HemRata, Jeese and Zelener: Monday, March 27th, 2023

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Monday.

Sigh, gasp, eek.

It's all right.

It's all right.

You want to know why?

Why, Turdy Lou?

Because we are on our way to Friday.

At least we've, you know, gotten the ball rolling.

We're on our way.

Just like Mason Ramsey taught us.

Yeah.

No, it's a great Monday.

I'm happy to be back with my girl, Claudier.

We didn't really catch up that much this weekend.

So I kind of like want to know what's going on with you.

How's Turdy?

What's new with Turdy?

How's Theo?

Theo's doing well.

Turdy's okay.

What's wrong, Turdy?

Well, Turdy, you know,

had an incident.

Oh, goodness me.

Turdy, you know, has been talking a lot about how she wants to try physical therapy.

And Turdy went.

I went on Friday after the show, and I so wish I went on Thursday just so I could have told the story on the podcast on Friday when it was fresh.

But quite possibly the most humiliating thing happened to me at physical therapy.

Like I haven't recovered since Friday.

I don't know how you could.

Please tell them, Terity, what happened to you?

Well, it just started out where like the physical therapist was like a really handsome guy, which I just feel like is wrong.

Like, I don't, like, it's just, it's.

It's a power imbalance, you know, he was so handsome.

And it just, I felt uncomfortable, to be honest.

And

the most embarrassing thing.

So, I get there, and I'm like, so excited because, like, I really, and he was able to, he asked me like a bunch of questions first, sat me down, and he was really able to diagnose me.

I think I have a slip disc, and it's something that like stretches and you know, weekly sessions for a few weeks really should be able.

It's very common.

So, it had nothing to do with my boobs.

I thought, like, he was like, No, your boobs will really give you like upper back pain.

And I have like lower to middle back pain.

Um, so I felt good.

I was getting diagnosed.

And then he was like, All right, put the gown on

and we'll do some stretches and like this machine.

I was like, I was so excited.

And he said, I was like, wow, a gown.

I wasn't expecting that.

He was like, just leave your bra on.

I was like, damn, okay.

And I was thinking, I'm like, there's no way he didn't also want me to leave my undies on.

Like, I'm not going to be bare vagina on this table.

Like, this is physical therapy, not like a spa.

Even though it's still at the spa, I keep my undies on.

But like, not everyone does, you know?

It is optional.

It's optional.

I was just like, he definitely meant like, just leave your undergarments on, not just my bra.

Yeah, he just probably doesn't know how like women's tings work.

Yeah, yeah.

So I was like, you know what?

I'm going to do something crazy.

I'm going to leave my undies on because there's no way.

They do smell wide.

So I come back.

He comes back in the room and I'm in my gown with my bra and undies.

And he's like, oh, oh, I'm sorry.

You could have left your pants on.

I was like.

But you said just my bra and I guess he meant like we're doing my back So like why would my bottoms be even and I should have like thought that way But I was just listening like I was following the rules and i was like oh i could have left my pants on thank god i didn't take my underwear off

and he was like do you want me to leave so you can put your pants back on i was like please like thank you and the the session went on without a hitch but like my my dignity was just destroyed stripped from you much like your pants and he did a really good job of not making me feel weird but like i'm so like i'm already like a self-aware person um and this was just like my first time meeting and honestly, it was, it was humiliating.

Yeah.

I can't even offer you words of support.

That's like an unburden yourself that like I'm doing here on this Monday.

That we just kind of have to sit with.

I know.

And there's no unning this burden.

Um, I can't even make you feel better because it's such a crazy story.

Stop.

No, I know.

It's so bad.

Like it was humiliating.

Um, And I really, I really did try to not let it like mar my whole experience.

Is that the right word?

Mar?

Yeah.

Because it was so fabulous.

You know, I got a diagnosis, which made me feel so good.

I got a sickening massage and I got stretches and I've been doing them at home every day.

I have to do them today.

I've been really good.

Like I am committed to fixing my back problem.

And it was such a, it was a gorgeous place and it was a wonderful experience, but I am blinded by.

You could leave your pants on.

I felt like a predator.

Yeah, you're like Pee Wee Herman at the movies.

Yeah, it's like, put your pants on.

Oh my God.

It was, it was humiliating.

It was, it was horrible.

And he really, he really was such a nice guy and he didn't make me feel bad.

And then he was like, I hope you like country music because that's what we play.

And I was like, I was like, this is such a great experience.

I wish I didn't ruin it.

Yeah.

But it's okay.

We're going to get through it.

This is part of life.

It's just important for everyone to know, like, before you judge me, like, this is my first time ever doing physical therapy.

I was shocked to even see a gown yeah you've only ever put a gown on like at the doctor where it's a full-body thing like when you see a gown you take your clothes off right because like i really i could have just laid there in my bra and pants no

bra and pants

Like I don't know if I needed a gown.

Whatever.

It was just...

No, but he's like, that's how private he was.

No, that's how courteous this man was.

Such a gentleman.

And instead, we had Turteus taking her pants off.

Yeah, I am going back tomorrow.

And I do think I'm going to say, sir,

you are far too handsome to be my physical therapist.

Give me the ugliest guy you got.

No, because there won't be anyone who can work with you and you're stuck with the guy who you took your pants off for and now you're calling him far too handsome.

I know.

I'm afraid he's a hand.

Predator strikes again.

I feel I'm afraid he's going to hear this.

No, I think I need to go with a lady.

I think I'd.

But you know what?

Like me and me and this guy, like we made really great progress.

Like I am going to stick with it.

And you know what?

I've already on the first day embarrassed myself to the nth degree.

Like, how much could it really be?

History, I think it's fine.

It's fine.

Just stop, like, talking about people's looks and stop taking your clothes off unless expressly directly.

So, you want me to stop being me?

No, taking your clothes off is not a part of it.

No, it was so uncharacteristic.

But I was really, I was like, you know what?

I've never done physical therapy.

This is how they do it.

I'm going to dive in and really give it my all.

And I gave a little too much of my all.

It's okay.

And I was wearing these like ugly under, Like it was just, it was bad.

Do you see your underwear?

Yes.

Full coverage?

I mean, do you know me?

It was a little too full coverage.

It was like a blanket.

That's good.

That's good.

Yeah.

They were like high-waisted black granny panties.

You didn't moon him.

I didn't moon him.

Oh, no.

Imagine if I was wearing like a G-string.

Like, hey, boys.

Yeah.

So that happened to me on Friday and like my whole weekend was just kind of a blur of humiliation.

I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Ben was out of town though, so I really needed to busy myself because if I had just like stewed on that and been alone, it would have been horrible.

So I made myself busy.

I saw my friends.

I had a nice weekend, you know, went out on Friday and Saturday night.

She's a social girl.

She has, she makes social calls.

What did you do?

I went out to dinner.

Yeah, I went to Carbone, your favorite, on Friday.

Just like a low-key dinner, you know.

And then I went out on Saturday to Boom Boom Room, which i haven't been to in forever just you know saw the sights and i got home late oh i fell i fell but you know what it wasn't like an embarrassing fall you know the fall is really what started our entire unburden yourself segment i fell in front of mary kate and ashley actually i don't know which one it was it was just one i think mary kate uh so if you have been here for a while you know that that's what started you know the Monday Unburdening segment.

And I fell again on

Saturday night, but it wasn't humiliating because I was with Taylor and Taylor.

And like, I can't embarrass myself in front of them.

Like, they're family.

Like, I wasn't embarrassed in the slightest.

And this stranger on the street helped me up.

And he was actually really nice.

And I wasn't humiliated.

Like, I can't explain it.

There was nothing about it.

Like, I genuinely fell.

It wasn't like I was so drunk.

Like, I tripped.

I was wearing big shoes.

Like, things happen.

I fell.

I'm a human.

Shoot me.

For sure.

And I'm not worried about you being humiliated or anything.

But like, I'm worried about your health if you keep falling.

Like, you're going to hurt yourself.

I know, but like, do you see the shoes I wear?

I wear the biggest, tallest platforms.

And I'm this tiny tiny little girl who like has no upper body strength i have no strength anywhere like that's why you're doing physical therapy so you're right

for your heels 100 but like i have no core so i don't have like that the core is what keeps you centered yeah my core is jelly yeah

so it's no wonder i'm tripping all over this town Be careful, Turdy Lou.

I know.

And I did, like, I hit the deck.

Like, I went like hands, knees down on the concrete, but I didn't hurt myself or my ego.

Like, I can't explain how some falls are just different.

No, I understand.

I'm not embarrassed for you.

I'm just like, now, like, you're falling a lot.

Yeah, no, I have no center of gravity.

I love to have cocktails and I wear big shoes.

I think that's a recipe for disaster.

Agreed.

And so far, you've been blessed that you haven't, you know, hobbled into the toast on crutches on a Monday morning.

No, on a Monday morning, I'm going to come in with a boot.

It's in my future.

I know it.

I'm so reckless.

I don't like look before I cross the street.

There's curbs.

And we're in the city, bumpity, bumpity.

And I was in the West Village.

Those roads haven't been paved since the early 20s yeah

so i'm merely a victim of circumstance honestly

it's a lot of things yeah including your own choices jesus you're such a teacher sometimes like i don't think teachers go that hard No, they should.

The kids need it.

They should, but like, that's really for the parents to do.

Yeah, no, you're such a parent.

I was actually thinking this morning while I was listening to Luke Combs' new album, which I'm obsessed beyond.

Which is called Getting Older, right?

Yeah.

And it's like a part of this dual album really growing up is the first part and this is getting older there's a song growing up and getting older and for me like growing up was such

an album that really spoke to me and i realized like of these two albums like i am growing up and you are getting older because there's a lot of songs about like parenthood yes um And for the first part of, it feels like Luke wrote the song when he was like thinking about having kids, the first album.

And then the second album was like, once he had the kids, you know?

Yeah.

No, I really, really relate to this album.

There's a couple songs that just speak speak right to my heart.

It's such a good album.

His last album was so good too.

And like, so good.

I still wasn't done listening to it.

But for me, I'm loving this.

I was listening to it all week.

And I actually think I'm going to get in the car today and just sit in the driveway and listen to it some more.

Do you think that you agree with my call that like we are the two sides of this album?

Yes, I do.

Like Luke probably like wrote it with us in mind.

You were, I posted that song, Take Me With You, Take You With Me to My Story because it was like my favorite and most emotional song and then you were like oh my god yeah made me cry not to put you on the spot

it did and then I was thinking like I'm not ashamed of my emotion I was like oh oh what part of this made turdy Lou cry because I'm like I know why I'm crying because we're taking Rold everywhere with us it was for Rold okay because I didn't know if it was like if I was like is she relating to it like as the kid part of it is like you know no I actually didn't relate to that part like when I was a kid I didn't really want to go places with my parents I was like let me go bitch like let me be on my own I'm an adult Yeah.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

I don't really, like, I relate to the parent part of that song where it's like, I just want to take you with me everywhere.

No, that's us.

Like, we're always thinking, like, how can we take Harry with us?

Yeah.

We're not doing anything if we can't take him.

No, yeah.

Like, Harry, like, whatever we plan something, like, Harry coming, like, first of all, it increases the budget, you know?

It increases like the time.

It increases everything.

Yeah.

But we're all constantly like, how can we accommodate?

Yeah.

Like, or, but it's just like, how could we be somewhere without him?

Like, why would it be there?

Is it worth it?

No.

No.

No.

So I'm loving this album.

It's a masterpiece.

And I also listened a lot to Morgan Wallen's new album.

We have a lot of new music.

And we have a new music story, Kelly Clarkson.

So we're just kind of, it's that time of year where everyone's gearing up for summer.

So like the releases are starting because like everybody wants to have like the song or the album of the summer.

And that takes a while.

So this is summer.

Summer.

Summer.

Summer.

Summer.

So it's that time of year where we're getting really good music and we're just, I'm loving it.

Yeah, me too.

I'm a little overwhelmed, but now that I have a car, I have a wonderful vessel in which to listen to all this new music.

So I'm feeling less whelmed.

Less whelmed.

That's good.

I'm glad the Tesla is underwhelming you.

Yeah.

No, it's been good.

Tesla makes it so easy to listen on Spotify.

Except I didn't realize I have to pay for a premium subscription to my Tesla.

It's like $10 a month if I want Spotify right there on my screen.

In addition to other things,

not just for Spotify.

It's like a million things.

Karaoke.

You know, there's car karaoke in the Tesla.

Okay, that does sound like something that should be like an additional bonus, but Spotify is like a basic human right.

I know.

Well, I can listen.

You could listen to the radio.

You could try Sears.

Could you plug in like your phone and then for free?

There's like no plugs.

I don't know how to plug in my phone.

Car is turned.

I also have not been to Florida to see your Tesla.

I am coming this week.

Oh, PSA.

I'm coming to Florida Thursday.

There is no show Friday.

Jackie and I have like a business thing.

Woman tings.

We're going to business women thing.

So there's no show Friday.

Apologies.

and then i haven't made my plans yet but i hope to still be in florida by monday so we could just do the show together together harmoniously uh i'm feeling like it might be acrimoniously why do you feel such a way turdy glue i don't know i'm just feeling like that might be the the vibe sounds like you want it to be the vibe yeah i mean a little drama a little fight never hurt nobody i mean people are always asking it does hurt okay I wanted to share this now that enough time has passed.

People are always asking like, how do you and Jackie do the show?

Like if you're like sisters and you're fighting, like, what is what happens to the show?

And we really, like, don't fight as sisters or as business partners.

But, like, what was it last week?

Maybe it was the week before last

during the show.

Like, Jackie and I, like, maybe, like, we just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

We were, we were just like talking about a story.

It was like the Law Roach story.

And we just started fighting in the story.

Yeah.

No, it was like neither of us would back down from the point.

From the point.

And that we couldn't pivot out of it.

No, and like, I, I definitely ended up being wrong, but like, you would not let it go.

I didn't realize i was being that way like so we fought literally on

show versus impact like impact of course but i was saying i didn't realize i was like harming you you were just like like dog with a bone that's what i had said during the fight and so we literally fought on the show we cut it out obviously and then we continued to do the show and like for the first maybe minute it was weird only if you knew like maybe you would even notice it um but then by the time the show was over like we ended up with such a great show we were so funny

it really really healed us.

We didn't even really talk about it.

We were both like, sorry, move on.

So that's the only, like, honestly, memory I can think of in the last maybe three years where people have asked, like, what if you and Jackie fight?

And I don't have a point of reference.

Now I do.

Yeah, we just got like stuck in the mud on that.

That's exactly what it was.

We were just like digging on this stupid fucking story.

We got stuck.

We got stuck.

It happens to the best creatives.

But then the toast healed us.

As the toast does.

Because by the end of the show, I mean, I think I speak for both of us.

Like, I didn't even care anymore.

Like, it was like, whatever.

The show, that was over.

The show was great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it was like, it wasn't a fight worth continuing.

It's not like either one of us felt so hurt we needed to talk about it.

No, no.

No.

And now we can talk about it.

And now we've said it.

And now we have.

So that's a little toast fun fact for you.

A little BTS.

Yeah.

It was an acrimonious day.

T'was.

That turned harmonious.

Harmonious.

Because the toast is a harmonizing brand.

Just like me when I I listen to Luke Hombs.

Not true, but sure.

Turdy, just wait till you're in the car with me.

Like, I'm hitting these notes.

Luke is crying.

Jackie is singing, because Luke Combs has a low voice and you have a high voice.

Jackie is singing the same note, but in a higher octave, and she thinks that is a harmony.

Luke and I harmonized.

I'm not getting into this again.

I'm not getting into this again.

No, like we were driving all weekend listening to Luke Hombs.

And like, I was in the...

I actually drove a lot this weekend considering Zach was in the car with me.

There was only one outing where he drove.

And like your girl girl was just like hitting these notes, harmonizing.

Let me, let me ask you a question.

When you and Zach are going out somewhere together, do you take your mom car, you know, your Harry Safe Kia, or do you take your Tesla?

So they're both mom cars, really.

Yeah, but like one of them is an SUV.

No, no, no, they both are.

They're the same size.

So it's like we kind of need to switch one of them, which isn't going to happen.

You need to get like a convertible.

Or a one car that's really big.

Cause kind of both of ours are like, if we have guests or something, it's a little small for mid-size.

yeah so

does your back row of tesla have captain seats or three seats three so that's and then is there a backback row no okay but zach's has captain seats and a backback row so right they're both kind of can see the same amount of people just depends on the vibe No, that other car, Zach's car, is like the mom's SUV.

Not the way Zach.

Zach is like, that's his mobile office.

He's got literally like desktop computers in there.

He has a folding table in there.

He has a fridge.

He's literally, he could live out of the car.

Yeah.

No, you'll first of all, I think you have the wrong impression of Tesla.

That is

a

car.

When we went in Lauren Elizabeth's Tesla in LA, is it the same one?

I don't remember what kind she had.

Okay.

I have to see it.

Yeah.

And I can't wait to drive it.

I know.

You have to see it.

I'm excited for you to drive it.

But most of the time when we, in the last few weeks, like when we're doing a family outing, we take the Tesla just because it's more fun.

But Zach will drive it sometimes too.

But yesterday we took the Kia.

We needed the extra seat um just depends really got it yeah Bryce is comfortable in both vehicles he makes himself at home low-key like having a baby's like low-key annoying with the cars like that car seat is fucking huge yeah and then in one like nobody wants to sit in the middle seat next to the car seat the car seats like on your lap for sure but you get to like play with hat of course

of course of course but then there's also like the car seat um

what's it called the in if you if it's your permanent car you install like a car seat base.

Right.

And that way the car seat just clicks in.

It's great.

But then that makes that seat unusable even when there's no baby.

Forever.

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

Like, oh, these kids.

My God, they just need to learn how to drive already.

No, no, no.

Get their own car.

That's my job.

Oh, that's true.

You did just learn how to drive.

Yeah.

So it's been a fun adventure.

That's great.

And you know what else is great?

The wealth of stories we have.

I mean, after the show on Friday, you know, Rhys Witherspoon, Strategic Strategic Queen dropping in on Friday afternoon, like divorce, then there was Selena's new man.

Like actually a lot came out.

We have a lot to discuss.

We do.

And I'm ready.

We should.

And we could.

Yeah.

We will.

I think we will, yeah.

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Thank you, Claudia.

Yeah, welcome.

Our first story, the story that's on everybody's lips is that Harry Stiles and Emrata were on each other's lips this weekend.

They were spotted making out in Tokyo, hot and heavy, and

Everyone is really, really shook about it.

So he's in Tokyo for his love on tour tour.

Yep, He was doing, he's all over Asia.

He's everywhere.

Who knows what brings her there?

She just happened to be there too.

It looked like they were at some sort of small gathering of friends.

Yeah.

And it looked like someone else at the party was the one who took the video.

Like, this is not paparazzi.

Yeah, it was definitely boots on the ground.

It was boots on the ground.

And it was, you know, it was a passionate makeout.

Yeah, we are now getting all different angles, videos, photos.

They were definitely making out.

There's no, you know, way around that.

It was definitely them and they were definitely making out.

And people are shook.

I mean, I think whenever Harry is tied to a new person, people are automatically going to hate it because so many of his fans feel so territorial, and everybody feels like it should be them.

And I totally relate to that sentiment.

Here are my thoughts.

I thought she was dating that guy, Eric Andre, because literally a month ago on Valentine's Day, they were naked on Instagram together.

So I'm just confused about that.

Two,

you know, one thing about me is

how do I put this delicately?

I'm not like an Emrata Super fan.

I feel like every time we talk about her,

every time we talk about her, like I say that, like, I feel like her brand, which is very like sexy feminist, is so like not my vibe whatsoever.

So I acknowledge that I'm definitely biased.

So therefore, I'm not here for this pairing.

I also feel like it's a little soon.

You know, Harry just got out of a really long-term, like, it was a long relationship, that Olivia thing.

Like, it's a little soon.

Yeah, I mean, a little soon for a makeout?

No.

Yeah.

So

I

am not, that's not who I would choose for him, knowing that he is, you know, like the second most eligible bachelor after Jason Sudakis.

Sudakis?

But I kind of ship.

I think like they're so both eligible.

They're so good looking.

They're so single.

Why not?

They're pretty similar in age.

You know, it's definitely in a more age-appropriate relationship than last time.

And this one is like a little bit more obvious.

With Olivia Wilde, I think we were all like, what?

But I also don't think that they're going to start dating.

I think maybe the fact that these these videos went viral will make them like go out again.

But they were just making out like, I don't think they're together.

Emerada has been like bopping around dating.

She's single.

She's with Eric Andre.

She was with Stevenson.

She was rumored to be with Brad Pitt.

Like I think she's just seeing what's out there.

And fortunately for us, this was caught on camera, but we were never meant to know about this.

Very true as well.

Even though it does make me feel like it's a little more serious if she's in Tokyo.

Like, why would she be there if not for him?

It's not like she's filming a big movie in Tokyo.

I feel like celebrities to like fly someone out to your show to the hookup is like not a good deal.

For sure.

Tokyo?

No, I know.

It's not, you know, North Carolina.

It's Tokyo.

That's what, like a 19-hour flight.

Yeah, that's a commitment.

That's not a flying out just to see.

That's not.

No, maybe she was in a neighboring country.

And they landed.

Maybe.

She's literally Sean Mendez.

I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan.

I'm just thinking, what's that song?

There's a song about this.

It's such a good song.

Yeah, like Lost in Japan.

You got planned.

I just said that.

I got a couple hundred miles from Japan.

From Japan, and I.

Oh, my God.

We'll be looking for someone to hold your hand tonight.

This is them.

Good song.

Literally.

That could be what happened.

That's very true.

I don't know.

For me,

and I feel like I say this every time.

Like, it's always like, who's Pete Davidson going to date next?

And we were like, you know, guessing, and then it was Emrata.

It's so obvious.

Like, I don't know.

I like what it's obvious, though, sometimes.

I don't know.

I just wish Harry would like surprise me, you know, date someone ugly, date someone chubby.

Okay, but he was couldn't have been more surprising with Olivia Wilde and you weren't happy about that.

Yeah, maybe I'm just like a woman hater.

That's kind of what I'm feeling.

I feel like you're feeling the way a lot of fans are feeling, which is like, it's never going to be good enough unless it's you.

Like the way you just said, like, someone

chubby, yeah,

someone who's a podcaster.

Like, I feel like unless it's you,

you're not going to be happy.

But, like, let me really say, like, with my full body, how like I'm really not interested.

Not that anyone's asking.

I'm like not interested in dating Harry Styles.

Like, first of all, like, I am happily married, lest we forget.

Yeah, right.

To like Germaine to the convo.

Like, I'm not available.

Like, I'm really not available.

No.

And

to be honest, like.

Yeah, Harry Stowes is so handsome.

Like, if I could choose any celebrity to like hypothetically fuck, like, he wouldn't even be in my top 10.

No, I know.

And I don't think it's that like in practice, all these fans like really want Harry to show up on their door and ask him out, though a lot of them do.

I think it's more like this just territorialness where like this possession.

Yeah, it's like you're always going to have this block up about who he dates because like this piece of you is just jealous.

Doesn't mean that you're seriously hoping that you become

his next girlfriend, but like you just can't be happy for him.

Yeah.

And you can't see him with someone else.

Although, like, I do really like, there are parts of me, like, all of me, actually, like, I ship him and Kendall.

Like, I think they're perfect for each other.

Like, I don't think I would be feeling that way this way if Kendall was the girl in Tokyo.

Yeah,

they are literally so similar.

I know.

Which is why it's just like this block that you have.

You know, I'm not saying anything I say, like, makes sense.

No, no.

Because really on its face, like, these are two

very

suited people who are suited for one another.

It's also just so crazy to think how like Emily Radikowski for most like the entirety of her fame has been tied down.

You know, she's been married for so long.

And so imagine if she wasn't like how many you know eligible men she could have dated.

Like that's commitment.

I think she's making up for lost time.

Yes, she definitely is.

So

I just want to go on the record that I am here for this couple.

I don't think it'll turn serious, but if it were to, like, I'd kind of love that.

Like photos of them being styling styling and walking in the streets like

wait by the way i totally forgot before the show we were talking about stories um do we have a story about gwyneth paltrows trial no we don't i know she's going viral though she is like let's just talk about it for two seconds because i have so many thoughts you don't have to add it as a story just like a separate anecdote Obviously, this clip went viral of the opposing counsel asking her about Taylor Swift because Taylor Swift really kind of invented the whole thing of counter-suing for a dollar where it's like you're making a point.

It's not about money.

It's about justice.

And then she was asked, do you know Taylor Swift?

Are you friends with Taylor Swift?

It was so irrelevant.

And it really, I know we're all like joking about this.

It's such a gross misuse of our justice system.

It's an abuse of people's time.

This whole thing is a circus.

It's a farce.

And like everyone is sitting there, like everyone online is like, you know, Gwyneth Palchow, because she's been sitting there getting cross-examined like with a smile on her face because this is so stupid.

She didn't do anything wrong.

And everyone's like, not Gwyneth Palchow being so patronizing.

Really?

I would be too.

Like this whole trial is a farce.

It's a circus.

And like, yeah, it's funny in the pop culture.

Haha.

Like, at the end of the day, like, this is

an abuse of the judicial system.

It's abuse of the judge's time, the jury's time.

Like, this is so stupid.

It's not fucking real.

Literally nothing happened.

And it's moronic.

Moronic.

But I mean, how can you say that with certainty that nothing happened, that she did not do this?

Because look at what the counsel is spending their time on.

Do you know Taylor Swift?

Are you friends with Taylor Swift?

When was the last time you spoke to Taylor Swift?

How do this happen every day, like where people sue for nonsense?

I know, but we're all like eating it up.

And I feel like it's really highlighting like how this is, we're such a, what's the word I'm looking for?

With an L.

Litigious.

Litigious country, you know, everyone just sees everything that happens to them as an opportunity to sue.

Yeah, well, that's for sure.

But I do think it's part of, you know,

being an American is having the right to sue someone if you have been wrong, but also having the right to defend yourself and like letting it play out.

If Gwyneth is being wronged in this situation, like the justice system will prevail in her favor.

And for this guy, like if he really was

attacked by Gwyneth,

then

he'll have his justice too.

Like that's really what the judicial system is for.

I know it's like a waste of everyone's time, but that is what, like in any case, like, there's someone who's blatantly wrong and blatantly right, but we have to sit there and we have to talk about it and get to the bottom.

I really hope, like, nobody's buying what this, you know, victim quote is saying.

I'm so, and yes, I'm definitely biased.

I love Gwyneth.

Yeah.

Um, but like, I don't know how anyone could, like, watch this trial and be like, yeah, like, justice for this guy.

Like, well, what I'm seeing is.

And his daughter's on the stand, like, making jokes, like, literally auditioning for SNL.

Like, it's moronic.

Yikes.

What I'm seeing, though, no, people, this quote of Gwyneth's has been going viral because the prosecutor asked,

like, did you suffer at all?

I want to get the exact quote.

Like, did you suffer from this incident?

Like, I know you had planned like an expensive trip in Park City.

Right.

What was the exact question?

She was asked about the losses that she had suffered from the crash.

And Gwyneth said, well, we lost half a day of skiing.

So yes,

because it was so insignificant.

Like, people are like mocking her over her response, though.

Like, you know, any slight inconvenience to your life.

Well, we lost half a day of skiing.

No, because that's how minimal this whole situation was.

Like, nothing happened.

You know?

Yeah, actually, I saw a quote from Gwyneth that from her point of view, like the man came from behind her.

He collided into her and his two skis went between between her skis.

So it like, uh, her legs,

like her legs spread.

And thank God she's so flexible.

I know, but she said she, at first, she thought it was like a sexual assault.

You know what I mean?

Cause if you don't know what's happening and all of a sudden somebody's coming from behind and forcing your legs apart, like that's pretty scary.

Yeah.

I just, it's so dumb.

And she's handling herself with the utmost grace because I could never.

But that's, you know, that's what the courts are for.

And yes, people take advantage.

Yeah.

But But it's also for the courts to,

you know, instill that people don't take advantage.

And it could, Gwyneth could have counter-sued for $300,000 too.

You know what I mean?

Right, right.

No, and she also, but she wouldn't have tried to punish him.

She's just trying to clear her name.

Clear her name.

It would have been easier for her because the judge kept it at $300,000 to just pay it and not, she's spending more on legal fees, honestly.

Yeah, but your name is your name, Turdy Lou.

Right, right.

So she has to go through this circus just to clear her name.

Yes, but having the opportunity opportunity to clear your name is what makes this country great.

I agree.

So you just got to trust the process, Turdy Louis, even though I know it can be

your favorite thing to do.

100%.

Are you ready for our next?

Okay, so overall, let's move on from Harry and Emrata.

Overall,

it's fine.

It's not like the most original creative idea.

It's fine.

At least it's age-appropriate.

Yeah, I think it's a little cute.

Just a little cute.

Oh,

I'm so not where you are.

It's just like, you know, they're so good looking.

What's bad?

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes, definitely.

One ship builds, another crumbles.

Reese Witherspoon and

another sinks.

Reese Witherspoon and her ex-husband, husband, Jim Toth, are divorcing after 12 years of marriage.

Rhys and her husband are calling it quits.

The star announced the difficult news on her Instagram on Friday.

She said, we have some personal news to share.

It is with a great deal of care and consideration that we have made the difficult decision to divorce.

The actress detailed that despite their split, they have enjoyed so many wonderful years together and are moving forward with deep love, kindness, and mutual respect for everything they've created together.

Their biggest priority is their 10-year-old son, Tennessee, as well as their entire family as they navigate this next chapter.

That's a nice name.

Yeah.

You know why this is tough?

Because it's a celebrity businessman Bo relationship that didn't stand the test of time.

I mean, and it was a successful relationship.

They got married.

They were together for 12 years, which in Hollywood is very long.

So I wouldn't consider this a failure, but it's always tough to see, you know, the businessman Bo, celeb, starlet, duo go down.

Agreed, though, I don't think that this is a knock in the businessman Bo category because

when I think of a businessman Bo, I want someone who's out of the industry.

Like he's a businessman Bo, he's an agent.

He's still in Hollywood.

And to me, that's, it's, yes, he's in the business of Hollywood.

It's better than dating a fellow fellow actor, but still not what I would have chosen.

So I don't feel responsible for this.

I don't feel responsible either.

And I find,

I think, you know, the proceedings, she's so rich now.

And they built that company, Hello Sunshine, that was just valued at a billion dollars.

They built it during, she built it during the marriage.

I have to assume he was a part of it.

He's a businessman and they were married.

So I wonder what this means.

Yeah, but it's not like when they got married, she was like somebody, nobody with no success.

Like, I'm sure everything is extremely tied up and spelled out.

Yeah.

One of my favorite things about Rhys Witherspoon is the way she's just kind of navigated, uh, maintaining her status as America's sweetheart.

And nobody seems to remember that video when she got pulled over.

I think she was drunk driving and she was like screaming at the cop, like, Do you know who I am?

I'm America's sweetheart.

That's one of my favorite moments in pop culture history.

And I love that nobody talks about it because she's a queen and she's totally evolved past it.

Um, and she like built this sickening business, and she really is.

Like, her with her, it's like the cream rises.

She's so talented.

You know, a million star, let's try and star business, start businesses.

Not all of them become billion dollar companies backed by BlackRock, you know?

Yeah.

And she's really just done something so unique like with the books.

Like she's really well I think she just kills it.

I think it followed a really natural progression and that's always how the best things happen.

And now so many people

try to emulate Hello Sunshine.

But I think when she started a book club, like she just really liked to read.

And then she read so many great books that she was like, I'd really like to see this as a movie.

And then she's like, hey, I'm a movie person.

Why can't, why not me?

And, you know, that's how the best things happen.

It's when you're trying so hard to do something, like, shooting it in.

That's when it's bogus.

Yeah.

So she'll still be rich, of course.

I just do wonder, you know, and celebs, they're all tight-knit.

You know, they get their prenups, post-nups, they do all that.

But California, where a lot of people get married, is a community property state.

That means, you know, half to everyone.

Yeah.

Well, I hope that they can settle things nicely.

Harmoniously.

and not acrimoniously no no

um and also you know she's now on the market

add her to our list like who do we see reese witherspoon with i mean part of me you know always will stand her and ryan phillippy i think you know that was just it was a moment in time but they have two children together you know they're both so good looking would it hurt to try again i don't know i don't know i don't get good vibes from the two of them i do feel like they were definitely like young and it was fast and they were you know hot and heavy until they weren't.

Do you think she'll go like older or younger?

This might be the time in her life where she goes younger.

I mean, she literally could have the experience that she played in Nancy Myers' daughter's film Home Again, where she dates a 12-year-old.

But I don't like that for her.

No, I think, I think Rhys is like really confident in her, in her, you know,

age and her maturity.

And I think she'll want someone who validates that, like someone on her level.

I really, I don't see her dating someone younger.

I really don't.

But I feel like her being with Jim was like making that choice, you know, like

she started, like she was going into the business world more, like she's really in a serious relationship.

Like I think whatever she does next will be divergent from that.

Not saying she's going to go younger, but she, I don't know that

that it's going to go.

That's interesting.

It's interesting.

You know, you always like then just choose the opposite of what you've had.

Right.

Just as like a knee-jerk relationship.

Might be with like a backup dancer after this.

Right.

Very Casper smart.

Yeah.

No, that's a good point.

It's also just hard when you're such a powerful woman.

A lot of people can't handle that.

Right, but that's why I think a lot of powerful women for a number of reasons, but one of them being this, they go younger because young guys, they're not in competition with you.

Like, so true.

And there's already like a college.

Right.

There's already a power imbalance because of the age.

Yeah.

Like, so what's a little, you know, what's a couple billion?

It's not competitive whatsoever.

Such a good point.

So there it is makes you think and because they can

right no and it's fun like who no offense who wants a saggy ball sack when you can have a fresh one like i get it

i get it yeah isn't that why you go younger you know perky tits versus saggy tits perky balls versus saggy balls like i guess um a few reasons but yes aesthetics yes Right, like conventionally, saggy balls are not as appetizing as perky balls.

Thank you.

Thank Thank you for continuing to say saggy balls.

Who wants a wrinkly scrotum when you could have a, you know, a big fleshy one?

I get it.

I'm a human too.

I get it.

Scrotum.

I get it.

Yeah.

But I think also after 12 years of marriage with a businessman who's like, you know, probably smart and has opinions, it's like, I don't want you to challenge me anymore.

Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, no, I don't need to be able to be able to be able to

beautiful.

I just need someone beautiful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I wouldn't be shocked either if that's kind of like a rebound relationship for her, just to feel something different.

I get it.

Yeah.

But,

you know, they were kind of a staple in the industry.

So for sure.

And they were very like low-key to the point where you almost forgot she was married.

Yeah.

But like then all these articles are coming out that this was like, you know, no surprise to Hollywood insiders.

They've been living separately.

Well, why haven't they told off?

They've been living separate lives for a while.

Right.

Everyone loves to be like, oh, I knew.

Yeah, totally.

It's everyone's favorite thing.

I called it.

Yeah.

Like, no, I've literally literally known this for years.

Insiders knew.

Like, shut up.

Shut up.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

But it appears as though you're not.

Now I am.

Some new relationship news potentially.

Oh, this is weird.

Selena Gomez and Zane Malik spark romance rumors after alleged New York City dinner date.

Selena and Zane sparked relationship rumors after the two singers were allegedly spotted on what appeared to be a romantic date night in New York City.

A hostess at a celebrity-loved Manhattan restaurant witnessed Selena and Zane locking lips while grabbing dinner together on Thursday night.

Clarissa Garcia claimed in a TikTok video that has since gone viral.

She told page six.

Clarissa Garcia is definitely also fired come Monday morning.

Yeah, but I feel like, I mean, now she's in page six.

Her TikTok went viral.

Probably not worth losing your job, but it's worth a shot, you know?

It like isn't worth a shot because people who like make videos like this, They definitely have a moment.

It's a flash in the pan.

They don't really start careers on on as digital influencers after this like yeah, it's the one video nobody's oh, let me follow that girl who one time saw something, you know?

Yeah, but maybe if she has something this could have just been like a little boost and now she has you know her big thing and we're all gonna be able to see it.

I don't know.

She could have just sent it to Dumois, but actually, I probably wouldn't have believed it.

She said no one noticed them except for the hostess.

It was pretty public, but no one really cares about famous people in New York.

Did they say what restaurant?

They did not.

That's also not true.

Say what restaurant.

And that is not true.

I totally agree.

Not true.

They didn't say the restaurant.

They blurted out.

They walked in hand in hand, making out, and she seated them.

I don't know.

This is like one girl's account.

And she also said like nobody cared.

And I'm just telling you, if Selena Gomez is insane Malik walked into a restaurant, no matter how cool it was, people care.

Also, like Pixert didn't happen.

Yeah.

Okay, so but let's, let's play.

Let's assume that this is.

They went to dinner.

Do you want to see them making out at face value too?

Sure.

Let's say they're dating.

Let's just say, I can't help but wonder what this means for Taylor Swift.

Like, that's really where my.

That's what you said.

Please explain why you're.

Well, Taylor Swift's best friends in this world for many years.

These aren't like fake celebrity friendships.

Like, they're real.

Selena Gomez and Gigi Adid.

Gig Adid is obviously, you know, very tightly linked to Zane Malik.

They have a child together.

What does that mean for Taylor Swift, you know?

But also, you know, that also means that Selena has like some inside scoop from Taylor about Gigi and Zayn.

And like, let's me not forget Zayn like smacked Yolanda Hadid and threw her down the stairs with the elder abuse.

Like, I can't imagine hearing that firsthand and then being like, yeah, that's someone I want to do.

Yeah, like let me bring my gran to go meet my new boyfriend so he could you know give her a give her the old one too.

Yeah, I just I feel like we don't talk enough about how Zayn Malik was accused of elder abuse.

Like, no, no, no.

He was accused.

And the thing to me is like shortly thereafter, like, him and JG broke up for good.

They have not been like spotted.

There's no going back.

Like,

it's true.

Yeah.

It's true.

It has to be.

And Yolam.

That was a wild claim.

It's not like so-and-so said.

Like, Yolam just said.

There were papers.

Yeah.

That's why we know about it.

Yeah.

And then like Gigi did not go back.

Like, it's true.

Yeah.

I'm in agreement.

Um,

so yes, not really like what you want to hear about a potential boyfriend.

I feel like Taylor's.

And I'm sure Selena has even more details about it from Taylor.

Yeah, I feel like Taylor has always towed the line about a few of her friendships conflict a little bit.

Yeah.

You know, because Gigi's such good friends with Kendall and she's such good friends with Taylor.

And obviously there's bad blood.

Oh, yeah.

Cringe.

And

she's done a good job.

I feel like even when she hangs out with Gigi or Selena, they don't hang out together.

So

she'll toe the line.

She'll be fine.

Plus, she's busy and is probably not paying attention to all of this.

And I also

don't believe it.

That I feel is her saving grace.

Like she doesn't have the responsibility to like, you know, Gigi or Selena right now because she has a responsibility to her millions of fans.

Like she's out here doing the most three-hour shows, you know, twice a week.

Yeah.

She can't be bothered.

She's traveling.

She can't be bothered to be bogged down with petty gossip.

By the time her tour is over, we won't even remember that this was a story.

Yeah, so true.

Great call.

And you don't believe it?

Not at not at face value.

No.

You know, I just need a little bit more than one person's account.

No, and like maybe they walked into a restaurant together.

I don't think they were making out.

I don't think that they were making out and nobody cared and nobody took a picture and nobody saw them.

Again, just like with my chain smokers call, like, I think they might have been working on something.

Like maybe she's working on something with a lot of different people, has an album coming out.

Like they got dinner after studio time.

I don't think so.

I wanted to tell you.

Um, last week, I forget where I was, but I met a toaster who was just delightful.

And she was like, By the way, I was at the bowling alley next to Drew and Selena.

Like, I was the one who took those photos that went viral, and they were making out the whole time.

They were.

They were.

And she was like, It was like the craziest thing that ever happened to me.

I was like, oh my God, yes, Queen.

And she didn't have a photo of them making out.

She did.

And it didn't make it to the airwaves.

I don't know why it didn't make it to the airwaves.

You see the photo.

I

did not.

You have to question everybody.

But I do.

No, I know, but I don't think a toaster would lie to me, like for real.

No, I don't think so either.

But like, that's an account I believe, you know?

But I don't know this girl.

But now I know the Selena, the Drew witness.

I don't know this witness.

I don't know Turdy Lou.

And

didn't happen, literally.

You want to know why?

You want to know why I feel like these two situations are different?

Because when the Drew and Selena thing happened, the person who took the photos didn't like try to get famous off of it.

They just like put the photos out and like TMZ got them.

Like the whole story being centered around one woman makes me feel like it's very possible this is like a stunt.

Or, you know, like, because now we're all talking about Clarissa or whatever her name was.

Yeah.

That makes me a little suspicious.

Well, Clarissa got, is not the hostess.

Sorry.

Clarissa's friend is the hostess and texted Clarissa.

So now we're two degrees.

But that's even more broke.

It's telephone.

It's a, yeah.

And the text messages from Clarissa go, are you ready for, nope, from hostess, go, are you ready for this?

I'm screaming.

Clarissa, what?

I'm scared.

What happened?

Hostess, tell me how Selena Gomez and Zane just walked into restaurant that's blurred out, hand in hand, making out, and I seated them.

Clarissa, ha.

Shut the fuck up.

Hostess, girl, everyone's out here feeling bad for Selena.

Meanwhile, she's with Gigi's baby Zaddy.

Okay, so now I didn't realize that.

That is another layer of so this Clarissa doesn't even work at the restaurant.

Hostess just said whatever she wanted, and she gets to keep her job.

Right, unless somebody at the restaurant can make, you know, the connection between Clarissa and potential hostess.

But they can't because this didn't happen.

So every big restaurant is like, we're Gigi and where's Zane and Selena here?

Not us, not us.

Every hostess is safe.

Not Clarissa sending every VIP restaurant in this town into a tizzy.

Yeah.

But there's nothing, I don't think this is true.

Interesting.

Okay, well, I need to wait and see if the more stuff happens.

Yeah,

same.

I'm going to need more than Clarissa's text messages.

Yeah.

Agreed.

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Next story.

Kelly Clarkson's divorce album is forthcoming.

It will cover the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Kelly announced on Sunday that she is coming out with a new album called Chemistry.

The talk show host explained in an Instagram video that she came up with the title after her acrimonious divorce from her ex-husband, Brandon Blackstock.

I feel like we are so like on the cutting edge and like really have made the word acrimonious, like have this revolution.

Yeah.

This renaissance.

We love to do that for words.

Acrimonious, wench, nefarious.

True.

The list goes on.

I was trying.

I'll start a list on my phone.

She said, I was trying to find a word that really described the whole thing because I didn't want everybody to think I was just coming out with some just like, I'm angry, I'm sad, like just one or two emotions, you know.

This album is definitely the arc of an entire relationship and a whole relationship shouldn't be just brought down to one thing.

So there's, you know, the good, the bad, and the ugly kind of thing going on in it.

She said, chemistry can be really amazing, a sexy, cool, fun thing, but it can also be very bad for you.

So she thought it would be the perfect title for the all-encompassing record.

I mean, respectful queen.

This man has literally, you know, robbed her blind, tried to strip her of everything, and she still remains like such a peaceful, respectful co-parent.

Even in the music, she's not making a divorce album.

It's really...

probably will be more of like a tragedy.

Yeah, well, I think one, like he's the father of her children.

And so you just want to be respectful because they will be hearing this one day.

But two, I think there's a lot of truth in the statement that it's not just like angry, sad, bad.

Like it's a whole range of emotions.

You know, it's grief and it's loss.

And it's, you know, I'm sure some of it is extremely bitter, sweet.

And even when you're fighting with someone, I know he like, you know, squatted in the Montana house and there was all this drama.

But like you loved this person once.

They were married for.

10 years since 2013.

Yeah.

So almost 10 years.

Like there's a lot of history there.

And I think that it is reductive to just be angry.

And that's not true to the human experience.

No, it's a very mature taste.

She's a mature queen.

So why would you expect anything less?

Like she's not putting out a diss track, a diss sound track.

What do we think?

Like there's obviously going to be like a lead single called Chemistry.

So what do we think the song Chemistry is going to be like sound like?

It's going to be like, you know, Kelly's iconic sound.

Hop.

But the lyrics are going to be kind of country where they kind of switch up at the end, like all these good things about chemistry.

But then it was like the chemistry that undid them.

But like, give me a melody.

Oh.

This is really your specialty.

You do the music.

Chemistry is like a heart.

You do the music.

I'll do the lyrics.

You're literally Drew Barrymore.

I am Hugh Carrington.

100%.

Chemistry.

Chemistry.

You don't think it's going to be...

Chemistry.

I think it's gonna be upbeat, where it like builds and builds and builds.

And like the chorus is like upbeat and fun, and then it ends with like a zinger line where it's like,

but you on the bus.

Like the music cuts.

Yeah, like, yeah.

Yeah, like, we, like.

I don't even want to go there, but I can hear it in my head.

What's the song I made up for Selena?

How did it go?

Oh, my God.

I could have better than a fat now myself.

I'm not alone too much to dance with your heart.

Yeah, but when I lonely, I lonely.

I get lonely in the dark.

So good.

So I think it's going to be pop anthem, but then it's like a one-to-punch.

You know what I'm excited about?

I feel like our generation and like the culture has an entirely new respect for Kelly Clarkson in the last few years.

I feel like her brand has like really taken off with the show and

her karaoke cover is her Kellyoke.

I feel like there's a whole new audience of people who are looking forward to this.

And so I feel like in the past, a lot of the music she released has gone underappreciated.

I really feel that way.

And I think it's disgusting.

And I think like that this is going to be really big for her.

She's partnering, not partnering, she's pairing this with her Vegas residency, which was right when COVID started.

We had tickets.

She had to cancel it, obviously.

And now they are rescheduled for this summer.

Yes.

I saw that too.

She has a 10-date vegas residency in the works so that's really exciting i don't think i'll be able to make it um

so i'm just like kind of devastated about that but i'm hoping that she will do a chemistry tour

and bring it on down here to me uh but this is her first traditional album since 2017 like the fans are ready it's been six years and i've never pressured kelly into releasing new music no because she's really been killing it in all other aspects of her career i'm like honestly i don't don't want this album for a few months because like I've got Luke Combs, I've got Morgan Wallen, I've got Mimi Webb.

Like I'm booked in busy Kelly right now.

She said it's coming sooner than y'all think.

But she didn't drop a date, which for me feels like it'll be at least May.

Yeah.

I need time for sure.

Yeah.

Her also her titling at Chemistry like was giving me like Ed Sheeran vibes now that we broke down his.

Oh, another subject in school.

Another subject in school because we don't know where he goes from here.

He's done all the math symbols.

He had said

in an interview recently, he was asked, he says he has another, you know, symbolic.

You know what he could do?

He could do the exponent sign, you know, the little carrot top.

Yeah.

I don't know what he would call it, but something about like multiple of

exponential.

That's a good title.

PEMDAS is better.

PEMDAS tour.

Yeah.

He's on the he's going on the PEMDAS tour.

I know.

Let me just tell you how never once in my life have I successfully used PEMDAS in an equation, like equation that had parentheses, exponent, multiply.

That shit doesn't work.

Like you cannot convince me that it does.

No, it does.

PEMDAS doesn't work.

It does.

It's a faulty equation.

It's a faulty.

It's an acronym for a reason.

It's a lie.

I think you've just been burned.

By PEMDAS, definitely.

I think you have some trust issues and you have walls up.

I definitely.

I'm like on an episode of The Bachelor.

Like, I have walls up.

You know what you have up?

You have parentheses up.

To your left and to your right.

Everywhere I look, I'm just kind of being closed in on.

That's so turdy.

That's so turdy.

It's the PEM dust she can't solve.

That's so turdy.

It's so mysterious too.

That's so turdy.

It's the flashlight she can't see.

That's oh turdy.

Where are her beans?

Yeah.

That's so turdy.

It's the flashlight she can't see.

That's so turdy.

Blame Ben's softer celebrity.

Ooh, that's really good.

How is BSC?

BSC is doing well.

BSC is home.

The celebrity has returned.

Thank God.

And he made it out of the country.

They let him back in.

Yeah, of course.

Ben was able to find someone somewhere in New York to get his passport to.

They were flying to Miami.

Ben was flying through Miami to the Bahamas.

Ben waited for them in the airport, got his passport, and flew out to the Bahamas.

That's insane.

That's Ben's offer a celebrity.

Yeah, I guess people will really do anything for you when you're a celebrity.

Thus, he got his passport.

So was the lesson learned?

Of course not.

Fuck.

I know.

I'm glad he's home and back with his turd, though.

Me too.

Theo really missed him.

We know you missed him too.

Oh, desperately.

So sweet.

Hate being alone.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is some more iconic singing female news?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Adele has extended her Las Vegas residency and is planning a concert film.

Adele announced Sunday that she's extending her Las Vegas residency with 34 more dates between June and November and also plans to release a concert film.

Saturday Night's Show was the last performance in her original Weekends with Adele series that covered 34 dates since last November on the strip.

Her representatives said Adele's show will resume at the

Coliseum at Caesars Palace on June 16th

and run through November 4th.

The June performances will be recorded and released as a concert special.

I mean, I don't know why she wouldn't continue.

When I was at the show, she literally said, I love doing this.

Like, I literally get to be in Vegas for a day and a half.

I get to be at home in L.A.

for the rest of the week, be with my kids.

My kids love coming to Vegas.

Kids, sorry.

It's a dream job.

She's probably getting paid out the ass.

Like this has probably been one of the most successful residencies for what hotel was?

Caesars.

Caesars.

And it's a real Caesars Palace.

Right.

Since Celine Dion.

Like this is,

this is huge.

I mean, Celine Dion's was bigger, of course, but I can't imagine one negative thing for anyone who was involved in this.

Like everyone's making money.

Everyone's happy.

So many videos have come out.

Like, Adele goes viral every week for something she does.

It's so good for her brand.

And it's good for her.

She's a bench.

I don't know why she would stop.

And she said, when I was there, she's like, I really don't like touring.

It's not something I'm comfortable with.

Like, I did it once and it was hard.

Like, it's a lot of time away from home.

It's a lot of travel.

She's not built for that.

So to take a 45-minute flight once a week.

Yeah.

And it's like

everybody can come to me.

And everybody does come.

I mean, Kim went, everyone goes, but I'm bringing you a trip.

I'm trying to go.

Yeah, like i don't know why she would ever stop yeah but i think this is something that happens with vegas residencies where i think it really is so lucrative so easy um but you get kind of stuck in it you know and i don't think she's close to doing that because she's just done 34 shows and she's doing 34 more but i feel like it can be hard to come out of that cycle because it's you get into such a good rhythm and as a performing artist who over the years you don't have a lot of patterns and everything is so up and down and up and down down.

Like you really cherish the stability of Vegas.

That's why it's typically used as like a retirement plan.

Yeah, but I think it's hard to get out of there.

Yeah.

I don't think that Adele will have that problem.

I feel like she's found a life hack for being a performer

because she'll still release new music and people can come.

Not like she's going to be there forever, but I think it might be hard to, especially harder to get back on the road after this.

Yeah, because it's just been so easy.

Yeah.

should but I'm glad should we do a Vegas residency?

Kind of, I'm down.

Although, when I was on tour, I've only in my life ever canceled, I think, three shows, and I had to cancel my Vegas show due to poor performance.

Literally, two weeks out, like five tickets it sold.

We're not big in Vegas, we're not.

Vegas is like a notoriously tough market because people don't usually buy tickets unless it's for like Adele, till they get there.

They see, oh, let me see Donnie and Marie, you know?

Yeah, so you have to have a lot of faith in the fact that like people might show up that day and buy tickets.

But I was playing a room for a thousand people and I had sold 100 tickets two weeks out.

I was not doing that.

Right.

And so we have to hope there's like a thousand toasters in Vegas every single weekend.

Right.

Right.

Okay.

Well, we'll,

we can dream and manifest.

Um,

the other thing I wanted to talk to you about, TV recap, was succession last night.

I watched succession.

Highly anticipated season premiere for the final season.

Truly gave us nothing.

The show, you guys i have to tell you is so bad and if you think about i've been saying this like for so long in any given episode absolutely nothing happens if you think about how every season has been so titillating since season one and like where we started in season one versus where we are season four episode one like seriously what's changed they still own the company the only thing that's changed now is they're all three children are beefing with logan but it's like they could literally turn him around stab him in the back each one of them six times and then like the next day it's it's like, so are you going to call the kids?

No, let them call me.

It's like, nothing is permanent.

No betrayal is permanent.

Like think about what

they've all done.

Not, but the

one.

Kendall.

Kendall.

I can't ever remember his name.

Think about all the things that Kendall has done.

And yet he still like has his inheritance even.

Like, I think Logan likes playing this game with his kids.

They're kind of only the only worthy adversaries for him, only because they have his resources at their disposal.

So it's just like he gets to spar with himself.

I mean, he is sparring with himself because they're buying that company with the money they made from Waystar, which is their dad's company.

They're literally like the definition of entitled Nepo Babies.

No, the definition, and I think people like who watch the show are rooting.

Some people are rooting for the kids and think like they're in the future.

No, not me whatsoever.

But like.

If you listen to what the kids say, like they never say a word of substance.

Everything they say is nonsense.

Every idea they have is bad.

They really think that they like are doing something and that they have like, they know what's best for the world and for culture.

And like they're literally so fucking dumb.

Yeah.

And the fact that Kendall values Pierce at like six, seven billion, which is probably worth, let's say, 7.5.

He was lowballing them.

Let's say eight even, but they paid an extra $2 billion to end the conversation.

Like, do you have any concept of $1

when Roman was the only one like trying to break it down for them?

Like, oh, we just paid an extra half a billion just to end the conversation.

Like, what would that's $500 million?

Right.

Like, what that money could be used for other things.

So, like, I don't understand how after this, they have any money left to their name.

And really, like, they have this opportunity to do whatever they want with their lives to create the companies that they wish to see in the world that they hoped that Logan would have created all these years.

And instead, they're gonna take 10 steps back just to fight with their

go buy an old ass, basically another version of ATS, which they've hated all these years and they think is so backwards.

They're gonna buy that just to fuck with him instead of like starting something new and light on their feet with for far less money and like trying to to do something new no instead like their relics just like the relics that they make fun of so this is my first time watching um succession i feel like maybe the last season i had caught up with like the last three episodes left so i really binged it all and watching it in full is much more exciting because episode by episode like really It was boring.

Like I was bored.

Yeah, no, and every episode there is like a countdown clock.

A call has to be made within the next 24 hours or 48 hours for a contract contract to be signed.

We never actually get to the signing of anything.

Nothing actually ever changes or gets done.

We just get people negotiating on the phone and like talking so slowly with so many filler words of like, uh, yeah, um, well, so, uh, like, and they literally put all that stuff into the dialogue.

I watched the captions on.

Me too.

And the way that these people speak in like such broken sentences.

And if you, if someone will say a bunch of words and like when you distill it down to what they've said, they've said, they've said absolutely nothing.

Yes.

Yes.

And that's like the vibe of the show, though.

Right.

People just talking to like hear themselves speak.

And then, of course, last season, like Tom, big bad Tom, like he's, you know,

after all these seasons, like, he's finally having his comeuppance.

I'm like, no, he's still the same shit he always was because he flopped back again in this episode and ruined everything

for

Logan.

He gave, he tipped Shiv off.

He tipped Shiv off.

He's the reason why Logan lost this deal.

And Logan's right to be like, if we're good, we're good.

Like, you don't get more than that.

A hundred percent.

I just felt like so bored the whole time.

Yeah, I felt bored.

Except the conversation about Greg's date's purse was quite possibly one of the funniest things of all time.

Like how they just judged her immediately because her purse was a little big.

Yeah, but she was also like walking around taking pictures and she was out of control.

She was out of control.

But that was hysterical.

Yeah, it was very funny.

Like little things like that make the show really funny.

And a lot of like the characters like quirks.

But like last night was just so much, like, shiv and the kids, and I just, I hate them.

Hate, except for Roman, and Roman needs to go back to the other side.

But it's like in every episode, like, someone will make a final decision, we're betraying dad, and now it's the next episode, and I'm like, well, you, are you ready to go back yet?

Like, there's no permanence in anything that happens, and nothing has changed since the first season.

Like, nobody went to jail over the cruise ship stuff.

Like, even Kendall, remember when he left, and he was just being such a loser with his, like, art collective?

Yeah.

Like, nothing.

Now we're back.

he's back with the kids with the kids now they own pierce okay i guess like how do they have any money left

i don't know their finance it like i get that they're like uber uber uber uber uber uber wealthy but like it really confuses me yeah like they're all using all the money that they get from this gojo sale to

buy pierce so like well i feel like something's gonna happen with this gojo sale because they keep saying 48 hours and it's not done yet well i think that logan should cancel it so the kids don't have the money to buy Pierce.

Yes.

Duh.

But like,

but then he also doesn't get that.

But it's like, why did he need to sell it in the first place?

What was the problem a while ago?

Because it stung.

No, and like in the FBI, what happened with them?

Right.

No, like, oh, one thing about me is like, half the shit that goes on in the show in terms of like business completely goes over my head.

Like, I have really no idea what's going on at any point.

Yeah, but you know, like the big ideas, which is that he's competing for Pierce with the kids in this episode.

But like, the stuff in the past, I genuinely don't remember why did Logan have to offload the company so hastily?

Right?

Because, like, they wanted him out.

Jose.

The board, remember, that guy, Adrian Brody.

Adrian Brody, right?

They wanted him out, and the company also likes stinks.

Like, they have, like, no, nothing big.

They wanted to buy Gojo, but then it was like, actually, Gojo could buy us.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I don't remember.

Okay, so now if Gojo doesn't buy them.

Okay, so what?

So we're back to season one, episode one.

Exactly.

It's so like nothing ever happens.

They were just always on the phone.

And like.

They're always on the phone.

It's just so stupid.

And nobody trusts anybody else.

Like that, one, the kids, like, don't even trust themselves or their own instincts.

At least Logan, I constantly confuse Logan and Kendall, but at least Logan trusts himself.

But like the fact that those three kids can't trust that like they're actually going to.

be loyal to one another.

Or they don't even trust the decisions that they make.

They don't even know if what they do is like the right move.

they're actually not smart businesses they spent three months like luring investors into the hundred which is just like master class

right uh on it's like a startup that's been done a million times yeah yeah and it's extremely pretentious and elite and like only for a handful of people right that they're willing to walk away from all of that which they thought was a good idea but they're not sure that it's a good idea because oh there's this old dinosaur that's up for sale that our dad wants right right no it's moral let's pull all of our money to fuck with him like ben watched the episode with me and he he has no idea what the show is about.

I just basically told him, like, these are the kids, and that's the dad.

And I honestly feel like it probably wasn't even hard for him to catch up because all the shit that's happened in the last four seasons, like, doesn't even feel important.

No, it's not important.

Right.

It doesn't feel relevant to the current story.

And, like, why am I supposed to mourn the loss of Shib and Tom's relationship when, like, they've never been in love or had any?

So.

I went on Twitter last night to see like if people were talking about the show and like, you know, if I missed anything, people.

What did they say?

What did they say people were like this scene is so beautiful like them holding hands being like we gave it a go such a such a stunning portrait of a marriage i was like these people are fucking delusional like this is not a marriage that's even remotely relatable in any way it wasn't really ever real no um

And we're supposed to be mourning it.

I felt no emotions.

No, it was a beautiful apartment.

Which I feel like was the point.

It was a beautiful apartment.

Stunning.

That's crazy.

But like Tom isn't like a real person.

You don't feel empathy for Tom.

He's like this caricature.

Yeah, and he has no scruples.

He's just looking out for number one.

I think when he ties, when he attaches himself to someone else, like if he could just be loyal to the person that he attaches himself to, I thought it was Kendall, but then he like had to go and call Shib.

Like I would be able to.

You thought it was Logan.

Sorry.

I thought it was Logan, but then he had to go call Shib.

I would have been able to have respect for his at least loyalty, considering it's not like he's an ingenue.

And so in the last episode of season three, when he chose Kendall and went and warned Kendall, I had respect for him for like making a choice.

Shit treats him like shit wants an open relationship.

And like, he's going straight to the big man, but then literally, like that, the respect is lost.

And it's so funny how if you probably look at the tweets from like season three, season finale, like, Tom's a man, like, Tom is dead.

And now, what do you think?

No, but that's so Tom.

Like, I actually feel like Tom is probably

the most well-developed character.

Like, he's so spineless, and he's constantly being spineless, and he's constantly, like, exerting the little power he has over people underneath him, like Greg, and like abusing it.

He's really this, like, insane fucking person.

Yeah, but the thing is, I would have thought that his character developed, but then in this episode, that he had to call Shiv and say the Naomi Pierce thing and ruin the completely Tom.

So he hasn't developed at all.

No, but I'm saying Tom, as the character, like, is so detailed.

Like, Yes, yes.

You know who he is.

I, yes, as a character on a television show, but as a real person,

like, no, none of these people like are really relatable in any way in the way that they think.

Like

having no scruples, no loyalty, no one they can trust.

And like being okay with that.

Yeah, and just being like so miserable in their lives when it's like, why don't you just go enjoy your life and stop worrying about fucking with your dad?

Just like say, hey, thanks for the billions.

I'm going to go get get him

instead of like constantly festering in this horrible environment.

The kids are the worst, except for Roman.

Except for Roman, but he's siding with the worst right now.

So he is part of the worst.

But even when he chooses Kendall's side sometimes, like he's done in the past, like he's not fully on that side either.

Yeah.

He's just always on the fence.

You mean Logan?

Sorry, Logan.

Why is it so confusing?

Because like the names give the, it's like, yep, yeah, he's like, I like that woman's TikTok where she's like, if you like the name, names that feel feel the same.

If you like the name Logan for your baby, but you can't use it because, you know, someone else had it, try Kendall.

By the way, they look the same.

Like

they feel the same.

They are the same.

Yeah, I don't confuse Kendall and Shift.

Or Kendall and Roman.

No, I know.

Roman is Roman.

They have the same phonetic structure.

It's something.

That's a plot hole.

100%.

At the end of the day, I stand with Logan eternally.

He's the best character.

I I stand with Logan too.

And also, so many times he starts saying something.

And I was like, oh, this is the part of the show where Logan loses his mind.

He has, you know, he's dementia riddled and it's time for him to retire.

But then he...

When he was watching ATN at the end.

Or when he was at the diner with his bodyguard.

Yep.

I was like, oh, Logan's lost his marbles.

Every time they like zoom in on him slowly when he's watching TV and he goes to call someone and he like literally can't even move his hand to call.

He's like,

and he starts like babbling something.

I'm like, Logan's lost it.

And then it comes out.

And it's

like, oh, fair point.

Facts.

That guy does look like a thumb.

I always think, I'm like, oh, this is how the show ends.

He's sick.

He's going to die and none of this will have mattered.

Yeah.

Like, how does the show end?

The show is about succession.

It's about like the line of succession.

Like, does Logan die?

Does he finally hand over the keys to someone?

Is it one of the kids?

Like, how does this show end?

I

the way it started, the kids come back on board and they're in line whenever Logan chooses to retire.

And by the way, the whole issue with the show, the whole reason they're even fighting is because Logan won't retire because their dad won't die fast enough.

Right.

They're so evil.

They're so evil.

So I think it'll go back to the way that it was where the kids come over to Logan's side.

They also own Pierce.

Now they have an even bigger empire.

And if you could just fucking wait for your dad to die instead of kicking him into the grave, it will all be yours.

Yeah, but which kid?

That was the the whole point.

Well, that's something they have to sort.

Who's running Pierce?

They still have to figure that out amongst themselves.

Kendall Logan is never gonna choose one of them, though he should choose Roman, even though Roman is also disgusting, you have to remember.

And I know he's

in a little disgusting.

He's done some really like perverse stuff, not even the Jerry pictures, like

with the girl.

I forget what it was, but he's like, he's really degrading.

And like

he has some clear mental health issues.

Yes, yes, but he seems to be the better person of the three of them.

Yes, I agree.

And he seems to be the one with like the slightest bit of family loyalty.

Yes.

And who do you dislike more?

Shiv.

Kendall or Shiv.

Shiv.

Shiv.

I really like Kendall is far and away like the worst because he's also really easy to hate.

But Shiv is like...

Because Kendall has been so humbled.

I know.

Yeah, I know.

It's nice when somebody's so evil gets what comes their way.

Like, it makes them more likable.

Yeah.

Shiv is just like constantly floating through life, like bulldozing, and no complaints.

No, when she seriously, like, thinks she's morally superior to everyone.

And

she thinks she's the smartest person.

Like, even when she was opening the door at the Pierce's house and coming in with her new offer when she had the 10 million, she had this fucking smirk on her face.

I just wanted to slap it off.

She was like,

10 million.

Billion.

I like, I just, I really don't like her.

I really don't like her as well.

It's like they all got together and said, how can we create the most unlikable character in the history of television?

And Shiv Roy was born.

The thing is, like, people who watch the show, like, one, love it.

And I think people,

like, love Shiv.

That's crazy.

I think people are team Kendall over Logan.

People are team.

kids.

But even when it was Kendall versus Logan and the other two were just

the other two were like working for

Waystar Royko.

That's also a weird lot to say.

A great star.

Waystar Royko.

They were working for the family business and still like talking to

Kendall.

Kendall.

So it was really a battle of Team Kendall or Team Logan.

Like people on this earth, a lot of people were Team Kendall.

Maybe even like the majority of people.

Yeah.

L to the OG.

Zud be the OG.

And I'm the plagiar.

So good.

That was the best part.

Yeah.

Zud be the OG.

But it was like, it was terrible.

It was horrifying.

But somebody like Kent, like Kendall would do that, like that level of narcissism, like thinking that's a good idea.

Yeah.

But also, the thing about Logan is like, even though he's so smart and this and that, it's like he's actually not because he has nobody worthy to leave his empire to.

Yeah, he's surrounded by enemies.

His family.

Like, so what, so,

So what's all this for?

That's a great.

But I think he also fostered this environment of competitiveness and like mistrusting of the kids.

And I think a part of him also likes it.

Yeah.

He's created his own enemies, but

I think he likes having enemies.

Yeah, well, it keeps you on your toes.

Yeah.

So hopefully more happens next week because I was unsatiated.

Nothing's going to happen next week or anything.

But then when we watch the season finale, I think we'll be able to say what happened this season.

Right, right, right.

I think.

I hope.

A girl can dream.

A girl can dream.

So that's our show.

Nice long one for you.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Hope it got you to lunch, maybe even dinner, depending on when you're listening to this.

Have an amazing day.

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I'm gonna see you tomorrow for Tuesday, Tuesday show.

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Love ya.

Bye.