Do Better, Selfie Kid: Wednesday, February 15th, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy hump day.

It is Wednesday here.

We are excited.

We are feeling a little, you know, coming off of Valentine's Day, right into hump day.

Feeling kind of excited, if you know what I mean.

Hey, Jax.

Hi Adarn.

I'm darn well.

We're feeling that amorous spirit over here at the Terst.

You know what it's giving?

What?

Amore.

That's beautiful, Claudia.

Thanks.

How was your big V-day?

Oh, you know what?

It was fabulous.

Me and Ben went to dinner.

We went out to Katsuya, which like I feel like.

Throwback.

It's giving giving like the hills.

Like I feel like they used to eat there in LA all the time.

Did you think that you went there because you were watching Laguna Beach?

100%.

I also went there because it's close to Madison Square Garden.

Like it's on 30th and 11th.

It's like Hudson Yards.

So I honestly had very low expectations, but I have to say, it was absolutely fabulous.

And I feel like the amount of fabulous places in this town is dwindling.

And when I find one, I want to share it.

So it was also very toasty, lots of toasters.

So, you know, you're eating amongst like-minded people, which is so important.

Always nice.

And then we saw Billie Joel.

I will say, I think I might need like like a billy joel break

because um

and i get it like you know billy joel has like you know hundreds of songs

and you know there's like 15 that everyone loves and he has to do you know multiple shows a year and he does want to keep playing the same 15.

And he does, but like he really has to, like, he played so many, more so than any other time, so many like unknown songs.

Like my section was sitting the whole time until the encore, which is like never a good sign, you know?

How many times have you been to Billy Joel?

This might be like my third or fourth, but the last two times were like in the span of six months.

Okay.

That's a long way.

It was great and he's great and he's so like energized and you don't really, he's like in his 70s.

He was talking about how he was born in 1949.

I'm like, holy shit, you're one year younger than the state of Israel.

Like it was crazy.

But I just felt like, you know, like play the hits.

Come on.

Especially on B-Day.

Play the love songs.

Even though the hits aren't really love songs.

That's what he was saying.

He like started out.

He's like, all right, I'm going to do a bunch of songs out love.

I don't really like have that many, but here you go.

Yeah.

So it was good.

It was great.

It was also like a great thing to do on Valentine's Day.

I feel like everyone just like does dinner and like candles, but I don't know.

It was like a fun activity.

That is fun.

I'm glad you had a fun time.

How was your V-Day?

Oh, let's talk about an update from yesterday.

Did you get flowers?

Because I didn't and I was fucking pissed.

So yes, technically I got flowers.

Must be nice.

Because,

and I don't want to complain because, you know, flowers are flowers technically.

But Zach had to run to the grocery store to get Harry some milk.

And he did bring me some grocery store roses.

And

I don't want to criticize because I didn't even get.

And then when we sat down for dinner, I literally said to Ben, I'm like, I shouldn't even have to ask this.

Like, where are my flowers?

And he was like, oh my God, I forgot.

I'm always so good with the flowers.

I'm so sorry.

And I just said, it's unacceptable.

You have one job.

And I didn't realize how important flowers are to you on Valentine's Day.

Like to me, I'm all or nothing.

Like either we're going to dinner, you're getting me flowers and a gift or

forget about it.

I just, I'm in like in the last few years, I feel like gifts for me in the place that I'm in in my life, like gifts are so unnecessary.

And Ben loves giving gifts, but I've told him like, I don't need anything.

It's so wasteful.

Like, don't get me gifts.

But that doesn't mean I don't want a curd and some flowers.

Yeah, oh curd.

Yeah curds were hell by the wayside yesterday, but we're making plans for our anniversary because we really we didn't like do anything yesterday.

We just like acknowledged each other.

I got my grocery store flowers.

Um but we're gonna put it all to Friday because like oh my god, we have no energy.

I can imagine.

But it's important.

You got to make time for each other.

I know I know, but you know, we have a one-year-old, so it's just,

it's crazy times.

No, for sure.

And, like, I totally, I believed Ben when he said he forgot.

Like, I don't think he had bad intentions.

He was like, and I know he's like so stressed and so busy with work, like, spritz stuff.

They're like raising money.

Like, I, and I get it.

Like, and I see when he comes home from work, like, how stressed he is.

So I'm not minimizing that, but I'm sorry.

It's unacceptable.

And it's like, you guys were celebrating Valentine's Day.

Like, you made plans.

I'm sure you made the reservation.

I'm sure you got the tickets.

Like, I did.

He had one job.

What, he just showed up?

Does he expect to be like whined and dined on Valentine's Day?

Like, what did he do do to contribute to Valentine's Day?

I'm so glad you brought that up because we talked about this before, but he's like, but I made the reservation.

Sir, I literally asked you for a week to make the reservation.

A week.

I texted you so many times reminding you about it.

Of course, you did not do it.

And then on Monday night, you made the reservation.

And then we ended up changing it the day of.

So I don't know.

That's like,

I'm not swept away by that.

No, I'm not.

I'm not swept away by that for you.

And like, if I was in, if I, if this was like two years ago and Zach and I were married, but like, we didn't have kids and like we were celebrating Valentine's Day, like I would not be happy with those.

And I, Ben is so extreme.

Like, either he has to buy me, you know, a home

or I get nothing.

And it's like, I don't want either.

Like, I don't want a new purse.

Like, I just want flowers.

And I know when I get home today, I know like the biggest arrangement and some flowers that were on sale and some choppy cards.

I told him, I said, please do not send me flowers tomorrow.

There is nothing sadder and will make me feel like a bigger fucking loser than getting flowers on Wednesday.

Please do not do it.

And also it's like, whatever happened to, you know, sending flowers to your girl at work?

Like, I know, dream big, but imagine you walked to the studio and like there were flowers waiting for you and you were genuinely surprised.

I love flowers.

And I think maybe that's why I don't really like that Miley Cyrus song.

Because yeah, I could buy myself flowers, but don't make me.

Yeah, I agree.

It's not about the money spent.

It's about like

the thought behind them and who is sending them.

Honestly, I don't think there's a moment in like a woman's life that makes you feel more special than like coming home and there's like a road, and you don't know who it's from, and you have to look at the card and you're like, oh my God, he was thinking of me.

Like, it's so special.

And Ben took that away from me.

I'm glad you could come on here and,

you know, vent.

Yeah, and I vented to bed last night and like I like he felt so bad.

So like I felt bad like hounding him.

But I'm sorry.

It's unacceptable.

Unacceptable.

I understand.

He's definitely going to try and do something to make it up for it and it's just going to make it worse.

100%.

I told him last night I'm like, do not.

I'm like, let's just let bygones be bygones.

Don't let it happen again.

Please do not do anything extreme.

Yeah.

He will.

But we have a great show today because it's Wednesday, which means we're going to be helping out some toasters in need.

We've got three submissions from three girlies who are just desperate for some good old Jackson Claude advice, and we're going to do our best.

We will.

I feel like we've been giving good advice recently.

So I'm excited to see what you've got for us.

We've also got some gorgeous starries.

Gorgeous starries.

I'm excited to talk about them.

Me too.

So

without further ado, shout out.

I think.

Goodness gracious.

Okay.

Without further ado, did it do?

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

Without further ado about all the things our husbands didn't do yesterday.

With all the things our husbands didn't

do.

Here, we're going to move on with our year and they can try again next year.

Best of luck.

Best of luck.

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Thank you, Turdy.

You're welcome.

Okay, our first story: some Valentine's Day new couple news.

Emrata and Eric Andre share steamy pics from Naked Valentine's Day date.

Eric Andre posted photos of him and his rumored girlfriend, Emily Radikowski, hanging out in the buff on Instagram for Valentine's Day.

He wrote, Happy Valentine's Day.

It's a picture of him naked on a couch with a heart emoji covering his penis.

Meanwhile, Emrata is in the background.

You can see her in the mirror taking the picture naked as well.

It's a lot.

Why did you choose this story?

Because now I have, I have no choice.

I chose this story because she's on our list of eligibles.

She's confirming she's with a new man.

And she's confirming in a really big way that doesn't leave any room for ambiguity or maybe they're just business partners.

So like I know

this is how you

even know this is how you and I usually conduct our business meetings.

100%.

I know we live in a day and age where like we can do all this stuff.

You know, we can be naked on Instagram and be disgusting.

But just because we can

begs the question, does that mean we should?

And I,

I'm sorry.

Like I thought, you know what?

I don't want to be like negative and judgmental, but like.

I don't know.

I saw this picture.

I'm like, this is gross.

Like this house looks dirty.

Like I just took like, I was like, I can't even imagine what's on that couch.

Like there was a butthole on the couch.

Like, I don't know.

Like, I just, these are two people who are like successful.

And, like, I had a certain image of them in my mind.

And now I think they're gross.

Sorry.

Like, I hate to be so negative.

I don't know if I'm going to get like backlash for that.

I'm like, this was gross.

I do agree.

I mean, like, any new relationship, they were spotted at the basketball game.

Basketball game.

Go dogs at the basketball game.

I was that sorry.

Like baseball.

I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were spotted at the game and it was like, oh, are they, aren't they?

Because, you know, she was just with Pig Davidson and she's like the bachelorette of New York City.

So it was like cute and like, you know, keeping us on our toes.

Yeah.

And now there is zero mystery.

Bring back the mystery.

Yeah, I don't know what it is with people.

It's like, is nothing sacred anymore?

Like, don't get me wrong.

Like, yes, I know that people who are romantically involved probably walk around their houses naked together.

I have been married.

Like, I know that these things happen.

I never really have any interest in seeing other people do it.

Do you know what I mean?

No, and like

some things are meant for the privacy of your own life.

I know.

And I don't know.

Something about this photo, I don't know if it was like the red couch that was giving like very Playboy Mansion.

It's not red.

It's dark gray.

Oh my God, I could have sworn it was a red couch.

Mandela effect.

I don't know.

And like the really cluttered house in the back.

Like it was just, it was giving, it was giving like stye, you know?

No.

Like a pig style.

Oh, I thought you meant like a sty in your eye.

I was like, why?

Because like if someone's lazy on the couch where his butt was, then they'll get 100%.

It's appropriate there too.

It applies.

I don't know.

I just like the whole, the whole thing was gross.

I'm sorry.

I hate to be negative, but

that's how I felt.

I agree.

But I guess they're together.

So what do you think about the coupling?

Like, I don't care.

Oh, okay.

Who is that?

He's an actor, comedian.

His face is so familiar.

So familiar.

He's in a lot of stuff.

He's also in a lot of animated stuff, which wouldn't explain why his face is familiar.

But for me, I best know him from the internship.

Got it.

Okay.

Who does he play in the internship?

He plays just like one of the higher-ups at Google, who's very googly-y and who's always on their case.

Oh, sorry.

I was thinking of the intern.

Also incredible, but very different.

Google is in the internet.

Okay, I understand what you're saying.

I don't care.

Like, I honestly, I'm not, I feel like there are a lot of women out there who are in Emrata's target demographic.

And I believe I am the antithesis of her demographic.

Yeah.

I agree.

Same here.

So she doesn't do it for me.

Yeah.

And I don't care.

Okay, well, she's, she's coupled up, so we'll take her off the list.

And I'm happy that these two have found love in such, what is clearly such like a meaningful way because they're going all the way.

Well, I also do think part of this, I have to, I have to imagine, is like a big middle finger to her ex.

Like, you know, he cheated on her, right?

And

she's like, I think a little bit at least, just like shoving it in his face.

And that's something I can get on board with.

Yeah.

But the whole world is also watching.

Like, I don't know.

It's yeah, no, it's a lot.

It's just a lot.

It's a lot.

Yeah.

But hopefully the love is

real

yeah

are you ready for our next story

some movie news probably blockbuster movie news because lady gaga is seen as harley quinn for the first time in the joker sequel photo so

we have gotten a sneak peek at lady gaga and joaquin phoenix's big screen bad romance to celebrate valentine's day on tuesday warner brothers released the first official look image from the two actors in joker falia Doo the upcoming musical sequel excuse me it's called Joker

colon

F-O-L-I-E

space F-O-L-I-E okay space a with a nepostrophy on top uh-huh space d e U X

Folly Ado Folly Ado

Okay, the upcoming musical sequel to the Oscar-winning 2019 film, The Joker.

She is playing Harley Quinn while he is reprising his role as The Joker and they another romantic story between these two.

Who knew she was playing Harley Quinn in this Joker sequel?

Yeah, I don't know if them releasing the photo was like an announcement or people had already known that.

I don't really keep up with like, you know, those types of movies.

Yeah.

I love this for Lady Gaga, like this kind of franchise is giving very much like Marvel, DC.

Like these are real major blockbuster films.

And she's really in the last year,

cemented herself as like an actress.

She really is like a triple threat.

And I'm so glad you brought up Lady Gaga because yesterday I had some downtime and I did go down like a rabbit hole of watching Super Bowl halftime shows.

I watched Katy Perry's and Lady Gaga's.

And in terms of like how I remember them, like I remember Katy Perry's as being like, and it was,

but Lady Gaga's was even better than I imagined.

Like she did fucking everything.

She flew through the sky with the greatest of ease.

She sang.

She danced.

she played that like guitar piano thing.

She had like a quiet moment with the piano.

You're giving me a million reasons to let you go.

It was just, she also like, you know,

she was just, it was everything.

She gave all of herself.

She was also being crazy.

And it was.

She was being psychotic.

And she throws the ball and jumps at the end.

Yep.

And when she jumped off the roof

to start.

Yeah.

But it was so, she started off with God bless America.

And these drones behind her were meant to look like stars.

And then they all changed to red, white, and blue and created a flag.

And it was really, it was, it had everything.

It was beautiful.

Yeah.

I agree.

Katy Perry's was more like commercial.

Yes, yes.

And it was so

like kitschy almost.

Like tongue-in-cheek.

But I loved it.

I remember watching it and I loved it.

I'm sure if I watch it back, I loved it.

But Lady Gaga's was a little more like artistic.

Oh, and like Katy Perry did bring out Lenny Kravitz to to sing a song with her and Missy Elliott.

I forgot about the Missy Elliott part who did like two songs with her.

So it really wasn't like a one-woman show in the way that Lady Gaga's was.

Yes, agreed.

But they did, we did have a headliner.

A choice was made.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, Lady Gaga's been pretty quiet recently, so I guess she's been filming her movie.

I think this is going to be a huge movie because the first one was huge too.

Yeah.

And by the way, she's always like, you know, starting rumors with her leading men.

Like, do, is Joaquin Phoenix single?

No, I think he's with with Rooney Mara.

Yeah, me too.

That's like such an iconic, dark couple.

Iconic.

And they've been together a couple of years.

Megan Fox.

Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly wish they were as dark authentically as Rooney Mara and Joaquin Phoenix because those are two like authentically twisted individuals, very natural.

And I feel like Megan Fox and Megan Kelly are just like playing a part of like, yes, we are sharing blood of a pack.

Yeah.

Also, Megan, Fox, Kelly are, they're doing like a lot right now.

Like they were seen like leaving a couple's couple's counseling building.

Yeah, that was weird.

But they are spending Valentine's Day together.

The whole thing, everyone who fell for it, not me, because I wasn't going to choose it as a story.

They're together and they're just being annoying.

No, they have what started out as like kind of like everyone shipping, being obsessed, has turned into like they're like giving PR.

Yeah.

Everything they do.

Well, it makes sense because the initial relationship and the initial love was great for PR.

Yeah, no, and it really revitalized them.

We were just talking about that.

Like it was so good individually for both of them.

And I think it was like, they really did fall in love.

So it was really a win-win.

And then I think they just got so used to that level of fame that it became so manufactured.

And it's so like annoying to see.

Yeah, agreed.

I love this choice for Lady Gaga.

I know she's really kind of...

I think, I think she's really hunting an Oscar.

She's won one for music, but I think for acting.

I think everyone thought House of Gucci was going to be that for her, and it wasn't.

I don't know it.

Like Joaquin Phoenix was nominated for the Joker.

I don't know if this is really the type of role you get nominated for.

I think she could be nominated if her performance is amazing, but it's not like a shoe-in.

Like, House of Gucci is kind of like a shoe-in type of movie where you get nominated.

Yeah, this is like, you know, touch and go, but happy for everyone that there's a sequel.

I never saw the first one.

I would maybe, I mean, I probably won't see this, but I would maybe see it because Lady Gaga's in it.

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

She's bringing a whole new demo.

She is.

I wonder if her and Joaquin got along.

I feel like they did.

They did.

They're probably really similar in a sense.

They're like, you know,

artists experience fame really young.

They're both like a little troubled, you know, emotional artists.

Yeah, that's, I could see them getting along.

I also couldn't really see Joaquin doing a movie with someone that he doesn't get along with.

And because like this is his movie, he did the first one.

And like, you know, there's no joker sequel without Joaquin.

Like I could imagine he had a say in who got this part, like who he wants to work with.

Yeah.

Totally random.

Like like change of subject tangent do you ever feel like i'm alone in the studio right now do you ever feel like you're not alone like i can't explain it i feel like a presence in this room i feel like there's a mouse i have no proof but i just feel like i'm sharing this space with a rodent i can feel it

No way.

So if you see me like looking around, not at you today, I'm feeling like a creature in my presence.

Or maybe it's like the spirit of somebody who passed.

I feel like Teresa Caputo, who's the young man who passed suddenly.

I think it's a spirit.

I think it's the ghost of Sneak who's passed.

Oh, I do feel this.

Maybe that's why I'm feeling like scared.

And the Ghost of Sneak just passed is like a really haunted spirit.

Yeah, it's not like it's not a friendly spirit.

It's definitely someone, you know, haunting.

It's not a Casper.

No, no, it's not Casper.

I would feel lighter than air if Casper was in here today.

No.

Of course.

No, I'm just

putting it out there.

I feel a presence in the room.

Presence.

Wait, I'm going to hold the Sans.

Presence.

Make yourself known.

Ah!

No, I'm kidding.

I scared myself.

Oh my gosh.

I really thought like a light would flicker, honestly.

Like that would be so crazy.

Or maybe it's just a mouse.

Yeah, probably.

And like if the light flickered, it was because like he chewed through the cord, you know?

100%.

Hopefully our connection stays strong though.

Yeah, hopefully he doesn't touch my Ethernet cable.

Hopefully he doesn't cause a lag that would cause us to lash out at one another.

Hopefully there's no lashing out due to a lag.

That would be terrible.

It's due to a mouse with a lag.

The mouse with the lag.

Children's book.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah, ma'am.

Speaking of children, the story I found to be very disturbing.

I don't know if you saw this, but we were just talking about Justin Timberlake's Super Bowl performance.

Selfie kid.

Oh, no.

Who's been arrested in a mall fight.

The selfie kid who snapped a viral photo with Justin Timberlake at the end of the Singers 2018 Super Bowl halftime show spent his past Super Bowl weekend very differently.

Ryan McKenna, who's now 18, was arrested Saturday at a shopping mall in Naples, Florida, where he was allegedly drunk and fighting with friends inside a CPK, according to TMZ.

Honestly, sounds like an iconic night out.

Drunk at CPK?

But I guess he's, I keep associating him as like 15.

A 12-year-old.

No, 15, but he's 18.

So I guess 18-year-olds, you know, do drink.

But he, like, he shot to stardom after he took his selfie.

And now he's just like.

All right.

I guess we're, you know, using the word stardom fast and loose these days.

We are.

Like, what he achieved was stardom.

How many followers does he have, Turdy?

How many?

I'm going to look.

I just remember, and I remember we talked about it.

Selfie Kid

was like coming off the heels of a lot of like really viral moments that happened so organically.

And Selfie Kid felt like he was kind of like an industry plant.

Like no one was making him go viral.

And everyone was like, the selfie kid has gone viral.

It's like, really?

We're not talking about him.

No, totally.

He has.

It was so many.

Okay, he has 445K.

I thought he was in the millions.

This is literally like the weirdest story.

I know.

I don't even know what to say.

Do better, selfie kid.

Do better.

Do better, selfie kid.

Like he had such opportunity.

And he.

Did he?

Apparently, a a 15 year old boy greeted cops at the restaurant and reportedly told them that he and the social media star who was his friend had been in an argument that escalated with selfie kid allegedly standing up and aggressively pushing their table he supposedly screamed obscenities at the boy's girlfriend too

wait let me ask you a question how did like who put together that like this random 18 year old relatively unknown brian mc was

was the selfie kid like who's reporting this tmz the original was tmz

so are they they have like a a database of like people with remotely famous names and if they come up in any sort of like police like who would be looking for this who would put it together because I couldn't tell you selfie kid kids first not even last just first name I could not tell you it if you paid me a hundred million dollars

I don't know I don't know who put this together Because I feel like this is something like he could have got arrested and like, you know, years later, like he could have shared that he had been arrested.

Like we didn't know.

You know what I mean?

Breaking news.

Also, it's just worth noting that selfie kid's mother told the outlet that her son was not under the influence and he was play fighting with his friend after one of them pulled his chair out from under him

sure

whatever you say mom

sure

do better like her mom like do better selfie kid like i'm really disappointed in you okay Educate yourself.

And like for the fellow diners at CPK, they deserve better.

Yeah, I hope that they all got, you know, their meals properly compensated.

They probably didn't.

Yeah.

Maybe it was one of the diners who recognized him.

Perhaps.

Perhaps there was a big loser at CPK that night.

Because who would recognize Selfie Kid five years later?

Three.

Whatever.

He looks pretty.

This is

so funny.

Like, I can't.

I literally feel like I'm high.

I'm like, this is so dumb.

Like,

I feel like I literally smoked pot.

Oh my God.

So

good.

That's really shit you can only find out here at the toast.

We are so special.

We are so different.

We are.

And I feel like since we were just talking about Super Bowl halftime shows, we were talking about

Selfie Kid.

I'm surprised we didn't ask, like, where is Selfie Kid now?

Drunk at CBK.

Because we don't care.

Because we don't care.

That's why we didn't ask.

I wonder if he does like any social media like stuff, if he's monetized his brand.

You know, I think if he ever were to write a book, Drunk at CBK would be a good title for it.

Yeah, I'd read it.

Or it would be like a play on the word selfie, like self-ish.

From selfie to selfless.

Totally.

My journey to finding Christ or something like that.

Looks like he's just chilling with his friends.

Good.

Living a normal life.

Taking lots of selfies, I hope.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I guess that's his thing.

That is the, that was a bad, that was just bad.

Like, he could take a selfie.

That's so cute.

He's 15 years old and he's at the Super Bowl and Justin Timberlake walked past him.

But for like then him to go on Ellen because he took a selfie, like what's wrong with everyone?

No, how low is the bar, you know?

Yeah.

I wonder what Justin Timberlake thinks of him.

He kind of extra

moment.

I'm sure he fucking hates him.

Yeah, because I feel like Justin Timberlake is like a massive like pussy diva like egomaniac.

Yeah, and anything that like takes a spotlight off of him during his big night.

I'm sure he was like throwing glasses against the wall.

Also, like Selfie Kid doesn't not look like him.

Yeah, no, they were definitely like, you know,

seeing each other.

It's a similar vibe.

Oh, my God.

Here.

Yeah.

Like then at like the iHeartRadio Music Festival in 2018, Selfie Kid took another selfie with Justin Timberlake.

Oh, yeah.

And Justin Timberlake's just like.

Oh, I'm not a sister.

Yeah.

Justin Timberlake, by the way, you heard in your verse, Justin Timberlake hates selfie.

Justin Timberlake is the one who who called TMZ.

He has a Google alert.

Oh my God, literally.

Waiting to cancel him.

Literally.

That's such a good story.

Put an end to this long nightmare.

Once and for all.

And the madness.

Okay.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Which is kind of the opposite news to Selfie Kid being drunk at CPK.

Okay.

Lucy Hale has celebrated one year of sobriety after a private journey of self-love.

You know what?

I saw this on her Instagram because we follow each other.

And I was like, oh, one year.

Who is she dating?

Because the last time we spoke about her, she was taking those stage pictures with Colton at Run Year.

Yeah, last time we spoke about her, she was dating Skeet Ulrich.

Was she?

Oh my God, I don't even remember that.

Yeah, they went on some dates.

Oh, that's like...

kind of cute, but like a little age-inappropriate.

Oh, she's 33.

She can date who she wants.

Oh, 33, I guess.

Yeah.

I will always see her as Arya, like 12 years old.

So I was like, oh man, who is she dating?

And then I read the caption and I was like, so weirdly, like, proud and happy for her.

I'm like, that's amazing.

Agreed.

I had the same experience.

She marked one year of sobriety last month.

The star told her Instagram followers, that's me and Claudia, in an alternate,

alternative Valentine's Day post on Tuesday.

that she has abstained from alcohol since January 2022.

She said, this is a post about self-love and about the greatest thing I've ever done.

On January 2nd, 2023, I celebrated one year of sobriety.

While this journey has mostly been private, I felt compelled to let anyone who is struggling know that you are not alone and you are loved.

She got a ton of support from her former PLL co-stars on her Instagram.

And I just thought that was awesome.

Me too.

I was so like moved by that.

I love that for her.

I feel like it's so hard to do, especially in Hollywood where like, you know.

Temptation is everywhere.

It's everywhere.

And really, in order to like get ahead, you always have to be like hobnobbing and drinking and partying with these different people.

And it's so toxic.

And you know what?

I just, I loved this.

I'm so happy for her.

I really wish her the best on her sobriety journey.

Yeah, me as well.

Me as well.

But not as much as, like, I wish her more well than you.

So I kind of feel like, I know you guys follow each other, but I kind of feel like I'm the bigger fan.

You actually are like a huge Lucy Hale fan.

Like, you watch every show she comes out with that never gets renewed for a second season, Queen.

Yeah, except for that one that was on CW.

I didn't watch that.

But I watched Katie Keene.

Yeah.

And every movie, like, if it's Lucy Hale, I'm watching it.

Did you see her in the hating game?

No.

It was like one of my spicy books that they turned into a movie.

And she played the girl.

And the girl's name in the book was Lucy.

I just

feel like the concept of that book, I hate Enemies to Lovers.

Oh, my God.

I love Enemies to Lovers.

That's my least favorite trope.

So I just...

For that reason, it wasn't like a Lucy thing.

It was a me thing.

The movie was good.

But Enemies to Lovers is not my favorite trope.

It's a good one.

My favorite trope is like childhood.

Childhood best friends, borderline lovers, big drama.

They don't speak for years.

Reconnect in their late 20s.

Do you think that you have a personal interest in that because of Maverick?

You are so sick and twisted.

Like, no.

Do you think that Ben didn't get you flowers because he knows like how you feel about Maverick?

He's like, why does it?

Because he knows it's a fruitless endeavor.

Because he's like, why doesn't Maverick get you flowers?

Oh, you want flowers so bad?

I'll tell Maverick.

Perhaps, maybe I'll, when we fight about it later, I'll bring that up and see if that played any sort of factoring role.

Let me ask you something else.

Please, if you just said to Ben the word Maverick, would he have any idea what that means?

You know what?

Should I just text him and be like, do you know what Maverick is?

Say, do you know who Maverick is?

That's such a great question.

I don't know because he like never listens listens to this podcast.

But he read your book.

He did.

Do you know who Maverick is?

Question mark.

All right, I'll keep you all updated.

He actually has an important meeting at 11.

He's definitely not going to answer, but

we tried.

I think

this is more important.

I think so too.

I think you should step out of the meeting.

I think you should probably postpone it.

Oh, you're cracking me up today, turd.

We are being funny today.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

The finals.

Yeah.

I see you checking your phone, wondering.

By the way, my phone's on Do Not Disturb, so I wasn't checking.

I was kind of just like giving a sexy shoulder, so I looked left.

Final.

You know what I mean?

I really wasn't looking at my phone.

Oh, okay.

Literally.

I was also just, I was scouring the floor for mice.

Literally?

Sure.

You are so disgusting.

Wait, let me see if he answered.

No.

He didn't answer.

Okay, our fifth and final story is some actually big news for kids today and kids from the 90s.

Because Barney is back, bitches.

Barney is back and snatched.

Mattel is relaunching the iconic purple dinosaur for kids and adults.

Okay, calm down about the adults.

Yeah.

Mattel is putting a fresh spin on the Barney franchise.

The toy company is planning to revitalize the famous purple dinosaur with a new presence across TV, film, YouTube, and kids products such as toys, books, and clothes.

The company said the Barney relaunch is the latest example of Mattel mining the incredible depth and breadth of its IP portfolio to relaunch heritage franchises, aka they can't find new ideas, so they're going into the archives.

No, actually, let me tell you how I think this is really smart.

No, I think this is a good idea.

And like, I don't think this is because they couldn't think of anything better, but I think, you know, you can build a brand around like a kid's, you know,

pet monkey and it'll be popular.

But But

to revitalize a brand that people, that the people who were obsessed with are now probably moms and dads.

So it's like, all right, I'm buying my kids a toy.

Oh, I grew up with Barney or this newfangled vampire.

Like, I'm going to go with Barney.

You know, 100%.

And I know Barney and I know what he stands for.

And I don't have to worry about it.

But yeah, I trust him.

And it's like, we watched Barney and we turned out great.

Like, you want that same thing for your kids.

And I feel like even when I've thought about like, what I want to turn on for Harry, it's like, well, what did I watch?

I watched Barney.

Like, how can I give him Barney?

So I'm so, so here for this.

And I just hope that like the Barney we know and love and the integrity of Barney stays the same.

Like, of course, they modernized his look.

They chiseled his jawline.

A lot of people were joking that he got in on the buckle fat removal trend because his jowls are completely gone.

But he's still, you know, our plus size king.

Oh my God.

Literally, nobody has done more for the body positivity movement than Barney.

Yeah.

So I just hope that they don't change too much about him.

They just like, they have the new look.

He'll be on YouTube.

He'll have his TV and movies.

And of course it will be like more HD than what we used to watch.

But like, I want those same messages of friendship, of love.

Of love.

I love you.

You love me.

We're a happy

family with the great big hug and a kiss from me to you.

Won't you say you love

me too?

Yeah, no, beautiful message.

And it kind of became this springboard, this kind of like Mickey Mouse club for young talent.

You know, Selena Gomez was a Barney actor, and so was Demi Lovato.

Like it was this breeding ground for stardom.

And I don't know, maybe, maybe we got to send Harry.

Maybe we do, but we also have to remember that like things got took a dark turn with Barney.

Well, did that documentary ever come out?

It did come out, I believe, just because it's been so long.

And I don't know that anyone watched it.

Okay, because they said someone was releasing a documentary that there was a dark side to Barney.

No, not to Barney, but to the

community, the fandom.

Like the title was, I love you, you hate me.

And it was about the hate that Barney received, the death threats, the threats on his life.

I actually would be really kind of interested to see that documentary.

And I have to say, maybe, you know, this timing is not so coincidental on Mattel's part, kind of trying to

make people forget about some of the things that came out in that documentary.

I can't, I don't think anything came out that was damning about Barney himself or even like the set that he cultivated.

Right.

That's what I thought the documentary was going to be about.

It's like, oh no, a documentary about it, about a TV show that mainly casted kids.

Kill me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it wasn't that you're right.

It was like some errant fans.

Cause like Barney's someone that like, you know, you could lose your mind over.

I mean, I get it.

We did.

We were obsessed.

Obsessed.

This is what they said.

In creating the new series, it was important to us that we properly reflect the world that kids today live in so that the series can deliver meaningful lessons about navigating it.

With our modern take on Barney, we hope to inspire the next generation to listen, care, and dream big.

We think that parents, many of whom will fondly remember the original Barney from their own childhoods, will love the show too.

It's a brilliant marketing move.

Tug on the heartstrings of the kids and the parents.

I think Barney's about to be relaunched as another billion-dollar brand for Mattel.

Good for them.

Agreed, but not too modern, Barney.

Calm yourself.

Yeah, no.

No, the thing with kids' shows is like, you really, it's a simple formula, you know?

Yeah.

And the ones that have been around forever, they all do the same shit, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

I just, like, I don't want to see radical Barney.

That's not what I want to see.

Oh, I kind of would love that.

Like, Barney going off the deep end, like, kind of obsessed.

Like, Barney is a socialist from our imagination.

Wait, how did that song go?

Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination.

When he's on his money gone,

insane

some sensation.

It's made from me to you.

Fire bops.

Let's keep up the fire bops with this, you know, Barney 2.0.

Yeah, like the bar is high for Barney.

And so while I'm so here for this movie, I think it's brilliant.

Yeah.

No, you're right.

Fuck it up.

In the words of the late, not late, the great RuPaul, good luck and don't fuck it up.

Literally.

Are we ready to dive into Deer Toasters?

My absolute favorite part of the week?

Born ready.

The reason why I get out of bed on Mondays?

On Mondays?

Yeah, like knowing like, okay, it's back to work, but at least I'll be saving lives on Wednesday.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

I didn't know that's how you like plan your week.

Yeah, I know.

There's a lot you don't know about me, Jackie.

I just take things day by day.

You're such a day-by-day girl.

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Alrighty, ready for some deer toasters?

Ready to save the girlies?

I'm so ready.

Hello, Jackson Claude.

Love you guys.

I have a friend who has been copying me for as long as I've known her.

She'll copy my ideas, my fashion, my jokes, and just key personality traits and make them her own.

I honestly think she doesn't notice that she's doing this.

I'll say something super specific about a movie we are watching, and like two minutes later, she'll make the exact same comment.

I also have a unique sense of fashion, and she's always copying me.

For example, if I make wearing bright orange all winter my personality trait, she'll randomly say she's obsessed with orange.

I used to take it as flattery, but now it's annoying.

And I hate that my jokes are now hers too.

How do I bring this up to her?

Because it's such a weird thing to go to your friend and say, stop copying me.

Um,

yeah, you can't really say anything without sounding like so petty.

And for me, I know it's easier said than done, but it's like, I wouldn't enjoy being friends with someone who doesn't have an original thought and who's just like constantly copying me.

Like, what does she bring to the friendship?

Why do you still hang out with her?

I just want to say, like, I have a totally different take on this.

Maybe it's because, like,

yes, jokes I am great at, but, like, no one's ever, like, marveled at my style and, like, wanted to copy everything that I do.

Um, so I would find it flattering.

Yeah, until a point.

But I think, if anything, like, you being like, you're the orange girl and then, like, your friend shows up wearing orange, like, it makes her look like a loser and, like, you look like cool.

Like, I would kind of just, like, let her keep embarrassing herself.

Yeah, but I just don't understand why someone who's like so unoriginal, like, what.

How did you two even meet?

No, and like, why do you keep hanging out if like you're watching a movie and she's just like parroting back what you said?

Like, what do you guys talk about if you're just talking to yourself?

But I also think there are instances when you can call it out.

Like, okay, so you made a comment about a movie and two minutes later,

she made a comment.

That's the perfect scenario to be like, girl, like, I, and like, make it into a joke.

Be like, okay, not you literally saying what I just said five seconds ago.

Like, call it out.

So it's like, at least maybe she doesn't even know she's consciously doing it, but like at least everyone in the room will know and you can do it in like a funny way.

And then when she shows up wearing orange, be like, yes, I love that you like say something.

Like

living for orange, It's giving Catherine or whatever your name is.

Like it's giving, it's giving colours.

But then you sound like so egotistical.

It's like you didn't invent the color.

Well, her ego is only that big because everyone's copying her.

And she sounds fabulous, I just want to say.

No, I totally agree.

I mean orange.

We're all wearing it.

I think we're all wearing orange this winter.

Do you see my outfit today?

Full orange.

It's orange.

It's orange.

In the winter.

In the winter.

That's really annoying.

I really don't know what you could do.

I think here and there you could say like wait I just said that or wait I just did that but it does kind of make you look small.

It's like petty.

You're clearly the more original, creative, fabulous friend.

Why must we put down this one who doesn't have those things?

No, but you know, at a certain point, like, we're all adults, like, okay, you don't want to, you're not so creative.

That's fine.

Nobody has to be, not everyone has to be like the most creative person, but like, own it.

Like, stop, just like be the not creative girl.

Don't be the girl who copies.

That's fucking embarrassing.

Yeah.

It's better to like own who you are as like a not super like out there creative person than to like try so hard to be someone else.

Try to be someone you're not.

Yeah, like we're kind of like I kind of feel bad for this girl.

Me too.

I like have sympathy for the girl who copies.

Yeah, she has like no sense of self.

Yikes.

Yikes.

So like just take it from that perspective.

Like don't be so hard on her.

She's like, she honestly sounds like a loser.

Like for real.

Okay.

Ready?

Hello, Jackson.

Hello, Jackson McTurd.

Love you, girl.

I love you when I go to McDonald's and I order the McTurd.

I know, but they're always out of it.

It's so annoying because it's so popular.

Yeah, it's just like the McPlant.

Yeah.

A myth.

I listen to you guys so much that I'm pretty sure my baby's first words will be good morning millennials.

My sister and I are huge fans and we've been dying to get your input on the situation.

I'm a military wife slash new mama, so I live far away from my friends.

Thank you for your service.

Amen.

I live far away from my friends and family.

I had a baby this past June and I went back to working from home in September.

I found what I thought was a perfect babysitter.

We only need her once a week.

She's a young college-age girl who claims to be dog-friendly and great with babies.

She takes good care of the basic needs of my baby, feeds him, changes him, puts him down for naps.

But anything other than that, she sucks.

This girl leaves my baby in the playpen as she raids our cabinets and fridge and freezer and cleans us out.

I'm talking Costco-sized package of tortellini gone after lunch.

I've caught her putting leftovers, water bottles, tampons in her backpack.

Side note, note, when she started babysitting, I asked her what she likes to eat so I can keep it in the house for her, which I do.

She ignores my dog when he barks or just tells him no and locks my dog out of the room so he can't play with his baby brother, which causes him to stand outside the door and bark relentlessly in a panic until I text her to let him in.

If we cancel babysitting less than 72 hours in advance, we have to pay her for the whole day.

She asked us to pay her when my grandma died.

We are desperate because there are slim pickings of babysitters where we live, but I feel like she's taking advantage of our desperation and kindness.

I really want to stay working because it's remote, so I can keep my job and my license as we move from state to state every few years.

What should I do?

Should I fire her, quit my job, and just be a stay-at-home mom full-time?

Or am I being too critical and as just an overprotective mom?

Sincerely, a confused new working mama.

The hunger thing is interesting and the tampons.

I get cons is like college kids are always on a budget.

Like, I could see them like throwing an extra water bottle in their backpack.

But honestly, the tampon things gives me pause.

It kind of sounds like, I know this is crazy, but she sounds homeless.

Well, she's only with them one day a week, right?

That's what she said.

Yes.

No, but I understand like what a college-age person, like it's like when you go back to your parents, you steal toilet paper.

Yeah, but one, she's not her parents, but two, like the food stuff, even though like Costco size tortellini is a lot of food, like you take like you open the door to be like, we'll have food for you.

So like, okay, you can't judge that she eats so much.

But like, no, taking tampons, like, that's just like, that's inappropriate.

Um,

no, and Jackie, at the end of the day, taking something without someone's permission is stealing.

No, but like, taking the tortellini without asking and eating all of it and eating and being a chaza, like, because that's what she's being and she's taking advantage of the situation.

That's, it's uncouth, but it's not,

I think, fireable considering your.

Pickings are slim.

But it sounds like you have all of these issues with her.

I would try as hard as you could to find someone else because you shouldn't get your job.

You should keep practicing.

It's one day a week.

And it's not even like she's amazing with

the kids.

She does the bare minimum.

She does the bare minimum.

Yeah.

I mean, anything she eats in your house on your time, she's 100% entitled to.

It's the packing up of stuff without asking permission that I just feel like is a slippery slope.

It's just taking advantage and it's not,

it's not right.

And yeah, I mean, the dog thing I kind of understand.

Me too.

Cause you have a little baby and it's hard to watch both at the same time.

And sometimes like I'll be doing something with Harry and I'll have brew like outside the play pen just because like I'm watching Harry.

So that I do sort of get though.

The barking is annoying.

Maybe you have a sit down and talk with her if you really can't find someone else.

Just kind of like a statement of work being like, um

expectations and we're happy, you know, to get you things that you want when you're here.

You're welcome to what's in the pantry.

But we find it to be a little rude when you take things home with you.

It feels like you're taking advantage of our kindness.

Right.

Like if the girl was working and got her period and can I use a tampon?

Of course.

But to stock up on your supply from someone else's house is an insane thing to do.

Yeah.

And I'm sympathetic because college kids are more often than not on, you know, strict budgets.

And so, all right, if she took like two tampons, but like.

The whole thing, taking the supply of everything.

It ain't right.

No, like go take it from the women's center at college.

Right.

There are, especially especially at college, so many resources.

Yeah, like go to the health center.

Like the health clinic, yeah.

Grab some stuff.

That's so weird.

I just want to do that.

To do that in someone's home is insane.

Yeah.

And you want, and when someone's in your house, like you need to feel comfortable.

Yeah.

So

I think I would focus on finding someone else.

Like I don't know where you live, but there's someone.

Yeah, there's other colleges, students.

Right, right.

Bulletin boards, things like that.

Twisters, drop a comment.

Like if you live kind of in a small town, like where's the best place to find a good babysitter?

I think there are also apps and Facebook groups.

Yes.

Okay, third and final.

Hello, Jackson Claude.

I have a dilemma and I need your help.

This is a little, you know,

IRS tax dilemma that I'm really interested in.

I have a group of friends and we go all go skiing a few times a year.

There's like 10 of us, so it's a lot of ducks to keep in a row.

The leader of the group, Megan, is almost always in charge of the Airbnb.

This is fine with everyone because she is the one who knows everyone the most most and can really wrangle the crew.

A few weeks ago, Megan made a comment to another member of the group that struck us as odd.

She said, if the IRS ever calls you about the Airbnbs, will you tell them that you're a client of mine?

We always split the Airbnbs evenly, but is she writing them off and getting free trips and charging us?

How would I even approach this if so?

It's so awkward to bring up money, and I don't want to accuse her of something if that was some kind of weird joke.

Please help a broke toaster.

Um, she's definitely writing it off.

Yeah, doesn't mean she's getting it for free, though.

No.

She's still paying.

It's just a tax write-off.

So like she's saving some money on her taxes.

That's just fucking weird.

You should just be like, I'm not lying to the IRS.

Like,

thank you.

And then moving forward, like, all right, one of the other girls, somebody does the Airbnb.

Yeah.

I don't think

so.

I don't think it was weird.

Joke.

Like, I think she really, I don't know what business she's in, but it's somewhere, I guess she would have a client go to an Airbnb and she can write it off.

Just when she asks you, just be like, I'm not lying to the IRS.

So figure it out what kind of business y'all in

that's what you just sounded like this did i i don't know what you said i don't know what kind of business she's in i don't know what kind of business y'all in she is writing off the airbnb yeah we love like a uh resourceful queen like not gonna lie no not if it completely implicates other other people yeah not if it means lying like you find a loophole loophole it loop de loop but you can't lie to the irs and you can't ask your friends to lie no that's the worst part is like getting other people involved.

Yeah.

And this is just

I don't think this is isolated in terms of her fraudulence.

No, she sounds like a deeply problematic and fraudulent person.

Yeah, like she's writing off everything.

Yeah.

And like, it sounds like the IRS has maybe already made contact with her.

Like, like they're on her tail.

And yeah, this is weird.

Stay away.

She should not be in charge of booking the house.

But also,

I think you guys are like, oh, no, Megan does it because it makes she wrangles us but no megan has made herself the person who books the house she's taken advantage of all you you guys think you like

let it be megan's thing but she took it and let you think it was your idea you think you're playing megan

but megan

is playing you bitches yeah so that's what's going on with megan

don't lie to the irs

megan

Megan.

Speaking of, there's a new episode of Good Guys with Josh and Ben.

If you are feeling sad that this episode is over, there's also just, there's so many great podcasts out there on Toast News Network and Dear Media.

Just like, check them all out.

All of them.

Everyone.

Full report by tomorrow.

By tomorrow.

Of what was your favorite?

Obviously, The Toasts.

But then what?

The Redheads.

But then.

And then The Snatchler.

Oh, my God.

I have got to get in the habit of calling Margot's podcast Best of Both, which is such a good name for her podcast.

But to me, she was and always will be the Snatchelaire.

Well, she is the snatcher.

That doesn't change.

Yeah, that's true.

On a personal front.

Yeah, but she is the best of both.

And she has the best of both.

Yeah.

All right, you guys, that's our show.

Tomorrow we are back.

We love you.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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So at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IRA, Cast Box, all the places where we listen to podcasts, find us at Toastleton 5 Star View, about a beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented.

We are.

Ben has still not responded.

I just double-checked.

Damn.

Thank you for watching.

Have a great day, everyone.

We'll see you tomorrow.

Love you.

Bye.