Home Run Turdy: Tuesday, October 24th, 2023

1h 3m
  1. Kim Kardashian is launching a Skims shapewear line for men (NY Post) (25:57)
  2. Travis Kelce's dad, Ed, praises 'very sweet' Taylor Swift for picking up trash in suite (Page Six) (36:24)
  3. Tom Brady and Irina Shayk's Relationship 'Fizzled' (PEOPLE) (44:18)
  4. Elon Musk says he will pay Wikipedia $1 BILLION to change its name to 'D***pedia' (Daily Mail) (51:14)
  5. John Stamos's Addiction Struggles, Hollywood Romances and More (PEOPLE) (58:24)


The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) 

The Camper and The Counselor by Jackie Oshry

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The Toast Patreon

Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry

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Transcript

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Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Tuesday.

Hope everybody's having a great day.

I'm joined by my co-host who is stealing my Luke.

Or are you stealing my Luke?

We're wearing the same Luke Luke combs.

Different sweaters, but similar enough that I think will look really nice on the YouTube today.

Maybe you should mosey on over to see these gorgeous girls.

Let me tell you the funniest thing that happened to me.

I've been up since the crack of dawn.

I am, today is the day the movers come pack and load the truck.

Tomorrow they deliver everything to the new place.

And so I've just been up, you know, doing a million things.

I did start a moving vlog.

While I said I wouldn't do a

home tour, I will do a moving vlog so you can see like a, a lot of people ask for an empty apartment tour of my old place.

Yeah, that's fine.

Sure.

And then you'll see like a sneak peek of the new place, just a little bit.

I like everybody was so res, everybody was so respectful.

I'm like, wait, you don't want it?

That's all you had to do.

I was posting on Instagram about my move and how the movers were there.

And so I was like, I was hyping up the moving company that I use, which is Roadway.

You use them.

And I was like, they're so fab.

Jackie used them to move to Florida.

Somebody DMed to me.

She was like, wait, Jackie lives in Florida?

How does she do the toast?

We are killing it with our YouTube setup.

With our YouTube setup, but maybe they're just a podcast listener and nothing's changed for them.

Right.

We've got the sure premium microphones.

We've got the Roadcaster.

We could be anywhere in the world, La.

We should be anywhere in the world.

If you could...

be anywhere in the world, La, where would you be?

At this very moment.

Yeah.

In my new apartment with everything unpacked and all my furniture delivered.

Like the journey I have ahead of me is very daunting and overwhelming.

So if I could just be at the end of it,

you're a few days away from your dream.

That's really not bad.

Some people are years away.

If that.

That was me.

That was you.

I'm just saying dreams in general.

Yeah.

And especially for Californians because they're the elk of dreamers.

Yeah, that's so true.

They could wait a lifetime.

For a dream like this.

Yeah.

So sure.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

Yeah.

Californians don't stop dreaming.

Don't stop dreaming.

So that's like just a little bit about me.

Crazy moving girl, new apartment.

Yeah.

She's just crazy for change, that lottery.

That lottery is so crazy for change.

My book club met last night.

I want to hear all about it because you guys read The Measure, which was a Redheads book club book.

We read it back in March.

I really liked it.

I thought it was a great book for a book club.

So I know you didn't like it, but how did the book club discussion go?

Mixed reviews all around.

I would say three out of five didn't like it.

Two out of, well, we were missing two members.

So three out of five liked it.

Two out of five didn't.

We're usually a group of seven.

It did spark interesting conversation.

I did listen to the Redheads episode before so I could have like some fire talking points, you know?

I was hoping nobody else listened to it because then they would know I was like regurgitating other people's brilliant ideas.

And I don't think anyone did, thank God.

It was a great book club.

We ate, I always eat so good at book club.

That's why we call ourselves the Bala Busta Book Club because because we get a homemade meal every time.

And last night was no different.

We had bolognese.

I saw a story.

We had a roast chicken with rice.

He made three entrees.

It was so saw.

And then my friend Rachel made her famous chocolate chip biscotti cookies.

Like, I left with gas.

That's good.

But I want to hear more about the book and the discussion.

So

the general consensus of the book was like...

None of the characters were interesting.

Agreed.

We didn't like any of the characters.

The one we all agreed that we liked best was Ben.

I was going to say Ben, yeah.

But even then, like, he wasn't great or compelling.

So we didn't like the characters.

We did argue over fate versus free will.

But the general consensus that we came to is that it really felt like the writer was trying to say something.

It felt like she was trying to get away from her.

She had an agenda.

No, not an agenda.

She was trying to make a statement about something.

And we literally couldn't figure out what it was.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

To me, and this wasn't for everyone.

It's certainly not what the writer had intended because she literally wrote it before kind of the COVID madness.

But for me, Dana and Snitch, like it was the book on COVID.

It was about the vaccines.

It was so analogous.

Like I couldn't see it any other way, even though she literally explicitly said, that's not what this is.

I didn't see it that way.

I brought that up.

Nobody else saw it that way.

Nobody saw it that way.

Wow.

No, a lot of people like thought of COVID,

but they didn't think of like the short stringers and the long stringers as people who got vaccinated and people who didn't.

I think maybe it was a statement like on discrimination.

Yeah, I think so.

But I don't feel like it was a very well,

like it wasn't clear what her message was from the book.

I think it was about like discrimination, marginalized people, the treatment of people.

Okay.

Unfortunately, that thing really didn't come through for me.

Yeah, I understand that.

I just, when I finished the book, I was like, what is the point?

Why did it, like, what was the point of this book?

Well, it definitely made certain things.

It wasn't entertaining.

Okay.

I really didn't like it.

I'm, I'm sorry to hear that.

I did like it.

I really did.

And I think about it all the time, like since, because I'm just like always thinking about the string.

Not always thinking about it, but so many things bring me back to the string concept.

No, I haven't thought about it since.

We did agree that it was like a good book club book.

It sparked, you know, interesting conversation.

And we're just really struggling.

Like we have not had a book since the Rose Code that everybody liked or even like

most people liked.

We're in a rut.

And for our next book, everyone in my book club is Jewish.

And we were thinking of doing a book on Israel just so we can like, you know, learn.

But we all agreed, like, that's a little boring.

Like,

yeah.

You could do something that's like adjacent to Israel, like, you know, why there's a need for Israel sort of thing, like about people emigrating.

But also, you guys probably know a lot more than the average reader because you've like grown up with it.

Yeah.

So we haven't picked a book for next month, but it was was a great meeting of the crew.

And by the way, we've had three babies born in our book club.

Wow.

Sorry, two, excuse me.

But the next book club, Marga will most likely miss because she's due any day now.

So we're just kind of like a really family, we're like a traditional

book club.

Well, we would know it by the name.

I do feel like the name sums it up.

Kind of gives it away.

You're just like childbearing, eating, cooking, women.

Yeah.

No, no.

We literally are in the 50s.

We should should have read, even though every read in the book clubs already read it, but as a group, we should have read Lessons in Chemistry because like that book was for us.

I'm obsessed with Lessons in Chemistry.

I haven't watched it yet.

I got the PR package from HBO and it was really, really cute, except I wasn't.

HBO, it's on Apple.

Sorry, sorry.

To the PR company.

Yeah, it was Apple.

It came while I was in New York, so it didn't really work out, but they sent a lasagna boullionnese in like this LL bean cooler bag.

Was a kosher?

No, and it was rotten by the time I got home.

Yeah.

I couldn't have eaten it anyway, but it was a cute idea.

And it was a cool, it's this huge cooler bag.

It's the coolest bag.

It says supper at six.

And they came with like a notebook for your recipes, some like

alcohol-free wines.

It was so cute.

That is cute.

I'm just like obsessed with lessons in chemistry.

And I just don't want to watch it because like it's something I'll always have to look forward to.

We talked about it at book club because a lot of people were annoyed that it's being released like one episode at a time.

So some people had started it, some people had not.

I think everyone in the book club has read the book.

But we were talking how we didn't think it was like an amazing casting for Brie Larson.

She's never going to be my go-to.

You know what I mean?

But she's a solid citizen.

Like for me, it would have been like January Jones, you know, because that's.

Oh my God, it would have been January Jones.

She's someone like you can get really excited about.

Like I personally don't get like so excited about Brie Larson, but she's just like a great solid actress and she'll be very good.

Yeah.

You just reminded me that when about PR packages, I don't know how to do this in any other way.

And I just feel like a lot of the girlies who work for like brands and PR companies listen to the toast.

I'm moving.

So if you have an address on file for me, like don't send stuff there anymore.

Like if you need my new address, we'll get it to you, but just don't send any more boxes, please.

I don't know how else to get that message.

People like post that on their Instagram stories, influencers, I've seen.

Yeah, I just feel like that's not going to hone in for people.

Like, I think the toast is really kind of transformative in that way.

I think that's great.

I hope that all your boxes get where they need to go.

Oh, God, me too.

Which eventually is in the garbage because you're the sweeper.

I am the sweeper.

I swept literally update from yesterday with the closet organizers and the decluttering girlies.

Ben did an amazing job.

We literally, I own half of my earthly possessions now than I did yesterday.

I feel so light.

And then when the movers came, like there's one million boxes and they like are just getting started.

I really, I have so much crap.

Yeah, there's a lot of boxes, but that's also because they, you know, pack sparsely and they give space for everything.

They make space.

Yeah.

Don't like sometimes you see so many boxes, but there's not like so much in them.

Yeah.

So it's true.

It's okay.

Okay.

They like to make space and leave space for everyone.

They create like to make space.

Yeah.

So that's my moving update.

Vlog is in process and it's a very exciting week for me.

How's everything going with you, Jax, mother of two, back at work full time?

Things are going well.

Being back at work, very exciting.

um speaking of vlogs i actually just posted a vlog this weekend that people are kind of loving it was like my book launch week vlog and it started out like really really exciting so much excitement and then just like little by little chipping away at that until you know the excitement completely petered out after october 7th um but it was a journey and i do like a really big try on haul of like all these authorial looks a little postpartum conversation about how i'm feeling where i'm at what size jeans i'm wearing um brave Brave.

Brave, yeah.

Just because I don't know.

I was just like feeling like chatting to you.

You were feeling brave.

No, I don't even feel like it was brave.

Okay.

I just feel like it was real.

Real.

Real.

And there's another vlog on the Patreon.

We both did vlogs.

We actually, it's going to be a vlog heavy month, but that's just because there's so many exciting things happening in our lives this month.

I had a vlog right before that, Trigon Close for LA, which was traumatizing.

So lots of try-ons, lots of girly, swirly action on the Patreon.

Yeah, the people love the try-ons.

It's the worst, like for the person filming it, there's no worse experience.

For the people watching it, there's no greater experience.

So we do it for you.

And then we have some other episodes brewing this month I'm really excited about.

And that's really exciting.

I can't believe October is almost coming to a close.

It's zoomed by.

Zoomed by in a flash.

I'm looking forward to the end of year because it's the best time of year.

I have a new apartment apartment where I can see the snow by Christmas, but it is making me sad.

Like my year of yes, wasn't that yesterday?

It was yesterday.

I'm almost one year into saying yes.

And then next year, what will you say?

No.

Really?

No, I don't know.

I have enjoyed, by the way, saying yes to life.

I would recommend it.

Hmm.

So you'll say yes again next year, no?

I'll have to reevaluate where I'm at at New Year's, you know?

Yeah.

Make some

blanket statements.

Resolutions.

Yeah.

Well, it's very exciting.

The holidays are coming up.

So festive.

The greatest time of year

and it's here.

Help me celebrate it.

Joy to the world and everyone lift up your

lights.

There's a favorite.

That's like an underrated holiday bop.

Like everybody knows Kelly Clarkson, but what about Allie and HD?

Honestly, they know it.

It's there.

It's rated.

I feel like people give it the props it deserves.

I mean, it's that time of year again where we're non-stop going to be talking about Kelly Clarkson's album.

Christmas Spectacular.

It's so good.

I can't wait to like go home.

I wonder what Kelly has up her sleeve this year for holiday.

She always does something.

Remember last year was the big NBC special with all those guests, Ariana Grande.

Yes.

And she put out another holiday album.

I don't know if it was last year or the year before.

Also, hopefully she's got some big plans on her Patreon.

She bet.

Kelly needs a Patreon.

I would sign up in a second.

I just like want her to cook for me.

Yeah, and she has like, she's very homey because she has that, you know, Wayfair furniture line.

She has, you know, the kids, the Christmas songs.

She's kind of like a Martha Stewart in the main.

Children's book.

Right.

Yeah.

It's time.

Kelly, patreon.com slash KellyClarkson.

After patreon.com slash the toast.

After.

After.

How are the stories today?

They're good.

Brittany is taking over the news.

I don't think we're talking about her today, but her book did come out today.

So there's just like a million stories, bombshells from the book.

I am going to read it.

I started the new Sophie Kinsella book, which I'm just like not really loving right now.

And I read a really similar book last year.

So I'm like kind of regretting having started it, but I love Sophie Kinsella.

She's my favorite author.

So I'm going to push through.

Then I have to read the Redheads book, which...

First Thursday of November, reading The Dead Romantics.

Read along with us.

It's like spooky season.

Who picked it?

Rebecca.

I never heard of it.

It's like a new book.

It's a comedy, like a rom-com, but also a bit spooky.

Perfect for Halloween.

And then I will read Britney's book.

So I'm a little backed up.

I suggested to the book club that maybe we try a memoir since we're just kind of like striking out with every select.

And nobody was into the idea.

That was brutally rebuffed.

I would read...

Britney's book for the Redheads, but I know Dana's the next pick and she's not going to pick that.

Definitely not.

I wouldn't even want her to because she always pick, like leads us into interesting territory.

Yeah, yeah.

And her end of year book, her December pick is always like the best book of the year.

Bang out.

We had Addie LaRue, Midnight Library, Horse.

Midnight Library was one of the worst books.

What?

You're crazy.

I couldn't even finish it.

It was horrible.

It was so short.

My God, so fucking depressing.

It was a little depressing, but it makes you think.

I've just had enough with thinking.

I know, I feel that way.

So I'm like, I'm going to read a mindless book.

And now I'm reading a mindless book.

And and I'm like, well, this is a waste of my time.

Okay.

That's so real.

I literally flip-flop between World War II books and pornography.

And every time I'm reading pornography, I'm like, this is such a waste of my intellect.

And every time I'm reading World War II, I'm like, my God, this is fucking depressing.

Yeah.

Like, I just want to keep it light and bright.

So true.

It's so hard to be such an avid reader and an intellect.

Yeah.

It's, and it's just hard to find like books that like walk the middle line that are like entertaining and also good quality reads.

Also, I think the more that I read, like the higher my bar.

Of course.

I feel like last year I probably had like 10 or 15 five-star books.

This year, I might have two.

But that's also because when you were a new reader, everyone recommended the five-star books to you and you read them all first.

And now you're like going through the fours and the three stars.

Oh my God, that's so real.

Like we all read Luckiest Girl Alive, Crawdad's, Evelyn Hugo

first, and everything else just kind of like pills in comparison.

It's so true.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I'm, I just want everyone at Goodreads to know, like, I am on to you.

I am on to you and your fraudulent ways.

I think good,

I need to look into like who owns Goodreads.

Amazon.

No, I'm telling you.

Jeff.

A publishing house has to own it.

And they're hyping up their books that staying.

Like, do you know how many like Goodreads famous books I've read that are some of the biggest piles of shit i've ever read in my life well that's just like book world

no i'm telling you goodreads is like a industry plant oh my gosh don't say that i love goodreads and i use it in a i engage with it in a very genuine and authentic way i'm on it right by the way i was literally on it this morning All of their users do.

Like the users aren't the problem.

I'm telling you.

Like people go to Goodreads with the purest of hearts.

It's the people at the top that are starting stuff.

No, and Goodreads does have a gap in their product in terms of book recommendations.

Like

I say I like, they're always like recommending like to kill a mockingbird.

It's like, that's just not what I want to read.

And like when you go to like lists, like, okay, so I have my favorite genres here.

Let's click historical fiction.

It is like the oldest list of books from like the last 20 years.

Like, where's the fresh ones?

No, and on Amazon, when you go to a movie, one of my favorite things to do is like, if I'm in the mood to watch something like Nancy Myers-ish, I'll go to like the holiday and go to customers also watched.

And that algorithm is amazing.

Every time I look, I find what I'm looking for.

Goodreads needs that.

For sure.

You can find it on Amazon.

The thing is, Turdy, not to chew our own horns, but like we actually really

influence that section.

Like when you go to any of the books that we love, if you went to like Customers Also Red, it's like all the other books that we love.

I know.

It's like a circle jerk of the same books.

Because we started the jerk.

We did.

Like our influence is just like too vast.

I'm seriously like not even kidding.

Like if you wanted to read something similar to Evelyn Hugo or Luckiest Girl Alive would come up.

Yeah, like it's all the book.

Well, Evelyn Hugo everyone loves, but I'm just saying like even some of the random books we like, then it's just all the other books that we've recommended.

No, we're too powerful for our own good.

And it's like, who recommends to us?

That's what I'm saying.

Where do I get my recommendations?

I get them from

the Redheads, like community listeners.

I get them from Dana too.

She reads a lot and she'll tell me like something that she thinks I would like.

I get my recommendations from you.

Having said that, I think now that I'm like more of an avid reader and I have my particular likes and interests, I don't think your recommendations serve me anymore.

Like I think we have really different styles.

Yes.

But I feel like I don't recommend that much to you because I think a lot of what I read, like I know you wouldn't like.

Right.

So I'm kind of out of recommendations for you.

Yeah, I don't know where to go for recommendations.

Book recommendations are really hard.

I feel like there are so many places for TV recommendations, but not books.

Because it means someone has to sit and read it.

And that's why people join.

That's also why people like, you know, do follow Reese's book club or Oprah.

Yeah.

But

it's kind of hit or miss over there.

But it's also just personal.

Yeah.

And it's just like, sometimes it's not the vibe.

Sorry.

Right.

For one person, but another, another person's favorite book can be someone's like literal like zero star piece of shit.

Yeah.

That's right.

Yeah.

You have to follow book clubs.

Even like Emma Roberts has her book club and we've overlapped a lot.

And I've read like some of the books that she recommends like per chance, but she's a little sometimes not my vibe.

I can't explain what the vibe is, but it's not mine sometimes.

The vibe is personal.

That's why you have to create your own book club.

But even I created my own book club and like we're in our flop era.

Yeah.

That's but anyways, that's what I'm saying.

Like that is an app that needs to be made where it's like a better generator for recommendations and like community

shared interests.

No, and they're not, you know, pushing product from publishing houses that they own.

I will look who owns Goodreads because I know you can connect your Amazon.

I don't think Amazon owns it.

I'm telling you, Pengman Random House, like some big publishing company.

I'm onto something.

Goodreads is an American social cataloging website and a subsidiary of Amazon that allows individuals to search its database of books.

What publishing house does Amazon own?

Oh, that's a

what publishing house?

Guys, I'm telling you, I'm like, I know I'm onto something.

They probably own a lot.

They have Amazon publishing.

Yeah, and like Kindle Unlimited.

Like, they have a lot of Kindle exclusive authors.

Does Amazon have a publishing house?

No, not.

Johnny, they're hiding it.

Why, the Penguin Random House merger is also also about Amazon.

I literally told you.

The U.S.

wants to stop Penguin Random House from buying Simon Schuster.

The elephant in the room is Amazon.

This is giving younger.

Totally.

Like, whatever it is, I know it's buried in paperwork and shell companies.

Penguin Random House owns Goodreads.

You heard it here first.

Goodreads.

Shut up.

I hate you.

Should we dive in?

Yeah, might as well dive into the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, Claude.

You're welcome.

Our first story: Kim Kardashian is launching skims for men.

She dropped the ad campaign yesterday featuring athletes like Brazilian soccer star Neymar DeSilvra Santos Jr., NBA star shy Gilgias Alexander of the Oklahoma City Thunder, and NFL defensive end Nick Bosa of the San Francisco 49ers Bang Banglou.

I saw this like and I gasped.

I was obsessed.

I love Nick Bosa.

Not enough people talk about him.

He's literally the hottest man alive.

I didn't know him and I'm like part of Bang Bang Niners gang.

I really only know him because of his thighs.

Like have you seen the thighs?

They were actually talking about his thighs on the broadcast last night.

You know him from his thigh before he was in his undies?

Yes.

Where did you see his thigh?

Like anytime they're on TV, Jackie, they're the biggest things.

Just Google Nick Bosa thighs.

I'm not going to.

You're going to be shook.

I'm going to just Google Nick Bosa and see if his thighs stand out to me.

Okay, because it's giving, you know,

Tessa Bailey novel.

Okay, I'm on my way.

Images.

They're like enormous.

Yeah.

But like, don't all really all football players have like big thighs?

Yes, his are, I believe, to be extraordinary.

I can't with you.

We were talking on the phone yesterday.

Is this man single?

And if

so, is he dating Kim?

I mean, I have to imagine if Kim was on set, they definitely went for dinner.

Like, I'm sorry, you just can't be around someone that hot.

Yeah.

Oh, wait.

It looks like he had a girlfriend.

When was this?

In 2021.

We're safe.

Yeah.

It's like if they're not engaged by now, like, they're definitely probably not together.

I love that Skims launched for men.

I think that's really, really smart.

I like that she got creative.

You know, Skims is an international brand, so I don't know this Brazilian footballer, but I'm sure he's like a huge deal.

Well, the name Neymar is a big name in football, but then there was a junior.

So I'm wondering if this is like the son of a, of the big Neymar or if this is Neymar himself.

The son of a preacher man.

The son of a big Neymar.

Literally.

I wish she did like a few more people.

Yeah.

Three isn't enough.

We were also saying that who she needed to have in this campaign was David Beckham.

Now, I'm sure the campaign was shot before Beckham Mania, but Skims is really good about turning around like people who get famous.

Remember when they did the two girls from White Lotus, like the day they got famous?

They're really good about turning shit around.

I would have loved it.

And David is friends with Kim, and Victoria's friends with Kim.

And she was just at the show sitting next to David.

Yeah.

Like theorizing her men's drop, knowing he has a documentary coming out.

It was honestly a little bit of a missed opportunity.

Plus, it would bring in an older generation of men.

But do you think that him doing a shoot for like another company is like a conflict of interest?

His wife, like she makes clothes for women.

Yeah, I guess, I guess, I guess.

But he might like, you know, have already an underwear sponsorship.

For sure, by the way, for sure.

I'm sure she's actually pretty limited in who wasn't contractually tied to another underwear company like Calvin Klein.

Or even like Nike.

Yeah.

You probably couldn't do also skims because it's not just undies, it's shirts, it's apparel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's actually a really good point.

She kind of had to go with these untethered people.

Also, it looks like Neymar is the Neymar.

He's the Neymar.

The Neymar.

So that's a big deal in the soccer world.

I loved this.

I also, I did watch a 49ers game last night, and I have some harsh thoughts for one Brock Turdy.

Brock Perdaloo?

Jack, he stunk it up.

Like he lost the game for everyone.

He threw two interceptions.

Like they had that fighting chance at the end.

Then he threw this interception.

And you know what?

They still had a chance.

Literally 20 seconds left.

They could have made a touchdown if they wanted to.

But you're saying they didn't didn't want to.

Interception, Brock.

So here's.

It wasn't even close.

It wasn't even close.

It was almost like maybe he needs glasses because the guy Huey threw it to like wasn't even close to one of his actual teammates.

Maybe he thought that guy was on his team.

So here's what I think.

It's different with a quarterback because they really are responsible for how the game plays out.

But like, if one person is responsible for like you winning or losing, like, what about the rest of the team?

Agreed.

Like when David Beckham, when they didn't win that World Cup because like David was out of the game, it's like, well, what about the rest of the team?

Like, where's the accountability for you guys?

You can't win a game without this one player, and we're all going to be mad at the one player who's been apparently winning every game for you.

Yeah, quarterback's a little different, but I do agree with you wholeheartedly.

And I will say, the San Francisco's 49ers' defense was not defending in the way that they needed to.

They weren't defense.

No.

Damn.

So it's just an off night.

And I don't think it's right to blame it all on Rock Turtle.

But I hear what you're saying.

He wasn't playing beautiful football.

Because we keep saying for the Super Bowl, like, it's going to be either the Chiefs, Eagles, or the 49ers.

And they were all 5-1 last week.

So they're even.

The Eagles, as of this week, are 6-1.

The Chiefs are 6-1.

And now the 49ers are 5-2.

Okay, I understand your disappointment, Derdeeve, but they're allowed to like have one bad game.

It's two in a row.

And as long as it's not, I was just watching the Kelsey documentary and the Eagles had like a bad couple games right before they made the Super Bowl too.

So it's like, it's going to be okay.

Maybe it's good to work these things out now, make the mistakes now.

I just, I want more for my friends on the team.

I don't know if I've mentioned, like, I'm actually really friendly with a lot of the players.

Like, we're kind of like lifelong friends, me and Kyle and George.

And like, I just, I want more for them.

It hurts because you're an empath.

It hurts.

That's the thing.

It's hard to be a football fan when you're so deeply empathetic.

Yeah.

To both teams, to players on both teams.

No, and I know how hard my friends, Kyle and George, I know how hard they work, you know, year round.

And I just, I want, I want them to succeed because that's the type of person I am.

Like, I lift others up.

Who did they play last night?

Like, some losery-ass team.

Sorry, no offense.

The Ravens.

Oh, yeah.

Wait, no.

Sorry.

I got the colors.

They're both purple.

Vikings.

They're actually not a losery ass team.

They're fine, but like their record was like two and five.

So like they are stinkers and, you know, relative to the, to the, to the league.

Yeah.

It should have have been an easy game.

A team that's five and one is playing a team that's one and five.

Like, where's the logic?

Yeah, maybe there's greatness on that team.

That was another thought I had when I was watching Beckham when like he went to Real Madrid and every great player in the world is on Real Madrid.

And then they start like losing or they and they lost their first game.

And it's like, well, I want to watch a documentary about that other team because it looks like there's greatness over there.

Big week for them.

Yeah, like, or no, maybe they're just an incredible team.

It's like Majorca.

They just like always beated them.

And I'm like, maybe I should be watching a documentary about Mallorca.

They always beated them.

They always beated them.

I love sports.

Like, I can't believe I wasted so much of my life not being interested in it.

I kind of want to go to the Jets game this Sunday

because I'm obsessed.

And I love the Jets.

Like, that's my team.

That is.

So that's where you've landed?

That's where I've landed.

Well, I have many teams.

Let's not forget.

49ers, like, but I'm for my home team.

People are always like, Giants, Jets.

It's the Jets.

Yeah, I feel that.

I don't feel simpatico with the Giants.

I don't know them.

Me neither.

I think it was because our dad was a Jets fan.

Yeah.

Our dad was also a Mets fan.

That's tougher.

Yeah, because like when it comes to Mets and Yankees, like the Yankees are just fabulous.

They're like the richest team in the MLB.

They're so historic.

You know, they were on Seinfeld.

George Costanza worked for them.

Like they're so New York.

No, and it's like we have two New York teams.

One is incredibly good and one is incredibly bad.

Why would you electively root for the bad team?

By the way, that's like not the case anymore.

That was the case when we were growing up.

But the Mets.

I feel like that's more so the case than ever.

The Yankees are always like World Series adjacent.

Even if they don't make it to the series, they're...

No, Jackie, that was literally when we were in middle school.

That was like

two years ago.

No, no.

No.

The Mets aren't.

The Mets and World Series haven't been uttered in the same sense.

No, no, but the Mets have Pete Alonzo.

And Mike Piazza.

And Matt Harvey, I think.

No, he's down and out.

I don't think he works anymore.

Jealous.

So

Nick Bosa and his undies.

Oh, that's what I was saying.

I just love sports.

Like, I need to get more.

And Ben's like, now Ben is really excited because he comes home and like I'm watching football.

And Ben doesn't love football.

He's really into basketball.

He's like, the Knicks start next week.

And I'm just like, I kind of don't care.

Basketball doesn't do it for me.

No, basketball is, it's not as relaxing as football.

It's kind of frantic.

No, the most frantic is hockey.

Like, how in the fuck are we supposed to see that puck?

It's tiny and it moves so fast.

And also the

field is smaller than like a football field and they go faster on their skates.

So it's like we're just shuffling up and down the field.

It's also very violent.

Yeah.

It's dangerous.

It's dangerous.

I like, I don't mind hockey though.

I actually like hockey.

Yeah, I like it too because you get to wear like a nice chunky sweater if you go to a game.

It's like cold.

Yeah, where it's like a basketball game, like you're rubbing up against people, sweating your titties off.

Yeah.

Something to think about.

Yeah.

So Skim's men.

Check it out for your mans.

Looking forward to seeing other models in future drops.

Yeah, I thought this was smart and I want more.

Agreed.

Speaking of sports.

I think they need Ben's offer celebrity.

If they could get him.

If he's not already contractually obligated to Gilden.

Those are the types of underwears he wears.

From Amazon.

Well, because Ben was buying Calvin Klein underwear and it's literally a pack of three for $33.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I'm sorry.

Are you the Queen of England?

Why do you need such expensive underwear?

And he's like, because they're so good.

Like the band is really tight and it like holds me in.

I'm like, let me just try.

And I literally ordered the first one I saw off of Amazon, a pack of like $100 for $3.

He's obsessed.

Obsessed.

You should get in Skim's Men because they're a sponsor.

So reach out.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'll try.

I'll try.

I'll see if he likes it.

Yeah.

I'm sure they're delicious.

Like when Ben was wearing more expensive underwear than me, I was like, there's a problem here.

Agreed.

Thank you.

Our next story, some more sports news.

Travis Kelsey's dad, Ed, is praising very sweet Taylor Swift for picking up trash in the suite.

He said she's not a diva.

So Taylor Swift just got the seal of approval from Ed Kelsey, her boyfriend's dad.

Ed had nothing but praise to

for the singer after meeting her for the first time at the October 12th Kansas City Chiefs game.

Talking to People magazine on Monday, he described Swift as a very, very sweet, very charming, down-to-earth young woman.

He also noted that Swift's intelligence comes through right away.

He said that

he recalled a very special moment when he realized Swift was a very genuine person rather than a diva.

He said, quote, we're sitting in the suite.

She gets up and in the front of the room, she gets up to go get a drink or something and she starts picking up empty bottles, cans, plates that are scattered around because in the suites, everybody gets stuff and you empty it down wherever you can.

And I'm just thinking, I don't think she got the D.Va memo.

She didn't get the spoiled musician.

She doesn't know how to pull that off.

And that, to me, really said a whole lot.

There's just something so interesting here that, like, if one of Taylor's boyfriends in the past...

Had their dad do a people magazine interview.

I'd be like, what the fuck?

Somebody with the Kelseys is so precious.

Like, they're really just like this down-home family.

They're not thirsty because they get attention very naturally.

Like, they don't need to be thirsty.

So I could see a world in which a story like this in another scenario, like, would have rubbed me the wrong way, even though he's saying nice things, but something about it is so precious.

I think also the anecdote that he's sharing, like if he just spoke to People Magazine to like get his name out there and say like, oh, she's nice.

It was a fun day.

Like, okay, like.

Get his name out there.

Yeah.

I would be like, okay, sit down.

But he's sharing these behind the scenes tidbits that show Taylor in such a favorable light, but also speak to like.

future daughter-in-law dynamics.

Like when you meet your in-laws, like, yeah, you better start picking up the garbage around.

like you that

yeah you put the dishes in the sink you you know you dry off the dishes like that's something that you do and i feel as though him sharing this with all of us it's something we can all relate to of like yeah get to work like you're trying to impress the rents

get to work yeah no it's so relatable in so many ways And I don't know, like the more we learn, the more convinced, like Heather McDonald said on the show toast, like she thinks they're going to get married.

And I thought it was so crazy, but like, honestly,

yeah.

i went from not believing that these two had ever met to okay acknowledging that they're like hooking up and it's like a fun fresh fling to fully believing like they're getting married

i'm on my way there as well honestly and i said that that would not be the case but i feel like they like each other so much i think their lifestyles really complement each other yeah And they say like if you have to date an athlete scheduling wise,

it's best to date a footballer because their season's the shortest.

Yeah, and they have one game a week.

I think the worst is baseball.

Yeah.

That's what I've heard.

They have one game a week, right?

Like Travis is out and about with her up until like Friday.

And baseball, they have like seven games in one city.

Yeah, like it's insane.

I just learned about that.

Yeah, I know.

Every baseball game is a series.

Yeah, I told you that on the channel.

I know.

I'm still wrapping my head around it.

Yeah, no, it's dumb.

So the Subway series growing up, I thought it was a World Series between the both New York teams.

No, and it happens every year, and it's seven games, the Yankees versus the Mets.

Moronic.

Moronic!

Like, who's coming up with these ideas?

Not us.

As if a baseball game isn't long enough, we have to do it seven times just to make sure.

We don't even talk about that.

Football games are actually low-key long, too.

Let's be real.

But I like it.

I can't talk about baseball without getting this song in my head: like root, root, root for the home team.

If they don't win it's a shame

because it's one two

three strikes you're out at the old ball game

it's a gorgeous song like that's the thing about baseball we can clown on it but it really is like the most historic like american like they were playing that shit like in the you know 1400s the great depression

Yeah, and like all those songs, like you're singing a song that the New Yorkers of Yore used to sing.

Yeah, it connects me to the people of the past.

Right.

And also, like,

you know, we want a homer, just a little homer.

H-O-M-E-R.

Homer, homer, homer.

We want a

not a belly itcher.

P-I-T.

C-A-H-E-R.

Pitcher, pitcher, pitch.

How does it go?

Because it goes, we want to sing.

Just a little sing.

S-I-N.

S-I-N.

B-L-L-E-S.

Go sing.

Let me sing.

We want a double, just a little double.

T-O-U, P-L-E, double, double, double.

We want a triple, just a little triple.

T-R-I, P-L-E, triple, triple.

And then how does it go?

We want a home.

Just a little home.

Maybe the H-O, H-O-M, H-O-M-E-H-R-U-N-E-R-U-N.

And home run.

Turtle.

H-O.

Hit.

By the way, you're right about that.

You're right about that.

Yeah, then it's a key change.

It's crazy.

Remix.

Oh, that's why I like that song, the key change.

And a remix.

Frick a fricka frick.

H-o-h-o-m, make-o-em, me, are-u-n.

Home, run.

Turdy.

Hit one.

Then run.

By the way, no other sport has songs like that.

We need to reevaluate the musical elements.

Yeah.

It counts for something.

Oh, I guess football has, oh,

Sunday night.

Okay.

And you know what?

You know what basketball has?

OGs will remember.

What?

Do what you're going to do, but I know what basketball has.

Friday Night Nicks on MSG.

Got a front row seat.

Do it just to get there.

They also have national anthem Fergie's version.

So true.

Cannot be understated.

No, but no one's got that spirit like baseball does.

And that's like...

You're right.

And that history.

That history.

There is something there.

Yeah.

That's beautiful.

So, Ed Kelsey

picking up the trash in the sweet.

So sweet.

So sweet.

She's a pop star and, you know, a sanitation girly.

We love.

Yeah.

And, you know,

trying to impress daughter-in-law of the future.

Like, so, so you know, she's taking this seriously.

It's so true.

Or she just, like, naturally.

She's a sweeper.

Yeah.

Oh my God, we have so much in common.

She's a sweeper.

She's a sweeper.

I sweep.

Like, yeah.

Okay, let me ask you a question.

When you're out at a restaurant and you go to the bathroom and you're washing your hands and they have like the garbage holes, you know, like the counter has a hole in it and it's a trash.

And there's like water all over the counter and like people's paper towels.

Do you clean it up?

No.

Oh, I do.

That's unsanitary.

Yeah, I know.

Yikes.

But I'm like, I'm a sweeper.

Like, I can't let that get you.

You're a sweeper to your core, but to your own detriment.

Sweeping is not serving you in this instance.

Does nobody else do that?

Sound off in the comments.

I feel like that.

I thought that was like

a universal thing.

No, that's really like unsanitary.

Because still, someone has to like wipe down the counter anyway.

So you're just like absorbing germs for what?

To help.

To sweep.

It's in her blood.

It's in my blood.

She can't turn it on and off.

No, I wouldn't even if I could.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

R.I.P.

to this ship.

Tom Brady and Irina Shake's relationship has fizzled.

There's no drama, says a source, but the two are no longer spending time together.

The pair who were first linked in July have gone their separate ways after their relationship fizzled out.

Multiple sources tell people.

TMZ was the first to report the news.

The source said, Irina was very...

I know

she did all this to make him jealous, and Bradley Cooper's seeing someone now.

Oh, yeah.

She like, so she overplayed the hat.

She aborted.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It happens.

Yeah.

No, you got, when you're that beautiful, I totally understand.

Like you have to be careful.

But you got to get the timing right of like, you know, of the user of one person.

Right.

Because you could push the other person.

You could make them jerry.

And that's exactly what happened.

Irina, I feel for her.

This girl, like, she can't catch a break.

She cannot get arrested.

Damn.

Well, Irina was very attracted to Tom.

The source says she liked dating him.

It excited her.

Wow, that's so different of her.

It excited her.

She's very attractive.

They had fun traveling to see each other.

In the end, it kind of just fizzled.

I mean,

I didn't think this was a great love, but to like the timing of her and Bradley, like now kind of inversely becoming single and one of them seeing someone, like, that sucks.

Yeah.

I just like a hot take.

Like, I think Bradley Cooper, like, like, I'm, like, he, like, was handsome.

The operative word being

Like, she should have stuck with Tom Brady.

She should have.

I actually just turned on the hangover the other night.

Um, I watched three minutes, but just enough to, like, remember that that's how we kind of were introduced to Bradley Cooper.

Yes.

And he's so, like, his whole vibe and his whole brand has changed so much since that.

I have to remember what he looked like in the hangover.

He looked just like a regular, like, bro.

No, he was like the gorgeous, handsome one.

Like, Zach Alphanacus was obsessed with him.

And he had like long hair, right?

Yeah.

And now he's like just a good-looking actor.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The long hair was was nice.

Yeah.

What do you think he was hottest in?

I would have to go look at IMTB, but obviously American Sniper.

Agreed.

I loved that like buzz cut beef patty look on him.

Yeah.

That was like, that's like my type.

Yeah.

Are there people who don't find that attractive?

Yeah.

I would say up until this point, Taylor Swift didn't find that attractive.

Maybe she did, but maybe those guys never were into her.

So she like kind of survival method, like went the artsy route.

But she was always singing about the football player who didn't like her.

But she was never dating them.

Because maybe they didn't want to date.

Like maybe it was out of self-preservation.

Maybe they wanted to date.

Maybe it was out of self-preservation.

No, you listen to you, belong with me.

Okay, that was 17 years ago.

Right, but those sorts of things, like they influence who you become.

She might have like put a wall up because she felt some sort of rejection from those people.

Yeah, I feel that.

Maybe Taylor should date Nick Bosa next.

Sound off in the comments.

Do you not find like Big Hunky Man attractive?

If you're a head or a woman

or a gay man.

Yeah.

Sound off.

Sound off.

Are you ready for our next story that I know you're going to find really funny?

What number?

It's four.

Three.

Oh my God.

No, I'm not sure.

So I know you're not ready.

And you have to get ready because this is like literally a turdy

special.

A turdy dreamscape.

Oh, I can't wait.

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Collective.com, focus on your passion, not your paperwork.

Thank you, Claudia.

I can't wait to hear this turdy dreamscape.

So I don't know if you've heard this, but Elon Musk said he would pay Wikipedia $1 billion to change its name to Dikapedia after accusing the website of losing its objectivity to the biases of higher-ranking editors.

So Elon commented, you know how they're always asking for money on Wikipedia, which you've shared.

He said.

It's one of my least favorite things.

He said, have you ever wondered why the Wikimedia Foundation wants so much money?

It certainly isn't needed to operate Wikipedia.

You can literally fit a copy of the entire text on your phone.

So what's the money for?

Inquiring minds want to know.

You know, by the way, Elon watches the show.

I literally fucking said this.

People around the world for free write up Wikipedia pages.

They literally do all the work.

I don't know what the hell Wikipedia is always asking us for a dollar for when they're literally like

doing like forced labor.

Right.

So he said he would give them $1 billion if they changed their name to Digapedia.

And then,

someone said, like, Wikipedia, take the money.

You could always change it back after you collect.

He said, one-year minimum.

I mean, I'm not a fool, LOL.

No, I'm dead.

That's so funny, but I also need him to use his platform to get down to the bottom of what they spend their money on.

And that's very interesting that he said, like, the code of the website is very simple.

So it's not like this crazy, elaborate website that requires engineers aplenty.

Right.

And also then X, you know, how they add context to tweets.

So they said, the Wikimedia Foundation is a charitable nonprofit providing free access to Wikipedia, while a text in English only copy of Wikipedia is about...

Wait,

You slurred your words.

Start again?

The Wikimedia Foundation is a charitable nonprofit providing free access to Wikipedia.

We know that.

Oh, okay.

So they're considered a non-profit because the website's free.

Sure, but we're the toast is free.

We're just getting to what they use this money for.

So it's to provide.

I'm sorry.

I want to focus on how can you consider yourself a non-profit because your product is free.

In 2022, Wikimedia had $154 million in revenue with $145 million in expenses.

You said $154 and $150.45?

What is $145 million worth of expenses going towards?

That's the question.

No, I don't know.

And who donated $154 million in revenue?

By the way, I'm.

But is it considered revenue if it's donations?

I'm so glad we're finally talking about this.

Like, I'm a little, you know, peeved that I wasn't the one to start the national conversation about it because I said it first.

However,

I'm so glad we're like, I've been dying to talk about it for a fucking minute.

There is something weird at Wikipedia and no one's talking about it, but now they are.

So now let me ask you.

I don't know what their motives are at Wikipedia and what they use all this.

So let me ask you.

Would you give a fuck what kind of pants, son of a bitch you shot you was wearing?

Let me ask you.

So I said, I don't know what their motives are, what they need the money for, but on its face, Elon offers you $1 billion to change the name of your business to Dikapedia for one year.

Do you do it?

Yes.

Yes.

One, because they're so committed to their non-profit, which non-profits like help people.

Like, I don't know who the fuck Wikipedia is helping.

We couldn't even use it as a trusted source for our term paper.

So like it's really helping no one.

Yes.

Because then like the Dikapedia, like that, you get press and more revenue.

Yeah.

Like if Elon said, I'll give you a billion dollars to change the name of the toast to the dick for a year.

Bitch, I do it for a million.

Literally, where do we sign up?

Yeah, but how do we get one of these offers?

Like Elon, okay, we will seriously change the name of our podcast to whatever you want.

Minimum a billion dollars.

I'll do that in a second.

Literally.

How do we get one of these offers?

I don't know.

I think,

I don't know what we'd have to do.

Someone send this to Elon, please.

I need a cool bill.

And the thing is, a billion dollars is so much fucking money.

And when you think about, okay, this is a company that made $154 in $154 million in revenue.

Elon's offering them 10X now.

No, it's a great deal.

Like, how do you turn it down?

Just because of your pride of not being Dikapedia?

Right.

Like a true nonprofit wouldn't care about the pride.

They would care about the profit.

Right.

That's kind of like what happened with Twitter and the shareholders when he made them an offer that like they couldn't refuse.

They have shareholders like who everyone would accept this deal.

He overpaid for Twitter.

Right.

Even though he changed it to X and made it his own.

I'm not into X, I will say.

Like I'm still calling it Twitter.

X has really grown on me.

I was just thinking about it this morning because I was reading something and it was like, so-and-so posted to X.

And really everyone has just adapted X being Twitter.

No, they really haven't.

Like media companies, like for accuracy purposes, they have to say, like I was watching football and they're like, make sure to follow the NFL on Facebook, X.

Like you have to say, and they have like time to prepare.

Colloquially.

Colloquially, no.

Yeah, they're reading from.

Right.

Colloquially.

Okay, maybe it hasn't taken yet, but I think that it's going to.

And when I think about X, it is so much more all-encompassing than the name Twitter.

And that's what he wanted to be.

I don't disagree with that.

I just like, I, I'm not a habit-changing girl.

We know this.

We do know.

It'll take turdy longer than the average user, but I think we're well on our way.

Like, at first, I didn't really see how this rebrand could happen so naturally, but I'm seeing it happen.

And I'm liking what I see.

I'm liking that Elon is having the important conversations on the platform that he bought, like Dikipedia.

I'm obsessed.

And also, did you see that Elon Musk made superchargers in Israel free?

So, like, if anyone in Israel during the war like has a Tesla, like, the charging is totally different.

I did.

Sorry, that's king shit.

Yeah.

Now, give us the billion.

Next.

But the thing is, I think he only like does it to things that he has a problem with.

I don't know if that Elon would have a problem with the toast.

I mean, I don't know how anyone has a problem with us.

We are such a delight.

We are two

of the funniest girls.

And I know us like offline.

When I tell you there aren't two more caring, charitable, generous, kind girls, the fact that we have so many haters like genuinely blows my mind.

We are amazing.

Yeah.

It's so true.

It's

just fact.

So I don't think Elon's trying to, you know, serve us.

Make us an offer we can't refuse.

Let's see just wants to support the cause.

Which is, come on, join Patreon.

Elon, become a

patron.

A for-profit.

Elon, don't you want to see what size jeans I'm wearing?

I know I do.

Are you ready for a fifth and final?

That was a turdy

dreamscape.

That was a turdy dreamscape.

Thank you.

Have you not heard that yet?

The Dikipedia thing that he offered them a bill?

I think actually they were talking about it at a book club last night.

Because I shared my fun fact about the superchargers.

So you were just talking about Elon?

We were talking about Israel.

As you do.

As one does.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I really am.

Someone else has a memoir coming out this week who's been completely overshadowed by Brittany, but he's telling his story as well.

He, wait, who?

John Stamos.

Oh, actually, I did know.

John Stamos.

I was never going to guess that.

John Stamos' addiction struggles, Hollywood romances, and more.

Find out the biggest bombshells from his memoirs.

So John Samos wrote his memoir called If You Would Called.

If you cold, cold.

If you would have told me is what it's called.

And

he's mentioning it all, divorce from Rebecca Romaine, his journey to sobriety,

his time on Full House.

It seems very...

He's lived a big life.

I think he's actually the perfect person for a memoir.

I think so too.

So he talks about his alcohol reliance, how it picked up during his time working on Broadway, during his ER days.

I didn't even realize he was on ER.

He went on.

That's so, Uncle Jesse.

He went on an entire press tour while fully drunk.

He recalls his scary DUI incident that led to his hospitalization and eventually rehab.

I forget about a time in the world where Rebecca Romain and Uncle Jesse were married.

And I love Rebecca Romaine's marriage currently with Jerry O'Connell.

Like, I think they're the real deal.

And when he was on our show, he was talking about how like difficult it is to have your wife be married to someone who looks like John Stamos.

And I forget about that time because I don't think I was like a conscious, you know, purveyor of pop culture.

But

like the most good looking couple on the planet.

Yeah.

Obsessed.

He also talks about the heartbreaking moment he learned of Bob Saggett's death.

Oh, yeah.

And a bunch of he has a lot of big things.

He has a lot of big things.

Yeah.

So he's mentioning it all in his new memoir.

Like I really feel bad for him because like the timing of his memoir release couldn't be worse.

Like Jada Pinkett's was last week.

Britney's is this week.

He really should have waited one more week.

Yeah, but I'm sure it'll still do well.

Yeah, the Full House like fans are looking.

And the Jon Steamos fans, like he's really acquired a lot of fans over the years.

Yeah, and he's also weirdly like a very digital person now.

He's always used to be in like the vlog squad videos.

He's good friends with Josh Peck.

He does a lot of podcasts.

He's very like social in terms of social media.

He was in the vlog squad videos.

Yeah, he used to like show up.

A couple like big celebrities used to be in the vlog squad videos.

Like Howie Mandel was randomly in in them all the time.

And I think it was because Josh Peck was in the vlog squad.

Josh Peck did a TV show with John Statemost called Grandfathered.

And I think that's how like John met the crew.

Got it.

Okay.

Yeah.

That was a crazy time.

And what's the vlog squad doing now?

So they've all kind of broken off in their own paths.

So Zane and Heath and Mariah and Matt have their own podcast.

Then Carly, Aaron, Matt, and Mike have another podcast.

What's David?

He has views, his podcast, I think,

with Jason.

Right.

And then, what's his name?

Jeff with the eye and the

crane.

Yes, that's what ended the whole vlog squad is that like David was making everybody do these crazy stunts on a crane in this lake.

And Jeff literally almost went blind from it.

I thought what ended vlog squad was the allegations against David.

That too.

Yes, yes, I forgot about that.

Whatever.

Jeff is like a very outspoken, anti-vlog squad type of person.

I do believe the rest of them are still friends.

And they all do different projects and they're like friendly with each other.

They go to each other's weddings.

Like Matt just got married.

So a bunch of people were there.

But I do think there's like, even beyond David and like the bigger people, there's like infighting.

I remember reading, there was like a fight between like a bunch of people.

I don't know.

The fact that that disintegrated so quickly was so insane.

Yeah.

I don't even remember a time, but like I was obsessed with those videos.

Yeah, you were.

Obsessed.

Well, John Seimos' memoir is out now.

Brittany's memoir is out.

The Camberton Counselor is out, even though you literally can't get it anywhere.

Turdy's memoir is out.

It's been out for a while, but still you can get it.

You can still read the story of the turd.

What should my next book be called now that I have this nickname?

Is your next book going to be like memoir part two?

I feel like my next book, I think I would do like a collection of short stories, but once I have more stories to tell, like I need to have a child.

Yeah, yeah, I love reading short stories about parenthood.

They just crack me up.

Yeah.

I think that's what my next book would be.

So like come up with a cute name for me.

Okay.

We have time.

No.

Speaking of,

speaking of, no, we have time.

Yeah.

So that's our show.

I have 13 text messages.

I just know shit's going away like at home.

Oh, right.

You have things going on in your home.

I do have things going on in my home.

It's very well said.

So is that our show?

That is our show.

No one else can claim it.

If anybody wants to donate to it or purchase it, the price is a billion dollars.

So do it that way, you will.

Cool billion.

Cool bill, Elon.

And if you want to come on, Elon, we would love to have you.

Love.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know everybody through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We are also available as podcasts anywhere.

Podcasts can be found.

So that's Spotify, Toon Stitcher, Public Radio, IR Radio Cast Box, all the places where we listen to podcasts, find us, the Toast Leaving Five Star View about how beautiful, stunning, and beyond wickedly talented we are.

Hope you have an amazing, gorgeous Tuesday, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.