Untethered and Unscrupled: Friday, July 14th, 2023

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Hey, Zach!

Are you smiling at my gorgeous canyon view?

No, Donald.

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Shout it out.

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy

Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

Weekend, Weekend, Friday, Friday.

Getting down on Friday.

Hey, Jax, happy Friday.

Happy Friday, Claude.

I know you're looking forward to the weekend, even though your weekend is kind of already kicked off.

Yeah, it's off without a hitch.

You're in the midst of your weekend.

Midsty.

How's your weekend going?

It's going great.

Would you like someone to butter your weekend?

Good one.

Good one.

Would you like us to assign someone to start your mother?

Weekend is going off great.

I'm in the Hamptons podcasting live from the Hamptons.

I hit up a Spritz event yesterday at Surf Lodge, which was just an absolute blast.

Great way to kick off the weekend.

It's raining, which is so disgusting and really kind of offensive to my people.

But other than that, I'm having a great weekend.

How's your, I know it feels like we're podcasting on a Saturday because yesterday felt like a a Friday, but it's Friday today.

Yes, it's Friday today, officially Friday.

Happy for everyone.

The weather is gloomy, which I kind of am feeling.

Like I was sleeping and it was rain was driving thunder lightning.

And I was like, this is just truly gorgeous for me, but not for someone who trekked out to the Hamptons for the weekend.

And who was hoping to perhaps catch a tan.

Right.

Not great news.

So I'm sorry.

Your loss is my gain.

But and I do have the Stride Brother in here.

The rain held off for their walk this morning so they were really they were feeling hashtag grateful and now they're just pooped okay well while the rain is obviously not what i wanted to hear this morning i heard something else this morning that is exactly what i wanted to hear oh and what is that somebody made an amazing point Who?

I believe it was someone in our Facebook group.

Because, you know, yesterday you and I were really kind of struggling, you know, trying to figure out a way to make the writer's strike about us.

Right.

And I do believe I have successfully found a way to make it about us.

Ready?

Okay.

So there's a litany of things that people in SAG are not allowed to do while the strike is ongoing.

You know, of course, working on any projects, touring, promoting projects.

So that means that nobody can go on Smartlists.

while the writer's strike is going on.

And that means no, you know, big stars going on the podcast and, you know, automatically shooting that podcast episode up to number one on the charts.

You know, know, we're, we're kind of consistently number two these days.

And I think our hopes of perhaps eclipsing, I don't know, all the smartless guys are in SAG.

Like, do you think they'll stop the podcast as a part of the strike?

I don't know.

That's what I would, that was my next question.

Okay, so this is a lot to process.

Obviously,

it's a little bit exciting, but I also think like they're so far ahead in how many episodes they bank that like we won't feel the effects for a while.

Like it's true.

But is them releasing episodes with other people promoting things a violation of the strike?

I don't think so because then Barbie can't come out next week.

Right?

Yeah.

No, that's true.

I mean, again, not to make everything about us, but this writer's strike is impacting me in other ways as well.

You know, I think I said this maybe on the Patreon or on the regular toast episodes this week.

I can't remember.

But I

had the privilege of being invited to the Oppenheimer premiere because Josh Peck, one of our good guys, podcast host, is in Oppenheimer.

And I got the call yesterday.

You know, the premiere was off.

Oh, no.

In tandem with the strike.

So, like, you know, I finally get invited to something cool and I can't even go.

That's messed up.

I know.

We do have more strike news today, so we will get into it.

I am going to start to think about like how this smartlist stuff could affect us.

And if they should even be putting out episodes, like while their comrades are on strike.

I just feel like it's kind of

stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's giving out of touch.

But I do know, I don't, I'm pretty sure podcasting is not a part of like SAG, even though the three of them are SAG members.

You know what I mean?

Right, right.

And also like it's unscripted, so that's not like part of the writers.

But as we've noticed, like a lot of people are foregoing things that have nothing to do with SAG, just to stand with SAG, like how the MTV awards were canceled.

And Lala Kent said she wouldn't go, even though she's not in, you know, I don't believe she, she actually might be in SAG, but not from Vanderpump Rule.

No, like she, people were like not going to those award shows to stand with the writers.

Right.

So like maybe you shouldn't put out your podcast to stand with the writers.

Yeah, I actually think it would be a very bad look if the Smartless guys continue to put out episodes while the strike is ongoing.

I really, I think it would be in very poor taste.

I agree.

They're the only ones in comedy, though, who I feel that way about because they're like such beacons in the film and TV industry.

But they actually are.

Like we're not even joking.

Yeah, everyone else is just like a slob like us, you know, like

trying to get out of the way.

And we we slobs, we slobs have no, you know, backbone.

We have no principles.

We're not married to anyone.

We're not unioned.

We don't need to stand for anything.

And we don't.

And we don't.

And we don't.

But the smartless guys, you know.

And we won't.

And the smartless guys, you know, they're so principled.

Well, you know what?

Now is the time to see if you really are.

So if they continue to put out episodes, I just think that'll be disgusting.

Yeah.

And I think they might have to be canceled.

Hashtag Smartless is overparty.

Smartless is overparty.

I think it's really kind of the only choice we have to support, just to support the writers.

You know, we have to cancel Smartless.

It's so clear what our choices need to be done.

100%.

So

do without what you will.

Do without what you will.

And think, you know, the next time you want to go listen to a fabulous episode of Smartless, say, is this what the writers would want?

No.

Are my choices affecting the writers?

It's true, but you can rest easy knowing, like, Claudia and I have nothing to do with the industry, with SAG, with anything in any real official capacity.

Like, if it's legit, they don't know us.

Yeah, like, we, if you need just kind of to be, like, a little bit more clear, we are just.

We are seriously irrelevant uglies.

We are nomads.

We are tied to nothing and nobody.

Like we are untethered.

We are rootless.

Like we stand for nothing.

So it is okay.

This episode is safe.

Like you can listen.

It's so true.

Like I can't stress that enough, you know?

Yeah.

And I just, I have a feeling, Jackie, like dead serious, like we might hit number one.

Like I'm being for real.

If there ever, we always say like if Smartlist goes on vacation.

No, if there ever was a time.

It would be now.

You think it's today?

No, I'm telling you, it will be like in a few weeks.

No, no, sorry.

I'm not saying today.

I'm saying like during this strike.

Like, this is our moment.

Oh, my God.

I'm looking at the charts right now.

And the Smartlist episode that is number four, not number one, because Tom Holland was on, but number four, and it's very clear why it's not number one, is the live from Boston MIT professor.

Oh.

Oh.

The way I'm like obsessed with Smartlist, and I have literally never listened to an episode.

Yeah.

No, but you watch their show, so

you know stuff.

I know something.

And because they put some of the live episodes in their docusary, so right, you're familiar now.

I'm familiar.

Well, all's that to say, make sure to listen to the toast.

And if you're listening on Spotify, that's so great.

We thank you so much for the support.

But, like, maybe head over to Apple, you know, leave a review.

Yeah, maybe just like for this one episode, stop what you're doing, switch over to Apple, and we just can like conglomerate.

Yeah, we can combine our forces.

Yeah, kind of like the writers.

There's power in numbers.

I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Me as well.

I look forward to seeing if this bears any fruit

and if your theory is correct.

Yeah.

I want, yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing like what the smartless guys, they're probably panicking.

Like, oh my god, the toast is coming for our neck.

What do we do?

We can't let them be number one.

That's probably like they're having a meeting on Zoom right now for sure.

Hey, guys.

Hey, boys.

Hey, boys.

Collab soon?

Collab.

That's a lot of people on one podcast.

I think we'd have to go separately.

I wouldn't want to do it without you.

So true.

I don't want to do anything without you.

It's so true.

Yet you're in the Hamptons gallibanting without me.

How's my boy?

Jackie's watching Theo for the weekend.

I must have called four times last night.

Like, I'm obsessed.

How is he?

He's so great.

You called me when I was already like in the bedroom.

I figured you had like turned in for the night.

I turned in.

It's lights out.

But he is doing great.

Him and Harry are having such a blast bruno is having his internal struggle but he does get his moments like of of joy being mommy's sweet angel and i and that buoys him to get to the next day but overall it's been really lovely i'm so glad and you know you and i did chat last night but i think everyone should know like i was in I was in the Uber with Brian and he was asking me so many questions about the camper of the counselor you know like dad energy he just had questions and I was like trying to recite what I know of the book from memory but to be honest, I need to memorize the whole thing because like I couldn't, I couldn't hack it.

And so I just decided to, what if I just call Jackie up and get a live reading from the author herself?

And we all were in the car.

We like put the phone up and Jackie read the book for us.

You guys literally everyone was crying in the back of the Zuber.

And I just felt like it was a great moment for mothers, for fathers, for campers, for counselors.

And I think everybody should head over to the camperandthecounselor.com to get a copy or head over to Talk Shop Live to get a signed copy.

Are they still available?

They are still available.

All of the links to all of the different retailers are in my bio, or you can go go to camperingcounselor.com.

You could get it straight up on Amazon, you know, if that's

if that's how you like to do it.

You could go to IndieBound, Trulia, if you want to support small bookshops.

Like, there's a million ways to skin this cat and get this book.

So thank you to everyone who's already pre-ordered.

And if you've been on the fence, like, pull the trigger.

Just do it.

Like, Nike.

What if you just pre-ordered the book?

The winding camp roads give me goosebumps and chills.

Gorgeous.

That was me driving to the Hamptons yesterday.

I'm like, Ben, are these winding camp roads giving you goosebumps and chills?

Ooh, another major life update.

Have you ever had Blazed Pizza?

Yes, I have because I did like an ad for them literally six years ago.

Okay, like I obviously know what it is.

It's one of an, it's like a newer fast food, you know, place.

It's not like, it's not an obvious one.

You know, it's not like McDonald's or Burger King.

But me and Ben were driving to the Hamptons and oh my God, I was so fucking hungry.

I thought I was going to faint.

And like I just needed to, you know, when you need to like eat the first thing that you see in your line of vision yeah that was me and I just I saw a blazed pizza and I was like what if I just got blazed pizza I'd never had it before um well all I know about it is that they serve pizza and I think it's partially owned by LeBron James so I was like okay a convergence of my two things pizza and celebrities and my expectations were low I'm not gonna lie when I tell you it was so fucking delicious like it's basically like chipotle for pizza like you could just make your own pizza and it's like really thin crust it was so good like me and Ben were obsessed and they had found soda oh and I walked in in and guess what song was playing.

I knew I was going to have a positive experience when I heard this song.

I think you put it on your story.

I said it was country.

So there's the genre.

Lou Combs.

No, it's like kind of a deep cut.

It's not an obvious country, but for us, we love her and it.

Who?

It's a song we're always singing.

I don't know.

Dying.

I promise I didn't know he was your man by Kim.

Like so random.

I was like, oh, this place is lit.

And then me and the guy who were making the pizza, like, we kind of had this unique connection.

Um, he thought I was hilarious, and therefore, you know,

I adored him because the, you know, the number one weight in my heart is just to tell me I'm funny.

Oh my God, he was cackling.

I didn't even say anything that funny.

I was just like, oh man, I can't find my husband.

Ben was like walking around the block looking for something else.

I'm like, we're just going to eat Blazed Pizza.

And then you never found your husband again.

Now you have a new husband.

No, I slept with the Blazed Pizza guy.

He's here with me this weekend.

Is he going to be a sports correspondent on the podcast today?

No, he's not really into sports.

Oh, what's he into?

Pizza.

That's awesome.

Yeah, I just wanted to say, like, I'm, I kind of pride myself on being, you know, really well versed in the fast food universe.

And I had, like, never had it.

And now that I have, like, I will be having it again.

It was excellent.

Okay, great.

Are you going to go to that one on your way home so you can see your man?

It was honestly.

Yes.

It was honestly gorgeous.

It was so clean.

I used the bathroom too, and it was like so divinely clean.

Except I will say I got a chocolate chip cookie and it was one of the most disgusting things I've ever had in my life.

Like I actually couldn't even finish it, which is so not like me because even a bad chocolate chip cookie is like still a cookie.

Yeah, it's still like cookie flour sugar.

I mean chocolate flour sugar.

Cookie flour sugar.

So it was disgusting and they need to work on that.

But they sold beer and wine and I'm like, how do we, we need to get spritz in blaze.

We do.

Also, like maybe you should have done the partnership with Blaze six years ago.

No, literally, I'm obsessed.

Or today.

Not you, Jackie.

Not you just kind of like sitting on this secret of Blaze.

Like you knew and you didn't tell me.

Yeah, no.

And I remember there's not a Blaze in the city, so I had to go outside.

I think I went

towards New Jersey for it.

I went to Queens.

Blaze takes you to amazing places.

No, they really do.

And like there were all these like teenagers.

It's clearly like a local spot where like everybody just like chills and like.

It's like a nice after-school hangout because it was like Thursday, maybe three o'clock.

Like they had just gotten out of school.

They're like eating pizza, like playing on their phones.

Like it just honestly was kind of idyllic.

Wow.

Beautiful day.

It really was.

It took us forever to get to the Hamptons yesterday.

Literally, if you do the drive to the Hamptons, it's one highway.

Literally, it's the Long Island Expressway the entire way.

It's the most boring drive because you just don't do anything.

And when we get in the car, Ben's like, I have Google Maps.

Ben doesn't use Apple, so I have Google Maps.

He's like, let's use Waze.

I'm like, why?

Google Maps?

Like, I'm like, what's the big deal?

He's like, I like to see, Waze tells you when there are cops.

I'm like, oh, okay.

So he's an insane fucking driver.

I'm going to call the cops cops on him.

He's dodging the popo, you know?

I'm going to say, get his, your guys' new license plate number.

Yeah.

And I'm going to call whenever I'll track you.

Yeah.

Because I have your GPS.

And then I'll call the local sheriff and say, there's a madman on the LIE.

So we used ways.

And when I tell you, we were not on the Long Island Expressway for one minute.

I didn't even know there was a way to get to the Hampens that doesn't just take the LIE all the way to Manorville.

Like I, we were, and the time kept going up.

Like literally, we were supposed to get there, I think 3.55.

We got here at 5 o'clock.

It was the longest drive ever.

By the time we got out of the car, like we were so fucking done with each other.

We were like literally

hating each other's guts.

And I think that's kind of why the Blaze Pizza guy was so like easily able to come between us because we were vulnerable.

You were vulnerable.

And so you're saying Waze took you on a bad path.

Yeah, it wasn't the ways to go.

And that's what Waze does now.

Like people are still like living in this fantasy that Waze, like, you'll circumvent the traffic and you'll find new streets that nobody knows about.

Like Waze is ruined, you guys.

Don't like you will.

You will circumvent the traffic and you will find new roads, but like at what cost?

No, and everyone else who's using Waze is on those roads.

Yes, it's so true.

There was like all these other forlorn cars clearly going to the Hamptons on these like random ass backroads.

We were all just looking at each other.

What have we done?

Right.

So, those of us who are a step ahead are going back to the major highways where everyone has left because they're following Waze.

Yeah.

So, that was like a little bit about my day

thus far.

Okay.

Well, thank you for sharing.

You're welcome.

Thank you for opening up.

It's been a pleasure.

And how was your party?

Oh, the Spritz Party was fabulous.

You know, I hadn't been to Surf Lodge on a Thursday night ever.

If you go on Surf Lodge, like, you know, for those who don't know, like one of the most popular places to go out in Montauk.

And it's a madhouse on the weekends.

Like it's so fun, but it's so packed.

And I guess like on the weekdays, they do different types of events that are much more chill.

And oh my God, it was heavenly.

Like, because if you've been to Surf Lodge, it's so beautiful.

It's on the water and it's a sunset, but it's hard to focus on the beauty of it all on the weekends because it's just so packed, so much energy, so many people.

It was so civilized.

There was like a live band.

We had drinks.

We had dinner.

It was amazing.

I literally, I so underrated to go on a Thursday night.

It was so beautiful.

We had a great time.

Then we just came back and swam.

I went to bed early, watched a little young Sheldon.

It was, it was gorgeous.

Gorgeous.

Yeah, really good stuff.

Well, we'll set you a sail on your weekend.

First, we have to deliver the fast five stories, plus a little TV recap.

I watched Kardashians.

I don't think you did.

I did not.

But the fifth and final story is coupled with the TV recap.

So without further ado,

here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Make sure to check that out because it's investing season.

We all want to look our best.

Summer sales, summer things.

You know, we've all got weddings to attend and we want to invest in good things.

We want to make sure that they're, you know, the real deal.

So eBay.com.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Impossible Foods.

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You know, we got to cook meat.

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We eat a lot of Impossible, Jackie specifically, because she

likes, you know, plant-based meat and we keep kosher.

I just had an Impossible beef burrito on a Delta flight that was so unbelievably delicious, which was a real treat for me because I can never eat meat on planes because it's not kosher.

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Head over to to the meat aisle at your local store, grab some impossible beef or patties, and get grilling because it's hot grill summer and some of us are hungry.

So thank you, Impossible Foods, for sponsoring today's episode.

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Yada well, cam.

Our first story, I will say these stories are in no particular order.

Okay.

Joe Jonas reveals an embarrassing moment in his life when he pooped himself on stage.

Yep, so while appearing on Chris FM's Will and Woody radio show in Australia on Thursday, the singer was asked to to tell a story he's never told before.

In reply, he spilled the beans about the time he pooped his pants on stage.

He said, I was with a few friends yesterday and we were just talking about how there's a point in your life where as an adult, you can remember the last time you shot your pants.

He said that the incident happened four years ago and that he was saved by a rapid costume change.

He said, it's fresh, but I've been able to work through it a lot.

therapy.

He said, let's just say it was a bad day to choose to wear white clothing.

You might, you think it might be a little toot.

It might have been a little something else, a little little something extra.

Okay.

Ew?

So it was like mid-wardrobe shit change during the set.

If you go in the archives, there's a wardrobe change halfway through the show, and it was maybe a little bit like, oh, that was an interesting choice to change clothes that quickly.

That's a story I've never told before.

He said it was a light one.

It wasn't a full.

So I was able to tell the tale.

Okay.

Let me give you a little more details on the color smell.

My God.

No, he literally is being so detailed, it's borderline offensive.

I do often wonder about people who perform so much.

Like, I've never seen, you know, like a star sneeze.

Like, how does Taylor Swift, like, not have to sneeze for the whole three hours?

You know what I mean?

I mean, your body does, like, kind of get with the program when you have, like, a lot riding on things.

Like,

your body just like figures it out.

But I think when you perform so much, like, you're obviously bound to.

something to go wrong.

And I do often think about that.

So I'm glad he told the story because I did wonder, but he did, you know, go into such grave detail.

As somebody who like at one point was really attracted to joe jonas i'm definitely second guessing myself yeah i think it's really generous of you to compare like shitting your pants to a sneeze which like a sneeze is so involuntary no for sure but i'm like more so i'm really talking about like just bodily functions that we experience every day that you really can't experience on stage yes i agree with that like even having to pee which they schedule time for pee breaks and i'm sure like you plan your drinking beforehand um

it just sounds like he was getting a little brazen with his farts on stage.

Yeah, no, I mean, that's a good idea.

He probably farts a lot on stage, and he just like kind of got confused.

I mean, it's kind of the perfect place to fart.

It's so loud, nobody's going to hear you.

Everybody in the room is like jumping, sweating, screaming, kind, throwing up.

Like, there's just smells everywhere.

Like, no one's going to assume that the smell is like something you created.

Right.

So, I get that.

I do.

That's why, you know.

I think we'd all be lying if we said like, you know, none of us have ever like farted at a club.

It's really the perfect place to fart.

Having said that,

it was a lot of detail.

Yeah, it was, but it's a slow news day.

So this is big news.

No, he could, he couldn't have chosen a worse time to tell this story because it's getting way more pickup than it normally would.

I've seen it everywhere because there's really nothing going on.

Like everyone's on strike, so no one's like doing anything.

And it's like he told it in Australia.

Like I think he

made its way

in this corner of the world.

My American friends will never know.

They'll never find out.

But no.

That's so funny and so true.

And I'm like, the timing truly couldn't have been worse.

Yeah, now it's literally the biggest story of the day.

I saw it like three times this morning before we even started recording.

It's the number one fast five.

It literally is the number one fast five.

I'm so sorry, Joe.

But your timing really could have been better.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Jake Owen is addressing the rumors that claim Taylor Switch.

Jake Owen.

Jake Owen, the country star.

The country star?

Yeah.

Wow, deep cut.

He's so random.

But the rumor is that Sparksfly is about him.

What?

And he's addressing the rumor.

So

he said that he's not the man behind Taylor Swift's song Sparksfly.

Following the release of Speak Now Taylor's version, the singer admitted he's aware that Swifties have theories about him being the inspiration for the 2010 song.

He said it's a great song and the speculation has always been funny to me.

I'm sure Taylor probably laughs at it too, but I'm happy to even have my name in the discussion around it.

She's

an amazing girl and an amazing artist.

It's been incredible to see how she's grown as a musician and what a global phenomenon she's become.

So, according to the Swifties, they speculate that it's about him because she wrote

Portland, Oregon in the song's liner notes, allegedly hinting at their performance in the city together.

Like, I think she was opening for him 17 years ago.

They performed in Portland, and like, there's something about the song that's Portland.

Right, Portland, Oregon.

I know, I knew it.

Like, I didn't have enough time to think it through.

Oregon.

I, like,

how do you say it?

Portland, Oregon.

But, like,

I know probably Oregon is how Oregonians say it, but the way that I speak is like through accentuated vowels.

I have to be true to myself, Oregon.

Okay.

I mean, I guess you still like the Oregon Trail.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Probably like the best fun fact I currently have in my arsenal is that the Oregon Trail was created by Kevin O'Leary, Mr.

Wonderful from Shark Tank.

Yeah.

And that was like a part of the education company that he first sold that made him like a billionaire and why he's really eligible for being a shark.

Yeah, as he should be.

As he should be.

He's also bringing back the Oregon Trail.

It's taken me years to like realize

when I used to watch the show in earnest, you know, before I was just a young girl watching.

Before you became jaded.

Yeah, when I was just young, I thought he was like really unnecessarily mean.

I agree.

And now I'm like, these people need to to hear this.

He's saving people time and money

by not sugarcoating their bad ideas.

No, you are 100% right.

I think it's kind of that thing where like you watch TV for many years of your life, sex in the city, and your POV on the characters as a young person versus, you know, once you're matured, it changes completely.

Yeah.

Like I would definitely be the Simon now.

Maybe growing up, I fancied myself a little Paul.

A Randy.

Randy.

You were definitely a Randy.

Now I'm like, people need to hear hard truths, and nobody wants to say it.

Nobody wants to be the one.

But you're going to be the one.

I would be the one now.

No, I agree with you completely.

I used to be like, oh my God, he's so mean.

But sometimes these people are so dumb and they need to be told that.

And some of the other sharks just say nonsense in order to get out of the deal because they obviously don't want to be a part of the deal.

So they're like,

I'm out.

Yeah.

But like, Wonderful at least takes the time to let them know why like he doesn't want to critique

and like why your idea is shit.

Totally.

Knowledge your hunt.

Wait, can we go back to Jay Cohen?

Yeah.

I had literally no idea his name was even a part of the Swift universe.

He's such a random like old school country artist.

Having said that, that's such a nice thing to say about Taylor, like that he's just happy to be a part of the conversation.

And

he's a cutie.

So like I could totally see Taylor having like open for him and had a crush on him.

He's like extremely good looking.

and Sparksfly is such a nice song, like, it's yeah, it's completely complimentary.

I want to look up the lyrics,

like, it's just a very flattering song if it's potentially written about you.

Yeah, who else?

Who it do you have any names in the mix for who it was?

I never, I never thought who is Sparksfly about.

Like, I think of the whole Speak Now era as like about different people.

Does he have green eyes?

Hit me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down.

Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

eyes just john mayer

john mayer and i don't think speaking i don't think sparks fly is about john john mayer has brown eyes okay okay he's a brown-eyed girl

my brown-eyed girl so and look get me with those green eyes baby as the lights go down because they were like doing the show before yeah and the lights went down because then lights go up give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around oh that might be a reference to haunted.

Who's haunted?

Which is also on speak now.

So if we could figure out who's haunted is about too, we could perhaps connect the two.

Mm-hmm.

You and I walk a fragile line.

Because they work together.

I have known it all this time, but I never thought I'd live to see it break.

Okay, I don't know what that's about.

I'm getting quiet and it's all too

and I can't trust anything now.

And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake.

Okay.

I don't know.

I just want to say this song's about Jay Cohen.

Okay, continue.

She said, like, my mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea.

I imagine, like, one, he was 10 years older than her and

probably married.

It worked just because

you're a bad idea.

You touch me once and it's really something.

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be.

He literally just said that in the interview.

Like, she's an amazing artist.

I think he was probably like so taken.

By her beauty, her talent, her youth.

She was even better than he imagined she would be.

She's on her guard for the the rest of the world, but with him, she knows it's no good.

She could wait patiently, but she really wishes he would drop everything now.

Meet her in the porch.

It's very rainy in the Pacific Northwest.

It's so true.

Kiss her on the sidewalk, take away the pain because she sees sparks fly whenever he smiles.

And maybe, maybe his show had pyrotechnics.

Maybe.

Sparks were flying.

But he also has a gorgeous smile.

I think he has veneers.

He's extremely handsome.

He's extra.

Like, how do you go on tour with this man and not write a song about him, honestly?

And, like, not fall in love with him when you're the opener.

So he's like much more famous than you.

I'm sure he was a, you know, a real mentor to her.

And he's so handsome.

And she's so young and impressionable.

I never thought for, I never would have guessed it's about him, but like it totally could be.

It's totally about him, but I also think he has no idea it's about him.

Right, because it's really a song about a crush.

It's not about two people who ever fell in love.

It's like about

a dream.

It's a fantasy.

Yeah, it's like enchanted, kind of.

Yeah, so he has no idea it's about him.

She thinks, like, he thinks that she and him are laughing about this together.

Meanwhile, she's laughing at him that he has no clue.

Totally.

We're not laughing with you, Jake.

We're laughing at you.

But I'm glad that he said this because now we know it is about him.

No, now we know he's a part of the speak now universe.

I did not know that.

Yeah.

And that he's a good one.

Yeah, he seems like a nice guy.

Yeah, and he's so handsome.

Yeah, and he's like random too.

It's not obvious.

Like Jamai are so obvious, you know?

Yeah, like that's everyone's crush.

But like Morgos should be crushing on Jake Owen.

Agreed.

Agreed.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

It's actually a great story because we get to talk about Shark Tank some more because Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran is showing off her $1 million mobile home.

Oh, I saw it.

She said it's her Taj Mahal.

So Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran, Corcoran,

shocked fans when she took viewers inside her mobile home.

In a TikTok video posted by Caleb Simpson, the creator known to document a host of celebrity homes, she's seen giving a tour of her humble West Coast pad in affluent Pacific Palisades.

She calls it a double-wide.

She said, here's my Taj Mahal, she added, explaining that she paid 800K for the home and invested $150K more for renovations.

Her kitchen is equipped with the leftover tiles she had at her New York City penthouse, which overlooks Central Park.

She said that she prefers her mobile home, which boasts ocean views, to her luxury Manhattan pad.

She said, as beautiful as my New York City penthouse is over the park with all this space, it does not have an ocean and there's no arguing with the ocean.

There is an allure to looking at the ocean that you can't beat in my opinion.

So, you know, Barbara's a queen.

Having said that, this could never be me.

Yeah, this is like one of your least favorite celebrity trends.

Yeah, like glorifying, you know,

being middle class, you know, like, I just, oh, I want a house by the ocean and I'm Barbara Corcoran.

let me go buy the biggest one in malibu like i love her for not being wasteful like i get it but like why don't you leave like the small houses for people who need them you know

yeah but it's it's not it's not very small it has two three bedrooms and two i watched the video i watch a video it must be like 1500 square feet yeah but it can go on the road

No, no, I don't think it's like a mobile home like that.

Well, it says mobile.

It's not a mobile home.

You know how like

kind of in like a trailer park?

Like not all the houses are trailers.

They're like the guests, you could pick them up and move them, but like they're planted in the ground.

You know what I mean?

Got it.

Yes, yes, yes.

I mean, it has to be.

It's so big.

Yeah.

It's very pretty and very well done.

Like the inside looks like, you know, Chip and Joe were there.

Yeah, she said it's a part-time home for her.

She uses it a number of weeks a year and would be thrilled if she wanted 12 weeks a year, honestly.

So she doesn't like actually live there.

She said, no, no, no.

I like to see people use where I live and make it warmer.

And, you know, they just leave a little puddle of happiness I feel behind when they move out at the end of the week.

Oh, yeah.

And so, basically, what she had said, I watched the video is that she saw this house, like, went up, knocked on the door, and was like, I want to buy this house.

And the lady was like, Get the fuck out of here, bitch.

It's not for sale.

And Barbara was like, Listen, I'm gonna buy it, I'm gonna give you a great price, and you can stay here whenever you want.

So, I think

the woman who sold it to her like spends a lot of time there because Barbara said she only spends a couple weeks a year there.

Okay, and that's pretty cool.

Yeah, that's cool, but like, why?

I don't know.

Why should she wait?

no I don't know

Barbara Corcoran is quirky

that Barbara Corcoran yeah that's something that you need to know yeah but I feel like it comes through on the show it comes through on the show but in real life she's just as if not more quirky Ben just shot a video series with her he was like she was not what I expected I'm like no I know she's like kind of quirky she came on the breath once and she was not what I expected and then a lot of times she'll do other shows and sometimes what she says like goes viral she says crazy stuff like the stuff like when she said her and whoopie like they, that she could like fit two of herself in Whoopi's pants.

Yeah, she like, she says crazy shit.

Yeah,

she got in so much.

She got in so much trouble for that.

But see, she's not trying to like start drama.

She's just like an oddball quirky queen.

Right.

Totally.

So this maybe is just like one of those things we're going to chalk up to like Barbara Corcoran.

Barbara Corcoran, 100%.

Yeah.

And it's just so so funny because like if you live in New York, I don't know if I'm sure Corcoran exists outside of New York, but it's like the premier real estate.

It is like Sotheby's.

It's like so highbrow.

And just knowing it was started by quirky Barbara Corcoran is so funny.

Yeah,

it is really funny.

And that is true.

I kind of forgot that Corcoran is her.

Yeah, I mean, she, I believe she sold it a while ago, but it's her name, like Corcoran.

It's all over.

Like, it's so elite.

Like the biggest houses in the Hamptons and pen houses are are all corker and like it's so elevated and highbrow and it's just like this nutty little lady you know yeah it's hilarious it really is

are you ready for our next story no

no

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Oh my God, by the way, when I started doing the read, I literally thought the same thing.

Okay, our our next story: Little Writer's Strike News: the Oppenheimer star-studded cast went on strike.

They made an early exit from the UK premiere of their movie as acting unions bring the industry to a halt.

So, an emotional Emily Blunt and Florence Pugh led the charge as the star-studded cast walked out of the film's UK premiere on Thursday, as thousands of actors went on the biggest strike to hit Hollywood in 60 years.

You know, the studios are so dumb because, like, like, they should just agree.

They just need to like negotiate and get to a good place with the union because we're about to like enter into this like renaissance of movies.

Like, we were just talking about earlier in this week, how theaters have been struggling and movies have been struggling, getting people in theaters.

And now it's like this Barbie hype and the Oppenheimer hype.

And now all these moments are being, you know, sidetracked because of the strike.

So it would really just behoove them to make it work.

Yeah, I mean, I think they're trying to make it work.

It's just the gap is so wide.

That's what Fran was saying.

Like, I feel like they're both trying to come to the table, but they really can't see each other.

I don't know what's going to have to give.

You know, Fran held a press conference, and I think she was asked, like, you know, how could you be gallivanting, you know, in Italy, Dolce and Gabbana, Kim Kardashian, when there's such an important thing going on?

And she's like, that is work.

Like, we are working.

I'm sure Kim Kardashian would rather be at home with her three kids at her house.

Like, we are working.

I was literally, you know, in three different time zones up all night.

Working with everyone, like, but I still have to work.

And honestly, I just like loved the direct nature of her response.

Like, she was like, you yeah no she was taking no and also like i think people need to reserve that kind of outreach for like politicians who are not like where they need to be and like instead off gallivanting like like seriously leave fran alone like don't fucking off like she can do her job remotely and it's like right you know actors and writers and it's like they'll be okay I have the like the utmost faith in Fran.

Like, that's what I was saying the other day.

Like, you know, it's Fran versus Bob Iger.

Like, but I really, I'm putting my money on Fran.

I just feel like if Fran and Bob got into the room, they could, just the two of them, you know, kind of put, set all the noise aside.

But they can't, Jackie.

There's so much red tape.

I know, but I feel like if it was the two of them, they both seem like logical, level-headed business people.

Like, if they could just get to talking.

Wait, I kind of ship.

Like, I feel like this is the start of like a romance novel.

She's the head of the actors.

Literally.

But she's ahead of.

No, they're on equal playing fields now because she's a novelty.

You're right.

It is a romance novel.

Like they're, it's, it's enemies to lovers.

And and they have to, and they have to, like, be locked in a room.

Like, we're not getting out of this room, we're sleeping in the same bed until we figure out.

And then they literally leave the room with, you know, the best deal for everyone and, you know, a ring on her hand.

Yeah, they need to simplify this.

Yeah.

What is the name of this romance book/slash movie called where Fran and Bob, like

it's like something about like the art of the deal, you know?

Ooh, not like the sag saga.

No, that's too obvious.

Like, one of my books, it would be called like The Exchange, you know?

Totally.

I literally just read a book.

It would be like Bill Black.

It was horrible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or no, like, strike through her heart.

Right.

It's the deal he never expected and she never wanted.

Like, something like that.

That's good.

Obsessed.

We figured it out.

Obsessed.

Write the book.

Somebody get Colleen on it.

But we also have the solution to the strike.

No, I kind of ship i don't know what both of their marital like situations are but they are perfect for each other yeah and just get the two of them in a room together and this thing will sort itself out no one else because other people i feel like other people have like interests you know people have like vested interests and like agendas in in in halting things and you know everyone has their agenda you got to look out for them but i feel like fran and bob are you know they're operating they have their agenda obviously but like for their people it's the one that we know you know it's not like the the back channeling that we don't ulterior motive

Yeah,

love that Okay, so solved just an idea like I just want to say like going to a premiere getting like all dressed and taking all the pictures and like them leaving I just feel like the premieres counterintuitive you didn't really like make a statement because you like the the parts that happens next like we don't even get to see and it's like what you I I imagine they don't want to see their movie again like they kind of like

gain the system they get to like look like they're like hi i'm helping It's performative.

But it was like better for them that they only had to show up for 20 minutes, but they still got their Getty photo.

Right, they got like the PR, which is the whole point of a premiere.

Right, right.

Like you could have like canceled the whole premiere and

good point.

Made a statement.

Yeah.

So I just don't really feel like they did anything.

No, that's facts.

That's my take.

No, that's major facts.

And then they did like this whole walkout while the cameras were up, thus making it more

pressed for the film.

The whole thing is more pressed for the film.

Like we wouldn't be talking about their UK premiere.

Like it was so self-serving.

No, it was kind of perfect.

Mission accomplished.

Respectful.

Look like a hero.

Look like a hero.

Promote your movie.

Yeah.

Not actually have to sacrifice anything.

Right.

Get home earlier.

Not have to see this long-ass movie again.

Go to bed.

happy.

But you got your pics to post to the Graham where you can pretend like you were helping.

Right.

Love that.

The cycle of performative activism continues to move.

The cycle is complete.

Yes.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yes.

Because Chloe Kardashian is denying that she was shading Black

China with comments about Dream.

So in this week's episode of The Kardashians, it's Dream's sixth birthday party.

Chloe is talking a little bit about her role as.

Oh my God, that was six years ago, the

Black China and Rob thing.

That makes sense.

That's when we were like doing the breath.

Yeah, I know, it's just so crazy.

It actually traps feels like yesterday.

And I was doing a Blaze Pizza ad.

Yeah, literally.

So Chloe talks about like her role in Dream's life and her role as Rob's sister.

And you can tell that she's trying to be so delicate about the matter and political.

The only thing that she really says is like, I feel like I'm a third parent sometimes.

She never, like, you know,

what could have felt like more true and harsher would have have been like i feel like dream's mom but she didn't say anything like that like she said i don't have a relationship with dreams mom because she sued us for hundreds of millions of dollars um but like dream has her mom and i just feel like a third parent sometimes because i'm so close to rob and like true and dream are so close so i'm just like always with dream

chloe's role in dream's life like came up a few times on the show and you could really tell she like was struggling with how to word what she was saying while not being disrespectful.

So I think then people took that and ran with it, like that she's a co-parent to Dream.

She's usurping Dream's mom.

So she took to Instagram to say, it saddens me to see clickbait headlines that are taken out of context or twisted to be something that they're not.

I love all of my nieces and nephews more than I can express.

She said that she's particularly close with Dream.

My brother and I are extremely close.

I'm with Dream all the time because I'm with my brother all the time.

I love her beyond measure.

She also said that she's really close with True.

I wholeheartedly, she said, I wholeheartedly believe that it takes a village to raise a child.

Life is full of ups and downs and I am proud that we have a family that can lean on one another.

That's what family does.

She said, Rob is doing the best he can as a parent and in life.

Angela is doing the best she can as a parent and in life.

And I am doing the best I can as a parent and in life.

We are all trying to do our best in life.

Our children are healthy and happy.

So she's really like slamming these

exaggerations.

Which is, I'm sure, so frustrating for her because she really wasn't trying to say anything.

No, and I think we learned that Rob has, I think, primary custody of Dream.

So Chloe being with Dream all the time actually makes a lot of sense because she's so close with Rob.

Right.

And Rob is always with his daughter.

Instagram is not reality, but it's Dream is always with

the kids.

The kids.

Which I know, you know what?

And she should be because like there's literally three other girls that are her age, like Dream, Chicago,

True, and True and Stormy are.

like all the same age and they like the same events.

No, you should grow up with your cousins.

There's literally nothing wrong with this.

Yeah, I'm just really curious like if anything has changed between China and the girls since China,

I know.

I feel like they would have that in common.

And I was, what I was about to say is like, I feel so

kind of conflicted with the China thing because like she was really horrible to the Kardashians.

And I feel like the Kardashians like did all that they could for her and she ended up suing them for hundreds of millions of dollars.

But I'm also in this, you know, I'm following her journey where like, you know, she's getting her filler removed and she's kind of like living this more modest lifestyle.

And I'm really, really like rooting for her um I think it's like a genuine change so I don't know how to grapple both those ideas yeah me too I mean maybe it just takes time like maybe I think they are very forgiving and a lot of things like happen in their family they kind of have to have like a short memory but I imagine that like sure China says she's changed and is changing but like you kind of need to stick with it longer before we're gonna like believe you um but who knows if China even forgives them because she feels like she was wronged by them.

Right.

But it would be better for everyone if everyone could get on the same page.

So in the context of the episode from this week, where did she say that?

Did she throw Dream a birthday party?

She threw Dream her birthday party.

Yeah.

So there was like a conversation.

One, she's on the phone with Rob planning the party, like writing down everything Dream wants.

Then at the party, like her and Scott are

Rob, no, just his voice.

But she said she thinks Rob will come back to the show eventually, that he talks about it.

And he seemed extremely well on the phone good like they were just like having like a normal brother-sister combo um

you would never know that like he he was struggling for so long like it was just totally a fine conversation about like the kids party okay good and

I saw a bunch of clips chloe said he's the best dad Oh which is really sweet yeah there were a lot of clips the episode like was I actually didn't really love it um because it was all about this like Christmas album which was um

I think other people enjoyed it I I don't know why I didn't.

It was like really bothering me.

Like they were the clips that I saw were so funny.

No, they were recording this album.

It's like no one wanted to record it.

And it's like, nobody has a gun to your guys' head.

Like you don't have to do things you don't want to do.

This family and Christmas, like between the Christmas card, like they always, there's so much.

I guess that's kind of relatable.

Like holidays really bring out the worst in people, like when you're with your family for so long, but like they need to stop doing things together on Christmas because it's always a vibe.

No, and like they're all freaking out about having to sing.

Like nobody wants to sing.

First of all, apparently Kendall has a good voice.

She won't participate.

I saw that clip.

Are you kidding me?

That's so lame.

So lame.

You have a good voice.

Let's hear it.

Kylie wouldn't do it either because it's not how she sees her singing career going.

She, she was in one scene and she stole the show.

With her singing?

No, with her commentary.

She was so funny.

Kendall and Kylie are giving us nothing.

Chloe literally was having a panic attack about singing, but she wouldn't, she wanted to do it because she had FOMO if they did it without her, but she's literally having a miserable time.

Kim, like, doesn't, you know, how shy she gets.

She doesn't want to sing and she like runs away and is like, calls babyface and is like, let's do our own song and then I can just like present it to the family and I'll be like totally auto-tuned.

It's like,

so literally not one of you wants to do this.

Why are we doing this?

And why are they doing it?

Whose idea is it?

It's Courtney's idea.

She thinks it's a fun way for the family to spend time together.

They love Christmas.

Chris's song last year like charted and they're going to donate all the money to charity.

But like, why do I need to listen to a Christmas song from a bunch of people who don't want to be singing, who have really bad voices?

Okay, I agree with that, but I do like agree with Courtney that it's a fun thing to do, it's for charity, they love Christmas.

Like, I don't know why everyone wouldn't want to be on board.

They're just like, the way that they're freaking out about having to sing, it's like,

is that normal?

No, like, nobody's putting your gun to your head.

No, and it's like, I have the worst voice, but put me in the studio, bitch.

Put me in, coach.

Like, they were so shy and like literally freaking out.

Like, I can't explain it.

And I was just like, so why are we doing this?

Right.

I don't know.

It was so honestly unnecessary

and bizarre.

And then we had Dream's birthday.

And then also, um, oh, Kim pranked the family saying she was going to be the bachelorette.

Oh, I saw that clip going viral and everyone was like, is this real?

Like, how dumb are you?

Like, how long do you have to be like on the internet to like have awareness as to what's real and what's not?

Like never for one mere moment did I think Kim Kardashian was gonna be the bachelorette when I saw that clip.

They're like, tune in to find out.

And she was like pranking Chris.

And so Chris like immediately calls Robert Mills and is like, right, I heard you're talking to Kim about being the bachelorette.

This is just like not how I see her career going.

And it's like, Kim's career is gone.

Like, it is wherever it's what, it's where she can do whatever she wants.

She has a $4 billion valuation for her company.

She's the most famous woman in the world.

She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

You don't have to worry about like her direction of her career.

So

it's like saying, I I don't know, Bob Iger doesn't know if he wants, if his career is where he wants it to be going.

The thing with the pranks and the Kardashians is like there are like a few that are beyond iconic, of course, like Todd Crane's, Art Vandalay.

But for every Art Vandalay, there's one of these.

Like there's so, there's actually like 10 bad pranks.

It's so true.

Also for every one good one.

The beginning of the episode, Chris and Scott were talking about Mason's Bart Mitzvah.

Oh, I saw that clip too.

Wow, I've literally seen the whole episode from TikTok.

You have.

That I'm really excited for.

It was so cute so far.

He's like studying.

I know with his tutor, he loves the tutor.

I'm obsessed.

I was obsessed with that too.

I also think it was like clearly an intentional conversation, like wanting, and I respect it.

Like there was a lot of conversation at that time in the culture about Kanye and his stance on Jews.

And I think this was a nice reminder.

Like a lot of the Kardashian kids are actually Jewish.

Right.

It was a really good time for there to be a bar mitzvah.

Bar mitzvah.

No, no, not saying that's why they did it, but like, you know, can't we acknowledge?

Also,

I saw a lot of clips.

I guess there was a lot of like

Scott and Chloe, you know, time

this episode.

And really, the more I watch, like, the more certain I am that these two, like, that's how their story ends.

Like, them.

Them.

It ends with them.

There's really no reason that it doesn't end with them.

The whole show.

I get it.

I get it.

It's weird.

No, the e-show plus this show like is just a whole long storyline of like

a love story between Scott and Chloe yeah okay so Mason's dad would also be his uncle like it's fine crazier things have happened especially in that family I know I don't even think it's like that disgusting I don't think so either like Courtney hates him hate with every fiber of her being she didn't post for him on Father's Day

I thought that was so weird did she post for Travis I believe so I remember I remember watching her stories and being like, is she gonna like say something about Scott?

Because he is the father of her children.

And I didn't see anything.

if she posted something later correct me but I did not see anything damn I feel like there's such bad blood they're never sure they're never in one scene together so maybe like a good way to warm up Tim would be you know to see her sister so happy

yeah it's it's a theory oh and then there was like a lit dinner between Scott Chloe and Kim Kim was third meeting I saw that one where they were just like talking to the camera yeah talking about

I really do not need to watch watch this episode.

I've seen everything.

And they were talking about like all the crazy things people like say about them, but it was like things I've never heard.

Like that Kim had a tear in one of her confessionals, they said was a CGI tear.

Oh, I saw that.

It did look CGI.

I guess, but like, that's, okay, that's not what people are talking about.

Like, we're talking about Balenciaga.

Right, and you're not.

I don't know if Balenciaga has happened yet in the show.

I don't think it has because she's wearing it.

Because she literally walks into the piano lesson with the song teacher and puts her Balenciaga bag right on the piano.

Yeah, no, it's definitely before.

Yeah.

And we'll see if they discuss.

I'm not getting the vibe that they're going to.

Me neither, because I think there's only 10 episodes in a season and like we're halfway through.

Oh, yeah.

And

I feel like they would tease it more.

They would tease it if they were talking about it because they know that we want to hear about it.

Yeah.

Darn, darn, darn.

Well, I guess I'm not going to be watching a new episode of The Kardashians because I've pretty much seen it.

So there's that.

Yeah, don't worry about it.

And that's our show.

Yeah.

That's our show.

Hope everyone has an amazing weekend.

We are back on Monday.

So don't miss your garlands too much, but make sure to rate, review, subscribe, you know, so this episode can go number one and beat Smartless.

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