AI Generated Butt Crack: Monday, April 29th, 2024

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Ugh, and happy Monday.

Ugh.

Thumbs down to whoever looking on the bright side.

Shall we?

What if we just looked on the bright side, Turtle?

I know.

Okay, let me, let's hear it.

Make your case.

Okay.

Exciting week ahead because every day of this week brings us one step closer to being together.

I like that.

I like that.

Also, this is our final week before Turtle's LA week.

Oh, and Turtle has firmed up her guest co-hosts and they are more star-studded than you can even imagine.

And I'm not even like being like exaggerated.

No, she's not.

So we have to make the most of this time together.

Like this is our last Monday together for two weeks.

And I didn't emo.

I'm feeling emo.

Even.

Did I tell you who I booked for my fifth and final?

No.

Okay, by the way.

Let's do reactions.

I'll text you day by day who I'm doing, okay?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you sent me the names when I asked you after last week's episode, but send me them again because I need to pick up.

And I just booked my Monday.

It's probably like the most famous person on the list.

I definitely spelled the name wrong.

Did you know that?

Yes, because that was in your text from last week.

I only just learned it, though.

My heart is warming up.

Wednesday, who's Wednesday?

I know who they are.

I just don't know which order.

I think she's Wednesday.

Wow, major.

Thursday.

Major.

How annoying are we?

Sound off in the comments.

I'm definitely getting this order wrong, but whatever.

And then family.

Bringing it home.

Yeah, so I've just been like kind of bringing it home with you.

I've just been like booking, you know, bookings, bookings, bookings.

You love to see it.

I mean, what else is there to do in LA other than make deals, shake hands?

That's pretty much what I'll be doing the entire week.

Oh, and running a 5K, but I won't talk about it.

And running a 5K.

No biggie.

Small.

Things she's doing.

5K.

I'm actually running the 5K with Ben and Josh, who I saw last night.

And, you know, Josh is like a, he's a person who is in like very, like, he's already in shape.

He, like, I think like run before the 5K, like he had been on a run, you know, somewhat recently.

Ben and I on Friday, on Saturday, excuse me, and I'll just get my running anecdote out of the way really quick.

Um,

Ben like started his training, like literally day one.

And let me tell you, he couldn't run for more than a minute.

And we ran for the same amount of time, but so we ran for 25 minutes.

I set a new personal goal of running two miles without stopping.

It took me about 24 minutes.

And

when we were done, Ben was like, I literally like just walked.

And I'm like, okay, but he had run, like his distance had been 1.7.

Like it's not fair being a boy.

He has like these long strides.

I'm over here huffing and puffing for 25 minutes, like working the hardest I've ever worked.

Ben's going for a brisk walk and like jogging for 30 seconds at a time.

And we net net did similar distance.

A lot of things are unfair about being a man versus being a small girl.

He probably gets allotted double the amount of calories that we do in a day.

Let me look on the bright side, shall I?

When you lose five pounds, it's major.

You're a different person.

When he loses five pounds, nobody notices.

On the dark side, though, it's very easy for him to lose five pounds.

And for us littles, it's not.

Yeah, no, I think a lot about,

you know, the differences between Ben and I.

And I've started to think about them even more being on this health journey with him.

Like a bad day on his health journey is nothing.

He could still lose weight.

And me, I'm set back a month from one day.

Like,

it's not fair.

I like low-key, hate ben

it no but it's just girly tings on this one it's not ben specific it's just men versus women

men are from mars women are from venus literally

literally two different planets

and i didn't really talk to you i didn't talk to you either and i i want to face time with you after this face time to get like all the behind the scenes dets but i didn't talk to you at all because i really had an amazing weekend something kind of monumental has happened around here,

which is that a nice new little park opened up.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was at the park all weekend.

You guys, don't, don't look for her.

We were at the park all weekend.

And I was talking about this on my episode with Josh Peck, like things you appreciate as a parent.

New park and new park, like not, not shitting.

New park.

It's kind of like just changed the social scene around here.

We're like constantly going to the park with our neighbors, like meeting up at the park.

We just like post up at the park.

It's kind of like when you were describing the new kosher market

as just being like the center of the social universe.

That's kind of, that's kind of what the park has done for us.

So that was really like my entire resume spent at the park.

I thank you for putting it into perspective, like kind of the analogy of the kosher market.

Like I totally get what you're saying.

Everything's changed.

Like there will only be BP and AP before park and after park.

Yeah.

So

parents, sound up in the comments, how long till your kids get sick of a specific park?

Like, could it go on forever?

Or like once they've, how many times do they have to go before they're like, okay, we've seen this?

That's actually a good point.

Well, think about it.

You have to.

I feel like it could go a really long time.

You have like a swing set jungle gym item.

Yeah.

Are the kids still into it?

Yes.

Yes, they are.

That's basically a mini park.

Yeah.

Oh, also, Josh Peck, should we just call this episode?

Should we just call him up and get him on the episode because we can't stop talking about him?

He told me that a mini park is actually called a parklet.

Oh, I don't know if that's true.

i hope it is a parklet l-et or l-et-t-t-e

i think l-e-t-t-e that means living french

yeah we're kind of french would you say the new park in your neighborhood is a park or a parklet

i'd say it's a parklet

let's not get ahead that's amazing have you ever been to a national park

uh

i i guess not yeah no i haven't either i've been i've been to yellowstone that's a park the town

I guess it's within.

Did you go in the park?

I don't know if where I was staying was like in the park, but we didn't go to like the geezers and such.

It's really crazy to have a picture of the picture.

Let me check out a map.

By the way, I don't know if I necessarily knew that Yellowstone was a town in addition to a park, but I guess that's what the show's about.

Yeah, like do the Duttons live in Yellowstone National Park?

No, because it's national.

They live in National Park.

Right.

I bring up national parks because I saw this TikTok of somebody who had like been to all of them and she was ranking like the best hiking trails.

And I've literally never been to a national park.

I don't go on hikes, but I watched the whole thing because she had great footage.

And I think I want to go to a national park.

Like they look really insanely beautiful.

Like you can't believe it's America.

I think I stayed on the outskirts of Yellowstone National Park.

I agree.

You know who kind of always is finding herself in a national

thatchel.

Satchel, Cratchell, Thatchell.

Hey, Satch.

How you doing?

Listening to us.

Miss you.

Miss you.

She's at Stagecoach.

So yeah, this weekend, so Shannon and I did not go to Stagecoach this year.

Shannon had a couple of shows on her tour booked.

And so when she said she wasn't going, I was like, okay, I can't be like the oldest person at Stagecoach.

Like having Shannon was like my buddy and I'm not going to go with Margo and her friend.

So I'm like, you know what?

You kids go, have the best time.

And we were texting each other on Saturday morning, being like, oh my God, like we have no FOMO.

It kind of looks boring.

We were being like such haters because Friday night was Eric Church.

Margo said his performance was very strange.

She didn't, it was like all acoustic, very boring.

People were walking out.

So I was like, oh my God, thank God.

Like, honestly, thank God.

And I was like, it doesn't look girly pop at all.

And were we eating our words yesterday last night?

Not only did Miranda Lambert absolutely slay on Saturday night, she brought out Reber.

Like

it's turdy-coated.

And Margo's story is like, it just looked amazing.

And then last night was Morgan Wallen, which like everyone knew was going to be amazing.

And everyone was like, turdy, why didn't you go?

Oh, and last week when I was saying how I'm not going to explain myself anymore, I couldn't think of like the example I was thinking of.

It It was like everyone asked me why I didn't go to stagecoach.

Like, do I need to have a reason?

But if you're looking for one, here it is.

A lot of people were like, she was supposed to be in Israel.

No, actually, I was coming back.

I

wasn't like deeply moved by the set list, the set list, the lineup.

Then Shannon wasn't going.

And it's like a lot of work.

It's really far.

The outfits, it's like expensive.

And I don't know, I did it last year and I was just like, I'm not going to do it.

And I'm like living a life of regret.

It looked amazing.

Well, Morgan Wallin's performing at at MetLife in three weeks, and I wanted to talk to you about that online.

The other thing is that the only person there, like, I really like was dying to see was Morgan Wallen.

I've never seen him in my life.

I am seeing him in three weeks.

Like, I'll be fine.

Okay, yeah, I was gonna text you about that.

We'll chat offline.

We'd love to chat offline with you.

Should we set a time?

Uh, yeah, when we got,

yeah, because we're like on set,

yeah, we're on set doing major movie things.

MMT.

This is a movie.

Life is a movie when you're Jackson-Turd.

If we were a movie,

you'd be the right girl.

Isn't it crazy that there are two songs?

There's a Taylor Swift.

Right.

If this were a movie.

I don't know.

Why am I literally...

It's a Vault track, right?

I think it's like an OG fearless.

Taylor Swift.

I don't think so.

If this was a movie.

Yeah, wait.

Taylor's version.

Is it a vault?

My own heart beating sounded like footsteps.

Is it evolved track?

Come back, come back, come back to me, Eli.

Eli.

And then where does this wear a movie?

Oh.

You would, you would if this was a movie.

Standing in the rain, it's not terrible.

Speaking of Taylor Swift, I spent so much time listening to TTPD this weekend.

Okay, there will be time for you to discuss that within the fast five seconds.

She said, shut up.

Within the freight?

No, because we're going to talk about Taylored, and I don't want to talk about her twice.

I don't want to double-check her.

I'm just looking down at my hand.

I was out to dinner with my, sorry, lunch with my good friend Shannon Ford yesterday.

She's just so fabulous.

Like, you just want to compliment everything.

And I was like, oh my God, I love your ring.

Can I try it on?

And she was like, yeah, I put it on my middle finger.

And she was like, honestly, it's a middle finger ring and it doesn't fit my middle finger.

You can have it.

I want to see.

And that's what you get for giving compliments, you know?

Gifts.

You never know when you're just going to be.

I love it, but like it just doesn't work on the finger that I need it to.

And honestly, let it have a second life with you.

And I was just kind of taken by that.

That's really nice.

And it's not tit for tad.

And I'm sure she did it out of the good.

What did she give you?

Oh, no.

That's not what I was going to say.

I was going to say, like, now you just need to have that in mind to maybe repay the favor one day.

I thought you were going to say, have it in mind, just like keep complimenting her.

Maybe like, I'll get something else.

No, the opposite.

Like, give her something one day.

I'm now like, I, oh, Shannon, one, me, zero.

Yeah, but it's not tit for tie.

She didn't do it today.

You'll give her something, but you should lead with that generosity of spirit as well.

I love that, first of all.

And second of all, being with Shannon sparks something I want to talk about on the toast today.

You know, we always joke that we have a chip on our shoulder, and we do.

But I found myself being extra chippy yesterday.

totally separate from our usual chip.

And I was trying to explain it to Ben and I don't really know what the right word is.

I think, I guess it's like dazzling.

Shannon has this real energy, this spirit about her.

We're like, we go to a restaurant, like the waiter falls in love with her.

We go to, we went shopping afterwards.

Like, I was invisible.

Like, it was just the Shannon show.

And she's not even trying.

She just has this like dazzling energy about her.

And I literally, like,

it was my cross to bear, like, my invisible, my cloak of invisibility, just honestly, standing in Shannon's shadow.

I had a chip on my shoulder the whole day.

I was like, hi, I'm here too.

Okay,

that's cool.

I was like, really?

I took it personally.

Well, I want to to say something.

Shit.

And not to take away from Shannon because I know exactly what you're talking about.

She's just like all eyes on Shannon.

You know, people who don't know her, like, there's just something

magnetic about her, like, especially if she walks into a store like fashion.

I want to help out.

I want to help Shannon because if I'm working there, you're judging people for sure based on commission.

Yeah.

Like, yeah.

So, and I feel like Shannon's going to buy something.

However, it's not fair for you to have a chip about that because you like, you have a magnetism as well.

like when we're at a table with like a group of people say we go to like everybody wants to talk to you so nice

like the center of the table is like wherever you're sitting and then like the further away you are from claudia like the less involved you are in the conversation that's like i'm literally gonna cry the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me is that true

It's so true.

I feel like every, you're just like, oh my God, the center.

And then everything else just like

in your ripples.

It's a lot of people to like an attention-seeking whore like me.

Like, I'm not okay.

I'm the center.

So it's like, it's a little different.

It's a little different than Shannon's dazzle.

But you have a dazzle all of your own.

And people could have a chip about that.

Like, how come everyone wants to talk to Turdy?

How come everyone's having had Turdy's jokes?

It's like, if you're not sitting close to Turdy, you just hear the laughter and you don't know why everyone's laughing.

But you've not experienced.

When we were shopping, like my ass was so invisible.

Like I literally spent so much money just to prove a point.

Like I was being crazy.

And I actually have like really bad anxiety about how much money I spent yesterday.

But like we, me and Shannon were shopping.

We like bought bags and I was like, maybe gonna buy one.

But the way this guy like went, I was like, I'll take it.

And he was like, okay.

Like he did not care.

And I can't believe you made so many purchases and you didn't even like send me a pic.

Like that's fucking turdy.

What about me?

I have a chip.

It's disgusting, but like I had Shannon, you know?

No.

Another red-headed friend.

That's that's wrong.

And don't even try and put Shannon in between you and I.

That's not right to do to Shannon.

And Shannon, it was good to see Shannon's face completely healed.

Like,

yeah.

So I had like an amazing Sunday, just like being a sword.

It was 79 degrees.

Like you were not going to catch the girlies inside.

We were out all day.

We went to lunch.

They tried to seat us inside.

But of course, Shannon to the rescue.

And I was like, Shannon, you know what?

If we want to move, get our table moved outside, like we have to tip.

So it, but I wasn't going to be the one to tip.

I don't have that, that sort of suave energy, but it was my money.

So it's like Shannon, the guy was like loving Shannon.

I'm like, I paid.

It was my 50.

Like I was, Jackie, I was being.

Yeah, that's rough.

Jane, I wasn't the best version of myself yesterday.

I'm so sorry, but you have so much else going on for you is what I was trying to say.

And it's like, okay, once you did get the table outside, like then it's your table.

Oh, you know, we saw a couple of housewives.

We saw Alexia and Marisol.

They were together eating lunch.

They were sitting outside.

Nice.

It was very, like, Shannon was like, oh, there's a housewife.

And she didn't know who it was.

And like, it was painful trying to get her to like.

explain to us who it was.

We couldn't see her.

And we were like, go, go.

And she was like, oh, I feel like she's from New Jersey.

Like, she was really being, me and Taylor were like, to tell us.

Then we eventually saw who it was.

She had seen Alexia.

She didn't even notice Myersol.

Got it.

How fun.

Parklet, chip

toast.

Toast.

Yeah, I think we're ready.

Other than that, oh, I caught up on BPR this weekend.

So I'll try and I'll try and stay consistent and recap when it's on this week.

But I was seriously emo at Lala's sperm donor party.

Like the way this girl has my heart, I can't even tell you.

And it's so funny because the

like Stan Twitter, where I get like a lot of, like, where I take the temperature on things, they're turning on Lala.

Like they're, everyone's like, kind of hating Lala.

So it makes sense that you're timing, like, like you guys, you're, you are two ships passing in the night with popular opinion.

For sure, but I always love Lala.

Like she's just someone who I'll love through thick and thin.

And right now, like I'm finding it very easy to love her.

Like she's so unbothered.

She's unbothered, but she's also like

growing and changing and just like doing hard things and taking it all in stride i just have so much respect for her and i was seriously like i was getting teary eyed that

yeah it was really really nice

i forget what else happened who gives her life is just a cycle of catching up on your shows you know

yeah i mean i was so behind I'm so behind on like everything else.

I finished my book, Serena Williams, and it was so good.

And now I'm reading the book for the Redheads, which is also like some historical thing imaging.

And it really pairs in comparison.

Like, it's like silly historical fiction.

And I'm like, this is silly compared to like the heft of what I did.

I feel like that's in my future because I'm like 75% thorough with Demon Copperhead.

And I am loving it so much.

And it's just kind of changing my perspective on the world.

I was actually saying, I was talking to Shannon yesterday because she called herself a hillabilly.

And I was like, you know what?

I'm actually not going to use that word anymore because this book that I'm reading, and then I got out of my soapbox, you know, moral superiority.

I'm reading a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel and I go for jogs.

I'm loving it.

I like don't want to finish it, even though the part that I'm at now is like, I think I knew it was coming the whole time because you can't talk about like, you know, Appalachia without, you know, someone having an addiction.

And

I've reached that point and it's sad.

Yeah, it's sad, but

we'll talk when you finish.

When you finish the book.

After I read that, I wanted more.

Appalachia.

I don't know what after.

Yeah, after I read that, I think then I watched Dope Sick, but you've already watched Dope Sick, right?

And then I read Hillbilly Elegy because I thought it was going to be like the non-fiction version of kind of this story.

And it didn't do for me what I thought it was going to do, honestly.

But it was, it wasn't very long, so it was fine.

Okay.

So I know the feeling.

Of heft.

Of like a book hangover, kind of, too.

And then it's just like, you're so, like, you, like, I'm reading a Pulitzer Surprise.

Like, I'm so.

like educated, you know?

Yeah.

And now I feel like dumb.

I'm wasting my time.

Like, not to shade the redheads, and it is a a citch's choice, which means everyone's gonna love it.

And I'm just

being like a hater to my core.

But that's just kind of where I'm at.

So I just thought I would update everyone.

I'm where I am.

Love that.

Which is here.

Love.

With you.

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Our first story, tailored weekend update.

Two things to discuss, plus Turdy's thoughts on GTPD.

First, Taylor and travis shared a sweet moment at a chatter charity gala in footage shared by patrick mahomes the mahomes family had a charity event uh this weekend taylor accompanied travis and they were seen looking glamorous like we're getting nothing like they were there and we know that because there's like four blurry pictures and videos going around from different angles of the same moment we're latching onto it for dear life like psychoanalyzing the body

language language um but there's nothing there, which is devastating.

And then, part do is that Charlie Pooth reacted to his name check on the tortured poets department in a way that is weird to me, that is reading weird, especially from the Pooth standard.

He hasn't said anything.

This is probably the biggest thing to ever happen to him, and sorry, it will ever happen to him.

And part of me like respects that he's not being thirsty about it, but like, cause like you could, that couldn't be me.

I'm getting name-dropped.

Like, do you know, by the way, do you know, so there's a line in So High school are you gonna marry kiss or kill me and it's from that viral video where a million years ago travis is being interviewed by like a sideline reporter and she's like marry fuck kill ariana grande katie perry taylor swift and

the girl the sideline interviewer she came up on my tick tock jackie she is like deceased beyond belief every video she makes is like The fact that Taylor had seen a video of her.

Like she can't get over it.

I saw one of her videos.

What was his answer, by the way?

He was going to kiss Taylor, but who was he going to marry?

I don't know.

That's actually a good point.

I'm not sure.

And, like,

in that game, like, the highest honor is Mary, right?

Well, I don't know.

It's all circumstantial.

Right.

It's all circumstantial.

Yeah, but I saw that.

No, so all is that to say, like, if you were referenced on the album, like, you'd be crapping your pants.

Meanwhile, Charlie Pooth has done nothing about that.

Reposted a slide from her Instagram carousel, and he didn't even give any commentary.

Like,

by the way, that's true.

Travis said, that's messed up.

I don't want to kill any of them, he told the host, ultimately killing off Ariana Grande, kissing Taylor, and marrying Katy Perry.

I think

that's better than marrying Ari, don't you think?

Yeah, well, now, like, you know, Katie and Taylor are friends.

I do often think about how, like, Taylor and Ariana have been like, there's not one

anything.

Like,

well, when she did her You Need to Calm Down video, and she had like drag queens of all the pop stars, she did have Ariana.

I mean, she couldn't not.

And I don't think they per se have beef.

I think they've never acknowledged one another, mostly and recently because up until recently, Ariana was like scooter's girly.

Oh, true.

And I also feel like some people just aren't meant to be friends and wouldn't get along on a personal level.

And those two seem like that.

Okay, wait, also, this morning, I was looking at Taylor's Instagram.

It's really so crazy to me that, like, even after all of this, you know, Taylor is the Beatles, this monumental peak of fame.

Like, Selena Gomez has 100 million more followers than her, so does Kim Kardashian.

And I know Taylor, like, never posts.

And honestly, like, as a big Swifty, you actually don't need to follow Taylor on Instagram.

She never posts.

And when she does, it's news instantly.

Like, you can,

you can consume.

No, it's still, it's weird, especially because it's not like Selena has the most bussing Instagram.

She's always taking a break.

Like, Kim obviously works at the algorithm, the feeds, the

job.

It's her job.

On her resume, it's kind of like the number one thing, being like a social media influencer.

That's the hub of everything else.

Oh, and reality TV star, but it is weird that Selena has 100 million more than Taylor.

That legit makes no sense.

It's the craziest thing.

So that's what I was thinking about this morning.

Now, TTPG, let me tell you, I'm currently hyper-fixating on So High School, the song about Travis, especially like the chorus makes me like, no, not the chorus, excuse me, the bridge.

It makes me like dead ass giddy.

I'm over here, like twirling my feet when she's like,

I

feel like laughing

in the middle of practice

of that impression you did of your dad.

Again, like, I'm obsessed.

That song is so good.

And I have decided, not to be like a hater, like, I have decided what the worst song in the album is.

And if anyone wants to hear it, like, let me know.

You can disagree.

You will be wrong.

I've seen people saying it's their favorite song.

I actually, like, and I literally would lay my life out on the line for, like, I think it's a bad song.

Okay, I'm listening.

And I just like, I hate to be so negative because what the message is is that I spent the whole weekend listening to the album and I couldn't be more obsessed with it.

Like, it's incredible.

Okay.

But there's an actual like bad song on it.

And every time it comes on, I'm like, oh, the bad song.

What song?

You guys aren't ready.

Like, it's a very hot take.

I'm ready.

It's the, I'm sat, as the kids say.

The alchemy.

Oh, that's fine with me.

I haven't harped on it too much.

I think I've listened to like the first eight songs a number of times.

I'm still like, I'm breaking it up into chunks.

Like, it's going to be like three separate albums for me.

And I love, I don't really harp on the alchemy or guilty as sin.

So guilty as sin

is good.

It's getting a lot of attention right now.

The chorus, a lot, I mean, the bridge, a lot of people are

trying to decode.

What if he's written mine on my upper thigh?

Okay, go through your.

I really, I really like, I know this is like a basic answer, but I really like who's afraid of little old me.

That's the best song of the album.

It's so good.

And I really like the line, like, um, teeth?

We took out all her teeth.

Yeah, it reminds me of the greatest shirt and also the book I was just reading.

Like, you know, in that era, like, they, that was entertainment, like

freaks, freaks and dogs and things.

And it, like, literally feels great as showman coded to me, which is important.

I saw a, um,

someone who theorized that the song is actually like a response to Olivia Rodrigo.

Um, I don't actually see it that way.

I've seen that the song is about the music industry, like,

and all the people, like, who's who?

Who's that?

And, like, they're who's afraid of me?

You should be.

Yeah.

And also another song about the music industry is Claribo.

Just about how it's like, we're always looking for the next hot young thing.

And it's like, you get to a certain and you're like, grandma, bye, Stevie next bye, Taylor Swift.

Bye.

Yeah, so Claribo, I haven't, I barely, I think that's where I keep going like back to the top.

Cause like the Black Dog and Down, I've only listened to like, thank you, Amy.

Um,

Because I'm still in the first half.

So okay, let me tell you something.

I'm going to be taking my time with these.

Peter is so good.

Like, it's so good.

Love Peter.

Now, I also saw another theory about the manuscript, which is the last song on the album.

And it's not even a theory.

It's just like how they're interpreting the song as being sort of like a sequel to All Too Well and just like about this heartbreak.

But

so much has happened because of that song that like, you know, she looks at it so differently now.

And she has said that on tour many times, like used to be the song she like couldn't sing without crying.

And now she doesn't even think about the heartbreak.

She thinks about all the memories and all the people who love the song and all the well-tended version.

Like, and I think the manuscript is sort of like closing the chapter on that.

And I really liked that interpretation of it.

And if you listen to it, you can see it too.

Nice.

And apparently, Robin is about Aaron Dessner's daughter, baby.

I didn't see that.

Someone told me that.

They thought I would like it because of that.

And I, so I listened.

And then, you know, when you listen to a song, like, ready to pay attention, then you forget to pay attention.

Yeah.

Also, Honorable Mention.

I'm loving the bolter, but the way you were it's like claribeth is scared to death i've been the bolter like that's what i keep oh for sure but also it reminds me of that animated movie miley cyrus did bolt i thought i lost you when you ran away to try to find me

i thought i'd never see your sweet face again i love that miley song what the hell movie are you talking about why don't i know that reference It's about a dog who runs away.

I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me.

The dog ran away.

I think it was a dog that was, he was like a famous dog on the set, and he didn't realize that he was like Truman

show style and he ran away to like try and find his girl.

Like, yeah, it's, it's really intricate.

But it's just an animated movie.

Didn't really go anywhere other than into the deep wells of my heart.

Now, do you think that Taylor will perform TTPD songs at the Eras tour?

Yes, I think there will be a TTPD era.

After midnights.

Wherever she wants to.

Right, I guess she doesn't go chronologically, so she could put it anywhere.

I don't think after midnights, because you're not going to end on it.

Right, you're going to end

the way it ends, like karma, the confetti, the colors, like it's so the perfect way to end a show.

Um, but she released, she obviously has some partnership with YouTube because she's released two YouTube shorts where I've learned more than I've learned in the last 10 years.

And she had some rehearsal footage in there, and somebody like, you know, pointed out there is like something that looks like the TTPD logo.

So I think it's like pretty much confirmed that she is going to do it.

I'll be very interested to see.

And do you think?

I think that's just like, I feel like, forgive me if we've had this conversation.

I might have had it offline with someone or I might have had it online with you.

Do you think that's how she'll, by the way, we definitely had this conversation.

She'll just keep doing this forever.

She'll do Eras tour forever, adding new eras, taking things out in, and like, she won't ever be on that track again where she does album tour, album tour, album tour.

Perhaps, but I do think like once this Eras tour is over, like there will be a long break and then she might come back and do, not call it Eras, but like play the greatest hits, but again, not a greatest hits.

But I was actually thinking that her next album, if it's about like everything like the end of everything after ttpd i think it could be called eras

oh and it would be called the eras tour

and then it would be the eras like because this everything post ttpd is eras

that's true actually like i liked i like that actually you sound like a crazy swifty but i like it

It just came to me.

And she likes a one-name one job.

She's also just not someone to like ever really repeat, you know?

She's very original.

I also feel like.

I'm just saying, it came to me just like baby Doreen.

I had to share.

I do feel like culturally, though, the word Eras is over.

It was hot.

Oh, it's her word.

It was hot for a minute, like in the zeitgeist.

Like, I'm in my villain era.

Well, I feel like if she,

like, it's an, it's, it's a real word.

It's a good word.

And I think she can keep it alive if she wants to.

Love that.

If anyone can do it.

And it could be her word.

So her and baby Doreen and baby Olivia will be writing the next album called Eras.

That's my theory.

Love.

Okay, are you ready for our next story?

So that's closing out the Taylor Swift talk for today.

Okay, let me just make sure I didn't like have any more thoughts about the album.

Yeah.

Our next story.

Sophia Bush reflects on coming out by sharing a quote from poet Maggie Smith.

So Sophia Bush is feeling freer than ever after coming to terms with her sexuality.

In a candid essay for Glamour's April cover, the actress

reflected on her divorce from Grant Hughes and also revealed her relationship with soccer player Ashlyn Hannis.

She also admitted that this year felt like her very first birthday as she wrote, I finally feel like I can breathe.

She continued to reflect on the striking piece.

on Instagram, revealing that poet Maggie Smith has inspired much of her revelations and her thoughts on her birthday in particular.

She said, I feel like last summer I had my very first birthday, my own.

And last summer, Maggie Smith's words helped me begin to understand why.

From afar, she helped me put myself back together.

Now, of course, like, is this the Dowager Countess?

Maggie Smith.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

Who the fuck is Maggie Smith, if not the Dowager Countess?

The thing is, I'm sure we could look at my.

I'm not interested.

I prefer this version.

Agreed.

I feel like Sophia Bush is doing everything in her power to, like,

come out the other side of this scandal.

as anything other than like the other woman and no literally nobody is purchasing what she's selling.

Like I was reading like comments and just like, people are obsessed with this story because it really is so crazy.

And like her rewriting history, and I'm sure that everything she's saying is true.

Like that is her experience.

I'm sure she was really unhappy in her marriage and like she probably feels amazing.

But like to not really address the elephant in the room, like don't do press.

Just what's the elephant?

The cheating?

She like befriended this couple, these two women soccer players.

Everyone was obsessed with them when they won the World Cup.

They ended up getting married, had a baby, like so cute.

Everyone was obsessed.

And then literally like Sophia Bush like befriended both of them, like became obsessed with soccer.

Sophia Bush is like the part owner.

And like, she's in the soccer world of that, like, LA women's team that Eva Longoria does.

She befriended this couple and literally burned it down from the inside.

And now it's just like

weird and happy.

And like, that's amazing.

But what about the other stuff?

Question mark.

Yeah.

I don't keep up with this story whatsoever.

Like, I guess because I never watched One Tree Hill,

I don't have ties to Sophia Bush.

I don't have ties to her either.

I come at this story because I followed the soccer players as a women's soccer fan.

I followed both of them.

I loved following their journey.

Like, I'm not, I don't keep up with the women's soccer team either.

So everyone is like so caught up in this story.

And I'm just like on the outside looking in.

Oh, oh, you know, it's.

And from my perch, I'm like, happy for Sophia, Mazzleto.

It's happy for her.

It's more than that.

Like, it's.

No, I know.

That's why I'm sitting and listening.

I'm sad.

You're sad.

Yeah.

As you should.

You need to decentralize yourself from this conversation.

That's classic me.

I am, like, I can't get enough of this.

And I actually like in another world.

And I can see like down the line, like people becoming obsessed with this couple, like for sure.

But

Allie Krieger is kind of the injured party here.

And like no one is getting over it on her behalf.

And then today I went to her Instagram because like all this happened over the weekend.

I was like, has she posted?

Because when it all went down, she was like posting things with shady captions, just like acknowledging, you know, the weird place she found herself in.

She's just, she's just posting a ton of ads for White Claw.

So, you know what?

Go off, Queen.

She's running to the bank.

I love that for her.

And then also, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris were on the red carpet together at the White House correspondence dinner, which isn't a story, but I would love to talk about some of the random people who attended.

I am like obsessed with you bringing that up.

And I just,

I, I don't personally, the White House Correspondence Dinner, I don't understand what it is.

Like, how can it be a place where the president and Britney Cartwright are both at?

Like, I don't, and like in recent years, everyone from Vanderpump Rules has been going, like, how is that?

It's a influencer event.

I literally don't get it.

No, it's an influencer event.

So it's, it's like a night for,

Megan McCain calls it nerd prom.

It's like for

DC people and media people.

And because they're always like working together and, you know, press conferences, whatever, it's like one night where we're going to like kick our heels back and we have comedians and we're just going to like have fun.

I think it's like

not even supposed to be super partisan but media companies get tables

and they want yeah and they want to be it's exactly like that they want to be buzzy so then they invite people got it who might like make some headlines in a not in a bad way but like then we'll be talking about that media brand it's like i don't get it but positioning it like the mechanic like the mechala is also confusing and also the mech gala is a week away I know we actually have a Met Gala story if it's next.

If we could just, yeah, discuss this for one second.

So Brittany and Jax went to the White House

correspondence brunch.

They went to the brunch.

I only saw Brittany.

I don't know if I saw Jax.

I saw him at the brunch.

They walked the carpet separately.

And then the actual dinner, I think just Brittany was at.

Got it.

Maddie Prue was at the dinner.

Yeah, they walked it separately.

Did you see the separate sector?

Maddie Prue was at the White House correspondence dinner.

I'm not going to let up on that.

Yeah, no, it's definitely interesting.

Is she the first bachelor, former bachelor contestant?

I feel like no

yeah um but wait what what was i about to say

oh conspiracy conspiracy that jax cheated on britney with his publicist who he's always posting with like that's the running theory is that that what that's what happened in their marriage is it that publicist that everyone's always with yeah and honestly like if that's true and britney's the one who moved out like that's insane to me

First of all, the wife always stays.

Like the fact that she didn't is so crazy.

But also if he actually cheated and then had the absolute gall to not leave the house.

I haven't,

this is coming out of Wetfield for me.

I cannot comment on the matter.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

She's giving no comment.

Also, I feel like sometimes you want to leave.

Like, okay, keep your smelly house.

Like, I'm going to go get

rental in the hills.

That's so true.

And you can stay here with all the dishes and the mess you made.

Literally and figuratively.

Yeah.

What was the story?

Who else was there?

Oh, the Sophia Bush, but then White House correspondent.

Jax.

Jax was at the dinner.

Like, it's the craziest thing to me.

It doesn't make sense.

I need this list to also say who brought them.

Right.

Because the Christian Broadcast Network brought Maddie Pruitt.

And that tracks.

By the way, that tracks.

I feel like the Daily Mail bought Jax and Brittany.

Perhaps.

Christian

Broadcast Network.

Why didn't the Jewish Broadcast Network invite us?

You're going to have to bring that up with them.

They'll be hearing from my people.

Yeah.

But our next story is about the Met Gala

because Anna and Tor is catching fire for

partnering with TikTok for the Met Gala.

So this year's Met Gala is sponsored by TikTok.

The editor-in-chief of Vogue, Annawin Tor, will be joined by TikTok CEO Shu Chu on the red carpet just days after a bill was signed into law to ban the Chinese social media platform or force its sale.

So this sponsorship was inked like way before the ban.

But I don't think Anna

gives a fuck.

She needs the money.

It's an expensive affair.

And

who's going to have more money right now than TikTok?

Like go off.

I think what's interesting about it is like, where does that put TikTokers?

Now, Anna, like, she needs the money, but she's very specific about people.

Like, just because it's sponsored by TikTok doesn't mean, you know, all the TikTokers get to come.

But I do think we'll see two or three.

And I would love to theorize on who they are because I think for sure Alex Earl is going to go.

Okay.

We've seen TikTokers in the past, though.

Yeah, but it's always like, first of all, when YouTube, the thing is, what do you consider a TikToker now?

Because the influencers that I know who went, they went when it was YouTube who sponsored the entire event.

James Charles, Jackie Ina, Nikki, tutorials.

No, but like, what about the D'Amelios?

Don't forget.

Addison Ray.

Yeah, but to me, they're not TikTokers.

They're celebrities.

For sure, but like they are TikTokers.

And especially years ago, they were, and years ago they were going.

Yeah, I I think they'll go again, not Addison.

I think Charlie and Dixie will go.

I think Alex Earl will go.

I think Addison will go.

Like Emma Chamberlain, but she's she's a fashionite now.

She's not.

She's not a TikToker.

She's a YouTuber.

Right, right.

But I'm trying to think of like who's who, like, who's the it girl of TikTok right now?

The who's who.

That's what I was thinking.

Of TikTok.

I couldn't.

I think I'm the it girl of TikTok, honestly.

Everyone's like, where is she?

Me when I'm delusional.

Literally, same.

Where is she?

I actually am going to the Metal Act because I am the it girl of TikTok.

Like, who's like fashiony?

Oh, like, oh, you know who I feel like could go?

Brittany Xavier.

She's like so fashiony and so TikToky.

Yeah.

And yeah, she is.

She's not like Revolve.

Like that's like not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about like

Dior.

By fashion.

People who do.

I have her baby showers were brought to you by Dior.

I feel like she could go.

Someone who's like above, like everyone like is like, you know, fashiony when they wear like their ASOS, but I'm talking about like a real.

What about Pookie?

It's tough.

I feel like,

and I feel like Ada's very specific about not inviting people who are viral, but who, like, Alex Earl, I feel like, is past the point of virality.

She is.

Oh, for sure.

I feel like Pookie might be like falling into like that viral trope, you know?

Perhaps, but she's the most fashion and high-fashion, viral girly there is.

She also, I think, has legit teams because she goes to like legit things.

I think if there's a chance, she's got a good a chance as any.

Not saying she's going to go, but like, I think she's going to throw it all at the wall.

That's really interesting.

I would love to see that.

Because she was right out there shaking that thing.

Oh, my God.

Them on the carpet.

Honestly, they kind of need it.

The thing is, like, and this is why it just only doesn't make sense that TikTok is the partner of it.

Like, I feel like the Met Gala goes out of their way to do everything, like, not corny, not

viral.

It's just sort of like elegant.

And TikTok is like so the opposite.

I feel like the vibes are so antithetic.

Is that the right word?

I think they'll find middle ground.

Oh, they must.

Yeah.

I'm looking forward.

That's fun.

I forgot that was coming up.

Now, I read a report this morning that Taylor and Travis are confirmed not going.

At the end of the day,

they're always wrong about who they say is and isn't going to go.

They really never know who's going.

I can't see a world in which she goes to an event Kim Kardashian's at, especially after this song.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think she's like, you can have your smelly party.

Yeah, I think she like gave that to her.

And it's just, it's so funny how now,

like, why do you want to put yourself in situations that you're just not going to be comfortable or happy?

Like, she doesn't need to do that.

It's for what?

To prove what?

I also think.

She doesn't gotta prove nothing.

I think Taylor's like literally too famous to go to the Metala.

Do you know what I mean?

No.

Like, if John Lennon was alive, would he be going to the Michela every year?

No.

I don't know him.

Like, I don't know what moves him.

I saw what motivates him.

I saw a picture

that I didn't realize till afterwards was doctored.

But

when I saw the picture, it was seriously.

I'm sure maybe some of you have seen it.

It's like this photo that's going around.

It's like AI of John and Yoko on the cover of a magazine, but like it literally didn't happen.

They're both naked and they're both just like turned around.

So we see their butts and they're they're like looking over.

And like

the person who doctored it

made

John Lennon's butt, not like fat, but like made his crack really, really long and deep and made Yoko Ono's.

Wait, I'm going to send it to you.

Made Yoko Ono's tiny.

John Lennon Yoko Ono butt crack.

You will die.

And then I googled it.

I'm like, there's no way this is real.

But it was a really well done.

AI is slick, man.

Oh, okay.

No, this is like where I love AI.

Do you know what I mean?

Like,

do you think that the person who put this into AI like said give them polar opposite cracks or?

Oh my God.

Do you not think it's funny?

It is.

Look how big his his crack is.

Okay, but do you think they said to AI, like give him a big crack and her a small crack?

Or like AI is just going off of like what they, how long they think they're cracking.

That's a good question.

No, I think this person like intentionally wanted to mess with me like for real.

And they did.

Like I thought of nothing but that picture.

I'll post it on my Instagram so you guys know what I'm talking about.

I'll post it on the toast Instagram actually.

You're gonna die.

You're gonna die.

It's AI.

It's not real.

Okay, but send it to someone you know.

Just like, it's so funny.

Okay, are you ready for our next story?

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Our next story, Meryl Strape reveals Nicole Kidman skinny dipped every morning filming big little eyes.

So Meryl presented an award.

Meryl presented an award to Nicole Kidman at the American Film Institute Life Achievement Award gala at the Dolby Theater in L.A.

on Saturday.

There were a lot of galas this weekend.

Alls to say.

Alls to say.

And I just feel like if you weren't like in a gala attire this weekend,

if you weren't at the park and you weren't shopping with Shannon and Taylor, like what were you doing?

Well, I just want to say I agree that everyone was at a gala.

I'm so glad they finally put together a gala to honor Nicole Kidman.

I feel like we've been saying for years that they should do that.

And it was, tell me how toast-coated it was that like on the step and repeat, who's the sponsor in the background?

Canva.

Canva.

Like for me, it was kind of like disassociating to see Canva like on this picture of Miles Teller.

I agree.

They got their fucking asses up and they got Canva Pro.

It's good to know like, yes, they stopped advertising on our show and it's because they saved their money and they put it towards something bigger.

And I love that.

Yeah.

And then we see it back.

And I hope they used Canva to make that step and repeat.

Otherwise, like, what are you doing?

Do you think the Canva logo was made on Canva?

Could they have made it if they didn't have Canva?

The thing is, I don't think it was.

It obviously is a billion-dollar company.

They hired, you know, some big fancy agency.

So is this.

But I think that it's like a literal, that would be like the best marketing thing ever if like this billion dollar company's logo was made on canva It's like the chicken and the egg like what came first Canva or the logo also canva logos are like so generic that you can look at somebody and you just know it was made on canva and like it's honestly not good why is that an insult?

It's not it's just like not good enough for a billion-dollar company, for real.

I feel like there are ways to make things on Canva where, if you're skilled and you're working hard enough, like, people might just think that's regular old Photoshop.

Wait, you know what's so crazy?

It's like, and that's the point.

But if you want to be lazy and use a lazy, basic template, not even search for a good template, she said, get your fucking stuff up on the panel.

And if you don't want to pay for Canva Pro and you do Canva Free, Jackie, please.

Well, you get what you pay for.

Calm down.

They haven't sponsored the show in a while.

Like, don't be plugging them so hard.

Also, it's fine.

Claude, Claude, I'm so authentic.

My passion and my zeal for canva i just closed out of a canva tab to start the show my pat they don't have to pay me this is how i feel about the brands that we work with also about canva is it's funny how like now it's a thing you put on your resume it's it was always like proficient in excel powerpoint and literally people put canva like it's literally like a skill now they invented a lot of history proficient in canva greater than proficient in powerpoint because not only am i doing the same thing or Photoshop, I'm doing the same thing and I have extra time.

What else do you need?

Right, no.

I'm right on top of that row.

I'm like, I don't need my computer.

Like, I don't need my work computer.

I can log into my account anywhere and all my work is saved.

This literally sounds like an ad for Canva.

Well, it's an ad for Nicole Kidman's Lifetime Achievement Award.

And apparently, when they filmed Big Little Eyes, she went into the Pacific Ocean every morning at 48 degrees, stark naked.

And she cold plunged.

She plunged.

She cold plunged in the Pacific.

That definitely makes it cooler as opposed to like a wooden tub in your backyard.

A thousand percent.

Also, I'm so glad that they honored Amanda.

Amanda, what's her name?

Amanda had a stroke.

Nicole Kidman.

Because it taught me something that I didn't know.

I was like, why is Miles Taylor there?

Like, love that him and Kelly left the house, but like, for what?

And he was cast in his first movie ever by Nicole Kidman.

She cast him

when he was super young.

I don't know.

I hadn't heard of it.

I'll tell you.

I'm watching American Pat Rabbit Hole in 2010 with you Gotta watch it.

Eight months after the accidental death of their four-year-old son, Howie, Nicole Kidman and her husband are trying to overcome their grief.

He wants to hold on to everything that reminds him of the kid when she would rather sell the home and make a fresh start.

Cracks begin to appear in their relationship as Howie bonds with a member of his therapy group, and Becca reaches out to a teenage boy with telling facial scars.

Oh, that's so funny that he got the role because he actually, in real life, has those scars.

That I imagine when he got them, he was like, oh, my career as an actor is over.

But it actually was the catalyst.

And maybe that's the message of the day.

That's a beautiful message.

It's actually also the message of the song, Thank You, Amy, off of TTPD.

It's like the thing that you thought was going to break you actually ended up being the catalyst for all the success in your life.

Agreed.

So shout out Nicole Kidman and everyone at the Nicole Kidman Awards.

American Film Institute

for their service.

Oh, and Nicole Kidman and Keith Thurban walk the carpet with their daughters.

Oh, cute.

Did you see?

No, No, I feel like I'm just sharing.

She really keeps her kids out of the spotlight because of Tommy Crazy Cruise.

Yeah, but these are her kids with Keith Urban.

No, no, I know, but like, I think that she's definitely scarred.

Her kids don't talk to her because they're shunned.

Like she's an SP, a shunned person in Scientology.

And it all played out so publicly that I actually don't think I've ever even seen a photo of their kids, which is like, I think a testament to their privacy.

But then they just walk the carpet together, so they want you to see.

And also, they're like, they're young girls.

They're teens.

Wow, I don't think I even like knew that.

young adults yeah me neither on my way to google nicole kidman kids

and then are you ready for our fifth and final story wait let me see these kids

kids oh there's the canvas young adults wait there's how many three

yeah they're literally gorgeous

oh wait they're like like the most beautiful girls ever they're gonna be stars

yeah no biggie oh and speaking of daughters who are gonna be stars somebody i saw and I'm sorry to who it was,

had a casting idea for the

ongoing Fiddler on the Roof project.

And

Adam Sandler's daughter, who was in that Bot Mitzvah movie, she's got to be one of the daughters.

She's gorgeous.

She was an amazing actress and she has a very Jewish look.

And she's the right age.

I'll allow it.

And actually, Josh Peck texted me and he said, there has been a

Fiddler on the Roof like revival

in the works quotes for years.

He's like, I don't think it's ever going to happen, but like it's been like somebody owns the project.

Well, I'm glad that he knows about it.

Hopefully, that means that he's in it because he is also right for the movie.

But that's what happens.

And they'll talk about that.

Like, Greatest Showman was in the works for 10 years before it finally got to happen.

Wicked,

never give up.

Yeah.

Wait, speaking of things that finally happened.

Wicked is just like taking a long time to happen, but it's happening.

Yeah, but they announced it on Twitter in 2013.

or maybe 2013 it's like that

wait also speaking of things that finally happened normani finally released music like the the full circle of normani's journey like to announcing her album like actually five years ago she released it and it's so crazy how like nobody moved

What is happening?

But there was a time when like people were choking.

Like they were like, give us Normani or give us death.

And it's so crazy to have squandered momentum like that.

It's like, it's literally a lesson in what what not to do

no a lesson in what not to do was the Instagram clear out and what is happening

what is happening

that is so funny I forgot about that

she's wearing Abercrombie

what is happening I honestly like I follow Jason Tardick on social media and I cannot watch his stuff anymore.

I need to mute him because it reminds me of that thing that I said.

Just mute him for a while until it goes away.

And every time he wears a shirt, I'm like, oh, that's a nice shirt.

I wonder if it's Abercrombie.

I'm really embarrassing.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yes.

It's actually some exciting, reboot-ish news.

Okay.

No, it's not terrible.

Mufasa, the Lion King trailer drops, a Disney prequel, is following a young Mufasa and Scar as blue Ivy Carter joins the voice cast.

Not the voice capital V, the show, but joins the cast of voices

for Lion King Mufasa.

Love that.

I mean, her mother was in the most recent,

who was she?

She was Nala, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Love.

So...

Also, I don't think I know what her voice sounds like.

This will explore the titular Lions origin story, depicting his childhood with his brother Scar, who becomes the main antagonist antagonist in The Lion King.

Aaron Pierre and Kelvin Harrison Jr.

will voice the younger versions of Mufasa and Scar, respectively.

James Earl Jones voiced Mufasa in 1994 and the 2019 remix.

Such a voice.

Speaking of remix, remakes.

That is a stellar one.

Completely agree.

Stellar.

That opening.

Oh my God.

I think

it chills.

I could watch it endlessly.

And I feel like when it came out, people were saying it was like a flaw.

People were like not excited about it.

I remember there being just like some hate.

Yeah, they were wrong for that.

Also, members of the 2019 voice cast are returning, including John Canney, who played Rafiki, Seth Rogan as Pumba, Billy Eichner as Timone, Donald Glover as Simba, and Beyonce as Nala.

And then Beyonce's daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, will play Kiara, who's the daughter of Simba, of King Simba and Queen Nala.

Wait, I'm sorry, is this a prequel or a sequel?

It sounds like both.

Because

Simba's kid?

Simba's kid, that's the future, but we're also learning about their upbringing.

That's the past.

What is the movie called?

It's called Mufasa.

Now, the line of the movie.

Pardon my ignorance.

Who's Mufasa again?

Mufasa Simba's dad.

Who, spoiler is?

The original king.

Yeah.

That's James Earl Jones, yeah.

Yeah.

And then it was also revealed, everyone, gird your loins, that Lin Man Moel Miranda is penning the film song.

Oh my God, I'm so glad you just brought that up because when I was talking to Josh Peck, He brought up Lin Mel Mo Miranda like in the conversation.

For Fiddler on the Roof.

And I said, Josh, please tell me Lynn Manuel Miranda is not involved in the project.

He said he doesn't think he is.

No, that's.

But it didn't even cross my mind because these days, like, who does musicals?

Who's the guy?

It's Lynn Manuel.

You know who needs to do

Pasig and Paul.

Yes, thank you.

He needs to do it.

Pasick and Paul for Fiddler on the Roof.

Pasick is Jewish.

I don't know about Paul, but yeah, we need like Zionist

composers.

Yeah.

Yeah, Pasik and Paul.

I'm telling you, if they left it up to us, like we could slay the house down boots.

No, and also like we can work with the suits, you know?

Like I understand we're not going to have it all our way.

And some of our artistic vision is going to be compromised because not everything can happen and we have budgets and timelines and we have to answer to people.

Scheduling.

But I feel like.

I would be really good at working with others to make this project come to life.

And we're proficient in Canva.

We are proficient in Canva.

So what more do we need?

Put that on your resume.

We should actually start a list of all of our ideas for Fiddler on the Roof remake.

In case you don't know what to do, that day ever does come to us.

And that way, also, if anyone comes to us, and also if they ever remake it, we could be like, oh, we thought this, but it was that.

Okay.

So, Passing and Paul.

Passing and Paul do the music.

Adam Sandler's daughter has to be like, That's, I think, one of our really good, good ones.

Okay, daughters.

We'll do a list of eligible daughters.

I know who should be the matchmaker.

Okay.

Alex Bornstein.

Miss Ungermeyer.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

She's got the part.

And she's like so Jewish.

I love that.

And then for Tevya, our choices were I had Sasha Baron Cohen, you had Leah Schreiber.

Oh, yeah.

I think my, my Leah Schreiber is like a really good one.

I also would put Adam Sandler down.

I would let him audition.

I would let him audition.

Honestly, I don't know if I can see him as anything other than Adam Sandler, like for real.

No, I could see him being like, if I were a rich man.

And the thing is, with Borat, like, I can't see him not making it like satire, and it's not a satirical role.

Actually, the movie is a little satirical.

He's like talking to the camera.

It's very jokey.

It's not a bad call, like, at all.

No, we'll add them all to the list.

Who else do we have for daughters?

Lee and Michelle.

Oh, we at Lee and Michelle.

I feel like we had some other really fire casting.

Oh, and then for men, we had Josh Peck.

We will not allow Ben Platt anywhere near our movie.

Like stay away, literally.

I also would like to see, I'm going to put this back on the list, like David Foster working with Pasican Paul.

Oh, I love, love, love that.

Oh, who's going to play like our

the Nazi guy who runs away with Hava?

Oh, who's our Nazi?

Well, he's a, uh, he is a Cosak,

but like

anyone.

Like, seriously.

Let me think, like, who's perfect for up Mark Ruffalo.

Glenn Powell.

Mark Ruffalo.

Stop.

No, he's not coming anywhere near this movie.

It still has to be someone that we like.

Glenn Powell.

Yeah, by the way, Glenn Powell is a perfect casting.

There can only be one non-Jew in the movie, and it's Glenn Powell.

I agree.

And he gives allyship energy.

Yeah, you know it's going to hurt him to do what he has to do.

Right, I was going to say, there's only one non-Jew in the movie, right?

I mean, he has to

have friends.

Yeah, yeah, his friends, but also the judge who's like the head.

No, that's Mark Ruffalo.

The guy on the horse, he does look like Mark Ruffalo.

No, because the guy, he does look like Mark Ruffalo, but the guy on the horse, like, he had to carry out the anti-Semitic rulings, but you could tell he was a coward, but in his heart, he didn't think it was right.

Yeah, no, he wasn't like as bad as you could be.

Of course, like, he could have stood up for,

but then they just would have brought in someone worse.

He was a cog.

He was a cog.

Yeah, that guy.

Laser Wolf.

Oh, okay.

Wait.

We need someone like a James Gandalfini energy.

Yeah.

Laser wolf.

Wait.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, I have laser wolf.

Josh Gad.

Oh, that's good.

No, Jackie, that's not good.

That's amazing.

That's really amazing.

First of all, he sings, he's Jewish, and he looks like Laser Wolf.

Yep, yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Claudia, Claudia, Adina Menzel,

or Jack Black.

Okay, wait.

For Tevia.

Jack Black for Tevia.

Jack Black for Tevia.

He sings.

He's Jewish.

And wait, I just had an amazing call.

Adina Menzel for Golda.

Okay.

She's Jewish?

Yes.

Adele Dazim?

Adele Dazim.

Okay.

Oh, I feel like we could also get Selma Blair in the project.

She's a proud Jewish queen.

Just put her name.

I don't know what for.

Like village person?

Yeah.

Like.

Someone.

Okay, I'll just add her to miscellaneous.

I actually feel like we have something really, really good here.

Like,

I don't know if you can, like, sell an idea like this, but, like, somebody should pay for it.

Or they could just steal it because it's like, we were saying it on the podcast.

Yeah, honestly, like, I want to see it get made, so I'll give it away.

Yeah.

Oh, you know who else would be a good

Tevia?

Who?

Jon Favreau.

Is he Jewish?

No.

He's on this list of actors that are Jewish.

Okay, wait.

Also, Jeff Garland somewhere.

But I actually, I don't think there's a role for a Jeff Garland.

I don't don't think so either.

He's not someone that's like a period piece.

No, like he could only exist this year.

Except, you know what's technically a period piece?

The Goldbergs.

So true, actually.

So true.

We could take from the Goldbergs, too, even though I feel like a lot of those people aren't even Jewish.

Yeah.

No, we're good.

We're good.

It's in a really good spot.

I feel like things are really shaping up nicely.

I'm excited.

Me too.

Can't wait to watch it.

Same.

And those are the fast five stories.

So, yeah, Mufasa, Lion King, Origin story.

I love that.

I love the Lion King.

Like, I think it's great.

The music's great.

I would love more.

Give me more.

Gimme, give me more.

Okay.

She's sassy today.

Give me more.

I so enjoyed getting to spend this time with you.

Me as well.

And I hope everybody has an amazing day.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

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We'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.