean that they deserve this. They didn't deserve it.

Speaker 19 And for all you fundamentalist Christians going,

Speaker 19 it's because the gays or whatever, that part of West Hollywood's fine. Most of the people of Palestinians are straight.
And if God was really mad at them, he wouldn't burn one of their six homes.

Speaker 19 They're going to be okay, but they don't deserve this.

Speaker 19 It's not right. I don't deserve it.
I like taking that road. I like driving that road.

Speaker 19 It's a rich little retarded town.

Speaker 19 Let these people, what do you think happens when the rest of you scumbags make money? What do you think you're going to do?

Speaker 19 You're going to live in a dumb little town with a little fucking outdoor mall. It's the American dream.

Speaker 19 You're going to go to a bookstore and buy a little book and read five pages of it and then just put it on your mantle and make people think you read.

Speaker 19 What do you think you're going to do when you make money? What do you

Speaker 19 think it's to live in the, that's the whole dream is to live in the Pacific Palisades where 90% of the houses can't see the Pacific. It's a scam.
It doesn't matter.

Speaker 19 That's the point of America is to live in this little retarded town with your outdoor mall and you spump into people in the outdoor mall with your dog.

Speaker 19 It's the point. They didn't deserve it.

Speaker 19 They didn't deserve it. It's peak civilization there.

Speaker 19 It's just enough money to think you have more.

Speaker 19 It's just enough money to have enough and to be rich, but to pretend to weirdly not be rich.

Speaker 19 If you haven't lived in LA, you don't know.

Speaker 20 This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culture Eastas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 24 This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culturalistos with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 27 Hey, Bowen, it's gift season.

Speaker 29 Ugh, stressing me out.

Speaker 30 Why are all the people I love so hard to shop for?

Speaker 31 Like me? Exactly.

Speaker 23 Honey, I'm easy.

Speaker 33 But you're right. Holiday gifting is stressful.

Speaker 34 And all the gift guides out there are boring and uninspired.

Speaker 36 Wait, what about the guide we made? In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts mean incredible value?

Speaker 19 It's giving gifts!

Speaker 41 A series of guides filled with premium gifts at great value for everyone on your list.

Speaker 45 Yeah, because if I see one more for the dad who likes golf list, I'm out.

Speaker 48 Right?

Speaker 49 How about something for the people who actually surprise you?

Speaker 54 With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, ps, she wants a pair of stilettos.

Speaker 58 Or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have.

Speaker 59 Dying to see what those are.

Speaker 32 And you won't believe their prices.

Speaker 61 Just wait till you see what else is in there.

Speaker 62 It's basically a one-stop shop for everyone you know.

Speaker 65 I started bookmarking half the list for myself, honestly.

Speaker 68 This is the guy for the 2025 holiday gifting season.

Speaker 71 Check out the guide on marshalls.com.

Speaker 72 It's giving gifts.

Speaker 55 Gift the good stuff at Marshalls.

Speaker 1 Life gets messy.

Speaker 12 Spills, stains, and kid chaos.

Speaker 8 But with Anime, cleaning up is easy.

Speaker 5 Our sofas are fully machine washable, inside and out, so you never have to stress about messes again.

Speaker 1 Made with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind.

Speaker 13 Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers, allowing you to refresh your style anytime.

Speaker 1 Need flexibility?

Speaker 75 Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly.

Speaker 1 Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes.

Speaker 3 Plus, they're earth-friendly and built to last.

Speaker 1 That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch.

Speaker 17 Get early access to Black Friday pricing right now.

Speaker 8 Sofas started just $699.

Speaker 1 Visit washable sofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life.

Speaker 15 That's washablesofas.com.

Speaker 2 Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 19 I'm only with Persians. I spend time only with Persians.
I want big money, big, big, big.

Speaker 19 Big Iran, the Shah, big Bentley, big Rolls-Royce. I don't want to do a guessing game in the Palisades with your little bungalow that might be worth $10 million and your fucking dumb little hat.

Speaker 19 I want to know if you got it like that or not. I want to see chunky jewelry around your fucking hairy chest.

Speaker 19 But it's nice to go see the Palisades. That's where the whites are.
What are the whites doing? You got to check up on them. What are the white?

Speaker 19 Well, they're pretending to be in Yellowstone now, and they're all on drugs.

Speaker 19 They're zannied out. And they're pretending to be in yellow.
That's what the whites are up to.

Speaker 19 You got to check on the whites every now and then. Persian Jews drove them out of Beverly Hills.

Speaker 19 So they went to Brentwood in the Palisades, where they've erected some fantasy land, where they tweet out liberal garbage

Speaker 19 while they also call the police and go, get over here. I saw someone.

Speaker 19 It's the height of hypocrisy, the Pacific Palisades. It's a very democratic place.

Speaker 19 It's a very,

Speaker 19 you know, California place. It's a lot of

Speaker 19 cognitive dissonance.

Speaker 19 That's what it is, but they didn't deserve this. No one does.

Speaker 19 That the home

Speaker 19 that you caught your husband cheating on you in is still your home.

Speaker 19 The home where you told your son, get a job, you dirtbag, is still your home. The home where you confronted your daughter and said, where are my bills? That's your home.

Speaker 19 the home where you had a little meeting in your back house with the writer that was going to write the story about your life that you thought was so fucking interesting because your mother's romanian

Speaker 19 whatever

Speaker 19 that's still your home

Speaker 19 the inane banal conversations with your stupid neighbors that happened at your dumb little garden party that nobody wanted to go to and they came to just judge you and you all drank white wine and stood in

Speaker 19 your little yard that was eight and a half million dollars for no goddamn reason, that's still your fucking home.

Speaker 19 And you don't deserve that.

Speaker 19 I hope this is coming across sympathetic. That's the intent.

Speaker 19 That's the intent. But it's not a town about handing bottles of water out.
It never will be. If LA becomes a town where good people help each other, it's over.

Speaker 19 It's fucking over. Then burn the rest of it down.
Burn the rest of it down. If LA is going to pretend to be a town of

Speaker 19 people that are genuinely good and not just pretending, then burn it all down. It's no point.
It's no point. It's no point.

Speaker 19 Burn the rest of it.

Speaker 19 If that's the thing,

Speaker 19 if I see someone handing a bottle of water to a first responder, I'm going to gas can them. Get out of there!

Speaker 19 Because it's not what it's about. It's not what the city is about.

Speaker 19 The city is actually about

Speaker 19 immediately realizing that the government has fucked you.

Speaker 19 Becoming right-wing. You're already dressed like cowboys.
Go with it. Go with it, dum-dums.

Speaker 19 Throw these scumbags out of office.

Speaker 19 Lower your taxes. Get the homeless out of there and somebody take the gas cans out of their hands.
Okay?

Speaker 19 And go back to making entertainment. Stop raping and pillaging and pedophiling and start making good things again.
Funny things, good drama,

Speaker 19 good

Speaker 19 art, good

Speaker 19 creative stuff that captivates people and keeps them where they belong on their couch.

Speaker 19 That's what you do.

Speaker 19 That's what you do over there at Netflix and Hulu and

Speaker 19 Amazon and

Speaker 19 whatever the other ones are,

Speaker 19 Peacock and Tubi, whatever.

Speaker 19 Your job is to keep people on their couch watching you. And you've failed.
You've failed.

Speaker 19 The capital riot happened because no one had anything to watch.

Speaker 19 You need to go back to making things that are good.

Speaker 19 There's enough people that come to LA to be exploited. You do not have to force them.

Speaker 19 You don't need to do that.

Speaker 19 I'm telling you, there's enough people.

Speaker 19 Are these the celebrities whose homes?

Speaker 19 Jeff Bridges, great.

Speaker 19 Adam Brody and Leighton Meister.

Speaker 19 Billy Crystal, great.

Speaker 19 Carrie Elwez, don't know.

Speaker 19 Anna Farris, don't care. Mel Gibson, great.

Speaker 19 John Goodman, great. Brian Greenberg and Jamie Chung, don't know, don't care.
Jennifer Gray, eh.

Speaker 19 Paris Hilton, don't care.

Speaker 19 Anthony Hopkins, great.

Speaker 19 Bazoma St. John, sad.

Speaker 19 Taron Killiam and Colby Smulders. Meh.
Sorry.

Speaker 19 Tina Knowles, Beyonce's mother.

Speaker 19 Ricky Lake, didn't retweet my thing. Fuck her.

Speaker 19 No, when the show came out, she didn't retweet it. Fuck her.
Sandra Lee, sad. Eugene Levy, love.
Cameron Matheson, who's that? Is that the fat chick from the practice? No, that's Cameron Mannheim.

Speaker 19 Sorry, keep going.

Speaker 19 Rosie O'Donnell, she'll be fine. I think she's got a great thing in Miami.
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Monteg, sad. They came to a show of mine once.
Melissa River, sad, loved her mother.

Speaker 19 Candy Spelling, lunatic. Miles Teller, sad, great actor.
Milo Ventamilia, great actor. Diane Warren, sad.
James Woods, stop crying. All right, that's all.
But

Speaker 19 what about Tim Dylan?

Speaker 19 Email, who was that?

Speaker 19 Vanity Fair. Email Vanity Fair, Tim Dylan's house burned down with his family in it.
They would kill.

Speaker 19 And they died. Email Vanity Fair, my family's dead.

Speaker 19 And a nice photo of me, not that fucking crap from Getty Images. They always use these scumbag media enemies of mine.
We're going to deal with that at the inauguration.

Speaker 19 I'm going to say, I need somebody to get in there to get Getty Images and get some of these people. But email them and let them know my house is burned down and my family is dead.

Speaker 19 Tim Dylan's house burns down. He, and the only reason he couldn't save his family was he was saving a family of color.

Speaker 19 I went to save the family of color next door and my white family died. Email Vanity Fair that, please.

Speaker 19 And they can call me. I will do an interview about it.
Email every publication that I've lost my house because, and I was saving a black family at my block. So my own family died.

Speaker 19 What is the update on the fires now? What are they doing? They're going to roll into Brentwood. They better not.

Speaker 19 I hope

Speaker 19 people

Speaker 19 see this as what it is. Here's a mess.
I'm trying to be hopeful. I think the city's down for the count for a little bit.

Speaker 19 I'm a little worried that some of my friends don't seem to realize the scope of this. It needs a total overhaul.
This isn't just like a thing.

Speaker 19 This is a deeply structural issue, and you've got to make lots of changes. And it's no good to just go climate change.

Speaker 19 We all know climate change is an issue, but like, you know, it's also there's practical things that can be done, like not saving the fish,

Speaker 19 like having water in the hydrants.

Speaker 19 LA Fire closes in on Posh Brentwood neighborhood, where Kamala Harris and LeBron James have homes. Wow.
Play this.

Speaker 19 It's really, really tough right now for a lot of people.

Speaker 19 And obviously, we are sad for them.

Speaker 19 For the people in Altatina, the working class people, our hearts are broken.

Speaker 19 And for the people of the Palisades, we are also sad because not all of them were rich.

Speaker 19 But,

Speaker 19 you know,

Speaker 19 would I be lying to you if I said these were the most sympathetic people in the world? Would that be a lie? Be a little bit of a lie. Be a lie.

Speaker 19 Be a lie.

Speaker 19 If I said the people that I'm checking into hotels with with ironic cowboy hats

Speaker 19 are the most sympathetic group of people in the world, I would be lying to you. I don't want to lie to the audience that has done so much for me.
They bought me that house at Burn Down.

Speaker 19 It's tough. It's tough because nobody deserves it.
So now, are we seeing any fire here? Oh, there it is.

Speaker 19 It's approaching Mandeville Canyon in Brentwood. We got to contain this thing and shut it down.

Speaker 19 The rebuilding needs to start.

Speaker 19 BlackRock and these scumbags better not think they're going to put a bunch of hotels in Malibu so I can see all these Long Island pigs I grew up with. That's not the point.
That ain't the point.

Speaker 19 The point is that Malibu

Speaker 19 is a place for like rich people who've gone completely insane and say things like, the ocean is my teacher.

Speaker 19 That's the point. The point of living in Malibu is you think you're going to look like you're going to be healthy like Gabby Reese and Laird Hamilton, but it's not necessarily the case.

Speaker 19 Sometimes it is. But that's the point.
The point of Malibu is to kind of leave the earth.

Speaker 19 It's not, don't turn it into Ocean City, Maryland. I don't want Laffy Taffy in Malibu.
I don't want Buka de Pepo in Malibu. Don't do it.
Don't zone this to put a bunch of hotels there. Don't do it.

Speaker 19 If there's a Disney World Malibu, I'll light it on fire. Don't do this.
Don't do Harry Potter World and the Palisade. Don't do this.

Speaker 19 And if that's why this whole thing, if that's how it's going to end up,

Speaker 19 I'm telling, we'll burn that down.

Speaker 19 The houses should now be, it should be for

Speaker 19 the Palisades should now have six houses in it, and they should each be worth a billion dollars.

Speaker 19 Go richer,

Speaker 19 richer.

Speaker 19 There should be parcels of land sold off to billionaires who put competing castles up. The Palisade should have 19 residents, excluding staff.

Speaker 19 Go richer.

Speaker 19 Don't bring in the pigs. Don't bring in the pigs and the piglets.

Speaker 19 We don't want the pigs and the piglets in Malibu. And if you're going to do that, we're going to burn it down again.

Speaker 19 I will drive, if you do Disney World Malibu, I will drive homeless people with gas cans around until we correct that mistake.

Speaker 19 So don't. Don't do it.

Speaker 19 Karen Bass has got to go. Gavin Newsome's got to go.
I got to get involved in an official capacity.

Speaker 19 Put Whitney Cummings in. Put me in.
See what happens. What could happen?

Speaker 19 Put Sebastian in. Fire.
What ain't done.

Speaker 19 Did you see his thing? Can we play his thing? He's like, how to fire start? What are they doing? What the fire?

Speaker 19 Fire?

Speaker 19 I think he's hilarious and I love him. People criticize this for being tone deaf.
I actually thought it was great. And I kind of agreed with him.

Speaker 19 It is weird to get the grill going, but he did post this as

Speaker 19 people were burning alive.

Speaker 19 What's up with wildfires? Anyone want to tell me how these things start?

Speaker 19 Los Angeles, it's windy today and the whole city's in flames. Where

Speaker 19 are the fires starting? Does someone flick a cigarette? Wind gets a hole of it. Next thing you know, it's an inferno.
Listen, I could probably Google it. Probably a simple answer.

Speaker 19 I know wind spreads the fire, but what I want to know is who's starting the fire? Have you ever tried to start a fire? He's right.

Speaker 19 I can't even get my grill going or my fireplace going without kindling sticks, but the whole city's up in flames. Let me know.

Speaker 19 People got, I think people were not thrilled with that.

Speaker 19 But I agree with him. I agree with all of his questions.
It's like, how does this happen? Why is it happening?

Speaker 19 And that's the big thing we're going to have to figure out. Who are the people doing this arson? Is it coordinated? Are they just psychos? They could just be psycho.

Speaker 19 You can't let a bunch of drug-addicted, mentally ill psychopaths run around the city with gas cans. It's a terrible idea.
It's out of a Stephen King novel, literally.

Speaker 19 It's literally out of a Stephen King novel. So

Speaker 19 burglary suspect dressed as firefighters arrested in LA fire. zones.
Did you hear this? They stole Humvees from the National Guard or something.

Speaker 19 I heard that. Someone told me that.
My realtor told me that they stole

Speaker 19 like the National Guard got robbed in LA.

Speaker 19 But people are doing home invasions dressed up as firefighters.

Speaker 19 and looting these areas where people have their stuff.

Speaker 19 So here, make this. Los Angeles authorities say they arrested 29 more people overnight in the fire zones, including one burglary suspect who is allegedly dressed as a firefighter.

Speaker 19 Of the arrests, 25 people are apprehended in the Eaton Fire, four in the Palisades fire zone.

Speaker 19 We have people who will go to all ends to do what they do. Los Angeles Police Department Chief Jim McDonald said of a man dressed in a fire jacket and helmet burglarizing homes.

Speaker 19 One man who was driving a truck was arrested in the Palisades area.

Speaker 19 Other suspects were found inside the vehicle. The men pretended to be associated with the fire station, but a quick check with the fire department proved that not to be the case.

Speaker 20 This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 24 This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturistos with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 27 Hey, Bowen, it's gift season.

Speaker 29 Ugh, stressing me out.

Speaker 30 Why are all the people I love so hard to shop for?

Speaker 31 Like me? Exactly.

Speaker 23 Honey, I'm easy.

Speaker 33 But you're right. Holiday gifting is stressful.

Speaker 34 And all the gift guides out there are boring and uninspired.

Speaker 36 Wait, what about the guide we made? In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts mean incredible value?

Speaker 19 It's giving gifts!

Speaker 42 A series of guides filled with premium gifts at great value for everyone on your list.

Speaker 45 Yeah, because if I see one more for the dad who likes golf list, I'm out.

Speaker 48 Right?

Speaker 49 How about something for the people who actually surprise you?

Speaker 54 With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, ps, she wants a pair of stilettos.

Speaker 58 Or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have.

Speaker 59 Dying Dying to see what those are.

Speaker 32 And you won't believe their prices.

Speaker 61 Just wait till you see what else is in there.

Speaker 62 It's basically a one-stop shop for everyone you know.

Speaker 65 I started bookmarking half the list for myself, honestly.

Speaker 68 This is the guy for the 2025 holiday gifting season.

Speaker 71 Check out the guide on marshalls.com.

Speaker 72 It's giving gifts.

Speaker 55 Gift the good stuff at Marshalls.

Speaker 1 Tired of spills and stains on your sofa?

Speaker 7 Wash away your worries with Anibay.

Speaker 10 Anibay is the only machine washable sofa inside and out where designer quality meets budget-friendly prices.

Speaker 8 That's right, sofas start at just $699.

Speaker 77 Enjoy a no-risk experience with pet-friendly, stain-resistant, and changeable slip covers made with performance fabric.

Speaker 79 Experience cloud-like comfort with high-resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing.

Speaker 16 The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime.

Speaker 15 Shop washable sofas.com for early Black Friday savings up to 60% off site-wide.

Speaker 17 Backed by a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.

Speaker 14 If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund.

Speaker 74 No return shipping or restocking fees.

Speaker 12 Every penny back.

Speaker 3 Upgrade now at washable sofas.com.

Speaker 18 Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 20 This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 25 This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturalistos with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 27 Hey, Bowen, it's gift season.

Speaker 29 Ugh, stressing me out.

Speaker 30 Why are all the people I love so hard to shop for?

Speaker 31 Like me? Exactly.

Speaker 23 Honey, I'm easy.

Speaker 33 But you're right. Holiday gifting is stressful.

Speaker 34 And all the gift guides out there are boring and uninspired.

Speaker 36 Wait, what about the guide we made? In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts mean incredible value?

Speaker 19 It's giving gifts!

Speaker 42 A series of guides filled with premium gifts at great value for everyone on your list.

Speaker 45 Yeah, because if I see one more for the dad who likes golf list, I'm out.

Speaker 48 Right?

Speaker 49 How about something for the people who actually surprise you?

Speaker 54 With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, psych, she wants a pair of stilettos.

Speaker 58 Or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have.

Speaker 59 Dying to see what those are.

Speaker 32 And you won't believe their prices.

Speaker 61 Just wait till you see what else is in there.

Speaker 62 It's basically a one-stop shop for everyone you know.

Speaker 65 I started bookmarking half the list for myself, honestly.

Speaker 68 This is the guy for the 2025 holiday gifting season.

Speaker 71 Check out the guide on marshalls.com.

Speaker 72 It's giving gifts.

Speaker 55 Gift the good stuff at Marshalls.

Speaker 1 Tired of spills and stains on your sofa?

Speaker 7 Wash away your worries with Anibay.

Speaker 10 Anibay is the only machine-washable sofa inside and out where designer quality meets budget-friendly prices.

Speaker 8 That's right, sofas start at just $699.

Speaker 77 Enjoy a no-risk experience with pet-friendly, stain-resistant, and changeable slip covers made with performance fabric.

Speaker 79 Experience cloud-like comfort with high-resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing.

Speaker 2 The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime.

Speaker 17 Shop washable sofas.com for early Black Friday savings up to 60% off site-wide, backed by a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.

Speaker 14 If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund.

Speaker 74 No return shipping or restocking fees, every penny back.

Speaker 15 Upgrade now at washablesofas.com.

Speaker 18 Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 19 I'm telling you, so National Guard arrives in LA. Kirfus planned to crack down on looting in the fire-ravaged area.
So people are going and looting the homes of people.

Speaker 19 And it's, you know,

Speaker 19 it's difficult

Speaker 19 to control

Speaker 19 chaos.

Speaker 19 Three Humvees in military supplies stolen from Army Reserve warehouse.

Speaker 19 The police in Tustin, California said the Humvees, as well as binoculars, bayonets, and a machine gun vehicle mounts had been stolen from an Army Reserve Center. Well, that's good.
Who's doing that?

Speaker 19 Who's doing that?

Speaker 19 We've got drones overhead. No one knows why.
We've got people stealing Humvees with machine gun mounts.

Speaker 19 Is there something going on? Is there a problem?

Speaker 19 Is there something happening? Does it not feel like something's odd? You know, I put up these things. People get mad at me.
Oh, you're paranoid. you're nuts.
Am I? What's going on here?

Speaker 19 Why are there drones over military installations? Is it us? Is it someone else? Is it China? Who is it? Can we know?

Speaker 19 But the police recovered two of the Humvees on Saturday after receiving tips from the public. Some idiots driving around a Humvee.

Speaker 19 Some moron's going, look what I have. And the public's like, hey, I'm seeing this guy with a Humvee.

Speaker 19 Lieutenant Nunley said that the police did not have information about the thieves who was in the military, did not have surveillance cameras on the warehouse.

Speaker 19 He said the police were seeking footage from other cameras in the area.

Speaker 19 So, the whole, we're just,

Speaker 19 this is exposing, and COVID did this, but this is even further exposing all of the

Speaker 19 vulnerabilities of our society. It's not, you know, you go to bed at night thinking someone's in charge.
No one's in charge. No one's in charge.
That's the thing. No one's in charge.

Speaker 19 And the only people that seem to have some type of clue seem to be actively working against the public interest all the time in every way that they can.

Speaker 19 The only people that seem to have any power in this society are actively making your lives harder and more dangerous by the minute.

Speaker 19 By the way, the only people that seem to have any authority or control are doing terrible things constantly that you can't do anything about.

Speaker 19 Investigators found multiple storage lockers with the locks removed and a fence cut out to get to the parking lot where the Hunveys were parked.

Speaker 19 It also looked as if there had been an unsuccessful attempt to cut a lot gain access to the uniforms. So people were going to drive around in Hunve's with National Guard uniforms and, I guess, loot.

Speaker 19 That's a movie. That's a good movie.
And if LA was smart, they'd have a movie about guys dressed up as firefighters looting the Pacific Palisades, and it would be funny.

Speaker 19 It would be like a funny movie about guys dressed as firefighters. And I hope that meeting's happening.

Speaker 19 It's a gang of kids. They're dressed up as firefighters, and it's like the three kids stacked up as one firefighter, and they loot the burnt down Pacific Palisades.
And it's funny. No, it's a comedy.

Speaker 19 It's fun. Yes, the fire's dark, but it's funny because they're kids.
They're not adults. They're preteens, and they stack on top of each other to make one fake firefighter who loots.

Speaker 19 No, it's good. The U.S.
Army is now offering a reward of up to $5,000 for that Humvee

Speaker 19 that was stolen in LA.

Speaker 19 I mean,

Speaker 19 there's no one, everyone's asleep at the wheel, by the way, including the citizens.

Speaker 19 The citizens are completely out of it.

Speaker 19 Trying to talk to these people. Well, you know, it's been really challenging, but we're really hopeful.
Why are you, what are you hopeful about?

Speaker 19 Get these people out of office. Well,

Speaker 19 we think it's been very challenging. There's too many people in LA because of their own

Speaker 19 failures in whatever creative endeavor they half attempted who want the world to burn that it they're literally making it burn.

Speaker 19 There's too many embittered narcissists in that city that don't understand that they cannot destroy the world because they didn't get a series regular role on hacks.

Speaker 19 You can't destroy the world because you're not on hacks. I'm sorry.
Homeless people cannot walk around with gas cans because you didn't get a role on hacks. You have to just accept it and move on.

Speaker 19 There's too many people in that city who just think that the world should be destroyed because their own personal needs aren't met all the time.

Speaker 19 And I know them.

Speaker 19 And they come this well of bitterness and bile.

Speaker 19 They hate everything and every, but they do it in such a sweet way that you're confused.

Speaker 19 Why are the police breaking up the homeless fentanyl dealers in the park?

Speaker 43 Why would they do that?

Speaker 19 Why would they remove the fentanyl from the park?

Speaker 19 It's so bad.

Speaker 19 We should have more homeless people harm reduction.

Speaker 19 Why are the police taking the needles away from them? And they do it in this weird way where you go, oh, wait, are you a good person or the worst person I've ever met? You're confused.

Speaker 19 Because the way they say everything, they're like, they're like, why, why would the police stop these homeless people from stabbing each other?

Speaker 19 They're just homeless and they're just stabbing each other. Why would the cops stop at? And you go, yeah, why are they? And then you're like, oh, wait, this is a trick.
You're a horrible person.

Speaker 19 You're terrible. You're actually, you're actually the worst person I've ever met.

Speaker 19 We need to do more. And then it's just, it's a fake out.
It's like when you talk to these people, you're quick to realize how crazy they are, but they lure you in because many of them are attractive.

Speaker 19 Some of them are sweet. Some of them are nice.

Speaker 19 And they're like, they say the craziest shit.

Speaker 19 They say the craziest shit.

Speaker 19 And they're like,

Speaker 19 you know, they're like, it's so sad.

Speaker 19 What's going on right now? I hope this doesn't make people like

Speaker 19 turn their back on like

Speaker 19 Gavin Newsom and the people that are like really trying to like save us. And you're like, what cult are you in? Why are you in it? Who put you in it? What do you get out of it?

Speaker 20 This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 24 This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturists with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 27 Hey, Bowen, it's gift season.

Speaker 29 Oh, stressing me out.

Speaker 30 Why are all the people I love so hard to shop for?

Speaker 31 Like me? Exactly.

Speaker 23 Honey, I'm easy.

Speaker 32 But you're right.

Speaker 33 Holiday gifting is stressful.

Speaker 35 And all the gift guides out there are boring and uninspired.

Speaker 36 Wait, what about the guide we made? A partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts mean incredible value?

Speaker 19 It's giving gifts!

Speaker 42 A series of guides filled with premium gifts at great value for everyone on your list.

Speaker 45 Yeah, because if I see one more for the dad who likes golf list, I'm out.

Speaker 48 Right?

Speaker 49 How about something for the people who actually surprise you?

Speaker 54 With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, ps, she wants a pair of stilettos.

Speaker 58 Or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have.

Speaker 59 Dying to see what those are.

Speaker 32 And you won't believe their prices.

Speaker 61 Just wait till you see what else is in there.

Speaker 62 It's basically a one-stop shop for everyone you know.

Speaker 65 I started bookmarking half the list for myself, honestly.

Speaker 68 This is the guy for the 2025 holiday gifting season.

Speaker 71 Check out the guide on marshalls.com.

Speaker 72 It's giving gifts.

Speaker 55 Gift the good stuff at Marshalls.

Speaker 1 Tired of spills and stains on your sofa?

Speaker 7 Wash away your worries with Anibay.

Speaker 10 Anibay is the only machine-washable sofa inside and out where designer quality meets budget-friendly prices.

Speaker 8 That's right, sofas start at just $699.

Speaker 77 Enjoy a no-risk experience with pet-friendly, stain-resistant, and changeable slip covers made with performance fabric.

Speaker 80 Experience cloud-like comfort with high-resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing.

Speaker 16 The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity, and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime.

Speaker 17 Shop washable sofas.com for early Black Friday savings up to 60% off site-wide, backed by a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.

Speaker 14 If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund.

Speaker 74 No return shipping or restocking fees, every penny back.

Speaker 15 Upgrade now at washable sofas.com.

Speaker 18 Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 19 That's the thing about LA. They don't even get, these people don't get anything out of it anymore.
They used to get jobs. They didn't even have jobs.
There's no jobs for these people.

Speaker 19 They used to parrot bullshit talking points because there was work. There's no work.

Speaker 19 There's nothing to do for all of these people.

Speaker 19 There used to be a system

Speaker 19 in which

Speaker 19 you went to LA

Speaker 19 and they made you famous. And

Speaker 19 the trade-off was that you couldn't publicly challenge any of the things that

Speaker 19 they had decided were the things, whatever it was. You had to just do the bullshit, and for that, you'd get a career.
Now

Speaker 19 there's nothing.

Speaker 19 The chips are all cashed. There's nothing left to give these people.

Speaker 19 And they're still just babbling and crazy and

Speaker 19 talking about nonsense.

Speaker 19 What's wrong with this woman? What's her deal?

Speaker 19 Let's play her. This is probably going to be sad.
I'm kidding about. Listen,

Speaker 19 this is sad.

Speaker 19 This is very sad. Let's see this woman.
This is going to be sad now.

Speaker 19 Don't get mad at me if you live in the Palisades. I'm just saying

Speaker 19 you're not as sympathetic as other people. I'm sorry.

Speaker 82 The reality of life after the fires is becoming clear.

Speaker 83 Yeah, we're hearing from more people who fled from their homes and now have nothing to return to. We're joined by Alyssa Bartlett.

Speaker 19 Now, can you kill her mic? Because I just just want to say what she's saying.

Speaker 19 Okay?

Speaker 19 Let's, because I know what she's saying.

Speaker 19 Thank you so much. This has been very hard for my entire family.

Speaker 19 We are going to Aspen to deal with this and to regroup.

Speaker 19 Me and my husband have been living apart and

Speaker 19 That's something.

Speaker 19 And one of our children lives in New York and the other one is in Spain. But what's been very tough during this time is the pharmacy closed down where I get all of the happies.

Speaker 19 And

Speaker 19 without a happy, life ain't fun.

Speaker 19 So we got my doctor to write me a script so I could get some happies down in the OC to perk me up.

Speaker 19 Because it's going to be very difficult. I actually hate the winter because it reminds me of Boston where I grew up.
My father father was a horrible drunk, and I actually killed him.

Speaker 19 I was let out. I was let off.
I served some time in a juvenile facility. I changed my name, and I faked my own death.
And I came to live here in the Pacific Palisades.

Speaker 19 And,

Speaker 19 you know, you take the good with the bad.

Speaker 19 Our house burnt down. I could see my father's face as I stabbed him in the neck.
And I texted my husband and I said, you better get these pills pills from me, you fag, and I'll kill you too.

Speaker 19 Because he knows I killed my father. Well, it's very sad, you know, and

Speaker 19 people mourn in different ways. I'm kidding.
Let's now play what she actually said. This is probably the head of CAA's wife.
I get a phone call, you've been dropped. Who cares, by the way?

Speaker 19 Let's play what she actually said.

Speaker 83 You know, we're hearing from more people who fled from their homes and now have nothing to return to. We're joined by Alyssa Bartle, who lived in Pacific Palisades.

Speaker 83 She's joining us this morning to share her experience. Alyssa, first we want to apologize for all that you've been through.
Tell us how you're doing this morning.

Speaker 84 We are okay.

Speaker 84 Okay, we're okay.

Speaker 84 We're all safe and are with our pets, so we're grateful.

Speaker 82 And Alyssa, when you say we, who are you talking about in your family? My maids.

Speaker 84 We have two daughters and my husband.

Speaker 19 Nice to meet you.

Speaker 82 And go ahead, I'm sorry, Alyssa.

Speaker 84 Oh, and our two cats and a dog.

Speaker 82 Well, we are certainly glad that you all are safe right now. And tell us, when did you guys decide to evacuate? Can you walk us through your experience?

Speaker 84 Sure, absolutely.

Speaker 84 At 10.30 in the morning, I was at a store on Wilshire after I had gone to work.

Speaker 84 I looked up, I looked north, and I saw a giant cloud.

Speaker 19 Stay sympathetic.

Speaker 84 I called my girls, who were both at home, said pack up the dog and the cat and flee to my sister's. So they drove to Brentwood

Speaker 19 and

Speaker 19 called my husband

Speaker 84 joined us and that's basically how it happened. And that was it.
All right.

Speaker 83 Tell us when you were first able to see your neighborhood, how things fared out.

Speaker 84 Sure.

Speaker 84 We were actually watching TV and we saw our house go up in flames on the news.

Speaker 19 Jeez.

Speaker 82 I'm sure that was such a surreal experience. Alyssa, tell us where you guys are right now.
Where are you staying?

Speaker 84 We are actually in Manhattan Beach right now.

Speaker 84 because everybody kept getting evacuated further and further south.

Speaker 84 So here we are.

Speaker 19 Tell them we're in Torrance.

Speaker 82 Tell us, have you spoken to them?

Speaker 19 Tell them, don't say Manhattan Beach, please.

Speaker 19 All right. God bless.
Very sad for her and obviously for the families that have been affected.

Speaker 19 And we, you know, like I said, we, we, we, you know, there's not much I can do here because my own house burned down.

Speaker 19 So I can't.

Speaker 19 Do you know that thing in the airline? When you're on the plane, they go, put the mask on yourself first before the others. Well, I'm putting the mask on me.

Speaker 19 I get the mask because my home burned down.

Speaker 19 And

Speaker 19 it's been tough, and I've been dealing with that. So I'm not, I'm donating money.
I'm donating to people. I offered to get put people at hotel rooms.
I got a bunch of troll comments that were funny.

Speaker 19 Nobody really wants any help. Nobody wants any help.
Nobody wants any help. I've offered.
What are you going to do here? Gonna force people to get help.

Speaker 19 I'm gonna show up.

Speaker 19 I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I believe right now

Speaker 19 that this needs to be the rock bottom for the city of Los Angeles, and they need to turn around and start doing the things that made them great, which is making really good stuff.

Speaker 19 Let's get these fucking politicians out of there. Let's put somebody in there.

Speaker 19 I get it. Do the, do the thing.

Speaker 19 Do the stuff. Be like, genders, they're everywhere.
Do it. But just then also like kill that fish and get the water in a hydrant.

Speaker 19 Elling needs to be run by somebody who goes, We have a, you're the gender you want to be, but then also kill that fish. Kill the fish.

Speaker 19 Hit it with a bat. Bludgeon that fish.
Take the fish out and hit it with a bat in the head. And then get the water.
Steal the water. Steal it from Lake Mead.
Steal.

Speaker 19 This is Los Angeles.

Speaker 19 This is not an honest place.

Speaker 19 Steal, kill that fish.

Speaker 19 if we do not have politicians that can kill a fish what is all this woke shit for if you can't then go and do the cold hard shit you need to do

Speaker 19 you should be telling people crap and then stealing water

Speaker 19 that's the whole point

Speaker 19 Tell them, look, Batman's trans. Steal the water.

Speaker 19 Steal the water. These houses are worth $100 million.

Speaker 19 They're going going to burn down some fucking fish.

Speaker 19 Get Rick Caruso in there now. He made that little Palisades mall.

Speaker 19 And the Grove. The Grove's got a little train that goes around it.

Speaker 19 Stop importing these failed comedy writer communist losers that want everything to burn because no one will read their spec script about pickleball.

Speaker 19 Get some hard operators back.

Speaker 19 Batman's Trance. Did you steal all the water? Fuck off.
Kill people. Start killing them again.

Speaker 19 Steal the water.

Speaker 19 Kill the fish.

Speaker 19 Do the control burns. Who gives a fuck if they're mad?

Speaker 19 Who cares

Speaker 19 if Greta Thunberg doesn't like it? Doesn't matter. Make a movie about that dumb bitch.
There's ways to get on her good side. Bring that Swedish freak in and make a movie about her.
Her shenanigans.

Speaker 19 Keep your mouth shut about the stolen water. You want a movie or not, you freak?

Speaker 19 Put on your wooden shoes and put on your clogs. Get over here.
We'll make a film about you. You keep your mouth shut.

Speaker 19 If LA is unwilling to bring that type of politician back, we're fucked.

Speaker 19 If these people can't get tough with these interest groups, we're fucked.

Speaker 19 If you can't tell people it's unreasonable to have homeless people running around you with gas cans, I don't care what you think. I don't care what you think.
It's Silverlake. It's a shithole.

Speaker 19 It's a dump.

Speaker 19 Nobody moved to LA to live in Brooklyn with failures. It's a dump.

Speaker 19 The Eastside sucks, except for Pasadena and Altadina, which I do like. But we're no, we're not taking edicts from Echo Park.

Speaker 19 No, no, no. It was called Beverly Hills 90210.
You know what it wasn't fucking called? Eagle Rock 90210. Enough.

Speaker 19 Get them out.

Speaker 19 Bring hard

Speaker 19 operators back. Cynical,

Speaker 19 craven

Speaker 19 people that will do what needs to be done or the entire city will die.

Speaker 19 You can't have people running around psychotic, lighting things on fire. You can't have any preparation.
You can't have this fuckboy moron who lives on a vineyard.

Speaker 19 These interest groups own him. They own him.

Speaker 19 You should be lying to them. You should be saying one thing and doing another.
That's the point. That is the point.
Kill the fish.

Speaker 19 Oh, the fish is going to go extinct. Well, now, guess what? The Palisades has gone extinct.
You chose the fish over these white cunts with their fucking fake hats. Where are they going to go?

Speaker 19 Where are these cunts and their hats going to go?

Speaker 19 That's the whole point of our country is to be a cunt and a fake hat.

Speaker 19 What do you think it is? What do you think we're doing here?

Speaker 19 You're not going to change the game now. So you better figure out how to fix this

Speaker 19 or get out.

Speaker 19 No matter what.

Speaker 19 At the end of the day, the city of Los Angeles is not going to be a city that is run

Speaker 19 by

Speaker 19 benevolent,

Speaker 19 great people it's going to be run by people that know that any landmass that size

Speaker 19 that is that unruly naturally

Speaker 19 oddly peculiar like particularly beautiful in certain spots terrible in others population of 18 million people some of the wealthiest people in the world and some people foaming at the mouth like dogs

Speaker 19 you're gonna have to make some deals you're gonna have to negotiate This doesn't get done. This doesn't get done

Speaker 19 with idealism.

Speaker 19 It doesn't. You don't manage a city of 18 million people with pure idealism.
You can't. It doesn't work.
It's impractical.

Speaker 19 You don't manage an area with fires and floods and mudslides and slope failure with idealism. You make the best deal you can.
You hope for the best. We've lost that.

Speaker 19 We've lost it.

Speaker 19 We've let

Speaker 19 people

Speaker 19 run this city with crackpot ideas that sound good to a 19-year-old on Twitter.

Speaker 19 We need to run this city with actual operators who can get things done.

Speaker 19 We shouldn't be celebrating

Speaker 19 the displacement of rich people who will just leave and take the tax base with them.

Speaker 19 And I fault a lot of the the rich for this. It's a lot of those Palisades moms with their hats that went along with a lot of this bullshit for far too long.

Speaker 19 And your husbands did it as well because they didn't want anyone to know that they were cheating on you. So they went along with garbage politics so they could live their selfish lives.

Speaker 19 And it's fucked everybody.

Speaker 19 Well, it's time to get real. My house burnt down because of your policies.
My life has changed. I'm homeless now.

Speaker 19 And I'm living on the street because of you.

Speaker 19 I'm another unhoused. I'm another member of the Los Angeles unhoused community.
And I hope you celebrate me. And I hope you don't say anything when I get fun with my gas can

Speaker 19 because that's what we've got left now because of your stupid politics, your dumb, retarded, self-serving, narcissistic crap that somehow wasn't self-serving enough.

Speaker 19 You've managed to be entirely selfish and yet not selfish enough. You've stopped stopped just short of full selfish and you've killed us all.

Speaker 19 You have to go all the way. Half measures avail us nothing.
It's a great line from AA.

Speaker 19 Half measures avail us nothing. Your feel-good Twitter garbage politics and your ironic hat have done nothing.
They have wrought destruction on your community.

Speaker 19 It is time to get some real people in there and kill that fucking fish. Kill that fish

Speaker 19 or die.

Speaker 19 Good luck.

Speaker 20 This is Matt Rogers from Los Cultureistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 24 This is Bowen Yang from Los Culture Ristos with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 27 Hey, Bowen, it's gift season.

Speaker 29 Stressing me out.

Speaker 36 Why are the people I love so hard to shop for?

Speaker 51 Probably because they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made.

Speaker 37 In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts meet incredible value, it's giving gifts.

Speaker 64 With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have.

Speaker 62 Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at marshalls.

Speaker 85 This is Jonas Knox from Two Pros and a Cup of Joe, and on Fox One, now you can stream your favorite live sports so you can be there live for the biggest moments.

Speaker 85 That means NFL Sundays, college football games, NASCAR, MLB postseason, and more. With Fox One, you'll get it all live.

Speaker 85 Edge of your seat plays, jaw-dropping, high-octane moments, and that feeling like you're right there in the action. Fox One, we live for live, streaming now.

Speaker 19 You want to get the kids something different this year for the holidays, right? Well, no matter what you get them, you should power the toys with something that's definitely different.

Speaker 19 Duracell batteries with power boost ingredients.

Speaker 19 They're unlike any other battery, so to make sure Christmas morning goes great, get only Duracell batteries with power boost ingredients.

Speaker 19 Whoa, does that happen every time I say Duracell with Power Boost Ingredient?

Speaker 19 Nice! Try it with me, Duracel with Power Boost Ingredients.

Speaker 19 Yes.