Annie, Hallie and Messy Chessy: Thursday, October 31st, 2024

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Toasta Win

2024 Extravaganza.

I'm Hallie Parker and I'm Annie Parker.

No, you're not.

What's her last name?

Annie James.

Annie James.

Oh, I did know that I'm Annie James.

And we are joined with special guest.

Oh, hello, I'm Anne Jessie.

Oh, and Jessie is here.

Hello.

Chessie, what's her last name?

Hello, Aunt Jessie, the hooker.

Scoutfire Garten Kelsey.

Oh, and Jessie is here to see you both.

It's so good to see you.

Chessers,

Chessers, we miss you.

By the way, everybody says Chessie with a C.

It's a J.

Her name is fucking Jesse.

It's not, actually.

You look it up, you Google.

It's Jesse with a J.

Why do people say Chessie with a C?

Ben?

Ben, you might want to take several seats.

It's literally Chessie.

Google it.

I love that none of us know the names of our characters.

Excuse me, none of us.

I literally knew my name.

Two, actually, Jackie.

It's Chess.

You're positive it's Chessie.

Yes.

I was getting ready.

That's it.

That makes the lore so strong.

If she were Jesse, she'd be any other Jesse.

Jackie, as I was getting dressed today, I literally had to say, Alexa.

I could not remember Hallie's last name.

Like, I knew Annie James, and I literally said, Alexa, what is

what the fuck's her name?

Annie's, Hallie's last name, and Parker, yes.

Nick Parker.

Nick, my daddy.

It's she's my daddy.

What's that?

Legend.

So funny is I googled Annie James this morning, like for accessory ideas, and then I forgot my own name.

So, Ben and I are in the same studio.

We're on different cameras.

You just, it's important to know what's really going on behind the scenes at Toasta Ween.

It is 6,000 degrees in this place.

We are both wearing

You have no idea how hot it is.

You have no idea on my FaceTime like Claudia.

We always have this angle, but Chessie looks like she's been hot.

I can't breathe.

Like she's been taken hostage.

I can't breathe.

This is like the tightest.

Look at this sweat mark.

Can you see?

I have under boob sweat marks.

It's so hot, man.

It's so hot.

It's giving summer cam.

It's giving summer cam.

And it's giving cross-transatlantic continental podcasting, which is so paring trap-coded.

We have one fan, and I was like very generous because Chessie was already sweating through her shirt when we got here.

But Ben, I am letting you know, like, we will be sharing that fan.

You have no idea how hot it is over here.

You have no idea.

Chessie's bosom is moist.

I can't breathe.

So is Annie's.

No, Claude, do you see?

No, Annie, do you see?

Do you see, Ben?

Annie, look.

It's getting bigger.

Look, look.

Listen, it's that summertime Napa Valley heat.

heat.

It's that summertime Napa Valley heat.

And, you know, growing up on a vineyard with my servant, Jesse, I obviously know what it's like to exist in the warm climates.

And I travel a lot because my dad is like really wealthy.

So I'm only at this camp like for fun.

I'm spending the rest of the summer at my vineyard.

Most of us are at this camp for fun.

I would hope so.

Nick Parker is so rich.

Not enough people talk about how rich he is.

They both are, both the parents.

Independently wealthy.

And then when they come together, blended.

By the way, alternate title for for the parent trap,

Three Identical Strangers.

Or blended.

Yeah, like the way they were both so wealthy.

And it's better because if they had gotten separated and one had to go with a poor parent and one went with a rich parent, that wouldn't have been fair.

No, it was just really like two completely different lifestyles, but both at a very high level of living.

At a very high level of living.

So happy Toastawen, everyone.

The day is here.

Halloween.

What fun.

Yeah, and it's nice.

I like October because I celebrate Toastawen, but also my birthday, October 11th.

My birthday is October 11th.

Halle,

we're not sisters.

We're with twins, Dazzle.

And by the way, I know a lot of you guys think that I'm Annie Parker, the twin from The Vineyard, the Vineyard twin.

However,

that's just what you think.

However, you look like the camper from the camper and the counselor.

I do, because she's kind of wacky looking.

What do you mean?

She looks like me.

You know, but she has like wild red hair.

Like, my hair is really insane.

You really look like her.

I think you should tell people that, too.

And the uniforms are also green and white.

And is Ben the counselor?

I look like Sadie Sink's older brother in

Stranger Things.

Is that her brother?

Yeah.

Does that make Ben catcher snitch?

Yeah.

Because Counselor Stitch has like a sexy physique.

Yes, always showing off her bosom.

Right.

Hmm.

How scary is this tank top?

Give me naps.

That's

Amazon's finest.

You love that shirt when you're dressing like a lady.

I don't think that there could be a thicker version of this shirt, though, Jackie.

The thin one that we wore for Ina Garten was nice and thin, very Olivia.

This one, this is a coat.

This is a winter coat.

It's a new one.

That's not your Ina Garden shirt?

No, that Ina Garten shirt is long gone.

It's probably at your house.

Wow.

And I wonder what did you wear for Donna Kelsey?

Oh, Jenny Kaye in cashmere.

Oh, but you're so hot that day.

At least you're not wearing cashmere.

I think it was cold that day.

Oh, you look fantastic as Donna.

I just pulled it up.

It's such a shame.

80 degrees in New York on Halloween.

What are you?

It's so true.

Ben is also wearing an excessive amount of House Labs blush and a Makeup by Mario lipstick.

It does.

You've got a lovely blush to you, a lovely sheen.

So

out of all the ladies you've played over the years, who's your favorite?

Like, I am Inagarten in my soul.

How easy is that?

But

the

Doubtfire Donna Kelsey was really fun.

Ooh, my sons.

Sugar in my sons.

I just want to say

that you're playing are the same.

The elf are the same woman.

It's so true.

Very like maternal spirit.

Even Chessie, like she's always whipping shit up in that kitchen.

Not like a kitchen is not an unfamiliar place to them.

Home and hearth, a big chili.

Chessie loves a chili.

Chessie loves a chili and her golden retriever.

We should have brought Romeo.

Romeo.

Should have brought him.

They had a dog.

They did.

They did.

Romeo could have cosplayed as a golden retriever.

If Margo still worked for us, she would obviously be Meredith Blake.

Obviously.

Somewhere out there, she is being Meredith Blake.

She literally was born Meredith Blake.

I'm just saying justice for Martin.

Martin was a strong character.

Ben Abbey.

Martin was your man.

Stand by your man, Chessie.

Martin's a strong character with those leather pants.

Although it would make more sense for like Ben in the context of the three of us, like to be my servant, not yours, you know?

Of course.

And he has to be a woman.

Like, how boring.

Oh, of course.

Of course.

But I was telling my friends at like, I went to dinner with my high school friends, like, what is Toastawen?

And I was like, we're being Annie and Hallie.

And Ben is being Chesse.

They're like, not Martin.

I'm like, no, no, you don't understand.

He has to play a woman.

He has to.

I don't know what it says about myself.

I love dressing as a woman.

You know who else loved dressing as a woman?

Who?

Kate.

Bruce Jenner.

Very good.

And Bruce Saffer.

And we're in trouble.

And we're in trouble.

No, I feel like I can make jokes because I feel like Caitlin Jenner actually appreciates those jokes.

Like she thinks they're funny.

1,000%.

And because Ben is an ally who loves to dress like a woman.

It's so true.

And you do, and from the back, it's actually very funny to see Ben.

Like today when he put on the wig for the first time and then he walked, he turned around and walked away.

Like seeing from the back, this like six foot broad, it is so funny in person, you guys.

And the wig is

not 100%, you know, they don't have a chessy wig.

Like, it was, you had to really,

I'm sorry, this wig is a Shonda.

I think you never looked better.

This wig is a complete shade.

She's perfect.

But I'm just saying, she doesn't have these bangs.

She does.

It's like very 90s Farrah Fawcett, but you look more like Morgan Wallen.

And you didn't.

That's who it is.

You didn't change it.

of occasion.

No,

no.

No, I'm Chessie Chesthair.

Chessie chest hair.

Let me just pull it down a little.

How's that?

Oh my God.

And by the way, this is the first chesto meeting.

Ben is going to be here for however long we want him to be.

We set up a whole little studio for him.

He's literally right next to me.

We're pretending like we're not in the same room.

We're literally right next to each other.

And I think Ben's going to stick around for the stories.

Okay.

What?

Not a little sprinkle sprinkle of Chessie on the stories.

That's what they need.

Yeah, and Ben, feel free to chime in or just scroll on your phone.

What are the fast five?

What are we talking about, ladies?

Yeah, what are we chatting about, gal pals?

Oh, what are we chatting about, gal pals?

Oh, no.

It's where Mrs.

Delfire turns Jamaican at the same time.

And she decided Irish and Jamaican.

She is Miss.

She is.

She's Irish.

I believe so.

She's Irish.

Yeah, no, that sounds all right.

That feels all right.

What are we we talking about, gal pals?

Let's get into it.

Honestly, Chessie was a little overbearing.

I know, but Annie needed that sort of

guidance.

Boundaries in her life.

Yeah, I mean, I just prefer my servants, like a little more relaxed.

What are you going to do?

It's also really crazy that both girls had servants.

Right.

Like, because Chessie was a little above and beyond.

She wasn't just like a nanny.

She was like a cooking and a cleaning.

And Martin was dressed like a full.

Martin was a straight-up butler.

But I guess that's like in a single-parent household, like they had, like, they definitely needed additional childcare.

So true.

So they arrived at the same conclusion.

Curious.

Just branded a bit differently.

Yeah.

You actually look like the twin, like with the headband, the whole thing.

You look great.

Thank you.

This is the most comfortable tostawin I've ever had.

How nice.

How nice.

I honestly thought you look great.

No, this wig is like amazing to me.

Should I go red?

I think you maybe should.

And I feel like today, because we're always talking about redhead representation, I feel like we're really doing the most for the redhead community.

Yes, which we need the most.

At dark times like this.

It's so true.

And by the way, yesterday when we were going through all of our Tostaween costumes over the years, we did forget Viseris and Damon Targaryen.

We did.

Does that make it our most forgettable?

Because we literally forgot it.

I guess so.

I guess so.

But so the thing about Tostaween is like they're all really 10 out of 10.

So like fine, you want to find a 9.9 in there?

Fine.

It's so true.

That's crazy.

I'm not wiping my lipstick.

I was wiping the sweat off of my upper brow.

Okay, but I literally saw you wipe your lipstick and now you have 60.

Because you wiped it on your pants.

Honestly.

There's nothing on my lipstick.

She's so chessy.

She's kind of a messy.

Oh, crap.

She's so messy.

Chessie.

Kid.

Shit.

Chessie, messy.

Messy, chessy.

Chessy, chessy.

So Morgan Wallen, Annie, and Hallie are so excited to be here today.

Happy toast to win.

Happy Halloween.

I can't believe it's finally Halloween, honestly.

It's been Halloween for three weeks.

Yeah, this has has been one of the most dreadful things.

I don't like Halloween on a Thursday.

I'm calling it.

Did you tell the story, Claude, to the toasters of the hooligans below?

She didn't.

Last Saturday night, she did.

Of course I did.

And honestly, let's not go again anywhere else.

Let's round up the dreadful things we did this week, okay?

That was the worst night of my life.

Hang on.

I saw a lot of comments about this yesterday, aside from my audio, which I believe is fixed.

But the 45-minute conversation about the creators list, which we did address at the end of the episode yesterday, if you made it there, maybe some of you fell off before that.

And we apologize.

That went on too long.

That went on too long.

And that's on us and our personal interests, and really not being able to separate like our personal interests from the interests of the toasters.

And usually the inner, like, it's usually just a big circle.

There is a sliver outside of the circle, I guess.

We couldn't read the room because there's nobody in here.

And for that, we apologize deeply.

Ben, have you cooled down?

Like, I have.

I'm okay right now.

This looks like I can't breathe.

Like, you could literally make a soup with the amount of water under my breath.

Do you want to take your blouse off?

I don't think the people are ready for that.

Like, that is

the end of the show.

Make yourself comfortable.

Yeah, I guess we can't let it get off the rails.

We haven't even started.

We haven't even started.

We haven't even started.

Martin, we haven't even started.

And by the way, do you think Martin and Chesse were well-suited for one another?

No.

I think he's

like Mr.

Right Now, you know, he's there.

He's a warm body.

There's really no one else around.

They're going to be together for the rest of their lives.

Let's make a go with it.

It's going to be there.

Was honestly a 0% chance that Martin liked women.

Like, it's just like, that's just not a thing.

Like, I looked at them and I was like, this is mismatched.

Like, if anything, I think you're mistaking like British for gay.

Like, they're just different over there, you know?

Maybe.

That never occurred to me, though.

Now that you say it, it seems kind of obvious.

However, Chessie was not like other women.

Chessie is an all-American woman.

She was all-American for sure.

I'm so excited for our camping trip.

I'm so excited for our camping trip.

Chesse, what kind of treats are you going to be packing for us?

Oreos and peanut butter, of course.

For you fat bitches.

That sounds great, honestly.

I know Meredith will really appreciate it.

Chesse, what do you think about Meredith?

I think Meredith is a stupid cunt.

Like,

she's so fucking mean to my what's his name dennis no that's literally his name nick uh nick he's she's so fucking mean to my nick i feel like jamei private school girl yeah but i'm talking shit i'm grace lily and by the way there is a subplot within the film of obviously chessie being in love with nick parker oh yeah yes but I think she realized a long time ago, it's just not going to happen for her when he likes like 26-year-old bitches.

PR girls.

Yeah.

That's really how it should have ended though with me and Nick Parker.

No, but Elizabeth.

Elizabeth.

What a queen she was.

Oh my god, we've literally not even spoken about Elizabeth this whole time.

Your mother.

Yeah, she's kind of in the background, but

she's a simple woman like that.

Yeah.

She doesn't.

Did they like intentionally name her Elizabeth so that we would like draw royal comparisons?

So actually, that's so interesting because I feel like when we were, like, now when I think about Elizabeth James, like, she is so, like, reminds me of Princess Diana.

I feel like I can't

keep the two apart.

Actually, there's a whole generation of young girls who grew up thinking that the mom from Parent Trap was Princess Diana.

William and Harry have said that the character reminds them so much of their mom, and they used to watch it as a source of comfort.

Yeah, I don't know if it was one or both of them, but like they've said it too.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Yeah, so it's not just us.

Okay, no, it definitely is not just us.

But yeah, there's definitely some intentional confusion.

Intentional Intentional confusion.

Well, we actually have a lot to get into today.

And so Annie, Hallie, and Chessie will, of course, be a part of this entire episode.

But Jax Claude and Ben

are going to be diving into the fast five because we still have a job to do.

You know, like Toaster Ween is kind of the perfect balance of fun and work hard, play hard.

Yeah, work hard, play hard, read ads, tell stories.

Of course.

Of course.

Oh man, Chessie thinks you're hilarious.

Chess Libs.

That was funny.

Chessa Libs.

That was pretty good, gal pal.

Pretty good.

Gal pal.

Okay, well, now without further ado,

here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Well, it's

look at Ben's sexy shoulders.

I had to take out my shoulders.

I couldn't breathe.

I realized also this costume could double with a big boom.

Boom, double up, boom, boom.

Boom, boom, boom.

A lot of people thought we were going to be the Costco guys for Halloween, and it definitely was like a top three idea.

And if we had been,

whom do we think we each would have been?

Ben obviously would have been the Rizzler.

I want to have a bad idea.

I think I should have been the Rizzler.

I was going to say, I want to have been able to have been the Rizzler, but I would have needed to have been Big AJ.

I'd have no choice.

I'm just the tallest.

And one of you shorter ladies would have needed to have been the Rizzler.

I think

AJ is the kid.

Buddy is Big Justice, and I'm the Rizzler.

Wait, AJ?

No, it's not Big AJ.

It's AJ and Big Justice.

Big Justice is the kid, though.

Yeah,

which do you want to be, Ben?

AJ.

I have to be AJ, but I want to be the Rizzler.

I want to be AJ.

Have you ever heard him laugh?

It's fucking crazy.

I did when I met him.

He was laughing at a storm.

Oh, who was I talking to last night that like literally Jackie met the Costco guys, and it's the craziest thing on the planet.

I met the Constitution.

I think Taylor Donovan.

And the Rizzler is kind of just like off on the side.

Sometimes they're, sometimes not.

They like go.

Yeah.

So that would be like perfect for me because you guys are in the room together and then like I'm the Riz.

Yeah, but the Rizzler.

With the Riz.

The Rizzler Jackie's on a torpedo to fame.

This kid, did you see him on Fallon?

It's no, I didn't see Fallon.

Oh my god, he literally sat there, just like in his big chair by himself.

You had AJ and Big Justice together.

It was the Rizzler show.

He sat next to Fallon.

I showed Fallon how to do the Riz.

I feel like I can never remember which fucking twin I am.

I'm Hallie.

I feel like Hallie Parker is showing a little badge.

I'm just going to go fix my shorts off camera.

YouTube talk about yourself.

Yeah, Chessie's showing breasts.

I'm showing that.

The isolation cabin for you.

Okay.

Not the naughty version of Parent Trap.

So what's up, Riz?

I'm back.

Oh.

Am I Riz?

No.

No, no, no.

We'll go back.

I'm Adrian.

You're the Chisler.

Chesse Rizzler.

I'm the Chisler.

Okay, let's get into the stories.

Because first up, we have some exciting news, and I actually feel like, Chesse, you might be able to weigh in because it's a blend of celebrity and sports news.

Because Nina Dobrev and Sean White are engaged after nearly five years together.

I am like, really like this couple, and I wasn't waiting for them to get engaged.

I don't know why they just give the vibe of like forever young, like we don't need marriage.

Like I like to snowboard for a living.

Like I didn't, I didn't think that they were on the traditional trajectory.

He does snowboard for a living.

This is added to the list that we can never remember of couples who separately I don't really participate in their work, but together I ship wholeheartedly.

That's exactly who they are.

Like I never watched Vampire Diaries.

Ben was obsessed with Sean White.

Obsessed.

You kind of, by the way,

I was just going to say, I kind of look like Sean White.

I kind kind of look like Sean White or a version of him.

When I tell you, Sean White's mom.

When I tell you, like, a young me was so fucking obsessed with Sean White, like, he is unbelievable.

Those half pipes, those X game runs, those Olympic runs,

he's incredible.

That said, I thought they were married already.

They've been together

forever.

It's a very long time.

Five years is like a long time to then get engaged because you think if someone's dating for five years, oh, they're not doing the marriage, the marriage material.

And now they're going to get engaged and I guess married.

I feel like some people get engaged just to get engaged, don't you find?

Have you seen that video?

Jackie, getting engaged in Hollywood, like, isn't what it means.

If you get engaged in the real world, like, you're most likely getting married.

If you get engaged in Hollywood, it's just like new jewelry, and like, maybe you'll get married, but yeah, I feel like someone got engaged recently, and I'm like, I don't see these two planning a wedding, like hiring a wedding planner, Channing and uh, Kravitz, no,

no, because she was married and he was married, they obviously do marriage, yeah, someone else.

I'm like, I they're not like, you know,

calling, going to the chapel, gonna get married.

Have you seen the Sean White biopic on Netflix, Jackie?

I have not.

We weirdly have.

We watched it.

It's fantastic.

That family, like, they would literally sleep in their car so he could compete and win.

He's so impressive.

Like, the true American dream.

Love him.

Ben is obsessed.

Like, if Ben, if you could have, like, done anything in this life, like, that's what it would have been, right?

If I could have been like an Olympic snowboarder or like skateboarder, like, that culture, you know sick bmx i loved it i thought that's what

i thought that's what like high school kids like wore like i showed up to the first day of high school like wearing skateboarding sneakers and uh skateboarding shorts and that's why nobody talked to me and no by the way ben had hair much like the wig that he is currently wearing he had so much hair he was like an obese ninth grader with his skateboarding outfit like what is skateboarding

shorts look like like is that not jackie you'll know ben what's the brand google it cdc DC is the brand.

You will know CDC.

Jackie, it will literally.

Jackie, this sneaker will light bulb in your brain such a classic look.

Okay, DC sneakers.

Yeah.

DC skateboarding shoes.

Yeah, because they're giving me like on clouds instead.

You know, they've taken over the search, clearly.

Oh, my God.

They have.

Oh, oh, I know.

Right.

Oh,

oh, no.

Oh, no, Chesse.

Yeah.

Oh my goodness.

I would say that they were dark times, but I remember them fondly.

They were

dark times.

I feel like you were so unburdened by like any sort of self-awareness or self-doubt.

And I mean this in a positive way.

Like I think a lot of people at that age like are so crippled with what other people think of them.

And then there are people who just like do not give a fuck.

Like, and Ben was raised to just like have self-assurance.

And he just walked into that first day.

Like, that was his interest.

Like, did he look like the typical skateboarder?

No.

I had just watched Brink.

Like,

I thought this was my time.

I thought me and my friends were going to compete.

Little did I know, I went to a Jewish private school and nobody wanted to look like that.

Got it.

That is.

Yeah, you were barking up the wrong tray.

Similar to how Jackie and I really wanted to be cheerleaders who, like, you know, went to football games.

Meanwhile, we went to Yeshiva that didn't have a cheerleading squad.

Or a football team.

Right.

Or any outdoor sports.

Right, right.

Not for cure.

Feel free to cheer in the basement.

Cheer yourself.

Feel free to cheer on your own time.

Cheer your heart out.

Wigs are so itchy.

Like, it's insane.

Yeah.

Next year, can we do glee?

I want to be Sue Sylvester.

Ooh, I'll be

Roz Washington.

And I'll be Mr.

Shu.

We'll represent the faculty.

You don't have to be Mr.

Shu.

I know.

Do you think part of the reason I hate Mr.

Shu like more than the average person is because I see a little bit of myself in him?

Rejection.

Yeah.

No, I don't.

Okay.

I think he's super hatable.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Thanks.

Yeah.

He's the worst.

Are you ready for our next story?

So Maz will talk to the happy couple.

Like, I'm actually really happy for them.

And they will have a stars.

I'm going to go to the next registry.

You know what I mean?

No, no, but they will have a star-sided wedding, and they're definitely getting married on top of the mountain.

So you think they're getting married?

Oh, I'm sorry.

If they get married.

Yeah.

I hope they get married.

Like, you know, Kelly and Miles, Aaron Rodgers, they, like, run in that crew.

Yeah.

So 50-50 in terms of marriage.

Go and do the chat.

We watched the episode of Glee Last Night where Finn's mom and Kurt's dad got married.

So cute.

It's like such a great show and such a terrible show all at once.

We talk about it all the time.

And me and Ben, we've pretty much come to the conclusion that the worst member of Glee Club is Kurt.

And I'm pretty sure that's like a universal truth.

That is not who the worst member is.

No, I know who Ben's going to be.

The worst member is Artie by far.

Okay.

Let me explain.

No, let me explain.

Let me explain.

This is my problem.

No, no, no.

Artie, if they just cast a real handicapped person, person, I'd be rooting for him.

That said, whoever that actor was, he can walk.

So all I think of every time I see him is, okay, eyesore, you can walk, get out of that wheelchair.

But if he really...

It's funny that you said homophobic enablers because the point of Glaze, like, no matter who we would have chosen, you would have said, like, you're anti-Latino.

You're anti-Semitic.

I'm like, no, I'm not.

Right.

Every single person.

Like, except for, I guess, like, my Rachel and Finn.

All I know is it was a shame

that they didn't cast a truly handicapped person.

Rachel's a Jew, yeah.

I guess Finn is the only one who's like nothing.

He's heteronormative, wasp, cognon-normative.

What's the word?

Neurotypical.

Neurotypical.

Bad brother.

Bad brother.

Bad brother.

Bad friend.

Finn.

Bad friend.

Yeah.

To who?

Yeah.

He didn't

defend Kurt up against Karovsky.

What's his name?

Karovsky.

Khorovsky.

And up to the part where Kurt is getting like relentlessly bullied by this piece of shit, like who's such a good actor, I I want to reach to the screen and actually kill him with my own two hands.

Like, he's so fucking evil.

Awful.

Awful.

And what does Artie do?

Just sit there.

Well, he can't do much else.

He can.

He can walk.

Well, I think after Glee aired, like it ushered in an era, not because of Glee, but just like times changed where it was like if someone is something, you shouldn't have like a straight person play a gay part or all of these things.

And I think that this Glee has been marred in scandal a little bit because Artie in real life could walk.

And I think if it happened now, like they would have chose someone truly handicapped.

Yeah,

they literally have no roles.

What did you say?

No, you're right.

Like they're not.

It's like the nicest, it's like a gift to be able to write in a handicapped person and cast a handicapped person because they have no roles and they choose this incredibly ugly, capable person.

Ben.

I'm sorry.

Holy shit.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I said what I said.

But then he's like so normal looking.

Like, what are you talking about?

I said what I said.

I said what I said.

Hurts my heart.

Trash talk.

Hurts my heart.

Jesse wants to trash talk today.

First and last, Toastawayen, where Ben stays the whole time.

Why, too, unhinged?

I'm bringing a little bit too much of the good guys.

Oh, is that what that is?

Oh, yeah, we go crazy over there.

If you guys want to listen, Jesse's going there next.

What are you doing on Good Guys next?

It's a great question.

Yesterday, we actually had Yvette Brown on, who was Helen in Drake and Josh from the movie theater.

Yes.

It was really fun.

That was really fun.

So tune in when that comes.

That's big things over at Good Guys.

That is big things.

She was also in community.

Do you ever watch community?

No, we started it once, like 10 years ago, and like immediately didn't like it.

I don't think Claudia, you would have the patience for it, but like Ben, you would fucking love it.

Okay, yeah, I know you love community.

I watched it when I was on and I loved it.

And then Zach did a rewatch recently, so I would like let him finish out his episode in the bedroom.

And so, so good.

Wow.

Claude, maybe we need to try it.

Maybe.

Maybe, no, it might just be like a Ben Solo mission.

That doesn't happen.

Like, I have nowhere to watch.

Right.

Oh, what do I watch?

No, that frame is literally meant for art.

In the living room and in the second bedroom, but he has nowhere to watch.

In the living chat, I can't master.

Of course, but I'm always.

You don't watch any shows that Ben doesn't watch, Claudia?

Of course I do, but I watch way more TV than Ben.

Got it.

So you don't watch anything that that your wife.

I watch only what she watches, and then she watches more.

Got it.

Yeah, it's a nice life.

No, it's fine.

I'm exposed to shows I would never have watched.

I love Only Murders in the Building.

We just finished it.

Fantastic.

Okay, Chessers.

Do you watch it?

By the way, did we get through one story or two?

We got through one story.

Okay, let's keep it moving.

Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Like, Ben thinks that this is the Ben show.

Yeah, my bad.

Oh, okay.

Oh, I'm like this show.

Whoa.

And I'm doing the good guys.

Please, we don't care.

Like, we literally don't care.

It is.

Whoa.

Okay.

Next story.

Kiki Palmer is revealing she was shocked to see her ex's comment about her Usher concert attire.

So Kiki Palmer did an interview with People magazine in this week's cover story and she opened up about what really happened when she attended Usher's Hit concert last year and how she handled the fallout with her ex.

So for those who don't remember, like Kiki Palmer was in a relationship, had a baby, all seemed well until her boyfriend went on Twitter and and was like, What are you wearing to the Usher concert?

Like, you're a mom.

Yeah, it was like kind of the loseriest thing on the planet.

And it was just like the first in a

first card to fall because eventually the whole thing came tumbling down.

And we found out what was really going on between them.

And he was like incredibly abusive.

And honestly, I feel like we, as a society, moved on from that too quickly because it was seriously one of the craziest things on the planet.

Yeah, his tweet said, it's the outfit, though, dot, dot, dot, you a mom, to her, which she was wearing like a Givenche dress at an Usher concert looking pargy.

She looks sick.

Looking pargy as hell.

So she says, For her part, quote, I was speechless.

I was at a photo shoot, and everybody was looking all weird.

I was like, Are y'all good?

And then I randomly was on my phone and I saw it was so crazy.

I didn't want to engage with something that wasn't reality and fan the fire.

In her opinion, I was just at a concert doing what I do as an entertainer, creating a fun moment.

How it became a storyline that me and Usher are in love, I don't know.

I wish, honestly.

They were, in fact, not in love and never have been.

However,

she says, as we all know, things are never really what what they seem.

As for what contributed to the end of her unhealthy relationship with Jackson, she blames the stress of new parenting.

And she says, I imagine fame.

She says that fame, it's always been a monkey on my back all my life.

I'm used to it, but I've always known, and not just with my romantic relationships, but with my family, my friends, fame has always become a burden.

I mean, that's incredibly magnanimous of her because, like, no, what ruined the relationship is him being a big fat loser, not like fame or like anything to do with her.

But this is, you know, the father of her child.

And I guess that's like a role she takes really seriously.

And she's not going to like disgrace him publicly, even though like I would fully support.

Yeah, there's only so much she's going to say, but there's also a lot that we know just because of what's out there.

So she's like addressing the obvious things while also

being respectful.

Protecting her family.

Yeah.

They're respectful to her child mostly.

Yeah, and that's huge of her.

It is.

And seriously can never be married.

It takes a lot of self-restraint.

It does.

It does.

And she's doing a lot of press because she has a book coming out.

And I imagine imagine it's hard to avoid questions like this because it was this big thing last year.

And honestly, it's so crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah, it really is.

What do you think, Chessie?

Fucked up.

Chessie said.

Fucked up.

You tell him.

Straight from fucked up.

Straight from Chessie's mouth.

You heard it.

No, like, why is he being mean to her?

No, not good.

Not good.

You're just like going out in the town trying to look good.

And then all of a sudden, your man's coming and stomping on your

publicly on X nonetheless.

Yeah, like fuck that.

Yeah, Chessie doesn't like that.

Fuck that shit.

Chessie doesn't roll that way.

Chessie, fuck that shit.

Chessie, what kind of woman are you in a relationship?

Are you like very independent?

Are you

fuck him up in the relationship?

That's what I'm going to do.

Oh, Chessie's from the wrong side of the tracks.

Yeah, I'll beat him up.

Okay.

Thanks, Chessie.

Like, are you, what's like, Chessie, what's your love language?

Like, my love language is a fist bump.

Oh, okay.

Very Sue Sylvester.

So Chessie coated.

Yeah, me and Martin,

we bump fists.

Bump uglies.

And uglies, yeah.

Well, our next story, some relationship news, because Ethan Slater, the man formerly known as SpongeBob, who's Ari.

This is, I'm like, what do you mean former?

It was a former role.

Chessie, so you know, Ariana Grande has a new man.

She met him on the set of Wicked.

He probably looks like one of the kids in your high school who was also wearing DC sneakers.

Thousands acres.

She's shocked to know that he's dating Ari.

Meanwhile, they were both like in marriages.

He had just had had a baby when they met, and like the timeline is really weird, but Ari maintains nothing nefarious happened, even though that's like virtually impossible.

But okay, she's seriously like if you guys only knew.

So I'm trying to hold space for that.

She will seriously take this to her grave.

Like, she is not letting up on the timeline being acceptable.

Without telling us anything.

So, anyways, now Ari's dating this guy, Ethan Slater, and Wicked is coming up.

He was like a relatively unknown actor.

He had played SpongeBob on Broadway, like really small potatoes.

Oh, wait, he wasn't even...

I thought he was the voice of SpongeBob.

Man, the voice of SpongeBob

on Broadway?

Yeah.

The voice of SpongeBob, I'm surprised you don't know.

He's like a 75-year-old gay man.

He's kind of an icon.

And he's probably rolling in it, and that would be a catch.

Correct.

Yeah.

But no.

So she's dating this guy.

Who's in Wicked?

So now they're all doing this Wicked Press, and he's doing press of his own, and he's being asked a lot of questions, and he's reacting to speculation that her song, Imperfect for You, is about him.

So she put put out an album last year called Eternal Sunshine.

Just want to say it's ES, which is also Ethan Slater.

And a lot of the songs are about her crumbling relationship, just like about her.

And she has this song Imperfect for You that people think is about him.

So he did an interview with GQ.

And when asked about the song's lyrics, he didn't exactly reveal if it's about him.

He said, quote, she's such an amazing performer.

And I think everyone knows how good she is as a recording artist and all that.

But I'm just really blown away by the songwriting.

I love that song, he says.

Yeah, it's like not really a noteworthy interview in any way, other than the fact that he's really acknowledging Ariana, like as a human being and his girlfriend publicly and saying nice things about her as a songwriter and a person.

Literally every question is asked.

How's the movie?

Ariana's amazing in it.

You guys are not going to believe everything.

I mean, Jackie.

If you, it's like, seriously, it's the equivalent of us dating like Glenn Powell.

Okay.

Like, I would not stop talking about it, too.

Yeah.

But I think he's like, I think this is his media strategy.

Like, I'm not denying anything.

I'm just going to like constantly shower her with praise.

Compliment.

And what can anyone say to that?

Even if it wasn't a mismatch, I'm just not sure that like the boyfriend or the man would ever not just shower the like wife or girlfriend with praise if asked in press.

Like if Claudia was like doing a movie and somebody asked me what I thought, I would say she's amazing.

Like I don't know.

Well, you know, let's, you're, you're similar to Ethan in the sense that you're with someone who's totally out of your league.

So what?

What do you make of all of this?

No, but like if you were also in the movie, like yes, that would be one answer to one question, but like you would have other things to say about yourself.

Jackie, he's such an inconsequential character.

You're right.

It's very PR.

It's PR driven.

But I think it's like a good strategy.

It's almost like word salad about Ari's amazingness.

Like we fucking get it.

Thank you.

It's word salad about Ari's amazingness.

And then you get fatigued by the answer.

So like you don't want to hear about it anymore.

It's a fantastic strategy.

When does Wicked come out?

It's like out.

Oh, it is?

I don't don't know.

November 11th?

November 22nd?

No, Thanksgiving.

November 22nd.

Okay, people are talking about it like it's out.

Yeah, a lot of people have seen that.

They keep like hosting screenings and stuff, but it's out Thanksgiving.

Yeah.

This is like a really long lead time on the project.

I'm pretty down to see it, though.

I heard it's amazing.

I just saw a headline.

I am so down to remote.

Oh, bitch, I'm first in line.

Like, I'm so down to see it.

Me too.

My husband's going.

Oh, yeah, your husband loves going to the movies.

And he's going to be excited that I'll want to go with him to see something.

He loves the movies.

He does love the movies.

And you are a good friend that you typically accompany him to the movies.

I do go with him to the movies when he wants to go to the movies.

And the movies for me are just like...

So that's really.

You know what?

Can I say something about your husband?

Like, he's so right for that.

Like, what's not to like about the movies?

The snacks are amazing.

It's literally an activity where you like, you leave the house, but you get to do the thing that you do in your house, sit down and watch TV.

Like,

it's a good hobby.

The last time I went to the the movies with Zach, I ran into Cuba Gooding Jr.

getting snacks.

Did you really?

Yes.

Yeah,

did you see Jackie?

In the Hamptons.

I ran into Cuba.

Oh, in the Hamptons.

Yeah, I forgot you guys went in the Hamptons.

Jackie, did you see that the first celebrity named in like a P.

Diddy doc?

Because they're saying the celebrities, the first one

was Cuba.

By the way, so of course,

but I want to reveal.

I want to know, like, the people, we already know some of these people are dogs.

Like, who are the people who we're constantly showering with praise?

Yep.

Who are dirty dogs?

So it was like a promising concept that, like, the first name was revealed, but it's like you can't mar someone who's already been marred.

Like, next up, Wahoo, Kevin Spacey, like Shocker.

Right.

I'm sorry.

What the hell was Cuba Gooding Jr.

doing in Pearl Harbor?

Oh, yeah.

We talked about that when we watched.

What was he doing?

You can't do snow dogs in Pearl Harbor.

You can't.

Listen, that's why he was as famous as he was at the time.

So first time.

He had range.

He had range.

Honestly, love him.

Get you a guy who could do both.

Are you okay?

Not very LLIU.

He's an absolute asshole.

But Snow Dogs, he was great.

He was great.

I've actually never seen Snow Dogs.

It's kind of like separating the artist from the art, like Van Gogh.

Why?

What about Van Gogh?

Is not palatable for you?

His ear?

Wasn't he like a psycho?

He did cut off his own.

Yeah, but he only hurt himself.

Yeah, he cut.

I'm just saying he cut off his own ear.

That's pretty nuts.

I feel like that's something you would do.

Maybe.

For Claudia?

Maybe.

Would I cut off my ear?

Yeah, good question.

If I said to you, listen,

I can't tell you how or why, but the universe will rip me from you.

Like, I will never see you again if you don't cut off your ear right now.

And it was like fully factual.

Like, I wasn't having like a psychotic break.

Fuck.

All right, I guess I'll cut off like my ear.

And like, you have to be the one to physically do it.

Yeah, but like, he didn't cut off like his ability to hear.

He just like cut off like the top of the lobe.

A chunk of the lobe, yeah.

All right, look,

I'll I'll ditch the top of my ear, okay.

A chunk,

it was just a chunk.

Are you ready for our next story, number four?

Am I?

I don't think so.

I'm ready, I don't think so either.

Doesn't look ready,

so unlike me to be so unprepared.

Okay, is it the fourth story on Toasta Wien that's brought to you by Amazon Live per chance?

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Our next story, a little memoir news.

Someone is writing a memoir.

Who?

Tina.

The Rizzler.

No, not the Rizzler.

Tina Knowles.

I wish.

Oh!

Oh my God.

I had a dream about Tina Knowles over the weekend.

Okay, Gabare Sidabe locked me and Beyonce up in this tree.

Like we were stuck up there.

Me, Tina, and Beyonce, actually.

And

the...

Yeah, and the power went out on this like fake island that we were on.

And so everybody down below like couldn't help us because the cranes and everything like couldn't operate.

So me and Beyonce are stuck in this like tiny branch.

We can barely hold our own weights.

Like it was really traumatic.

And then we finally get down and we go to like a pool party and everybody's like hating Gabare Sitabe, including us.

Like she fucking locked us up in that trait.

It was really crazy.

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Well, I guess Tina Knowles is now writing a book about it.

Good, good, because it was traumatic.

She's sharing her memoirs

and the title is

Matriarch.

Okay, you know what?

That's pretty strong.

It should be Memoirs of a Mama.

It should be, but Matriarch is a strong one, and that really is exactly what she is.

So the businesswoman, designer, and mother of beyonce and salange recently announced her new book it will be available april 22nd she shared some details on instagram saying i've always been a storyteller and it's something i learned from my mother when i had a family of my own i believe that my daughters needed to know where they came from in order to know where they were going i'm now ready to share my story with all of you so that we can celebrate these themes of strength motherhood black pride and identity

She's a good one to write a book.

I feel like she's seen a lot, but I do think that she's probably limited in what she can share because Beyoncé's so private.

Yeah.

I would say, like, if this book couldn't, you know,

be real and not just like surface lyrics,

I think it would be very good.

But, you know, the surface lyrics do get you, wouldn't you say, Chesse?

They do.

And, Chesse, who do you think is an artist right now out there who's like kind of notorious for their surface lyrics?

Blake Shelton.

Blake Shelton?

Are you saying that as Morgan Wallen or as Chessee?

He came out swinging.

No, that's his name.

Isn't that his name?

Yeah, Yeah, Blake Shelton.

What?

Yeah.

Yeah, every single song he sings.

That's like the classic surface lyric country.

Like, about the boots and the barn, and the girl, and the beer, and the.

I feel like you're thinking of Luke Bryan.

No, he's not.

I am.

I am.

I am.

I am.

Who did I say?

You said Blake Shelton.

Jackie, no, he's not wrong, technically, but I know that name doesn't matter.

Blake Shelton is married to Gwen Stefani.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Love him.

I'm thinking Luke Bryan.

I both.

I think you kind of hit the nail on the head with Blake Shelton.

No, I watched Luke at stagecoach come out with his backwards hat and the beers and the broads and the beers and the broads.

And I was like, this is fucking surface lyrics.

Okay?

This is

surface lyrics.

And the opposite of surface lyrics is like Casey Musgraves.

She goes deep as shit

and makes me feel something.

And as

Chessie.

What sort of genre do you think Chessie is most drawn to?

Honestly, Casey Musgraves.

I think Chessie.

I think she listens to Alan Jackson, honestly.

I think she likes Billy Joel.

I think she sits on her vineyard listening to

Uptown Girl.

It's kind of not a bad call.

I feel that.

I could also see her being a deadhead.

Oh, do you think Chessie does drugs?

Oh, she definitely smokes weed for sure.

For sure.

And also another correction when we were saying like the OG stan group, we said the believers, and then someone said just is for the deadheads, and they were right for that.

Yeah, that's so true.

I think the deadheads are the OG stands.

With like a name.

With a name.

I'm just not a dead fan.

Yeah.

Never was.

Are you saying that as chessie or as BSA?

I'm saying this as a BSC.

Yeah.

It's just so funny how someone could be like a regular person and then like you find out they're a deadhead and it just means they have this like double life where they like where they do drugs.

Where they travel the world for concerts and like upend, you know.

their personal live like for the grateful dead.

Yeah, it must be jarring to like have a coworker who's like seemingly boring and normal.

And then they mention that they went to a dead concert.

And you're like, oh, you camp, you do drugs.

Like, you're like, you don't, you wear ties.

I know someone that someone in my close like circle is a deadhead, and you would never expect it.

It's not about the drugs.

I think you could be a deadhead without doing drugs.

That's not what's shocking.

What's shocking is then, like, his partner, who's never listened to Grateful Dead, like, has to go on these journeys with him and travel to the ends of the country to see the Grateful Dead.

You want to know who it is?

You don't see one dead concert.

That's the thing.

You see a hundred.

Who is it?

Josh Webman.

i knew it i was gonna say that i knew it and dana goes to like campsites and okay but dana but dana is prepared for that because she is a shoomer head okay she is a shoomer head and she does go to the comedy cellar once a week to try and see ami shooter that's true she's a she's a shoemerhead but it only takes her to the comedy cellar like that's not very far like she's been to like wyoming to see the dead the dead the dead yeah i could by the way i could easily peg josh as a deadhead in the best way yeah but you'd like josh is the best yeah and and he's very straight-laced.

Like, he's not a party kid, so I guess he must really like the music.

Yeah, no, it's about the music.

Yeah, it's always about the music.

Yeah, I think people are like that with that band Fish.

Aren't they the same thing?

Like, okay.

They are.

If you're a deadhead, like, you're also a fish head.

And Pearl Jam head.

I think that fish heads.

No, Pearl Jam is pretty awesome.

I think that fish.

No, it's actually not Roger Waters.

It's not Roger.

Yeah, true.

True, Dad.

Even though we separate the artist from the art.

No, we don't.

Pearl Jam.

Yeah, of course,

don't win we don't we don't we don't do that we don't do that but fish

um i feel like fish is more drugs than dead you guys are focused on the drugs the two of you i mean they're definitely they're definitely a major player in these concerts we're young like that yeah we're yeah

i wonder the venn diagram of toasters and deadheads like what does it look like it's small it's small i think it's small but mighty

Because I think toasters are mighty and deadheads are mighty.

And like however many there are in crossover, I think they're strong but mighty.

That's true.

They're weird for sure.

They are mighty weird.

Jesse, you don't mean that.

I just

kind of like

20 of them and they're much.

Jesse's an asshole.

Yeah.

Jesse's a bully.

And that's how she got to where she is in this life.

I'm just saying, you would be a bully, too, if you were this fucking hot.

I literally have like a hair that's interacting with my contact.

I have these headphones

over my hair.

You have contact on the staircase.

Over my hair, Jackie.

I can't hear.

Do you see this?

It's over my hair.

My ears are clogged with this wig.

Okay, well then let's get into the fifth and final story so that Jessie hair finally unburden herself.

Ben's not wrong.

The wig hairs are being pushed into my ear canals with the headphones.

You're right.

And they're like synthetic and really prickly.

I was feeling that too.

So literally Jackie's here wearing her own hair and AirPods.

She's like, what a privilege.

She's very laissez-faire about it.

Air than ever.

More in than myself.

These freaking cans.

These cans.

It's so worth it, Chesse.

You look fantastic.

You do.

Thank you, darling.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

So then you can imbury yourselves.

Yes.

Alona Marr is getting personal with Google Magazine.

Alona Marr.

You don't know Alona Mar from the Olympics.

She's on Dan's.

Yes, I do.

I just didn't.

I thought it was Alana Mayer.

Okay, well, it's Alona Mar.

You're not her Ala.

Alona Marr?

It's Alana Mayer.

It's I-L-O-N-A.

I made her a Jew.

Who's Alona Marr?

I'm alone at the bar.

With Alona Marr.

I'm alone at the bar with Alona Marr.

She did a huge spread with People Magazine Some Gargie Pargi pictures, like dressing up like Audrey Hepburn, not Roland Monroe.

And she's complaining that her DMs are filled with mothers who are very proud of her and find her very inspirational for their daughters and not enough NFL players or billionaires.

Actually, zero.

No, that's so fair because her thing is that because she's a ruggedly player, she's like built different.

She doesn't look like a, you know, a stereotypical like feminine woman.

She's very built.

She's more jacked.

She's stronger than a lot of the guys that she dates.

And a lot of people find that intimidating on On Dancing with the Stars, she's like always doing things that are like, you know, groundbreaking.

Like she lifted her partner as opposed to her partner lifting her.

And it's true.

Like honestly, the NFL players who date like 90-pound girls, it's not fair.

Like they should be, like, it's only right that they date Alona Marr, you know?

Yeah.

And I'm shocked that like there's not a handful of guys reaching out to her,

but there's not, she says.

And she loves the moms, like no shade, and she's so happy to be like a great score for their daughters, but like she's looking for the NFL players.

And

all I have to say, all I have to say is she is fucking awesome.

She's awesome.

She really is.

I love her.

She's such a badass.

Not to bring it up, but like every time we talk about her, it's worth mentioning.

Like I knew about her so many years ago.

And now that she's being like, you don't talk about her anymore.

People thought like you're boycotting her.

I'm not boycotting her because we don't talk about her.

She's always in the news.

We don't always talk her.

Well, I'm certainly not boycotting Alonamara.

Are people okay?

I just feel like everyone's talking about her now.

Like, I don't need to, but I can do her partly.

It's like you set her free.

I got her to where she was.

You launched her into the world.

Exactly.

I can sit back and watch.

No, she's super cool.

I'm trying to think of who could date her.

Well, we could put her on our list.

Jason.

Honestly, she's going after the wrong guys.

NFL players aren't it.

It's NBA players because they are so tall.

Yeah.

Like they're, she needs like a nice seven-foot guy that will feel like he's a six-foot-woman is really five feet.

Like the six-foot-one NFL player is not where she should be.

But no, she's right about NFL because her thing is not so much her height.

It's really that she's very strong and like broad.

Yeah.

Yeah, but like.

No, but you're right, Ben.

I think she needs to expand the search to include NBA because you could have an NFL player just like on Love is Blind.

Like Hanna was talking to Nick and she thought he was going to be so big, but he's a kicker.

And he just,

what about like a Chris, what about like a Chris Humphreys?

I know he's like old news, but like his build, 6'9.

Yeah.

6'9?

Yeah, I will always ship Chris Humphreys with whomever.

She's got to go for the Power Forward Center in the NBA, 6'9, and above.

They're gonna love her.

Okay.

I don't disagree.

Thank you for that wisdom.

They're gonna love her.

She'll no longer be Alona Marr alone at the bar.

Hopefully, this reaches her.

Yeah.

I hope so.

Because we like to give like actual tangible advice here.

Actionable advice.

No.

Alona Marr.

No longer be alone at the bar.

Chessie.

We need to make Alona Marr the Dr.

Seuss book.

Alona Marr alone at the bar looking for a man.

Near and far.

Near and far.

A man who's a star.

Alona Marr went to the bar and couldn't find the man, but he doesn't seem far.

Okay, we lost it at the end, but it's fine.

Alona Marr alone at the bar.

Honestly, pretty good.

I do find it.

When to find a man, again, who wasn't far?

Does he have a nice car?

Oh!

She likes that, that alone are.

Wait, this drink tastes like tall.

What's up from?

Pear, what's up from?

Pear and travel.

Wow, full circle.

By the way, this wig smells like ass.

Yeah,

I do think like I.

What do the people do to these wigs before they put them in the Amazon box and send them?

Like, wipe their ass with these wigs?

Like, he, hey, we have a really nice wig.

Let me just wipe my ass with it before I send it to the customer.

I honestly think that that might be what's happening for real.

Like, why wouldn't it be what's happening?

Yeah.

Or, like, what is this hair made of?

Is it like

chest hair?

Yeah.

Chessie's chest hair.

Your mama's chest hair.

Ben, and by Ben, of course, I mean Chessie.

We can't thank you enough for devoting

your morning to Toastawen.

You've become a real cornerstone of it.

And I just been wondering if Chessie has any last words that she'd like to impart, any wisdom to the listeners of today.

No, look, this has been great.

Listen Listen to good guys and go to spritzsociety.com.

Chessie's kind of a capitalist.

She's just hawking product.

Hawking product for friends.

I'm just saying the parallels.

She sits on a vineyard.

We sell wine brands.

Right.

And do you get your wine

grapes from Dennis Quaid?

Parker's Vineyard?

Yeah.

Yes, from Nikki P.

Nikki P's Vin.

That's your distance.

Nikki P's Vino.

Yeah, Nikki P's Vino.

Walk out the bar with a loan.

Do you think we could do a Spritz code Chessie to get you something today?

Absolutely.

Let's do Spritz Code Chessie, C-H-E-S-S-I-E, for 20% off.

That's generous.

SpritzSociety.com.

I love that.

Bringing it full circle.

Chess, guys.

Another Toastawine in the bag.

I will say, you know, when you know you did something good like this.

This was good.

This was good.

And now, just like for a big reveal, I'll take off this.

Yeah, yeah.

Show us your final sweatstains.

Oh, by the way,

the under boob sweat stain, cleared up.

You're good.

How do I look?

You look naked.

I'm not okay.

No, I feel naked and afraid.

Also, the headphones are making the wig look even more like a mullet.

Mullet.

It's like pressing down and then fanning out.

How do people wear tight tank tops?

Like, what is the goal?

Like, it's terrible.

Yeah.

It's terrible.

It's not your best luck.

I'll say that.

No, like.

you guys.

I think we should sign off.

You look good, Chess.

You look good.

How easy is that?

You guys, thank you so much for listening to The Toast.

Happy Toast to Ween, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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I hope you guys have a very spoofy day.

Love you.

Bye.