388 - Mike Recine & Lizzo Be Quitting

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.

Mike Racine is with us.

He has a really hilarious new special on the Out for Smokes YouTube channel,

his podcast Out for Smokes 2.

Go and subscribe to that and listen to it.

It's very funny.

He does it with two really funny guys, Scott Chaplin and Sean.

I always forget his last name.

McCarthy.

McCarthy.

I like him a lot.

Is he back on Twitter?

Yeah.

Remember when they got rid of him?

Yeah.

But he's back.

He's back. He's a great follow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a lot of fun.
Yeah, Richie Torres was tweeting about him, the United States Congressperson. Oh, interesting.
Yeah. Who's that again? I think he represents the Bronx.
Okay. Yeah.
And he represents Israel. He goes very hard for Israel.
He's one of these guys.

Richie Will Torres, you would make sense.

Torres.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because his family from many generations, the Torres family from Israel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so was he getting into it with Sean McCarthy?

Yeah.

Sean tweeted something about the hostages.

Sure.

And then when they did the release, and then Richie Torres goes, wow, look at this. An account that hates me is fantasizing about raping a teenager.
About Sean. There was nothing.
Can we say that? I know it's the first 10 minutes. It's fine.
I mean, we've kind of given up on the idea of some of them get the green dollar. Some of them get the other dollar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They hide some of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of them don't.
Yeah. Float to the top of the algorithm.
I was trying to look at my YouTube monetization the other night. I couldn't find how much money I was being paid.
Well, it's all. Clicking through the hole.
Yeah. It's arbitrary in the sense that, like, there's episodes that you'd figure wouldn't get the money, but they do, and then there's ones where you go, I didn't say anything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then those don't.
Yeah. They like it being arbitrary because that's where the fear is.
Sure. Because if you knew what you could and couldn't do, there's no fun in that.
There's no fun, yeah. For them.
They want you to just kind of be afraid. They probably like having that power to take somebody's tail away.
It's why a dictator just will do random raids. Right, right, right.
You know what I mean? It's like, I don't want you to know why we knocked down your door and dragged you out. Yeah, you're like, I've never seen a guy get eaten by sharks before.
What does that look like? Yeah, you gotta keep it fun. Yeah, you gotta keep it fun.
They just drag people out every now and then. That's really what it is.
YouTube just opening the door. Yeah.
Your family's all there. And they drag you out in front of everybody and question you in the middle of the night.
Right. That's what it is.
Right. And then you go, I don't, I don't.
And people act like they wouldn't do that if they didn't have the power. That's correct.
The Chapo guys would be doing it. Everybody would do it.
They could. All of those people would do it.
Yeah. Absolutely.
It's hard when you get that, because the tech people have more power

than anyone's ever had.

Yeah.

Because they know what you're searching for.

Sure.

They know your thoughts, your dreams, your fears,

what keeps you up at night.

Yeah.

They have all of that info.

Yeah.

They use that against you.

Yeah.

They can market everything to you in,

you know, in real time.

You talk about something.

Yeah.

The next day you get an ad for it.

Right.

They know. One day they just go, what if we barbecued Tim Dillon? Yeah.
No, someone somewhere I'm sure has brought up, like, why don't we just shut him off? Let me just shut it off. And then someone else is like, well.
Yeah. My kids like him.
You know, it's like. My 13-year-old daughter listens to him.
She loves him. You know, she's a cutter and really likes him.
And what... She's watched him and Rogan and Alex Jones.
That Sandy Hook doc really doesn't do Alex Jones any favors, huh? It is tough when you watch that Sandy Hook doc. You're like, that was clear.
I read in judgment. Wasn't he making like a million dollars a day to say that Sandy Hook was fake? I know.
Who wouldn't? Yeah, it is impressive monetarily. Yeah.
But it is... How did he even figure that out? If I say Sandy Hook was fake...
So here's how. And people piss on those kids' graves, I'll make a million dollars a day.
They showed on the documentary, every time he said it, he made like a bunch of money. Like, no, like every time.
They have like the analytics. So it's like every time he would say like, Sandy Hooks is fake.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. People would buy his iodine supplement or something.
Right, right, right. They'd buy like the colloidal silver.
Right, right, right. So the supplement sales.
But it takes work to set all that that's I mean, that's business, baby. Yeah.
It's just all we have is the Patreon on our show. All we have is talking shit and we get the Patreon and then every now and then YouTube blesses us and we have some ads.
Yeah. But we don't we don't have that type of tech.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, my headphones broke.
So I so I need to buy a new pair of headphones, but I said to my wife, I said, I'm going to buy you a new,

I'll take yours and I'll buy you a new pair of headphones

and I said, you can pick them up today at Best Buy.

It felt so good to buy my wife.

Yeah, but $100 pair of headphones.

That's right. What if I was making a million dollars a day

because I said Sandy Hook was fake?

Listen,

she'd be so happy, you know,

and she deserves it. Yeah, my sailboat's fucked up.
How about this? Yeah. You get a new boat.
You get the new boat. I'll take your boat.
I'll take the old one. Yeah, I mean, I was just watching it, and it is tough because obviously the family went through a lot.
It's unimaginable grief that they're going through. If my kid got killed and someone pissed on his grave, I would work it out with Alex Jones over the phone.
I'd say, give me 200 grand and we'll call it even. You know what I mean? We'll adopt somebody.
There was probably one family member who said, listen, why don't you just give me money directly? Yeah. Were they doing that? Were they pissing on the graves? People were, yeah.
Oh, my God. Which is like, okay, if the shooting's fake, then what? Then it's not even a grave.
Why are you doing that? It's not a grave, you idiot. No, it's not good.
Yeah. But here's the thing.
He's always been lovely to me. Sure, yeah.
This is not. Yeah, Anna and Dasha like him.
He's been lovely. It's very tough because he's like a very warm and caring man to me.

But I understand that this was a not good thing.

I'm not like that guy who thinks this was good.

Well, you got to make a few enemies.

There's going to be a few people that aren't in love with you.

You know?

I mean, that wasn't...

But he says he's like,

I was drinking and I was kind of out of Yeah. And I was delusional and stuff.
But they were very good at making that money, though. Sure.
Somebody was running the board. Yeah.
Somebody knew what was going on. Well, you're not making money off YouTube, so how do you gonna...
I mean, you gotta pay your bills. You gotta feed your family.
It's a great point. You know? It's a great point.
What do you do? Sell T-shirts? What's the best merch for you? For me? Yeah. Probably the hoodie.
Yeah. Good margins on that? The hoodie, you know? Yeah.
I mean, they're decent. We don't do a ton of merch.
We do some. We're good enough.
Yeah, yeah. But we're not like – it's not like.
You're not like Ian Fidance. Does he do a lot of merch? He's got like 30 different t-shirts, I think.
Oh, yeah, no, we just had like a few. They sold well.
Yeah. But I'm not a fashion designer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've never been a fan of like, I don't know, like doing a shirt a week or something.
Yeah, right, right, right. Where it's like you say something and then you're like.
I did that. I thought I picked a cool little design for our show.
And then people were like, you guys don't know your audience at all. This fucking sucks.
Right. Because we don't know how to design things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put out something.
The fake business was great. Everyone loved that with the Enron logo.
But then we put out stuff and people were like, I thought this would be a lot better. I'm like, why? Yeah.
Why would you think that? Yeah. What is that is that based on? My other line of clothing? What am I, a seven-year-old in Vietnam on Fiverr? What do you guys want me to do? Do you believe this Lizzo thing where she's out for good? No, I don't think so.
I don't know much about it. She's quitting because she says, I've had enough of people.
She goes, I'm getting tired of putting up with being dragged by everyone in my life and on the internet. And then look at all these celebrities that are like, oh, stay strong, girl.
Bravo Andy's like, stay so I can put you in a reality show and you can kill yourself. Yeah.
Andy Cohen puts people in reality shows where there's multiple people who've just committed suicide. He would treat her like Dumbo if he got the chance.
Oh my God. She'd open a Bravo clubhouse.
He'd open a big wood crate. And he's like, and here comes Lizzo.
But you're right. He just wants to have her on a show.
He just wants, she'll be the real housewives of Atlanta. They could replace three of them with her.
Yeah. So the whole season would just be two Housewives and then Lizzo fighting both of them.
Yeah. Just grabbing both of them by their throats.
Yeah. This doesn't make any sense.
It would be more, there would be more written if she was actually, that's just detention. She goes, I'm constantly up against lies being told about me for clout and views, being the butt of the joke every single time because of how I look.
Yeah. My character being picked apart by people who don't know me and disrespecting my name.
But that's just any type of level of anything. Yeah.
That's any level of fame. That's all of that.
Of course. That's anything.
Don't read it. I switch my Twitter notifications where you have to follow me for me to see your reply.
Right. And it's like like so much better yeah i barely go on anymore yeah yeah i barely go on i was on for years and you just get bored sure you get bored i'll go on sometimes and i'll go on for like a couple months and then i come off yeah i'll tweet for a little while then i come on it's just yeah as you get older it feels less i don't know well it's more fun now because it looks like Anthony Cooney is moderating it with the stuff that you.
Oh, that is hilarious. He's the new mod on X.
Well, it's wild now, right? It's crazy. It's just everybody, it's free for all.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
It just feels, I feel like you look at it and you get a real dark view of humanity and then you go outside and you're like, this isn't that bad. No.
So that's the problem with all these social media sites. Yeah.
It's the Bill Hicks joke about CNN where he goes, you look at it, and you're like, war, death, disease, famine, eight, and then you go out and it's just you hear birds. Yeah.
So it's kind of like, I don't know. But I feel, you know, listen, Lizzo, if I contributed in any way to her quitting, I apologize.
I don't know what to do. Sorry.
I do want to see the Bravo show starring Lizzo. Yeah, she's quitting for good? I don't think so.
Yeah, you're not quitting for good. You're coming back.
She'll have a podcast in two months. She should get hot and go alt-right.'ve said it many times That's the next phase

I mean hot's a relative term

But drop the LBs

Start talking about the border

You're in

Those people are loyal

Huge

She goes out at the RNC

And she goes I used to be a fat fuck

And now the only thing I think about every day

Is the border Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to sugar, addicted to food. She needs to get addicted to America's border security.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's all that can really happen there. Do you think about that stuff at all? Do you think about the migrant crisis and the border? I have no idea.
Sometimes, but if it's in front of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like if I read an article about it, or if I'm talking about it, I'll think about it. But it doesn't keep me up at night.
I have no idea who's a migrant and who's, I don't know. I don't care.
It's not, they're not doing anything to me. Yeah.
I mean, I think they got to figure it out. They got to solve it.
Yeah. But that's my surmise, that they got to figure it out.
They got to do something to secure the border and let people in, but figure out who they are first. There's ways to do it.
It's just chaos down there now. It just looks bad.
It's like if you had a store and then everything looked crazy. It should look bad.
Like down there, there's like TikToks telling people like, here's the hole you got to go through. And then all these people are like going through a hole.
And you go, this seems to show the TikTok border hole. And you go, well, there's got to be a better way than this.

Like, I'm not an expert, but there's got to be a better way than like, you know,

there's got to be a better way than just, you know, figuring out everything after the fact.

Yeah.

And I guess the people that live in these border cities, like the cities that live right on the border, it sucks. It sucks.
It's tough. Yeah.
Yeah. And I guess the people that live in these border cities, like the cities that live right on the border, it sucks.

It sucks.

It's tough.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because they're in, like, the line of fire.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, I mean, they got to just figure out how to do it.

But I don't know.

See, this is the famous—is this the famous hole?

Yeah.

Is a global destination.

Littered with travel documents from around the world. With the help of a translator, we learned a little about the Chinese migrants coming through.
They're coming through from Mexico? We talked to one guy who was Chinese. Yeah.
We also met a banker and small business owners. Yeah, they look, by the way, are these people migrants? They look great.
Yeah. Like, this is kind of hilarious.
Like, they do look really, if those are migrants, they look better than most people I know. Here's specifically the TikTok hole.
We wondered how all of these migrants knew about this particular entryway into California. One of them had an iPhone.
The answer was in We go through the hole on TikTok. You dumb white bitch.
Yeah, they're Chinese. They're doing a good job.
They're clearly doing a good job. Why are you surprised? Why are you shocked about this? It's not a bunch of Irish drunks taking selfies.
All right, all right. We got it, we got it.
Yeah, yeah. Well, they got to figure it out then.
They're making a little, uh... The Chinese should...
There should be a different way to do it so that people aren't going through a hole. But is TikTok the only social media app that they're learning that on? They could probably learn it on Reels.
Yeah. Everything on TikTok then goes somewhere else to the Reel or YouTube short.
Just makes me roll my eyes a little bit where they go, they're learning how to come into the country on TikTok. And they're already trying to ban TikTok.
Everyone learns everything on TikTok. Yeah.
Fun fact, there was no drug use in America before TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's where everybody learns how to die. Yeah.
We talked to this Indian Uyghur comedian who makes his money from TikTok. Most of his revenue is from people.
He does it in very orderly fashion. Most of his revenue is from people watching him say, how did you guys meet at a comedy show? What do you think about the, there's a new article in the Wall Street Journal where people are actually, and I think this is good, they're going back to like get real jobs.
It says Gen Z is becoming the tool belt generation. Like they're actually doing real jobs.
Yeah, that's probably good. Because when we grew up, people were like don't be a scumbag electrician.
Those guys make great money. Everybody was like, go after your dreams.
They're like, go after your dreams and then like go to college because the only way people will know you're not a dirtbag is because it was that attitude when we were growing

up.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Those guys with tool belts, they're all dirtbags.

You didn't finish college.

Yeah.

Because they're scum.

Yeah.

It was like an attitude.

Like it was never said, but it was always kind of implied that everybody that worked with their hands was like an illiterate adult. Yeah.
And that everybody who went to college was like a favored genius. And now we know that that's all bullshit.
That's all bullshit, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So a lot of people are like going back to be carpenters or plumbers.
Yeah, I think about my kid and like what kind of life I want for him and what direction I want to push him in, you know? And so, so part of me is like, yeah, if he goes into the trades, he'll, he'll make decent money, but he'll probably be a little racist. Yeah.
And then if, but if he goes to college, hopefully he goes for something that's like lucrative and not some like horseshit. There's a lot of stuff.
No one told us, but then I'm like, literally everybody said to us, like they were like, just go to college. It doesn't even matter what your major is.
Yeah. No one even told us.
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. I went for, I went for acting.
Yeah. They were like, as long as you go, I just went to community college and dropped out, but they were like, as long as you get a degree, as long as you get a degree, then you're safe.
Yeah. It was the biggest lie.
I know. It was just another way for boomers to go, yeah, yeah, yeah, go get out of here.
Yeah, yeah. That's all boomers ever wanted their kids to do is get out of their face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get out.
Just get out of here. Right.
Just leave us alone. We just want to drink on a cruise.
Just get out of here. Just go away for four years.
How about eight? Go to grad school. Yeah.
Your dad bought a new pizza oven He wants to play with Your dad's been making us these great pizzas Why don't you think about grad school? You get out of here for 12 years Yeah Get out of here for 12 years Yeah, I'm happy that people seem to be Like getting over this lie That like you should Yeah There's like a big lie That you should just go to college and for four years just... Just kind of fuck around.
Just kind of fuck around and every other week decide if you're trans or something and then come in and out of that. Right.
Or just get really drunk and commit a bunch of softcore rape. Yeah.
Yeah, just figure out which hormone you want to take take. You got to take something.
Figure out which online guru you want to shepherd you through the experience. Do you ever watch this woman? I really like this lady.
Find on my Instagram. Have you ever watched this woman who's kind of like a Wiccan chef? No.
You would kind of like this because we had a food podcast called Stewed many years ago. Yeah.
By the way, if anyone listened to, we would both be scrubbed from like every.

I guess people still tell me that.

No, it's hilarious.

Yeah.

It's the best.

Yeah, yeah.

But it's crazy.

It's just so funny.

I don't know if you go to the people I follow.

What is this bitch?

The Copper Pot.

Find it.

She's like a.

She looks like a witch, but she makes food on Instagram and no I don't know. She's a just figure it out.
She's some type of witch chef. I don't know.
She's like a weird like when you watch her she's like a medieval not medieval I don't know. It's a way to say it.
Does she cook from historical periods? Yeah, she makes really unhealthy things. But it's really...
She's really... Does she like cupcakes with gummy worms on them? No.
What the fuck is this? She makes like... She makes like skeleton cookies.
She'll make like a grilled cheese.

She'll make like a grilled cheese or something.

It's called the Copper Spoon.

Go to the Copper Spoon.

The underscore Copper Spoon 21.

She's a digital creator. I think you'll like her a lot.
Is she like a trad wife? No, I don't know what. She's like a witch trad wife, kind of.
Okay. So go here, go down.
Go down. Here we go.
Yeah, I had sex with her in 2013. Hello, traveler.
Welcome to the Copper Spoon. Today is a very special day because today is the very beginning of Home Chef Throwdown.
It's going to be an eight-week-long competition between me and 10 other chefs, all in order to raise money for an amazing organization called Lasagna Love. Let's get into it.
Week one, the kindness challenge. The hard sauce.
We all know love is kind. Yeah, because that's the whole thing.
They have use it because like ragu is sponsoring yeah go to one of her other things her other recipes where she makes uh yeah she's like hello traveler hello traveler welcome to the copper spoon hello my little spoonies let's make some portobello mushroom burgers this recipe is super super simple i am not vegan and I don't claim to be the best at imitating meat, but I will say that I think these mushroom burgers are absolutely delicious. So in a bowl, I just put some mushroom soy sauce.
She's like good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alright, we have. Yeah, AI could never do this.
Yeah. Yeah.
But she's like good. She has like the The cups, the bowls my grandmother had Yeah, she's like, and also I'm a witch She's also like, I'm a Wiccan, I'm a witch But she's interesting It's interesting the way, like she couldn't just What's brilliant about this channel Is if she's a regular cook, who cares Yeah, right But because she's like, hi you've stumbled into uh the witch's room you know what i mean but i like it i dig it i get it this is a job yeah yeah yeah this is what they didn't realize when they were telling us to go to college right like no yeah you should you should kind of be a wiccan right you gotta be like hey my wife and i areries.
Let me show you how to make an easy salmon bowl. Easy weeknight salmon bowl.
And you would think she'd make like healthy things. She doesn't.
She's like, she's like, welcome, traveler. Today we'll make a patty melt.
I'm like, ooh. That's great.
That sounds great. Like, go to that thing.
She's making it the first. Go up, go up.
Yeah, that. Watch this.

Oh, hello, traveler.

Look at this.

It's great to see you today.

How are you doing?

This, I just got done making a spicy meatball sandwich.

Okay.

Okay, great.

I think you'll do just one.

It's just hilarious.

It's like the music from Lord of the Rings.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's like, I have made a veal parmesan. We're making some Hobbit-sized mozzarella sticks.
For the little Hobbits in your life. You'll need a lot of sustenance on the journey to Mordor.
Mommy, I don't want to dress up like a Hobbit. Shut up.
I want to see my friends. Mommy explained to you, this is how Mommy makes her money to buy her toys.
If you like our toys, mommy makes her money like this. So you have to dress up like a hobbit.
And you have to get the bread from the oven and then walk it over to mommy. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, what are your other options these days? Not much.
They're saying van life sucks, not as glamorous as Instagram makes it seem, apparently. Sure.
There are people that have been convinced that the van life is a glamorous thing, which I don't know who they were. Yeah.
I knew a comic who— It looks fun. It looks like it's a fun weekend.
Yeah. I knew a comedian that lived in a van.
He hosted for me. Was it Jake Silverman? No.
Well, maybe.

Is he a Portland guy?

He hosted for me an American comedy

company a couple years ago.

He was a nice guy.

And he lived in a van.

And I went to go see it.

And it was,

you know. It was a van.

It's a van. It's tough.

Yeah. It's tough.

It's just not great.

But apparently no showers

There's... It was a van.
It's a van. It's tough.
It's tough. It's just not great.
But apparently no showers, no sleep. Van life isn't as cool as Instagram makes it seem.
It's all from the Wall Street Journal. All these articles are from the Wall Street Journal.
Wall Street Journal has been taken over over the last few months. And literally every article they've run has been like, Americans don't want kitchens.
Nobody wants a dining room. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nobody needs a din. Americans are skipping breakfast.
Yeah, all of that stuff. They're like, they're skipping dinner.
You don't need a dining room. They're just trying to move you into everyone lives in a storage facility.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it's getting to.
Like Americans would kind of prefer to live in storage facilities. It's like a 10-year project.
Yeah. The community that many Americans find in homeless shelters is better than neighborhoods.
You're like, oh, okay. They just ran one.
The Wall Street Journal just did one where it's like nobody wants to retire. What was the one I about on the last show It was a Wall Street Journal article It was like Do you remember what it was? You ever see that Simpsons where Sideshow Bob gets a storage unit He's like I have a question And the guy's like you want to live in the box It's like cost you two bucks a day Yeah but there was a guy that made a TikTok About living in a storage unit He was like I live in a storage unit It's.
It's great. I have a lot of space.
I get to do my sprints in the hallway. I get to work out.
Yeah. And I'm sure they kicked him out because he put it on TikTok.
Of course. Which is like.
Oh, the sociopath. Right.
They're like, it was a female sociopath. And they're like, and she wrote a book where she's just basically like, hey, we're out here.
We're sociopaths. And, you know, I'm now telling you that.
I don't know who that's for. Like, I question that on the show.
I'm like, I don't understand who's, like, what this does to people. Like, why this? But it's always like, so van life to me never seemed like it would be an amazing thing for long times, long periods of times.
Yeah. Well, I would see so many of these videos maybe two or three years ago, and the girl would be like, yeah, my dad's putting in the floors and the plumbing and the, you know.
But then it's like, okay, but what do you do? What's your job? It's always a fun desert landscape where the van is parked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They never show you. It's never Bushwick.
Yeah, they never show you just like it's parked in the parking lot of a checkers. Yeah, yeah.
You know? And then the employee at the checkers has to knock on the door and go, hey, we just don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We have to call. Like I don't want to call the cops on you, but I have to.
Like we were told like we have to call or we'll be fired if we don't call the police on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's never that. It's always like, oh, I just.
They're going to take away my van. Right.
Right. Right.
They're like, if you get busted, a lot of us live here. Yeah.
But they're always like by these beautiful desert landscapes. They're like, oh, you just stumbled upon a beautiful landscape in the desert.
Caleb Smith parks his home in Brooklyn, New York. Yeah, this guy Jake Silverman has a joke.
He's like, yeah, I lived in a van and I had sex with a few girls in the van. He's like, and you don't really think about

you don't really think of women as losers.

Yeah.

But you are if you have sex with me in a van.

I wonder if he was a guy.

Maybe he was a guy. I don't know.
He's like tall, kind of

curly hair. Yeah, I think maybe

it was. I don't remember.

He was a good guy. Nice guy.
He's a good guy, yeah.

You know, this is not

a

this is not a great

Thank you. I don't remember.
He was a good guy. Nice guy.
He's a good guy, yeah. This is not a great way to live, I guess.
This is what they're saying, which I never thought it was. I never thought it was.
What do they do for work? They get odd jobs or they do Fiverr or something? What do they? I think maybe Postmates, DoorDash, maybe things like where they're on the go.

They can use the car for work.

Some of them do, I guess, comedy.

I don't know.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a tough thing to travel around.

Yeah.

But it almost seems like some of the people that I talked to that did it were very into the idea of being free and not having any roots and not.

Because I think you could get a roommate and just be broke in New York

like a lot of people were.

Yeah.

You know, a lot of people are. Yeah.
But if you like this, you can do it. Well, it seemed like people were doing it because it was like the cost of living so expensive.
So maybe I'll live in a van. Right.
Maybe it'll help. But it wasn't really.
It also like this this article says this woman, her transmission died and they needed five grand to fix it.

Right.

Also, vans aren't as good as they were.

My mother had a Ford Econoline van with a bed in the back.

You could live in that.

Yeah.

That was like, do they even still make the Ford Econoline?

That was a legit van you could live in.

Yeah, we had a Dodge Caravan with the wood paneling. Yeah, those vans, like my mother threatened all the time.
She's like, I'll just go sleep in the van. Like when her and my dad would get in a fight, she'd be like, I'll just go live in the van.
He goes, fine, go live in the van. He goes, it's nicer than this shithole, the house we lived in.
He goes, the van's nicer than this dump. I would just be sitting there eating a cheeseburger quietly.
Yeah, dude, go to like a Ford Econoline van Like 1998 Ford Econoline These were the vans Yeah So hit image on that Yeah These are the vans You know Get the interior Get an interior Because the Sprinter van is too much The vans that you can stand up in That's a lot It's a lot It's a lot But I mean So this is like the van is too much. The vans that you can stand up in.
That's a lot. It's a lot.
It's a lot. But I mean, so this is like the van that, yeah, the Conoline van.
They had a bed in the back. You could live in the Ford Econoline van.
But again, it's probably not a great idea. Yeah.
This doesn't look good for Americans. This isn't great that this is in the Wall Street Journal.
It just shows you where everything is now, where the Wall Street Journal's writing an article. They're like, hey, you know that plan everyone had to live in the van? Yeah.
That's not as fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not as fun as maybe it's a shed. A shed.
Now, you're a parent. Yeah.
What do you think about hitting the kids? You know, I don't do it. I haven't done it yet.
You know, I'm hoping I never, like, snap. Yeah, because I don't lose Gomez, who's a friend of ours.
He's very, yeah. Anti-violence towards the children.
But pro-violence to other people all the time. Yeah.
Right? Which is interesting. Like the lady that works at Wendy's.
Right. Anyone.
You know? Yeah. Which I like about him.
I like nuance. Right.
Right. Right.
But there's a video here of, I guess, a grandpa defends hitting a child in Walmart who is mouthing off. I saw that.
And I don't know if this is a, I don't know how. It must have got to leave in the last hour.
I'll pull it out. Oh, can we find it on the dark web?

Just go to the fucking dark web and find this guy beating his granddaughter.

We need to watch something here.

I got to go to Belfast and entertain these animals.

Oh, I've seen this. Is it the guy with the red tie? Boy, I hope it is.
Granddaughter across the face. I smacked my granddaughter across the goddamn face because she was swearing in public and mouthing off to her grandmother.
He looks like he has a filter on. Post it.
I don't know. I don't know.
I got to be honest with you. I kind of like him.
Mm-hmm. What did he say? She was swearing? Smacked his granddaughter across the face.
I smacked my granddaughter across the goddamn face because she was swearing in public and mouthing off to her grandmother. Well, listen, no matter what you're doing, that is the correct reaction when someone takes their little camera out and starts filming you.
And just go directly and say exactly what you did. You go, I was buying child pornography to get it off the streets.
Yeah, that's right. Post it.
Put it on TikTok, motherfucker. Because you can't be embarrassed or anything.
You have to just proudly, no matter what. When they do the pedophile sting, when they go, oh, actually, no, I'm doing a sting on you.
Right. Because you're pretending to be a 14-year-old boy.
You're the one doing the crime. Right.
Not me. I'm the person who's arresting you.
I have the TikTok channel. You're the pedophile.
You're the pedophile. By the way, that's the future of America.
It's just guys with phones in wars going, you're actually the pedophile. You're the pedophile.
No matter what's going on, if you hit your wife, you've got to just very confidently be like, I hit my wife because that's the way our relationship works. Don't get involved.
I bet you're single. She just tamed me with a single person.
Is that right? We're a lesbian couple. Yeah.
Yeah. We're lesbians.
We like to hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lesbians do like to hit. Do they? Well, statistics.
I mean, again, I don't make the statistics. I don't put the numbers in the columns.
Sure. But the people that do find that some of them are.
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Do you like Boston Market? It's fine. It's closing.
A lot of it's... I feel like this has been happening for like three years.
I know, but it's really... It's dire now.
When I was a kid, when Boston Market opened... It was a big deal.
Well, it was a huge deal because this was like a way to get health food. Like macaroni and cheese, cream spinach, you know what I mean? Stuffing.
You get stuffing at 3 p.m. on a Wednesday.
It's health food. Boston Market was...
You've been eating Burger King too much. Anytime you wanted, you could have a Thanksgiving dinner.
This was the premise of Boston Market. Is that anytime day or night that you wanted to, you could sit down with your family for like $7 and have a Thanksgiving dinner.
Yeah. And Boston Market had some good grub.
My friend Rob worked there. And my parents would take me there after dance class.
I tell a famous story about it where I would sneak three sides. See how you get two sides? I would tell them to put cinnamon apples on the ham.
I would get ham. I'd get macaroni and cheese.
And then I would get either whatever, like cream spinach. That's why you're a millionaire.
And I'd put the cinnamon apples on the ham. Yeah.
And I would say that to them. And then once they didn't do it, they put it in the side.
And I just started screaming. I was in like my dance costume.
I was this little fat kid in the dance costume. And I started screaming, put it on the ham.
And I was crying. Put it on the ham! Put it on the ham! And then the African guy started to chant, put it on the ham! And then this woman, this manager walked over, she's like a white lady with glasses.
She's like, what's going on? I'm like, I want the apples on the ham! I'm like, it's not one of my sides. It goes on the ham.
She's like, okay. And they did like okay And they did it for me But I remember it was such a great That's what America's all about That's what it is That's what it is Because they got their hands in your pocket Everybody's got their hands in your pocket Well who are we ripping off here Who even owns this thing What What fucking vertical nightmare hedge fund private equity company owns Boston Market? Yeah.
Someone that's shutting it down. Engage Brand.
Oh, yeah, this guy. It's owned by Rohan Group, owned by Jignesh J.
Bandia. He took it over.
I was reading the article. He took it over, and he was like, I'm going to make it very good for everybody, and then just started shutting it down.
Yeah. God bless him.
I love an Indian scammer. Like, there was this guy, Sant Chatwal, who owned these hotels, the Chatwal Hotels, and they opened a restaurant called Romera.
This was years ago in, like, 2011. It was neuro gastronomy.
Yeah. It was food that was supposed to make your brain chemicals reactive.
It was such a scam and it tasted terribly and it lasted for like a few months. Yeah.
It was a great scam. Yeah.
Well, that's like those guys that work at the call center. They're probably all like middle class.
Which guys? In India. Yeah.
Right. The ones in Bangalore.
Yeah. Yeah, they probably have good lives.

Probably good lives. Yeah.
And we all feel bad for them. Well, our call centers here at Terrible, that documentary, the telemarketers, those guys that were raising money for the police.
Do you ever see that on HBO? Oh, no. Really good.
Okay. They just called people up and the people were donating to the police.
Play that trailer from HBO. These guys

who like

were like telemarketing and they were

all on like heroin and they were

calling up people and being like

hey

this is great. Watch this.

Great documentary.

Hey what's up?

Where are we going into? We're going into

Civic Development Group and what we do is we call up people and chisel them out of money. Money on my motherfucking mind.
Patrick and I both work at this telemarketing place. I was this 14-year-old kid making calls on behalf of charities.
It's like a big-ass cookout. Get money on my motherfucking mail.
I didn't think I was doing anything bad at all. Now Lisa, these families, they do need your support.
The business model is defrauding the most vulnerable in this country. It was a big time scam.
This is capitalism. Get money, money, money, money.
We need to show the world what this place really does. The media and the government haven't been able to stop them, so now it's up to us.
We've got to take them down from the inside. Yeah, so this was like, they had these telemarketing call centers where they would call people up and be like, hey, would you donate to the police? And a very small fraction of the money went to the police.
And most of it went to owners of the company. Yeah.
They didn't even pay these people really well. Just like the owners of the company.
Really? They would just call old people. They'd be like, do you, do you like the police? And be like, well, I do.
You know, some, one of them was shot and they go, oh no. And then they go, let's do a donation.
Okay. It helps the families.
And it was all bullshit. Then it was just, you know.
Deb took Benjamin to an Easter egg hunt this weekend, and it was like mobbed. And she was like, yeah, the rules said that you're only allowed to pick like three eggs per kid.
And some kids had like 12 eggs in their basket. And I said, what did you learn, Benjamin? It's a dirty world.
It's a dirty game, you know? Where was this hunt? In Brooklyn Heights.

Interesting.

Where all the poor people are.

You're right.

Millionaires.

Yeah.

No, but it's nice.

It's beautiful.

Over here is nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And what do they do with the eggs?

They just hide them and then the kids...

I guess they hide them and the kids find them.

And it was supposed to be three eggs per kid.

He didn't get any eggs, my kid.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, that's unfortunate. Yeah.
Because these

older kids are stealing eggs? Probably.

That's not nice, huh? Yeah.

But I said, you know, what'd you learn?

Are there... We gotta get our hands a little dirty.

Well, let me ask you a question. Do you think there are people

that are participating in that Easter egg hunt

that are not Christian? Probably,

yeah. I mean, it's Brooklyn.
Well, it shouldn't be

allowed. Yeah.
Because it's... Right?

Yeah. Right? Yeah.
Am I wrong?

I went with a whistle.

But if you saw...

Thank you. Probably, yeah.
I mean, it's Brooklyn. Well, it shouldn't be allowed.
Yeah. Because it's, right? Yeah.
Right? Yeah. Am I wrong? I went with a whistle.
But if you saw a kid that looked Jewish in the hunt, would it be wrong to go, hey, this kid looks Jewish and this is an Easter hunt? I guess technically it wouldn't be wrong. Maybe morally.
But yeah. I don't know.
It just feels like it is a Christian holiday, even though the Easter egg isn't part of the Bible, it does feel like. But I like the Jewish people celebrate our holidays.
I like that they enjoy themselves on Christmas and stuff. They go to the movies.
Yeah, some of that. Yeah, well, I like that they go to the movies.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. No, yeah, it's good.
No, no, there's nothing wrong with it. I'm just saying if Christian children are losing eggs.
Right, right, right. To atheists.
There should be more of a priority. Or Jews or whoever, Muslims.
I don't care who's ever in that hunt. Yeah, yeah.
Hindus. Yeah.
It should be a Christian hunt. It should have been more Christian hunt it should have been a Christian hunt in Brooklyn

sorry

can we separate the white Christian children

from the other ones

who are you

are you one of the organizers

of the hunt

no I bought this at Dick's Sporting Goods

by the way it seems to me

that there are some Orthodox Jewish children

grabbing Easter eggs

this is very confusing

we do not want this

Thank you. I bought this at Dick's Sporting Goods.
Yeah. By the way, it seems to me that there are some Orthodox Jewish children grabbing Easter eggs.
This is very confusing. We do not want this.
Yeah. This is an interesting story here.
Well, first of all, what is this Baltimore Bridge? What happened with that? I guess a boat hit it. It's not good, is it? They lost power.
The boat lost power. So the boat couldn't turn.
Yeah.

Okay.

Well.

But there was nobody on it except a few construction workers.

They did like an emergency shutdown.

Did anybody die?

Like six, I think six construction workers.

God.

It's a bummer.

Nobody was on the actual bridge.

No cars, no.

And it was lucky because there were cars going over it.

Yeah.

Like right a few seconds before.

Yeah.

Thank you. Nobody was on the actual bridge.
No cars, no. And it was lucky because there were cars going over it.
Yeah. Like right a few seconds before.
Yeah. That fucking sucks.
Now they're shutting down the port. The comedy clip? Well, no.
I think that whole port or something. They're doing something that's going to disrupt the flow of all the stuff that gets shipped in and out of there.
Yeah, yeah. A lot of crab.
Yeah. I don't know.
I don't know what's going. But there's bigger problems than just a bridge going down.
Yeah. There's other issues.
Well, it was probably an inside job to rename it, you know? That's probably exactly what it was. It's DEI.
People immediately were saying it was an inside job. There's nothing now that will happen where, as it's happening, people like it.
Like, as it's falling, inside job. There are TikToks of it as it's happening going inside job.
Like, let's wait for a little. They're going to rename it the Omar from the Wire Bridge.
I remember after 9-11, the McNulty Bridge. After 9-11, we waited, like, I think an appropriate amount of time.
It was, like, a year. And then, like, Loose Change came out, that documentary.
And then everybody was like, oh, something's weird. But that was after a while.
It wasn't like, I don't know. Yeah, I guess it's just like, I don't know, everybody's bored.
I don't know. There's probably some currency in that, right? To make up conspiracy theories.
That's what people got to do. For sure.
But maybe because some of them are right. The problem is some of them are right.
That's a problem with conspiracy theories. And you don't know which ones are which until too late.
Alex Jones. Perfect example.
Yeah. It's like anything.

It's like if you said, oh, there's an island of politicians having sex with kids, people go, you're crazy.

Crazy.

But then that's right.

And if you said, oh, there's a labyrinth of secret underground torture prisons where America's kidnapping people they think are in Al-Qaeda and torturing them, you go, that's crazy.

But then that comes out as true.

You say Obama killed Bernie Mac.

Right.

And then people go, you're crazy. But then they find out it's true.
Yeah. I'm a big Obama chef truther.
Yeah, I think me too. There's no way that guy just died.
I don't want to believe that. Yeah.
I want to believe they got him. Because he's hot and he was having sex with Obama.
That's what I want to believe. Yeah.
It's a better story. Yeah.
And it might be true. We did an episode about this on our show, but a lot of people who have worked for powerful people have died mysteriously.
They just die because they overhear something they shouldn't. Because they wake up one night, they go to the kitchen, they're like, let me grab some of that turkey, I'll make a sandwich.
You know what I mean? And then you see Bill and Hillary Clinton eating a baby in the living room, and then they kind of just look at you and smile and wave, and then you know, you're like, well, my days are numbered. Now I'm done.
The Clintons had a chef that Hillary Clinton ate his lamb chops at a restaurant. She was like, I want you to come work at the White House.
And then he went hiking one day and drowned in like six inches of water. Unfortunate.
Yeah. You just got to say no.
By the way, any political family wants you to do anything, you say no. Yeah.
If someone goes, I want you to walk the dog, he'd go, no, no, no. Yeah.
No, no, no. Such an honor to cook for you, Mrs.
Clinton. No, I have a condition where I get really horny when I'm around dogs.
I get angry. I have sex with dogs.
I have sex with dogs, yeah. It's part of my therapy to not do this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something about when you work for these political dynasties.
Yeah. Well, Marvin Bush, Bush's brother, had a nanny, and she went out to her car one day, and the car ran her over and killed her.
Yeah. Yeah, it's unfortunate.
It's unfortunate. But eventually, because he, you know, sometimes it's just as simple as that.
Because when he would answer the phone, he would go, hello, 9-11 brothers. We did 9-11.
He could have knocked her up. Like, there's all these weird things.
Like, people get killed for reasons we wouldn't even think. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean? Right. Like, everyone who's met the Clintons is dead.
People that shook their hand at a book signing in 1997 were found like, you know, they were killed by like fireworks falling on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, people died. People didn't know the Bushes.
There's people that know the Bushes that got, you know. I know.
That got shellacked. You gotta be careful.
The Obama chef. Yeah.
Did you watch that Patrick Bet David podcast episode with Anthony Weiner? It's the best. I love when he starts, like, naming people on the Clinton kill list.
What does he say? You're ding-a-ling? You're ding-a-ling. You took your ding-a-ling out.
Little boys are learning how to suck each other's ding-a-lings. Wait, what does he name?

Who does he name on the Clinton Killers? Can you get that out?

He just starts naming people. On the Clinton Killers?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny.

He just starts, yeah.

And Wiener's like, where did you get this info?

He's like, I got it from

partofthestorm, stillinthestorm.org.

It is true.

Maybe the Clinton Killers is all made up.

I don't know.

But I don't think it is.

There's got to be enough people.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's weird.

Well, I guess, who knows?

But it's also like everyone that kind of knows David Spade has died.

Right, right, right. So that's also like a thing.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you could maybe do that with a few different people, right? I don't know.
You don't think I can make a list of other people who are 70-something years old and say this person died, that person died, this person died? How come they haven't done that with Bush? She's in the same age. I have no freaking idea why they haven't done that with Trump.
So are you saying, do you agree with what I'm saying? How come they haven't done that with Reagan? This is like the best podcast. What point are you making about these men and women who you listen to? How is it so many people close to them die? How is it so many people close to them have...
People close to everybody dies. How is it so many...
Are you suggesting... Okay.
I'm asking the question is what I'm doing. You're asking a bizarre question.
Exactly. Did people die? Folks, Anthony Weiner had...
But this was so so funny because he starts the interview, he goes, so you are a very weird guy. I was on the show, and I liked him.
I liked Patrick with David a lot, but one of their questions was, what if we all caught a pedophile in Starbucks? They're like, you see a pedophile. Like, one of the guys asked a question.
They're like, you see a pedophile looking at child porn in Starbucks. I'm like, wait.
Like, what do you do? So I had a joke. I go like, I'm like, I get him to green light a show on NBC.
It's a fun joke. Then the other guy's like, answering it seriously.
Like, well, I don't want to hit him because then I go to jail. So I tell him.
So this pedophile you see leaves Starbucks, I tell him, I get in the car, I follow the pedophile. You know? Yeah.
It was an interesting, can you get that? I don't know if it's hard to find that section of the show, but it was just a very funny. Yeah.
What do you do? You see a pedophile. It's the craziest.
I'm like, wait, what? So I'm like on the line at Starbucks, and then there's a pedophile in front of me that is. Yeah, maybe this is it.
He has your balls. He has it.
This is good. I like the idea of the Democratic convention.
This guy? You're acting like a. I'm not assuming that he's gay.
Do you think America's ready for a gay president like this? What do you mean? We probably already have it. I don't know.
They're patching pedophiles in McDonald's. That's the most American...
Go to the middle. Go to the middle of it.
One in five Americans report... Okay.
Yeah. ...on the internet.
...60s is looking at girl pictures six years old, eight years old, ten years old. What do you do? I record him watching that and then I confront his ass.
I'm stepping to his ass. What do you do? Do we go back to 80s? I asked him to green light a show for me on NBC.
All right, there you go. But it's just like that was one of the, it's just an interesting question.

It's one of those questions you don't imagine you'll get.

Yeah, but we all have to answer it in our minds.

It should be a question they ask you on a job interview.

Yeah.

They go, okay, you sound great.

Like everything seems like you'd be a good fit here.

But let me ask you another question.

You're at Starbucks.

There's a guy watching videos of children having sex in front of you.

Yeah. What do you do? Yeah of children having sex in front of you.
Yeah.

What do you do?

Yeah. I step to his ass.

I go to the car.

I get my nunchucks.

I say to him, I challenge him for the honor.

I fight a pedophile. Yeah.
Well, if he bites you, you'll become a pedophile. I don't want to become a pedophile because I get bitten.
Detroit Teacher of the Month fired over rap, side hustle, records music video with students. The rap name is Drippin' Honey.
Why would they fire anyone who's working in a Detroit school? They should just be kept.

No one, by the way, if you're

willing to work in a Detroit public school,

you should not be fired, even if you're dating

one of your students. Right.

If you're willing to do that, you should just be kept.

Yeah. Teacher of the

month. Can we watch some of the rap?

I want to see. If it's not good,

then maybe that's why. It's probably good.

This is great. This is good, yeah.

These are all our'm in the A headed back to the DTE I'm big drip hoes CC me On another level but they really can't believe Caring these bitches cause I'm TTG It's FOE I should call this bitch just like me Give money that's a TIP I ran it up like yeah we gon' see Bitch I really got motion I put a nigga on Bitches chance not check this Watching every move every move. Bitch on the queen.
At the crib. Watch your cameras.
Bitch fuck your beat. Motown baby going crazy like the 80s.
Motown baby going crazy like the 80s. Yeah, all right.
So what? Yeah, the kids were the ones that edited it. Yeah.
What's the problem? That's the problem. I don't know why she was.
Did they have any. Why was she fired? A parent complained.
That she was rapping? That she was moonlighting her social media was inappropriate.

What else are these kids going to do after school?

This seems relatively wholesome.

Yeah.

You know, it does.

I mean, it's like.

Yeah.

I covered it and I've covered this case.

This case at Arizona where there's a bunch of rich white kids

randomly attacking people in the streets and they killed one of them.

You know, attacking other kids. They all look like that.
Right. I mean, not the top right.
He was in the streets and they killed one of them, you know, attacking other kids.

They all look like that. Right.
I mean, not the top right.

He was just the guy who was killed, but like, you know, so they're not right.

So you know what I mean? Is it like, are we, do we, you know what I mean?

It's like, we're firing it. Why don't we fire those teachers?

Why don't we fire the white teachers that let these kids play in football

games after they killed another kid?

Clip that

just so when I'm called racist next week.

Put that in the column of

things you can just send to people very quickly

when I'm called racist next week because I imitate

Leslie Jones.

Or something. That was such a good take.

You're right. Who do these people think they are?

They're like smoothie salesmen.

But it is true. It's like you can't cover up a murder if you own an Orange Theory gym.

That's not the way America works.

Yeah, yeah.

You can cover it up, but you've got to be like...

Literally, this is how little our parents cared about.

My friend Mike's mother, who I loved, she used to sit there with a house dress,

smoke a cigarette, and she's like,

You know, boys, when you leave this house, if you get in any trouble,

a fight, a DWI, or somebody gets you a drug,

She goes,

Thank you. You will rot in jail.
And she just smoked a cigarette. She goes, we take the phone off at 11 p.m.
She goes, so if you get in any trouble, you will rot in jail. She would say that every time we went out.
She'd go, you'll rot in jail. Yeah.
We'd go, all right. But these kids' parents tried to cover it up.
Mm-hmm. Your kid comes in, commits a murder.
You don't cover it up. Yeah.
You say you can't commit murders. Yeah.
But they tried to blame it on a kid with another similar sounding name. Mm-hmm.
Because one kid's name's, I swear to God, one kid's name's Talon. And the other kid's name's Talon.
But one spells it T-A-L-A-N. And the other one spells it T-A-L-Y-N.
Yeah. So they're like, we're going to blame it on the kid that has the Y-N.
I hate poor people. You know? I agreed.
Yeah. Middle class are disgusting.
But the kid with the Y-N is poor. But he might have done it, too.
We don't really know. No one knows.
I don't know. I like to think sometimes that I should be a parent.
But I don't know. I've been thinking about that.
Okay. Is there a thing where you can occasionally be a parent? Like, is there a program where you can kind of be a parent? It seems very, it's very, because I was talking with Annie Letterman, her friend of ours.
Yeah, yeah. Staying with me.
Yeah. We're talking about it.
I'm like, she should have a kid. Yeah.
You know? But she's like, but it's such a thing. I go, yeah, I know.
Yeah. She'd be fun.
Like the mom you see like once a month. Yeah.
Once every, yeah. Yeah, she's not, she'll be a fun mom.
Plus a year. Yeah, she would, yeah.
You know, she'd just be kind of a mom. She'd drop the kid off.
She'd be in like a fake leopard fur coat. Yeah.
You know, like a big old Cadillac. Yeah.
An old one. You can hang out with my kid, but it's kind of tedious.
The thing is, it's hard because I have a godson who's Chinese and he's fun, but you go oh you have to you know you really do have to care for them for a long time forever and ever. We went to the park yesterday it was very nice but we like stopped in front of the water and he just wanted to throw rocks in the water.
I was like okay this is fun I'm giving him rocks I'm throwing rocks but I was like I feel myself getting dumber having this experience. Right.
It's not very intellectually stimulating.

Well, I mean, he's still young.

It's not like coming here talking about pedophiles.

I mean, this is really.

Doing adult stuff.

Yeah, this is adult stuff.

Yeah.

I stepped to his ass.

I sweep the legs.

Sweep the legs.

I stepped to that man's ass.

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Investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments, LLC, an SEC-registered investment advisor. Investing involves risk, offers subject to terms and conditions.
UC Berkeley professor fired for telling students to get out of California if they want to find a girlfriend. Okay.
I don't know why. Why is that such a controversial? I think Berkeley should be a...
I used to think that Berkeley was like, you know, I don't know. They seem a little sensitive about stuff.
But this, I don't know, this seems little sensitive about stuff but this I don't know this seems very sensitive you'll be shocked by the stark differences in behavior of women in places where women are plentiful versus their behavior within artillery distance of San Jose and San Francisco Andrew Tate was hired by Berkeley look at this guy I like he's kind of a foppish Andrew Tate. I like that.
Berkeley's Andrew Tate. Why fire him though? I don't know.
I mean, I understand he's expressing an unpopular opinion. Yeah.
Here's the thing about teachers. When I grew up, no one listened to them.
Yeah. Right.
Like, no one, like, people would say shit we didn't agree with all the time. That's the point.
They would just say weird shit, and we'd go, all right, that doesn't seem. Yeah.
Like, one of our teachers was like, you just choose to be gay. That's the way it is.
And everyone kind of laughed at him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was like a weird guy. We were like, all right, he's just an older, weird guy.
He's like, you make a choice. He goes, you choose everything in life.
He's like, everything. Everything you do is a choice.
To be gay, that's a choice. Everyone laughed.
Would you say to that teacher when you were late for class that one time? I forgot. She was like, if you're going to get a job, you can't walk in late to your job.
And you were like, well, I'm going to have a real job, not like a teacher.

No, I said I'm going to have a real job.

I'm not going to be like an English teacher.

So I said I'd be more motivated to show up to that.

And then I was sent to the dean.

I was always sent to the principal because I would mouth off to these nothings.

My father hated them too. That's why if I wasn't a comic, I would have been a failure

because my father had no respect for Thor, but should have.

Yeah.

Like, should have, but didn't care at all.

Yeah.

When the teachers would go, your son talks in class,

and he watches TV, he watches Arsenio Hall,

and that comes on at, like, 11 p.m.

My father would go, well, he sneaks downstairs to watch.

We don't.

I'm asleep.

Yeah.

And then one teacher goes, he likes this woman, Amanda.

Is that his sister? And my father goes, no, she's a character on Melrose Place. They're like, is that appropriate for him to watch? My father's like, I don't know.
He said in the parent-teacher conference, my mother said, they go, is Melrose Place appropriate for a third grader to watch? My father goes, I don't know. It's on TV.
Yeah. What do you want me to do? Yeah, he's going it He's gonna see it Yeah What's scary for me Is all the YouTube shorts My kid loves watching YouTube shorts Oh really? Yeah He's gonna get you one day On the short? Yeah Daddy Ew Daddy Daddy He's gonna say 3.3k Yeah You're gonna be like Benjamin your curfew was 11 p.m.
It's 12.45. And then he goes, you were insufficiently supportive of Israel.
And then you go, you just have nothing to say. You're like, all right.
Yeah. Yeah, we all make choices.
Yeah, you're right. I guess so.
Yeah, I bet on the wrong horse. Just try to get in by one next time.
People should watch your special right now. It's a hilarious special.
It's on YouTube, the Out for a Smokes YouTube channel. Thanks.
Subscribe to... Where can people find your dates? You have a website? People go to your Instagram? Yeah, microsteincomedy.com.
I'll be in Chicago. I don't know when this comes out, but this Wednesday, April 3rd.
I don't know. We'll come out this week.
We'll put this one out this week. And then we'll put out, we got Jessica Kirsten.

I'm in Europe right now.

Nice.

Supposedly.

I'm going to Europe next month.

Yeah.

You know.

That's how I feel.

I'm kind of.

Yeah.

I want to go to Minneapolis for one night.

I want to go jerk off in a hotel room and fly home the next day. Yeah.

It's such an undertaking.

Yeah.

To go to Europe.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah. To be like, they're such a undertaking to go to Europe.
Yeah. You know? Yeah.

To be like, they're like,

great, another fat American

walking through our streets.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know?

Who has, like, you know,

some level of a tiny, teeny bit

of notoriety. Yeah, you're not going to improve their perception.

A certain corner of the internet. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's fun to do, but it's just,

I don't know. I don't feel, I'm not in a Europe mood.
You need to be in a Europe mood. Like that basic white girl kind of like, Right, because what's over there that you can't do here? What do they have that we don't have? I don't know.
That we don't have. Food that's not poison.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's better for you.
It's nice. Walk around new areas.

But if this comes,

why are you putting up the dates?

It's over ready if this comes out.

Oh, let's put on Mike's dates.

Okay.

Chicago, New York, Amsterdam, Berlin.

Wow.

You are going over.

Yeah.

And Charlotte.

Go see Mike.

He's one of the best.

Find our old podcast, dude.

Yeah.

Make it big.

I'm happy with the special.

I'm getting good.

It's great.

The best text I got was from Dan St. Germain, and he was like,

he goes, the special's great, man.

I would put you above even me as a stand-up right now.

Oh, wow.

Well.

Why don't we calm down?

And then he hears, phone privileges are over.

A guard comes and takes it from him. Phone privileges are done.
He's also, his special's out too. His Go Watch Dan St.
Germain special is really funny. Dan's great.
He's also one of the funniest people. We hope to get him on soon.
It's just funny that everything's like a direct competition with him. It shouldn't be.
No. It shouldn't be.
There's enough to go around. We're all just going to thrive on our own timeline.
There's a lot of fun to be had by all. Yeah.
You're going to get very sick someday. Of course.
I'm going to absorb some of your... I'll absorb some.
You'll absorb some of my fans. I think I'll die suddenly.
You think? I hope. Yeah.
That's the hope. Isn't that the hope for all of us? I guess, yeah.
It's the hope you just, one day you're just not there. Like you're just driving and it's like that.
I hope I kill a bunch of people. I also die.
Yeah, yeah. But it's like a very kind of like, it's like, oh, you know, it's like, when you go, how do you die? They go, oh, well, you kind of it's a road rage.
You plowed down a bunch of people. But yeah, then you get some of the fans, some of the people that came over after the road rage incident.
Like a bunch of people are dead, but you're also dead. Yeah, of course.
It's like... It's whatever.
I don't know. People, it's so weird now.
You're checking the views on your video. Did you hear that the kid who went to fight for Israel died? It's like he was like an American kid and he goes, I'm just going to go fight for Israel.
And he died. It's like people just.
Yeah. But he believed in something.
So that's nice that he believed in a thing. It's good to believe in something.
That much that he just said, I'm just going to give my life because I believe. Yeah.
We don't believe in anything like that. It would be very hard.
Outside of your family, your friends, your own physical safety. Like, imagine, like, the countries at war and, like, Chris DiStefano and me are on the phone, like, trying to justify going to fight China in the Taiwan Strait.
Yeah. Like, I just, no one's up for that.
No. No one's up for that.
No. No one's doing that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a bummer that anybody does. Yeah, it's just none of our friends would be like, we're doing it.
I'll step to his ass. That's when you need that guy.
The guy who'll step to his ass. China.
Tell them China's a whole country of pedophiles. We got a big pedophile.
They're trying to take over Taiwan So they can produce child porn Well I'll step to his ass

I'll be right there

I'll be right there

Out for Spokes Pod, Microscene Special

Go support him, thank you folks, goodbye