396 - Rodent Men & Justin Timberlake

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. My business manager, not answering his phone, celebrating Juneteenth out in Palm Springs.
He's celebrating Juneteenth out there in Palm Springs. Black population for people.
And so I guess he's gotten them all together for a Juneteenth celebration because he was not answering his phone on Juneteenth,

which is hilarious.

We still, you know, we want to make sure that everyone is celebrating

all of the holidays, which is good.

Women are having sex with the rat men now.

People are attracted to men with small rodent-like faces. This is culture.
Timothee Chalamet and Jeremy Allen White. I'm not saying you look like rats.
That's the guardian. I'm not saying that.
I'm not inferring that you look like... But I'm saying, but they are saying it as a positive.
They're saying that women are like, they like, this is the new guy. It's the year of the rat.
They're saying this is what women want. You know, women have these things, these fetishes that float in and out.
The dad bod comes in and then it goes out, right? The muscular jaw kind of always stays in, but the nerd comes in and out.

The dad bod, the rodent.

And this is the latest iteration of a fetish for many women in America

is for whatever reason, they like these kind of rodent type men.

I don't, you know, I don't know what it is.

Let's go. is for whatever reason, they like these kind of rodent type men.
I don't know what it is, but people look like sexy rats is what women are saying. It's the year of the rat summer.
It's a rat summer. So if you have rat-like features, if you're a rodent, it is your summer.
It is your time. Women are into this.
They want it. And again, I'm not, they're saying all of this.
Chalamet looks like a rat from a Disney film. Jeremy Allen White looks like a slightly tranquilized rat.
O'Connor looks like sort of a sexy henchman rat. The sort of tall and lumbering rat employed to maintain the personal safety of the Rat King.
The Rat King is obviously Barry Kogan from Ireland, who looks like the sort of rat that would have your face off if you cornered him. You know, I mean, it's something.
It's something. And people like it.
There's a certain sex appeal to it. It is probably the beginning of the bestiality.
I would imagine we're opening the door with these rat-like men to a time when people just have sex with animals, I guess. Well, it's not so much that people are hooking up with these men.
These are attractive guys. It's that it's being discussed in these terms that people are fantasizing that they're with a cartoon rat, I think is, you know, this is maybe something that people would not have vocalized at another time.
This is maybe something that would have been left alone. But to all the rat men out there who listen to this show, this is your time.
This is your summer. You got to go out there and make the most of it.
For a while, you were probably ignored. People found your kind of squirrely features bothersome.
Not anymore. They want it.
Well, the women want a guy. There's a masculinity to being a rat, I think.
There's a certain get the cheese element of it. There's a certain filthiness.
The tunnels, the rat tunnels, the Hamas. Is this connected? Are we connecting any of it? Does it have a sociopolitical thing? Women love true crime because they kind of want to be thrown in a trunk.
Do they want a rat to drag him into the tunnels? I don't know. Not even going there.
Not even going there. This show has advertisers that we love and respect.
Not going there. Don't want to.
Uninterested. The Supreme Court, bitch, who is great, by the way.
Now, the Supreme Court, obviously, will go nuts and try to, you know,

ban the morning after pill and condoms,

and they will try to ban, you know, any type of,

probably they'll ban everything, or they'll try.

But this woman, Marianne Alito,

I'm never a fan of this type of journalism, by way I know that a lot of people do it um and I don't care so much about it it goes both ways you know James O'Keefe does

a lot of this where he finds people that are willing to admit certain things and uh this woman

got Marianne Alito to admit certain things here's why I've never been a fan of this type of journalism. I already know what they're going to get the people to admit.
So it's not an aha moment to me because I'm smart. So I'm not shocked at any of this gotcha stuff.
Not that it doesn't have its place and I'm not chastising the people who do it, but I'm never like, oh my, oh my God. Whoa, this is earth shattering.
This is groundbreaking that, you know, someone at the Pentagon is talking about, you know, diversity, equity, and inclusion, and they don't like Trump, and there's people in these institutions that we get it. I know all that, and I know that this woman's a nut.
She's a fun nut, though, and I get it. Her whole deal is she's basically this, and they're doing the bit about how she's like a real housewife, and she's a Supreme Court wife, and her and Ginny Thomas, Clarence Thomas' wife, who's a little bit of a nut, they're out there getting boozed up, shooting from the hip, going hard, and this woman is saying things about the pride flag, which as a gay person, I don't even know what it is anymore.
I look at the pride flag in LA. I don't even know what it is.
Circles and squares and triangles. There's so many colors.
I don't know what it is or what it signifies or what it's about. I know what it initially was about.
I don't know what it is about now. And I don't get it.
I stare at it. And I'm trying to imagine what color represents what thing.
Literally, a friend of mine, we looked at one in West Hollywood the other day. My friend goes, is that part for the hostages? I'm like, well, I don't think they put.
I don't think they put. Yeah, let's break down what the pride flag is.
Can we get all, what is the circle in the yellow? Like, can we analyze what it is? Because that's her big beef, if she has to look at this pride flag. And I don't know if I even blame her, only because it's so convoluted and crazy now.
I don't even know what it is or what it's supposed to be. It's like you get, it was a rainbow.
And then it was like, okay, fine. But now it's, it's, it's the, by the way, and this has been bandied about by other people.
The idea that they took something gay and made it like not stylish, not aesthetically pleasing is wild.

Like they've made this new pride flag and it's something that's very ugly.

It's not nice.

It's,

it is a clashes.

All the colors clash to run together.

You would never have this in your house.

A gay interior designer would never put this in your home.

They would have a stroke.

So now it's bi-inclusive.

The bi.

But is there anything that has like a breakdown of it?

I know it's difficult.

I don't even know if they know what it is.

They might just keep adding things to it. They should keep adding things to it because people have given up.
No one's even doing what I'm doing right now, which is going, what color corresponds to which group? Like right now there's a part of the flag that is like, it's yellow or gold and it has a circle, a purple circle. Does anyone with a gun to their head know what that is? Hold on, here we go.
The red in the flag represents life. Orange represents healing.
Yellow represents sunlight. Green is nature.
Indigo is blue. Whatever.
Serenity, the last color. The meaning of the new progress pride flag.
The new progress pride flag includes new colors and a new design that are meant to represent people of color, as well as people that are intersex and non-binary.

Pink, baby blue, and white represent trans people.

Okay.

Color placement and new shape.

Listen to this.

Listen to this.

The word progress of the new flag isn't only about adding the new colors to it.

It's because of the shape, which differs from the original design of horizontal stripes only. The progress pride flag shows the white, pink, baby, blue, black, and brown stripes in a triangle shape with the six colored rainbow stacked next to them.
This was done intentionally to convey the separation and meaning and shift focus of how important these new issues are. The placement of the new colors in a narrow shape is meant to convey the progress still needed.
Although the pride flag continues to evolve, the most recent update includes a yellow triangle with a purple circle. Yes, inside it to represent the intersex community.
My favorite thing now is to go to a pride flag without that circle and go, what about the intersex, and really throw someone off. What about them? So that's the pride flag now.
It's all, I mean, look at it. Just take a look at how aesthetically displeasing this flag is how confusing it is it is a trump uh ad it really is it's become it's because people are looking at it going what is this what is it is it? What does it signify? And when does it end? Does it end? Does the pride flag have an end? This is a question.
Is there any time when someone will go, this is a bit crowded? No. Is there one person in the meeting that goes, this seems a bit crowded? Because there's probably, you know, that's not the only thing.
They've pitched all kinds of changes to that. You got to remember like how many genders there are.
Like there's been a lot of things pitched. So this, as crazy as this is, this represents like the conservative approach in in a sense to the pride flag because someone had to go we've got to stop of that like we can only add six new colors to this we have to stop at six so it is someone in the meeting had to go, we can't do every color.
Someone probably goes, what about emerald green for the Irish? I know where you're going there, you know, but it's just, I don't know. So we have Marianna Leto, who might hate gay people and might not.
I don't know. I don't know what this woman feels, and I don't really care either about what she, you know.
She's not on the Supreme Court. Her husband is.
Most of these issues will go to state votes, probably. Maybe gay marriage will abortion did, and a lot of red states codify abortion in their constitutions.
A lot of them, when those measures are put on the ballot, even states like Kansas, a lot of them choose to have abortion. I don't, you know, America has a strong strain of fundamentalism that runs through it.
And I think the return of it is sort of a, obviously we had a long period of time where people, this ideology on the left was ascendant of, you know, this is sort of chaos. And we've seen the response to that.
And obviously you have the response to that as more of a kind of people that are coming out that are more traditionalists. And some of that obviously could be like Christian, psychotic fundamentalism, which you don't want.
Hopefully you end where we can never seem to end in this country in the middle and like some type of balance where it's more of a live and let live mentality where nobody is trying to, because that's when the country works. The best is when everybody, I hate to say, but it's like everyone in this country does kind of need to be worked to death.
You really can't give people in this country much time to reflect on anything else other than working like they have to work i'm not saying that they should be like working in unsafe conditions or not being paid but like this whole idea that there's a real dimension of meaning in this country that people are going to access when they're not working it's just not borne out by the facts it's just not if people are my fear with AI and all this stuff is with less people working, they're going to have all the time in the world. And idle time is the devil's play thing.
People will just, like this woman doesn't do anything. This woman, this Alito lady, shouldn't do anything.
Now, so she's looking at this pride flag and it's bothering her. I get it.
And I'm not saying that she should be out there with her own cosmetics line or, you know, a charity where she makes hats for little dogs. I don't know what she should be doing, but there is certainly an amount of free time that seems to be unhealthy for any human being.
You know, boomers right now, some of them have a lot of free time on their hands. And, you know, a lot of this has manifested in their behavior, which is quite insane.
So I think that a lot of what we're seeing now from a lot of people, not everyone, there are people that are working unimaginably hard all the time. You know what I mean? I don't know any of them.
I've never met any of them. But they are out there.
Truly. I've met a few of them.
But this woman's kind of sitting around all day knocking back a couple of drinks. Let's hear what she's got to say about this pride flag that is bothering her.
You know what I want? I want a sacred heart of Jesusesus flag because i have to look across the lagoon at the pride flag for the next month exactly and he's like oh please don't put up a flag i said i won't do it because i'm deferring to you but when you are free of this nonsense i'm putting it up and i'm going to send them a message every day maybe every week i'll be changing the flags there'll be all kinds I made a flag in my head. This is how I satisfy myself.
I made a flag. It's white.
It has yellow and orange flames around it. And in the middle is the word vergogna.
Vergogna in Italian means shame. Yeah, I mean, you know, this is like a Long Island lunatic mom.
This is all this woman is. Her husband just happens to be on the Supreme Court.
She's creating flags in her head in a free time. That's something my friend's mother would do.
This, you know, when you realize the people that run everything don't really have any skills, it's terrifying. But you come to that realization sooner rather than later, and'll help you out this lady is not any type of uh this isn't really news and it's not super interesting um she's a deeply conservative probably catholic italian lady um you know and she just is sick of looking at the pride flag you you know? And I don't really care what this woman feels about much.
I think she's fun. She's probably a lunatic.
I mean, living with her has got to be tough. Can you imagine that he gets home every day and she's like, you want to hear about the new flag? Well, this one is baby blue to represent the sky.
and in the middle is the word Tortuga, which was the prison from Pirates of the Caribbean, Johnny Depp. And I watched that three hours.
I watched all the movies today while you were at the Supreme Court. I was watching the back-to-back Pirates of the Caribbean movies and taking the pill that the doctor gave me.
This is just what you get at the end of your life when there's not much left to do. And by the way, you used to not hear from people at this stage of their life.
They were shut in. That was a term, shut-ins.
It was great gardens. They would just tinker around their house.
They'd play with little things. Louis C.K.
has a great bid about how, like, he hates going into those little stores because it's just him and a woman standing there, and she's got all her little trinkets. It's like her little dream, and she's got a little dump store on Nantucket or wherever, and, you know, she's made a little seagull with a, but that's kind of what it was forever when people got to this stage, because you start to decline in many ways, mentally, in all kinds of ways.
So when she's going, I don't care that she doesn't like the pride flag. When she goes, I make flags.
Listen to there'll be all kinds i made a flag in my head this is how i satisfy myself i made a flag so she's sitting at home all day making flags in her head of things that she would like to convey And one of them is shame. But, you know, this is what you get.
This is what you get. All we do in our culture right now is listen to the musings of elderly people.
This is all we do, whether it's presidents, whether they're in the Supreme Court, all we do is dissect the crazy things that old people say and try to find a meaning in them or get very scared and terrified because we're like, what do they mean? They're old. They're old.
This woman is old. She's angry.
She doesn't understand the pride flag. I don't understand the pride flag, but I don't manufacture fake flags in my head that better represent the things that I care about.
But this woman is being made happy by this. This is how she satisfies herself.
This is her quote. This is how I make myself happy.
I make little flags in my head that are the things that I want. I want a return of shame to society.
So I've made a flag in my head and I'm going to hang it outside of my house. And all she's saying, by the way, and I know people are like, well, her husband's a Supreme Court justice and da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Well well Ruth Bader Ginsburg could have retired but you didn't do that you could have had a democratic supreme court justice but you yas queened Ruth Bader Ginsburg until she was in the grave so now you have a supreme court that's tilting conservative but the Amy Coney Barrett lady won't be as conservative as you think because she's got

like 25 uh african orphan children so even though she'll be conservative she'll also swing left on some weird things already not loving some of the things she does i don't know i think the supreme court will kick a lot of these issues down to the state states will make um these decisions and i'm I'm not saying that that's a great thing in every case,

but that seems to be where a lot of these cultural hot button issues land as they land in state legislatures and they end up on ballots and then people usually you know vote how their state wants to live it's like you know there are different states and they want to live different ways and they all have you know, vote how their state wants to live. It's like, you know, there are different states and they want to live different ways

and they all have, you know, benefits.

And, you know, Texas right now,

you might live with people that agree with you.

It's 103 degrees and the lakes are swamps.

They have the color of the Donkey Kong country,

whatever it is, when him and Diddy Kong are swimming through the nuclear, that's the color of the lake. But you might go and you'd be right to say they put people in jail when they commit crimes.
That's true. California is beautiful, stunning, not 103 degrees, but you might get got.
a homeless person might cut you when you take out your garbage that's not good life's about trade-offs you got to decide what you want you know maybe you like upstate new york because it's cheap but maybe you're sick of seeing old broke down factories and it depresses you and you're sick of looking at fucking weird guys in the CVS trying to grab pills that they're not prescribed. I don't know.
You got to find a place or you can do what I do. I just jump around because I get bored and I just dodge the things.
So when the crazy hotness that season, I dodge it. I come to California, I dodge the homeless.
You know? And I go over to, you know, you can make your life what you want it to be. And there's this idea that Marianna Alito is really going to affect your life.
And I don't think she will. Her husband could.
But her husband can in certain ways and in other ways he can't. And there's usually a workaround with a lot of these issues.
Like there's usually a workaround with a lot of these issues. Doesn't mean they're not going to try to do certain things.
But again, with abortion, you could see, like for for example, Texas, now you can't get an abortion. You got to go elsewhere.
That's a nice trip. That's a nice trip.
Imagine you need an abortion in Texas in July. Lucky you.
You're like, let's get the fuck out of here. It's 103 degrees at night.
It's 97 degrees at night here.

Can you get an, let's get an abortion somewhere.

You take a nice trip to Vermont for an abortion.

You get a nice pancake breakfast.

You do a nice kayak in a Vermont lake and get an abortion.

You know how nice that is?

Getting out of the fucking swamp heat.

It's not a swamp, but I mean, they got lakes there

that are swamp-like.

And, you know, it's seasonal.

So that's the thing.

If you can time your abortions in red states

when they get too hot

and you can go to blue states for a seasonal abortion,'s not terrible i know it's more convenient to get the abortion at the grocery store up the block i get it but if you can time your abortions for the height of the summer and you go we're just go and you don't have to tell anyone you're going for an abort. You go, we're going on holiday.
Say it the British way. It feels nicer.
We're going on holiday, and then you go somewhere, and you go to the Hamptons to get an abortion in the Hamptons. Get a Hamptons abortion.
There's a clinic. You can get it.
Don't be depressed all all the time people are always anxious and depressed because they think the government's going to take all their rights away that's that's not they're not wrong per se but there's a work around usually to these things that they want to do and a lot of them they don't get them done anyway and then some of they do. And there's usually a workaround.
A seasonal summer abortion in the Northeast is a great way to get out of your red state heat. Nashville ain't that fun August 1st.
It gets a lot more fun around Halloween, October, you know? get an abortion in a blue state in the summer.

Go up to Boston, have some fried clams

and suck the baby out.

In the summer, there's a worker.

There's always a way to do it.

And it's actually fun.

It's fun to do it. Leave at night.
Take a night flight. You feel like you want.
Justin Timberlake, sad. He's in the Hamptons.
It's a place I know and love. He's drunk.
He gets pulled over. His tour wasn't selling.
Can everyone leave him alone? Can we get the news vans out of Sag Harbor? People are trying to have, people work really, really hard and they have a lot of money and they don't care about this. And we need to not, we need to get the press out of the Hamptons.
This isn't, no offense, a low income area where people are excited to see the news the news in low-income areas people like when the news comes in because it's fun it is low-income areas when the news van comes in people get excited the kids start clapping and everything we don't need that out there get the news out rich people don't really like when the press shows up. It's never for a good reason.
A few tables away, Stuart Levine, the former chef executive of Dale Carnegie and Associates, split $45 crab cakes with his wife, Harriet Levine. You won't be getting your Pulitzer Prize for this, he said to a reporter.
Great. Stu, get him.
Go get him, Stu. This is why you need Jews.
The Jews will chase him off. You need them.
It's true. It's true.
The wasps would just let it be overrun. The wasps don't do confrontation, you know? They don't.
That's why all the food in waspy restaurants sucks because they just don't even want to look the waiter in the eye. The wasps just want to be served.
They want to drink things out of, you know, pewter, mason, weird like George Washington type of cutlery and these weird pewter cups and all that stuff and mason jars. And they just want to eat in like a barn environment and then leave and not have once made eye contact

with the waiter.

The Jews, which is why they are big time needed,

like my mother who wasn't Jewish,

but learned culturally from Jews how to complain.

Complaining is essential.

It keeps things good.

You have to complain.

Italians do it to a degree.

Jews kind of do it the best. And my mother learned from a lot of You have to complain.
Italians do it to a degree. Jews kind of do it the best.

And my mother learned from a lot of Jews how to complain.

And that's why the restaurants in Long Island are really good

or they go out of business.

And that's why hopefully they get the press out of Sag Harbor.

And Justin Timberlake, don't get in the car drunk.

Don't get in the car drunk.

You're rich.

If you are rich and you get a dewey, you

are so fucking lazy. Get a driver.
Get a fucking driver, dude. After Justin Timberlake threw Janet Jackson under the bus, I never really had a ton of respect for him.
I think he's haunted by that. I think he's haunted by that to a degree

you know

it looks like a haunted person there. Get him out.
Get the news vans out of my town. I don't live in Sag Harbor.
I live in Southampton, but still. Get him out.
I don't want to deal with it. I will, I will, you will get in here.
By the way, this week i'm not i'm in la but i wish i was there because i would give them an interview oh i go i saw him i was drinking with him i was getting fucked up with him yeah we were out drinking i told him i said justin don't get. And you know what he said to me? He goes, I don't respect the laws of this country.
He goes, because there are no laws. He goes, you know how many people cross illegally over the southern border every day? I said, no, Justin, I don't.
He goes, thousands, tens of thousands of people cross right into our country over the southern border every day. We don't know who they are, where they're coming from.
I go, interesting. I go, so that's your rationality? He goes, yeah.
I'm just one guy driving drunk. We've got hordes of people coming, armies.
I go, interesting. They go, all right, cut, cut the interview.
I go, no, but I was drinking with him. This is what he said.
By the way, talk about VIP. Mexican cartels offering VIP packages for migrants.
I'm not against VIP migrants coming in. I think we have to soften our approach if we're talking about people that have paid money.
I do respect people that pay for the experience. And there's a lot of migrants right now that are paying for a better experience.
The tunnel is dark and narrow. Toxic gases rise from the dank water.
Insects scurry along the sides. Rattlesnakes wait, coiled.
Rodents lurk along the water's edge. Like Jeremy Allen White.
No. Yet this drainage network that reaches from Ciudad Juarez into El Paso, Texas, is one of the most sought-after routes for patrons of a VIP migration package offered by Mexican cartels to those with the money to pay for it.
The tunnel route costs at least $6,000, according to interviews with top Mexican state Federal law enforcement officials From both sides of the border And migrants waiting to cross in encampments Along the Rio Grande Ricardo, a migrant smuggler Said he has charged as much as $15,000 Everything in this underground world Functions by a code That cartels give their VIP customers Often delivered by cell phone that identifies which cartel travel agency a migrant is working with, so everyone from local police to rival criminal syndicates knows not to harass them. Heightened U.S.
security along the 2,000 mile border with Mexico and fewer legal pathways to come north have been an economic boon for Mexican criminal organizations. Instead of fixing a broken immigration system, the U.S.
government is outsourcing migration policy to criminal groups, some experts say. Increasing practices of corruption.
The migrant, says Blanca Navarote, director of the Migrant Advocacy Nonprofit, is the one to pay the price for that lack of action. a joint investigation by mexican and u.s authorities have discovered that one

juarez-based cartel has been smuggling at least is the one to pay the price for that lack of action. A joint investigation by Mexican and U.S.
authorities

have discovered that one Juarez-based cartel

has been smuggling at least 1,000 migrants

through tunnels into El Paso every month.

They're switching from drug trafficking

to human trafficking.

I feel better about the migrants

who have come in through this kind of VIP process.

To be honest, I do.

If you have enough money to pay for a luxury smuggling operation,

I feel slightly better overall about your chances to assimilate into America. You're doing a very American thing and I kind of like it.
You're paying criminals to make your life easier. This is what I do every time I hire a realtor or a lawyer.
So the idea that they've already kind of embraced this idea that you got to pay to play, I don't hate that. I don't.
60 to 70% of the focus of these cartels now is migrant smuggling. A kilo of cocaine might bring in 1,500, but that risk is very high.
The cost benefit of trafficking a person is $10,000, $12,000, $15,000. So this is a booming business for the cartels.
The cartels are really figuring out. And you think about it, is it like the United Polaris or the Delta One or the JetBlue Mint? What are you getting? What are you getting? What do you get? And we should have migrants on here if they would come on and we'd even black out their faces to just compare the different smuggling experiences.
What are the different cartels doing to compete with each other to win the business of migrants? Are there different tunnels? Do you think a cartel tries to get the rats and snakes out of one of the tunnels? And you think when people talk to each other, they go, that's tunnels. There's no snakes.
That's why we use them. There's actually no snakes and no rodents.
They get all the rodents and the snakes out of that tunnel. That's why it's nice.
They give you a breakfast. Do you think anybody gets a breakfast

once they get to El Paso?

I don't understand, but I'm sure that there are different ways that these different VIP cartels are using, you know, the little bonus perks they give people. I'm wondering exactly what they are.
And that would be, and we probably only know if we spoke to actual migrants who I imagine don't speak English, but I feel better about it. I feel better about it.
Can we make an immigration policy that we only allow cartel smuggled VIPs in? And is that okay? Or will people get up in arms about that? Because they've proven they got 12, 15 grand. So right away, I know you're not destitute.
You got 12, 15. You got 12 or 15 grand, and you're willing to pay for it so your family has a better experience.
It's a Disney fast pass. You don't wait on the lines.
I'm all for it. It makes me feel better because the panic about immigration, is you bring in a bunch of people people and it's just, you know, they don't have the means to support themselves.
Somebody coming in with 15, 12 to 15 thou, giving it to the cartel, the cartel doing what they need to do to get them across safely, you know? That to me makes me feel better about this whole thing. Now, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I do think that it does.
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So the Atlantic, by the way, this new thing, the Atlantic,

the most American city is Phoenix, which is probably true.

It's 113 degrees.

I love the Atlantic. What will become

of American civilization? It's like, I was doing

this five years ago.

This is all like, we're all late to the

game here. We're late to the game.

The Atlantic magazine

is now trying to sell everybody on

the idea

that

Thank you. here.
We're late to the game. The Atlantic Magazine is now trying to sell everybody on the idea that Phoenix is our fastest growing city.
And it is a bad sign because most of Phoenix, not all of it, there are Paradise Valley, there are Scottsdale, but I don't even know if that's Phoenix. Most of Phoenix is like that guy and that.
So that's most of Phoenix right there. That's what you will find.
If you go to Phoenix, you will see that man and you will see that Vista. Phoenix is kind of hot and there's not much there, not much going on.
And this article is about how, you know, whatever it, what they, they use the word conspiracy theory, but here, go up to that. I'll actually like that.
They use the word conspiracy theory. So loosely can literally mean anything, but I love this.
Even touching the pavement. It's dangerous.
A woman waiting in line outside a food pantry showed me a large patch of pink skin on her calf.

The scar of a second degree burn

from a fall she'd taken during high heat.

So if you fall on the concrete in Phoenix,

you can get a second degree burn from the pavement.

And this is America's fastest growing city.

People want this.

They go, no, no, no, no, no. It's good.
Just don't touch the ground. It's a great city.
Don't touch the ground. There's sort of this idea about the American deserts.
There's a seductive quality to the American desert. The sunsets are amazing.
The vast open spaces, it's wild. There's something about it that calls you, but I'm here to tell you from living in a lot of those communities, they are not what you think they will be.
Number one, the desert homeless is a different thing because they always look kind of caked with dirt So they do have that Mad Max appearance That a lot of the other homeless don't The desert homeless, they're caked in a layer of dirt And that kind of colorful desert dirt So they do look kind of It's a dystopian kind of colorful desert dirt. So they do look kind of, it's a dystopian kind of Mad Max appearance that a lot of those people have.
People aren't ready for that. It is Star Wars a little bit when they're all out in the desert.
Get a picture of the sand people up. Get a picture of the sand people up from Star Wars.
Get a nice big close-up on that. This is kind of...
Yeah, yeah. That's kind of what homeless people in Phoenix look like.
You have to be ready for this. I wasn't ready for this.
You have to be ready for the elements in all of their manifestations. You think it's just going to be nice, but kind of the mark of an area now, when you go to an area, when you live in an area, basically you're like, so people that aren't doing well here, how do they live? That's more interesting.
If you are going on tour of a home with a real estate agent, ask her immediately, where are the people that aren't doing so hot? Because they're going to tell you about how nice it is. And well, there's, they just did a whole redevelopment.
It's a whole, so it's like indoor, outdoor dining, and it's a whole mall concept. And it's really good.
There's the gym and there's the whole fitness center actually. And there's the wellness center.
And then you go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cut all that out.
Where are the people who are not doing well? Where are they? And how are they living? How are they living? You're going to have to buy homes now and decide communities based on the character of the homeless people in the area. Are they aggressive? Are they amiable? Are they friendly? Do they have talents? Do they play any instruments? Truly, homeless is not going anywhere.
It's a huge part of every urban experience in America. The character of homeless, what are the tents on a few blocks? Are they pretty central? You know, in Austin, the heat makes them very aggressive.
The Austin, they're still Texans, the homeless in Austin. So they're very aggressive.
They're very in your face. Whereas the California homeless, they're, again, california they're more laid back they're more laid back so you really have to ask the local realtor what is the character of the homeless and i will say this the desert homeless look exactly like this and are terrifying um not so much in how aggressive they are but they they're just, they're a sight to behold.

You have to be ready for it.

You have to be ready for it.

And you might like it.

But the desert itself is not, is not where you want to be all year round.

All year round.

And by the way, we've got, yeah. So, I mean, you can take a look at that.
That's, there you go. The reason people like it, the reason that a lot of people are flocking to the desert is that it seems like untapped.
Like there's going to be a lot of new stuff. They're going to build a lot of stuff, but it is the surface of Mars.
It's the surface of Mars. As it gets hotter, people are going to die all the time in front of you.
They're going to die in front of you. And it's going, you know, it's going to be shocking and then inconvenient.
You're going to feel terrible about how much you don't care. People are going to die.
It's like when people are junkies,

OD and Whole Foods,

it will get to a level of heat where people just start passing out.

You're going to have to spray their face with water.

This is what's going to happen.

This is the way life's going to work.

Some lady is going to pass out

and you're going to have to,

someone's got to pick her up

because immediately after she passed out,

the pavement's going to burn her legs. So she's going to pass out and then start screaming outside of a Phoenix grocery store.
As soon as she hits the ground, her legs are going to be, the skin is going to be cinched off by the cooking pavement. So she's like falling on a griddle and she's going to go, help, help me, help.
And it's just going to be elderly people who've fallen on a pavement that is burning them and they're going to be cooking, cooking like little cheeseburgers, literally little human cheeseburgers on the pavement that you're going to have to either help or step over on the way into the grocery store to get whatever you're getting, a cooler. And there's just going to be these old people, maybe young people, maybe junkies, maybe who do we don't know? Maybe people that just fell cooking.
And you're going to have to lift them up and then they're going to start spraying them in the face with that water fan. And they're going to give them cold fluids and they're going to spray them in the face with a way.
Does it sound fun? Does it sound appealing? Does it sound like fun? Those areas are great if around June you can skedaddle and come back in October. If you can skedaddle in June and come back in October, those areas are great.
You'll love it. Or you won't.
I'd never live in Phoenix, but people do and like it. I have friends who live in other parts of Arizona that love it.
It is very difficult to spend the entire year there if people are going to be falling down and then their skin is going to be burned off their body by the pavement. It's not good.
I'm telling you, it's not going to be a great situation. I know you think, oh, it's going to be great.
We're moving to the desert. The sunsets are beautiful.
But that's not the reality. The reality is a person being cooked on the sidewalk in front of you, struggling to get up, going, ah! And you have to, you and some other person that you don't even know.
You ever coordinate helping someone, people you don't even know? Ugh. You gotta go, hey, help me.
You're lifting up this old person who's probably fat because of the food, of the queso blanco. So then you lift this person up.
And now this person's gonna collapse on you. This fat person that you've lifted up is going to collapse on you.
Now you're on the ground. And the pavement is burning your skin.
And you're yelling. And, you know, think.
Think a little bit before you go in there. That's all.
That's all I'm saying. I'm not saying it's not good.
I'm not saying it's not good. This podcast is brought to you in part by Stash.
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Investing involves risk, offers subject to terms and conditions.

Joey's Chestnut has got kicked out of the hot dog competition.

He's out of 2024 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in beef over vegan Franks.

I don't know what happened here,

but a lot of people told me about this.

They were upset about this.

Joey Chestnut,

perennial winner of the annual Nathan's 4th of July hot dog eating

competition is out of this year's beef barf over a deal he made to

represent a different Wiener brand.

Wow.

The brand is impossible foods.

The leading maker of meatless meats is known for its impossible Burger, which contains a laboratory-synthesized substance called heme. It recently launched a Frankfurter imposter that's made from plants.
The Nathan's contest at the corner of Stilwell and Surf Avenue is one block from the famous boardwalk. It's been a Coney Island tradition since 1916.
The California born Chestnut has won it 16 times every year since 2016. Joey Chestnut has won it.
He gobbled a world record 76 dogs and buns in 2021 and kept us out of the paltry 62 down the hatch last year. So that's Joey Chestnut, the winner, the King of Kings, a rep for major league Eating, which Nathan sanctions to run the event, said the organizers bent over backwards to meet Chestnut's various other demands.
But they said they drew the line on letting Chestnut pitch for a different hot dog brand. Well, you gotta go where the money is.
You won it 16 times. There's nothing left, Joey.
It is interesting how people define themselves in the world.

You know?

You know?

This guy is the greatest competitive eater alive, probably, right?

Maybe even better than the Kobayashi guy.

I don't know.

But this guy has won the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest 16 times.

He is the legend.

I don't know if anyone will ever get to his level.

Joey Chestnut.

I do not know that.

I can't imagine that.

But someone somewhere might attempt it.

And then this guy's picture goes on their wall.

And they go, I got to beat this guy.

This guy has set the record.

16 years of his life through all things,

the Iraq war, whatever was going on.

This guy shows up and he wins a hot dog eating contest.

Thank you. 16 years of his life through all things, the Iraq war, whatever was going on, this guy shows up and he wins a hot dog eating contest.
There's something to that. There's something to the consistency of somebody who no matter what is going on, shows up and does his job, shows up and does the work.
There's something nice about that. And I think they should have said, fuck it.
In the world that we're living in, we should have let Joey Chestnut, we should have let Joey Chestnut compete. We shouldn't have balked that he's just trying to make his money with an impossible, because that's where everything's going anyway.
You might hate it. Many people dislike it, but it's going to chemical sludge that isn't meat, but bleeds like meat.
It's where it's going. It's going to that kind of chemical green sludge that isn't quite meat.
Because that's how they're going to have to feed the world, I guess. So it's going to be sludge.
They're going to feed everybody will get sludge. That's what's coming.
Soylent Green. It's coming.
You're going to want Soylent Green when you see what they've got planned. But that's really what it is.
What a great episode of that show. But yeah, so Joey Chestnut, people got mad at him because he's marketing this impossible vegan hot dog.
Who cares? This guy's a champion. Let him work.
I'm against that. It's never, you know, all the things Joey Chestnut could have done, he did none of them.
We went through a period. Everybody's raping everybody.
People are texting people underage. We got people going off on Twitter threads, screaming and yelling about every group of people.
This guy didn't get out and Heil Hitler. The guy came out and said, I'm taking money from the sludge company because they're spreading it around and I need it.
I need it. I want to, they're, they're coming with some real money.
Maybe this guy's got kids. He's got kids, got a family.
Does he have anything? He's probably got a family and he goes, well, what are my kids going to do? They don't, they don't have the magic. Yeah.
He's got, what has he got, a son named

Merlin? I believe so, yeah.

And a daughter named Alicia, maybe.

I think it's his wife.

He's doing this for the kids.

Chestnut

knows there's very little chance the kids

are going to follow in his footsteps.

He's doing this for his family. So why would Nathan's not fucking, Nathan should have matched him.
What's his net worth? Four. Four mil, not bad.
Four million dollars. He's a legend.
And Joey Chestnut is a fucking legend do a new hot dog eating with all vegan hot dogs start a new one start a new hot dog eating contest take Nathan's out I'm sick them. They've had the monopoly on this for too long,

Joey Chestnut.

You go out there and you start a vegan hot dog eating contest.

By the way,

Vladimir Putin and the guy from North Korea,

do you have this photo of them kind of having fun and goofing?

Yeah,

it's amazing.

It's kind of amazing.

They're enjoying themselves.

Nobody shows these dictators having any fun.

But it's got to be a little fun, right?

Isn't that the point?

We know there's a lot of pressure.

Are they in a Cullinan?

Is that a Rolls-Royce Cullinan?

Yeah, it's like a special one.

A special one.

I'll play a bit of this video.

Let's see what happens. Put it on silent, maybe.
So I think Vlad is driving this car, and this is a fun car. It looks like a Rolls Royce Phantom.
It's like a limo. And he's in the thing.
North Korea is pretty. It really is pretty.
I've had enough of the demonizing of North

Korea. I won't

stand for that anymore. Look how nice

these dogs are.

Look how pretty and green it is

in the summer.

Oh, it is.

What a nice trip.

Look at those horses.

All we hear about is this country

sucks, but look at these North Korean horses. This looks nice.
This is great, by the way. This is perfect.
They've got a new military alliance. How great are we doing, huh? Pushing all these countries together, getting them all talking again, getting them to set up formal alliances.

What a great move.

Good moves.

Just shrewd, shrewd foreign policy all around,

getting all these countries to start hanging out again and talking and chatting

and setting up formal military alliances

and guaranteeing each other military aid and support.

It's almost like this thing we have NATO,

by ramping this thing up,

we've gotten the guys over there to start doing their own thing. How cool is that? How fun is that? It's just cool.
Because we want countries like China and Russia and North Korea and Iran to set up their own thing. That's why we couldn't have been quiet about our goddamn thing.
We had to shove it down everyone's throat.

And after you've shoved it down everyone's throat,

apparently they go, you know what?

They're having so much fun with that NATO thing they've got.

Why don't we get something going?

We could have kept our thing quiet, used it here and there.

No, but we keep going. We want to keep putting new countries into it.
Come on, get it here and there. No, but we keep going.

We want to keep putting new countries into it.

Come on.

Get over here. Get in here.
And now we got Putin and jog my memory on this guy's name. Kim Jong-un.
Kim Jong-un. Correct.
have taken a joyride in a Rolls Royce in a beautiful green North Korea that looks gorgeous and stunning. And we're all sitting here, sitting on our hands.
Oh, it's an Oris limousine. It's Russian built.
Looks like a Rolls Royce.

Kind of a bootleg Rolls Royce.

Let's be honest.

Putin and Kim took turns driving in a Russian built Oris limousine.

Pyongyang.

I like it.

It looks really nice there.

I love landscaping.

Like when it's done well.

And they're talking and hanging out.

Only good things.

Only good things are coming.

When I see these two guys driving around,

back slapping, having fun, I think to myself, only good things are on their way. What bad could come of this? Thank you everyone for listening.
We taped a fun special at the Comedy Store the other night and it will be out somewhere, probably in the fall. And it was very exciting.
We're not really the road right now we have one more date which is nashville uh 29th of june and then it's the ryman auditorium a couple of days before the election is that the election november 2nd uh i thought it was right i think well anyway november 2nd will be in displains illinois at a something the convention center casino. Let me.
Okay. So three days before the election, we'll be, just go back to that.
We'll be at the event center at Rivers Casino, Des Plaines, Illinois, November 2nd, 2024, 7 p.m. So there's that.
There's that, folks. If you want to get involved, timdilloncomedy.com folks If you want to get involved

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