Tushy Girls: Wednesday, June 26th, 2024

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Wednesday.

Happy swirly summer commencement day and happy beacon eve to all.

It's a very big day, the end of non-swirly summer.

Even though, as stated yesterday, we couldn't possibly be living non-swirly if we tried.

But the official start to swirly summer is here, so wherever you are, whoever you are, make haste in celebrating.

It's a celebración.

It's a celebración.

And if you're watching on YouTube, you probably see Jax is in New York.

We are swirlying in the studio.

This is kicking off our New York City week of shows.

We have a big week.

Jackie and I will be doing shows Wednesday, Thursday, Friday in studio here at our Toast HQ.

Regular Toast HQ.

We're doing shows and we're doing shows.

And then tomorrow night and Friday night, we are kicking off our swirly summer tour, our very first live show ever.

Asterisk.

We have dresses.

We do.

We have a show.

We have spray tans.

We have have spray tans.

We actually we are ready.

You guys are not.

Like if you're coming, and by the way, I feel like everybody literally in New York is talking about these shows.

I'm walking Romeo yesterday.

Like I met a million toasters.

Like I'm bending down to pick up.

He took the biggest dump, six logs.

Go row.

I'm literally, I have duty in my hand.

I'm bending down.

And some girl was like, see you Thursday.

Everyone, the city's kind of a buzz with girly swirlies night out.

It makes sense.

And also, we have so much fun stuff prepared for the show, but I was thinking this morning how like we've been training for this moment for six years like yes we do need to get ready however i believe that we are ready we've been ready we've been ready every single day honing our skills ready to take it to the big stage no and i'm just feeling like you know

It's very rare that we do something that's not recorded, you know?

So of course when you're sitting down knowing that this piece of content will exist on the internet forever, you're a little bit more measured.

Oh, you're excited for the unknown, the crazy variables.

Claudia like wants to do crazy stuff.

There's an unknown factor like and it's just this sort of unpredictability of girly swirlies and out.

I feel like I'm gonna say or do something crazy and I'm like I feel like you want to therefore you will because if you wanted to you would and I might and you should because it's just gonna kind of be this sort of like no-holds bar energy laissez-faire

that's definitely one of our like core tenets and policies of the live show is laissez-faire energy around and joie de vivre of course also like an anti-French bent so it's conflicting you can hold space for two things Thank you for reminding me.

The French language.

About my francophobia.

And our hatred for the French.

Hate.

Unless you're like a French toaster who, you know, supports Israel.

I'll make an exception.

Asterisk.

But for the most part, yes, I'm sweeping with a broad, what is it?

Painting with a broad brush.

Yeah.

Wide strokes.

Both.

Wide strokes with a broad brush.

Wide strokes for different folks.

But not French folks.

I'm so glad you're in New York.

A city has like a totally different energy knowing that you're here, you're tan.

It's it's the summer of the swirl.

And I just feel like the summer is going to go by so fast.

It's like the year of the dragon.

The summer of the swirl.

And I just feel like it's going to be like August 4th.

I'm going to be back here, like doing by myself shows in the hot sun by myself.

And like the summer will have just flown by in a blink.

Why are you already talking about the end?

Seriously, it begun two minutes ago.

Because like I just, I know,

I can feel it.

Like I'm going to be back here by myself.

Like I just know.

You never know.

Plus, you're moving studios.

Like you don't even know what your future self looks like.

Well, I am in a technical sense moving studios.

You're not in a

practical sense.

I've made no progress.

I have no plans.

No steps have been taken.

So yes, I'm quote moving studios in a in a metaphysical sense.

Understood.

Yeah.

We've got a great show.

It's Wednesday, so we've got deer toasters.

We've got stories that are solid, solid, but I mean, I guess we all have a different.

I'm realizing how the fast I have is so subjective.

Personal.

Like people will be like, how'd you not talk about this story?

I'm like, I don't give a rap.

I don't give a rip.

And then someone will be like, I wish you guys had spoken about that.

And I'm just like, oh, I almost picked that, but I thought I was the only one who, you know what I mean?

So you really just have to put your blinders on.

But you know what's so great about that is that there are a couple of stories we haven't touched on in the last couple of days that I'm actually saving for the live show.

I've like written down.

I have your sixth.

I've got a couple of things that I want to discuss exclusively at the live show.

I actually have one, but I feel like it might be too weird.

I'll tell you offline.

Okay.

Because I don't think you're going to want to discuss it.

But you know, there has been, you know, something, Jackie and I, sort of an obstacle to us ever doing live shows is like, we really can't do a live show.

What are we going to do?

Like the fast five?

We did it that morning.

But we can't do live shows of the fast five if we're doing toast that day, but we never want the toast to not have a show because we're doing a live show.

We have to be able to do two shows in one day.

So we have created a show that's pop culture, you know, centric, but it doesn't conflict with the toast.

Right.

But there are going to be a couple of topics I want to discuss on the live show that

could have been fodder for the toast, but we missed it.

And I'm actually glad because I have some thoughts.

Yeah, so I guess we could give a teaser of one segment that we're doing because we're literally talking about the segment and people will know it.

Yeah.

So we're going to do the sixth story award when it's like a story that didn't make the fast five that way.

And if you don't know what the sixth story award is, it's a concept that was heavily inspired by Lamar Odom when he won the Sixth Man Award.

It's an award they give out in the NBA to somebody who like doesn't start.

They're not like a fast five, but they were almost that.

So they're the sixth man award.

It's like basically like honorable mention for a runner-up.

And so when we do that on Patreon, it's the six-story award.

It's like a show, a story that should have made the fast five, but it didn't, but it deserves our time.

But also sometimes it's like something that you're really interested in, like a rabbit hole that you've gone down that you bring to the surface.

And same for me.

And I also feel like a lot of times it becomes kind of, or one successful six story award are like influencer stories that we don't mind up talking about on the toast because I just like feel weird sometimes.

And there is a story.

That's what I'm thinking of.

So I'll tell you after because I don't know if it's like too close to home.

Okay.

I have no idea what you're talking about i i think you're gonna knock it down okay

we'll talk about it on thursday we'll talk oh if you want to know come to the live show it's going to be so fabulous it's just going to be a fabulous week i hope everybody's having sort of a week as fabulous as ours how annoying is it to like tune into a podcast where two people are like you know so excited and positive and like you're having a ms week so if you are having a ms week like i hear you i'm sure you know a ms week is in my future but not this week Yeah, but it is the last week of June.

Summer officially started two days ago.

Yeah.

We didn't really acknowledge that.

We didn't acknowledge that.

We shifted in the sunstein.

But that's because it wasn't swirly summer.

Right.

And the solstice didn't line up with my flight.

Right, right.

I hate when the solstice.

Doesn't line up with the swirly affairs.

No, but sometimes it does, you know?

Yeah.

And I feel like it's great to have two starts to summer.

It's true.

There are multiple starts.

It's also Memorial Day.

Memorial Day.

For me, like once the Olympics start, like that's the start of summer.

By then, you've missed summer.

Yeah.

Like that's literally in Olympic.

When does it start?

It's kind of late.

Because I remember one year

we were watching the Olympics, and Olivia was coming home from camp, and I was like really excited to see her.

I know the story.

What's what's that was the story?

No, no,

going back three minutes on the podcast, I know what you're gonna tell me offline.

Okay, this is a clue, ready,

yeah.

Okay, yeah, no, we'll, we'll talk about it offline.

Yeah, that's the clue.

Yeah, it's allowed, right?

We got to talk about it

at the live show?

We got to talk about it offline.

We have to talk about talking about it.

Yeah,

okay.

Yeah.

Well, all is that to say, yeah, the Olympics were at the end of camp.

Oh, that's like kind of annoying.

We won't be together at the end of camp.

I don't know.

That was at least that year.

The year was 2004?

Eight?

2008.

2006?

I've been one of those.

Watching Ariel Charnas' Instagram story is like, I always do, but with a particular...

keen eye because she's documenting the process of her older daughter going to sleepway camp for the first time and she's like having a breakdown every night.

um but she's like sharing photos of her daughter at camp and like the way it's like killing me like i'm so jealous of this child she's about to have this summer of her life and the photos at camp so many things in life have changed but camps really have remained the same which is why they're so great because it's like this tech-free you know you make your bed every morning but yeah it literally watching her stories technology every time she shares i'm so jealous of this child like what i would do to go back to camp for like a full summer no i know they now do like i mean of course camp toast Toast, but that was only a weekend, but they do like camps for adults now.

No, I know.

And it's like the whole experience is centered around like alcohol.

Like, no, I want to go back to like OG camp.

Like, and I don't want to be an adult.

I want to be seven.

Yeah.

So it'll never be the same.

No, it won't.

I do hope, though, that she had a copy of the Camper in the Council.

I don't know if she did, but I really think that would have helped the transition for both mother and daughter.

A thousand percent.

Thousand percent.

I hope she did.

I feel like her daughter's gonna be like a little old to be reading the book like with pictures and stuff.

No, but it's like for it's an eight-year-old for summer camps, I guess.

We'll send her a copy.

It's a little eight for the next daughter.

We'll send it to Ariel and Ariel can send it to her kid.

Yeah.

So yeah, just so many exciting things to talk about when talking about summer.

One very not exciting thing to talk about that I actually like really haven't brought up because it's sort of the worst thing to ever happen to me is my birthday.

Dun dun dun.

What do you want to do?

I had dinner with two of my friends from high school the other night who both have birthdays before me.

So like they've both

older friends.

Yeah, they're just like much older than me my friends like from college that are my age my peers are so much older than me they're all born in q1 of our year and i'm born in q4 yeah so there's only like three months where we're even the same age i'm just kind of the baby of the group yeah no me too um i'm like five years younger than everyone i went to high school with um and they have you know made the transition to the big

radio

and you know they were telling me all about it at dinner the other night and it didn't sound compelling

they and everybody says this they're like once you like once it happens it's like literally not a big deal and like you just like love it i'm like okay please the only person who really makes it look and like the way she describes it like isn't so bad is tanks she has like a whole thing on like her 30s i think it's much ado about nothing yeah

it's just another day

the day is not a big deal and then also here let me Would you rather be like the oldest of the 20s?

Like you're kind of the old sister?

Wait.

Now you're the baby of the group, the youngest 30 you could possibly be.

That's an amazing spin.

Thank you.

I love that.

I love that too, even just thinking about it.

Yeah, I don't want to be the oldest of this group.

I want to be the youngest of that group.

Jackie, you've kind of shifted my perspective.

The shift?

The shift by tanks.

I love that.

Yeah, you'll be okay, La.

You're ready.

Yeah, and I will be celebrating my birthday like with everyone I love, which is great.

Yada, yada.

We do have to make a plan, though.

We don't.

We got to do a little something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is classic I know.

Then all of a sudden, like, we're getting a sprinter van and we're going to Atlantic City.

I can't handle it.

I need to prepare.

No, for sure, for sure.

And I ain't bad.

I can own the fact that every single year I say I'm not going to do anything.

This one is different because.

And then everybody makes plans for your birthday weekend and then you're like, darn, these people couldn't come.

And it's like, you literally told them not to be here.

However, this year is different.

Like, I actually mean when I say, like, I don't want to do anything big.

Like, for real.

It doesn't have to be big, but it could be something.

Yeah, like a family dinner.

A little pool party.

lavish gifts what about a pool party with just people that you actually know and love sure

i'll arrange it i heard the craziest piece of gossip this morning that i actually meant to tell and i'm just to not to be so annoying like i will not be sharing it but i will tell you afterwards and i just like i kind of want to pause the show to tell you it's the craziest i think that you should no no it's like it's actually a long story too like the person who told me like called me this morning before you got to the studio um and the person who called is like a good information you know.

Okay, I'll just, I'll bide my time and I'll wait.

Yeah.

And there's like, what's more annoying than someone saying that?

No, I'll just forget about it.

I'll just compartmentalize.

You're so mature and emotionally intelligent like that.

I think so.

I think I can do so.

Personal update.

I've had a canka sore in my mouth for about three days.

I've never actually wanted to be dead more.

It is the single worst thing that's ever happened to me.

And every time I open my lip and look inside of it, like I feel like I maybe want to take a needle and stab it because it looks like it's like big and and white.

It's fucking bothering me so much.

And I just think everyone should know, like, you're watching me and I look beautiful.

I sound smart.

You think, wow, this girl's really.

What you don't know is that deep inside, I am suffering and I'm barely getting by.

You never know what people are really going through.

Behind closed doors, like I look perfect.

Even though I feel like you can.

Don't you feel that way?

Like all those books that have like this.

Are you talking about physical books or like analogous?

Oh, no.

I actually, I think that phrase is a phrase for a reason because some of the worst books I've ever fucking read have like the cutest, swirliest covers.

No, but like at these days, all book covers go into a box.

It's box theory, book theory.

You're obsessed with tanks.

It's just kind of a tanks-coated episode.

Kind of.

As things become.

Uh-huh.

Like, there's the cartoon.

But you've never met tanks, right?

No.

You're going to meet her the summer.

She's going to be swirly summering in the Hamptons for like a bunch of weeks.

Oh, my gosh.

I just hope, like, when we meet, like, I need us to plan a meeting where like I can get to know her, not just like us over a table at a club.

No, no, I'll plan a dinner.

Yeah, I need like talking time.

Yeah, yeah, no, I'll take it right.

Thank you, thank you.

For your birthday?

Me you and tanks.

Like, just, yeah, that's all I really need.

Me, me, you and Tanks.

Um, there's the cartoon covers, which, like, you know what you're gonna get.

Yes, you know what you're gonna get.

Then there's like a woman walking away from you in front of a building.

Like, you know, that's gonna be historical swirly fiction.

So true.

And you're never gonna see her face.

You're always turning them back because it's the idea of someone.

Then there's the new books that like, you know, this was like stamped for approval by an editor high up somewhere where it's like fun font.

Yeah.

On a quirky design background.

The shift by Tinks.

No, like I'm thinking of, and this is the template for this, but there are a million like it.

Like such a funny.

Do you ever read that book?

No.

Here.

But yes, big block letters that take up the whole.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought you were talking about, yes, that is.

Yeah, this sort of swirly font.

Yes.

Yeah, even the Paris Apartment.

It's the same thing.

Even the book we're reading right now for Redheads, Real Americans, it's like font on a wallpaper.

Also, that book that you read for the the Redheads about the red-headed girl who goes to NYU.

Before We Were Strangers?

Yeah.

That has it.

No, but it's not this category.

Of like books that are like literary fiction, we don't know what to put on the cover.

It's not that category of cover.

No, it's not.

Because there's a picture of people.

No, but it's like blurry.

Like, you can't see the people.

And then it's like swirly font.

When is it called?

It's called When We Were Strangers?

Before We Were Strangers.

Oh, my God.

Like, so many of these books.

All have the same title.

No, no, no.

It's not Before We Were Strangers.

When We Were Strangers.

I'm pretty sure it's Before.

by Renee Carlino.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Hold on.

Now I, before we were strangers, Renee Carlino.

What did I say?

Yeah, no, this it's different.

It's different.

No, it's like this literary fiction.

Like if your book is chosen, you get a cover like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And also, speaking of books, I'm almost at, well, we're recording Redheads today.

Don't tell them I haven't finished.

I'm at like 90% I was reading this morning.

I'll finish it and then I'll get the outline.

We always get her done at the redheads this book was so not what i thought it was gonna be i actually need to finish it so that i can process it before the episode because there's a lot to process of what i thought it was gonna be versus like what it is and the redheads are recording irl together which is sort of a quarterly occurrence yeah it's a historic momentous occasion so email your questions about this book or just books in general to the redheads book club at gmail.com and before you do that stay tuned for a fabulous episode i'm ready to dive in we've dillied we've dallied and now it's time we do dadoo yeah i love that do dadoo the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, Turt.

You're welcome, Bert.

Our first story, the episode of New Heights Post-London Eras has dropped.

So many fascinating tidbits from the episode talking about their experience.

Among them, they're talking about meeting Prince William, Prince George, and Princess Charlotte.

So Travis Kelsey said he met the coolest motherfucker at Taylor Swift's London Era's tour show, Prince William.

He gushed about the Prince of Wales on his New Heights podcast Wednesday, noting that he wasn't sure whether he was allowed to talk about the major moment.

But he said he was there with little George and Charlotte.

They were absolutely a delight to meet.

I wasn't sure if I was supposed to bow to them, curtsy, just be an American idiot and shake their hands like sub dude.

We wanted to be polite, but Jason clarified because they weren't at an official royal event, they did not need to bow.

I am sure they still bowed though.

Like, no, Jason said that they didn't bow, but they referred to them as your royal highness like the entire time.

And Jason was like, I've never really felt like emasculated before in my life, but like saying your royal highness like really made me feel some type of way.

The way they were describing, and I had no idea Jason met them.

I just saw the picture and assumed it was just Travis.

But

the fact that Jason and Kylie did like is so crazy.

And Jason said the highlight for him was Princess Charlotte.

Yeah.

And he was like, maybe it's because I have three girls now.

But like she was so excited and like asking so many questions, like so engaged.

And he was like, she was seriously, like out of all them, like I was the most excited to meet her.

He was like, George was great too.

William was great, but like really Charlotte.

That's so cute.

And Travis's was William.

Yeah.

And it just gets better and better.

I know.

Like, I love that they have a podcast.

Like, I know that's not a revolutionary thought, but like the sheer fact, like, and this was happening during the NFL season.

Like, every Sunday there was a game and it was crazy things happening, A, with like Taylor coming on the field, and also just with the games.

And the fact that the next day they like had to sit down and talk about it, it's so amazing to be like a fan of this relationship.

And so, the fact that they had this, you know, banner weekend in London, and all I want to do is hear like a full-blown podcast recap of it, and there it exists.

It's so fabulous.

They recorded it while still in London.

I do believe it was because before Travis went on stage.

Because there was a Friday show, a Saturday show, and a Sunday show.

Jason and Kylie went to Friday and Saturday.

I feel like they recorded it like Sunday morning while like Taylor was getting ready for the show.

So they didn't recap him on stage, which maybe will be next week's episode.

That's fine.

I'm happy to have like the royal moment to have its own moment.

And then also just Jason talking about seeing the show for the first time.

He said he was literally tearing up during the 22 when this girl's dreams were coming true for getting the hat.

And he was just so impressed with her.

And the

favorite part was the acoustic set.

I love, and this is what we were talking about yesterday.

I love hearing people, mostly like straight men, who don't know like the history, the lore, just giving their sort of like watered-down take on Taylor Swift, who to us is like this complex, you know, historical figure.

And for them, it's just like the way they describe it is so much more simple.

And it's always very sweet to hear, especially when they have daughters, because I think a lot of men are familiar with random Taylor Swift things through their daughters.

So I just loved hearing Jason's take.

He loved the show.

He was talking about the bracelets.

He was, oh my God, and he was being so funny.

He's like, I just can't get over like how long the show is.

He was like, if I did what she did in one song, like I seriously would have to change my clothes.

And he was was like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I was getting tired, like, drinking beers and standing up.

Like, I could only imagine how she was feeling.

Yeah.

And so, for an athlete to respect her, like, physical shape, that's got to feel though.

JJ Watts said the same thing when he went to the show.

Also, speaking of podcasts, Travis's bussing with the boys, did you see that they said they didn't put the episode out yet?

So, the host of the show, because he responded to that clip of 10 full minutes of Taylor Talking, he said, Absolutely no clue how this got leaked.

We are working to get the episode up shortly, but the Swifties have infiltrated our cybersecurity system.

Question mark?

Question mark.

Wait, the episode wasn't even out?

That sucks for them.

I don't even know.

I saw that tweet and I was so confused.

I saw Travis responding to it.

I thought it was a joke.

I don't know.

Then the fan account replied with help.

I'm so sorry.

It was just on YouTube like for six hours.

So I thought we got a treat.

So maybe they're dumb and didn't realize their episode was up.

Like, seriously.

Yeah, but I.

Like, maybe they put it up as like unlisted, thinking like no one would find it until they set it public.

But you can find it if you're like a fan.

And I don't think that the Swifties hacked the system.

No, me neither.

You really can't hack YouTube.

No, or their email account, like Dropbox, either that, like, these people have a podcast and they like get their episodes up and they schedule them to go public at like noon on a Monday.

And no one at 11.50 on a Monday is like searching desperately.

But there's a lot of hype around this and maybe like, you know, them setting it to unlisted on YouTube.

That's literally the only way I can think of because the girl responded being like it was on YouTube.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Weird.

That's so crazy.

And like, it sucks for their advertisers.

Yeah.

But I feel like they have stuff all over their studio.

No?

Yeah, but like the actual ads, like

of the podcast you get paid for how many listens you get.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just unfortunate.

It is.

And anything else from New Heights?

It was very sweet.

You know, I never really listened to their show.

I'm like not shockingly like a big podcast listener.

and whenever we talk about it like

i just make them i watch like clips and stuff but this time i like sat down and like listened to the audio and like pot calling the kettle i totally understand

they were talking over each other so much and it was only bothering me because travis was like kind of dropping pearls and then like they were like just there was so much going on so like things just sort of went unacknowledged like when they were talking about um the number 13 someone in the studio was wearing like a 13 or whatever and Travis was like, oh, you know, I know someone whose number that is too, 87 plus 13.

And then like Jason was talking about something completely different.

So we just, we didn't get to like harp on that.

I can't stand on that, but what's to say?

I don't know, but there was a couple laughs.

There were just a couple of moments where like he whispered something under his breath or he said something while Jason was talking.

And I was like, can you just repeat that, sir, and maybe go back, circle back to that?

Yeah.

But of course, I understand.

Like, that's just sometimes what happens.

It's sometimes what happens in what the listeners find

or hear us say, like, sometimes when we don't even hear each other say.

Maybe that's what they were experiencing.

Yeah.

No, that happens all the time with us where someone will like call out something that you said or I said.

I'm like, oh, she said that.

That's so funny.

No, I didn't.

I was sitting right here.

I didn't even hear it.

Totally.

Because, like, this is a

balancing act.

No, and it's also about moving the conversation forward.

Like, we're not just going to keep getting stuck on every

funny thing.

Like, so there, you said a funny thing.

No, and if we stopped every time we said something funny, the show would never go on.

The show must go on.

That's so true.

Are you ready for our next story?

Some exciting Chiefs adjacent news.

CA.

I don't know if I would say exciting.

So exciting.

Hallmark and the Kansas City Chiefs are teaming up for a new Christmas movie

called Holiday Touchdown, a Chiefs' love story.

So move over, Taylor and Travis.

There's a new love story coming to Kansas City.

On June 25th, Hallmark announced a new partnership with the Kansas City Chiefs that will see actors Tyler Hines and Hunter King.

Actors Tyler Drift and Davis Welsey.

Literally, bring a Chiefs-inspired love story to life in true Hallmark fashion.

So in Holiday Touchdown, a Chiefs' love story,

King, that's the girl, stars as a Chiefs super fan who will stop at nothing to win the team's Fan of the Year contest on behalf of her family of lifelong fans.

As Derek, the director of fan engagement for the contest, Jackie's grinning from ear to ear if you guys are just listening.

The man is tasked with evaluating how Alana and her family stack up against the other two finalists as the pair spends time together.

It's clear there's a spark between them.

So it seems as though Alana is sleeping her way to the top of this competition.

Yeah.

It's a story about nepotism.

It's a tale as old as time.

And favoritism.

Okay, so like actually the concept of the movie is really not inspired by Taylor or Travis.

It's not like a pop star comes to a small town.

Like it's actually a cute concept for a movie.

And this is also the second time the Chiefs have partnered with Hallmark.

Oh, so

random.

Okay, okay, by the way, that changes things because I just really worry about getting to a place where it's too much.

Like, for me, it's not too much.

For a lot of people, I know they have like a different

bar for like when this is going to become too much.

So, the fact that they have done this before, like, this isn't a new concept, does make me feel better.

And it really is not inspired by Taylor, like at all.

But the way it's positioned, like, in the headlines this morning,

love story.

Right.

There's only

exists.

Yeah.

So

upon further investigation, I'm okay with this.

But at first, I was like, shit, we might be girl bossing too close to the sun.

But it's like, why does the Hallmark Network need to partner with a football team?

To use the logo, literally, that's why.

But they don't use the logo for anything.

Like, it's so...

Yeah, everything they do is generic brand.

Like, seriously, like, if Hallmark was...

Like, if I thought of literally 100 Hallmark partnerships, I wouldn't think of a football team.

No, not at all.

But maybe this is going to be, like, a little bit of a bigger scale, bigger production.

And it would be nice, you know, every time they mention like a brand in a Hallmark movie, it's like on Riverdale, how they were like, the five seasons, you know, like they're always,

they're not allowed to use because they're like low-budget productions because they churn out so many movies per year.

So if they're partnering with the NFL, have NFL licensing, like how nice that they can go to like a fake football game and everybody's wearing the real logo.

Like, no, in Hallmark movies, like, if you look around, like, you'll see, like, it's all, it's all generic brand, it's all off-brand, it's all fake.

Like, this is great.

Yeah, they'll also be able to film at Arrowhead and rock the stage at Arrowhead, which is key.

Do you know for sure that they'll be rocking the stage at Arrowhead?

Well, filming is starting in July, so it's to be determined if they will rock the stage.

And I do want to say, like, Kansas City is this, like, snowy town, right?

Does it get snowy in Kansas City?

Like, I could see it being, like, magical during Christmas.

For sure.

I think it probably gets snow.

Yeah, Missouri, right?

Most places do at some point.

I could see there being like a really cute small town.

I like it.

Yeah, yeah.

So this is exciting.

We love partnerships.

Like, I'm not giving it a Toasty Lions Award because, like, I'm still really kind of confused.

Yeah.

Um, but I'm here for it.

I would love if they hadn't perhaps cast like someone a little bit more well-known.

Like, I've never heard of any of these actors.

No, but they're really nice looking, and that's really important for a Hallmark movie.

Well, that's kind of what Hallmark does is that they'll find good-looking actors who look really similar to incredibly famous people.

Like, they're basically like casting

Fennefer Forens.

Yes, and they take people from your favorite show growing growing up, like 90210.

The sequel is on Hallmark.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're tapping into niche fan.

Like Gretchen Wieners.

She is a full-time.

Becca Tobin has been doing Hallmark movies.

Show me those two actresses.

Actors.

She's so pretty.

He's handsome.

So pretty.

So handsome.

You love to see it.

No notes.

Like.

Yeah, I'm judging a book by the cover.

When I'm watching a Hallmark movie, like, I'm seriously looking at what the leads look like.

A thousand percent.

I've watched a Hallmark movie in a while.

I know.

They've been flopping.

They got too popular too fast.

Like when they were just doing their thing at Hallmark and like no one was watching, that's when it was good.

And then people discovered it, Netflix copied it and it became like too many eyeballs.

It was better.

And so we went to Netflix and then Netflix made it worse and ruined the genre.

Yeah.

And the genre was ruined.

Yeah.

That's kind of like what Netflix does.

Yes.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Which is so random.

And I'm going to need a little bit of explaining because I know this is a big deal.

And also you were posting about it on your Instagram.

I was.

So the Hawk Tua girl.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Signs with Hollywood Talent Agency, UTA.

Oh, wow.

So

I saw

in our chat.

Olivia asked in our sister chat, what is hawktua?

I didn't even know that hawk tua was a thing that we should be asking, what is it even?

And then you explain what it was.

And it's like.

So this girl was, you know, all these like street interviews.

Yeah.

You know, people like asking people shit on the street.

And this girl got interviewed and she was referencing

Like, it's not hawk tua, you guys.

It's

like the sound you make when you spin.

And she was referencing, you know, fellacio and how the

is kind of like a signature move, whatever.

It's like, it's, you know.

And I believe she's like, was a teacher.

She was, like, the video went super viral.

I believe she got fired.

So I didn't, and she's just like having a viral moment.

I didn't know that she had signed with an agency.

And I don't know why this particular viral moment is different than all other viral moments because a lot of things become super viral.

You know, the phrase is repeated, but those people don't end up, you know, with agents.

So I'm not entirely sure, but I did not hear that she got signed to UTA.

Yeah, so Page 6 heard that the Hawk Tua girl, I guess is what she's known as, who shot to viral fame a week or so ago after evocatively advising the internet on the secret to giving good fellatio, has signed an all-areas deal with talent giant UTA.

So prepare for a book, a movie, an album, and a live experience, the Hawk Tour, in the future.

I am, you know, definitely, because this is, you know, what I do for a living, super interested to see how, because there have been a lot of viral people, and it's really crazy when you think about like things that were so viral at the time and where those people are now.

Like, literally the other day, Ben was like, Where is Damn Daniel?

And I'm like, I'm pretty sure he like donated all the shoes that he got from vans to like kids in Africa and then like quit his job and like lives off the grid.

Remember Alex from Target?

Yeah.

Like there are so many.

And sometimes those people do end up like as like full-time influencers.

And we had completely forgotten exactly the thing.

And then sometimes they just completely fall off the, and there's really no formula as to who or why.

I feel like a really good,

like, I don't even know.

So like, and I also, I think it has to do more so with the person and what they want and then also like then the teams that they put in place.

So if this girl like wants to be an influencer and she signed with UTA, I think she'll be successful.

Yeah.

But I think also sometimes.

People don't really want it.

They're like, oh, that was fun.

And they, you know, it's like a fun part of their hit

issues and move on.

Yeah.

Or sometimes they just surround themselves with people who don't know how to like make the most of the moment and then the moment passes them by and then they're like trying to recreate it for years.

And that's really like the worst way something like that can work out.

Yeah.

When they're just like constantly referencing the one thing.

I hate to say it, Backpack Kid.

I mean, I believe he recently got arrested, so things are obviously not working out well for him.

Selfie Kid.

Oh, or was it Selfie Kid?

Was it Selfie Kid Backpack Kid?

No.

Backpack Kid, I think, was a dancer in that halftime show.

Yeah.

And he like did the.

No, he wasn't in the halftime show.

Selfie Kid was.

No, Selfie kid was walking, he was in the stands, and Justin Timberlake walked past him.

Yeah, but that person go like he just took a selfie.

The bar used to be really low for like what would go viral now.

Because there's like so much stuff on the internet, like you really can't go viral that big.

The backpack kid is the creator of the floss dance, yes, yes, yes.

And I think that he was in the background of Justin Timberlake's halftime show.

Like, we should have known then that Justin Timberlake was like a topic.

But that, I feel like I might just be conflating.

You are, I don't think he was in the halftime show.

Katie Perry.

He was in Katie.

Oh, he was in Katie Perry's SNL performance.

That's weird.

By the way, I need to talk about Katie Perry because we like dragged a snippet of her song on this show.

There was another snippet released.

Jackie, it's the best song I've ever heard.

Can I play it for you?

Yeah.

It's a woman's word.

Like, it's literally so good.

And then she.

I told you I was staying open.

No, by the way, you were a hater just like me.

Don't leave me out here alone.

But I was saying, I said I was open.

And the comments on this were like, girl, why didn't you release this snippet first?

Literally the comments.

This is going to go triple platinum.

Why don't you share this one first, girl?

Okay, ready?

She's a mother.

Open your eyes, just look around and you'll discover.

You're not going to woman's world.

And you're lucky to be living in it.

How good?

So good.

And the song for the moms.

The first lyric was she's a mother.

Oh, I didn't hear that.

Sorry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I was saying last week.

Like, we need Luke Hombs

Female Edition.

I think songs for the moms.

All myself included.

Like, oh, Katy Perry, an apology.

Like, that song sounds so good.

I've listened to this a thousand times.

Like, it sounds like Luciaga.

I think July 11th.

Okay, I guess we'll be playing it on my full birthday party.

That's her court date with Mr.

Westcott.

Oh, yeah.

Katy Perry's like killing it.

She's at, I forget which fashion week is going on right now.

And she's

stunting on these hoes with all these luke.

She's like, I'm like, Lo fluke commercial.

Oh, yeah.

But she flew to Italy, though.

Is it Milan Fashion Week?

She flew from Naples to

Paris.

And Kylie's in Paris.

Wherever Kylie is, is where it's happening.

The Balenciaga show was last, and like everyone, there was like a whole

photo of like all these iconic women in the front row.

Nicole Kidman was there.

Like that was a tough loss.

But she walked in the show.

She's like, that's like Kim.

Nicole Kidman, Joey King.

I can't remember who else was in the photo.

Derek Blasberg posted like a million.

Carrie Washington.

It's so crazy how all these celebrities could be so out of touch because really like everyone is out.

All the common people, the lay people are out on Balenciaga.

Every time I go shopping, they're the only bags on sale.

Yep.

In the little, like when you go to a department store and they have like little miniature stores of other brands, it's empty.

There's not even a person working in there.

It's so crazy.

And I really think it shows how celebrities are so out of touch because like to boycott Balenciaga would be good for your Q score.

Yep.

It's just something like we all agree on.

Katy Perry, Joey King,

Nicole Kidman, Carrie Washington.

Wait, I need everyone to stop moving.

Who is this lady?

Like, she's so classic.

I like that blonde actress.

Carrie Mulligan?

Okay, so I thought it was Carrie Mulligan, but I don't think it is.

She like is Fairy Fulligan.

Who is that?

Like that classic.

Christine Quinn?

No, no, no.

Like, is it Naomi Watts?

It's Christine Quinn, I think.

No, it's not.

It could be anyone.

She's wearing sunglasses.

They're all wearing sunglasses.

And Christine Quinn does a lot with Balenciaga.

It's not Christine Quinn.

Stop saying that.

Why not?

Why couldn't it be her?

No, but it's not.

It's not on her page.

But all that to say, I'm loving this moment Katy Perry's having, and I do apologize.

Like, I've been wrong a couple of times in my life, most notably, like about Taylor and Travis.

Remember that?

Yeah.

So I can admit when I'm wrong, and I was definitely wrong about Woman's World.

It's a woman's world, Daniel.

Like, it sounds so good.

Yeah.

Oh, but there's also drama.

Hmm.

Do you know who she worked with for the song?

Dr.

Luke.

Dr.

Luke.

Kesha was asked about it.

She seemed really upset.

Like, that's very nuts.

I mean, Katie's like going to Blanciaga and working with Dr.

Luke.

Like, Katie don't give a fuck.

Yeah.

Is she okay?

But I do want to say, like, the song is good.

So, like, two things can be true.

I'm holding space for true truths.

But, like, why in the world when there are so many, there are so many like good producers.

Like, she could work with Max Martin.

Like, she's Katie Perry.

Yeah.

Why would she work with the alleged

music?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Especially when the song sounds so much like sort of like sours the song.

Sorry.

Well, the song sounds so much like Lady Gaga, and Lady Gaga is like kind of one of the most famous.

Dr.

Luke.

Peeps.

Anti-Dr.

Luke.

Yeah.

Peeps.

Yeah.

So just like weird.

Katy Perry's like doing weird things, stealing homes from the elderly, working with Dr.

Luke.

So just good to know when you listen to the song.

Sorry if I ruined it for you.

Well, do you want to know some good music news?

Yeah.

Because then we can all get behind.

Yeah.

One of my favorite people,

favorite musicians.

I feel like if I gave you enough guesses, you would guess.

Harry Edwards.

We don't talk about him a lot on the show.

Him.

Chimuzi.

No, no, no.

Like, it's more long-standing than that.

Hunter Hayes.

Great guess.

Who?

Gavin DeGras.

Oh, literally, same thing.

Is re-releasing his Chariot album.

Oh.

So he's re-recording Chariot.

It's called Chariot 20, and it'll be out in September.

And he's re-recorded all of the songs for like a modern Taylor Swift influence.

Yeah.

Normalize like re-releasing music.

No, and also it's like these songs are so good and if you just like remix them a little bit, they're like fresh and we get to enjoy them all over again.

Bringing them into the 21st century.

I feel like for all of his music is so good.

Even he just released

his last album freedom, which was like just so good and really more stream of consciousness, you know, not trying to like make it big on the radio.

And so I don't feel like he's someone who just like keeps going back like Jesse McCartney like to make a song.

I feel like this is really for the fans, but also for him.

It's like a fun artistic project to

work on your own stuff.

And when that album came out, like we all fixated on like two songs, right?

Chariot and I Don't Want to Be.

Yeah.

But I imagine the rest of the album probably has similar bangers.

Yeah.

And we all just sort of looked over because we were like obsessed with these one or two songs.

So it's probably an exciting you know, project for him to reintroduce like what he maybe considers some of his better songs.

And literally all of the songs follow through.

You know it.

Because you have to follow through.

Chariot.

Oh, Cariot.

Just friends.

I don't think I know it.

I think you do, but I'm not going to play it because we'll already like get kids.

We're already on the brink of expulsion.

Nice to meet you anyway.

Yes.

That

album.

Actually, I kind of do know like a lot of songs in the album.

Like for me, when I hear that song, like I am on my way to school.

Do you know what I mean?

Like there are certain songs that just transport you to very, very specific times in your life.

And that one, which one did you just sing?

Nice to meet you.

Anyway.

Like to me, I'm en route to the fourth grade.

Very exciting.

I've got an iPad Nano.

Maverick is waiting for me, actually.

And I've got an iPad Nano, and like the world is sort of my oyster.

Yeah, those were the days.

Those were the days.

So it would be fun to relive that, the same that we've had with Taylor's version, but it also reminds me of Demi Lovato, who did like a rock version of her songs.

I think that's actually like an example of it being done poorly and not going well and like sort of flopping.

I never listened to it, but I still stand by that I like the idea.

You and millions of others.

I like the idea.

Yeah.

But also

I don't love like a shift in genre.

No, but and the genre being rock.

Like if she had made them all country, okay, yeah, I'm listening.

Honestly, even then, no.

Well, I look forward to seeing what Gavin's going to do because he's so musically talented.

Yeah, like in terms of people really sleep on him, but not us day one Gavin stands.

Like when we go to the concerts, we all see each other.

Yeah.

And we know each other.

It's sort of like a meeting of the minds.

Yeah, like we, you know, the fellow Gavin fans.

And I'm, I'm a lower tier.

I just go passively to the concerts.

Like I don't do the like meetups with fellow fans.

Dana and I like kind of do our own thing with Margo.

But you can see that the others like know each other from the Gavin Circuit.

I'm not even kidding.

Like there's, he seriously has this ground swell.

This Gavin circuit.

He has this ground swell of fandom.

I love that.

Yeah.

It's giving toaster energy.

It's it is toaster energy.

Every time I go to a concert, so many toasters.

For sure.

There's definitely an overlap.

So I'm excited about that in September.

That's something to look forward to after swirly summer.

That's true.

When I'm back here, of things like we to live for.

I mean, I guess something huge to live for post-swirly summer is the holiday season.

And the fall NFL China Lily season.

Oh, my God.

NFL.

I know, Claudia.

Like, it's going to be a great.

Also, the U.S.

Open.

Thank you for.

Sure.

I like the U.S.

Open.

Okay.

Can't wait for summer to be over.

Are you ready for our visit and final story, which is actually some summer news?

Yeah.

Summer house news.

Yes.

We didn't even talk about this, you and I, offline.

I didn't see it until I was choosing stories this morning.

I was like, really buried.

It was.

She kind of got away with like nobody caring.

No, I'm in shock.

I'm in tears.

So Danielle, maybe we should say what the news is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Danielle Oliveira from Summerhouse is leaving Summer House after seven seasons.

So Danielle is leaving Summerhouse, at least as a regular cast member, after seven seasons.

She announced her departure from the show ahead of season nine.

She had joined the series in season two and just recently made her first appearance on season three of the spin-off Winter House.

She shared the news of her exit with her more than 260,000 followers, calling it a heartbreaking choice and sharing that she is thankful for the platform that the show has given her thus far.

Quote, hello, my sweet loves.

I wanted to share that I've come to the heartbreaking decision to not return as a full-time cast member on the upcoming season of Summer House.

Okay, full-time cast member.

She could still be out there on weekends.

Yeah, kind of maybe giving like Andrea comes for like you like a dinner.

Yeah, but I just feel like if that's the case, she's going to go so hard on those weekends like to come back.

Jackie, there is literally no way this was her choice like no heartbeat very generous of bravo in production to let her put her own sort of danielle's twist on it like yeah going out in a way that she do you want to resign or do we have to fire you right so that was kind but i don't think anyone would really believe that she would leave on her own accord.

I think she loves being a reality star.

I think she loves the platform.

She's like, she just launched.

Exactly.

And it's not like she's, you know, it took off so much that she's incapable of balancing.

And also, Summerhouse is one of those rare shows where it's actually very, it's probably the most work-life balance show.

Yeah, because it's just the weekends.

Yeah.

She said, obviously, this decision didn't come without a tremendous amount of thought.

Ultimately, I just needed to trust my gut.

If I can't put 100% of myself into filming genuinely and authentically, it really doesn't feel right doing it in a full-time capacity.

The network production I cast, and especially all of you, deserve that.

I just feel like this is kind of my least favorite way for someone to leave a show because it's giving very Jackie Gulchchneider, like letting them quote unquote resign,

but still being a part of the show in any capacity.

Because if you're keeping them around and this is a person who was fired and they don't want to be, it creates this sort of monster of like jealousy and desperation.

No, and the desperation like leads to just crazy behavior that creates inauthentic storylines.

Like Jackie Goldschneider deciding she wants to be best friends with Teresa, please.

But she did say she was fortunate enough to take a step back season four as well, and it ended up working out better than she imagined and she came back.

So maybe she'll remember that.

I just want to say, I know that she's like not our fave.

I don't think this is necessary on Bravo's part.

I think last season was so great and perfect, and I wouldn't have changed one thing about the cast.

And I do think that Danielle is this wild card within the cast because she has some allegiances, but she's like a bridge between the girls and the boys.

But there are all these dynamics with her, and especially as Lindsay and Carl play out in whatever way.

She's like weirdly a part of it.

She is, and I just I realize now so often when I don't like someone on a show, I'm like, they need to go.

But the show does suffer when one person that everyone agrees on.

Like the villain.

Yeah, leaving.

Like, even like Lisa Rinner or Lisa Vanderpump, like,

I think you can't.

It's a necessary evil.

We're not supposed to like the entire cast.

I completely agree.

Because then when they turn on each other, it's like frustrating for the viewers.

So I feel like they should have kept the cast copy and paste because last season was such a success.

Completely agree.

Nothing, they shouldn't have changed one hair on the head of this season.

But also, you're right.

And that's like the frustrating part about being such an avid watcher of reality TV is like your least faves, like you obviously don't want to see them, but they are the only thing we're talking about.

And they move things forward.

And, you know, you could say what you want about Danielle, but she definitely, especially in the last couple of seasons with Lindsay and Carl, like, how many times did we die over her reaction to their engagement?

Like, seriously psychotic behavior.

That's what we're tuning in for.

Yeah.

No, I had so many audible reactions to her in the last two seasons that made me feel things.

And that's her job.

Yeah.

So she's actually doing a good job at her job.

Yeah.

And I agree, there's no need to change anything.

So maybe it was her decision, but I really don't think so.

Well, in some ways, it sounds like, I know she wants us to think that it is, but she said,

what did she say?

A full-time cast member.

Right now I need to protect and prioritize the things that matter most to me, my company, my people, and of course myself.

So maybe she's going through something personaling?

Perhaps.

In which case, that makes sense.

Like, because I think Bravo demoting her doesn't make sense for the show.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

And it's also just annoying when they do that.

Like, if she is desperate to stay on and they put her on as, like, a friend of,

you know, the only time I think it's really ever worked out is when Luanne was demoted one season.

It lit a fire under her ass that's still burning.

Agreed.

So those are fast five stories.

And what's so amazing is the show is so far from over because it is time for

the latter half of the show, which is brought to you by State Farm.

Now it is time for a special segment of the toast called Personal Wins, which is sponsored by State Farm.

We know that you guys can agree nothing feels better than a personal win, like hitting 14,000 steps a day, creating the perfect sourdough from scratch, Jacqueline Folet, whatever it is that you define it it as a win, it calls for a celebration.

And who's there celebrating right with you?

State Farm.

Let me give you a hint.

No, you're wrong.

Let me give you a hint.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Who's celebrating right beside you like a good neighbor?

State Farm is there.

Jax, what's a personal win you've had this week?

Well, speaking of sourdough, one, I successfully brought my sourdough to New York

for sourdough summer.

And two, a friend of mine has asked for some starter because she wants to start her own sourdough.

I'm influencing others.

So I'm influencing others.

And that's the great thing about having starter.

It's so regenerative that I'm happy to give some away.

It cuts months off of someone else's timeline and I'm helping gut health for others.

It's such,

it's so flattering when someone asks me for my starter.

Yeah.

So that was a win.

A personal win I had this week is that on Monday when I was shopping for dresses for our live show, I was like running around the city so much.

I did 20,000 steps.

I think that might be the most steps I've ever done in my life.

And I probably, you know, wouldn't know it without you.

Thank you for this gift that you gave me.

But yeah, 20,000 steps.

Yeah.

With the State Farm personal price plan, you can create an affordable price just for you when you bundle home an auto.

So

Jackie and I obviously are super similar.

We finish each other's sandwiches,

made of strawberries and sourdough.

And we pretty much have lived the same life experience.

We have the same opinion on everything.

But

with our insurance needs, what's more personal than insurance?

I mean, we're so similar and we couldn't have more different insurance needs.

Like you're a homeowner, you live in a different state.

There are different roles.

You have a Tesla, an electric vehicle.

You have very specific needs i'm a renter you know i have other things in my life maybe not as much as you but other things and i need different i have different rent different insurance needs and state farm totally gets that they understand that insurance is personal and that's why the state farm personal price plan is so fabulous because you can create an affordable price just for you when you're bundling home and auto there are a lot of moments in life that call for celebration and creating your state farm personal price plan can be one of them you can celebrate choosing the insurance coverage that fits your needs at a price that you can afford so talk to a state farm agent today to learn how to bundle and save with a personal price plan.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

And the best thing about State Farm is there's so many different methods of communication when you wanna, you know, get started.

If you're an old school swirly like Jackie, perhaps picking up the phone or even driving your electric vehicle to a local agent and talking to them, I'm very tech savvy.

I'm very young in that sense.

So I love the app and the website for State Farm.

So they've really got methods of communications for all the swirlies.

Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state.

Coverage options are selected by the customer.

Availability, amount of discounts, and savings, and eligibility vary by state.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

And State Farm was so excited to sponsor the Dear Toasters episode.

I mean, episode, excuse me, segment.

They did request that we put some respect on their name.

So this is going to be Dear Neighbor, okay?

I love that.

We've actually got some great submissions.

And as a reminder, you can submit.

If you need advice from us, you say, oh, I love this show.

Those girls seem so sound of mind.

I would love love to know what they think about X going on in my life.

Shoot us an email, dear toasters at gmail.com.

We keep it anonymous, of course.

Anything that's going on in your life, we'd be more than happy to help.

Are you ready?

I'm ready for dear neighbor, bend when you can, snap when you have to.

We've got an interesting one, a tushie-related one.

I mean, we're the tushy girls these days.

Are the tushy girls.

Hey, Swirlies, I've got an interesting one for you.

I've been married for almost three years with a six-month-old baby.

My husband has made comments over the years that I, quote, need a bigger butt.

I work out daily.

I've always had an athletic figure, but it's never been enough for him.

He purchases workout equipment for me and tells me that I need to be doing more quote butt exercises.

Last night he offered to give me a massage and when I looked at the bottle of lotion, it was a butt enhancement cream.

Am I being sensitive or is this really hurtful?

I worked my butt off literally to get back in shape after having my son, but knowing that he's either disgusted by how I look or just wishing I look different in general is really hurting my feelings.

I'm sorry, freak.

Okay, I want to say something that like, maybe this is like the biggest assumption, but like, you know, I do hang out with like a lot of gay men and like tushies in gay culture, like, they're obsessed, like, that's their thing, like, they love tushies.

I feel like, like, it's giving me a little gay.

Oh, that's not what I got.

Like, but some guys, some, and by the way, that's an assumption because some straight guys like just like

our ass guys.

And did something happen to your butt?

I mean, I don't think he, like, literally needs to marry the best butt that he found, but maybe he's become a butt guy.

I really wasn't getting gay.

I was just getting like into something that my wife is not currently.

And I don't think you need to now go do bench presses and get a BBL because he's into this.

I think,

first of all, it goes without saying, like, the problem is him, not you.

You're beautiful.

And there's not even a problem.

So he likes a little booty.

No, and the thing is, is like...

Did he like your butt?

Before you lost the baby, like when you were pregnant?

Maybe he got used to it.

No, she said, like, he's always had, but he's gotten like really crazy.

But also, like, but butts are not, like, whatever it is that we're talking about, like, a husband, like, like, having this obsession with, like, a part of his wife's body.

Like, it's, like, it's not even about the butt.

It's more about the concept.

And it's like, it's like, you're afraid.

No, and it's like immature.

We've been together for so long.

Like, get over it.

Like, this is my ass.

I know, but what do you do with him?

I feel bad that I said maybe he was gay, but like, he's definitely not.

But I just, no, no, I think it's.

That's where my head went gay.

I'm sorry.

I think it's good to just throw that out there.

Yeah, yeah.

Because then she'll know if it's.

Just keep your eye out for now, like, for like gay things.

Yeah, but I don't think it's that.

I think it's more like fetishy.

Yeah.

But how come this wasn't ever an issue before?

Now he's like, get in the gym.

And I'm all for like, you know, fetishes.

I'm not going to kink shame, whatever you're into.

But like at some point, you know, we're parents.

Like, who has time?

Who has the energy?

Like, can we just go to sleep?

No, and also,

it's like, have your fetishes whatever you want, but like, don't make me go to the gym for it.

Don't bring me into this.

Yeah.

And we were saying this about something else, about the person bringing your own AC to the Olympics.

Like, you can have the things that you need, but make it your problem not someone else's it's true like if you need X to get to Y like figure it out bring X don't bring me into this don't make me go and get X yeah So there's nothing wrong with you.

And what's the best way to handle this?

You seriously need to tell him to seriously stop.

Yeah, just be like, what's all this about?

Where is this coming from?

Assuming it's not gay, as Turt said, and it's more like he's just looking for something that's not there.

Fetishizing.

That's the perfect word.

Like be like, what's going on with this?

Like, let's talk about it.

Right.

Is there there something deeper going on?

Like, maybe he,

not to make you feel it worse, but like, maybe he had an affair with someone with a big butt, and now he's, like, trying to come back home.

Once you go big butt, you can't.

I miss that big butt.

Yeah, yeah, no, big duty.

Once you go big butt, you end up in a wheelchair, as they say.

So, yeah.

Right.

So, I think a conversation needs to be had.

No, not us giving this girl like such bigger things to worry about.

Your husband's gay and he's having an affair with a big fat ass man.

Yeah, but the good news is, is if it's not those things and it's just like he likes a little tush, a little junk in the trunk, it's much better.

We've already set you up for.

Right, no, we're setting the, right, we're making it things so much worse.

Like when in reality, he's just like a freak who likes asses, like girl asses.

You'll be so relieved this will stop bothering you.

Thank God he's not gay.

No, I agree.

All right, next up, we've got some mother-in-law drama.

Hey, girlies, I need some advice.

My daughter looks a lot like me.

Every time someone says she looks just like me, my mother-in-law always says, yeah, she looks like her, but we hope she has my son's personality.

My husband says she doesn't mean it in a mean way, but I'm extremely hurt and I find it very rude.

Should I address list, let it roll off my back?

Should I push my husband to say something to her instead?

Thanks for the help.

Your brother-in-law's a bitch.

Like a big bitch.

And I just, you have to know thyself, know thy husband, and know thy mother-in-law.

Will addressing it do anything?

Does it just make you look smaller?

Can you like just swallow it, ignore it?

How often are you with her?

How often is she saying this?

Like,

you just gotta assess risk and reward.

Yeah, but I'm all for saying something.

Like, people...

have gotten really comfortable being rude.

Yeah, I can't.

And when you go unchecked, you continue that behavior.

You're almost enabling it.

I feel like what you could do is the next time she says it, you could in that moment be like, that's kind of a crazy thing to say.

Yeah, no, you have to call it out in the moment, first of all, because if you're like sitting there like days later and you bring it up to her, like you sound a little nuts, like you're something mad that she's making a mound mad of a moho and she'll be able to like shut you down right quick.

Yeah, address it in the moment and do it perhaps in front of the person she's saying it to, like to make her feel embarrassed.

Yeah, and in sort of a passive aggressive way, not just like that hurt my feelings.

Yeah, or maybe you you one-up her.

So you say, oh, your daughter looks just like you.

Yeah, well, we're hoping she has my son's personality.

And then you can chime in and say, and definitely not my mother-in-law's receiving hairline.

No, or definitely not like my mother-in-law's insulting nature.

Sense of decorum.

Right.

Something changed.

And say, or hopefully not your manners.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

That's good.

Yeah, you're right.

Receiving hairline, of course, that's so me.

Like, I take things too hard.

Below the bell.

Yeah, of course.

Well, she's fucking started it, pitch.

She's an eye for an eye, church.

Yeah, okay, Jackie's right.

Say it again.

and hopefully not your manners yeah but if you're talking to the stranger you should say or hopefully not her grandmother's manners

yeah i like that bitch then we're bitch and if that doesn't work then you go for the receding hairline then you go for the jugular yeah or if she says something to you about what you said be like what do you mean why is that different than what you said right

love it we got love it got him ready for our third and final yeah i hate when somebody writes in and like i have no no choice but for my answer to be divorced.

Do you know what I mean?

Because what they're writing in about like isn't it's not like my husband stabbed me.

Right.

But it points to such a character flaw that the only option is divorce.

Such a moral rot.

Yeah.

What's worse?

That when you have to say divorce or when you have to tell someone that they're wrong.

They are the issue.

Actually, those are my favorites when somebody writes in.

And because to be clear, like the point of this segment is to actually help people.

And letting someone know that like they don't have to go have a sit-down conversation with their husband like that you're actually the problem it's like I feel like that's helpful to them yeah it depends who they are but yeah and for me like I love like I love the little twist I'm like wait it's you yeah it's you

hi okay my fiancé dear neighbor my fiancé hangs up on me all the time not like okay gotta go by but if we're in a disagreement or he just doesn't want to be bothered by what I'm saying he'll just hang up on me.

I've been asking him to stop doing it for years, but he always says, well, you can't force me to listen to you.

Or he just talks over me and then hangs up.

It upsets me so, so deeply.

And when I finally get mad, he blocks my number.

Then I'll text him upset, and he'll show people.

He says he doesn't have to listen to me.

He's a grown man, so I can't force him to be on the phone.

I just want to be able to say what I'm feeling sometimes without it escalating into an all-day thing where I end up looking crazy.

What do I do?

So before we even talk about the moral rot, why are you guys fighting so much?

Especially like on the phone.

Most people like fight in person.

Yeah.

Like to have that many conversations on the phone where you're fighting.

Are you long distance?

No, but they're engaged.

You can be long distance engaged.

You shouldn't be fighting that much.

The fact where it's the, you're spilling over every phone conversation is a fight.

That's a really good point.

And for me, like, when you say, what do I do?

In the words of Florence and her machine, run fast, boy, you mud.

Like, your fiancé sounds like the biggest dick.

And I actually feel like when you're writing this, like, you're still trying to protect him.

You're like, he's literally a dick.

Like, he's one of the rudest people.

And hanging up on someone is so fucking rude.

Showing people text messages.

Because it's like, like you can't get him to listen to you.

So if I put it in writing, you can read it at your leisure.

I get that.

And then him showing people, and it's like, he's probably not even ingesting the message.

Like, you're too good for him.

He doesn't deserve you.

You're not even married yet.

Like, there is time.

We have found this submission at the perfect time.

Run.

Yeah.

Like, that's so fucking rude.

First of all, like, hanging up is like a nasty thing.

Like.

To do it, like, to have a pattern of doing it.

And then your response is like, you don't have to force me to talk to you.

Actually, I do.

You do have to talk to me.

I'm literally your fiancé.

Yeah.

And like, so say it was a perfect relationship otherwise.

Just he has this weird thing where he doesn't sign off.

And if the converse, he doesn't like

arguing enough.

It would be a perfect relationship if he hangs up every time.

Like, like, I know what you're saying, hypothetically, but it's because.

If that were the case, I'd say, okay, well, stop talking on the phone because clearly, like, talking on the phone, it's...

People speak different languages on the phone.

You don't want to talk to me on the phone.

Yeah.

I'm so formal.

I'm like, what is this regarding?

Yeah.

Okay.

What is this regarding?

Thank you.

Yeah.

Goodbye.

Good day, sir yeah like i'm not there to chit chat yeah i won't hang up on you but you're not getting anything from me right no i'm not like laissez-faire yeah like i'm not like you just want to gab right no now not unless it's a face time but there's no way that your relationship is perfect you just have this like phone communication issue because he's obviously a person who doesn't respect you like you don't hang up on someone you like are in love with and you respect and admire.

Like, it's so derogatory.

Yeah.

And then your response being like, you can't force me to listen to you.

Like, what is he?

Your toddler?

And it's just, why are there so many fights that this is like a common occurrence over the phone?

That's like, then it's spilling out from like IRL fights.

It's just a lot of fights.

It's, dare I say, too many fights.

Yeah.

So

it,

I don't know what your situation is.

But I think you should.

It's cut him loose.

If you can, I think you should.

And I think that you're conditioned to being treated this way because your submission wasn't even so alarming.

Like, you're just like, how do I get him to stay on the phone?

Like, you break up with him, that's how.

Yeah, it actually is.

In the words of Ariana Grandi, break up with your boyfriend.

Yeah, and he might, like, be like, I'll change and I'll come back.

And then that's your decision to make if you want to give him a chance, which I'm fine with, by the way.

Same.

Because people, it's hard.

It doesn't happen often, but people can change.

They can.

That's our choice.

But it's the exception, not the rule.

What she said.

That's our show.

And that's that on on that.

That's that.

On that.

We shall see you tomorrow.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the best of stories you need to know every Monday Friday on YouTube.

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Post all please visit the podcast federal, toasted fast review everybody because

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Love ya.

Bye.