Dating Big As Her Mother: Friday, May 3rd, 2024

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Friday, a celebración.

Congrats.

Hey, Jax, how you doing?

I'm dern good.

Excited that it's Friday.

We've got a big weekend ahead of us.

Huge.

And today is really Giving Friday because I know we were both out late and up late last night.

And it's just, it's giving morning after.

It's giving morning after.

Yeah, I got home.

I went to bed at like 2 a.m.

We got home like a little bit earlier than I expected, about 1.30.

You know, it's not much better.

Yeah.

But it was not all for naught.

You know, the Knicks did win.

Thank God for that.

I told Ben, you don't want to feel my wrath if this team fucking loses.

And we drove all this way.

Now, I don't want to spoil too much of the evening because I did decide very last minute to vlog it it's actually Ben's idea he was feeling like you know he was stealing camera red he was feeling like he wanted his close-up he was ready for it so I won't spoil the evening but Ben had an amazing time and that's really why we went so I'm glad that he did

I'm happy for Ben.

I'm happy for you because not only did you get a picture with your man, which we were discussing yesterday on the show, how difficult that can be,

two,

because we like sort of made it into this thing and we're like, hey, she's going to get the photo talking about it for endlessly.

You kind of like broke the internet engagement-wise.

Yeah, the engagement was through the roof.

I was telling a story yesterday.

A thread.

And even

there was a thread through my getting ready process.

I was capturing content.

In the evening, we got our picture.

And then I needed to like post all my content.

And there was an ad in there monetizing the story that I'm telling here.

And all

to say,

I got the shot at dinner, except I brought my camera, my G7X, because yeah, I influence.

I create content.

And I didn't have a memory card in it, so I like stretched out my bag, my leto purse for nothing, but the phone was fine.

You are literally post below.

All of this to say.

That's like you.

The line from Fortnite, if you know, you know.

Because of my memory card or just because I keep saying all of this to say?

The latter.

The second one.

Oh, because I keep saying all of this to say.

Yeah, because I'm saying all of this just to say.

We had a lovely evening.

Happy birthday to my husband.

And for those of you who are really proud of me for asking a stranger to take our photo outside pre-dinner with lipstick on, don't be so, hold your praise because Olivia and Shapiro joined us for dinner last minute.

So I had a photographer on call.

I actually asked a stranger to take a picture of me and Ben at the game, which is.

probably more embarrassing than like a stranger on the street because like it was like a speaker.

And you have to sit with them the rest of the time.

Not only that, it's not the type, it's not like I was at, you know, a Taylor Swift concert.

I wouldn't feel weird about asking anyone at a Taylor Swift concert.

They would kill it.

They would see if I needed more, all the angles.

Like this man who was like so not wanting to take my phone.

Actually, he was super nice.

I'm projecting.

He was so lovely.

He took an amazing photo, but like, I definitely felt weird.

Like, the vibes were not on the same vibe level.

And he literally like had to sit behind me the entire time.

What if I didn't like it?

That's the weird part.

But it all turned out good.

I loved the photo.

Great.

So it was just like a photogenic evening for the swirlies.

Pretty much.

Yeah.

Did you post your photo?

I did.

Not in feed.

It wasn't like at that type of moment.

It was just a pic of me and Ben.

Like, hey, we made it.

We had great seats.

Philly swirlies.

Philly swirlies, essentially.

If I did post in feed, that would have been my caption.

Speaking of girly swirly,

I just think it's important that everybody knows.

You know, a couple of weeks ago, Jackie and I dropped sort of like a game-changing collection.

Of merch.

Yeah, there's like the waves and the impacts it had on the fashion industry is still being discussed, and it will probably for generations to come.

I think I heard next year's Met Gala theme is girly swirly.

Well, we were supposed to be keeping that under wraps, but sure, let's just.

No, it's just rumors can't confirm or deny.

No comment.

And what's exciting is that if you head to shop toastmerch.com, some of you might have noticed there's a countdown.

And the countdown is very girly swirly.

That's what I'll say.

Okay, I'll leave it at that.

It's a girly swirly countdown.

Head to shop toastmerch.com to see what the hell we're talking about.

Make sure to sign up, you know, for alerts and things of that nature.

Things in which to alert.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Sometimes, like,

sometimes, like, you just, there's nothing else to say after that, you know?

Yeah.

It's true.

I'm feeling delirious.

The truth.

I'm feeling delirious.

Probably because you went to bed at 2 a.m.

No, and I was thinking this morning because I'm trying like not to be angry.

You know, it's not good to hold on to anger.

But something.

Who are you angry with?

Let it out.

Ben.

Something that's because I went with him and it was good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, now I'm feeling tired and groggy and like I have a really, really busy like next six days.

And like feeling groggy doesn't behoove me.

I'm supposed to run today.

Honestly, I don't think I can.

Like I feel so run down.

And I realized like one of the most important things in the world to me is my sleep schedule for real.

And

I know at the beginning of last year, like I'm saying yes to life.

And honestly, my sleep schedule was like put on the back burner, but it always remained a priority.

And I feel like this year, I am going to say no to everything.

that deprioritizes my sleep schedule.

I honestly, that's what, that's the lesson after Philly.

For sure, but it feels like it was just Philly because this hasn't been an issue until yesterday.

You know, like sometimes, and like I have a hard line, like I will not do things on the weeknights.

Like it's just not, it deprioritizes my sleep schedule.

And also like my wind down routine, my bath time, my TV time, my reading time.

Like,

no, don't ask me to do anything Monday through Thursday or Sunday through Thursday, rather.

Okay.

Like, well, Sunday, Sunday, day.

Yeah, sorry.

I'm talking about just in the evenings.

Okay.

Like after six o'clock, if I have to work the next day, like I really, I need to shut down.

Yeah, we were out to dinner really late last night.

And I was stressing.

I'm like, this is late, man.

No, I know.

It's like a really radical thing to do.

I think we got home at like 10.30.

Okay.

Later than that.

Well, compared to swirling.

Oh, and we got home.

Just for a dinner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I got into bed at like, it was 11.30.

Did you get into bed and start feeling sad?

No, I didn't because I was reading all the comments.

You guys were cracking me up.

So happy for me.

You can't feel sad when engagements through the roof.

So many people wondering if I'm on Ozempic, which just means the world to me.

So glad you brought that up because we means everything.

Thank you guys.

We need to talk about something in your photo.

Do you know what I'm going to say?

Yeah.

Should we be worried?

No, the thing is, I don't know why they look so skinny.

I didn't edit the photos whatsoever.

I was actually going to call you and be like, did you face tune?

Like, specifically your like shin calf area.

Like, no, and that's not an area that I'm like insecure about.

So I wouldn't even think to face tune there if I was going in.

But no, I didn't go in.

I think I posted when we were in the car anyway.

Like I could barely do things on my phone in the car.

Certainly not moving a photo around.

There was no face tune.

My legs, I don't know, they just like looked really skinny.

I don't think they're that skinny in real life.

You don't have to worry.

Sometimes like your body will just do things for you.

Not always, but every now and then, like your body will really show up and show out for you, like in a photo or just in a moment.

And it's so, it's also important that we thank our bodies for doing that so why don't you take a moment like in a moment of gratitude to express to your legs well i will always thank my body like for everything that it's done done for me carried me through but i also want to thank the headlights on the car that were pointed at me because i think that they lit up my legs in a way plus the flash where it was just like an optical illusion oh it's good you know how like some high contrast Some people like see a picture and they see Jesus in the contrast.

Like I saw thin legs.

Well, you can tell Jesus that the bitch is back, okay?

Oh, yeah, you can tell him.

She warned us.

She said,

it will be over for you, bitches, and it looks like it's really over for us.

I think, yeah, it's ending for you guys.

I'm sorry to say.

You can definitely get a few more good times in, but count your days.

I would start packing your bags.

Yeah, I would.

You're out of here.

Pack your bags.

Pack your bags.

Your time is up.

It's my turn now.

May.

so it's friday and that obviously means like a whole host of things what does it mean for the stories

so i have something i want to share with everyone rip

what rip

rip what to the stories

what stories what

like

this there's no like i have some things to say but that is like there's legit no story today i've been sitting in my studio for 45 minutes oh whoa whoa i thought you were saying like you showed up and you're like i'm not doing it even though earlier in the week we were saying the fast time is going nowhere.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

I'm saying, like,

if who knows what will be today.

So, like, don't feel like you're in any sort of rush to get there.

There's not really like somewhere to get to.

There could be, if need be,

but

there's all is to say, like, there's not that much going on in the world today.

All's to say.

All is to say.

Yeah.

Well, it sounds like it's a great day for Weenie and Queenie of the Week, which we do have at the end of the show.

So thank God for that.

Yeah.

And all of this to say,

yeah.

And it sounds like it's a great day because it's our last show together for a week.

Oh, wait, there's a lot.

Thank you for bringing that up.

A lot of housekeeping announcements.

So

today is today.

Live.

This is Friday.

This isn't pre-recorded.

Tomorrow, Jackie and I are headed to Austin, which is super excited.

In the earlier afternoon, Jackie and I is super excited.

Jackie and I are doing a meet and greet at Spritz, our first meet and greet at Target.

We just launched in Target.

So head over to the Spritz Instagram for all the details.

And then after that, Jackie and I are doing a panel hosted by Ms.

Taylor Strecker at the Dear Media event.

So we're just like kind of giving business attire.

The next day, Jack's headed home.

I'm headed to LA for the 5K.

Okay.

Finally, it's here.

She'll stop talking about it after, but like, I will never stop talking about it.

I can't believe it's just here.

Whatever.

And then I'm doing five shows in LA.

So I just wanted to let everyone know the shows that I'm doing in LA are all being recorded the day prior.

So don't expect like

gangbusters, pop culture, like breaking news energy.

Also, a lot of the people, I have scheduled it so that, like, the Monday episode,

the person is not doing the fast five with me.

Tuesday, they are.

Wednesday, they're not.

Thursday, they are.

Friday, they're not.

So it'll be a good mix of some people whom you probably don't, you don't want to hear, you know, the fast five with them.

You want to hear like a good podcast interview and getting to know them, introducing them to the girly swirly universe.

So just keep that in mind.

But that is better because all the episodes will be out super early.

Since I'm on West Coast time, if I was doing it the same day, the girlies here in New York wouldn't get it till like three.

So I'm doing, yeah, I think what's best.

So next week is all pre-recorded the day prior, guest interviews with girly, with turty in LA.

Then we're back.

No, I know what you guys are going to say.

It's the Met Gala on Monday.

It is the Met Gala on Monday.

You're a genius.

That's 100% true.

That's why it's so important to be a Patreon member because if you're going to be looking for some sort of Patreon, I mean, excuse me, some sort of Met Gala recap, outfits, things of that nature, it will be on patreon.com slash your toast.

So it's really never a bad time.

No, never, certainly not.

And I have something exciting for the Patreons next week.

You do.

I'm working on an exciting project next week.

I'm so excited for my week.

Let me tell you.

What do you have planned for the week off?

Oh, just a lot of leisure.

Just being a woman of leisure.

I'm getting lunch with friends.

Manicure.

Manicure.

I'm actually getting today because of our big work event tomorrow.

I should have done that.

She will be manicured.

Yeah.

And pedicured.

Yeah.

I think I might get a facial.

Oh, okay.

She's truly leaning into the leisure.

And I'll be making sourdough.

Oh.

So now it's over for all of you.

And that's kind of scary because like we've come to,

you know, I feel like people who tune into the show, they know exactly what they're getting.

They know exactly who we are.

And it sounds like you'll be taking a week off and you'll be coming back an entirely different person.

It's literally like it's going to be a new host.

No, I think I'm, you know, exactly who we are.

I think I'm taking the logical next step in my journey.

Yeah.

You know?

Yep.

And I think people have known this was coming for a while.

I've been warning you and talking about it for months.

So if I don't do it, it's like, what am I talking about?

You know, I kind of have to now, like, I've been talking the talk.

It's time to walk the walk.

Yeah.

If you don't do it, you're just going to be one of those people who says they're going to do stuff and doesn't do it, which is the worst type of person.

No, I never even said, oh, I'm going to do it.

I didn't do it.

I've just been like, you know, you just have to continue to grow, and that's the next step.

And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow, and it's all right now, you know?

Yeah,

I uh heard a rumor that Taylor and Travis will be showing up at the Kentucky Derby this weekend.

I could see it, I could see it too.

What are you doing for the Derby?

Oh, I guess we'll be the Derby's on Saturday.

We'll be working.

I have no fucking idea.

Like, the Derby's not something I keep up with.

But I have seen Secretariat.

Yeah, everyone's kind of like, I like the derby.

Everyone's excited about it.

Everyone's dressed nice.

Sometimes there's a horse that is very exciting.

I'm pro derby.

I don't think there's like a famous horse this year that everyone's talking about.

It's been a little while since there was like a horse.

Yet, wait, also,

you know how we have that list of things like that there are two of?

I think it's so crazy that there are two movies and also two horses, like Sea Biscuit and Secretariat.

I like don't understand.

Secretariat.

Secretariat.

I don't understand why we got both movies.

Like, especially if you watch them, like, Sea Biscuit, like, Loki, wasn't even famous.

Also, is Sea Biscuit real?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

So, like, Secretariat, like, was that bitch.

But, like, Sea Biscuit got the Oscar treatment, like, Toby McGuire.

And literally, Secretariat is a D-com.

It's a Disney Channel original movie.

I don't even know if it ever even hit the theaters.

It was like, and it was literally such a more interesting story, horse-wise.

Yeah.

Make it make sense.

You should read Horse, the book we we read for the Redheads a while ago.

I don't know.

Sometimes there's a book,

and I might like it, but I see other people reading it, whether it's people I know or people on social media, or it's on someone's book club chart list, and I know that it's not for me.

Do you know what I mean?

I feel that way.

You're judging the book by the reader.

Yes, but also the cover.

You know what I feel that way about?

Like, every person I've ever seen who highly recommends Untamed by Glennon Doyle, like, those are not my people.

Do you know what I mean?

And that's not your book.

Exactly.

And I feel that way about you.

Those are not your people i feel that way no yeah i would say i wouldn't like if if horse was like a girly swirly recommendation like you would have already read it by now if you're interested though in secretariat and sea biskid and like you want more this is an ex interesting story about a famous real horse but is aj mashalka in the book because aj mishalka is in the decom secretariat and thus making it superior No, but there's definitely a part for her in the movie adaptation.

Secretariat, the DCOM, is so Hannah-Montana movie-coded.

How so?

Oh, because of the grandma.

The grandma.

The grandma, Miley's grandma in the movie plays like the Secretary girl.

Secretary.

Secretariat.

Then, this is not Hannah Montana movie.

Sorry, it's just Hannah Montana.

The Jesse from Hannah Montana, he could be the one.

He's in the movie too.

He plays like some other horse guy's son.

And then there's AJ Michalka, who's not Hannah Montana, but she reminds me of that era at Disney.

Cowbells and she's in that universe.

Yeah.

It's such a good movie.

It really is.

If you haven't watched it's Stream Secretariat.

On Disney Plus, because it's a DCOM.

What's your favorite D-com?

High School Musical.

Okay, but I don't really consider that.

You know what I mean when I say D-com?

No, I know, but like that was legit as

then it got turned into like seriously a billion-dollar franchise.

But I'm talking about like the one-offs, like sort of, you know, Wish Upon a Star.

Catherine Heigl.

That's a good one.

What's yours?

I don't know because for so many years it was like Luck of the Irish.

I loved Luck of the Irish and Smart House.

But I actually later in life, like maybe three, four years ago, watched Smart House.

And it was fucking horrible.

Like, it was one of the worst movies.

Me and Ben, like, we couldn't even finish it.

So I don't know how they all age.

But I will say, at the time, probably my favorite was Luck of the Irish.

I thought that guy was so hot.

Like, he was my dream crush.

Yeah,

he had it going on.

He had it going on.

Xenon was good too.

Yeah.

Okay.

I was, we weren't like Xenon girlies.

No, no, no, no.

We were down.

Oh, model behavior.

So good.

Pixel Perfect.

Pixel Perfect.

Although that one was weird.

Like that kid needed to seriously touch grass.

Like

there's a lot of interesting themes between like humans and technology in DCOMs.

Yeah, well, I think it was also like reflective of the time.

It was sort of this industrious time for technology.

Like people started having phones and like the idea of like a hologram was like all these like sort of out there ideas that we thought the future would hold, you know?

Yeah, and you don't, you didn't know what it was going to be.

Also, descendants is a decom.

Absolutely love and adore.

Yeah.

Jadore, Descendants.

I mean, actually, Hannah Montana movie is technically a decom, but it's not.

No, no, no.

It's really in theaters, yeah.

No, it has to have premiered on the Disney Channel for it to be a decom.

A Disney Channel original movie.

I just want to look up, I mean, The Color of Friendship.

Oh, powerful.

Powerful.

Disney Channel original movies.

Let me just, like, make sure we're not missing any.

Halloween Town, that wasn't us.

Oh, we're totally missing like something that literally shaped us as human beings.

The one about Hanukkah?

No.

Let's cheetah girls, cheetah sisters.

Totally.

So good.

Camp Rock, but that to me, like, that was so big.

I don't consider that.

I consider that.

I consider the one-offs that we remember like Smart House.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

These are the obvious ones, like high school musical.

Oh, the movie, like, this movie was.

Like, we loved this movie so much.

Cadet Kelly.

Slay.

Arguably Hillary Duff's best and most important work.

No, Claudia, raise your voice.

Stop.

Oh,

I spoke too soon.

Yeah, sound up for the comments.

What's your favorite DCom?

What's your favorite Hillary Duff movie?

Raise your voice.

What about Copano Pet?

What about that one where she's like dating big as her mother?

You know it.

Is that English?

Dating big as her mother?

Claudia.

What does that sentence mean?

Wait, I feel like I'm having a stroke.

Dating big, capital B-I-G.

like from Sex in the City mm-hmm as her mother

oh she like swaps places yes yes yes her mother's Heather Graham yeah no uh Heather Locklear's same literally same thing and she's in high school and she becomes pen pals what twisted ass movie is that hold on

Like the perfect man or something?

Yeah, Heather Locklear, Hillary Juff.

That movie was fucking weird.

I didn't realize that the male protagonist, the perfect man, I didn't realize that the male protagonist in that movie is big

dating big as her mother

dating big as her mother like seriously i had no idea yeah chris no you're ready

the tagline for the movie oh i thought you meant the title of today's episode oh also good but you never know where the episode could take us oh yeah and then like her

Her classmate is like falling in love with her the whole time and she's like too blind to see it because she's so busy with her mom.

Yeah.

Lest me not forget a Cinderella story.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, Hillary Duff's like discography or whatever.

It speaks for itself.

We like, seriously, like, we could do an anthology of episodes diving into her work.

And we would start with Raise Your Voice because that's definitely the one.

One more mile to Jericho.

Okay, you know, I was thinking about this on my run the other day.

Yeah, I run.

The word Jericho is like beyond confusing to me.

Like, it's biblical question mark.

I think it's New Testament energy, but it's also a town on Long Island.

Like, I don't understand like Jericho.

That's a lot of things, you know, that are biblical, and then

they use them again, like Babylon.

Yeah, I guess.

Even like Jerusalem, Salem, Massachusetts is named like for Jerusalem.

You're lying.

That's one of the funnest facts you've ever shared here on the show.

Yeah.

Jerusalem.

Jerusalem.

But like nobody called it, it would be called Salem.

Maybe it was, and then it morphed.

Oh, you really learned something new every day here at the toast.

Yeah, so I think people get inspiration from the Bible all the time.

Jericho just is

different.

I understand what you're saying.

It hits different.

Like I remember being a kid watching Raise Your Voice and she's singing this song about Jericho, like the town 45 minutes away.

And I was like, is Hillary deaf from Jericho?

And what's the significance?

I really like it, it was one of those things that truly like stumped me as a young woman.

Now, I also still don't understand the biblical significance of Jericho because, am I correct in that it's a New Testament term?

I want to say yes, because I don't know the significance either.

Right.

And when I listen to the worship music, like a lot of times they reference Jericho.

Yeah, it obviously like major things happened.

I feel like it might be worth our time just to Google it.

Yeah, it might be a good story, too.

I love a biblical story that can be referenced in everyday life, Tower of Battle.

It's a battle.

Forget it.

It's a cautionary tale.

In the biblical book of Joshua, Yahoshua, that's not New Testament.

No.

Was the first battle fought by the Israelites in the course of the conquest of Canaan, which is modern-day Israel.

According to Yahshua, the walls of Jericho fell after the Israelites marched around the city walls once a day for six days, seventh time.

On the seventh day, when the priests blowing their horns daily and the people shouting on the last day, excavations.

Wait, I feel like this has something to do with the Sheva Brachas.

You know, when you get married in a Jewish wedding, if you've ever seen, the bride walks

around the groom seven times,

and they walked around the walls seven times.

This is definitely Jericho is giving wedding to bring the walls down.

Google it, Claude.

We don't have choice.

Sheba Bracha wedding.

Jericho.

No, I don't think there's a.

Oh, wait.

Some Jericho.

Also, seven is just a big number in Judaism.

Yeah, but like walking around.

Yeah.

Okay, hold on.

I'm on dallasjewishnews.com.

By circling around her new husband, the woman liked the Jews circling Jericho.

Yeah.

Oh my goodness.

I totally thought Jericho was like a church thing.

I didn't know we were a part of it.

And you thought it was like an irrelevant ugly, and it's not.

Okay, so there are, sorry, there are actually a few different links.

Like

I'm sure there's a lot of different interpretations, as there always are.

Yeah.

Seven circuits derives from the biblical concept that seven denotes perfection and completeness.

This has also been linked to when Yehoshua circled the walls of Jericho seven times and they were destroyed.

Sephardic Jews do not perform the ceremony.

Very interesting.

I feel kind of dumb for not knowing Jericho is like our thing too.

And now I can sing it in my worship songs and not feel weird.

Yeah.

And go off Israelites.

Yeah, you walk that walk, girl.

You walk.

But Claude, you know, the Jews have only been in Israel for 70 years when they colonized the land, right?

Jackie, Jews need to go back to Poland where they came from.

That's what people say.

Do you know that?

Yeah, yeah, no, I know.

It's astounding how dumb people can be.

And while like saying it with their whole chest and really thinking they're the good guys, they can't really think that though, right?

Like look at them.

Like like the way that they're behaving you think that that's the

the right side listen i happen to know the good guys they are strong the good guys the good guys would never the good guys don't what yeah literally period

well yeah

well

well well well

it is time for i'm not gonna put a number on it you know i'm gonna see where where the wind takes us for the for the stories that you need to know today oh okay just the stories just the stories yeah and the just the stories that you need to know are brought to you by Lipton green tea did you know that drinking two cups of lipton green tea daily is a great ally for wellness and a simple way to up your everyday health habits okay I'm all about low lift wellness things like not all of us are cold plunging like nut jobs but I'm really focused on like feeling my best all day and what I put in my body especially in the mornings it's super important I love that we have um added the Lipton green tea to our daily regimen.

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They literally sell Lipton everywhere.

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today's episode is also brought to you by stacked oh a new sponsor here that i'm super excited about because i happen to have two stacked mats and margo it's like it's the like the mat that all the girls use for workouts and margo was like my my sister if you guys don't know she's like a workout fee and she was like oh is that the stacked mat it was kind of like that's eating in devil wars product are those the chanel yeah

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Thank you, Turtle.

You're welcome.

Just doing a little more research.

On Jericho?

On Jerusalem, yeah, because I was just looking about, you know, because just to confirm that Salem is named for Jerusalem, which it is, but it also, so Jerusalem, it's a city of peace, and the Salem is Shalom.

Oh, Yerushalaim.

Yep.

So the city of Salem here is named for Jerusalem, but it's also just meant, it derives from the word Shalom, meaning just like peace.

That's so interesting because I feel like there is an area a city that has less of a peaceful history than Salem.

Yeah.

It's funny how that, it's almost like it was a jinx.

Perhaps.

You just reminded me of something I wanted to say.

Oh, I feel like because you shared such a fun fact, and I realize it's been so long since I've heard a really good or even shared a really good fun fact.

And I feel like ever since Snapple stopped doing it on the caps, like we're all worse off as a generation, as a people.

And maybe like the sad state of the world can be originated back to the lack of Snapple caps.

Agreed.

And I feel like that's a really great impetus for us to just generate a fun fact of the day today.

Even though technically we did one.

Here's a list of fun facts to have on hand at your next dinner party.

Oh my god.

Nobody wants to invite the fun fact guy to a dinner party, but you know what?

Yeah.

It's like a low bar for conversation, but it gets the people going.

Okay, here's one.

The Spice Girls were originally a band called Touch.

Fifth Harmony was originally a band called Lilas.

Lilas.

Love You Like a Sister.

The heart of a shrimp is located in its head.

Okay, that's not a good one.

That's a dead ass one that would be on a snapple.

Yeah, and that's one, that's a conversation ender.

One dinner party.

Dows and like say you're eating shrimp and you're like, do you guys know the heart of a shrimp is located in the head?

Like, okay, can you leave?

Thank you.

Yeah, like then I would just start thinking about how you have to pull the poop out of shrimp and that's reason enough to never eat it.

It's like, that's seriously just so disgusting.

they're always like pulling out that little brown string you're like oh what's that it's like oh it's their poop the unicorn is the national animal of scotland

how can you have a national animal that's not real is that true about shrimp that's not lobster than a shrimp you like take a knife slid it down the back and this like duty tube comes out deadass dude tube duty tube also duty tube okay do you remember somebody i don't know if this was like this was a rumor it never was confirmed Because, you know, Snapple Facts, sorry, I'm stuck on Snapple Facts.

When you used to like pop open the cap, there would be like Snapple Fact number 6,825.

And there was a rumor that Snapple Fact number one was that half the Snapple facts are not true.

Let's dispel the rumor.

So you would always just

doubt.

You would doubt your Snapple fact.

I feel like that's not true.

Snapple fact

one.

Facts in order.

Oh my gosh, there's an anthology.

There's an

Atlantic.

We fact check Snapple's real facts.

Oh, great.

Now the internet is ruining like the age-old pastime of.

Yeah, and like their fact-checkers are probably like brain-dead morons.

No, and it's going to be like Snapple Facts is a key part of white supremacy.

Like, I can't.

No, like, honestly, I'm a major key.

I'm so happy, actually, that Snapple Facts, like, really, they had their shine before the internet was around to like debunk everything because that was such a pure time for us.

Like, it was not only a drink, but also an activity, and it was fun and fresh and it was good.

Okay, but I just want to say you can go to snapple.com and you can generate facts like in their generator.

Okay, like they're moving into the 21st century, which I respect.

Here's Snapple Fact number 1029: humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas.

Well, that's bananas, Jackie.

I'm sitting next to my twin.

Is that dirty?

Why are you holding yourself?

This is so crazy.

An octopus has nine brains and three hearts.

When you think of bananas, what do you think of?

Lizzo.

How about you?

I think of Banana Girl.

Do you remember Banana Girl was like?

Stop, stop.

Okay.

I also think of like that, there was a movie growing up where like someone was passing out.

They needed potassium.

Like, and then some genius was like banana get her a banana and now it's like we just take for granted that we know that bananas have potassium but like in that moment that person was albert einstein and honestly i feel like we all learned that i honestly i know i don't know what movie you're talking about but i know the scene in my bones and it sounds like it might have been in the decom like for real a hundred percent it's giving like honey i shrunk the kids doubt by the way might have been a movie about science right right and the person just like comes back to life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because they've had a banana.

Because they had potassium deficiency.

You're so right.

Sound off in the comments what fucking movie that was because we know you all saw it.

Who fainted?

And I know that everybody knows exactly what I'm talking about.

I know this scene.

I could recreate it in my mind, you know?

Yeah.

But what fucking.

And up until that point in human history, it wasn't common knowledge that bananas had potassium.

Movie where someone faints and then is given a banana.

Like, is there any way

that Google's going to know what I'm talking about?

If AI is real.

Oh my God, you're right.

Honey, we shrunk the kids.

And somebody wrote on Reddit, who else learned that bananas contained potassium by seeing honey, we shrunk ourselves.

Maybe the sequel.

Okay.

Wow.

Wow.

That's really, like, that's crazy.

Wow.

We all just, like, are living the same life.

We are all living the same life.

Okay, I'm ready for the stories.

You don't want it?

One more fact.

Sure.

Oh, but now there's so much pressure to make it a good one.

I don't feel like that one is.

Oh, here.

Folklore states that if you split a double strawberry in half and share it with the opposite sex, you'll soon fall in love.

See, that's where Snapple really lost the plot because no, but they said it's folklore.

So basically they said some, you know, nutty people.

Hold on.

I think fun facts like really have to be based in fact, not folklore, okay?

No, I agree, but at least they said

they shouldn't have generated that.

Like that, that's not a snapple fact.

They shouldn't have generated it.

Okay, what about this?

This is like kind of the same, but different.

Ancient Romans thought strawberries could cure bad breath and chronic fainting.

The fact would be that strawberries can cure bad breath and come and that's better.

It's rooted in history.

Yeah, it's a history fact.

There are a lot of facts about strawberries here.

Strawberries taste sweeter at room temperature.

Okay, so I should stop keeping them in the fridge.

No, that's disgusting.

This is interesting.

I feel like people know this, but they don't realize it.

Russia and the United States are less than three miles apart.

Yeah, and that's how we know the world is round.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm sorry.

I just saw TikTok about this.

They're really not.

There is like an island

where it's like Russian territory.

Like nobody lives there.

And it's like by Alaska or something, but it's Russian.

That doesn't count.

But it's still a fact.

Yeah.

Okay, one more.

No, like enough.

We need to move on.

Okay, Okay, I'm just telling you.

One more moment.

We're running towards nothing is what I'm saying.

But the thing is, we've been doing nothing this whole time.

Like, we can do anything, Jackie.

I've just learned an immense amount.

I mean, Salem will stick with me, truly, forever.

We'll always have Salem.

Yeah.

No matter what else happens today.

Yeah.

But our first story, like, this is why I don't want to do the stories.

New Kevin Spacey dock reveals the actor allegedly groped a house of cards cast member on set, made aggressive sexual moves on a schoolmate, and more.

So less than 10 months after Kevin Spacey was found not guilty of sexual assault allegations brought by four men in a UK court, a new documentary series is due to air featuring previously unheard of testimonies about the actor's alleged sexually inappropriate behavior.

Like, I want to talk about strawberries.

No, you know what's going on.

I'm sick of talking about Hollywood, like disgusting people in Hollywood.

They're disgusting, we know.

I completely agree.

And it's so Hollywood.

Like the cycle of Hollywood is so funny how like, not funny, but like they created, fostered and created this environment where like disgusting predators and like male predators got power and could abuse other people, whether, you know, Kevin Spacey, young men, Harvey Weinstein, women.

And so that was like the environment that they created for centuries.

Then they finally are like, we're going to do better.

Time's up.

And now they're capitalizing.

Like, it's like a cycle.

You are a Hollywood predator.

You become a Hollywood star in a Hollywood documentary about the Hollywood predators.

And then, like, the way they keep capitalizing.

There'll be like a documentary about the person who was the director of documentaries who was taking taking it.

Like,

they don't learn.

Yep.

And, you know, it's always good that people can get their story out there and the truth will come out.

And we know that Kevin Spacey is

not a good guy.

I feel like there are certain like

celebrities, disgraced celebrities who people like are obsessed with.

For me, like, I never saw a piece of content Kevin Spacey was in.

I never watched House of Cards.

I don't think I've seen him act in literally anything.

So for me, like, I'm so disinterested.

Like, I was never a part of making him famous.

Yeah, he's not your problem.

He's not one of mine.

Like, someone who, like, for me was like, oh, my God.

I don't even know.

But this is not a person, like, I particularly care about.

Like, but, you know, the Quiet Unset documentary, that was a

slate of content that raised me.

Yeah.

So I found that interesting, but like, I would never watch this because, like, I seriously don't give a fuck about Kevin Spacey.

Harvey Weinstein, I would say, like, we've watched a lot of Merrimacks movies.

Yeah, yeah, no, he, like, we've seen his work.

Yeah, yeah.

But Kevin, I agree with you about Kevin Spacey, though I did watch House of Cards, but my takeaway from House of Cards was that I hated his character.

Hated so much.

So like, good to know the character matches the man.

And every time Kevin Spacey comes up on this show, which is so infrequently, thank God,

I'm reminded of like how crazy it was that like Netflix built this billion-dollar company.

Like we know of Bridgerton, we know Orange is a new black.

How many Emmys and they have a million original shows, but they were like a DVD company.

And the first show they ever made, like what if if we make our own show was House of Cards?

And it really started Netflix.

Yeah.

And it's so crazy.

Speaking of Netflix, like a part B to this story now, because this wouldn't be a story, but Unfrosted comes out today.

I was going to bring that up at the beginning of the show.

I was seeing so many people posting about it on Instagram this morning.

I'm going to download it for my flight.

I'm so excited.

Yeah, maybe I'll watch it tonight.

with Zach.

It's the movie with Jerry Seinfeld and Amy Schumer.

It's about the Breakfast Wars Marjorie Post.

She's not the main character, unfortunately.

I think it's more from like Kellogg's POV.

I think she's the villain.

That's what I was about to say.

I saw, I think, because I followed Jerry Seinfeld's daughter, she was like posting all these behind-the-scenes things, and it was like Kellogg's.

And we read Marvelous Marjorie Post.

Like, we see this from the post-POV.

And, you know, Post saw Kellogg as the enemy, and I'm sure Kellogg saw Post as enemy.

So I feel like it's not being told from the side that I stand, which is obviously the post family CW Post.

So I'm open.

I'm open, but it's just not the story I wanted to hear, you know?

Yeah, it's also drawing comparisons to one of our favorite movies,

The Founder,

because it's like a food origin story.

This is like about the

creation of the Pop-Tart.

And the Pop-Tart wasn't covered in the book, by the way.

So I'm assuming that was a Kellogg Ting.

Or maybe it was just a small part of her

of her journey as a woman.

No, I feel like they each had their own big things.

And like Marjorie Post was like the inventor of frozen food.

Like the reason why there's freezers in grocery stores is because of her.

And maybe like, okay, they had the the Pop-Tart.

Not the inventor, but the curator.

She knew a good thing when she saw it.

No, she didn't invent it.

Sorry, because she acquired the company, but she knew it was good.

Yeah.

And she popularized it.

Like we, we might not have.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So stream unfrosted on Netflix.

Yeah, I'm excited about that.

Me too.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Gypsy Rose is kind of running amok ever since she got her new nose.

Gypsy nose.

By the way, is it confirmed she got a new nose?

Yeah.

There's pictures of like paparazzi photos of her with a bandage on her nose.

She said she was getting a new nose.

And now she's posted some glam shots where she's showing off her new nose.

Yeah.

Like celebrity makeup artist

Alexis Oakley, who I follow on TikTok,

made like a whole series.

She's like, I'm glamming.

And Alexis Oakley's thing is like, she's dying to glam Hailey Bieber.

So she did this whole series.

Like, I'm glamming, like a dream client, dream client.

And everyone's like, oh my God, she's finally glamming Hailey Bieber.

And it turned out that it was Gypsy Rose, and she took Gypsy Rose to Sephora.

And like, honestly, she slayed the glam.

Like, she looked amazing.

And Gypsy's running around town, like, honestly, being a Glamazon.

Glamazon, like, with her new mans.

She has to stand in the old man's.

Did you see what's going on with her ex-fiance?

Of course I did.

Doggygate.

I'm looking at the nose.

I have to.

Yeah, Doggygate, Pixie.

Pixie.

Okay, I'm looking at the before and after of the nose.

And it's, it's good.

Do they say who did it?

Maybe she said it because she's been open.

She's been definitely authentic about.

Of course.

She also replaced her old silver teeth last month.

Yes, porcelain new caps.

No cap.

I mean, now she's officially famous.

She has fake teeth.

Yeah, and she will be a success because she has fake teeth.

No, I'm loving the yasification of Gypsy Rose.

Like, what's next for her?

Botox?

I'm sure actually she probably has Botox.

You think?

I think she'll probably get lip filler.

And I also think like a nose really takes many, many months to like fully de-puff and get to its place.

So I think we'll still see the evolution of the nose.

But it's clear she's diving headfirst into like Hollywood and surgery.

And I love that.

I think she looks great.

Yeah.

And she has her new man, who's her old man?

She's got her old man, not her dad.

And not the killer.

Not the killer.

And yes, her and her old man, Ryan, Ryan, her ex-husband, have been fighting in the comments on TikTok.

He like posted like giving victim energy, like, hey, y'all, thanks everyone for like the well wishes.

Like, no one's wishing you well.

He was just really kind of giving in to influencer,

like a sneaker.

He's such a trope, yeah.

And he was like, me and Pixie are here, you know, we're hunkering down, we're doing good.

I guess Pixie is their shared pet.

Gypsy was like, funny how you're like literally making content and getting sympathy with Pixie when like literally that's my dog or cat.

I don't know.

And you won't even get, you wanted to drop her off at a shelter.

So so like give her back to

approve it to like

and that's why i love making former felons famous they just like don't give a fuck you know yeah yeah i guess like you know

gypsy seen some stuff she's not afraid to fight in the comments yeah i think that's putting it mildly gypsy's seen some stuff in her lifetime yeah

yeah so happy for her

happy for her

oh don't let me stop you okay Okay, so Saturday Night Live this week is Sabrina Carpenter and Jake Gyllenhal.

Yes.

And everyone's freaking out.

And honestly, like,

this is kind of like the second thing Sabrina Carpenter has done that's like really incongruous with her best friendship with Taylor Swift.

The first is obviously Skims.

I feel like we could explain that away.

Now this Jake Gyllenha thing, now I want to say, Sabrina Carpenter, I don't feel is at the level that she could be turning down SNL opportunities.

She's really a pop star on the rise.

I think this is harder to, this is easier to explain than Skims, actually, because like she doesn't choose who she's going to to be hosting with.

She's not going to say, oh, actually, I'm not doing that week.

Can you put me in a different week?

Like, she's grateful to be here.

Thank you for the opportunity.

So she can't say no, but the two things together are definitely weird.

And I think a lot of people will be looking to see, like, because she's very much a part of like the Swifty lore.

She knows the history.

She reads the tweets.

And,

you know, she does this thing, nonsense.

You know, her song, I'm a man of so bad a nonsense.

Every time she performs it live, she does like a little, she changes changes the lyrics to the last two lines and makes like a little skit about like where she is or whatever.

And a lot of people are thinking like maybe she will not address head on, but like subtly, like maybe she'll say like, I know I said

also too well, like something like that, you know?

Got it.

Okay, cool.

And do you know her new song?

Are you from President?

Like, what are your thoughts on it?

It's amazing.

I haven't listened in full, but I've seen some snippets and I like it.

I mean, I'm an OG Brina Carpenter fan.

Like, you don't need to tell me.

I've been waiting for a a day like this to come strike like lightning she wrote the song for boys for girl meets world yeah how does that sound

here i have her on my liked i'll go through the like the she had her first album which i thought was so amazing she i love her everyone loves sabriner oh and i also i love skin which was her like response to um olivia rodrigo like I loved it.

I also really do.

Will be the stars.

Oh, literally, like, you guys don't know old Sabrina.

Especially when

the Disney machine was making her music.

Yeah,

our boy, Matthew Girard.

Correct.

It had that Matthew Girard energy.

Neville Longbottom.

What was that other guy's name?

Rob

McNeil.

Yeah.

Thumbs.

I don't know that one.

Oh, that one.

Hold on.

Oh, I do know that one.

Yeah, it's like, it's got a good beat.

I'm playing it, okay?

Can I say it?

No, no, no.

I know it.

I know it.

Jackie, pause it pause it can't hear it yes you can the mic picks up everything

yeah

like it's giving Natasha Benningfield like

and so they keep

on twigging their thumbs

she's everything skiddle

she's literally scatting

but espresso it's people are saying it's the song of the summer and I actually agree she's long overdue anyway stream eyes wide wide open the album she's long overdue i also agree with that and i just feel really happy like you know we could wax on a million we could go back and forth like a million times about the whole olivia rodrigo thing but at the end of the day like olivia rodrigo was one of the biggest pop stars in the world and she did it on you know the back of sabrina carpenter the tresses of her blonde hair and i really i'm happy that sabrina carpenter is also becoming like a major major pop star they both deserve it they're both super talented but i think that time was really hard for sabrina yeah so at least she's getting something out of it too yeah and she at least she gets to enjoy enjoy herself now and her success.

Yes.

And us OG fans are just happy to see it.

Yeah.

And she's just like so cute.

I love her.

And honestly, I'm still holding a candle for her and Sean Mendez.

Yeah.

And I'll stay holding the candle.

Do you remember a time when Sean Mendez was so famous?

Yeah.

I feel like he's really not.

Like, obviously, he's a famous person, but yeah, I think that's a choice.

And I actually respect it.

Same.

He could have stayed famous, you know, Thursday.

Going out on dates, whatever.

But I think for us, he's taken a step back.

And so I respect it.

It's Addison Ray style.

Also, ship.

Addison Ray and Cha Mendez.

No, she's too much woman for him.

Okay.

Also,

wait, shit.

I had something I wanted to say.

What did we say two seconds ago?

Oh,

Anne Hathaway's new movie is out.

The idea of you.

I am not on that hamster wheel.

I didn't watch.

I didn't the book.

I saw the trailer.

Looks good.

I'm not going to watch the movie.

I don't really give a rip, but I know that you are.

Well, you know, I have a lot of problems with the book from a moral standpoint and an ethical place.

And I was planning on skipping it, even though I really do like, even if I don't love or like, are obsessed with a book, I do like to watch a movie because I always just find it interesting to see how it's done.

But I was going to skip this one just because, you know, I was taking moral high ground on it.

I don't like books about, seriously, like Predators and Pedophilia.

Like, I don't.

However, people are saying it's so good.

So like I might watch it.

Okay.

I'm sure it is good.

She really doesn't do bad work.

Yeah.

And that guy, Nicholas Galtzin, like everyone's talking about him.

He's in Mary and George.

Right.

Like he's kind of having a moment.

Happy for him.

Happy for Sabrina.

Happy for Sabrina.

Happy for our next story.

What number?

It's number three.

We're vineying.

And ahead of next week, it is an explainer for the Met Gala 2024 theme Sleeping Beauties Reawakening Fashion.

Okay, like if somebody doesn't come in a sleeping beauty dress from Amazon, like...

Go home, everyone.

And also, if somebody doesn't come in a sleeping bag.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I love when people take a literal approach to the theme for us mere mortals to understand it.

Yes.

So in November, they announced the theme would be Sleeping Beauties Reawakening Fashion, accompanying the Costume Institute's exhibit, featuring approximately 250 items from the museum's archives, including 15 historically significant pieces that are too delicate to ever be worn again.

It will be open to the public May 10th through September 2nd.

Andrew Bolton, who is the director of the Costume Institute, said, these are the sleeping beauties of the title.

These pieces, including a ball gown that dates back to 1887, will be displayed in tandem with designs from the likes of Dior, McQueen, Giovanchi, along with works by their contemporary successors.

Okay, so they don't mean sleeping beauties in the sense that like it's about like your sleep.

Disney,

right?

Which, you know, is a priority of mine.

They're saying like things that have been slept on for a while, like old tings.

It's getting history, question mark.

Oh, I love that interpretation.

Right?

Like, they're waking up.

Like, reminder, these things are here.

That's how I thought, that's why I just understood.

Yeah, the theme in the exhibit underscore the importance of sustainability and preservation, exploring the ways in which time and nature affect fashion, both literally and in more abstract sense.

Oh, someone's going to show up completely naked, like in the name of sustainability with like Google covers and a vagina cover on and be like, yeah, sustain this, bitch.

Wait, this is not like Sleeping Beauties is not a euphemism for sustainability.

No, no, but they're saying, no, but they're saying in addition, like sustainability, like keeping it in mind, how will this dress be at the year 3000, Meccawa?

Wow.

Okay.

At the end of the day, like

no theme will ever be more confusing and abstract than Cum de Garcon, Cum de Garcon.

So whatever.

Combe de Garcon is a designer.

No, it's like a state of being, I think.

It's like it's androgyny.

Hold on.

Because now, like, once, when there was Carl as the theme last year, like, I actually thought that was a good theme because there's so much to do.

It's like just Carl's

history of work.

But Coleman Garzon is a designer.

Okay, but I think also the phrase, like, means something.

Now, every May, people who listen to the show are reminded how little, like, I truly know.

So, don't quote me on this.

But I know, yeah, it's like that brand that makes the little like heart.

Yeah, it's a Japanese brand.

But I don't think

that's what the theme was.

I think the theme was like the translation.

Hold on.

I'm on my way.

Also, as much as like, yeah, we sound dumb and whatever, like this is how most people feel about the Met Gala too.

We're just like speaking for the common man.

In French, it means like boys.

Yeah, so that Met Gala was actually more understandable than we thought at the time because it was.

Rai Kawakubo Come de Garcon.

He's the head designer for Come de Garcon.

So it was like about

his important and influential designs over the past 40 years.

Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay.

I liked heavenly bodies.

Like I understood it.

The thing is, we didn't understand that because we didn't break it down on the show.

And that's why we do what we do.

Correct.

And I will say a theme that I loved, and I feel like also I now understand

because of the Met Gala was camp.

Like that wasn't a word I had heard prior.

I remember when we were talking about on the toast, we thought they were all going to be wearing whistles around their neck and

t-shirts.

Like we literally thought it was giving like summer camp.

Now I understand camp and it's a word I use everyday life.

I'm looking camp right in the eye.

And I wish I could go back and like relive that mech gala now having a full understanding of what camp really is.

Yeah, I feel like we feel that way every year.

No.

And by the end of the mech gala, like we get it.

Sort of.

Sort of.

Well, after we see everyone's dresses and then they explain their reference and they like talk, like then you get it as much as there is to get.

As much as there is to get, correct.

But, you know, you can't go wrong with a sleeping bag this year, an eye mask, set of pajamas.

Seriously, a Laneige lip mask?

Yeah, it's giving cozy.

Cozy vibes.

You know, who should be there?

Bruno.

1,000%.

If they really cared about fashion, they would have invited him.

Well, they don't.

We know that.

We know that.

It's just politics at this point.

At this point, yeah.

Money.

Are you ready for our next story?

Speaking of politics and money to a degree.

TikTok and Universal Music Group settle their royalty dispute with a new licensing agreement.

So annoying.

The months-long standoff between UMG and TikTok over royalty payments and AI policies is finally over, at least for the time being, with the announcement that the two entities have struck a deal to bring the label's music back on the platform as part of the agreement.

The company stated that they will deliver improved remuneration.

For UMG songwriters and artists, new promotional and engagement opportunities for their recordings and songs and industry leading protections with respect to generative AI.

The thing is, is like, this was annoying, but it was probably most annoying for UMG and their artists.

Like, it's really crazy how all-powerful TikTok is.

Like, you would think all of the biggest and best music can't be on the platform.

Oh, my God, TikTok's going to, they literally were unphased.

Like, it didn't affect the platform whatsoever.

People just pivoted and like made content about the lack of UMG.

Like, it really, they're almost too almighty to have been taken down by this.

So, I feel like probably UMG had to concede on a lot of things that they probably didn't want to.

Yeah.

And they keep on twiddling they thumbs, you know?

And they keep on twiddling them thumbs.

Do you think it's a little bit of a dumb

database?

I'm happy for us, especially happy for Sabrina Carpenter because espresso kept getting taken down.

Really?

It's really hard for things to become the song in the summer if we can't be popping our pussies to it on TikTok.

So yeah.

Yeah.

Well, for you.

Yeah, you know.

Empathetic, yeah.

Yeah.

You're so empathetic.

A yeah in solidarity.

I love that.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

If it's the fifth and final story, that's brought to you by State Farm.

It is.

State Farm will like this story.

Oh, good.

This episode of The Toast is supported by State Farm.

We know our toasters can agree that nothing feels better than a personal win.

Like when you get your final piece of furniture delivered to your apartment, your home feels really complete, hitting a workout, personal best during a run, if you will.

Maybe you're a toaster who managed to stop for a much-needed iced coffee and still made it to work on time, or you found a new pair of jeans that finally fit perfectly.

Whatever it is, if you define it as a win, it's cause for celebration.

And who's cheering right beside you?

State Farm through all phases of your life.

Because with the State Farm personal price plan, you can create an affordable price just for you when you bundle home an auto.

So celebrate by breaking out the confetti and those happy dance moves.

Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the new personal price plan.

What I love about State Farm is they've got all the girlies covered.

If you're super tech savvy, you know, you can do everything on the interwebs, app, website, not an issue.

If you're a little bit more traditional, you want to speak to an agent over the phone or in person, you can do that too.

Talk to a state farm agent today.

Learn how you can bundle and save with a personal price plan.

You know what I'm about to say, Jax.

Would you like to say it for me?

You mean sing it for you?

Yeah.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state.

Coverage options are selected by the customer.

Availability, amount of discounts, and savings, and eligibility may vary by state.

So say it with me.

Like a good neighbor, state farm is there.

Garchy.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Sachs.com.

Jackie and I are saying yes to the warm weather this year, and that means we are stepping up our wardrobes with the help of Sachs.com.

And I want to say our week of exciting tings like the 5K, the panel, the meet and greet, my week in LA is truly brought to you by Sachs.com.

I was really not looking forward to all of the things that I had to do because I had nothing to wear.

And there's just like...

You can't be excited about something no matter how fun it is if you don't know what you're going to wear and you're feeling like insecure with your options.

Sax.com makes it super easy to get a jump into spring and summer fashion trends as you're approaching the warmer seasons.

So, whether you need new boots for festival season, perhaps you're taking a last-minute impromptu expensive trip to St.

Bart's, or perhaps you're training for a 5K and you need some active wear, they've got you covered for everything you could possibly need this spring and this summer at Sachs.com.

Sachs.com makes it super fun and easy to shop on with brands that we love, like Stodd, Loueté, and Favorite Daughter.

Saks also does a great job of finding up-and-coming designers so you can hop onto new trends before everyone else.

A personal, um,

just sort of anecdote about a Sachs saved my life.

I have these pair of Stodd shorts that I bought from Stodd directly a while ago, and I looked at them the other day and they were seriously trashed.

They were white, and they looked online and they've literally been discontinued.

But Saks had my size, like seriously, saving lives.

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So discover new ways to shop for everything every day at sax.com.

That's S-A-K-S.com.

Our fifth and final story has been influenced, chosen because I was influenced by conversations we've been having on this show.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Otherwise, you would have gotten four.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

But I saw this story this morning, and it just, it was harking back to what we were talking about, ancient cities.

And there has been a discovery of a stretch of wall in ancient Jerusalem that vindicates the Holy Bible's claim and debunks like what archaeologists have thought for a while.

So it's kind of like

you have to explain from the start.

A scientific breakthrough has exposed the truth about an ancient site in Jerusalem, overturning expert opinion and vindicating the Bible's account.

Okay.

The Bible reigns supreme?

The Bible remains supreme.

Until now, experts believed a stretch of wall in the original heart of the city of Jerusalem was built by Hezekiah, king of Judah, whose reign straddled the 7th and 8th centuries BC.

He had seen his neighbors to the north, the kingdom of Israel, destroyed by the Assyrian Empire, and it was thought that he built the the wall to defend against the invaders.

But now, an almost decade-long study has revealed it was built by his great-great-grandfather, Uzziah, after a huge earthquake, echoing the account of the Bible after all.

The wall is in the city of David, the historic archaeological site that formed the original town of Jerusalem, according to the Bible.

So.

Okay, go off Bible.

Go off Bible.

I just feel like this is probably like a shit stain on the resume of these historians.

Like you literally have one job and you can't even do it.

It's like seriously humiliating.

That's how I felt last night watching the Knicks.

Like not to be so rude, but like up until the very end, they couldn't score any points.

And it's like literally, it's almost like you're being paid to make this points.

Like score.

For sure.

I do feel like being an archaeologist is a very hard job.

Like it requires a certain skill set.

I could see how they can get it wrong sometimes.

Like how can you date a rock?

Seriously.

But they do.

But there are measures in place.

It's actually, I think, quite easy to date a rock.

There are like ridges and shit.

Like, I actually don't think it's hard.

I'm just saying, to me, I'm impressed by archaeology and what they're able to do.

And there are oftentimes stories like this every once in a while, like, you know, Dead Sea Scrolls will be dug up, like really, really ancient things.

And it's always, you know, in Israel, the indigenous homeland of the Jews and everything that they dig up is just written in Hebrew and just goes to prove the point that the Jews have been there for thousands of years.

And it's fascinating.

No, I'm going to go back to something you said about archaeologists like being impressive.

I don't know.

I see them coming in with their little makeup brush, like dusting off a rock.

And it's just really hard.

I know what they do is important.

And I'm not, of course, you know, disqualifying that.

I just feel like they're really hard to take seriously with their little glasses and their little makeup brushes.

Like, I don't know.

And now stories like this coming out, like, they've been lying to us.

I don't know.

No, they're my best friend.

Yeah.

I guess

they got it wrong.

They're man enough to admit that.

That takes a big person.

And I do feel like that's probably the perfect segue into Queenie and Weenie of the Week because I've just found mine.

Archaeologists are your weenie?

No, actually, I have an amazing one.

Even though, like, they're verifying the claims of the Bible ultimately.

Even though, like, all of us, like, Bible thumpers have been like, we've been new, but okay.

Right, right, right, right.

But it is nice when, like, you know, facts in modern times

substantiate claims made in this book that sometimes people are like, this is a little whack for me, you know?

I agree.

No, it's nice, you know, for all the haters and doubters and non-believers, but it's also extremely cool.

Okay, I have like something to say about the Bible that can make it, might make me sound really stupid.

And we might need to cut this out but like I just have a question, okay?

Okay

So the pyramids as you guys know if you read the old testament Jews were slaves in Egypt Par oh made us build that backbreaking work of hundred, you know terrible terrible and now the pyramids are standing and of course there are people who don't like Read the Bible or believe in the Bible.

It's not their book like I totally understand.

There's like a million other religions.

How do those people think the pyramids like just popped up?

Like what's their like who built them according to you know non-bible consumers?

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, well, I guess anyone could have built them according to the two.

But what's like, what's like the going theory?

Do they think they've just been there for years and nobody knows where they came from?

Yeah, like, well, just like anything was, that was built.

Someone built it, builders.

But like, there would be history.

Like, they would know.

Where do people who don't believe in the Bible think that the pyramids came from?

Like, what's the opposing argument?

Do you know what I mean?

I don't know that you have to believe in the Bible to acknowledge that the pyramids were built likely by slaves in Egypt.

Yeah, I don't know.

I just like to say that.

Because that's not a mystic.

I think people who don't believe in the Bible will say, like, it's supernatural and mystical, and they don't believe in the miracles, but like the

facts, the story outside of...

you know, the parting of the Red Sea and things like that.

I don't know if they still dispute those things, but.

oh oh the history of it you mean just the yeah as a history book but i think some people have a hard time you know who aren't believers have a hard time seeing it as a history book because they don't believe in the whole thing they just throw away the whole thing but also people like people are born into a million different religions like so they just might not even

like think about it you know yeah i think like we're seeing it of course through our own lens yeah i i don't think they spend a lot of time like thinking about it they're just like oh you know they have their book.

We have ours.

Yeah.

Got it.

Okay.

That wasn't like so dumb, right?

We could leave that in.

No, and I think the people who do think about it, well, your book says this and my book says that, like, there's been wars fought over that.

Right.

It's giving crusades.

It's giving crusades.

Exactly.

Correct.

Okay, well, let's dive into weenie and weenie of the queeny.

Well, for me, it's always weenie and weenie.

Oh man, I just realized I've been slouching like literally the entire time.

I told you yesterday, you need to keep me like accountable.

I feel like in a sweatshirt, it's less noticeable.

Okay.

I feel like in a sweatshirt, like I look like a linebacker, but it is what it is.

Well, are you starting?

Are you making a high salary?

Cool.

What's wrong with being a linebacker?

They're professional athletes.

Yeah, they are.

I don't want to look like a professional male athlete.

I think that's okay to say.

We all have ideal body types.

I think that's true to the linebackers.

Justice for linebackers.

Great.

I bet

you're not.

I bet that linebacker wouldn't like saying, hey, you look like Claudia Ashre either.

Okay.

It's a point of pride for him to be wide and big.

For me, it's not.

I'm just a woman in this industry industry trying to survive, okay?

Is that okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Yeah.

I was trying to make you feel better, but okay.

Like you're a millionaire.

Congrats.

You're famous and successful.

You're on TV.

Literally, my dream.

Okay, Queenie and Weenie of the Week are weekly segment here that we do every Friday where Jackie and I just take a look at the week at a glance.

And we dole out two very prestigious awards, Queenie and Weenie of the Week.

Now, I want to say, I feel like your Weenie of the Week is going to be the terrorists at all the colleges.

But you know,

because it's so obvious, but I want to beg you.

I really, I want to beg you to reconsider.

Because Weenie of the Week is really supposed to be fun and lighthearted, and there's literally nothing lighthearted about what's going on there.

They're not weenies of the week.

They're actually the criminals of the week.

So I'm actually going to ask you to rescind and think about someone else.

Okay, but there are, there are criminals, there are terrorists, there are terrorist sympathizers, and there are also like serious weenies there who actually do not know what they're doing there.

Of course.

And they think,

and they think that they're like, they're revolutionary and they're fighting for freedom and like they are changing the world.

And they don't even realize they're being paid by George Soros to like upend world order.

Okay.

1,000%.

But I, but you're doing.

But I champion everything you say.

No, no, I'm not going to be able to do that.

I'm going to be a stickler.

I'm not a weenie.

I know.

I hear you.

Could their parents be the weenies?

No, because I actually saw a video of this mom who saw her kid on TV and she went over.

She literally, she must have lived nearby.

She drove over to campus and grabbed him by the fucking arm and started literally slapping him.

I loved it.

No, I love that.

Like she literally said, get in the car, we're going home.

These kids, like, you need to call their parents.

First of all, it's like, where are their parents?

How could they have raised such like brain dead moron seriously?

But then also, it's like, maybe, maybe that's why they wear the mask because they're scared of their mom.

Yeah, I mean, they also like.

Hi, mom.

I'm a turkey.

I don't know how fair it is to blame the parents.

Like, these kids have been away at school for four years.

A lot of them are like graduate students, maybe six years, and they've become radicalized by their institutions.

Like, the parents can only do so much.

They thought they were doing a good thing.

Oh, my kid got into Columbia.

Woohoo, I can go brag about it at the club.

For sure, but pay attention to what's going on to your child and who's paying for that?

You.

Pay attention, please.

You've got your pay-in, so you got to pay attention.

So my weenie, which I think really captures the essence of what weenie of the week should be.

Okay.

Is now, I don't want to sing Normani because I don't feel like it was her.

But at the end of the day, that's the industry we live live in.

Like it's going to reflect poorly on you.

But I'm going to say Normani slash Normani's management for totally mishandling and really bringing shame upon her house.

This whole, what is happening saga, the interview in the cut was disgraceful.

And seriously, they have dropped the ball on what should have been like a Camilla Cabello type career.

Yeah.

Now I understand why you didn't want me to say what I was going to say because you say terrorists and I say Normani.

And they're like, sorry, that's actually not very Normani.

They're not both weenies.

Right.

Of the same degree.

Like weenie, I think like it needs to remain unserious, you know?

I know.

I try.

And being a weenie is something you can be, we have said, you can one week be queenie and one week be weenie.

So I really true.

And these people could never be queenie.

Never.

And they'll never be queenie.

So I beg you to reconsider.

Okay.

Okay.

Reconsidered.

Now for Queenie.

Queenie, I I wanted to end on Queenie.

I want you to go first because I want to have the last word.

Okay, I don't like love my queenie, but honestly, people weren't giving queenie behavior this week.

Let me just say that.

Nobody acted in a way that dazzled me.

Okay, so no queenie for you.

No, I have a queenie.

It was Melissa McCarthy.

Like, I think what the barber thing, like, could have been really embarrassing for her.

Like, I would have died.

But she handled it with grace.

I loved the video she put out.

And seriously, like, she didn't even address like the Ozempic stuff.

Like, it's so awkward.

Seriously.

It had the potential to like start probably make someone cry.

If it was me, like, I might have cried.

Okay.

Who's yours?

My queenie is Claudia Ashre

because she is embarking on a 5K this weekend and she has been working so hard and she has completely changed her life and she is doing something new and doing something hard and she's been consistent with it and we are so proud of you and

You're just, you've been working so hard and that's queenie-like behavior.

Now all of your fruits, all your hard work, you're going to breeze through this thing And we're so proud of you.

Oh my God, this is so unexpected.

Oh, my God, this is so unexpected.

Like, seriously, I'm shaking.

I'm shaking.

No, like, everything you said is completely factually and historically accurate.

Like, I've changed my life.

I can do anything.

I literally, like, yeah, maybe I will run a marathon one day.

Like, my ass, I had, I'm literally dreaming about the 5K.

First of all, I didn't even share a personal best.

I ran the fucking 5K on Monday in 38 minutes.

And I took one extra minute because I was feeling like I'm kind of had to poop.

So I really, like, I'm currently tracking at 30.

Yeah, bitch, I did.

Thank you so much.

You're a queenie as well.

Sending you off on a queenie, leisurely week.

Have the best.

I will be a queenie this week.

Living like a queenie.

Yeah, as you should.

And then actually, I'll change my weenie to a fictional weenie.

Okay.

Only redheads will understand.

Oh.

Elise.

from the book that we read is my weenie of the week.

IYK, YK.

Yeah, Redheads Will Know.

Redheads will know.

And if you don't,

it's never too late to become a redhead.

We are not like, we're not exclusive whatsoever.

We welcome anyone who isn't a weenie.

We welcome anyone who's not living in an encampment.

Exactly.

Exactly.

I can't believe it.

Our bar is extremely large.

I just want to say something.

I want to admit something.

When we sat down to record record this episode, I had one story on my iPad and I didn't know how we were going to make it through the episode.

Oh, wow.

The truth is out.

That's so crazy.

I know.

And I'm not lying that I sat here for 45 minutes looking for stories.

And I just, I was being like, you know, too picky, whatever.

And then as the show went on, I kept rearranging.

And look at us.

Hour 15.

That's beyond impressive.

Like nothing.

Wow.

Well, that's queeny behavior, kind of.

No, Claude, take the.

Oh, yeah, it it could be just about you today

and every day okay but but tomorrow we go back to it being about you okay next monday see you next monday next monday jax we'll miss you next week you guys i'm super excited for next week thank you so much for an amazing week of shows i'm super excited for what's to come yeah and if you're missing so many of you tomorrow oh my god we'll see so many of you tomorrow and if you're missing me next week i'll be on the patreon still doing content like not actually ever taking off fully because I have too much to say.

They literally, like, she refuses to be silenced.

I won't do it.

I I won't go out quietly.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toasta Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast and where podcasts can be found.

So it's Spotify, Tunis, Discharge, Public Radio, IRAC, Box, all the places web visit and podcast messages at Toastmasters with five stars view about how beautiful, how stunning, how wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing and clayab weekend.

And I will see you on Monday with a very special guest.

Yay!

Love ya.

Bye.