Travis on the Stage: Monday, June 24th, 2024

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Monday that feels like a real Monday because we have work, work to do, things in which to discuss, and we gotta hop to it, you know?

Hey, Jax, how you dern?

Dern good.

Yes, this is the grand old monday the big week kickoff this week

so many weeks in one i feel like every episode is going to be a whole week well first of all today's episode is literally gonna be the length of a week so i hope you're sat as the kids say have a seat i'm sat we've got taylor we've got travis we've got jax we've got claude we've got romeo And what's bigger than the whole sky for me on this day, and we're going to get into it, and we won't dilly-dally too much because it's really like the thing everyone wants to discuss, is the royal family.

Yeah, of course.

There's like so many things to talk about.

What's your number one of this weekend?

What part of it?

Travis on stage?

Yeah.

Yours is, but like, but like Prince William is like an extremely close second.

Yeah, yeah.

For me, Prince,

that's

selfie.

I'm just, it was too much.

It was more than I could predict.

Like, I thought I was being delusional in my prediction.

Like, Princess Charlotte bopping out at the concert.

No, they gave us more than I could have ever dreamed of.

It was genuinely like a weekend.

Like, it was too much for anyone to even sort of withstand.

And I'm glad that we got like a day or two to process.

Like, I have a lot of thoughts, things in which to share.

We also have House of the Dragon recap.

Did you watch last night?

I did.

So we'll be doing that at the end of the show.

And then the other stories, which good luck to them.

Good luck to them.

But they, they're face, you know.

Hopefully they can fit on the cards.

Hopefully there's enough time for all of them because honestly Taylor sucked all the air out of the room today we could seriously do a fast five of Taylor's weekend in London we could but instead all tailored will be in story number one and then there are technically other stories

in a technical sense in a technical sense but before we get into everything how was your weekend My weekend was fabulous.

I headed upstate with my in-laws.

We celebrated my father-in-law's birthday and two interesting things happened to me that I wanted to share that I didn't even tell you offline because I wanted to get your genuine reality.

I mean, because I didn't really talk to you this weekend.

You were kind of like in the woods being a nature girl.

Yeah, I was.

I went on a hike.

Classic turt.

Really?

Turt?

Were you in a yurt?

But let me tell you.

So I was in a row.

Were you in a yurt?

It kind of was a yurt, actually.

Yurt, turt was in a yurt.

It was just not a yurt, really, at all, except that it was round.

You know,

like vibes.

Our little cabin thing was, yeah, it was round.

So that's so funny.

Really yurt.

So on one of the days Ben and I ventured out to pick up lunch for everybody and we place the order we had like 15 minutes to kill so we start you know

walking around the town is really cute there and we're in this like antique shop looking around and this like guy like normal looking guy our age like comes over and he's like

hi guys

yeah yeah guy

and I'm like yeah hi and he's like are you and I was like Wow, they just they follow me everywhere.

I was like, yes, I am her.

She is me.

Girl with no job, toast.

He was like, oh my god, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so then his like wife comes over.

And I thought, you know, they were just ready to dote on me.

No, no, no.

Jackie, you know what they said?

Seriously?

I was with Bed, first of all, and you couldn't have, you could have given me a thousand guesses.

I wouldn't have got a guess what they said next.

They didn't say we love good guys.

No.

Oh, God forbid.

Oh my god, okay.

No, worse.

They said,

oh my god, you know, we are like really, really close, like best friends with Maverick.

Oh my God, in front of Ben.

In front of Ben.

And I'm like, oh,

that's amazing.

How is he?

And they were like, oh, he's amazing.

He actually just got married.

I said, oh, that's amazing.

I had to, you know, sob quietly in the corner.

Oh, my God.

And I'm like, oh, and they're like,

they couldn't have been nicer.

And I actually was curious.

And I said, does he know at all like the lore?

Ben, oh, two questions.

Does Maverick know the lore?

Yeah.

Who cares about Ben?

No, Maverick.

Like, what does Maverick know about like this crazy story we have kind of concocted in our heads?

And they were like, yes, we actually all got together and did like a dramatic reading of your book.

And I said, oh, that's amazing.

No, that's just what I wanted to hear.

Thank you so much.

I had sort of.

Maybe it was like delusional of me.

I had sort of just decided that the whole thing just went over his head, you know, like he hadn't heard.

He's super busy.

He missed it.

And they were like, no, no, no, like he knows everything.

And they were like, we were cracking up.

And I was like, oh, that's so amazing.

Thank you so much for ruining my day.

You know, it's funny.

I feel like when you start this job of like trying to be a content creator and influencer, I think a lot of people like don't start because they're worried what like people that they went to middle school and high school are gonna think about them when they see their content.

Like that's the worst people to think about watching your content when you start out.

But then

you hit a level of success and it's like, yeah, those people from middle school and high school can't touch me.

Look at me now.

Yeah.

But now it's like, no, back to worrying about what people from middle school and high school are saying.

It was like content.

It was such a nice day up until that point, you know?

And so that was definitely a lull in the weekend, I'll say that.

And what does Ben know about the Maverick lore?

The thing is, Ben read my book.

And Maverick.

Ben's name didn't jump out to him.

And what's so funny is like I had had a whole chapter on like Ben and just dating, and my dating experience was so limited that the

story I wanted to harp on, like, my ex was seriously like a boy I kissed in the seventh grade.

Like, that's how uneventful my social life was.

Um, and so Ben, obviously, like a normal human being, thought nothing of it.

You know, everybody like had a crush in middle school.

Um, he doesn't, I think he actually does know how you and I have sort of never moved on from that.

Yeah, we're still here, right?

Just collected on the maverick lore.

It takes a lot for me to feel like embarrassed.

I'm not really capable.

I'm shameless in a lot of ways.

And I'll tell you, that was definitely a horrifying experience.

So thank you to them.

They couldn't have been nicer, by the way.

But it was just like, oh, great.

Thanks.

Have a good weekend.

Yeah.

Ako taco.

Akko taco.

And then the second thing that happened that ruined my weekend, even though I had an amazing weekend, of course I just come here and say the two things that, you know, ruined it.

Don't worry, I have my negativities to share as well.

Amazing.

So at this hotel we stayed at, I brought my Kindle, but there was like this

boom.

What?

And it's gone?

Still in the U.S.?

No, no, no, no.

I brought my Kindle, but they had like this little shared library where you can like leave and take books.

And I wanted to see what they had.

The only one I really recognized was It Ends With Us, which classic.

And then they had Sarah's Key.

Now, you and I were just talking about Sarah's Key because I had thought about perhaps watching it.

It's a book turned into a movie based on a true story during the Holocaust.

And I was like not going to watch it because I really didn't want to get a pit.

But then when the book was there, I don't know why.

I felt like I need to like read this.

Like I felt like these were two signs and I can't keep ignoring it.

So I started the book.

I'm only read 70 pages and I had to take like three breaks.

And after 70 pages, I literally had to excuse myself when I was at the pool and go to the bathroom and start crying.

Like it is, and I can't stop now.

You're going to finish it?

Of course.

Like, how can I not finish a book about something people experience?

Like, these people have to live through it.

I can fucking read it.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

The way

I fucking hate France.

Like, you seriously will never not catch me being francophobic.

Okay.

Fuck them.

That's a good reason.

It's frightening.

The thing is, the thing is about France.

We always joke as you know, I'm learning a lot about World War II.

I'm reading different books about what went down in Italy and what went down in France.

And everyone knows France just sort of rolled over and took it up the ass and was like, Yeah, Nazis, oh no, pretending to fight back.

They loved it.

They welcomed them to take over Paris.

Like we all know, weenie energy.

But this, and I'm going to pronounce it wrong, Vel de Hive.

Is that how you pronounce it?

I don't know.

It's this event in French history that, you know, they don't teach in French schools and they don't really talk about because it's humiliating.

And, you know, we all think of the Nazis like, oh, bad, of course, bad.

But what ended up happening in France in July 1942 is so

disgraceful.

And the French police really were out here making the Nazis look like heroes because

the French police were ordered by Nazis to like gather up the Jews, but they were given strict instructions, like you know, working men, able-bodied men.

But the French were like, no,

no.

And there had been rumors that there was going to be a roundup of able-bodied Jewish men.

So a lot of people's like brothers and husbands started slowly disappearing, going, you know, out of town.

So when the time came for the roundup, there weren't a lot of able-bodied men.

So the French police were like, all right, let's do the next specs thing.

Let's take all the women and children and the remaining men.

And they ended up rounding up 14,000 Jews in one night in July, very hot in July.

And what do you do with 14,000 Jews who you round up?

I don't know.

They decided to put them in this indoor stadium.

And this stadium is no longer standing, but it was this like very famous stadium where cycling competitions like took place, bicycles or whatever.

And it's July, and they leave 14,000 Jews in this stadium for four days with no food no water and no bathrooms now what goes on during those four days is so abhorrent like the conditions you can't they're worse than you can even imagine you know people giving birth people throwing themselves off of the hot off of the roof just onto the middle of the field because it was so horrible just killing themselves

people dying people throwing up people just going to the bathroom.

There's nowhere, there's no toilet.

And then after four days, they, and this is where I'm up to in the the book where they separate the men from the women and children everybody's sent off to camps and once they get to the camps they eventually separate the mothers from their children which is where I had to stop reading because it was just like so upsetting now I know through the story that all 14,000 people nobody who went into that stadium made it out alive everybody ends up at Auschwitz Birkenau which

I haven't gotten to in the book but the book takes place

Obviously, in 1942 and then also this journalist in 2004, it's a true story, who gets like tasked.

She's an American, but she's lived in Paris for 25 years, and she gets tasked with like doing a story about the 60th anniversary.

She's like, what is this thing?

I never heard of Veldahiv.

And they're like, nobody around her wants to talk about it because it's like this shit stain on France's resume.

And she's just like doing everything she can to learn about it.

You know, there are people who are still alive who like lived, oh, and it's in like a residential neighborhood.

And, you know, like people are coming out, people are coming out of their houses on this warm, sunny day, seeing 14,000 Jews in coach buses being, and they smelled it too.

Yeah.

Like it reeked on the streets of France for weeks because you had 14,000 people living in inhumane.

So I'm just starting the book, but it so upset me so deeply.

And it, like, I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole weekend.

And I just want to say, like, I hate France.

That's what I want to say.

Fair.

Because the thing is, we know all these stories about the Nazis, you know, Nazi this, Nazi that.

And I just think it's important that everybody knows, well, yes, it was ordered by the Nazis.

France did it, carried it out, and did it worse than actually the Nazis had requested.

Yes, they put their own little genesis quiet on.

Yeah, there was a lot of oomph and excitement.

Yeah, there was a lot of excitement by these French policemen.

And then when they talk about like how they got to this place, but right before everybody was rounded up, everybody was wearing yellow stars and they were kicked out of restaurants.

And then there was this, you know, exhibit put on by the Nazis that ran and it turned many people anti-Semitic.

Just that when they like lay the, when they show how the groundwork was laid to get, you don't get to a place where everyone's just showing up one day rounding up Jews.

There's a lot of work that needs to be done to get society to a place of comfortable with that.

Being like, oh yeah, we got to get rid of the Jews.

They're dangerous.

It's so eerie to what's going on today.

Yeah, I'm sure

there were some videos in LA yesterday.

The pro-Palestinian terrorists were outside of a synagogue in LA.

A kosher restaurant.

A kosher restaurant trying to block people from going into the synagogue.

They beat up a Jewish woman.

Yep.

Broad daylight.

Yeah.

Fights breaking out left and right.

There was a couple, did you see them in the Range Rover?

Yeah.

And they had a baby in the back.

Yeah.

Thankfully, the baby was taken to child services because when the terrorists show up, like with their child.

Yeah, they literally came to beat up Jews with the toddler in the back.

They were in the car seat.

Yeah.

Disgraceful.

Very similar to, you know, 1942 France energy.

And I don't know, I just feel like,

I feel like I do this too.

You know, whenever we chuck, we're always clowning on Germany in modern times and they deserve it.

And I feel like they take, they take it, you know, they know that like we're all making jokes.

Yeah, they take the L.

And they know when people are like a little sensitive to them, they get it.

However, everything I've really heard about Germany in recent, like even like months, they're doing the work.

You know, they're actively fighting against anti-Semitism.

Vogue Germany just put a hundred-year-old Holocaust survivor on their cover.

Like, you know what?

I'm going to lay off of them a little bit, just a little bit, and I'm going to send some of that energy France's way.

Like, I feel like we've all forgotten.

Well, at least I didn't know.

Now that I know, done with you.

Yeah, they get a little overshadowed, and they're happy to be like, Yeah, no, not us.

Germany, it was like Germany, Germany.

No, it was like low-key you too, bitch.

So, the book is really upsetting.

I mean, everybody who liked to DM me about it, they're like, This book will ruin your life.

Yeah, you'll be thinking about it for years, but like the most, and I love, of course, everybody knows my favorite World War II book is The Nightingale, but The Nightingale is not based on a true story.

And so, when there, when there are such compelling true stories to tell, like Sarah's Key, I think it's important that like we read those ones.

So I'm doing it.

It's going to take me a while because it's like really, really hard to get through, but I'm going to do it.

That's good.

Well, I started the book for the Redheads last night.

I did not have that experience.

Actually, I started a few nights ago.

It's called Real Americans.

And I don't know where it's going.

It started in one vein.

I like thought I knew what this book was, just like

someone telling their life story and complaining.

But it's becoming like a little bit of like, what, where is this leading to?

A little bit of a mystery, which I like.

so I and it's really long so I'm only at like 40% but I so far I'm enjoying it what were the negative anecdotes you wanted to share from your weekend oh well I hate to like you know rag on a business but I'm going to do so because yesterday we went to what it's called just to like spare other people yes like it's just opened up and on the one hand sometimes it's like I don't want to rag on this but I don't know I feel like something's weird yesterday we went to this thing called the balloon museum that just opened in Miami in the art district.

And you would think like a balloon museum would be like primarily for children.

And then, you know, some adult, like Museum of Ice Cream Vibes, where it's like super colorful and killed friendly, but like some, you know, overgrown adults like want to go have fun and have an ice cream.

Okay, fine.

Yeah.

The balloon museum was the lights were off in most of the exhibits.

It was like all these different installations that were like eerie and creepy and either all black, there was a Olympic-sized pool of balloons that were all black balloons.

And then on the ceiling were balloons hanging off all black balloons.

Like weird.

So weird.

The light, like if everything had been in primary colors and the lights were on, it would have been amazingly fun, a feast for the eyes, but it was so weird.

It made me feel like this is very mature and it's not for kids.

But like a balloon museum that's not for kids.

And the whole place was filled with children.

And I don't know if everybody was thinking the same thing that I was, but like, I feel like there was some discord on the planning committee where one person was like, this is like someone was like, you know, that guy, Dead Demna from Balenciaga.

And the other person was like

Ronald McDonald being like, this should be fun.

Yay.

Whatever happened to fun.

And like, honestly, the Balenciaga one out, it was giving Valenciaga.

And like, if you were thinking about going or if it's coming to your town, like, I would skip it.

I wish I had skipped it.

So I just wanted to like save some.

Again, the thing is, they.

chose these vibes.

So I don't feel bad clowning on the vibes and being like, don't go.

Cause you're not going to be able to do it.

Yeah, like maybe it's not for kids, but if it's not, then who is it for?

Yeah.

And then when you leave, like, there's all these balloon animals you could buy.

And like there's so many kid-friendly elements.

Yeah.

And if it's not for kids, who is it for?

Just like adults who want to marvel at balloons?

It was weird.

Do better.

I saw the pictures.

You guys, Jackie's not being dramatic.

It definitely had like a sort of dark energy to it.

Like demonic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Everything was like dark and scary.

It was kind of like a haunted house more than like a museum or a celebration of balloons and colors.

It was not a celebración.

It was not a celebración.

I'm sorry.

Like the pictures, seriously.

And all the kids and all the pictures were screaming, crying.

At the end, there were all these vignettes, colorful vignettes, where you could take pictures with balloons that were so cute.

So like, I'm sure if your friend is posting from the balloon museum, you're like, wait, this looks amazing.

Because those Instagrammable moments were adorable and that was really fun.

But the whole of the museum was incredibly fucking weird.

That is so unfortunate.

And the kids deserve better than that.

Seriously, like, who is, and I also want to know, who is this for?

It's also like in the design district.

So maybe it was for like creatives.

but i'm sorry grow up it's balloons yeah balloons i think it's safe to say are let's put that in the children's category even more so than ice cream yeah ice cream's for everyone it's a food a thousand percent but i think balloons are for children and what was the other negative anecdote no that was really the one oh oh my god but a positive anecdote is i'm just going through bread left and right i made fresh bread on saturday and i have another loaf going today because we finished all of our bread everyone is loving my bread.

I'm super excited to get my hands on it.

Oh, and the other thing I wanted to say is that this morning I was on a business call with my business partner, Ben.

Ben literally called me as I was getting ready to like go over ideas for the sandwich shop that's not happening.

Like I'm having fun.

Like I'll make a sandwich and then I'll give it a title because like this is me being like creative and violent and artistic.

Mm-hmm.

And I'll indulge him, but we'll like literally have fights about the business just because it's literally a hobby.

It's like a fun.

And it's not a hobby.

It's a hypothetical.

No, but just like talking about this fake idea, there's something like creative and fun about it.

Stimulating.

The fact that we had a call this morning talking about and arguing about where our first location should be.

Because I told you, like this is not a joke to Ben.

You can't joke about business to Ben.

Like he's excited and he's, I'm telling you, he's, he's moving forward, like with or without you.

I don't know where we landed on the first location.

I think we said Asbury Park.

Because he likes that idea.

So I don't know if soon we're going to be owning land in Asbury Park.

But like someone needs to tell him, I'm just going through the motions, like I'm just having fun and being creative.

It's like camp, I'm LARPing as a sandwich shop owner.

That's what I'm doing.

I like how you're saying somebody needs to tell you.

Yeah.

No, no, you got yourself into this mess.

You'll get yourself out.

Just tell him it's a one large LARP.

Actually, I mean, look at the book that started as a LARP.

Most great things do.

Should we name the sandwich restaurant LARP Witch?

LARP Witch.

Oh, also, there are so many names, but not the the name.

What were we going to call it today, Ben and I?

I forget.

Right now, it's just a single-shit.

Do you want to tell everyone what you're like?

Jackie decided on a name, and Ben like doesn't get it.

He hates it.

And Jackie will heretofore be referring to the sandwich shop as this.

So when we talk about the sandwich shop, this is what I call it.

I recognize I don't really think there's a world in which like letters are going up on a building with this name on it, but this is my working name for the restaurant because I think it encompasses the vibe that I'm going for and it has a really sweet meaning.

Yep.

So the restaurant as I see it in my head is called Stranberries.

And Ben is so confused.

He said, how did we get here?

How do we get out?

So it's called stranberries because right now like that's what Harry calls sandwiches.

Oh, I didn't even know that.

I thought it's dry sand.

No.

Sandberries.

But that's another one.

No, it's crailed strandberries because like when I I make him sandwiches, he would call them like stranberries and and then I call them stranberries.

So now he calls it that because that's what we call it.

Oh, I totally miss that.

And I just feel like the term strandberries connotes fresh produce, fresh food, freshness.

It's like, and it's very, you know, I could see it with like the red gingham tablecloths and mason jars.

And welcome to strandberries.

Yeah, and visually, that's not at all what Ben has in mind.

You know, gingham and mason jars.

No, he has good guy subs in mind.

He wears sweaty meats all the time.

Yeah.

I actually think you two going into business together is not the right idea.

You're too far off.

The thing is, he's willing to compromise because he just wants to make a deal.

I think he thinks like a bad deal is better than no deal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And as much, I think good guy subs is a great idea.

I can't be a part of it because I have nothing to do with that.

Yeah.

Like it's not me.

Yeah.

So that's where we're at, creative difference wise.

And I know we said we went into Dillage Alley, but that's exactly what we've done.

It is, as we always do.

But I'm going to make an executive decision.

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Great.

Thank you, La.

Our first story, Taylor Swift Eras Tour London.

Let's start with the number one in most people's hearts and minds.

She brought Travis Kelsey on stage as a surprise guest during the third London Era's tour show.

So before she sings the song, I can do it with Broken Heart, she does a little skit, apparently.

I wouldn't know because I haven't been spoiling the concert for myself on TikTok all this time.

And for the last show, Travis joined the skit.

So the skit is essentially right before the song, I can do it with a broken heart.

And during the skit, she's like, no, I don't want to do it.

Like it's very emblematic of the song that's about to come.

And her dancers are like shaking her and, you know, putting her new outfit on, brushing her hair, being like, bitch, get ready.

And when the dancers come out, there's usually three of them, I think.

The third one was Travis.

And seriously, like the videos that that that have come out and they're still coming out are so crazy because the audible like gasp,

the shookness, like you can hear it.

People were not at all expecting.

I mean, Taylor is so

in, you know, in recent memory, so private about her relationship.

She barely walks red carpets, but so to even fathom that her boyfriend would come on stage is so not even, nobody could have even conjured it up because it's so out of the realm of possibility that when it did happen we choked I was choking people were I my phone was blowing up she brought him on stage I'm like no what okay what are people saying what the camera turned to him I was like there's no way he's physically on stage

and

he was he did a great job own costume bespoke he had his own little dance louboutin louboutins fresh

and he was one of the dancers he like picked her up brought her to like the other dancers and they fixed her makeup.

And he had a makeup brush.

It was, it takes a lot to shock me.

I was shocked, honey.

I was in tears.

I was shocked.

Yeah.

Now, it's like not that crazy when you think about how, like, you know, she stormed the field.

Like, remember when we were like, Taylor's on the field?

Shawtis is on the stage.

Yeah.

It's the equivalent of, you know, supporting your partner.

I

it's funny.

It's like Ben coming out at one of our live shows.

Exactly.

And after

the whole weekend of him like being a star, you know, he was entertaining friends and family in the VIP 10.

He really was kind of being like, you know, first gentleman, energy.

Yeah.

And it was such a fabulous weekend for him.

His brother was there.

Kylie and Jason were at the first two shows.

Like, so you just,

I honestly, like, I have no words.

Yeah.

Really, really,

really cute.

Really cute, really shocking.

and then up until that point there had been so many newsworthy things like about them you know she was pointing to him she did his archer pose that he does when he scores a touchdown they were literally just like staring at each other it wasn't even like coded or easter eggs it was just like that she literally might as well point him and like hey Travis I love you yeah like that's my man like it was

shocking in its um what's the opposite of subtle overtness overtness

because Taylor's never been like that and even in this relationship, she has been like that.

So it shouldn't shock us, but it still does.

But it's just like most relationships where there's just stages.

Now they have different stages to hit, but it's like they're at the stage.

First, he comes to a show.

Then he's seen at the show.

Next, he's pointed at the show.

Charma Shagaya and the Chiefs.

Charma Shagaya and the Chiefs.

And now he's on stage.

What's next?

Literally a duet.

Yeah.

What could even be more than this, aside from like engagement and getting married, but like in a professional sense that he could do?

They literally, like during the Sacred Songs, bring him up and they harmonize to you've got to fight for your right to party.

Like, that's next.

Literally.

That's next.

Super cute.

And I love how, like, you know, she came to his game, Storm the Field, and it was like, I forget who they even played.

It was all about Taylor.

And he obviously loved that.

And now, like, he came to her.

It's all we're talking about.

And it's not weird.

It's like really the definition of having like two equal, you know,

partners who really support each other.

And it's not like, it's not weird.

It's not like insecurity.

Cause I feel like in the past, this would never happen for a number of reasons.

One, like a partner who's super private wouldn't want to do something so public.

Two, Taylor wouldn't want to make her relationship like something for the public.

Like I feel like nobody would have wanted this.

Not even talking about Joe.

I'm talking about literally any person.

She's never brought a partner up on stage, like even Calvin Harris to be on the ones and twos, fricka, fricka.

And it is really crazy that like this monumental weekend happened in London.

Now, obviously, London's just like a major city in Europe, and it's also a city that Taylor's like deeply connected to and has a lot of songs about.

So, it makes sense that all this hoopla would have been for that.

There are certain cities, like you know, when she did SoFi, it was going to be a big deal, and there were a bunch of surprise things over there.

You knew when she did New York, it was going to be like certain cities are tailor-coded, and London is one of them.

But it's got to hurt that you know, her most recent long-term relationship

took place there.

Yeah, but also, Maddie is a London boy.

Harry Styles, Calvin Harris, is he Australian?

Is he

got an accent?

Does he?

Yeah.

Well, yeah, I feel like you could always say, oh, this was like directed at Joe, but then like Maddie puts a layer of confusion into everything, which is good.

Like same with TTPD.

It's like, is it Joe or Maddie?

It takes the pressure off of Joe, which I'm happy for him because like he can't handle it, okay?

No, and the thing is, is that in so many ways, nothing that's happened in the last year is about Joe Alwyn.

It's literally all about Maddie Healy.

Like on the car ride home from upstate yesterday, I listened to TTPD again, like from front to big, front to end in full.

And the way there's like two Joe Alwyn references and like a thousand Maddie Healy ones is so crazy.

And I actually do feel like it's meant.

I'm sure she could write a million songs about Joe.

It was a very profound, you know, part of her life.

But I do feel like it's, you know, her way of protecting that time in her life.

Like even though it didn't work out, it was an important relationship.

And then, you know, one of Matty Healy's exes was at one of the shows last night in Taylor's VIP tent.

Like

it's, it's, it's more Maddie Healy than anything, but everybody automatically, you know, sees a picture of Taylor with the Prince of England, and they're like, Joe.

Yeah, yeah, it's very true.

Also, she sang, I could do it with a broken heart.

She sings it right after Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.

So it's like, her heart is broken.

She needs to be picked back up by Travis from the smallest man who ever lived, who is Maddie.

No, no, she's literally like, she's telling, like, she's not, like I said, there's no subtlety here.

And she's always been known for being like, this could be about anyone or anything.

And I think a lot of people have thought over time, like the meaning of songs has changed, actually.

They're like, wait, no, it's not about that.

It's about this.

But right in this moment, she's being incredibly direct and clear about what's going on.

Unrelated question.

What is, who is, but daddy I love him about?

Maddie Healy.

But then when you listen to the very end of the song, it ends up being about

Travis.

Okay.

Because it's like, but daddy, I love him, but daddy, I love him.

And then when she's singing about me and my boy and all this wild joy, the last chorus, she changes some of the words and it's about

Travis.

Okay, thank you for that.

Also, we're going to get into everyone who attended every night, but the headline of guests who attended, Prince William, Princess Charlotte, Prince George, in the

as predicted by us, singing to shake it off, we literally said, and they went backstage, which as Travis knows, no one goes backstage, but I like it just shows immense respect for the royal family, but like mutual respect.

Because when I saw that selfie of Travis, Taylored, William Charlotte George it's like I couldn't even tell you who was the most excited to be in that picture and who's the least excited like every Charlotte Charlotte was the most you think Charlotte was the most you don't think William was so excited being like I'm dad of the year F you

know the crazy thing about that is and we were just talking about that like remember when Prince William or no Prince Charles was it wanted to No, it was William wanted to meet Kevin Costner.

When you're royal, like you want to meet someone, you summon them to you.

You don't go to someone.

They come to you.

The fact that like he got his whole whole family out of the house and went to Taylor's like such a sign of respect.

And we know that historically they've been friends, so it's not shocking, but just seeing them like at somebody else's place is shocking.

We're like, they're not in control.

Yeah, but you know, Charlotte was like, I am abdicating if you don't take me to Arras London.

But daddy, I love her.

I love her.

I love her.

That photo really shook me to my core for a million reasons.

No, one was one of the pictures that like stopped me in my tracks, especially because I saw it organically on my own.

I woke up at Follow Prince and Princess of Wales, and I saw it in feed by them.

Not even someone's commentary being like, oh my God, I'm like, what the fuck?

I saw naturally in feed, but from Taylor, which was, I think, even more shocking, honestly, because she doesn't post any, she doesn't post selfies.

Like, no,

promotional

from her shows and the artwork from her albums.

And I didn't know where to look first because just eating a selfie, like a regular looking photo of Taylor Swift is so jarring.

The fucking royal family.

And then I was like, oh my God, Travis.

And then the longer you looked at the photo, the more there was to glean.

Travis with his U.S.

Olympic, Team Olympic, Team USA Olympic hat,

obsessed.

The hat that he wore all weekend long, basically just be like, fuck everyone here.

I seriously, like, I could not stop looking at places.

And then I was also, I was like, this is clearly before the show.

And the first outfit she wears is like this bodysuit.

There's no way she was just wearing this bodysuit.

So I'd go back and look again.

She put on the blazer that she puts on after the bodysuit for the man.

So she wore like a full blazer dress, but I was like, she probably had to put that on because she just probably walks around the stadium before, like 10 minutes before the show, in her bodysuit.

So they met her before the show.

Yes, like her full glam.

You could always tell because her hair is curly.

Oh, that's so true.

And her makeup was perfection.

She looks like a last figure, Madame Trousseaux.

By the way, did I say that to you?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Because I was like, oh my God, I actually thought it was a Madame Toussaux something

my first instinct because she looked perfect.

And then also there was the video of William singing Shake It Off in the Box dancing like as people say Chandler Bing.

Yeah, he was getting after it in the movie.

He was getting after it.

And it's so funny.

Like what they did in one night for like the Royal Family's Q score,

years of intentional press strategy could never do.

I mean, there's something so relatable about not only Taylor's fit, but just like music, you know?

Music brings people together.

And just like dance like no one's watching, you know?

He was certainly dancing like no one was watching.

That's not how I would think he would dance.

I'm obsessed.

Me too.

I'd love to see him just like let it go.

He's had a rough few years.

For sure.

Also, what's so crazy is how Shake It Off, and I feel like for you and me, it's like the worst song in Taylor's catalog, but it's a bathroom song.

At Era's, like, it's lit.

Then let's go into the VIP tent because not only was Prince William getting after it during Shake It Off, but there was a video that was going viral of the VIP tent during Shake It Off.

Like it was jumping.

It was jumping with A-listers, Ashton and Mila.

Tom Cruise.

By the way, not Tom Cruise gone to the era store and like literally that same exact moment, Surrey's graduating from college and like Katie Holmes is there.

It's like, tell me you don't talk to your daughter without telling me you don't talk to your daughter.

From high school, yeah.

Yeah.

Did I say college?

Yeah.

He was there.

And then also, so I kept seeing this girl in the video.

She looks like Michelle Randolph.

I'm like, who is that?

She's obviously a famous person and she's quite beautiful.

Turns out it's Gabriella Brooks, who's Maddie Healy's ex of like five years.

So her and Taylor have a lot to talk about.

And now she dates Liam Hemsworth, who was also there.

Obsessed.

I know, but it's just not good for Miley Taylored relations.

It's fine.

It's fine.

But like Taylor always is like extremely gracious with tickets.

But, you know, she had double, she had two tents this time because like there were so many famous people who wanted to come.

Every single night.

They had two every single night.

Cape Blanchette, Paul McCarthy.

So here, I'm going to go through the list.

Entertainment Tonight did a, here's a big list of who was at the concerts.

Thank you to Entertainment Tonight.

Night one, Cara Delabine, classic.

Nicola Coughlin, no comment.

Jonathan Van Ness,

Jason and Kylie Kelsey, both nice.

Right.

Travis Kelsey, of course.

Scott and Andrea Swift, of course.

Salma Hayek.

His list is annoying.

Salma Hayek.

I saw that.

I didn't see that one.

Leslie Mann.

Yep, I saw.

She could have have gone under the radar because I saw her in a video.

No one was talking about it.

Prince William, Prince George, and Princess Charlotte.

Of course.

Erin Andrews and Carissa Thompson.

Oh.

It looks like they were.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, and

hmm.

I think she was with Kylie Kelsey.

Don't quote me on that, but that makes sense.

Little women in sports.

Additionally, Stella McCartney was there.

Of course.

Night two: Travis Kelsey,

Jason and Kylie, Tom Cruise, as stated.

So strange.

Miela Kunis and Ashton Kutcher and their kids.

Liam Hemsworth and Gabriella Brooks.

Greta Gerwig, Rachel Zegler.

Uh-huh.

Theo James.

Oh, yeah.

Additionally, Jamie Dornan was there.

Night three.

Travis Kelsey.

Sophie Turner and Gracie Adams.

And then Gracie went on stage for the.

Gracie Adams?

Abrams.

I should know that because she's J.J.

Abrams' daughter.

And for some reason, I can never forget that.

Yeah, no, I mean, what do you mean?

Who could?

I feel like sometimes, like, I forget, not that often, but like, it's forgettable that Lily Collins is Phil Collins' daughter.

I guess.

I cannot separate Gracie from JJ, and I feel bad about that.

Every time she puts out a song, I'm like, is this good or is she J.J.

Abrams' daughter?

Both.

Okay.

Paul McCartney.

My queen.

That isn't a part of the royal family.

Ellie Goulding.

Yeah.

John Bon Jovi.

Yep.

Phoebe Waller Bridge and Andrew Scott.

Yep.

Blanchit Kate.

Mm-hmm.

And that's it.

No, it was really crazy the amount of famous people who went.

But I need to know, like, if you're a famous person, obviously, like, Tom Cruise is going in the VIP tent.

But, like, there were some names there that I was like, oh, I'm surprised she's, like, let you in the tent and you didn't have to get a ticket.

And then there's some people who buy a ticket that I'm like, why weren't you in the tent?

Okay, totally.

Because when me and Margo went the first night at...

MS, what's called MetLife, Kate Upton was like a few rows behind us.

And somebody must have figured it out because she left and never came back.

So before the show even started, she was obviously taken to the tent.

I think it's just about like who your publicists are.

Like if you can get in contact, I feel like if you're a recognizable person and you ask, she says yes.

But maybe some of them don't ask.

So like, no, I'll just get my own ticket, you know?

Yeah.

Because there's a lot of celebs there.

Like she's pretty generous.

Yeah, she is.

I mean, it behooves her because it's newsworthy and it's just buzzy.

And then we're talking, you know, again about the city.

No, but it really behooves the celebs.

Like if you can get into that tent, like you're going to have a good press week.

No, and the funny thing is, like, it's just every person in their life, whether it's you know, Kate Blanchett herself or Kate Blanchett's, you know, daughter,

is gonna, like, if you're gonna have one, you have a famous person in your life and you have one favor to ask, you're gonna ask for Eris tour tickets.

Like, that's everyone phones in their celebrity favor.

So, whether the celebrity themselves is a fan or not, like, there's gonna be a million celebs at every show, but London obviously is also a hotspot for celebs.

And I would love to know who they've said no to.

Same.

That's the list I want.

Same.

Okay, well, our next story is a little tailored adjacent.

Okay, is there anything else from Eras that we need to discuss?

Let me just think.

Loved every minute of it.

Yeah.

I feel like they went out last night.

Yeah, they did.

I feel like there was something, though, and I was like, I'm going to forget this if I don't pull a tab open, but I have too many tabs open.

It'll come out to us.

If.

I don't know.

I feel like we got everything with all the surprise guests.

Yeah, great.

Oh, Oh, Paramore, Haley Williams, came in saying Castle's Crumbling.

The, you know, every, like, she gives her all to every show, but certain cities have like a special sparkle to them.

And I think everybody knew London was going to be one of them.

And it did not disappoint, you know?

Yeah, it did not.

It was more than I thought.

Like, when you were like, Monday's going to be a big day because of London eras, I'm like, okay, big day.

Yeah.

By the way, it was more than I thought too.

Like, because nobody could have.

conceptualized any of these things.

Yeah.

Like maybe the royal family would have attended and we would have gotten one blurry video of them in the box.

Never did I imagine high-definition backstage photos.

And I just want you to know like that would have been so much for me.

Just knowing that they attended and there was a blurry video.

Like even if it was just, and even if they weren't dancing with their whole heart.

Right, heart.

If they were dancing half-heartedly.

Yeah.

I'm not going to talk about Prince Williams P.

I know, I know.

That's why I didn't say it either.

Yeah.

I didn't say it either.

Our next story, as Claudia aforementioned, Suri Cruz graduated high school this weekend with her mom, Katie Holmes, while Tom Cruise was at the Errors tour, London.

And notably, she dropped her last name from the procession.

So

it listed Suri Newell, Noel, as a graduate from LaGuardia High School on Friday with her mom by her side.

She could be seen ringing the milestone by snapping pics with her mom and friends in New York City where she resides.

I mean, big news regardless.

But then, of course, coupled with Tom at Errors, which I think they have no relationship.

That's what everyone has said.

So I do not think Tom knew that Surrey was graduating that day.

Why would he know?

By the way, they don't have a relationship.

That's like a core tenant of Scientology: if someone in your family or anyone who leaves the religion is considered an SP, a suppressed, a shunned person, and you're not allowed to talk to them.

That's why Nicole Kidman's kids with Tom Cruise do not speak to her because she left.

And that's what, you know, I feel like you can add this to my list of favorite stories in the Keith Urban lyric that he references, Blue Ain't Your Color, like what kind of man turns his kid and makes them ice cold?

It's devastating but i think for a lot of people this might have been their way of finding out that tom and surrecruise don't have a relationship but if you know a little bit about scientology you know like you can't yeah doesn't and he's like he's the most serious scientologist on the planet yeah head king right he like invented it doesn't surrecuz graduating high school make you feel old like we remember when she was born yeah yeah it does make me feel old except i literally thought she had graduated college so now i'm feeling kind of young yeah yeah yeah it does look very collegey yeah and and I'm surprised she went to LaGuardia.

She's going to pursue LaGuardia is a, like, a performing arts school.

Well, she's got the arts in her blood on both sides.

I love Katie Holmes.

Like, everything I know about her, like post-Tom Cruise, like everything I learn about her makes me like her more.

I think she's like an incredibly devoted mother.

I think she's like really normal and cute.

And I think she like wakes up every day grateful to the Lord above that she got out of whatever the fuck was going on during her marriage to Tom Cruise, which was probably like the worst time in her life.

Yeah.

And the fact that she was able to get her daughter out, I mean, every time I see her, she's smiling.

It's not surprising.

You would too.

Yeah, but remember when Suri Cruz, like as a child, was the biggest steel, like the biggest steel child?

Yes, no, no, no.

You could not open a newspaper without seeing a picture of like this young brunette child.

They were obsessed.

I think

we weren't like super socially conscious at the time.

Right, but I remember like the level of hype for Suri Cruz as a child.

Same.

And now I think I can glean why.

It's because at the time, Tom Cruise was like a, like a Miles Teller, like the biggest movie star, A-list, A-list.

And Katie Holmes was like this girl on the rise.

She was like on her way to becoming this starlit.

And he just like snatched her up.

And I think a lot of people were like, why?

Yeah.

So it was like, it was confusing for the culture.

So everybody just became obsessed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was a crazy time.

And I've said it once, I've said it again.

They can't make me like Tom Cruise.

Even him going to Eras tour, which of course is like the number one way to endear me to someone.

Like, get out of that tent, Smelly.

Like, you're not, it's not for people like you.

I feel like you were liking him more recently.

No, they tried to make me like him with Top Gun.

It didn't work.

I feel like he did something recently.

Oh, his coconut cake?

I know.

No, I was just talking about his coconut cake.

If there's one person who could make you like Tom Cruise.

It's Tavis.

It's Miles Teller.

Yeah.

No, that's what I said.

That loves him.

Jackie, that's what I said.

They're trying.

Everyone.

They're trying, but it won't work.

Our next story is is that someone that they'll never make you like.

Justin Timberlake?

Justin Timberlake.

A little update on Justin Timberlake's bad week.

So Justin Timberlake broke his silence on his DWI arrest during his concert, a part of his world tour, the tour in Chicago on Friday night.

And his concert's making news for a lot of reasons.

One, he spoke about the DWI.

And this is what he said.

He said, it's been a tough week.

He said, it's been a tough.

Just putting it mildly.

He said, it's been a tough week.

I know I'm I'm hard to love sometimes, but you keep loving me right back.

He added that all his fans too have faced ups and downs and left and rights.

Don't like compare us to you, you know?

Like, we don't do that.

Well, the people in the stadium arena

are

probably like, yeah, Justin, we've all been there.

Right.

Some more news is that the bartender from the hotel that he had dranks at said that he did have one martini.

However, we all saw the mug shot.

And two, there's video footage from his concert going viral of him like doing crowd work.

So he's up close with the fans.

And he looks like nutty.

He look, but I had, I had then heard that that was like an old piece of footage.

Oh, really?

Yeah, like it went viral and people were like, oh my God, look, he looks like he's on cocaine.

And then it turned out to be like an old video.

Oh, I got got.

Yeah, I got got too.

Having said that, that video still is real.

Like, it's no, but to like be like fresh out, the slammer and looking like that, like, there's an issue.

Also, another piece of news that people are.

People were saying he was like still fucked up from the hands of the bender.

But it's like, when it's been two days, and like, I do think he had, like, a low number of drinks.

He was just, like, not sober.

But also, I don't think he might have a bender.

That he was stopped

before he was actually officially arrested.

He was stopped a little bit before and like given a warning.

So, like, Colin Uber.

I also heard that the concierge at the hotel like called the police and said to look out for him because they were worried he was going to get behind the wheel.

Okay, like the more we learn, the more we know.

Like I said.

Hey.

But what do you think about the bartender saying he only had one martini?

Well, he could have only had one martini at your facility.

Like that doesn't mean he had only one martini in the whole city.

Well, no, he was only at that one place.

But I agree.

Like maybe.

But he might have showed up drunk, too.

And he also might have ordered only one martini from you then at the table do you know what he drank you probably do because you're making justin timber leaks drink but like maybe he drank everyone else's drinks too not only that like a martini can be demonic what he had one martini

what he eat that day and maybe he had taken a xanax to calm down for the world tour like you never know what's in your system

what mixes perhaps he was having an allergy attack and he took a clariton and it mixed poorly with his kettle one martini especially if he took a clariton d like you do not fuck with the d exactly they say you can't operate heavy machinery on pseudofed maybe you took a pseudofed pseudo-Fed.

It's so true.

I learned that in my, this is my like repeated stories.

You can add it.

Yeah.

In my five-hour driving course about like drug and alcohol awareness, all of the things that I learned about drunk driving, not to drunk drive.

I learned a lot of things.

So yeah, being on any sort of medication can really mess with you.

For me, like I get, and I've only, it's only happened once because it was like scary.

Like I get fucked up on Advil PM.

Like I was hallucinating with Theo.

It's like Nyquil.

Yeah, but like, NyQuil, I just like feel a little woozy and I go to sleep.

Like, having actual awake hallucinations with Advil PM.

Oh, no, Nyquil is drugs.

Hard drugs.

NyQuil is drugs.

You know what I fuck heavily with, though?

Z-Quil.

Like, to me, I associate NyQuil.

It's like, oh, I'm, don't look for me for 12 hours.

Yeah.

And I feel like Advil PM is like actually a little bit of a lighter version of that.

No, no, no.

Advil PM, I feel like, is a lighter.

It's crazier than like

meth, for real.

At least that's that was the experience that I had.

Like, you have to ask Ben.

I remember in my old apartment, like, I think if you don't fall asleep in a certain amount of time, like

the dreams you would have if you were asleep, like our hallucinations in real life.

I was having the craziest conversation with Ben, like, so high on drugs.

It was really probably the closest I've ever come to like heroin.

That's like Kwaludes.

If you fight them,

you'll go high.

We all saw Wolf of Wall Street.

Correct.

You'll go high.

How did we get here?

Justin Timberlake.

Drug awareness.

Right, right, right, right.

Not too, not a far leap.

So, like, him only having one martini truly means nothing to me.

Because, honestly, one having one beer, I'm so nuts.

If somebody has one beer, I won't get in the car with them.

Although, like, I do know like having one beer doesn't really impair you.

Um, one martini is like

four beers, in my opinion.

So, yeah,

it's just a cup of vodka.

They're like, one martini, it's a cup of vodka.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Number four.

Yeah.

Okay.

Elon Musk quietly welcomed baby number 12, his third, with Neuralink Corp Siobhan Zillis earlier this year.

What about crimes?

So he has three babies with Siobhan, who works for Neuralink, but they are not in a relationship.

This is what I learned from his book.

They had twins.

They welcomed twins together a few years ago, and now they just welcome baby number three.

And I think it was all through IVF.

The first two were, so I think the third was two.

I don't think it ever became romantic.

I don't think they're stubborn.

She was just giving away sperm.

Yeah, because she wanted to be a mom and he wants to populate the earth.

Right.

And I guess like, I know it's like a running joke.

He has a million kids, but you know,

that brain is once in a generation.

Right, it's like you couldn't go to the sperm bank and find such a donor.

And he's giving it out for free.

It's really crazy.

I have to imagine it'll have an impact on the next generation of scientists.

Yeah, I think some of his kids are very scientifically inclined already both nature and nurture right right right because like

when he first got shiobhan pregnant like you know non-sexually with twins shiobon and grimes were friends and grimes didn't know so that was a little ako taco

the the things grimes and now it's like we're friends and now all of a sudden we're raising siblings no we're friends and sister wives yeah but at least he wasn't like having an affair also his og wife elon the one he had his first five kids with,

she just got remarried.

No, Talul Riley just got remarried.

He married her twice.

They didn't have kids together, and that's his second wife.

That's like so crazy that he married someone he didn't have kids with because it's like clearly his hobby to have children.

Yeah, what I got from his book was that like they're the right ones for each other in this world, but like, you know, extenuating circumstances mean that they can't be together.

Right person, wrong time.

Right, yeah.

So she's actually married to to that guy that boy, well, he's not a boy anymore, but he was in love actually.

He was in

Queen's Gambit, Thomas Brody Stanger.

He was in.

They just got married over the weekend, which is why he's like the famous little kid from Love Actually.

From Love Actually.

But he's gone on to be a successful actor, which most of those like famous little kids don't, you know?

Yeah.

And they just got married over the weekend and it was big news.

I thought that was his first OG wife.

Okay, I got confused.

Oh, he was in Maze Runner, so I guess that's how like he pays the bills.

But he was also in Game of thrones helping brand get to the the third eyed raven yes yes

great call great call and that was not going to be another story i thought about it but we already had one big elon story so that's the big elon news of the day baby number 12 is here mozletov

and to life to life lechaim

yeah They thought he was like hiding it, but he said failure to issue a press release, which would be bizarre, does not mean secret.

it's true.

It's kind of like it's your job to know and you didn't.

So.

Right.

But like, what are, why do we need to tell you a press release that like I fathered a child over here?

And she's like a private citizen girly with a job.

Like let her live.

Yeah.

And she works for Neuralink, which I need more and more every day.

The chip in your brain?

I need, and I never thought I would be a chip.

When I was reading the Neuralink parts of his book, I'm like, Elon, this is where I leave you.

But like, I have so many thoughts that I just need transcribed because they're fleeting.

And I don't remember what I needed to add to my list because I was in the the shower and I couldn't write it down.

It's true.

It's by the way, it's so true.

And I can't leave a pen and paper by me all the time.

And they're here today, gone tomorrow.

And when you think as much as we do, because we're sort of like, you know, big thinkers and, you know, thought leaders of our generation, you need to have that shit transcribed because, you know, our thoughts are not just average thoughts.

No.

No, but even just like, it's mostly like tasks of like things I need to do, like book a car for this, get my hair for for the shows.

Like,

there are so many little things like that.

I meant to share with you.

Do you know what Ben has started calling Romeo?

Mayo?

No.

Dukes?

You'll never guess.

Crabs.

He calls him Henry David.

Why?

Because we call him The Row.

Okay.

Henry David.

Henry David, The Row.

The Row.

Yeah.

That's funny.

I'm surprised he doesn't call him Mary Caden Ashley.

Lol.

that's what I thought.

Jaggie.

Or you could call him the Lakes.

The what?

The Lakes.

You could call him Walden.

Yeah, you could.

So much lore.

Do you have something you want to ask me?

That is time for the Fifth and Vital Story, but I do need to know if you're ready.

No.

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So eight ounces

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I meant to say, like, I'll get into all the health benefits of, you know, green tea and why you should be drinking two cups a day, but getting into a routine of like winding down with a glass of tea is such an elevated royal experience.

And it really does help wind me down for the night.

I've been doing it a lot recently and I love it.

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Two cups a day keeps the boogies away.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Taylor Farms, and they're many chopped salad kits that come in over, that come in five delicious flavors like Pizza Ranch, Green Goddess Ranch, Nashville Hot, Citrus Crunch, and caesar taylor farms is a trusted source here at the toast and a family-owned company on a mission to create healthy lives through fresh delicious food so these are single serving chopped salad kits that are prepped cleaned and ready to enjoy so it's food for one which means less waste and of course they're classic grazed taste now i know you're gonna say like turdy salad in a bag it's giving crusty musty and brown no taylor farms could never and would never they are gorgeous they are crisp they are fresh and like i said they're pre-cleaned so you can literally eat it straight out of the bag if you're a gal on the go, which I know so many of you are.

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If you want the big bag, those are there too for, you know, family dinner or if you're just feeling extra hungry.

But Taylor Farms, thank you so much for being a sponsor.

And today's episode is finally brought to you by My Lady Jane.

We haven't found our recent TV obsession and it's on Prime.

Have you guys heard about My Lady Jane?

It's inspired by the best-selling book.

This series is a history-bending romanticy about Lady Jane Gray, known as the Nine Days Queen.

Jane was the queen of England for nine days and then beheaded.

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We love a period piece, we love history, but I also love when they do things like this is how history should have happened.

That's like it's kind of a really satisfying way to watch television.

So, the TV show is called My Lady Jane.

It's on Prime Video, starting June 27th.

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My Lady Jane, June 27th on Prime Video.

Check it out.

Thank you, Turt.

You're welcome, Bert.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story, a little content news?

Now I am ready, yes.

Jennifer Lawrence will star in a murder mystery inspired by The Real Housewives.

Yes.

Jennifer Lawrence will produce and star in The Wives, a Real Housewives-inspired murder mystery produced by Apple Studio and A24.

It was announced on Friday that Jay Law will produce and star in The Wives, a Real Housewives Inspired Whodunit that was acquired for Apple Original Films in what is describing as a highly competitive situation.

The project will be co-produced by Apple Studio and A24.

Um, I love this.

It sounds like it could be really stupid.

However, Jennifer Lawrence kind of like doesn't really like make bad movies, and she has a very, um, obviously well-versed knowledge of like how movies work, but also of the housewives.

So, if there was someone who can do it and do it well, it would only be her.

I agree, and considering it will likely be good, it sounds really good.

The why is like we're watching on in two seconds.

It's giving desperate housewives, Stepford Wives, Gone Girl, our fake.

A thousand percent.

A thousand percent.

It sounds good.

I'm cautiously optimistic.

I'm sad.

If you had described it to me without saying Jennifer Lawrence, I would have been like, I roll, because this does have the potential to be incredibly stupid.

It's giving, what's that show we love?

Ladies who kill?

Why women kill?

Why women kill.

That's what this is.

So is it kind of going to be like

Knives Out, sort of, where it's like we're all solving this one mystery?

I feel like like big little eyes, but with like a funny comedic yeah like maybe they're all on like a cast trip and one of the producers gets knived

and they have to sit in the house and figure out who did it yeah something like that

i honestly think it sounds good it sounds amazing more of this please i mean let's wait to see it but more of this Do you think they'll like tap any housewives like to do cameos?

They're always doing stuff like that.

I feel like that's what would make it stupid.

I agree, although there are a lot of housewives who are like actors by trade like kyle richards denise denise richards wait denise richards how am i just putting that together are they sisters denise and kyle richards

that's really weird that is weird um an actress of course all of them you know heather dubrow famously is an actress so

i agree though that's what makes it like not serious

and i actually hope that they don't unless one of them is like an actual actress in the movie not a cameo heather dubble Like if Heather Dubrow wanted to get a role in this show, I think she would be really good.

Yeah, who else acts?

I feel like they all, like, when they were younger, like acted and modeled and then like married rich men.

Yeah, and then like were still interested in being famous.

Who was Heather Dubrow fighting with for that role on Reba's?

Alexis Bellino.

Yeah, but she's not an actress.

No.

Like by trade.

No.

Okay, well, I like this.

I think it sounds good.

Me too.

And of course, you know, she's going to go out and watch It Obs Live to promote it, and Andy's going to have like the best day of his life.

Yeah, full circle.

Full circle.

She doesn't make bad movies, so I feel if there's a woman who can do it, it's her.

I think if anyone were to do a cameo, it would be Andy.

Oh,

yeah, duh.

Mm-hmm.

And he acted.

He was in Sex in the City.

Nini Leaks

is actually like

an amazing actress.

She's Ross Washington.

Ross Washington.

Her having like not only just a cameo, but like a full-blown role over many episodes on glee was one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

Not to mention her character

was everything in this world.

Agreed.

Roz Washington.

And I feel like we appreciated it when we had it.

Like, I don't feel like it passed us by.

I feel like we were in that moment being like, this is awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the role that they held for her.

I know, but we need to appreciate that it happened.

Like, don't cry because it's over.

Smile because it happened.

And really, like, appreciate that the role that was written for her, like, they couldn't have written a better role for her, and she nailed it.

She deserved an Emmy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaking of Emmy winning content, let's dive into our House of the Dragon recap, episode two.

Jax was not going to watch it, but I said, give it one more chance.

Yeah.

And what do you think?

I stand by what I said last week, which it's like objectively not an amazing show.

Like there were so many conversations where I was watching and I was like, not to compare it to Game of Thrones all the time, but like we would never have this conversation in Game of Thrones because it's irrelevant.

Like the older son talking to his betrothed, standing out on the clip, just being like, I'm sad.

I'm sad too.

It didn't move the plot forward whatsoever.

The Corlisses laying in bed talking about Ray Nira didn't move the plot forward whatsoever.

It's just like they just need to kind of fill some shit up.

I agree.

Like I was incredibly bored last night.

Nothing happened.

And the real difference I feel from last season when I loved this show was like there were so many characters I was championing like and obsessed with.

I seriously don't give a fuck who wins this war.

Like right now I don't even hate the other people so much like I hated the high towers last season and everyone in King's Landing I'm like they're the devil seriously like I don't even care like after what Damon did like I don't stand really him anymore and not to be like devil's advocate like Rainier putting all the blame on him like she did send him and she knew like he was like a scoundrel piece of shit you know yeah

and I just don't know how Her team really bounces back from because they were already like just irrelevant uglies on Dragonstone now.

Like, yeah, what are you gonna do?

What's the big move here?

What's the play?

And now the thing is, like, I don't believe in either one of their causes, like, that much.

No, and also, I don't feel like any one person's claim to the throne is bigger and better than another person.

Like, I don't feel like Aegon is a usurper.

Like, yes,

Viseris had said, like, Rhae Niera would be his heir when he didn't have any sons.

But now he has sons.

So, Aegon is a real contender.

Then he died before

his time.

said something confusing to Rainira and to Alicent.

Right.

So now it's like, who has the better claim to the throne?

Like they're both kind of equal.

I don't really care who sits on the throne.

Much like most of the people in the Seven Kingdoms and in King's Landing, they're like, we don't care who our king or queen is.

Like, can we just have some fucking bread?

Yeah, literally.

And by the way, the only time I really felt anything during last night's episode was

Anytime Sir Kristen Cole came on the scene and like lit within me this fire of hatred.

I loathe this man.

First of all, so weak when he was like having that conversation with Sir Eric and like sending him to wherever it was, like loser, like you feel guilty because like you were out fucking Allison when you should have been protecting the future king and now you're going to blame this guy and try and put it on him.

Like it's all you.

You're a big timey loser.

I hate him.

And honestly, not me like really kind of siding with and agreeing with Otto Hightower last night.

Like oh, yeah.

When he was like, what has Sir Kristen Cole done?

It's like, totally, literally, who is that?

Right.

Also, they want this big moment, like, Allison's sin is because I was fucking Sir Kristen.

Like, that's why there wasn't a guard

who would have been guarding Allison's room.

And, like, when I said last week, Helena ran into Allison's room, there was no guard there.

Someone said that's because Kristen was supposed to be outside the door.

Okay.

Still doesn't make sense for the heirs down the hall.

Also, Helena and Aegon are husband and wife and brother and sister, correct?

Are they?

Yeah, because, first of all, where else did she come from?

She's a Targaryen.

I just thought she was like a rogue cousin

for sure.

But then when Helena said what they did to my girl, I think they meant Helena.

I think she meant Helena, like that her daughter had to see, like, go experience that.

And then also, it's like,

yeah, where else did she come from, if not the sister?

That's like really crazy, brother and sister.

Yeah, and like, how do you make the switch?

Like, from see, I guess their whole lives, they knew that they would be.

husband and wife one day.

I don't think they spent a lot of time, not justifying this whatsoever, just trying to get into the mindset.

I don't think they spent a lot of time together growing up because he's in like you know king training and she's sewing doing her knitting I truly like never put together that they were brother and sister I don't think they spoke before seriously like I don't think they speak now either unless they're trying to have a child and I guess you don't have to which they have to do right do they have another son they have the oh I don't know they have a daughter

they might I don't know and then I cannot deal with Zoolander and the eye patch

Okay, but can we talk about Zoolander and the eye patch and the mommy issues?

Laying naked.

I was like, seriously, what am I looking at?

Like, they're just trying to let you know, like, Zoolander has mommy issues.

Right.

He gives me the ick, and like, that sort of like naked, skinny body, like in a ball in that lady's lap.

Like, I seriously wanted to vomit.

No, and I cannot deal like him roaming through the castle.

Yeah.

It's Zoolander.

It's so unserious.

Yeah, I totally agree.

I just felt like so bored.

And I also find myself confused.

Like someone will walk in the room and I'm like, who on God's Green Diddley Dally Earth are you?

Yeah.

Like seriously, who are you?

Who did you feel that way about?

Bayla.

Bayla.

Then you remember that she's, oh, and then when that guy got off the ship and his brother was like waiting for him, and I'm like, are we supposed to know you?

No, we don't know.

Okay.

Like me and them were like,

I don't think so.

No, we know that the older guy who got off the boat, like, helped Lord Corliss and saved his life.

And then that was his brother waiting for him in the dock.

I'm sure they have things coming their way.

Because then also when he's like digging for seashells and he finds a crab, like, okay, I thought he was going to find, I don't know, Jace.

A dragon egg.

And then he looks up and the dragon's flying over him.

And then we follow the dragon.

It's like just useless things like that.

Yeah, there was a million scenes like that.

Like Rainiera playing with her kids.

Nobody said anything.

She's just playing with her kids and then they go to the next scene.

Like, it was actually like boring.

Yeah, nothing happened because there's only really one thing going on, which is like the war that hasn't started.

In Game of Thrones, and I only compare it because the only reason we're watching this show is because of Game of Thrones.

We would never be watching Medieval Dungeons and Dragons if not for Game of Thrones.

In Game of Thrones, there were literally eight significant plots happening at the same time.

And anytime we jump to another scene, like we are moving the plot forward of one of the

this one, even the main plot doesn't move forward.

Okay, so the twins killed each other.

What does that change?

Nothing.

No, and in Game of Thrones, like we would always acknowledge when there was an episode where like major things happened.

And sometimes when there were episodes that like you could say like were boring.

Pieces on the board were moving.

Yes, it was setting the stage for the next episode.

Like you would see the bigger picture.

I don't know what the hell was accomplished in last night's episode, except like seriously me checking my phone.

No, and like I never did with Game of Thrones.

Yeah.

Also, I said to Zach last night, like the dragons have also lost their luster.

Like now that everyone has dragons, I don't care.

When only Daenerys had them and it was like, she's stunting on these hoes, it was a big deal.

But now it's like, okay, we both have dragons.

We're equals.

Who cares?

Yeah.

And it's like, the dragons haven't even done anything sickening or changed the war.

You know what I mean?

Like in Game of Thrones, like when she like, you know, freed all the slaves because of the dragons and like she was doing when they went above north of the wall, slayed the dragons down, boots, pulled the dragon out of the ice and turned it into a white walking dragon.

Now it's just like, I don't know, a commercial flight.

Yeah, it's just sort of like a commercial flight.

They're just like all surveying.

Cool.

Yeah, I really don't particularly like ride for any of the characters.

Of course, you guys know, like, last season, I was obsessed with Damon and Rhae Niera, but like Rhae Niera kicked him to the curb.

She's right about that.

Like, he never really, like, fully championed her.

He's just sort of like waiting for his opportunity.

And also, it's like, if they become queen and king consort, and then like their children become heirs to the throne, like, that serves Damon's end

of him being on the throne in some sort of way.

So like that's why he like champions her to a degree because it's good for him.

Yeah.

And like, do they have their own kids?

That's who like the little blondies she was playing with?

Yeah.

Okay.

But even still,

Jace, Luce, Jace is the one, the older one.

He's going to be the king.

Yeah, I like him.

I like him too.

But he's not.

Targaryen.

Well, he is Targaryen, but not like full.

Yeah, I don't want to use the B word, but like.

Bestard.

But he is.

Yeah.

I forgot about that word.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So there are a lot of like half-legit claims.

So like I personally don't give a rip.

You know who I'm liking?

Not like, like, not disliking.

Who?

Allison.

She, like, pisses me off.

I feel like we hated her last season.

I don't hate her.

We did.

I don't hate.

No, but that's the thing.

We hated her more so because we loved Rainira and we like hated what Allison did to her.

Now like I don't even ride so hard for a Rainira.

So like I feel equally about both of them.

I feel nothing.

And it's like, what did Allison do to her?

Sleep with her daddy, right?

But like that was.

She didn't sleep with her daddy.

Her own father forced her to sleep with Rainira's daddy.

What choice did she have?

And then she was there for Viseris like in his really like decrepit for a long old age.

She loved him actually.

Like she really could be so much worse.

No, and in her defense, like she really did think that, you know, she heard

Visaris say like Aegon should be king, but Viseris just thought he was talking to someone else.

We know that.

And also in the small council meetings, like she's always advocating for de-escalation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she was like the only one who really like cared and felt bad that Amond killed the other one, Luce.

Yeah, and I know also we're supposed to like be so shook up that she's sleeping with Sir Kristen.

Like, this is like the big secret of the show.

And, you know, Helena, don't say anything.

And, you know, and she's like, I've sinned.

The way i don't care she's not married who gives a

well it's like because he's supposed to be pure but now that he's the hand of the king i don't feel like his job anymore requires celibacy that's what i was thinking

so it's like a big deal for him like seriously who cares no literally who cares that's the big secret i will say though like that scene where the twins were fighting and you didn't know which twin was twinning and then that was actually a good scene Yeah.

Because then one of them died and we're like, oh shit, is that the right one?

Well, we were about to find out because if the weather one went for Ray Niero's throat, that's that on it.

But then it didn't even matter.

It was just like sad.

It actually was really sad.

Yeah.

Rip.

Double rip.

Double rip.

And I guess like that random hooker slash spy ended up being good because she warned them.

Yeah, she is a very random hooker slash spy.

And I really don't like when like, I just don't like her.

Yeah.

You know, I don't even remember what she did last season, the big betrayal.

I don't remember.

Yeah, no, it's definitely not hitting.

Like, I certainly wouldn't even dream of dressing up as one of them for Halloween, you know?

Yeah.

It's not hitting in the same way.

And that's my opinion.

I just feel like Game of Thrones, and even thinking about a lot of the spin-offs we were talking about last week, like

it's giving like watered down.

You know, after Mean Girls, they made like Mean Girls 2 and like,

or like Legally Blonde, the Twins, where it was like off

low-budget, off-Broadway versions.

Like, this is what this is becoming.

Trying to recreate the magic and capture that audience again.

It's like.

But I felt like they were really on their way last season.

Like they had something good.

I would love to know what changed.

I think the show, it was better definitely in the first season, but also like our excitement was like

we were bringing all of our Game of Thrones energy.

And now it's like we're only bringing our House of Dragon energy, which turned out to be like not that energetic so far.

And people are saying, give it a chance.

Like it's the second season.

Like if we're not in it, like the the first season is where you really have to be patient because we're laying the groundwork for the war to come like war is here and I'm I'm bored but like war is like kind of not here yeah right now it's it's soft war it's murky yeah

um well that's our HOT my max account no longer plays the preview for next episode so I don't even get that like feeling of like yeah oh okay I'm I'm sad Same.

And when it was over last night and it was an hour and 10 minutes of boringness, I seriously didn't even want to watch for next week.

I'm like, can I go to bed now?

I actually looked to watch for next week because I was like, I need to get my juices flowing.

Hyped.

I couldn't find it.

And that's like really.

So without that, I'm like, okay, so the end.

And speaking of the end, this is the end of our episode.

And I think we accomplished everything we set out to accomplish, correct?

I think so.

So that's our show.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toastle Monday Morning Show where we deal with the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Love you.

Bye.