Turd Under Attack: Friday, February 17th, 2023

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend, Friday, Friday.

Turdy says it's Friday.

Turdy says it's Friday, and so does the calendar.

It's a beautiful day.

We made it to the weekend, the holiday weekend.

I know.

This feels so good.

Feels so good, everyone.

Feels so good.

And also, Claude, a little fun fact about you and I today is that we are both wearing rails.

Oh, Meg, you're wearing rails too?

Yeah, my sweater is rails.

Well, it's a little chilly in New York.

It's raining two days in a row uh it feels personal it feels personal that's sweet no it feels personal theo got groomed yesterday the second his grooming was over rain rain oh they're coming for theo they're it feels personal it feels targeted it isn't it always

isn't it always isn't someone always targeting you turdy uh actually yeah and we're gonna we're gonna get into that later in the show about me being targeted yeah turdy's under attack i'm under attack i'm under attack today's headline turd under attack.

Literally.

You want to know why?

Ever since I kind of became the turdy, people are so jealous of me.

Oh my God.

They're obsessed.

And everyone wants to be the turd, but they're all irrelevant uglies.

And I am the actual turd.

The one, the only turd.

I did a Q ⁇ A yesterday, and someone was like, have you ever thought about getting your gums fixed?

And like, I think they were trolling me.

Because, like, don't get me wrong, I have a laundry list of insecurities.

My gums are not one of them.

And like, I think maybe she was trying to create an insecurity for me, but it didn't work because I have like, say what you want.

Maybe I got a little bit buck teeth.

I got fangs.

I don't have gum issues, bitch.

No, that's always crazy when people like say something and it's like, oh, I literally have been in this body for 30 years and I never realized that that was wrong with me.

No, but it's actually like I, like, there's fact and reality and the reality and the facts are, I don't have gum problems.

I have a million other issues.

I had moles, you know, I've got a back problem.

I've struggled with my weight my whole life.

Yeah, my gums ain't one of my issues.

Yeah.

Or are they?

Let me see them.

Bitch.

Okay, ready?

Smile.

I've never thought you to be particularly gummy.

If anything, you know, it's been a really long time since I've gotten lip filler.

And actually in the last like week, when I've been looking at the podcast or just pictures of myself, I'm like, damn, I need to get my lips filled.

So maybe like she, this girl was just like seeing the come down of my lips.

Maybe.

That's what I was thinking.

I love when you get lip filler.

I think it's really important.

I love getting lip filler too.

I just don't like the first couple of days when you're really swollen.

Like, you feel like that's how it's going to be forever.

And I just don't like it.

I look like a little crazy the first week and then it really settles and does a nice job because I don't do a lot.

But that first couple of days, I'm like, oh my God, what did I do?

And like, I know it's going to go down.

It's so turdy.

Even when you get a haircut and a trim,

that's so turdy.

It's the change that she can't stand.

It's so true.

It's so true.

You just read me to filth.

You read me like like a book.

No, not to filth.

I just read you.

Yeah, no, no, like a book.

Like a book.

Speaking of books, I finally finished that fucking book I've been reading for three weeks, The Marriage Portrait, which Dana recommended, which is actually like on a list and it's very buzzy.

So I just want to let you guys know, like if you're seeing it and you're thinking it's something you should read, like if you usually identify with my taste, don't do it.

Oh my God.

It like was so, Claudia, like I can't think of a book you would hate more.

It was so descriptive.

There would be whole pages that didn't have like a paragraph indentation.

Do you know what I mean by that?

Like, oh, not a quote.

Nari a break.

Like

describing Lucrazia's dreams.

And it's not as if the dreams are germane to the story.

Like it was not my favorite 2.5 stars from me.

Looking forward to moving on.

I'm so glad you got over that hump.

And it wasn't even hump day.

Yeah.

And I kept pushing forward.

You're like, Jax, why did you read it?

Like, you know, you could have given up at week one.

I kept pushing forward because Dana said, like, I trust Dana, truly.

But then it turns out she said, one, you could give up now because the whole book is kind of the same.

It doesn't get like much different or better.

She was like, two, I only recommended it to you because, like, this is your beat.

And I like read something historical royalty.

So I thought you would like it.

So, what you're saying is that Dana can't be trusted.

What I'm saying is, is that I just next time she recommends something to me, I'm going to say, why are you recommending this book to me?

Yeah.

What is the reason?

Because you think I would like it or because you liked it?

What was the reason?

Yeah.

What was the reason?

So I'm feeling good about that.

And I'm feeling good.

You're also, I know why you're feeling good because yesterday's episode inspired you to actually book a staycation, right?

It did.

I'm going on a staycation this weekend.

I'm so excited.

Like, not only am I excited for the staycation, but this excitement that in the days leading up now that I've had, just like talking about going to the beach with my boys and like,

I'm really so excited.

I didn't realize how much I needed like a little vacation, a little reprieve.

Something like that.

And just a staycation.

And you live in Florida.

Like a staycation, it's like not sad, you know?

No, a staycation in Florida is like a real vacation.

Right.

Except it's literally going to be like a five-minute staycation, but still, I'll take what I can do.

No, I'm happy for you.

I love that journey for you.

And I'm jealous if I'm, if I'm, if, in the name of honesty.

Turdy should be there.

I think like you would really love it.

Turdy should be there.

We are going to the beach.

We'll go to dinner.

I'm excited.

And like the fact that I'm missing, like, I've been there for so many of Harry's firsts and I'm missing Harry's first time at the beach.

It's disgusting.

It's anti-neglect is what it is.

And it's Bruno's first time at the beach.

Bruno deserves the world.

He does.

He's such a good brother.

He's such a good brother.

It's crazy.

And he's really kind of taken, you know, the, he used to be in the driver's seat, you know, mommy and daddy's number one boy.

Now he's in the passenger seat and he's taken it with stride.

I think a lot of other dogs might have had like pride issue.

Not Bruno.

He knows his place.

No, but he takes it out on Theo.

Yeah.

Because he says, listen, I will always be number two to the little boy.

I understand he has needs.

But Theo, do not touch my mommy without me there.

So true.

He's human after all.

What can we do?

Like, our boys just love us so much.

And it's like, it's overwhelming.

It is.

It's overwhelming to be loved so dearly.

Dearly, dearly.

Dearly, clearly.

The way Turd has taken on a life of its own.

I was looking yesterday.

When I was in LA, I did like these little cute content video shoots with Dear Media.

I saw it.

And they've slowly started to post them over the last couple of weeks.

And the most recent one went up like yesterday or the day before on their Instagram.

The comments, oh, turd.

We love our turd.

McTurdia.

Like it is insane.

And even in my QA yesterday, someone was like,

let's be real, like, just be honest with us.

Do you dislike like being known by turd?

And I'm like, no, it really is a term of endearment.

I would be honest if something bothered me.

Yeah, you would be.

I feel like I don't know if if i could handle being called like the turd all the time um but it is like a really cute name when you think about it no and like when i see somebody dm me like hey turd i don't automatically think hey feces like i don't do you know what i mean it's just like the snitch like she's not a snitch right but she's right the snitch right right right right so i'm loving it just wanted to unburden myself and speaking of we had a episode drop yesterday jackie and i for those who remember our unburden yourselves segment here at the Toast used to be a weekly segment, didn't really work for the daily show, but we started to do it in monthly installments.

Did you just

read your segment, be like, oh, that sucks, and move on.

Like now we can really go dive deep on every submission, and it's so fun.

And it was like two days before Dear Toasters, and it was like a little too similar to Deer Toasters.

Yeah.

So it just wasn't right, but like the segment itself really was a fabulous idea.

So it's up on our Patreon now.

It's like a monthly thing.

And we did a video and audio episode.

And it was fabulous.

And I made a joke at the end that I thought was so funny.

I made Ben watch it.

Like, I might,

my,

my smile joke, you know, like, smile.

No.

Yeah, I don't want to spoil it by saying like, give me more context.

Like, what were you talking about?

Smile.

Like, this girl in the front row, smile.

Oh, my God.

So funny.

Oh, my God.

I got home.

I literally was like, Ben was like, how was your day?

I'm like, I made a joke that was so funny.

And I made him listen to it.

And he cackled too.

I was like, really proud of my joke, you know?

Yeah, and I was proud of the script that I developed for a romantic comedy.

Inspired by one of our submissions.

Inspired by one of our submissions.

Like, I need to see this movie.

I'm waiting for James Cameron to call me because I have like a laundry list of things to tell him.

And I will be

adding that to the list.

Love that for you.

Starring, maybe

starring Turdy.

Or maybe starring me.

Yeah, put yourself first, Jax.

It's your film.

Yeah.

Like, maybe I could be the writer and director, kind of like Kelsey Ballerini.

Jackie, I was about to use that segue as well.

Jackie and I both this morning watched Kelsey Ballerini's short film.

We're going to talk about that because she's in the news, SNL traps Kelsey.

Yeah, yeah, that's what spurred me watching it because I wanted to talk about how she's going to be on SNL, but it's like, if I haven't listened to the music, like, what am I going to say?

And so many people in our comments have been like, you guys have to see this.

And I feel like it really has this like grassroots movement.

Movement because I haven't seen, I mean, I check the news every day.

I haven't really seen like a lot of any headlines about it.

And I'm sure if you search her on Google, they come up, but like, they weren't on like home pages and stuff.

And even the video, the short film on YouTube, like doesn't, doesn't have a million views yet.

Like, I feel like it's gaining steam.

It's giving kind of like Olivia Rodrigo.

Yeah, like very

like the consumers are going to make this.

Yeah, because if you like listen to it, it's just like really good

quality, you know?

It's an EP that feels like a real EP.

it was extremely well done so we're gonna talk about it in our story about kelsey it's kind of like the year of kelsey she's been like everywhere yeah and she'll be on snl so let's get into the stories yeah yeah yeah you can start off with that one i'll move some things around we'll start off with that without further ado do it do here are the fast five stories that you need to know before the holiday weekend you guys

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Are you ready for our first story?

Yes.

SNL has announced three weeks of SNL lineups: February 25th, Woody Harrelson and the Jack White.

March 4th, Travis Kelsey and Kelsey Ballerini.

And then March 11th, Jenna Ortega and the 1975.

So of course we're very hyper-focused on the Kelsey of it all.

Even though the third one is huge because like Jenna Ortega is having this moment and of course the 1975 is like huge.

That'll be a big one too.

Yeah.

But Travis Kelsey is the man of the week.

And he's hosting SNL, which is like kind of crazy.

It is kind of crazy because he's not a, like, certain, like, the Manning Brothers have done it.

J.J.

Watt has done it.

People have done it, but I feel like they're usually quarterbacks.

I don't know if J.J.

Watt's a quarterback.

Yeah, no, he's not.

But, like, I don't know.

I feel like the stars of the football

teams are always the quarterbacks.

Like, we always know the quarterbacks' names.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I feel like he has that personality.

Like, he's really, he's always had this personality.

I feel like because of the Super Bowl and the Kelsey bowl like he's someone that we're kind of fixating on he kind of reminds me of gronk like in terms of yeah yeah yeah and but he just is that guy like he doesn't have to put on and i i wonder if the eagles had won like if jason would be getting these opportunities So that was my thought as well.

Like when I saw that he was announced, my initial reaction was like, oh, great.

And then I was like, wait, what about Jason?

And I'm sure that Jason will be in a sketch.

And I'm sure he'll be there with the mom too.

Like, I know it really will be a family affair because they're like, you know, brothers who support brothers.

But I did think like, oh well it's because he lost even though like travis is just more of like a forward-facing celebrity like you knew him before if travis lost he wouldn't be doing not that like it's like oh you lost you can't do it but it's like because he won he's like on the tour and yeah i don't know he was on jimmy fallon last night yeah so i just i wonder how things would have played out if Jason had won.

It literally doesn't matter.

I think Travis will be great.

I'm glad that he's getting his shine.

You know, he's clearly not afraid of the spotlight.

He did his show.

Yeah.

And I think this is really sweet.

And the world gets to continue its obsession with the Kelsey Brethren.

And by the world, I mean us.

Can I say something that might be like a hot take?

Sure.

I think a lot of this like overexposure to Travis Kelsey for me is like, it's giving me a little bit of like the ick.

Howard do you feel overexposed?

Like, it's just like a lot.

And I feel like he's loving it and like leaning in like a little too much.

I can't explain it.

It's just like.

With Jason, it feels so like authentic.

And with like Travis, it feels like a little forced.

I can't explain it.

And I have no reason.

And I can't explain it further.

But like aside from Fallon and SNL, like what has he done that Jason hasn't?

They just do the podcast and they play it in the game.

No, like if you look at his social media, I feel like he's like playing on like the Kelsey Bowl like a little more.

He's like leaning in a lot.

Oh my God.

Like, you know, but the day of the Super Bowl posting like a montage of like childhood photos of him and his brother, which I'm sure was really genuine and sweet.

I, I just, I don't know, something about it.

Am I the only one?

I'm just like, all right, like it's, it's a lot, you know, like, and I want more Jason.

I want more Jason.

I want more Jason, but also like Travis is a lot.

And like, he's always been this way.

So now he has this, like, huge spotlight.

And it's like, it's only going to be more than that.

No, I know, but like, you know, even, and I talked about this after the Super Bowl, like his post-game interview, he was just like talking over everyone and the dancing.

Like, he's just starting to like kind of be a lot for me.

You were feeling that way.

Yeah.

I feel like he's the right amount for who he is and this moment for him.

I feel.

Yeah.

I know that they will, but I really do hope they include, you know, the other brother and Jason and the parents.

Like, and I know they will because it's been, it really hasn't even been about Travis.

It's been about the Kelseys.

Yeah.

And they are hosting March 4th.

So I think that gives enough time for Kylie to have her baby.

I don't think she's had her baby yet, or if she has, like, she just had it and they haven't announced it.

So I think Jason could maybe make the trip up to New York.

Like, it's not that bad.

But it's Philly.

Yeah.

It's Philly.

It could be done.

It could be done.

And then also exciting news, Kelsey Ballerini will be the musical guest that night because she just put out her EP, Rolling Up the Welcome Mat, accompanied with a short film.

That's like a music, one long music video for every song on the EP.

I think it's like six songs.

And it's all about her divorce from Morgan Evans.

All about it.

So

first off, like I think a lot of people are shipping Travis Kelsey and Kelsey Ballerini.

But it is worth noting when she posted on Instagram announcing that she's doing SNL, Chase Stokes commented.

So I think her and Chase are like very much still together.

They are spoken to her.

So like I agree, like I would literally live for it, but I also feel like, I don't know, Travis Kelsey's having this moment.

I don't think he wants to be bogged down.

I don't think they're each other's types.

I would agree with that too.

So to the album, I was really, first of all, like I was kind of quaking because Kelsey really didn't say much about the divorce publicly or in her most recent album, Heart First, which is amazing.

Subject to change.

Morgan did.

Oh, sorry, subject to change.

Yeah, Heart First is the single.

But Morgan did.

Morgan had performed a song at like a show in Australia and people really responded to it.

So he recorded it, like the live version and put it out.

It's called Over for You.

And it's actually a really good song.

I've been listening to it and I enjoy it.

And basically the

message of his song is how long has it been over for you?

Like I would have done anything for you, took a flight through the night to be that shoulder for you.

And like, you just didn't want

shoulder for you.

Like his song is very much giving like victim energy.

Yeah.

So and also energy of like, I was not the one who chose this.

Yes.

This was was chosen for me.

Right.

And I loved you more than anything.

And I would have done anything for you.

And you didn't want it.

So when she opens with the song that says, that's when it was over for me, it's clearly like a direct response.

I was kind of quaking.

It was like, oh, damn.

There was a lot of direct response marketing.

Oh, I mean,

you got half.

If anybody had a question, he got half.

And I just want to say, like, the absolute disdain in her eyes when she said that, like, agreed.

Agreed.

Like, taking money from a woman, ew?

Yeah.

It was really well done.

I think, like, it wasn't very

difficult to read.

She was like being very honest.

It wasn't like subliminal messaging.

Like, it was very direct and clear what happened.

And she does corroborate, like, she was the one who left, but it wasn't because of no reason.

Like, there was a laundry list of things, and that's what she said about.

And it's clear that, like, she really struggles with it.

And maybe she even feels guilty that she left, but like, she was so unhappy.

And sorry.

Yeah.

So, no, continue your thought and then I'll give, I'll give all mine.

So

the takeaway for me was that like he was very much like traditional and almost in a way resented her career.

I had assumed like he resented her career because like he wanted the same type of one.

But what she was saying is like, because he was very traditional and wanted like, you know, make me a plate and let's have kids and white pick a fence.

And her career was one of the things in the way of stopping her from doing that.

And that's why he resented her career, not out of jealousy, even though like he's also a country artist.

So I don't know how any human being could not.

Oh, I didn't get as much of the career resenting stuff.

Like, yes, he wanted her to.

Why, when they were playing Monopoly and she got the career card.

Oh, but, and he wanted her to make him a plate.

And it's like, she's busy, but you know, the plate once in a while, it can be made.

And, you know, she's like holding all the dishes.

So it was reminding me actually of Casey Musgraves.

Yeah, of course.

What was it?

Housewife.

Breadwinner.

Breadwinner.

Like, really, kind of the same message.

And it's kind of the same story.

And i so most of the album is about like her feelings and how she felt in their marriage and how she lost herself and how she felt alone and how she felt like she was pretending and how you know the love

fizzled they grew apart all this stuff and so i feel like that was really honest i feel like a lot of people could relate to that feeling but my overall takeaway was that there was there's no tea in this divorce like no yeah except that he got half oh yeah but like in terms of how like what happened between them like nothing happened these are two people people who got married young who grew apart and who also which happens to couples all the time a lot of people But like when you live with someone when you're in it every day and it's the same thing every single day like you either things actually either get like really bad or you work on it But when two people are constantly traveling and then like the thing that binds them like it just keeps getting weaker It's like and they don't have kids.

It's like why would we stay married?

Like we're both

unhappy.

And I think both of them were not ever going to like prioritize making their marriage work over their careers because they have, they're both extremely talented and they're having success.

So like, why are we going to come home to be miserable in Nashville when like there's things to be done out there in the world?

And also as they see the world, like they're getting a taste of what could be.

And it's like, why am I going again to my penthouse to like go play pretend with my husband who we don't have that much in common anymore?

And neither of us are really invested in finding commonality.

And I think that's really why like the lack lack of tea, it was, I think that's why it's, it's gaining so much traction from people is because like most people, most divorces are not these like knockdown, drag out, you cheated.

Like there's not like, sometimes people really do just grow apart and that makes it even harder to explain to your friends and family like what's going on.

So I think a lot of people are like really relating to this because it's very normal.

It's not, you know, celebrity, like what happened?

No, it's just.

Like you're right.

Two people who got married really young who grew apart.

Yeah.

And who don't have really any reason to stay together.

You know, usually it would be kids or something.

And then also kids complicate things.

Then you have alimony, custody issues.

So it's easier to stay together sometimes.

Yeah, but also it makes a it also makes a divorce more

tricky.

Tricky.

I don't think this is a tricky divorce.

I think she's just saying how she feels.

When I finished watching this, I wasn't like, oh, Morgan, you have something to answer for.

No, he was just like upstairs playing his guitar and like not really emotionally vibing with his wife.

Yeah.

um

okay

yeah i also do wonder if kelsey would have ever like released this if he had it like he started it you know like he released his song first yeah i feel like no she did say in the interlude like you know it's like it's very much like the industry to blame the woman um But I didn't feel like until that song where he was like being victim-y, that there was any misunderstanding or narrative going around about what happened

that was putting the blame on her you know i mean we had a theory that like you know she's bigger that's weird uh it was actually not even as interesting as that well so i'm just like

really intrigued by you know many years ago a lot of the like big up-and-coming female country artists all got married in the same year and they were all married to people significantly less popular than the industry but country artists well

but country artists as well so there was Rustin Kelly and Kelsey and Casey Musgraves who are since divorced it was Morgan Evans and Kelsey Ballarini who are since divorced and the last one standing is Marin Morrison and Ryan Hurd and they have a baby and they seem to be doing really well and I don't get those vibes from them like I feel like with

Kelsey and Casey it was always like they're not physically together no they were always showing up to like these major career milestones by themselves yeah like Ryan Hurd is really always with Marin always with Marin and they do songs together and he always shows up to support her and she always shows up to support him.

And that's what another key takeaway from the short film was like, you really never know what's going on in a marriage.

But from what I see of Ryan and Marin, they seem to be really happy.

Yeah.

And so I like, I thought it was, I thought it was really well done.

I think the songs are beautiful.

I look forward to listening to them without.

And I feel like if I listened to them without watching the video, I wouldn't have heard everything, you know, because you get distracted, but I was like laser focused.

I was like, she said this.

He did that.

This is what happened.

So I feel, I'm glad that she put out a whole video and i think it was a really cool way to drop an album um

i don't think anyone's ever done a whole

album as a short film correct me if i'm wrong at least not one that i've seen not a short film like beyonce lemonade but it was all the music videos yeah it was it's like a visual album yeah but this is like

one youtube video 20 minutes yeah yeah i thought that was cool Yeah, I thought it was cool too.

I wasn't expecting it.

I honestly thought she wasn't going to talk about it really that much, but he definitely started it.

I guess so, but yeah, yeah,

I just don't want everyone to like go and give him a hate now because I

don't think no, and I don't think that's what she wants either.

No, no, but that's what the internet does, you know.

I know, I know, remember, like, Olivia Rodrigo, like, what, where's Joshua Bassett?

Is he okay?

Oh my god, have you not heard?

No,

so remember, he came out as queer, yeah.

Then, like, a week ago, he like had been kind of silent on social media and he came back and was like,

I have found Christ.

I feel so happy and good.

And then his church released video footage of him getting baptized.

And I think a lot of people were deeply moved by it.

Then it turned out like the church is like a conversion therapy church.

People don't know what's going on with Joshua Bassett and if he's okay.

He released a statement being like, I didn't know that they did conversion.

I really, I don't know, but there's a lot going on with Joshua.

To further my point.

Right.

Like we can, No, I think about that a lot.

We can take one person's experience and support them and how they're feeling.

And it doesn't mean we have to dump on another.

The unintended consequences of like the

songwriting.

And I think a lot of people do it because I think they see people being really successful at it, like Olivia Rodrigo, like Taylor Swift.

They make it really clear who they're talking about.

And they don't think about

the vitriol that gets sent that person's way.

I mean, Sabrina Carpenter.

Yeah.

And she's a queen and she handled the whole thing with such class class and elegance and she's really having a moment now.

Her music is so good, but like justice for her.

And

you know what?

Like a little bit of responsibility on Olivia Rodrigo for not encouraging people to stop.

Yes, but I will also say that when Olivia Rodrigo put out that song, she never thought people would care in the way that they do.

It was just like a young girl, like writing her truth and her diary.

You know, it's not like she could have ever foreseen that sort of fact.

Of course.

But she could have, she could have like done something.

Yeah.

Especially since like she said like he didn't cheat on her.

He just like they broke up and then he started eating.

Right.

It's like was extremely

extremely kosher.

She was upset.

Yeah.

So you're allowed to write about your feelings.

Our shit.

Of course.

No, but that's like the culture now.

It's like the mob.

The mob.

It's like figuring it out.

Calm down.

Everyone, seriously, needs to get a fucking life.

Like, just because something is good and we want to support someone doesn't mean that there's like an equal and opposite bad person that needs to be.

I mean, Selena and Haley.

Selena and Haley.

I don't even know what that TikTok's drama is.

I could tell you because it's literally irrelevant and it's a good segue into our next story, which I think is about Selena, right?

It will be now because you're just moving my stories around today.

So organic we are.

Organic.

So the Selena and Haley thing is Selena.

had posted a TikTok or something just talking about,

actually, you know what?

I don't even remember what it was, but like people were like coming for Selena for something.

Like, I think it was her appearance.

And then, totally separate,

uh, Haley Bieber made a TikTok with her friends to that sound.

Um,

I'm like botching the recap of this, I just can't remember.

Uh,

just give me a second, okay.

I don't want to like, you know, start something I can't finish.

I understand, Turdy.

That's not like you.

Okay.

So Selena got body shamed after wearing, oh, Selena got body shamed after wearing a bikini on vacation.

And then, like, a few days later, Kendall, Justine Sky, and Haley Bieber posted a TikTok on Haley Bieber's page to that sound.

And I'm not saying she deserved it, but God's timing is always right.

Which is just like a really popular sound.

I don't think that like Hailey Bieber is like keeping up on what the backlash to Selena is of the day.

And everyone, and then somebody, you know, a fan account was like, how could Haley post this?

And Selena commented on that.

Yeah, victim-y.

Victimy.

Like, I don't let stuff like this get me down.

Like, thank you guys.

And honestly, just kind of fanning the flames.

Like, I think Selena was wrong for that.

Yeah, she is wrong.

And I love my queen.

She is wrong for that.

Very Morgan Evans.

Victim mentality.

Okay, got it.

So nothing burger.

Thank you.

Nothing burger.

Something burger.

Selena Gomez is opening up about gaining weight due to her lupus medication.

She says, I'm not a model and I never will be.

In a clip from a recent TikTok live stream that's since been shared on Twitter, the 30-year-old singer and actress told fans that her taking the medication for lupus often causes her to gain weight and vice versa.

When I'm taking it, I tend to hold a lot of water weight and that happens very normally.

When I'm off of it, I tend to lose weight.

I just wanted to say and encourage anyone out there who feels any sort of shame for exactly what they're going through and no one knows the real story.

What I just want people to know that you're beautiful and you're wonderful.

Yeah, we have days where maybe we feel like shit, but I would rather be healthy and take care of myself.

My medications are important, and I believe that that's what helps me.

She said, I'm not a model, never will be, and I think they're awesome, mind you.

I'm just definitely not that.

I just wanted to tell you, I love you guys, and thanks for supporting me and understanding.

And if not, go away, because honestly, I don't believe in shaming people for their bodies or anything.

So, what she's saying is,

Who says, Who says you're not perfect?

Who says you're not worth it who says you're the only one who's hurting trust me that's the price of beauty who says you're not pretty who says you're not beautiful

who says

consistent queen like she's always been she's been saying it she's been saying it she will be saying it i also appreciate her just laying it out there i know You know.

Yeah.

Like, I think this is like the third time, like this year, she's had to just acknowledge the fact that she looks different.

And I just don't really understand what it is with people on the internet.

I'm not even just saying like as it pertains to Selena, just like in general.

We are obsessed with people's weight.

Like it is so weird and it's so illusory.

Like why?

I don't know.

I think, I think.

For certain people, like it's just,

you know, certain people you're just obsessed with.

So you just care about everything about them.

I know, but like, even with celebrities, like celebrities are entitled to like keep parts of themselves

to themselves.

So, like, the fact that Celine has to get on here and explain, like, oh, I'm a little puffier because I have to take this medication.

Like, keep that to yourself.

Like, you look beautiful, you know?

Yeah.

It's so moronic.

Yeah, but I'm glad it's not, she's not letting it like take her down.

I feel like all of that could be so damaging enough to make you want to stop taking the medication because it's like, right, right.

So she's keeping on in her journey and she's blocking out the haters I have mad respect for that I do too and just like being really direct yeah direct to communicate

even though she doesn't owe people that like that's my point you know like I appreciate the directness but I'm like annoyed that she even had to be that direct that's what we were saying when she was after the golden globes being like I really like what she said like on the one hand it makes me happy the way that she's approached it but on the other hand it makes me sad that she had to approach it okay our next story is actually some really sad news bruce Willis' family has announced his diagnosis.

They say it's a relief to finally have a clear diagnosis of his condition.

In a Thursday statement, the actor's wife, his ex, Demi Moore, and his daughters all posted an update about Bruce's health on Instagram alongside a photo of him smiling on a beach.

They announced that his diagnosis is that he has frontotemporal dementia, which is quote, painful for Bruce's family, but it is finally relief to have a clear diagnosis.

Earlier in the statement, the women said that since since March, they announced the aphasia diagnosis, but the condition has progressed since then, and now they have an answer in the form of FTD.

So sad.

So sad.

They said we just reported like a few, maybe like a year ago now that he had been like struggling with his health.

I think maybe it was

Parkinson's or cancer or?

No, aphasia.

Aphasia.

And it's just like a like a laundry list.

It's so sad.

It's also dementia is like such,

I mean, all diseases are terrible, but like dementia is a really, really hard one.

Yeah.

To like see someone you love just like wither away mentally.

It's so sad.

Yeah, which has, I think, been really hard for his loved ones, but they're all like speaking out together and have each other.

And I think they really,

they only announced this yesterday, but have been really overwhelmed by all of the support.

He's such a beloved actor and person in Hollywood, like I think by people in the industry and also his fans that

there would obviously be nothing but support for him, but it's just really sad.

It is so sad.

And like I feel like he's known for like, you know, his action movies and being like a big, strong guy.

And like, this is so, you know, the antithesis of that.

So like, we should all just remember him as that guy because

I don't know if the public will ever see him again, but I'm sure he looks so different.

He's retired now.

Yeah.

Like he retired last year because the diagnosis means that he has issues with his communication and

is not able to work, but they're hoping that sharing this news will help others raise awareness about important issues that people might be suffering in public or in private.

It's so sad, honestly.

Like,

not that it's like a competition, but there's really no worse disease than dementia.

Yeah.

It's just really hard for the loved ones.

Right, right.

It's always hard to see like

someone you love going through an illness, but like there's something different about dementia.

Like it's so

like you're like the person you love most in this world is like forgetting who you are.

Yeah, they're just and they're not there.

But they're there.

Right.

They're physically there, but they're not even at all mentally there.

It's really difficult.

Yeah.

So that was really sad news from yesterday.

That is sad.

A great legacy he leaves behind.

Are you ready for our next story?

You seem like you have something to say.

I do.

Thank you so much for noticing my shift in body language.

I am ready for the next story.

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for our next story because it's all about Paris Hilton.

She's on the cover of Harper's Bazaar this month and she is dropping the act, as the headline says.

So it's her memoirs coming out this month.

Oh, right.

She just had her baby boy and she is giving her real self.

Her real self is giving an interview to Harper's Bazaar.

Obviously, over the years, it's been well documented and she's acknowledged.

You know, there's the Paris,

public Paris, and private Paris.

And I think over the past few years, those walls are really coming down for her.

It started with her documentary and just like opening up a piece of herself that she never thought she would.

And then the response from all of that has just been, I think, really validating for her and find and get garnering her the respect that she's always deserved in the industry.

So she is talking about life now, life then, her journey.

And I, it was a really great interview and I'm like so fucking excited to read her book.

Yeah, no, I also love that she just owns the fact that like very much like her front forward facing persona is not her.

And I think a lot of people, like, because we're so critical of celebrities would be like, she's so inauthentic.

But, like, I love, I think the fact that she like owns that this is very much like a character she plays makes her so authentic.

Yeah, so there's one part of the interview that was so funny.

She talked about how she likes sings her son lullabies.

She likes to sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, as well as Stars Are Blind.

But

she clarified the acoustic version.

Of course, of course.

She's so iconic, and I cannot wait.

I'm dying to know what her baby's name is.

Maximilian.

It's not.

Maximilian Hilton Room.

Maximilian is like far too normal of a name.

But her, I know, I guess her name is unique.

Yeah.

And her family names, they're not like names that they invented.

I guess Nicole is pretty.

Yeah, Nikki's pretty regular.

Regular.

But like Baron, Connor.

Yeah.

Conrad.

Conrad.

Maximilian.

They kind of go old school, too.

They're a little all over the place.

Yeah, they take it back.

Yeah, but Paris is like so different.

Like, how could she not have been famous with a name like that?

And her husband's name is Carter.

To me, like some celebrity baby names, it's like Rihanna's.

I could never guess it if I tried.

Yeah.

And I feel like Paris and Carter's like, is attainable.

I know.

I feel like it's right in front of us.

It exists.

What is it?

I don't know.

That's one that like I'm excited to find out.

Some celebrities, like,

I'm really okay if you never tell me your baby name.

I've even made peace with Kylie's baby.

What's the name?

Air.

Oh, yeah.

I literally forgot.

But no, so in the interview, she's stripped down Paris, mom Paris, you know, real,

deep voice Paris.

And I wonder now if she's going to stay this way.

Like, I don't know if this was just like she took the mask off for the interview.

There was something in the interview that just like gave me the vibe that it's like a new era for her where we won't be consistently getting the real Paris because I feel like she feels as though the world finally deserves it.

I think back and they finally understand her.

Back in 2005, like the way that they spoke about her, they cited like the Sarah Silverman jokes that were made and like the David Letterman when he made her like cry during an interview.

Like why would she ever have given a piece of herself over to the world?

But I think since the response to her documentary, she

feels seen and heard and like

open to the idea of just being herself.

But like, it's also her business is to be that girly girl.

So I know.

I don't know if she could ever really let her go and or should she, or even if she should.

But also, maybe it's just something she doesn't want to keep up like now that she's a mom like your whole perspective changes and like maybe she wants to be like the real Paris like she's still gonna DJ and how do you be like you know

like an open authentic DJ you just like play a part it's a good point it's a really good point so I feel like she'll still she'll go in and out but I think this is heralding an era where we will get more of the real Paris like I would love to see more of the real her like on her Instagram you know like just like yeah yeah popping that up.

Um,

yeah, like, hey, guys,

baby Maximilian didn't sleep last night, right?

Feeling tired.

Paris, yeah, feeling tired.

Hashtag tired.

So, anyways, it's a really great interview.

Photos are gorgeous.

And the magazine.

I want to see the baby.

The magazines are having a moment this month.

Yeah.

I had to check my calendar.

I was like, is it September?

Because they're running out the big guns.

Yeah, they are.

They're kind of killing it.

And who's on the cover of American Vogue this month?

I don't know.

Let's find out.

American Vogue.

Has it come out yet?

Maybe not.

Erica Badu.

The second coming of Erica Badu.

I think it's Badu.

Badu.

Sorry.

Um

yeah, it's definitely like it's definitely like a moment for print.

It's a moment for print.

I love that for them.

Me too in the publishing industry.

They haven't had a moment in many years print is dying not since the not September 2017

amen sis my addition

speaking of today's my anniversary I already knew that I'm not remembering right now Zach and I remember like we were talking about it this morning in bed we were like oh

baby yes sleep together sleep together actually Harry slept with us for a little last night which never happens it was so special mommy's neck is extra broken but it was how did he fall asleep so he woke up at 4 30 and that's like unusual for him.

And he just like did not want to, he didn't have a poop.

We checked everything.

He just like didn't want to go back to sleep in his crib.

So he kept falling asleep.

And I would put him in his crib sleeping.

And like a zombie, he starts crawling up

to stand.

He was craving his mama.

He was craving his mama.

So eventually, after like two hours of like this, that, this, that, I have him, I helped him fall asleep.

And then I just brought him into my bed so that he would never like, you know, get signaled that he was in the crib.

So heavenly.

That's my dream.

It was really, really sweet.

A great way to celebrate the anniversary.

100%.

It was really cute.

I would love that.

Yeah.

Oh, so happy anniversary to me.

Four years.

Happy anniversary.

Four years strong.

Wow, that is so long.

I know, right?

Yeah.

But you've been married like 20 years.

Yeah, it's 75.

When did you get married?

2017.

September will be my sixth.

Okay.

It's like five and a half, I guess.

That's pretty nice.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Being married is pretty cool.

Yeah, I highly recommend.

Speaking of someone who was married, our fifth and final story is a little familial drama that makes me sad.

But Priscilla Presley and Riley Keogh are not talking amid the battle over Lisa Marie's estate.

Oh, no.

It has been a very tense.

Wait.

Priscilla is Elvis' ex-wife.

Yes.

Lisa was the daughter.

Riley is Lisa's daughter.

Yeah.

Okay.

Just wanted to double check that.

As we stated, Lisa Marie's will was being contested by Priscilla because, you know, there was some forlorn business manager.

But the way it shook out was that Riley was the sole

executor.

Right.

Because her brother has passed.

It was meant to be Riley and Benjamin.

So Priscilla, they're now not talking about it because we said it's, it's weird that she's contesting like Riley's role.

Like that's just like,

yeah that's just not harmonious it's a little acrimonious so we didn't know what was going on but now apparently it's been a very tense and heartbreaking few weeks for Riley Keogh and Priscilla Presley amid their battle over Lisa Marie's estate an insider close to the family told entertainment tonight that the grandmother and granddaughter duo are no longer on speaking terms due to priscilla's decision to contest her daughter's will dumb riley has been mourning the loss of her mother and is heartbroken to have to deal with a trust dispute with a family member priscilla is adamant that she has a valid case and that she will prevail in court.

Riley and Priscilla aren't communicating at this time, but have been in communication through lawyers.

Yikes, that's so sad.

So sad.

And I understand like both women's sides, you know, because if Priscilla feels

more.

I understand, that's what I was going to say.

I understand Riley's more, but I do understand Priscilla's if she feels as though like her daughter's will is not her intent.

And because there was that like shady business manager, maybe there is something, you know, weird that happened.

But at the end of the day, it just makes Riley the executor like, it's not,

it's not that bad.

Right, right.

I've been seeing Riley a lot because they've started to promote the trailer and the song for Daisy Jones and the Six.

And I have to say, everything I've seen, I'm extremely unimpressed.

No, I.

And I don't even like the book.

So I liked the book and I think the show like doesn't look good.

I probably won't watch it because even the trailer, like, I can't believe I liked the book.

This looks like a book I wouldn't like.

I think everyone was miscast.

I think, except Suki Waterhouse, like, is so perfect.

But I think the main guy.

Camilla Moron was not miscast.

I think the main guy, I think Riley Keogh, I think they're all miscast.

I do think Riley Keough was a miscast.

So I also hated the book with the intensity of 10,000 Sons.

And I know I'm like the only person.

Everyone's like, you didn't like Taisy Jones of the sex.

Hated.

So I will certainly not be watching.

So I don't care.

I'm not, I'm not even feeling like let down.

You know, I thought maybe if it looked good, maybe I'd watch it, but no.

Yeah.

I'm sure it will be good because the story of the book was good and all that jazz but it's just like the

era the time and place like because it's based on like stevie nicks

yeah it just does nothing for me like the 60s vibe 70s or whatever it is yeah like whatever that groovy groovy i guess yeah i'm not very groovy no you're not like i when i think of like the bell bottom hippie you know round glasses i do not think of you and i don't think of you no for you, I definitely think of like the 50s, like, you know, women in like teacup dresses and like bobs, very brief and de camp.

That's what I, that's the decade I think of when I think of you.

That's so sweet.

And when I think of you, I think of Gen Z and how you are really the face of Gen Z.

She's just flattering me, you guys, before the weekend.

She wants to butter me up, so I'll come down on her staycation.

When I think of you, I think of the Renaissance.

That's mean.

Because your

presence has been enlightenment to all.

When I think of the Renaissance, I just think of like honestly, exclusively ugly people.

I know you think of like chubby women.

Yeah, I don't think there was like a beautiful, and that's not,

I'm not piggybacking off of what you're saying because you could be chubby and beautiful and starting a new sentence.

I just think, like, I don't think there was one beautiful person alive during the Renaissance.

I don't know.

I have no proof.

I just, I've seen pictures and everyone is ugly.

Like, I just, it's, it, and I think the Renaissance was a time of like great, you know, prosperity.

But for me, I think of the Renaissance as like dilapidated, broke down.

Like, I don't know why.

Well, maybe, it's an interesting theory, but maybe they were so ugly because they were working like on their insides and like, you know, thinking about things.

Art, literature.

Art, literature, like not beauty and looks, even though like art encompasses beauty too.

But

yeah.

Let that set that aside.

We're just like such like gallery girls right now.

We are.

Oh my gosh.

Talking about the Renaissance.

I know.

It's reminding me of my book.

Oh, sorry.

We could change the subject.

All right.

Well, that is our show, our final show of the week.

We are back on Tuesday.

Hope everyone has a great long holiday weekend.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fastest stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have a great weekend and we'll see you on on Tuesday.

Bye.

Love ya.

Bye.