397 - Presidential Debate Reaction

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show. Fresh off the heels of the first presidential debate of the season, perhaps the last, not ideal, not ideal performance for Biden.
Not the worst, By the way, I'm in the minority here. When I genuinely watched it, and I thought it could have been worse.
I know that it wasn't great. I know that it was bad.
I know that it was, but I've, this isn't new.

What's very interesting is that everybody's acting like this is something that we've all figured out today. Oh my God, what happened to him? This guy has not looked alive in two years.
He's barely made sense. He had a good state of the union.
but for the most part

he looks like he's not in his own body. Barely made sense.
He had a good state of the union. But for the most part,

he looks like he's not in his own body.

His skin is wrapped so tightly around his skull

that it's disturbing.

He's incredibly advanced in age.

His voice is very soft.

He seems to be in hospice. You would put a man like this.
If you went to visit your grandfather in hospice and he spoke like this and he said, I love you and I love your family. That would make a lot of sense.
It would make a lot of sense if someone who's about to leave the earth, which I believe he is. I believe he is.
I believe he's almost there unless someone intervenes and gets this man to a porch. He could maybe eke out a few more years, or maybe that's when he really dies.
Maybe, you know. But it's never been great.

He's a very old, very confused man.

He's had a rough life.

He's had a rough life.

One of his kids died of brain cancer

because he spent too much time near a burn pit,

which I don't even know what that is.

But that's something in Iraq or I don't know what happened. It's sad.
This is all sad. His first wife died because someone hit her with a car, right? She was in a car.
It was a car accident. And then one of his sons died because he got brain cancer because he was in a burn pit, something I don't know what it is.
His other son, who's a crack addict, tried to fuck or did fuck that other son's wife. Burn pit brain cancer son's wife got fucked by the one who smokes crack.
He's had a rough go of it. He was just, you know, this is a guy who's had his rise to pride.
He's a senator from Delaware. And it sounds like I'm doing an obituary here, but I am.
He was a senator from Delaware, the most corrupt state. When I was fucked, and I had no money in the beginning of comedy, I got a credit card from Gold Key Credit, okay? And I went out and I tried to use it.
And it had a $250 limit. And they failed to mention that the activation fee was like 200 something dollars.
So I tried to use it the first time and it got denied. And I was like, what? Wait a minute, I just got this card.
And then I looked and it said, yeah, but the activation fee of that card is $200. You have nothing left on the fucking card.
The companies that do that to people, people that are eating in a mall, eating something tasty, high in sugar, drinking an electric blue margarita who are about to have their car declined. All of those companies are headquartered in Delaware.
They're all criminal enterprises. They all evade taxes and they all cook up horrible terms for everyone who has one of these desperation credit cards.
There's a whole subprime world of credit for people that are truly fucked. You know, it's the payday loans and all of that stuff.
All of that headquartered in Delaware, his state. There's nothing else going on in Delaware, by the way.
That's it.

A few nice places, but that's it.

And he's just been the senator from Delaware.

And when he had to, he got a little racist.

When he had to, he got out there.

He's like, we got super predators.

We're throwing them in.

Don't worry about it.

He said Obama was the first clean African-American that he'd ever met or something, or the first articulate black had to run for office. Again, these are his words.
But he was kind of a regular rank-and-file guy who was a senator, was a talented politician. He had a very sad kind of terrible life.
Other than the fact that he didn't seem to want this job and he was on the edge of not getting it before they completely sandbagged Bernie Sanders by keeping all these people in the race and then on the last primary, totally stole kind of Bernie's thunder. And at the end, African-American voters, older voters propelled Biden to grab the nomination.
And then he became the president. But he's been declining for a long time.
He's not, you know, he has moments of sharpness. It's amazing about the brain.
Even in his stage of decline. I'm not, I'm not, my son's not a loser.
You're a loser. There's moments of lucidity and sharpness where he can go on the attack.
Something in him is still alive. There's some light that hasn't been extinguished.
And he goes on the attack and then he goes back in. Then he recedes back into himself and he's confused again.
It's very interesting to watch. And you could see it is abuse.
It's been said before. It's not something that I'm not breaking any news.
It is for sure abuse to watch him, to watch someone get confused and a little almost scared. His face is confused.
He doesn't know where he is, what's going on. And then he remembers, oh, I'm'm the president i'm going to debate medicare the border he has a moment it's lucid and then he goes on the attack and some of it for a guy in his condition for a guy that's truly at the end of all things not just the presidency he's not just at the end of his political.
He's at the end of all things. Every morning is a surprise to him.
Every single morning is a surprise. For a man at that point, that stage of his life, the fact that he can stand at a debate podium for any length of time is amazing.

And all of the people that are freaking out about this,

who've known about this, who've known every, by the way,

the Washington Post, the New York Times,

these are not right-wing things.

They've all written articles going,

yeah, he's not really present in meetings.

He's there, but he's not there.

He's kind of the way he was, you know, the other night. Like he'll pop up, he'll go, Waaay waaay waaay waaay waaay waaay kind of go, where is he? Where'd he go? Where is he? They've been leaking shit like this for months about, I forget the right, we're talking about just mainstream Democrat institutions,

mainstream media have been leaking for a while

that he is not at his prime.

And then he gets out on stage last night.

He certainly fumbles.

There's certainly problems.

And now everybody's ready to throw him in the street. And now the conspiracy is, was this engineered? Was it designed? Did the White House go, we're going to put him out.
I was just on the phone with Louis C.K. and he made a good point.
He goes, there was a thing in the early 90s, late 80s, where a gay guy would just, who had AIDS, was about to die, would put makeup on for his last party. You know what I mean? And is that this? Did they trot him out to feed him to the dogs, per se? Did they bring him out to say, let's see what happens.
We're going to make the debate early. We'll make the rules pretty tough for him.
He'll come out. He'll fall on his face or not, but he did.
And then if he does, now we will all run and go, oh my God, this man cannot be president. He seems confused.

We, I don't know.

Now, they, everyone knew,

there was nothing different about this guy yesterday or the day before

or the day before

than the guy that walked on the debate stage.

He had one good speech

at the State of the Union

where he was still showing signs

of being very old and not getting things. But nothing like this.
The format, he couldn't handle it. He shouldn't be there.
Presidents don't do much. I can prove it.
Ours has been dead. He's kind of dead.
And the country still, you know, I don't agree with their foreign policy. I don't agree with a lot of things they're doing.
But the day-to-day of the country is not really run by the president. It's run by a lot of different people.
That's why you have this guy who's partially deceased and everyone's freaking out going, he can't be the president. He actually can.
Actually, anyone can. We've proven that anyone can be the president.
If he can be the president, you can be the president. And which is, I mean, it's a horrible thing to say to the people of this country.
I couldn't think of a worse thing to say is that anyone can grow up to be president. It's just like follow your dreams or any of that meaningless horseshit that has completely bankrupted and destroyed the generation that I came from.
Meaningless advice backed by nothing, which is what all of us got. Meaningless advice backed by nothing.
You can be the president, but you kind of can. This is the problem.
Once you've realized that you can be the president, you may want to be the president. And then that's kind of the end, isn't it? That would be the end.
When my friend Ryan gets the idea in his head that he should be the president and he walks out of checking people's ID at Gold's Gym and begins his political career, we have a real problem. You had to have a patina of something functioning.
And when you destroy that, people know they're being lied to. People expect it.
People were like, Trump lied. They don't care.
They get it. He was dishonest the other night.
He broke the CNN fact check. No one, what is that? What even is the CNN fact checker? I'm sure Trump lied.
I guarantee he lied. But I don't even know what the CNN fact checker is.
I don't know if it's a machine. Is it a group of people in a room? What the fuck is a CNN fact checker? I don't know.
Is it AI? What is it? Is it a, I don't know what it is, but everyone kept saying that, that he broke the CNN fact checker. Trump made more than 30 false claims during CNN's presidential debate far more than Biden.
The problem is that Biden was too confused to lie. That's why he's not going to win.
Of course, Biden didn't make any false claims. He was barely present.
Biden could have hit Trump with abortion. The big vulnerability for the Republicans is abortion.
Americans by their nature are not fundamentalist religious psychopaths. They don't want their four-year-old kid transitioning, but they also don't want an eight-week abortion ban.
And if the Democrats, Biden had hit Trump with that and said, and he tried, but he was so confused and so out of it, it didn't really land. The strongest issue was abortion.
He started talking about the Lincoln Riley chick was killed by an illegal immigrant, which again is a vulnerability for the Democrats. But the vulnerability for the Republicans is abortion.
Someone on that stage, and the only one was there was Biden, but whoever it was, let's say it was Gavin Newsom. Let's say it was Gretchen Whitmer, the woman who faked her own kidnapping.
I'm just saying, I don't know who it's going to be, which is kind of a fun archetype of person, to be honest, a woman who faked her own kidnapping because she's so, wants so badly to be, you know, paid attention to.

But whoever was on that stage should have said a vote for this man is a vote for an

eight-week abortion ban, which may or may not be true.

And the Republicans may or may not have success passing that.

However, a constitutional amendment to ban abortion, you got to go with what is working.

White women in the suburbs are swing voters. They do not want an abortion ban.
They do not want endless immigration. They do not want defunding of police.
They want safe communities. They want schools.
They don't love diversity, equity, and inclusion. They don't love critical race theory.
They don't want gender theory in schools for the most part. However, they also do not want an eight-week abortion ban.
They probably don't want the Ten Commandments in schools. I don't think they are white people who drink wine.
Have you ever met white people who drink wine? I know a lot of white people who drink wine. They are not by their nature.
They believe not in nothing. You know why? Wine is nice.
The weather in Southern California is nice. Pool and patio types like a few things.
They're pools and they're patios. They don't want people running through their yard with, you know, abolish the police signs and eat the rich.
And they also don't want people running through their yard with Charlottesville torches talking about Jews will not replace us. They want another glass of wine.
That's all they want. Those are the only swing voters, people who believe in so little that they haven't made up their mind yet.
Women who may go to the grocery store today, but they may not. Have you ever heard a woman say that to Roger? Well, I might go today, but I don't know.
What could change? What could change? Are you going to get the cold cuts or not? Well, I don't know. We have to see how the way the day shapes up.
We have to see the way the day shapes up. I'm a pool and patio type, wine drunk, suburban housewife.
I don't believe in much. I may go get the cold cuts today.
I may not. You might starve tonight and you may have food.
We don't know. My life is meaningless.
I have nothing except this decision of whether I'm going to decide to brave the traffic to get the potato salad today, but I might get it tomorrow. The barbecue's not till Saturday.
Those are the types of people they're trying to reach the country. It's already been decided.
He might get some more of the black and Latino vote. He may get some more of the white vote.
There are independent voters that exist in those demographics, but none that are statistically significant. Nobody swings to the left and to the right more than the wine-drunk suburban soccer mom who may go to the grocery store today, but I may not have got things to do.
You know, I got on the phone with my sister and the day just got away from me. The day got away from me.
These are the people you're going for. These are the people you're, they're not fundamentalists.
They don't want things to change all that much. That's why during the last Trump presidency, things were erratic.
They were chaotic. Their families were fighting.

They... That's why during the last Trump presidency, things were erratic.
They were chaotic. Their families were fighting.
They believed in some of the MAGA things. But again, they were like, they didn't want to be bad people.
Their families came and there were fights at the den. People weren't coming to Christmas.
And well, then why did they buy all that China then? If people aren't going to come to christmas over politics well then why the hell did they learn how to cook and how did they entertain so the thing that these women care about the most which is entertaining in their fucking houses is being jeopardized by how chaotic the entire political situation is nobody will come to this christ Well, why the fuck do we live in Newport Beach?

If we can't show up,

your brother and sister from Ohio,

why even have this house in Newport Beach?

Why did I learn how to make rosemary oil?

I took fresh rosemary and I put it with oil.

I learned how to make rosemary oil to make your wife feel like shit.

Your brother's wife feel like shit because she's a public school teacher and she's beat cancer twice and who cares i want to show her that i have rosemary oil and we have a house in newport beach but they don't want to come this year they don't want to come this year because i posted that thing on facebook about the guatemalans and now they think i'm right it was ripping people apart so these white women the to the country, the only swing voter, the people that are present, you know, at these pool and patio types, the people that go to jewelry parties, the people that, when they hear, ooh, it's a gated community, people like that, those are the swing voters. Those are the swing voters.
Those are the only people that notice when Biden is so bad, when he's babbling, when he's foaming at the mouth, when he's basically about to fall down. Those are the people that come alive.
Those are the people you have to say, listen, you're not going to be able to get an abortion. And I'm pro-choice.
I think people should get abortions. I think they should be allowed to get, not late term, not in the, you know, not at the 11th hour, but I do think that women should be able to get abortions.
And most people in America do. Most people in America do.
I don't think it should be a, I don't think it's a celebrated moral victory. I don't think it's an accomplishment in the same way that I don't view many things as accomplishments that our culture views as an accomplishment.
I don't think coming out of the closet really is an accomplishment. I think owning a Bentley is an accomplishment.
I don't think sucking a cock is an accomplishment. It's a nice thing to do, but it's not necessarily an accomplishment.
Surviving is an accomplishment. And whatever you have to do to survive is an accomplishment.
If you want me to pat you on the back, you want me to cheer you on or applaud for you, you got to do something that really impresses me. And it's not sucking a cock and it's not getting an abortion.
I think you should be able to do both of those things. I don't think they should be the two central points of your personality, but I think they shouldn't be illegal.
And most Americans do agree with me in that sense. And so does Trump.
Donald Trump is not a fundamentalist Christian he's reinventing himself as one because he needs to

in the same way that Putin will start talking about

the Russian Orthodox Church. Putin was a KGB agent.
Religion was literally banned in the Soviet Union. He's not any, you know, I think religion's got a lot of great things about it.
But there are people that believe that under no circumstances whether it is a rape

whether it is incest

and at one point

in my favorite part of the debate

Joe Biden said

do you have the abortion section

where he goes

this is my favorite part of the debate

Biden goes

there are a lot of people right now

being raped by their brothers and sisters

and it's just ridiculous

and it's the funniest sentence I've ever heard anyone say. Like the idea that, by the way, that's happening all the time, and it's ridiculous.
Let's listen to this, if we haven't. Look, there's so many young women who have been, including a young woman who just was murdered, and he went to the funeral.
Where are you going? she was murdered by a by by an immigrant coming in they talk about that but here's the deal there's a lot of young women being raped by their by their in-laws by their by their spouses brothers and sisters by just it's just ridiculous there's a lot of young women being raped by their spouses by their in-laws by their brothers and sisters. And it's just ridiculous.
And he goes, there's a lot of young women being raped by their spouses, by their in-laws, by their brothers and sisters. And it's just ridiculous.
It's just the funniest comment I've ever heard. It was a very offhanded, offside comment.
There's a lot of people being raped by their brothers and sisters. And it's just ridiculous.
It's like, well, no, if we have an epidemic of brother-sister rape, it's a lot more than ridiculous. And I would like to know if that is, and by the way, I'm not saying it's not happening, but I think we ought to use another word.
It's like traffic's ridiculous. God, the traffic, that was ridiculous.
But if a brother is impregnating his sister or an in-law, and I know it happens, but it's just funny the way this is what I mean

he's lost a thread that was the opportunity to hit Trump on the abortion ban stuff that was the opportunity he could have done it he didn't do it he did not do it so you so Trump by the way just remained presidential didn't really go on the attack didn't have to didn't shred him didn't try to, you know,

as Frank Underwood, as Kevin Spacey said, now it's time to guide him to the rocks. That's kind of all Trump did.
Trump basically was pretty diplomatic.

He did say that one thing.

Biden was the one.

Kind of taking the low blows.

My son's not a loser.

You're a loser.

You have the morals of an alley cat,

which was funny.

Now, this is a line.

Somebody said Trump being like,

Melania was pregnant.

Let's watch this.

For doing a whole range of things,

of having sex with a porn star on the night while your wife was pregnant let's watch this for doing a whole range of things of having sex with a porn star

on the night while your wife was pregnant i mean what what are you talking about so he did go after trump in that sense but trump remained a little presidential by just saying hey they're going after me for political reasons. They can't win.
They're using the courts. I was just in, my friend was at Tiffany's getting something for his wife.
And I was just in Tiffany's in LA. And I never go.
I have horrible fashion sense. And most people know that.
It's very kind of you. Many people have pointed that out.
But fashion is not a big deal for me. I do not go to Rodeo drive.
Really. I just get sunglasses there when I'm there.
If I ever go there, I get sunglasses. And I was in Tiffany's for the first time and I was there and I was trying to buy a handbag for my house manager who manages my property.
She's a very difficult woman, but that's what makes her great at her job. She is, you know, formidable and intense.
And it is that intensity that allows her to thrive in her current position. So I was going to get her a small handbag there.
I was just in there with my friend who was getting something for his wife. I was not there and I saw a small handbag and I said, can I ship this to my house manager, to the woman that is managing the renovation I have going on, a pool that we hope will be ready by 4th of July where I have invited my family.
I do think though though, I got an invite to the Kennedy compound.

I don't know if that's true or not, but if I did,

I will walk out of my house and leave my family

to enjoy the full range of features of the property.

I will absolutely leave them to go to the Kennedys, of course.

I don't know if that's happening or not.

But the guy comes with this nasty surfer guy with long hair and, like, you know, lanyards on his wrist. What is that? If someone you know isn't dead, get it off the wrist.
What is it? And even if they are enough, he's got the lanyard and he's got rings. And then he comes up to me and he goes, if you want us to shit like like that you're talking to me like that spend 2500 on this dumb bag for this woman who we love but he goes if you want us to ship this you gotta fill this out and he hands me a computer i'd say no no no i don't work here i wrote her address on a card you fill it out and then they took so long i had to they literally, I said, I'm in a time crunch.
I warned them multiple times I had to leave. It'll never be popular to say this right now.
And I know people aren't going to like it. And I don't care.
And I don't give a fuck folks. And I don't care how it looks.
And I don't, I have never seen, I have never seen in all my years, I've been broke. I've had a little more.
I've had a little less. It's not about money.
It's not about any of it. I have never seen the complete disregard for people's jobs in retail.
They are nasty. They're vicious.
They're crazy. You walk into a store and it doesn't matter who you are.
They don't care. Meaning whether you're buying a lot of shit or a little bit, you're going to be treated horribly.
Why is this allowed? This is an aside from the debate analysis, but it might tie in, but it might tie in. Why are people now acting like you've done the wrong thing when you walk into their store? Because every store you walk in now, by the way, everyone, when you walk in the store, If it's a nice store, the guards stand at the door like you're about to go in there with a machete.
I understand there's been crime, but there's got to be a little bit of a happy medium between laissez-faire, come in and rape us, and let's treat every single person who walks in here like they're a violent street thug criminal. Okay.
And they're looking at me and they have this look in their eye and the minute and you, and then some of them are nice. One of the ladies who's a nice woman, a brain dead woman.
She goes, where'd you guys come in from? I said, Oh, we were in, we're out in Malibu. I love, I like Malibu.
One day I was on the beach and I saw a whale and my friend said, whales don't come this close to the shore. And I said, they do.
And it was the whale. And I saw a whale.
It's so relaxing to sit on the beach and look at a whale. So you run the, you have complete brain dead, complete brain dead, like traumatized.
Like the people you bump into now in any retail environment have been like completely like MK Ultra, like repeatedly raped in a room and tied to a bed to where they have disassociated and they're like, hi, are you, are you in town for work or for pleasure? Are you? And completely not in their own body. And then you have people that are just angry and frustrated that you've walked in and they're hostile.
If you want us to ship this, you have to fill this out. No, I don't.
No, I don't. You fill it out.
Let me pay for it and let me leave. And then you can take all the time you want.
Just let me pay for it. Let me leave.
Why? Why? And I understand maybe it's that they're not being paid. Maybe it's that people in retail are not being paid right now.
And my heart goes out to them if that's the case, it probably is the case. I understand the way corporations abuse their employees.
I'm not for that. Maybe it's because none of these people are in unions.
Maybe these people are miserable. What does Tiffany's pay these people? Probably $20 an hour.
Shut up. Then be good.
Then be good, then. That's not a lot.
I understand you work at Tiffany's. You deal with all these rich fucks that have all this money and it makes you hate them.
And it makes you angry and it fills you with rage. But I'm not one of those people.
I'm just trying to buy a small bag for my house manager who herself likes logos. She wants...
When I bought her her first thing, I get gifts for people. I went to Dior and I said, the woman showed me a pocketbook.
I said, this is very classy. She said, this is very understated.
I said, give me the most disgusting thing you have with the logo right out on the bag. Is that what I got? Do you remember what I got for her? This is it, yeah.
Do you see how disgusting that is? The logo's on the bag. I said, she's from Queens.
The logo must be on the bag. It does her no good to have something that people don't know what it is.
They need to know how disgusting it is. So this was a nice little Tiffany bag.
And it says, please return to Tiffany's New York. It was heinous, heinous, disgusting, grotesque.
But it fit perfectly because the person I was giving it to was going to appreciate the logo loud in your face perfect it was working perfectly until the employees just you know again I know the Scott I don't know that Scott Sykes He's a funny guy. And I know he's in that cocaine bear movie.
He did all these really funny things about how everyone that goes into a retail environment is some type of monster. And, you know, like I get it.
And I get that that's fashionable. And he's maybe not altogether wrong.
But at the end of the day, everybody has a job. I've had jobs I hate.
You know, I've had jobs I hated, and I wasn't great at them. I understand that.
When I was a tour guide, I sat on my tour bus, and sometimes I barely gave the tour. A Russian woman once punched me in the stomach.
She walked up, and she said, I paid for the tour. I said, listen to the tour in the headphones.
And she punched me in the stomach. This very poor Russians are, a lot of them are poor.
And she came in February and it was freezing because that's the only time they could afford to visit because the prices were so low in New York of the hotels and the flights. And she was there and she was freezing and she was angry and she kind of and she punched me

in the stomach i get it i get what it means to hate your job and to be bad at it i'm not claiming any moral superiority here but i'll say this i understood when i was bad at my job that i was being bad at my job. And I didn't ask for more.
And I didn't, you know, I didn't think that I deserved more. I was being bad.
I was being someone who was undeserving of anything. I was just occupying space because I didn't want to do that job.
I wanted to do something else. And I'm sure the people in retail want to do other things, but it's become an environment where why now everyone just shops online.
Everyone shops online because it has become so miserable. It has become so ugly to just walk into a store and deal with a person.
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The future of large shopping centers will encompass much more than shopping.

Well, this is, it has to be.

This is about the rebirth of the American mall.

This is the experience era.

Images of the fallen mall, the empty shop floor littered with mannequins, the dusty escalators leading to an abandoned food court have loomed large in the American cultural imagination over the past decade. And it's true, the mall of your childhood, the big department stores, the Orange Julius, the kiosks, they may no longer exist.
Malls now feature escape rooms, axe throwing, the occasional brand-sponsored immersive experience. mall has changed, but some version of it is staying with us.
The retail experience now has cratered. It has become so terrible that in order to get people back into malls, they're going to have to allow them to throw axes or do escape rooms.
In order to get people back into a mall, they're going to have to put some type of amusement park into the mall. They're going to have to do some type of immersive experience.
Skechers is going to have some immersive experience at the mall in order to get people back. Because shopping itself sucks.
It used to be fun. People used to meet each other shopping, hook up.
They'd make friends. Now it's a nightmare.
Shopping is a nightmare now. And people hate you for doing it.

When you go to a place, you go, hey, can I get some help?

People run away from you.

Look at this mall in 1996.

Look how fun it looked.

Look at these fat women being taken care of.

Look how nice this looked.

People loved it.

It was good.

They'd spend all day.

They'd get a frozen yogurt. Watch the movie Scenes from a Mall with Woody Allen and Bette Midler.
You get the idea of how fun a mall could be, how fun shopping was. During Christmas, look at this, during the holidays, look at all these people.
Look how happy everybody is in the mall. Sure, they don't look it.
They feel it. They feel it.
They're in something. They're buying things.
The only thing we have in this country, the only culture we have is consumption. Why are you making it hard? Why are you making the one thing that we do hard? There's nothing else.
There's literally nothing else. Our history starts a few hundred years ago and most of it is fucking slavery.
It's not like we have the renaissance here. Make the shopping nice.
Make the exchange of goods and services nice, please. It's all we got.
It's all we have is shopping. That's all we do.
Consume, buy, more, get. Here's the deal.
Put it on layaway. Buy now, pay later.
Installments. Five easy payments of whatever.
Do you have a store card? We give you 200 credit right now. Get a store card.
Sign up. We approve everybody.
Have you seen our furniture? We're doing home goods now. We have things for your home.
You need an umbrella, don't you? You don't want skin cancer. Get an umbrella.
We're Christian Dior, but we sell umbrellas now. We do pop-ups.
You want a pop-up? We'll pop up anywhere. You don't know where we happen to be, but there's pop-ups.
We'll pop right up. Come on in.
Buy a candle. You know what the candle smells like? The store you're in.
It smells like that. So when you're at home, you can smell what it feels like to be in Nordstrom's.
Don't you sit at home and go, I wish I was in Nordstrom's, but it's 2am and I'm up eating. I'm binge eating and I'm sitting in my kitchen wondering if I'm having gas or a heart attack.
Wouldn't it be nicer to smell like you're in a Nordstrom's? Our entire culture is based around the idea that buying things makes you happy and it gives your life meaning. That's our entire culture is based around the idea that buying things makes you happy and it gives your life meaning that's our entire culture don't yell at me i didn't do it but that's all it is so why in god's name would we not that should be the religion you should walk into birddorf goodman or tiffany or louis vuitton and you should get the feeling that people have when they walk into St.
Patrick's Cathedral for midnight mass because the savior has been born and the savior should be a decent looking person who is your best friend for that hour and they should guide you around the store make you feel good while you shop they should not make you fill out forms. It's not the DMV.
It's not immigration. I am a citizen.
I don't want to fill out forms. I want you to guide me through this.
I want you to get me a bag for my house manager. She doesn't have a family, neither do I.
All we're trying to do here is show our appreciation for our friends, the people that we've adopted into our lives. I don't understand why it's not easier.
I don't understand why the one thing that we've shown that we can do and we can do well has cratered. Pay them more.
Give them drugs. I don't know what to do.
Let them drink at work. whatever needs to happen here needs to have we need to turn this thing around i'm sick of looking at a middle-aged divorcee who hates her life and hates me because i look like the fat idiot who cheated on her and and is taking that out on me i don't want it anymore.
And I don't know. Now, I understand that tech eats all.
And the internet has eaten everything. And people now just buy things.
The perception that malls have suffered is rooted in truth. Many malls and stores have closed in recent decades.
As a la Alexandra

Lang, an architecture critic and the author of Meet Me by the Fountain, an inside history of the mall, explained to me in an email, the ebb and flow of retail is much more visible to the general public than any other type of business. So people pay attention earlier in the down cycle of a mall's trajectory.
Plus, as Mercer put it, it's more dramatic to see a mall closing than thriving.

Moles were starting to go out when I was there. But I'm telling you right now, the inability of these companies to pay people or to make them excited about their jobs, I don't know how to do this.
I'm not going to pretend to be an expert. But it's the one thing that we do well as a country.
Madison Avenue, Rodeo Drive. These places should be holy.
Because by the way, it's not only rich people. It's the couple from Ohio.
They just want to feel something. My friend got his wife earrings.
He wants to feel something. This is special for him.
This is not an everyday thing. He's not going to send his assistant to go pick up some earrings for his wife.
He's going to go in. He wants to feel something.
Make him feel like a man. Make him feel like a man.
Say to me, good. Isn't this nice you're buying this bag for your house manager? Isn't that nice? Man, I wish I had a boss like you.
That's what they should have said. She should have turned around and said, man, I wish I had a boss like you.
You're more of a humanitarian. People like you don't exist anymore, sir.
I'll fill out all this myself. Let me get your card.
Let me make you pay for this, and we'll get it to that woman because people like you, sir, you're going out there doing good deeds. Let me not interrupt and impede your next good deed.
You're Scrooge after he's been visited by the ghosts. You're a fucking legend, sir.
You're a fucking, look at this legend alert. They should have started screaming.
What about song? What if they all broke in a song? He's getting his house manager a bag. This fat man is selfless.
This fat man is selfless. He could spend this on veal or some type of baguette.
But he's getting his house manager a bag.

But they didn't do it.

They were mean to me.

They were mean to me.

The people at the Tiffany's on Rodeo Drive

were mean to me because I'm fat,

and they knew my house manager as well as a little fat,

and they were racist against me for that. Well, no.
No, no, no. Back to this debate.
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is legendary fun.

By the way, Wall Street Journal, it's

the summer of the finance, bro. It's never not been

Wall Street Journal. Who is writing

See you next time. legendary fun.
By the way, Wall Street Journal, it's the summer of the finance, bro. It's never not been Wall Street Journal.
Who is writing these articles? It's the summer, winter, spring of the finance, bro, and fall, always has been. Wall Street men are more unexpected.
They're an unexpected hot commodity in dating. Who is, how dumb do you have to be to work for the wall street journal? I'm, I'm asking, I'm genuinely curious how stupid you, how stupid is this person? Hannah, my ow, yow, whoever wrote this, listen to this wall street men are, they're an unexpected hot commodity in dating because you want to be wined and dined.
Rich guys are an unexpected hot commodity? What Bushwick slum bubble nerd fucking weirdo culture is she immersed in that she does, she thinks that rich guys are like a new thing in dating. She's an attractive young lady, but she's wrong about everything.
But here's my, oh my God, look at that. Look at that photo on her Instagram.
Yeah, so this, I know exactly who this woman is. She goes to these parties on the top of, she goes to a rooftop party on Avenue C and her friend's like, I'm dating a guy named Alexi.
He's a director. That's not real life.
Dummy, dumb, dumb, dummy, dumb, dumbs.

your rich kid fucking boyfriend who's pretending to make documentary films when he's really just in South America doing coke living on his father's largesse is not what is desired by most people

they like when he's really just in South America doing coke, living on his father's largesse,

is not what is desired by most people.

They like a finance guy that will give them a kitchen

where the floors are heated.

It's not new.

How dumb do you have to be?

You know what's the new thing in dating?

Rich guys.

Go to the article.

Rich guys are new.

It's really interesting now. I've been observing rich guys are getting pussy now.
Men working in finance are the latest public fascination. How, I'm going to ask again.
How, I mean, is this woman's brain riddled with strokes? Are there editors at the Wall Street Journal? Can you write

anything at the Wall Street Journal? Can you hand something in a crayon and they'll just run it?

Listen to this article. Men working in finance are the latest public fascination.

Kristina Komorowska, a social media manager who recently moved to New York, hit the streets in May with a cardboard sign advertising her search for one. They're hardworking and they're smart, she said in an interview.
It's my type. Wearing pearls in a black suit, her long blonde hair and loose curls, Komarskova brandished the sign listing three very specific criteria.
It all started with a TikTok video by 27-year-old Megan Bonney, amassing 49 million views, featuring a sing-song message, I'm looking for man in finance, trust fund 65 blue eyes. So here's what happens.
People that live in New York City, media types, okay? And I don't mean Jews, because this woman's an Asian, but probably also Jewish, let's be honest. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. Comedy show.
Media types live in these New York City bubbles in which being rich is per se. Being in finance is like gross.
And everybody's pretending to do something creative. And everyone has zero talent, but they're all pretending to.
So the men that are status, the her status in this world that this person most likely lives in are people that are tangentially involved in something creative. They work, they've started a production company.
Mark started a production company is actually in, you know, they're actually like doing a lot of stuff right now. It's something like that.
Maybe he works in tech or some tech. They're coming up with an app.
They started an app and they're all shocked. These people are all shocked when they step out of this bubble, which is a complete simulation where people take the finance money that their parents have made and use it to fund their fake lives.
When they step out of this simulation and they realize that people want a man with money, they get shocked. They're completely stunned.
Wait, people want high status men with money? Whoa, that's new. No, it's not new.
It's literally been forever. Maybe it will make finance guys cool again.
Wall Street men haven't always enjoyed rosy reputations. They get dunked on for their Patagonia vest and occasionally vilified in popular culture.
That's the trade-off. That's the trade-off.
You're a rich guy. You get made fun of for the Patagonia vest.
You're rich. You're boring.
You're basic, whatever. Guess what? That's never gone out.
A guy who's well, it's never gone out of style. It's not new.
It's not this new trend. But bright college graduates still vie for positions driven by the promise of big paychecks and bonuses.
Others just want to court them. I wanted to make fun of single people, including myself, said Megan Bonney, who made this video.
Play this video, by the way. I'm looking for a man in finance.
Trust fund. Six five, blue eyes.
Finance. Trust fund.
Six five, blue eyes. I'm looking for a man.
I'm looking for a man. I'm looking for a man.
I'm looking for a man. I'm looking for a.
Looking for it. Looking for it.
Fine. Trust me.
Matches from apps often don't lead to committed relationships. Gen Z's experiencing swipe fatigue.
Still others embrace being a stay-at-home girlfriend as an online persona, rejecting girl boss aspirations for a softer life funded by a rich boyfriend. A lot of women don't want to work and want a rich guy to buy them a house so they can have a kid.
Is this news? Is this news to anyone? There are some women, I don't know what percentage of them, that really want to take over the corporate world. And there's a lot of them that don't.
But it's very interesting reading these Wall Street Journal articles because this is people that are eventually, they've left college and now they're coming into contact with real life. And real life is always like a wild thing.
Oh, my God. So wait a minute.
You're telling me that people don't want to have four roommates until they're 40 in Brooklyn while they work on this film? Hold on. Some people just want to be rich and live in the suburbs and have kids, have a nice life.
Some people just want to drink wine and decide the presidential election 45 minutes before they go to the polls? What do you mean? Welcome to the world, Hannah. Welcome to the world.
The Wall Street Journal has been running the singular dumbest articles I have ever seen a paper run. I by no means judge a woman who wants someone who is financially stable and accomplished.

Here's what this really comes down to.

This is the big lie that everybody tells.

And they tell them in cities like New York.

And they tell them every day.

And they lie so much it becomes a part of their personality.

And I'll tell you the big lie.

And the lie is five words.

I wanted to make sure it was five.

I don't.

It's five words.

This is a lie that everyone in New York tells all the time.

Here's the lie.

Get ready.

I don't care about money.

That's the lie. They say it all the time.
I don't care about money. I don't care about money.
And they do. The more someone says they don't care about money, the more they secretly care about money.
They envy. They covet.
They sit. Life without money sucks.
Most of my life is without money. There are worse things than not having money.
Of course. A lot of the times I didn't have money.
I was really, really excited and it was thrilling and I was pursuing comedy and great people around me and I was doing something that I loved. However, if I didn't have that, if I wasn't really passionate about doing something, and I was broke, that would have been unthinkable.
That's where many people find themselves. They don't have a passion, and they also don't have money.
You do not have to have a passion. Stop pretending to have one.
You either have one or you don't. Your passion will choose you.
You will not choose your passion. Whoa, what does that mean? Shut up.
It's for another episode. You don't get to choose your passion.
Your passion chooses you. Whoa, mind-blowing.
You do not have agency in that regard. Sorry.
Oh, wait. The seven-foot-tall girl who's gorgeous, who has no body fat, really likes modeling.
She really likes it. And the guy with an eight-pack who was born in Malibu loves to surf.
Wow. A lot of these things are decided for you.
You have genetics. You have things that make you better at one thing than another thing.
You're a good deal maker. Maybe you're meant to fall in and out of love with people all over the world.
Maybe you're funny. Maybe you're meant to make deals and get rich.
Maybe you're meant to be truly compassionate. You have a fetish for the poor, the diseased.
You like seeing them all the time. They make you feel alive, helping an old man into a coffin or whatever.
I don't know. There's nothing wrong with that.
It needs to be done. Maybe you're a good person.
You got to wipe the asses of people. Whatever the case may be, your passion will choose you.
Maybe you're a sex criminal. I don't know what you do.
What I'm telling you is, if you don't have a passion, and you, like many people, are kind of just drifting through life. And by the way, it's a beautiful thing to drift.
It's actually a nice thing. It's lovely.
The people that have passions are usually less happy overall than people who don't. Passions can wear you down.
Look at our president. Look at him.
He's in his little skin suit

trying to muster enough energy

to call this guy.

You know why?

Because he wanted to be the thing he is.

His whole life he dreamed of having the big job

and the big desk,

but now he's got his skin

so tightly wrapped around his skull

and he's just trying to insult this man with his soft voice that's where you end up no matter what when you have a passion you're just going to end up there no matter what you'll have a lot of highs and lows on the way but don't worry about it drifting in and out of things being non-committal floating it. It's actually nice, but you need a little bit of money.
You do. You do need a little bit of money.
And these women are starting to realize that. They're realizing you can't just set up an antique store.
It doesn't just happen. You can't just start a restaurant.
Well, I just want to make Neapolitan pizzas. They're the floppy ones.
Oh, I love the

floppy one. You can't.
You need a man to bankroll that. There's no better life than floating in and

out of things without a financial stake in them. It's nice, but in order to do that, someone needs

to bankroll it. Someone has to get killed.
Your husband has to go out and get killed for you to

float in and out of things. There's nothing wrong with that.
It's actually kind of cool.

It's kind of nice. The happiest people you meet are not the ones whose lives are consumed from dawn till dusk with a passion.
The happiest people you meet, truly, the people you meet that are pretty damn happy are the people who are somewhat, they've embraced being aimless, but they're comfortable. they realize that hey I might go to the store today I don't know what I got going on

I don't know what I've got going on

I might go to the store today.

I don't know what I got going on.

I don't know what I've got going on.

I might go today.

I have to see.

Well, I got on the phone, you know, and it's,

I did some laundry.

I dilly-dallied.

I watched an episode of Judge Judy.

I had a glass of wine.

I read a great article about the next place

we should go on vacation.

I wrote a glass of wine. I read a great article about the next place we should go on vacation.
I read a great article about Thailand. So interesting.
Do you know the beaches in Thailand, honey? They're very nice. Yeah, I hear about that.
It's good, Thailand. And those are the people that decide our political future, the pool patio types the housewives they may have college degrees they may not it doesn't matter they may have jobs they may not it doesn't matter it's just you know they're undecided they're the undecided voter they don't quite know what will work out better they're're interested in the preservation of lifestyle, of culture, their culture, their lifestyle.
And at the end of the day, you can't blame them for that. Those are the people that go to the polls.
Those are the people that both political parties have to work with. And I'd speak to very top tier people in a lot of the presidential campaigns, certainly in Trump's and in RFK's, not really in Biden's, but they're the whole media.
We all know what, I don't even have to talk to them. We hear what they say every day.
And they're all shocked now. They're all throwing this old dog under the bus after his son's brain exploded in the burn pit, after he watched his son smoke crack.
After everything,

because there's no fucking loyalty

even to this corpse.

There's no loyalty even to this corpse.

Remember Christine Blasey Ford

after she failed to get Kavanaugh off the court

and they threw her down the drain?

They're going to do that to this guy too.

There's no loyalty.

And it should make you sad.

He's a corpse, but he's your corpse.

But there is no loyalty. They will throw him.
They'll flush him down the turlet. They'll flush him down the turlet because it's not about him and it never was.
It's about the preservation of something bigger than him. That's why he doesn't even need to be alive to run the fucking show.
It's not about you. At the end of the day, it's about something bigger than you.
Someone else will need a patio. Someone else will need a pool.
You understand? There's something bigger than you out there. And it ain't God.
It's fucking Nordstrom's. That's what's bigger than you.
I hope it is God. But let's say for a minute that we just don't know if it is.
But what do we know? We know that the blue box at Tiffany's makes you feel good. So at least fucking be nice.
Be fucking nice, you slug. We know that.
And this slimeball Gavin Newsom, this snake in the grass, this serpent, he lives on a vineyard. He believes in nothing.
He's an empty suit. He's the most conservative member of California's governing apparatus, which will tell you something.
I do not like him as a politician, but I actually dislike him as a person more than a politician, but I do respect him. Now, how can I hold all those thoughts in my head at once? I'll tell you how.
I respect his treachery. I fear it.
If I were near him in a room, I'd be scared of what he'd do. He'd poison you.
He'd kiss you on the cheek. He'd have the brakes taken out of your car.
Of course, he can't do it himself. He'd have someone do it.
His treachery is to be respected the way you'd respect a cobra, the way you would respect a snake in the grass, a literal demon, someone who knows nothing but ambition and who will step on your neck. Watch this man right now reacting to Biden.
He is lying in wait. He wants to pounce.
He wants to inject just enough venom to put the old mummy out to pasture. And here he is.
Here he is reacting. Now, you got to remember, if you're Gavin Newsom, and this has happened, you must double down.
You must double down. You must.
You absolutely must say, not only was Biden great, he's amazing. Not only will I never, this is what you have to do.
There's a great line. There's a movie called Clear and Present Danger.
Harrison Ford is in it. It's a great movie.
Or it's either Clear and Present Danger or Patriot Games, but I believe it's Clear and Present Danger. And he's asking a friend, the president's friend just gets busted for drug trafficking.
And his advisor turns to him and the president goes, well, what do I say about this when I go out there? And his advisor says to him, he goes, not only do you say you're friends, you say we're best friends. We're lifelong friends.
It gives them nowhere to go. You couldn't possibly know what he was doing.
You go, we're best friends. We're lifelong friends.
And that way it gives them nowhere to go. And it's a great line in the movie.
It's Tom Clancy. Gives them nowhere to go.
You're just as shocked as everybody else about this. I want you to keep that in mind.
We're best friends. We're lifelong friends.
Gavin Newsom. You were out there getting a chorus of questions about whether Biden should step down.
There is panic that has set in. Well, there is panic that has set in among people who have watched this debate, who are Democrats, people who are strategists, and some even inside Democratic campaigns.
Do you think it's unfounded? Well, I think it's unhelpful. And I think it's unnecessary.
We've got to go in and got to keep our heads high. And as I say, we've got to have the back of this president.
You don't turn your back because of one performance. What kind of party does that? It's been a masterclass.
15.6 million jobs. That's eight times more than the last three Republican presidents combined.
The only thing the last three Republican presidents have in common is recessions. Democrats deliver.
This president has delivered. We need to deliver for him at this moment.
With all due respect, the more time we start having these conversations go down these rabbit holes, it's unhelpful to our democracy, our fate and future of this country, the world. They need us right now.
See if you can get that scene from Clear and Present Danger. The thing about Gavin Newsom is that he has to run, if he's going to run, if they bring him in, he has to run on the Biden agenda.
So he can't dump Biden. He has to say that Biden has done all these great things.
He's created 15 million new jobs.

Here we go.

And I want, we're going to end the show with this.

God, I miss Tom Clancy.

This is Gavin Newsom right now.

And then we're going to see everybody next week on Patreon.

Let's go.

Oh, well, actually, yes.

Forgive me, but I would go in the other direction.

If a reporter asked if you and Harden were friends, I'd say, no, we're good friends. If they asked if you were good friends, I'd say, no, no, we're lifelong friends.
I would give them no place to go. Nothing to report.
No story. This is the Tim Dillard Show.
Thank you, everyone. We'll see you next week.
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