The Snooper and The Judge: Friday, May 2nd, 2025

Support for this podcast comes from Progressive, America's number one boat insurer.

We've all made mistakes on the water, but there's one mistake you shouldn't make: being uninsured.

With Progressive Boat Insurance, you can choose coverage for most mistakes you or other boaters could make, helping you float care-free all season long.

Quote today: Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, number one rating based on boat market share data from ratefilings.com.

Why choose a sleep number smart smart bed?

Can I make my site softer?

Can I make my site firmer?

Can we sleep cooler?

Sleep number does that, cools up to eight times faster, and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side, your sleep number setting.

It's the sleep number biggest sale of the year.

All beds on sale, up to 50% off the limited edition smart bed, limited time.

All sleep number smart beds offer temperature solutions for your best sleep.

Check it out at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com today.

Good morning, girlies.

It's the toast.

It's Jackson Claude and we're your host.

It's your favorite show.

The fast-five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly.

It's the toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Friday.

Friday dairies.

Friday.

Friday.

Yay, that it's Friday.

Yes.

Another conclusion to a hard delicious, definitious week, actually.

Kind of not to be dampering the mood.

Kind of coming to an end on one of the last few weeks of toasty realness before maternity leave.

Wow.

Not to dampen the mood, though.

Well, I have been wanting to bring up sort of the elephant in the room, right?

I am taking maternity leave.

I, I don't know if I've mentioned, I'm kind of with child.

Um, and we've been making lots of plans.

And I feel like I, I want to talk about it more.

I feel like it's this thing we're all circling the drain on, but I want to assure the listeners like of the fabulous plans we have for them.

It's true.

I was just going to sort of like drop you into fabulosity, eyes wide shut, but we could go into it eyes wide open, sure.

Well, I think everybody knows that the month of June is going to be like a fabulous time.

Shakyo and Friends is what we're calling it.

I'm Jennifer Shager.

I'll be talking to my friends.

Influencers, podcasters, reality stars.

She's got some really fabby people lined up.

She's going to be in New York and Florida with people.

So I'm not worried.

But I think a lot of people are like, okay, well, July and August, the toast is off.

Like, where are my girls at?

And actually, we've kind of, we've kind of nailed it.

Like, you're going to be okay, ready?

We're always right here for you.

Yeah, we like to be dramatic.

We're really not going anywhere.

So July and August.

We will be putting out more content than the average podcast.

Yes.

So July and August, you will be getting two two episodes a week.

One of the episodes is going to be the vast five, you know, your usual toasty episodes on Patreon.

Yes.

Because this is a place of business.

And then your second episode of the week, we did this a little while ago and people really seemed to love it.

It's a series we're calling Toast Herstery, a re-watch, re-releasing of some of our most iconic episodes.

I know we have a lot of new listeners.

And actually, there was a TikTok going around.

I meant to send it to you of a girl being like, I have seen the TikToks.

I want to join the Toast, but like, I'm scared.

Do I just like jump in?

Do I have to start somewhere?

And people were like, just start, you'll figure it out.

But there is so much lore.

There's so many jokes.

So, over the summer, every week, we are going to be re-releasing iconic episodes.

We did that most recently with our Robert Flatts episode because that's like people's favorite moments from the Toast.

And a lot of people don't know it.

A lot of our jokes come from these iconic physical therapy moments.

So every week, we will also be re-releasing on the regular App Store, not App Store, Patriot.

App Store.

App Podcast app.

Thank you.

Spotify, and Stitcher, and Stitcher.

Of course, um, iconic episodes that made the toast what it earths, you know, the turst made the turst what it ears.

It's true.

So, the summer is gonna be really fun, and I'm excited to do it.

You'll be good.

I'm excited to do weekly pop culture episodes because they're literally gonna be five hours long.

I know.

Um, and then we could have just like broken it up every hour and at least one every day, but sure, we could have.

And I'm excited for maternity leave.

So, maternity leave and like Jackie O and Friends officially starts right after Memorial Day.

Tuesday after Memorial Day, I'll be in New York with guest co-hosts.

We've got some great people lined up.

And then I have people in Florida and it's really shaping up to be Aparchy Month.

I'm very excited to put on my Diane Sawyer pants.

And you know, I feel conflicted because like every time I see it in our chat, like, oh, so-and-so confirmed.

I'm like, obviously happy for the business, you know?

I'm sad for me.

Like, these are going to be great episodes that I'm not a part of.

You know how much that kills me.

Yeah, but you could just maybe watch them.

Maybe you'll enjoy them.

And you get to like, you'll be able to like backdoor submit questions if you have some for the person.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is something that you wanted to know.

So I just wanted to assure everyone, like, we are taking this matter very seriously.

And it's going to be a great couple of weeks and months.

And then Labor Day, we're back like usual, girly, swirly, energy.

Remote podcast, the usual.

That's what it'll be.

I'm very excited.

You know, I love change.

I love switching it up.

I do.

I love switching it up.

I think it's going to be so great.

Kumza Fresh.

I know how you feel.

Like,

not in terms of loving change, but like, I feel like now I understand.

It's like hard when people love something without you.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I'm not looking forward to it.

Because I know they're going to love it.

I'm sure there's going to be a lot of balance of like, we miss Claudia.

Yeah.

But see, when people say we miss Claudia, like it's so nice, right?

But it also makes you feel a little bit bad.

So like, I don't, I don't, maybe don't say it.

Oh, okay.

You know, because I'm like, well, maybe I should be back at the toast.

I understand, but no, you have to do what's best for you.

You have to listen to your body and you need to like give yourself space to embark on this new chapter.

Like it's

one of, if not, it is the biggest thing that you will do as a human life.

A thousand

a couple weeks of

this toast

while we chit chat with some other people, give some people some shine.

Oh, you know, that kills me too.

I know.

Okay, I shouldn't have said that.

Giving other people on my platform.

Yeah, like

that we like, yeah.

We literally have like bled power with the electricity and like we are like powering the windmills.

I'm on the bike.

My bicycle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I know.

Sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that.

Yeah.

I have to tell you a funny story.

Maybe, maybe they too could shine their light on us.

Well, wouldn't that be nice?

I have to tell you, I was out to dinner last night and I did, you know, I walked.

And on my way there, you know, celebrity things, I ran into a couple of toasters and I ran into this toaster leaving leaving the grocery store.

She literally was just walking out with true fruit.

Like, that was, she didn't even have a bag.

She just like bought the true fruit.

And I was like, oh, true fruit sounds so good right now.

She was with her boyfriend.

She was like, Do you want it?

You can have it.

And honestly, the sealed bag, brand new.

I was going to dinner, so like it wouldn't make it home unlike frozen, you know.

But did you take one out of the bag?

I didn't because it wasn't opened yet.

But like, it was one of those decisions that you have to make in a split second.

Was it even your preferred flavor?

Yes.

It's dark chocolate.

It's dark raspberry.

Dark chocolate raspberry.

Speaking of true food, they followed me on Instagram yesterday.

So obviously like something's going on at True Fruit HQ.

Maybe the girl worked for True Fruit that I met.

Maybe.

Or we're just so like embedded with True Fruit.

I love True Fruit.

I've been down on my True Fruit game.

Well, the thing is, and I was just having this conversation with a friend.

I'm running out of time.

I only have so much time left to like continue eating whatever I want.

And while I love true fruit 1,000%, it's definitely like an indulgence for when you're dieting.

It's It's like if I could have anything in the world, which I'm eating anything I want these days, like I'm not picking up the true fruit.

Right about dinner.

But

what's so amazing about it is that like you can pick it up when you're being quote unquote healthy and it's fabulous.

It's a very good option.

But these days, no, I'm not picking it up in the freezer.

It's just not,

it's not.

No,

I think that's fair.

Yeah.

So it reminded me and I was like, in that moment, I'm like, do I take this poor girl's bag of true fruit and like munch on it on my way to dinner?

I was so hungry.

And her boyfriend was like, really, take it.

They really wanted me to have it.

I almost felt bad turning it down.

Yeah.

But ultimately, I didn't.

No.

You should have opened the bag and took one and then continued on your way.

So like ruined her snack, like putting my dream hands in it.

Literally, she could have plucked it.

But I had boiled to eat from her hand.

She was at the grocery store like holding that card.

No.

No, and then like her bag is open on the way home.

Do you know what I mean?

It wasn't a perfect.

I perfect actually.

But yeah.

It wasn't a perfect situation.

I understand.

Well, she did that toaster.

Shout out to the generosity.

And if you ever see me in the street, feel free to offer me food, you know?

No, don't.

Don't take food from the street, Claudia.

I actually, yeah, I do have a policy not to eat, not to eat a street off the floor.

Street off the floor.

I'm having a really hard talking day, you know?

Yeah, terst.

Yeah, like I can't pronounce things.

Even though, like, you could have said, I meant it like that.

We are the terst.

And we are.

I did.

I did try to play it off like I meant it.

Did you not?

It's not a good job, but you're already ready there.

I'm having a really hard like pronunciation and sentence forming kind of day.

So it'll be an interesting podcast episode.

It will be.

I have been reading for the last 24 hours straight, the Lucy Score book.

And it's so adorable.

Like it's totally like Lucy did not flop.

Like it's the elk of like you should read it so far.

It's just like really cute.

I like the characters.

There's funny banter.

I've chuckled a couple times.

Like that's what you want out of it's Lucy Lish, your romance novel.

I'm recording with the girls today and I'm excited to like break down the novel in a book club format because

there's not that like much there there,

but I think it will be fun.

I think it will be funny.

And speaking of books, did you see me in the press?

Is that that bitch Miley who had a lot to say about me in the press the other day?

Yeah.

Did you see me in the press?

Yeah, Jackie's hosting.

What are you doing exactly?

Not hosting.

I'm part of a judging panel for a

story contest.

The novelry is running a story contest with a $100,000 prize.

This isn't like an ad or anything.

And they selected 10 celebrity judges who are like who are involved in the literary space.

A lot of authors like Carly Fortune and then like literary influencers like myself and Emma Roberts, Osha Mammet.

10 judges.

We will be judging the story contest and awarding someone $100,000 for their story.

So it's like kind of a big deal.

There's never been a prize money this big in the story writing sphere.

That's honestly to be seen for your passions must be an amazing feeling.

No, it is.

It's like, I'm so excited to read all the stories and to share my thoughts and get together with my fellow judges.

And I just wanted to shout it out because, like, if you're an aspiring writer girly,

submit it.

Is it over?

Like, you could still submit.

We're judging in October.

Like, it just started.

They just announced it.

That's why I was in the press yesterday.

I can use 100 grand.

Maybe I'll submit a story.

So the platform's called The Novelry.

It's actually a website where you can like take

writing classes.

And they are the ones running the contest.

So if you like are a writer, get in there.

Carol Radzwell.

The novelty.

That's cool.

Like, I feel

like

reading is obviously a passion of yours.

It's a part of your online persona.

So to be seen and sort of selected for something you're not like, we're known mostly for pop culture, right?

So to be seen for your secondary interest, it must be an amazing feeling.

And like, I was selected because of being an an influential reader, but also being an author myself, the camper and the counselor.

I'm the only children's book author on the panel.

So I really feel excited about that.

So she checks a box

for sure.

Oh my God.

It's just lots happening here.

Exciting things.

Jack's coming to New York soon.

I am.

We're going to be doing Toast New York episodes together.

That's why May is just going to be such a fun month, like different every day.

Like I feel like April was very steady.

We were here.

We were sat.

Jackson Claude.

Right.

May every day will be different.

And I personally, um,

you know what?

I take it back.

Oh, speaking of May Day, it's my husband's birthday.

Oh, you know what?

That was on my list of things to talk about.

Shout out to my husband for is your rose your husband today?

Is my rose is my husband today and every day, but especially today.

It's a bigger rose.

So we're going to have a really fun weekend celebrating.

I feel like today this Friday feels less like a part of the week and more like a part of the weekend because I'm just like thinking about like how we're going to celebrate the things we're going to do.

We have some fun plans.

I actually, like my gift is being installed today for him.

I'm really excited.

It's a cold installed?

Oh,

you mean the cold plunge you got a year ago?

It's been in my garage because I like didn't know how to install it.

Like the setup is the, is the gift?

Like the thing?

Yeah, like that he will have now a cold plunge that is active.

Because he knows that there's a cold plunge in the garage.

He does.

And that was like meant to to be the gift for him i got him a cold plunge but now for his birthday this year i'm setting we're installing it next year we're gonna put water in it

no i got him like seriously a state-of-the-art cold punch from stun home so where are you gonna put it

um

in my backyard like obviously in what area you mean not the living room yeah like in what area um you know like tucked away has to be somewhere where there is waterline and electricity so that like and shade do you need shade you don't need shade and also all areas of the backyard get shade at a different point of the day so if you want but it could be nice to be in the sun while you're in the cold plunge it actually could be really nice yeah but does it make the water warm no and not if you like get in right at the right there's like a temperature it's state of the art coach

well my husband

will be at your house all the time i think like everybody's going to be coming to my house to use my cold plunge i think so too and that's exciting and i might plunge a little

you should I like to say fuck.

Okay, literally, Miranda Cosgrove.

I like plunge.

The way I so relate to her in that moment.

Like, so many times I'll say something, and I really feel like Miranda Cosgrove.

Cosgrove.

I like to say.

I see you're also having a bit of like a challenging day when it comes to sentence forming.

Why?

What did I say?

There's just been a couple of sentences.

You've had trouble for me.

I didn't want to call it out, but now it's like, I kind of feel like we're on the same wavelength today.

Maybe you're having like sympathy.

things maybe

but um i think i kind of like slayed my attribulation

okay

i'll be the judge of that

of course you will and i'll be the judge of the novelry

oh yeah oh we can't talk to her now she's like a judge you know a celebrity judge you gotta you have your gavel like you're a judge no i'm i am a judge like i think your gavel might be here at my studio it is but i will be a kind and judicious judge i do believe we should dive in because we have stories.

We also have Queenie and Weenie of the Week, which is my favorite day of the week.

Congratulations to the New York Knicks for winning the game last night.

Unfortunately, that means they're progressing to the next round.

And like, now I'm going to have to spend the next couple of weeks trying to convince my husband to stay home.

And then I'm going to have to be like, oh, yeah, Carl Anthony Town's historian woods.

Like, I don't know if you guys want to hear that story five more times.

We're all good on it.

However, what could be an interesting development, like, is there a world in which the Knicks are in the finals and you're giving birth and your husband has to choose?

Yeah, I guess.

Oh, choose?

No.

What if he got like courtside tickets to the seventh game of the finals Knicks championships and you're going into labor?

And the Knicks asked him to put on a jersey and get in the game.

He still wouldn't be allowed to go.

He would have to choose.

I thought you were going to say, is there a world in which like we're in the hospital and the game is on?

Yeah.

That's so party.

That's like we watched the Super Bowl.

Harry was born on Super Bowl on Sunday.

Exactly.

So it's Tim TV, but

I mean, if the Knicks are still in, and they're about to play the Celtics, like, sorry, they're out in three games, like four.

Is there a world in which in like in a couple of weeks they're still in?

It would be miraculous, yes, but it's possible.

Yeah.

So he might be feeling conflicted.

Do I watch the birth of the

son or, you know, me and the Brunson boys?

Ben has like this group chat.

It's called the Brunson Boys.

And is Jara Brunson in it?

It's about Jalen Brunson.

Oh, he's not in it.

He's, no, he's like the theme.

Okay.

It's a thematic title.

And whenever something's happening, he's like, I got to tell the Brunson boys.

I'm like, okay, gay boys.

Like,

they're like,

no, and they're like in the chat, like, OMG, these refs suck.

I'm like, you guys are some of the biggest losers I've ever read in my life.

But it's all in good fun, you know?

A little nomination for Weenie of of the Week, the Browns.

Yeah,

honestly, they are worthy.

Even though I think we should be encouraging like male chats about fun, you know, Congress topics

agreed as opposed to like four sums.

If I ever like snoop through Ben's phone, which I definitely do, like every now and then,

the Brunson,

yeah.

That's interesting.

I didn't know that about you.

Mostly, not like looking for anything salacious, mostly because like, I just like to see how my husband talks.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, how he's representing himself to the world.

Yes.

And I would say every single, like, Ben's snooping on Ben's phone is so uninteresting because none of these numbers are saved.

They're all like random distributors.

It's all Spritz stuff.

So, it's low-key boring.

Um, but then when I see a familiar name, I'll like look.

It's not interesting, but I just like to know what he's like forward-facing.

I know my Ben on the inside, but how does he act to other people?

And you're okay with what you see.

Yeah, it's mostly boring, like business.

Does he know that you snoop?

Well, that's not what he does.

Yeah, no, I'm not ashamed of it.

We have no secrets.

Like, I feel like it's mostly when I'm on his computer.

Oh my god, let me just see what's going on.

Yeah,

it's not snooping.

I can't explain it.

Snooping has like a

subtext.

I just like to know what my husband's getting into.

He's such an anomaly to me.

He is not an anomaly, that man.

He wears a scarred on his sleeve.

It's true, but

how does he, what does he wear on his sleeve to other people?

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, I do.

Maybe we'll cut that out.

Nah.

He won't.

No,

I have nothing to hide.

Like, seriously, if he, if he has nothing to hide.

Okay.

But to be clear, like, he can't go through my phone.

No, there's girly stuff.

There's girly stuff.

Yeah, super girly.

Especially these days, there's like pictures of my toilet paper.

Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We are not the same.

Well, speaking of your toilet paper, let's get into the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are brought to you by the new Huggies Snug and Dry.

They are luxuriously soft and ultra-dry.

So how soft are we talking?

We're talking unbelievably soft.

We're talking irresistibly soft.

It's grease lightning.

Your baby deserves a diaper that is so gentle on their tushy.

Baby's bottom is just one of the most like important things on earth and we must protect them.

And I think Huggies really understands that.

So

the Huggies Snug and Dry Diapers help you experience unexpected softness and up to 100% leak protection of the Huggies Snug and Dry Diapers.

Jackie, can you just share a little bit of an anecdote of how surprised you were when you experienced the softness of the Huggies Snug and Dry Diapers?

So, yes, the softness is impeccable.

You only want to be putting the softest things on baby's bottom.

So it is important.

You don't want scratchy.

You don't want thin.

Like you want

to be indulgent.

They are sensitive.

And they're just, they're coming from the comfort of the womb, right?

So you can't just now hit them with a, with a scratchy old diaper.

No, you want the best.

Plushies, what we say, cozy.

We love cozy.

Cozy.

The huggies diapers are cozy.

There's something where I'm seeing your kids saying, my tushi hurts.

Oh my God.

It's like, seriously, burn the diapers.

Right.

Well, not Huggies, Snug and Dry.

More parents are choosing the new Huggies Snug and Dry Softness versus the leading premium diapers.

So check out the new Huggies Snug and Dry.

Huggies, we got you, baby.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Vivrelle.

So the first of its kind luxury accessories members only club.

They provide members access to borrowed designer handbags, jewelry, watches, and diamonds.

So when you become a Vivrel member, you can treat yourself to their closet and treat it like your own.

You can borrow anything within your tier.

Vivrel has no return dates.

You can swap items once per month, keep items for as long as you'd like.

Memberships start at $45 a month.

I have to say, Vivrelle is the most genius thing.

Like, I can't believe I didn't think of it.

So many designer bags are so fab, but so trendy.

So you don't obviously want to invest in them because in a year, you're like, why did I buy this stupid bag?

But if you're a Vivrelle member, membership starts at $45 a month and you can be walking around with like a $5,000 bag for like the two months that it's cool.

And then you can give it back and no harm, no foul.

You literally spent $45.

It's just amazing.

And they actually have...

premium bags like designers chanel they have proda bags they literally have everything they also have amazing jewelry like fine jewelry it's one of the best investments i was just talking to taylor strucker i was like you need to become a vivrelle member like it's seriously the best thing in the world i'm rocking a chanel bag from vivel right now that i would seriously never buy it's just like a little nutty

Meanwhile, I've had it for like three months.

I love it.

And it's just Vivrelle memberships are so flexible.

They're not like nuts.

Like, you got to send it back.

Like, sometimes I'm itching for a bag and it's so great to take it for a spin on Vivrelle because I've had an experience where I've had my fun with it and I've been like, you know what?

I'm satiated.

I don't need to buy this bag.

But then sometimes I have an experience.

I'm like, oh, I need this bag the whole time.

And you can keep it for a really long time until that feeling wears off or it inspires you to buy it.

Go to vivrel.com, apply for a membership today using our code Toast.

It'll get you 30% off four months of membership.

The code will also allow you to skip the Vivrell waitlist.

So head to Vivre L L E.com, use our code Toast for 30% off four months of membership.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Caraway.

So

Caraway's non-toxic cookware is really bringing peace of mind to swirlies around the nation.

When you're cooking for your family, you're cooking for yourself.

It's important to know like what, what's going on, you know, what, what, what, what's the underlying issue here?

And Caraway

is so worth the investment.

It's non-toxic cookware.

Over a lifetime, a person consumes at least the equivalent of the height of the Eiffel Tower in microplastics.

97% of Americans have PFAs, toxic chemicals from their non-stick cookware in their blood.

Well, two and a half minutes is all it takes before a nonstick pan overheats and releases toxins.

And Caraway is actively.

Acting against that.

Like you have Pargi pans that are so cute and aesthetic, but they actually are making high-quality food and they're easy to clean and they're not like leaching toxins into food that's feeding your family.

Come on.

As a reminder, their iconic cookware set comes with the saute pan, the fry pan, the Dutch oven, and the saucepan, plus lids for all of them, a canvas lid holder, and a magnetic pan rack for storage.

It's the ultimate kitchen setup.

It'll save you money versus buying all the items individually.

Plus, when you visit carawayhome.com/slash toasty10, you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase.

Great time to use our code with Mother's Day coming up.

This is a really nice gift.

The deal is exclusive for toast listeners, so visit carawayhome.com/slash toasty10 and use our code toasty10 toasty10 to check out caraway.

It's non-toxic cookware.

It is, of course, made modern.

Thank you, Made Turden.

You're welcome.

Our first story, we've got a lot of music news today, actually, because it's New Music Friday.

And Kelly Clarkson dropped a new song.

I don't know if you heard it.

I did.

I saw her exclusively releasing it on her Sirius XM show, which I didn't even know she had a Sirius XM show.

This woman works so fucking hard.

So there's a lot of news here.

She released a song called Where Have You Been?

And I listened to it this morning as I was getting ready.

It's, of course, Parjal-ish.

But I'm listening to the lyrics, and I'm like, oh, oh, Kelly has a new man.

Kelly's fallen in love.

This song is about like, where have you been, this magical person, this perfect person?

Well, I was stuck in a prison of my own making with my horrible ex-husband.

Turns out it's actually about Meryl Streep and Martin Short.

So she revealed on her serious XM show that we didn't know that she had that the song was inspired by the two iconic actors who both star in Only Murders in the Building.

She said, I wrote this song.

This is, I've rarely done something like this, but I was watching Only Murders in the Building.

It's Martin Short's face.

He says to Meryl Streep's character in the show, where Where have you been?

He's like, Oh, their characters.

I thought their off-screen romance inspired this song.

I think it's a little bit of both because she said he's like, He's in awe.

And I was like, Has there been, has anyone written a song?

Because the song is happy because it's like you found something that you thought was almost basically a unicorn and did not exist.

She said, I hope you dig it.

Kelly, we're digging it for sure.

However, I did hope that it meant like personal love for you.

But she's, you know, she's going the Carrie Underwood storyteller, Taylor Swift folklore route.

I'm writing about things that I see out in the world.

And you're writing about like fictional stories, books, movies, et cetera.

So I like it too.

I also love Martin Short and Meryl Streep's like off-screen romance.

So the fact that Kelly's like, is probably aware of it just brings me joy.

However,

not however, sorry.

Additionally.

Great.

I don't know if you're aware.

You know how there's like the Galer conspiracy theories?

Like Taylor Swift is gay?

Yes.

Outside of the

Kaylor?

Yeah, it's all a part of the Carly Kloss, like, but who was in another female lover of hers?

According to the Galor stands, Diana Agron.

Oh, right, right, right.

Okay, cool, cool.

Continue.

That fiddle player who worked on Taylor Swift's original Torah and then got fired.

Yeah, there's like, if you're into Galore, which I am not, there's a lot of material to work with.

Now, there is a movement within the standum of Kelly Clarkson of Gal Kelly.

Okay.

Yeah.

Where they think Kelly might be a lesbian.

With whom?

No one.

It's all based on this like one performance she gave.

It's we're working.

No, wait, sorry.

I'm not a part of it.

They are working with like really minimal material, but I saw them investigating this song as well.

So now that Kelly's being upfront with what it's actually about, I guess that kind of dispels the Gelly rumors.

Yeah, but they'll latch on to something else.

Yeah.

And I would just say, like, I would love that for Kelly.

Yeah.

I would have loved this to be about like Kelly's personal life, but then I just also, that's so revealing.

And she's in a private era of her life.

but i i hope that one day she has this feeling now i know that we spoke previously about kelly

reports that kelly wanted to leave new york and thus you know probably leaving her show i didn't realize like how deep her roots were here she also records a serious xm show in studio now she could do that anywhere yeah every like nashville has plenty of radio shows but she does have like deep roots here it's going to make it hard for her yeah

yeah we'll see we'll see what she does.

I think the show is probably the hardest thing to move.

And then also not a story, but today, speaking of Kelly, Rascal Flats, Backstreet Boys, Rascal Flats song came out today.

Did you listen?

They did what her song was.

Oh, I didn't.

Claudia, my ears were bleeding.

The first verse is sung.

They made it like Backstreet Boys style.

The first verse is sung by BSB.

And like, seriously, I was in pain.

Thankfully, on the second verse, Gary's angelic voice comes in to save the song.

And it actually sounds kind of nice.

Gary's voice with their beats because they like pop synth a little bit.

Yeah.

But they ruined the song.

They're trying so hard.

And we thought Jonas Brothers and Rascal Flats is too many cooks in the kitchen.

This is eight cooks in the kitchen.

I just want to say, I didn't think that.

We did say, no, before I dare you came out, we're like, that just sounds like a lot of people on a song.

Right.

I think I dare you is one of the best songs ever.

Yeah, yeah, no.

Before it came out, we were expressing concern.

Six people on a song.

That's a lot of people on a song.

This is eight people on a song.

Yeah, but Rascal Flats, only one of them sings.

so that's it's not eight it's like six the cousins the other one does like background but they play instruments the other two yeah but still whatever still yeah i'm shocked to hear that i'm not that upset because of all like the the re-release songs the collab with the backstreet boys and what hurts the most like are two things i don't particularly care about agreed so ruin it go for sure it's not like you ruined a fade like fast cars and freedom Correct.

So I'm okay, but I'm shocked to hear you say that and I'm devastated.

No, so far the album, it's it's not just like

a shoe-in.

Every song has really been different and

some are not hitting for me, but some are.

The best is Blake Shelton.

Mayberry is the best one.

Yeah.

Some are changing my life.

So it's a mixed bag.

Now, back to Kelly Clarkson.

I need her team to produce a music video starring Martin Short and Meryl Streep.

That would be extremely cute.

That would be cute.

And also

this bodes well for KC7.

KC8.

It does.

It does.

New album coming soon, hopefully.

I think this is the first single, and it sounds beautiful.

And like, she's her voice is more insane than ever.

The songs, I like the beat.

How about as a society?

Let's not sleep on Kelly Clarkson's music, you know?

Like, right, you're waiting for me.

Let's appreciate that.

You're waiting for new albums.

You didn't listen to the old albums.

You listen to me.

Let's appreciate it.

Waiting for you.

As the albums are actively being released, you know?

Yeah, but I've been guilty of it myself.

I was a little late to chemistry.

I'm completely acknowledging my part in this.

Could go into her catalog, and you'd be hearing it for the first time.

And there you go.

You got Kelly Clark's in new music.

I just feel like she's always getting like slept on.

And it's like we're always having Kelly's renaissance.

What if we just like, what if we just appreciated Kelly in the time that she was in?

Not me.

No, not you.

Not me.

Are you ready for our next rate?

Some more music news.

We're so musical.

I guess it is also Friday, but actually Ed Sheeran made a lot of news this week because he was posting photos.

Didn't make news on the toast, but I noticed it.

he i saw the picture of him and tailor yeah the jam and the note he started posting all these throwback photos from his old phone he like started an account ed's old phone or whatever and like shared all these pictures that he found from back in the day you could like you could even tell from the way the photos were taken like it was a moment in time i thought nothing of it you know celebrities love to make secondary instagram accounts like

my life in film like people love to do like secondary projects we're like sure i thought nothing of it especially because his original instagram is like teddy gram right

So it's like he's got hands in the fire, whatever.

He was posting cute pictures, Taylore.

Who was there?

Harry, everyone.

Gigi, Hadid, like literally everyone.

1D, everyone.

So it made a lot of news, just like all these photos circulating.

And honestly, it's brilliant because it ended up being this like huge marketing campaign for a new song called Old Photos.

A new album.

Which we didn't even, like, I never would have thought that this, like him sharing old photos was in service of anything.

And I have to tell you, that's some of the best marketing I've ever

seen.

It's not Toasty Lion worthy, only because, like,

why isn't it Toasty Lionworthy?

Because I understand.

Like, it's a 99, but it's not a 100.

Like,

and at the end of the day, I think, like, the result is like new Ed Sheeran music.

Like,

the song Old Phone sounds good.

Yeah, it's from this new album, Play.

I thought the album was called Old Phone.

I thought that would also have been really cute.

And look, he got us.

No, no it was a plus to whoever came up with this campaign I don't know if it needed to be like its own Instagram account but whatever like him sharing old phone and like using his celebrity friends to like you know launch this new era I thought it was brilliant yeah I thought so too when I saw it and I heard the teaser for the song I was like go Ed and I feel like the formula for releasing new music is so lame these days like we're wiping our Instagrams we're changing our profile pictures to be black and it's like new era is beginning for Normani.

And

then the era never begins, but for Normani.

But like, it's so formulaic at this point.

It's not exciting.

So for him to really switch it up, like, he's kind of raised the bar for everybody.

And it's definitely hard to stand out in the pop space like as a boring straight man.

A boy.

Yeah, 1,000%.

But like some of the,

like, like, is Benson Boone gay?

No.

Oh, okay.

So good for him, too.

But, you know, sometimes Boon got a little flair.

No, of course it's easier to like play up with outfits and different things.

But Ed Sheeran's not putting on a dress like Harry Styles.

No, and Harry is like, he, he is fluid, right?

So I don't know if I would even say Harry Styles like a straight guy.

But like he is.

Well, I think a lot of people have issue with him because he's like always saying,

like, that's why I didn't mention Harry Styles.

He's always saying that he's fluid, but it's like, prove it.

All your girlfriends are girls.

Oh, he dates girls.

Like, he just wants to wear a dress.

Let him wear the dress.

No, but he's fluid, like, according to him.

Or actually, according to a lot of his art, too.

So, I wasn't going to say Harry Styles because I'm not 100% sure.

I wasn't going to say Harry Styles either, because like he is technically a boring straight man who's making a lot of money.

But he's not.

He's not.

Because he makes out with guys in his music video.

He puts on a dress and

he is fluid, although he only has girlfriends.

Yeah, I don't know.

Let's seriously not go there.

He's fluid because he wears high heels.

Like, because he's

because

he's said like, his sexuality is fluid.

So, I wouldn't call him straight.

Okay.

And this is a conversation bigger than us, you know, the Harry Styles relationship to the LGBTQ community.

And I'm not going there, like, for real.

No, no, no.

That's why I didn't say him.

That's why I thought Benson.

That's why I went, oh, Farry Style.

No, so Benson is interesting because he does use a lot of the stereotypically more

feminine things, like big outfits.

And they're calling him the next Freddie Mercury.

Right, right.

But he's totally straight, I believe.

Got it.

Okay.

Let me ask chat just to make sure.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Yeah, ask chat.

I'm sure chat knows.

I wonder if chat can read my typos.

I feel like they speak Koj.

As of now, he is not publicly identified as gay.

He's in a relationship with an actress.

Okay.

Okay, cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

Cool, cool.

Are you ready for our next story?

Speaking of relationships.

Okay.

New couple news.

Southern Charm alum, Naomi Olindo, is dating Brooks Snaddad.

I'm so glad we're talking about this.

I mean, you know, she's dating Brooks Nader's ex-husband, Billy Hare.

So, Naomi Olindo is a dad.

So, why do you care?

Like, like, to explain to the people, like, why would you care?

Well, I care about Naomi Olindo deeply as a Southern Charm fan.

And, you know, she's no longer on the show, but she dated Craig and she's a PJow of a woman and you just want what's best for her.

She did.

Yes, of course.

like so whoever why why now why this man let me tell you why it's interesting what do you know about him other than brooks nader's ex-husband so a lot of people didn't know like when brooks nader popped onto the scene like modeling that she had this husband and i think that didn't really speak to like the health of the marriage because like literally nobody knew she had a husband.

But if you did a little research, you've like would find out like she, not only she had a husband, she had like a rich husband.

And I do believe it was like quite a tumultuous, like not good marriage.

And they ended up recently getting divorced, which also made no news.

Like, her marriage like came and went so quietly, but you know, it left this, you know, handsome, eligible young billionaire.

And I'm so glad that Naomi Olindo had the foresight to just snatch him up.

Yeah, they were photographed on a pontoon together, like smiling.

They took an Instagram official, like, he posted her on his story, and then she reshared the story.

Yeah, so they are very much shading.

We don't know more than that, but I'm

here for it.

Uh, 1000%,

yeah.

Naomi also like makes good relationships.

I know that like what happened with Mattool was bad, right?

But before that, he was like this very handsome, very promising young man, right?

He was going to become this big doctor, really big, cute family, handsome face.

Like she does pick men well.

Now, obviously, Mattool ended up being like a cheater.

And like, when I just watched the show, he was like...

Mean diet shaming her.

Like it was weird.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Weird with football.

I'm talking about men on paper.

Okay, on paper.

All their resumes are parjilish.

Yeah, Craig, too.

Well, I think a lot of people were perhaps holding out hope that like Craig and Aomi would get back together.

I'm not one of those people.

I'm not.

And I like them so much both separately, so you would think I would be.

But like, no, I think there's just like too much bad, like,

I think

they're both also so changed from the people that they were when they were dating.

I think they would just always see them.

Like, she would always just see him as like Craig in the sewing.

And like.

you know, and yeah, no, the relationship also ran its course.

Like, I was sad when they broke up, but it's not the right, but I do think since Craig has become single, people had been like, maybe like she's the one that got away.

I didn't think so.

But this kind of put a kibush on that.

Yeah, happy for her.

Me too.

I would love to see Southern Charm with your mans now.

No, no, no.

Once you are with a billionaire, you don't need a

reality show.

Like, you're good.

I forgot to enjoy

a billionaire.

Very

wealthy.

Okay.

I'm confirmed.

I'm not an account manager on his confirmed wealth.

Okay, great.

Yeah.

Wishing them.

The wealth is confirmed.

Wishing them lots of love.

L-O-L.

Lots of love.

Are you ready for our next story, which is also some new couple news?

Is this number four?

This is number four.

I am.

I spice went Instagram official with New York Jet star Sauce Gardner.

Okay.

Ice Spice is dating a Jet while giving a glimpse into her life lately.

I thought you were going to say, I spice is dating a Jew.

Well, I don't know Sauce Gardner.

Maybe he's a Jew.

Probably not.

Gardner is not a Jewish last name.

Actually, you do have a friend, Gardner.

I do.

Olivia does.

Okay.

Even though this is Garter.

Oh, yeah, Olivia does.

She suddenly made her budding romance with New York Check's cornerback, Sauce Garter, Instagram official.

Indeed, amid solo shots of herself and a video playing in the snow while wearing a bikini, she shared a mirror selfie with the NFL player.

Do you feel like Ice Spice is still famous?

No.

Like she's right.

Like she's on her way out, right?

It's crazy.

She was like true.

Like, this happens a lot in the music industry, like true flash in the pan.

Like you're everything, everywhere all at once.

I've been thinking that a lot recently about Lil Nas X.

Remember him?

I've been thinking that a lot about Lil Nas X too.

Claudia, would you call him a one-hit wonder?

Old Town Road?

Like, no.

Like,

someone to love

me.

I would call him a one-year wonder.

Yeah.

I feel like because of social media, when you have a really big hit, you're more than likely to have like two or three more.

But it's now, it's not so much now about one hits.

It's about like a time period.

So I would say the new one-hit wonder is a one-year wonder.

And that's how I feel about Ice Spice too.

Like, right?

She had a couple of songs.

Think you're the shit, bitch.

You're not even the fuck.

Claudia, I don't know one ice.

Like, Ice Spice is actually a bit more.

You do.

You do.

No, no, no, Claudia.

I don't.

Ice Spice is actually, that's an insult to Lil Nas ex because like he had albums.

I know he has a lot of fans and people are probably saying to me, like, how could he be a one-hit wonder?

He could only be a one-hit wonder because Old Town Road was so big, like bigger than any Boys a Liar.

Do you know that song?

No.

I know for a fact I don't know any Ice Spice songs.

And

if no one told me about Ice Spice in certain, like,

and I know Karma.

But, well, that's not her songs.

But she has 10 songs on Spotify that have over 100 million streams.

That's something.

Okay.

Play the number one song.

The Boys a

You don't know that song?

Could you play a little bit of it?

Like, we don't even run ads here.

Sounds like good.

I think you know this song.

Never heard it.

It's really good.

I don't want to get demonetized.

We don't run ads on this show on YouTube.

Yeah, but still, they can, like, they can put ads.

Like, if you have copyrighted material, like, we won't get demonetized, but they'll start monetizing and put like a thousand commercials on this piece of content.

Threats.

I just find it interesting.

Ben just texted me.

It's supposed to be 80 degrees tomorrow.

Blank asked if I want to play golf.

I'm just feeling like I want to say no.

Do it.

No.

Like, he was in Charleston all day yesterday.

Like, I did my time.

So ice and sauce.

Oh, back to Lil Nas X.

And I think you've been having that thought about Lil Nas X because he's been talking about it a lot.

He sometimes pops up on my Twitter and he's like, I'm being blackballed from the industry.

Like, that's what his line of thinking is.

But I just think it also speaks to like, you just burn hot and fast in music now, like with social media, like you're everywhere.

And it's like, what do you have next?

What do you have next?

And if you don't have something next, then you don't have something.

Right.

And some people could do it.

I feel like we're in that moment right now with Benson Boone.

Like, I could see us in three years being like, what happened to that guy who like wore the jumpsuit and did the flips?

Like,

I think that the songs are like good enough.

Like, I think they're not Lil Nas X music was very very good.

Outside of Old Town Road.

Yeah.

I need

someone to love

me.

Like, it was good music.

Okay.

So, I just think, like,

oh, I mean, remember Logic?

No.

Right.

He was that like rapper with the glasses who had the song about like the suicide hotline.

And oh my God, that year at the awards, like, he was everywhere.

Like, logic, logic, logic, logic.

Where is logic?

I i also feel that way about khalid

wow throwback right like he was everywhere these people for like one or two years who are just like the darlings of the music industry

alessia cara yes if alessia cara has no fans where am i that's a really good one

i would have listened to anything she put out i loved every song she put out and then she kind of got the opportunity of a lifetime which was to be the official singer for see the light Where the Sky Meets the Sea, which is like the biggest, and was the biggest song of the year in like in another stratosphere from Moana.

So I don't know.

Yeah.

Makes you think.

Definitely makes you think.

Ice and Sauce initially arose suspicions in September when she went to a Jets game and then they also went to the Vanny Fair Oscars party together.

So they've been dating for a while.

And this bodes well for her friendship with Taylor.

Right.

Maybe you'll see her at a Jets game.

J-E-T-S.

Jets Zarks.

Jets versus Jets.

Kansas City Chiefs.

Jets versus Sweets.

Jets versus Sharks.

Yeah.

Before we dive into the remainder of the show, might I let you know that it's brought to you by Booking.com.

Booking.

Yeah.

Yeah, you can.

Every time we use booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., we just know it.

We know they're going to have exactly what we're looking for because they have a huge variety of options.

So they have hotels, they have vacation rentals.

We know that we're going to be able to find just what we're looking for for any particular trip.

And we are very cosmopolitan ladies.

We take lots of different trips.

We have found that Booking.com has something for everyone.

So are you a Broadway lover looking to book a solo trip to New York?

Well, you can do that on Booking.com.

If you're looking for a hotel that has walking distance to your favorite theaters, you could see a musical a day, perhaps a balcony where you can just work on your d'or mi vasol la titos.

They've got a free at booking.com.

Are you more of a beach-obsessed kind of swirly looking for a kid-free facility?

You'll be able to do that on booking.com.

You can have, if you want to like find a hotel that has a swim-up bar, that has direct beach access, like whatever your specifications are, there's nothing too specific.

Booking.com will have it for you, I promise.

Or perhaps like a little like bed and breakfast moment.

No matter who you are, booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you.

So find exactly what you're booking for.

See what I did there?

On booking.com, booking.

Yeah, yeah.

Booking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Booking dot, yeah, yeah.

Did you know that one?

Yeah.

Today's Today's episode.

Let's not get demonetized during the ads.

No one will know what that song was that I just sang.

Everyone will know that song.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Cozy Earth with Mother's Day just around the corner.

Let us remind you of Cozy Earth.

Like, seriously,

whether you are celebrating a mom, remembering a mom, longing to be a mom, or just navigating motherhood in an unexpected way, you deserve the best.

Like, seriously, you do.

And Cozy Earth creates comfort that feels like home because home feels like mom.

It's so small.

Oh my God, stop Cozy Earth.

You're going to make us cry.

So Cozy Earth carries like everything Pargy, right?

They have amazing sheets, amazing pajamas.

Their bamboo pajamas are the perfect way to wrap yourself or that special person in your life in comfort and care.

I'm all about comfort right now.

Like seriously, I have no time in my life for anything that's not stretchy, anything that's not soft, anything that's not comfortable.

Cozy Earth has been a true pregnancy staple.

Like I love their sheets.

I actually discovered them.

I took a nap in your bed

over Christmas break.

And it was really pargy.

I said, what is this silky, soft, smooth facility you've got going on over here?

It was really pargy.

And we're excited because we have 40% off with our code Toast.

So the special offer to celebrate Moms Everywhere this weekend only, May 2nd through 4th, Cozy Earth is giving our listeners a special promo of buy one, get one free bamboo pajamas.

Use our code Toast BOGO to take advantage.

of this specific deal because, you know, mothers, they deserve the best.

They do.

Also, Cozy Earth has crib sheets.

Get on that.

They do.

Yeah, and they feel like our sheets.

And actually, I just outfitted Harry's bed in all Cozy Earth because he loved sleeping in my bed.

And he said, My blanket is so cozy.

Oh, that's sweet.

I got him the same in twin size for his bed.

And now his bed is so cozy.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Purely Elizabeth.

Purely Elizabeth is making delicious granolas, oatmeals, and cereals that are intentionally crafted with superfood ingredients like Asian grains, nuts, and seeds, irresistible taste.

They're certified gluten-free and non-GMO.

They have plenty of vegan and keto-friendly options.

And Purely Elizabeth is a certified woman-owned and B-corp brand.

We love Purely Elizabeth.

Ben is so in his granola era.

And granola, I feel like, is one of those things that you just buy anywhere and you're like, oh, it's healthy.

And it's literally like worse than a snicker.

Granola is candy.

Yeah.

And so you have to be really particular.

And Ben has been like really into finding healthy granola.

And we were at Whole Foods the other day.

They carried Purely Elizabeth.

I'm like, Ben, you have to try it.

I know this brand.

I've tried it on their amazing.

He fell in love with the blueberry one.

Like he is obsessed now.

And I just felt so proud to like not only like, yeah, I'm a beacon of health.

I know things, but also, yeah, they sponsor my show.

So Elizabeth herself started her journey in the kitchen creating obsession-worthy foods like delicious granola with crunchy clusters, ancient grains and superfoods.

They're nothing short of delicious.

They have no artificial flavors.

Their ancient grains and superfood seeds are premium ass ingredients.

That's

my words.

That's my words, not Elizabeth's.

Okay, let me just say that.

The original ancient granola is, I think, one of their best sellers.

One bite.

You're just going to be obsessed with it.

It really adds a nice crunch, a nice, you know, a delight to to like a yogurt parfait.

And you're just, you, you will love it.

They're certified USDA organic, gluten-free.

It's just part.

Basically, what they're saying is it's pargilis.

Pargilish.

So visit purelyelizabeth.com.

Use our code toast for check for 20% off a checkout.

Purely Elizabeth tastes the obsession.

Thank you, Turt the Obsession.

You're welcome, jerk the obsession.

Our fifth and final story is some almost casting news.

Love almost casting.

It's some C N at T T

A C N at T N N.

I love that.

Kelsey Ballarini reveals she auditioned to play Jennifer Coolidge's assistant on the White Lotus season two, the role that actually went to Portia.

Lou Richardson.

Let me tell you, it's so good she didn't get it.

Did you watch season two?

Everyone fucking hated Portia.

They're like, this bitch is so fucking annoying.

And Kelsey is a likable queen.

And honestly, I feel like Haley Lou Richardson never came back from that.

Honestly, it was, she was so good at being so unlikable.

That's so funny.

After telling Variety recently that she's auditioned for a lot of things and not gotten them, she revealed to people at the Variety Power of Women Nashville event yesterday that she tried out for the role of Tonga's assistant Porsche in season two of The White Lotus, which Haley Lou Richardson eventually landed.

She said, I have no shame in my game.

I auditioned for the second season of The White Lotus for the role of the assistant that Haley did.

She praised Haley for acting, quote, so beautifully and brilliantly in the role, adding, but yeah,

I did audition for for that fun fact i feel like it wasn't the right role for her when you said she auditioned i was wondering what you were going to say the assistant was supposed to be this like little sad sack right and kelsey and i'm sure like you can get into character with like wardrobe but kelsey is this like bombshell pop star right it's not the right fit i don't know i thought you were going to say maybe one of the like italian hookers like they were like these confident bodacious women.

Yeah, what's meant for you?

Not that Kelsey's a hooker.

You know what I mean?

It's like what Gwyneth was saying.

I'm sure you saw that clip how she auditioned for something like a big role before like when she was in the

really in the game back in the day and she didn't get it and she was so angry and then blithe was like it's not your role but it's also easy to like now look back on that when you have enormous success and you have like a million shakespeare and love like you have a million big roles so what's one more but like there are some people who almost didn't get a role and we've never heard of them so like it's not as easy to heal Yes, definitely.

But I think for Kelsey, it's, she'll be okay.

She's actually,

she's trying to get into acting now.

She had had said in women's health it's one of the things that i was like run towards the things that scare you which is acting but then she said what if i suck but then she said you know what i'll do i'll go put on my glitter and go back on stage that's always going to be home

i feel like a lot of chase everybody it's the chase stokes effect yeah because i feel like she's having such success with music that like she should stay in that not stay in your lane but like it's hard to especially as like a country girly to breach the genre and she's definitely like country pop right i think the people who go to her concerts are a real mix.

And with the rolling up the welcome at and then like her relationship that everyone's obsessed with, like she's had kind of a banner two years and she's doing bigger venues and huge tours and her albums are so successful.

And I feel like she should really lean into that as opposed to like channeling energy into a new

project.

People's desire to take their success and turn it into an acting career is something I will never understand.

It's a lot of times like what people want to do.

I will never

that.

Kim.

That's who I'm talking about, primarily.

Oh, totally.

I will never.

That I genuinely don't understand.

Like, you're a billionaire.

Like, stop.

No, I just don't understand it.

Like, if I ever became a billionaire, I obviously wouldn't tell people, but there would be signs, right?

You would never fucking hear from me again.

But what about the attention?

Like, don't you still like, you're still you?

I'll pay people.

I'll pay people to pay attention to me.

Still you.

I think you're

not afraid of you, but like, definitely you'd be working less no this is my favorite quote like everybody wants to be rich and famous make them rich and see if it doesn't solve all their problems

I don't I don't know you don't you don't get it no like I don't know that it's like the most amazing quote no it's so true because you like look at this life and you're like rich and famous rich and famous and it's like well really what you want is the money

and like fame is toxic and it's fun sometimes but like you get the money you'll be fine trust me you won't yearn for the fame but if you get the fame you will yearn from the money because there is a misconception that like famous people are richer than they are yeah well that's true and they ain't that's why like i feel like the level of famous that like the sharks are at is good they're not like huge stars but like everybody knows them they're like america sweethearts but they're so rich most celebrities aren't that rich correct that's why you see them doing commercials and like you know yeah random ass shit they're working correct and they can't not they can't stop they like live expensive lives yeah

Those were the fast five stories.

It's time to dive into my personal favorite part of the week: Queenie and Weenie of the Week.

Our final segment of the week where Jack and I just sort of like to wrap up the week, take a look at the week at a glance, and give out two awards: Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week.

They're pretty self-explanatory.

Somebody who acted like a queen of this week, somebody who acted like a weenie this week.

It's harmless.

It's fun.

If you committed a crime, you're not going to be weenie of the week.

You're going to be in jail and you're going to have a weenie in your mouth.

So,

Queenie to start.

Jack's.

Queenie to start.

My Queenie of the Week is Delaney Rowe, BJ Novak's new girlfriend, influencer, extraordinaire, taking her talents from the page to the stage.

Yep.

Elevating influencers everywhere.

And I'm just really happy for her and her new relationship.

And it's queenie-like behavior.

I love that.

I really do.

That is queen-like behavior.

And she hasn't let this attention get to her.

Like, she's still putting out her silly content.

Yeah.

No, but like, you know, she's been dating an A-lister since December now.

Now we know that.

And she is so committed to her craft.

Yeah.

Get BJ in a sketch.

But other than that, you're crushing it.

Now, we we were having this conversation offline before.

Like, I prepare all week for Queenie and Weenie, and I can't believe I just looked at my, my thing.

I have my weenie.

And under my queenie, I wrote someone who I'm, I have two weenies.

I just want to say every week, like, you take Queenie and Weenie so seriously.

Like, I do.

I do.

Nobody respects the QW more than you.

Yeah.

But every week you come with a weenie and not a queenie.

I know.

Okay.

I have my new one.

Okay, who's your queenie?

The queenie of my week is Chat GBT.

We took our relationship to a new level is chatty.

I took my relationship to a new level with ChatGBT.

I know, like, I'm like, I'm like paying for an escort.

I pay $20 a month.

We've never been happier.

I feel like the shows have been so much more well-informed.

We haven't gotten comments in a while being like, you guys don't know this.

Like, no, we do because we have chat.

I could see them being like, actually, Benson Boone dated a man before his girlfriend.

I mean, chat is imperfect.

Chat is imperfect.

But I'll say that now that we've taken our relationships to the next level, we're generating images.

We're on a payment plan.

I feel more connected than ever to

artificial intelligence.

I love that.

Thank you.

My weenie of the week, though, I don't like to join Napoleon.

I just have got to say who it is for what she's doing.

There's definitely something nefarious going on, even if they did get done dirty by CBS, but it is Jordan Hudson for taking advantage of this poor old man.

So what I find funny is that like, this is how different we are.

My weenie of the week is Bill Belichick.

That's so so funny.

Like, I know.

But I thought that, like, we both came to the agreement that, like, she's the villain.

The villain.

Yes.

But I do respect her hustle, you know?

And

I also want to nominate Weenie of the Week, Bill Belichick's children.

Where are you in this?

You know,

let me ask chat.

Actually, this one I could just Google.

Yeah.

I agree with that, though.

If he does have children, where are they?

Three kids.

Yeah.

but she couldn't she could be pushing him of course of course i just think like he's not incapacitated so while i do think he's definitely like being um taken advantage of here like it's a little weenie like you're a successful legendary get the fuck up like stand up for yourself yeah stop letting this girl push you around she's 16.

yeah

and his children are also weenie of the week and i also have another nomination because i did accidentally have two weenies Have you gotten the new Instagram layout?

No.

Okay, it's going to come for you.

I don't don't know why it came for me yesterday.

I didn't even update my app.

I just like opened.

I was so lost all day yesterday.

The new Instagram layout, they've just, everything looks the same, but they have decided to move three buttons.

Like

the DMs that you would like press the top right, that would be your inbox.

That is now your notifications.

The plus sign down at the bottom where like you would press to post is now your DM inbox.

Like they just like, you know, when, what's that type of like psychological manipulation where you break into someone's house and you start moving things around just to like make them feel like they're going crazy?

Yeah.

That's what Instagram's doing to us.

I was having the worst time on Instagram yesterday.

It was pissing me off.

Put it back.

Well, even on my Jackie O account, because like on Redheads, it's been updated.

But you know, most people now, like, the feeds aren't square photos.

They're rectangular.

They're like a little bit rectangular.

Yeah.

I don't have that on Jackie O yet.

I don't have it on Claude with No Job yet either.

I like it.

Like I like the change.

I'm like waiting for it.

And with social media, I'm not like averse to change.

I like when they update.

I like when they take people's feedback.

Like it'll take a minute to adjust, but like it's better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nobody asks for this.

There's always growing paints, but at the end of the day, they're usually doing the right thing.

This is bad.

Like seriously, this is for no fucking reason.

Citral Z, you're saying?

Citral Z it up, Mark Zuckerberg.

Citral Zuck.

Okay.

Okay.

That's our show, you guys.

That is happy Friday Dairies.

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.

First weekend in May.

Get after it.

Get after it.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast on Monday morning show.

We deliver the Fastest Stories you need to have every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts and where podcasts can be found.

So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IRID, Cast Box, all the places wherever you listen to podcasts.

Find us.

We're the toast, bitch.

Leave a five-star review.

We're the turst.

Leave a five-star review about how beautiful, standing, and

wickedly talented we are.

Love ya.

Bye.