Prince Harry and His Pa: Wednesday, January 11th, 2023

Audival's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what kind of romance you're into, you don't have to choose just one.

Fancy a dallions with a duke, or maybe a steamy billionaire.

You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field.

And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Maas and Rebecca Yaros, plus regency favorites like like Bridgerton and Outlander, and of course, all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com/slash wondery.

That's audible.com/slash wondery.

Hey, Zach!

Are you smiling at my gorgeous canyon view?

No, Donald.

I'm smiling because I've got something I want to tell the whole world.

Well, do it.

Shout it out.

T-Mobile's got home internet.

Minutes!

Whoa, I love that echo.

T-Mobile's got home internet!

How much is that?

Look at that, Zach.

We got the neighbor's attention.

Just 35 bucks a month.

And you love a great deal, Denise.

Plus, they've got a five-year price guarantee.

That's five whole trips around the sun.

I'm switching!

It's crazy!

Yes, T-Mobile home internet for the neighborhood.

McDonald's, you still haven't returned my weed whacker.

Carl, don't you embarrass me like this, please?

What's everyone yelling about?

T-Mobile's got home internet!

McDonald's got my weed whacker!

Yes, T-Mobile's got home internet.

Just $35 a month with autopay and any voice line, and it's guaranteed for five years.

Yodeling!

Beautiful yodeling, Carl.

Taxes of these apply.

T-Mobile.com slash ISP for details and exclusions.

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast and happy Wednesday.

It is our favorite day of the

week here at The Toast.

It is hump day.

The weekly reminder that it's so important to hump someone you love.

And speaking of humping people I love,

it's the girl who never lets me touch her.

It's Jackie.

Hey, Jax, how you doing?

That is who I am.

I do believe there was an inaccuracy in your intro, some misinformation, because you called hump day our favorite day of the week.

And I don't think it's our favorite day.

I really don't.

Yeah, no, because like any day that's not Saturday or Sunday is never going to be my favorite day.

That's a, that's an amazing call.

I would say, okay, while it's not my favorite day of the week, it's my favorite day to do the intro.

How's that?

That's good.

Better than Friday, Friday.

Oh, shit.

Okay, not you like with your microscope.

Calm down.

Listen, I'm on the hunt for misinformation.

As Prince Harry said, it is a global epidemic out there of misinfo.

Prince Harry has said a lot of stuff, that too, but like 45 other things.

Yeah, he keeps saying stuff, which you guys will never know what he said, because if this is the only podcast that you listen to, we have kind of an embargo on the situation.

So I feel like even if this is the only podcast you listen to, you know absolutely everything that's going on because there's like I have, I know everything about Prince Harry and I'm this, I'm getting fed this information against my will.

I'm not seeking it out.

I'm trying to stay far away from this man who is really like torturing me.

Yet here I am knowing everything.

Yeah, we do know a lot.

And that's before even like clicking on the headlines, reading the book.

Is anyone even reading the book?

I think, is it the 10th?

Oh, it came out yesterday.

It came out yesterday.

I saw people on social media going to Barnes and Noble.

I saw people on social media on TikTok sharing snippets of the audiobook because it is read in Harry's voice.

And it's kind of crazy, like the audiobook parts for sure.

Yeah.

The way that it's written, like, it's, it's weird to me.

He's like, Pa said not to do that.

It like reminds me of crawdads.

Like, Jackie said this.

It's Little House on the Prairie.

Like, Pa and I went to the garden.

It's weird that he calls King Charles Paul.

Right.

Especially when there's a lot of speculation.

He might not be his Paul.

Might not be his Paul.

He should be calling him either father would be acceptable for me, daddy.

That's very British.

Very British.

Yeah.

It's also just like weird.

I can't explain it.

And I'm not going to explain why I feel weird about it, but I do.

Normalize just feeling weird and that being the end of it.

That being that, on that.

On that.

Today's Wednesday, which means we have a fabulous show.

We've got lots of good stories.

We also have dear toasters where we're going to change and save lives, which is just always a fun thing to wake up and do.

And I'm coming at you from my toxic mother-in-law era, and you're going to get some perspectives that you did not sign up for.

No, but that's the thing about the toast.

It's like we're always giving you well-rounded perspectives.

It used to be, you know, two wives, but now it's a wife and a mother-in-law, potential future mother-in-law, God willing.

And that means our perspectives are changing.

And I feel like that's good.

And the thing is, at least for me,

reels, get ready.

Life is about perspective.

And it's all about seeing

your life through the lenses of other people because that's how people see you.

It's so true.

It's called self-awareness.

And so many people in our day and age lack it.

And I'm worried for you because if you're wondering, like, why do I have no friends?

Or why don't people like want to hang out with me?

it's most likely because you're not self-aware and you're not seeing yourself through the lens of other people and like you're not seeing how you could be annoying or rude or condescending so maybe try looking at life through the lens of like your friends and family and maybe you'll know why people don't fucking stick around Yeah, so at Dear Toasters, we're going to try and let you know how the world sees you.

And I do think

it's going to be hurtful.

It might be hard.

But with these toasters, like we're usually team toaster, but there's the one in a once in a while where it's like, girl, you're wrong.

Girl, do you like my outfit?

I do.

So I know you have a big interview today, and I should have kept that in mind when I wore my boy's lie set because you've been like casual all week.

So I was like, oh, I'll just, I'm going to copy McClured.

She's so cool and trendy, like in her McClured era.

And

now I look like a slob.

And you look great a queen.

No, let me tell you, I'm not even dressed nice.

Well, I was planning on dressing nicer than I've been dressing for my interview today, but.

I told you yesterday, like it is literally 40 degrees here.

I packed like dresses and shit.

I have nothing to wear.

And when I was complaining about that on the toast yesterday, you know, a toasty social media manager from the brand Rails was like, we have a showroom in LA.

Like pick a couple things that you need for the week and we'll just send it to your hotel.

I had a whole new wardrobe by 5 p.m.

last night after the episode.

This whole outfit, I got a stunning cashmere set.

I had got a cashmere sweater to wear to dinner last night.

Like, I don't know what the fuck I was going to wear for my big ass interview today, but I'm glad I didn't have to think about it because I got this gorgeous cable-knit moment from Rails.

Thank you.

That's really beautiful.

I kind of would like one.

You know, that's what I love about the toast.

It's like, just say something, like, I want a Maserati.

And then I think the Maserati social media manager, who's probably a toaster, will send me one.

Or she'll at least reach out and send you like, you know, a pin that says Maserati and say thanks for a shout out.

And that's just as good.

Just as good.

Yeah, no, I'll wait and see if anyone wants to reach out about that set.

I would love one.

And if not, I'll get one on my own.

But I can't talk about the brand that you're wearing without calling it Rails.

I don't give a rail.

It's Rails.

And you know what it is?

It is Rails.

Israel.

I think I'll take a trip this year.

Should I go to Italy or Israel?

What do you think?

I think you should go to Israel.

Did you see the clip going around?

By the way, I've been sending you such funny reels.

I hope that you're taking the time to watch some of them.

I've been watching all of them because Reels people are real people.

Facts.

She said it, not me.

But have you seen the clip going around from the Miss Universe pageant of all the country girls introducing themselves, calling Albania?

Yeah,

you know,

Costa Rica, whatever.

And they keep going, and it's like, France.

Yeah, I have seen that one.

Have you seen the compilation of bachelor girls who were former pageant queens doing their intros?

Alabama.

Oh, yeah, that's no offense.

That's kind of like old.

Oh, not the Reels person shaming me for not being on trend.

Reels are coming up in the clutch.

I actually, I don't even know if you know what I'm talking about with Miss Universe.

It's like really recent.

Well,

just to put into perspective how behind on the times Jackie is, I think it's important that everyone knows that maybe four days ago, Jackie discovered who Husbullah was.

She sent me a clip of Husbullah and was like, who is this kid?

He's so cute.

I'm like, he's 40 years old.

He's like a Russian UFC fighter and he's everything.

He's a UFC.

I did some research after.

He's like a really big UFC fan and they've like welcomed him into the family.

And now my algorithm on Instagram, every, you know how like after every three people that you follow, they give you, you know, someone that you should follow.

All of those suggested posts are reels and memes of Hezbollah.

And I'm not complaining.

No, you should start a Hasbullah fan account.

Like I totally get the obsession.

He's, I know he's like of age and he looks like like a child because it's an illness he has, but he's so cute.

He's so cute.

The content is so pure.

And then the people who like meme some of the stuff that he does, I don't know what, in what context he's, you know, chewing and making that bass.

Yo, Jackie, I'm, I'm so glad you know about the chewing Hezbollah meme.

It's the best thing on the planet.

It's the best thing on the planet.

And that's my new internet obsession.

I do believe that I'm late because when you said, oh, that's Hezbollah, like I had that name like rang a bell from like, you know, like the island boys on tick tock like I heard of it I but I couldn't tell you what it was no you don't need to believe me like you are late it's just a fact of life

because I believe women yeah well nevertheless I'm glad you're here happy to be here you know the wheels of justice turn slowly but they turn mighty fine And the wheels of the toast don't turn slowly, actually.

We just pretty much beat a joke until it's dead.

But we've got a great show today.

I've got such a busy day.

I've got my big interview, which I'm really excited for people to hear.

And then I'm doing someone else's podcast that I'm like actually a fan of.

So I'm just like, today's actually the definition of podcast podcast.

Podcast, podcast.

Oh, for me, it's a podcast podcast sort of day, just a twofer.

Twofer.

Still.

And you can tell that Claudia takes these podcasts, podcasts, podcasts very seriously because not only is she wearing a cashmere set, she's wearing elopers.

Yes, I am.

I've been wearing a looking.

You see these elopers?

Chanel.

What's that from?

my comedy special disgrace queen now available to stream on amazon prime that's the first comedy special don't get it mistaken with n-log and think that you missed something Yeah, n-log is still in the editing phase, but I can't wait for everyone to see it.

I actually just recently saw the first cut.

Oh my God, it was cackling.

And I mean, I think I'm hilarious, but I watched with Shapiro, Olivia, and Ben because I wanted like some thoughts when I was in Florida.

I wanted their like take.

And, you know, getting Shapiro to laugh, like, he's really not my target demo.

So every time he cackled, it was like a huge win for me.

I feel like Shapiro thinks you're so funny.

No, he does, but like stand-up is very personal.

And like me talking about like my fat ass and like my pop culture, like it's really not necessarily targeted for him.

Yeah, but he, I think he's a big fan of yours.

Don't cow.

I think so too.

No, I'm not saying I didn't think he was a big fan.

No, I never said that.

I think Shapiro really likes you, Claudia.

And I think he's really glad that you're his sister-in-law.

I agree.

I would argue he likes me better than you.

Well, now we're really close because we live near each other.

Because you both abandoned, yeah, you both abandoned the family.

You do have that in common.

And because I'm Kayla's favorite auntie, so that's definitely true.

And if I would feel bad about not being Kayla's favorite auntie if I wasn't Harry's favorite auntie, so I'm okay.

You know what, Kayla?

You can keep anti-sack, okay?

Yeah, no, it's just facts at this point.

Like, we don't even have to.

And now that there's enough nibblings to go around, like

I'm Kayla's favorite auntie, you're Harry's favorite auntie, and Levi and the snitch have a

connection.

Like, she's very calming with him.

I agree.

And Olivia doesn't care because they're all her kids.

So

they love her the most.

Yeah, they do love her the most, which is kind of like the cool thing about being a mom.

You don't have to compete.

Like when you say like, oh, Harry's, you know, my child, like your child.

I'm like, sure, girl.

Sure.

I don't even know what you're saying.

Let me ask you up to.

Let me ask you a question.

Is it like so rude and annoying when I say like, Harry's my son?

No.

Like, you're not offended by it.

No, but I'm also just like not a wiener who's offended by stuff.

Such an important distinction.

I'm so sorry.

So sure, like I carried him for 10 months.

I labeled it in childbirth, but like you love my son enough to think of him as your own.

Like why the fuck would I be offended by that?

We love a rational queen.

Like we really do.

Let me ask you another question about my auntiehood.

Is there anything I do as an auntie that like you don't like?

Like I kiss him on the mouth.

I call him my son.

I say he's a child of Christ.

Is there anything I do that like you wish I would stop doing?

Like, but you would never tell me?

Now's the opportunity.

No, nothing that I wish you would stop doing.

I think you're a great auntie, but it is like when you kiss him on the mouth, like it makes me realize like I like I kiss him on the mouth sometimes, but he also always has a pacifier in.

So true.

I'll take the passy out.

Right.

So I mostly kiss him on the cheek and stuff, but it made me, it makes me realize, like, I think you kiss him on the mouth more than I do.

Good.

Yeah, it's whatever.

No, and when Harry grows up, God willing, you know, one day gets married, hopefully not,

and he's such an affectionate husband.

He, that girl can thank his auntie for teaching him affection at a young age.

It's true.

I'm sure she'll be thanking you.

I'm sure the two of you will be extremely close.

The way I'm going to hate that bitch, like no matter who she is, like she better, I know she's probably like in utero right now, but you better watch her fucking back, okay?

No, I

will be hard to please when it comes to his betrothed, but it can happen.

Like there is a girl out there that I believe could be good enough for him.

Yeah, me too.

Margot Robbie, is she available?

No, I actually don't think she would be good enough for him.

No offense.

Like Hollywood's kind of gross.

Yeah, so true.

Speaking of Hollywood, I was here.

Oh, you want to hear the craziest thing?

So I'm in my hotel last night, maybe, what time was it?

I got back.

I got locked out of the room, maybe like 3.34.

And somebody walked out of the elevator in like a major ball gown, full glam, like a team of people.

And I remembered it was the Golden Globes last night.

And she was probably going.

So then I went on Getty Images.

I wanted to know who it was.

I mean, I know who everyone is and I didn't recognize this girl.

So I'm on Getty Images, like searching for someone.

It was a black spaghetti strap dress with like a corset top and then just like poofy at the bottom.

And I swear to God, Daisy Edgar Jones was wearing the same exact dress and the same hair.

It was like a curtain bang pulled back middle part.

It was not fucking, I'm telling you, I feel crazy.

It was not Daisy Edgar Jones.

I know who that is.

Yeah.

But it literally, like, it was her.

But like, there's also, I mean, I guess she had a team of people, so she must have been somebody, but there are a lot of randos at

fraudulent actors.

I completely agree.

Or no offense, like someone's partner, happy to be there, but like they're not getting snapped.

So true.

Well, speaking of the Golden Clubs, I feel like we could dive in to the Fast Five, get started.

We could.

And then, you know, the Fast Five are extremely diverse today.

We're covering a lot of different categories.

You absolutely love to see us diversifying our content.

So without further ado, do to do,

here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

Yeah, you.

And today's, yeah, you.

Today's episode is brought to you by Modern Fertility.

Knowledge is power, and when you know more, you can make better decisions for your body, your health, and your future.

There aren't many decisions bigger than having a kid, but for many women, their fertility is a huge question mark.

And that's why Modern Fertility was created.

It's an easy and affordable way to test your fertility hormones at home with a simple finger prick.

You can mail it in with a prepaid label and you'll get personalized results within six business days.

Those results will give you insights into your hormone levels, your ovarian reserve, which is basically how many more or fewer eggs you have than an average woman your age, and other important factors that can impact your fertility.

The results will go deep into what every hormone means and you can also download the results to review with your doctor for next steps.

Traditional hormone testing at a fertility clinic can cost over $600, but Modern Fertility tests the same general set of hormones for just $179.

And if if you go to modernfertility.com slash toast, you can get $20 off your test.

Plus, you can get reimbursed for the test through your FSA or HSA.

So if you want kids today or maybe one day in the future, clinically sound information about your body can help you make the right decision that's perfect for you and your future family.

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to modernfertility.com slash toast.

That means your test will cost $159, which is a fraction of the cost of what it would be at a fertility clinic or a doctor's office.

Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to modernfertility.com slash toast.

That's modernfertility, modern F-E-R-T-I-L-I-T-Y dot com slash toast.

Modernfertility.com slash T-O-A-S-T.

Thank you, Modern Fertility, for sponsoring today's episode.

Thank you so much, Modern Fertility.

All right, what do we got first?

Golden Globes?

No, actually, because something happened this morning that I actually think is a bigger news in the grand scheme of things.

And it's some aviation news.

Because

you guys, the FAA has lifted the ground order on flights after a two and a half hours delay, but they failed to explain the catastrophic computer failure that delayed at least 6,000 flights and halted America's air traffic for the first time since 9-11.

So early this morning,

if you are on the East Coast, like you're, it affected you more so, because we'll talk about Claudia, your personal experience as everything does come back to you.

It really does.

It really does.

But the FAA's NOTAM system, which pilots use to see flights, failed overnight.

The issue was fixed by 9 a.m.

Eastern Time, but more than 6,000 flights were delayed as a result.

It is the latest air travel headache for the U.S.

after the holiday travel debacle, the Southwest Airlines scandal.

System is back up and flights are resuming, but after 6,000 flights get delayed or canceled, then, you know, those crew members don't make it to the cities where they need to go and it just continues to spiral.

So not only is it a headache for all the travelers today, but it's also fucking fishy as hell.

Yeah, no, where's the explanation?

I would like an explanation por favour.

No explanation.

The White House said this isn't a cyber attack.

I guess just after, you know, decades of working, it just crapped out.

Right.

And so I woke up at 7.30 and I had seen this article.

And literally, I had initially woken up at 6.30 because Ben went to the airport.

So I called him.

I'm like, are you at the airport?

But you guys, the time differences are crucial here because 6.30 West Coast time is 9.30 a.m.

Eastern Time, which which is actually when it came back online.

So I was like, are you at the airport?

He's like, I'm pulling up.

Why?

And you know, Ben doesn't know literally anything that goes on in the world.

Like there could be a major like

attack on the United States and Ben would have no fucking idea.

Like he just doesn't exist on this planet.

I don't know what he does all day.

So I'm like,

is your flight taking off?

He's like, what do you mean?

I'm like, of course you don't know.

So I explained to him, he's like, I have no idea.

He gets, he took off completely on time, totally normal.

Well, that's because his flight was probably the first flight of the day.

So it wasn't affected by cancellations because the West Coast like had that three-hour window where they were able to, you know, it was back on by the time the West Coast woke up.

And he was doing a very short regional flight, which means, you know, he wasn't going to New York where things were affected where then he would have been delayed.

So

thankfully, the Ben effect worked its magic, but it's crazy that he was traveling on a day such as today.

And so he's going to Napa because today they're doing the production run for the Skinny Confidential ex-Spritz new flavor.

It's going to be a capsule collection.

I know that

the fact that Spritz and Lauren are collabing has been announced, but I don't think they've said the flavor, so I'm not going to spoil it.

But let me just tell you, it's a flavor very up my alley and I'm very excited.

I was going to try and get to Napa today because I want to like try and like be in the facility and like take pics and stuff.

But you know, podcast, podcast, podcast, couldn't do it.

You can't do it all.

They say that you can, but you can't do three podcasts in a day and go to Napa.

No, you actually physically cannot.

So

I'm glad they made ate it.

The flavor is up my alley as well.

I think we all really like the flavor.

Do you think Ben will be able to bring some back for you?

Actually?

That's a good thing.

Less than three ounces.

No, because the good thing about L.A.

is they have JSX, which is like a private...

It's a private airline, but you could just like buy a seat on like a plane and it's literally 200 miles.

It's semi-private, but you don't fly out of like LAX.

You fly out of private airports.

You don't have to go through security.

And like you can technically bring.

So that's what he's flying every day.

Let me send him a text.

Can you bring me a sample

back?

Did he fly JSX 2 now?

No.

No.

Okay, because I was going to say,

that would be germane to him taking off successfully.

To me contributing to this thing.

No, they didn't have the right time for him, but his flight home was on the right time.

Got it.

Okay, cool.

So he could also bring you maybe a can, maybe a bottled.

I just asked him to bring me a can.

I don't know if it'll be done by today i think like production runs take a few days but whatever super cool super cool you know the owner

and you know the owner so you'll just be able to get that i do know the owner of spritz i think if i give a quick handy uh you know later in the hotel room i might be able to get my hands on a new can of spritz

Spritza.

By the way, speaking of you being inappropriate, we did finally learn what smut means.

Okay, what a segue, but nevertheless, continue.

I forget.

Yeah, you did find out that smut, which is what people refer to those like porny Colleen Hoover books as, actually is an acronym for

sexually mature under text.

Something like that.

It didn't hit the way I needed it to hit, like, when you found out.

But I'm glad that

it stood for something as opposed to standing for nothing, which you know I hate.

Like, why under text?

It might not be under.

It might be a different word.

That was the only word that felt weird.

Smut meaning, you know what?

That's what google A is for.

Sexual maturity under text.

Okay, so.

Like, still makes no sense.

Yeah.

You want to hear, like, just a personal anecdote, speaking of Google?

I mean, that's literally what the show is for.

So, yeah.

Okay.

Great call.

Good call.

Through no doing of my own, my default browser on my laptop has changed to Yahoo.

And let me tell you, it's one of the worst things that's ever happened to me in my life.

And like, I literally went into my settings and changed it back to Chrome and it won't go away.

Wait, Yahoo browser or search engine?

Search engine.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

My, my default search engine has been changed to Yahoo and my life has been horrible ever since.

Like the way I tried to make a Google form yesterday and like I could not get to Google form from Yahoo.

Like Yahoo sucks.

Yeah.

Just a personal anecdote I wanted to share on my podcast.

I'm sorry that that's happened to you.

And I can't figure out how to switch back.

Google it.

Rude.

Okay, Yahoo.

It.

I did.

And, like, I went back into my settings and I turned it off.

And it's not.

That's so weird.

Yeah, honestly, I downloaded a VPN to watch the stupid fucking Eagles game on Sunday.

Truth is coming out.

Ever since then, my computer is trash.

Like, I have viruses, I get porn, like, it's horrible.

The truth emerges,

how your computer just one day decided to be different.

Yeah, no, I believe it was the VPN's doing.

Got it.

Darn you, VPN.

Are you ready for our next story, which is some Hollywood news as the Golden Globes were on last night?

And though neither of us watched, there were some highlight moments and some big winners.

I will say I did watch the first 20 minutes while I was getting ready for dinner.

So I do hope that you're not going to be able to do it.

How was the monologue?

I missed that part.

Oh, okay.

So not the first 20 minutes.

No, like 20 minutes in the beginning.

Got it.

Got it.

Okay.

Okay, that makes sense.

So, Golden Globes, you know, the stars, some of them came out to celebrate the Hollywood Foreign Press and their big winners.

So, let's go through the list of winners and share our thoughts.

Best motion picture drama.

So, that's like best movie, the Fablemans.

Never even heard of it.

Me neither.

Best performance by an actress in a motion picture drama, Kate Blanchette, Tar.

Never heard of it.

Best performance by an actor in a motion picture drama, Austin Butler Elvis.

That was surprising.

Yeah, was he up against Brendan Frasier in the same category?

Yes, of course.

That was a letdown for sure.

I mean, I'm happy for Austin Butler.

And I saw this adorable video from backstage of Kaya giving him like the biggest kiss and hug.

And it was just, it was beautiful to see like two skinny, rich, perfect people like being happy.

I'm so happy for them.

I'm just overjoyed for them.

So I'm glad we got that moment, but like justice for Brendan Frazier.

Yeah, but I don't think Brendan Frazier was going to win because there's too much beef between him and the HFPA and he wasn't there.

And it's like, I don't think they're trying to punish him, but it's like they're not going to call out the fact.

It's like a self-owned because it's like, then if he wins, but he's not here, everyone will ask why he's not here.

And it's, oh, because like we suck.

Right.

No, it reflects very poorly on the HFPA.

I totally agree.

So a lot of people say that like, you know, the Golden Globe is a foreshadowing to the Oscar, but in this situation, there's, there's like this beef.

And

honestly, I don't think it's a foreshadowing to the Oscar, to be honest.

I don't think it is.

I also don't feel like the Golden Globes in recent years have foreshadowed the Oscars.

I feel like people went at the Globes and then the other people went at the Oscars.

And then like by the end of the award season, everybody has at least one award.

It's so true.

We're all winners here.

So true.

So I'm glad Austin Butler got his moment.

I think this is where it ends for him.

I agree.

I mean, he was incredible and I do think like he's deserving of the accolades.

I don't think the movie was incredible.

I think he was.

But, you know, he did all this.

He changed his voice permanently.

He lived as Elvis for three years.

I'm glad he got his silly little award, you know?

Yeah.

Did you see that people are roasting him because he's still talking like Elvis in his acceptance speech?

Yeah, no.

And I've watched, I literally like did research.

I did like on YouTube looking for clips of him before Elvis.

He had a normal voice.

I was on Good Guys podcast this week and we were talking about Austin Butler and I asked Josh, I'm like, you know him from like old school Nickelodeon days.

Josh said his voice was not like that.

Like he had a normal fucking voice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Best motion picture, musical, or comedy, the band she's of in Sheeran.

I've heard good things.

Best performance by an actress in a motion picture, musical, or comedy.

Michelle Yeo, Everything, Everywhere, All At Once.

I love Michelle Yeo.

She is.

She is an it girl.

I love her.

And that was a star-studied category.

Yeah.

Then best performance by an actor in a motion picture, musical, or comedy, Colin Farrell, the band she's of in Ishiran.

Then best motion picture

animated, Guillermo del Toros, Pinocchio.

Yeah, I saw that.

I was shocked by that.

And the title of the movie is called Guillermo del Toros.

Guillermo del Toros.

Listen,

I'm not going to clown on that because if I.

Oh, I would do the same thing.

Claudia Asher is the toast.

Like, I'm putting my shit in there all the time.

you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah totally i totally agree i love that claudia ashre's you know the revival of hairspray because that's really what my dream project is like i would put my name on it claudia ashre's hairspray period yeah right

Best motion picture, non-English language, Argentina, 1985.

Best performance by an actress in a supporting role in any motion picture, Angela Bassett, Black Panther.

Yes.

Best performance by an actor in a supporting role in any motion picture.

Ki Huai Kwan.

Everything Everywhere All at Once.

Okay, and his speech was the, that's like the moment from the show that's going viral.

I actually saw it in real life.

You never saw a cuter fucking man in your whole life.

And he ended it talking, I mean, I'm literally going to cry, like talking about his wife.

How like she always supported him.

He had like all he ever wanted to do was be an actor.

And he was like, Hollywood didn't want me.

I could not get arrested.

You know, I think he might be like 40 or 50.

And he was just so fucking happy to be there.

Could not believe he won.

Loves his wife so much.

So precious.

Watch his speech.

It's adorable.

I will.

I've seen some of the viral stuff from the award show, but I haven't seen that one yet.

And we'll get to some of that stuff.

Then best director, motion picture, Steven Spielberg, the Fableman's

best original song went to the movie RRR.

So Taylor Swift didn't win and Rihanna didn't win and Lady Garga didn't win.

So I have to say, I actually, I thought, I watched that category live and the man who won was so unbelievably cute and perfect.

And I'm so fucking happy for him.

But the way that Lady Gaga's Hold My Hand has really become one of my favorite songs, like one of my favorite Lady Gaga songs of all time, it's not spoken about enough.

It's literally one of the best songs ever written.

I agree.

That probably would have been my choice if I did the HFPA.

And I mean, Rihanna showed up.

Like, that's fucking rude that she didn't.

She probably thought she was going to win.

You think?

Or it's just like Rihanna doesn't leave the house very often, but like the Golden Globes I got nominated for.

I'll go to that.

Yeah, sure.

Perhaps.

Prestigious.

Like the whole room stopped and stared when she walked in.

They did.

Best TV series drama, House of the Dragon.

Love that.

Did you see that acceptance speech?

Because young Ray Nira, did you see her?

I didn't.

Flaudia, she was drunk as a skunk up on the stage like holding on to old Ray Nira oh who looked so cool by the way everyone was quaking because like she's so drunk oh my god I absolutely have to go and see that I miss that yeah

so that's one of the viral moments yeah I mean then

Best performance by an actress in a TV series drama, Zendaya, Euphoria, and you literally called that when you saw that episode.

I actually, I said that about Sidney Sweeney.

No, you said it about Zendaya, the episode where she's like running around.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

But I did think that this season was the season of Sidney Sweeney.

I thought she was like her character goes through like a mental fucking breakdown on this season, and she really did amazing.

I thought that she would win.

But Zendaya was amazing too.

Yes, and I actually remember like that whole episode where she's running around town.

I did say that.

Yeah.

Then best performance by an actor in a TV series drama, Kevin Costner Yellowstone.

I saw.

So deserved.

He actually wasn't there because he had some flooding in his home.

Oh yeah.

I'm so happy for him.

Me too.

I feel like we were just talking about how like the awards don't really recognize Yellowstone as like a premium show.

Yeah, they really don't.

Like it wasn't even nominated for best TV drama.

Right.

And like I don't know what about this particular season was so good that Kevin Costner finally won.

No, it was just like he was too good to ignore any longer.

Right, right.

Yeah.

Then best TV series musical or comedy, Abbott Elementary.

That's something I definitely want to watch.

I've heard that it's a content cooker.

Would love it.

First of all, it's so much camper like drama and the campers are so cute and funny.

And it's exactly what you're looking for, like positive vibes.

It's also written so well.

It's hysterical.

Yeah, then best performance by an actress in a TV series musical or comedy went to Keena Brunson from Abbott Elementary.

Who's also the creator?

Yes, who's also the creator.

Best TV limited series, the White Lotus one.

And then what I just want to skip to is Jennifer Coolidge one for

White Lotus as well as best performance by an actress in a supporting role in a mini-series.

Iconic queen.

We absolutely love to see her doing the most out there.

Yeah, her speech was really beautiful, really humble.

She spoiled the show for me, but you know what?

It's been four weeks.

It's been four weeks since it finished and I still didn't watch it.

So like, was I going to watch it?

I can't be mad about that, honestly.

Like, if I was desperate to watch it, I would have watched it.

I'm loving like the second or third coming of Jennifer Coolidge.

And what I think is so cool about this whole renaissance that people are having with Jennifer Coolidge, and she admitted this, and I didn't even realize it until she did, is that so much of it had to do with Ariana Grande.

Yeah.

Like how Ariana Grande really gave her like a platform again, like five years ago by doing that impersonation and then like bringing her out on the tonight show and like introducing Jennifer Coolidge to an audience of young people.

Putting her in the Thank You Next video.

Right, right.

I think that I'm loving what we're getting from Jennifer Coolidge and the fact that it started with Ari and the fact that Jennifer Coolidge like acknowledges that and is so grateful is

it's really a perfect example of women supporting women.

Right.

And the fact that the creator of the white lotus is Ned Schneebly.

Ned Schneebly

is another like added layer of pop culture dreams that I just, I simply can't.

Yeah.

So those were the Golden Globes.

If you watch them, I hope you enjoy them.

And that's it on that.

Congrats to all the winners.

Congrats.

Are you ready for our next story, which is some wonderful news?

Yes.

Bill star DeMar Hamlin has been discharged from Buffalo Hospital and he is heading home to continue his remarkable recovery just nine days after suffering on-field cardiac arrest.

DeMar Hamlin has been discharged from Buffalo General Hospital to to continue his recovery from home.

The 24-year-old has been receiving medical treatment since collapsing and suffering a cardiac arrest during the first quarter of the Buffalo Bills Monday night football matchup with the Bengals last week.

He has shown encouraging signs in the last few days and has now returned home to continue his rehabilitation there and back with his NFL team.

So is he going to be able to play?

Like, is he.

I was wondering that too.

Like, if so, probably not anytime soon.

I'm sure that's not the priority, but like, what kind of

recovery will he have?

Like a full recovery?

Is this something that he will always have to monitor and live with?

Also, what happened?

They have yet to tell us what happened.

And I feel like when he

is feeling like himself again, maybe he'll share.

Because it's really not for some PR spokesperson to tell us his medical information.

Right.

At the end of the day, like it's medical information and that is private and everyone has a right to privacy.

And so if we never find out, it's none of our fucking business.

Yeah, but the way that this has had like the whole country, you know, just so we're so concerned, I imagine that when he's ready to, when he even can like physically like speak and do an interview or something, like he will probably share.

Again, if he didn't, like, we'll live.

But I think a lot of people are really concerned about what happened.

Yeah.

You know, and people are invested and like now

are like lifelong fans of Damara.

I totally agree.

So I hope we get to sit down.

I'm sure that we will, will, but like take your time, relax, go home, be with your family.

Yes, 100%.

I'm glad though, that's important that the story ended in the way in this way, because like it could have had a different outcome.

Yeah.

And that now he can recover at home, which is much more comfortable than being in a hospital.

Yeah.

And nine days after like literally

your heart stops.

Is amazing recovery and it's great.

Yeah.

So that's some positive news for the day.

Also, I know it's not a story.

I mean, I'm assuming it's not because I just saw it like breaking news on my phone before.

Did you see that Shannon Bedora's boyfriend broke up with her?

I did.

I considered it and I moved on.

It's not storyworthy, but I just wanted to know like what your thoughts were on that.

I was felt sad.

I felt sad together three and a half years.

It seemed to be a good relationship.

Shannon historically doesn't handle breakups well.

I feel like it's another situation where kind of she invested herself so much in this relationship and like the rug has been pulled from her, though it's way different than David.

Like she's financially independent and she'll be fine.

Her girls are older.

It's just different.

He's not the father of her children, but you know, our girl, Shannon, likes companionship, so it made me sad.

No, I agree.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Shannon, even though I forget how I even feel about you anymore, I'm with you.

Shannon.

Because I rode so hard.

I rode so hard for so long for her, and then I remember feeling like that was a mistake.

Yeah, you did ride so fucking hard for her.

Yeah.

So, anyways,

what do you say to someone going through a breakup?

My heart is with you.

Get well soon?

No.

He's trash.

You'll be fine.

Yeah.

You're better off without him.

That's what you say.

You're better off without him.

Yeah, especially if he would do that to you.

Yeah, right.

If he doesn't appreciate the magic that is Shan.

100%.

Next story, a little music music news because

the Coachella 2023 lineup is here, everyone.

Yes.

And the headliners are Bad Bunny, Phone Chuckin' Bad Bunny,

Black Chucking.

I literally did not know what you were saying for a second.

I'm like, phone chucking.

Who's that?

Like, what did you say?

I'm like, I thought it was Black Pink.

Black Pink, my Thaves, and Frank Ocean are the three headliners at this year's Coachella Festival with a lot of sub-headliners?

So I'll read the first, the second line of each day because that's like the biggest-ish.

So on Friday, we have Bad Bunny, Gorillas, Burnaboy, Chemical Brothers, Katrinada, Blondie, Becky G will be singing in the shower, and Metro Boomin.

Cool.

Then the next day we have Black Pink, Rosalia, Eric Prids,

Holo.

Sorry, it's really small text.

Boy Genius, Suicide Boys, Kid Leroy, Charlie XTX, Labyrinth, Underworld.

Then the third day, Frank Ocean, Bajork, Callie Uchis, Porter Robinson, Fisher, Chris Lake, a boogie, Dominic Fyke, Jai Paul.

And then a ton of others.

Oh, and then Calvin Harris.

Calvin Harris.

Yeah.

So I was not planning on going to stagecoach.

And I mean, not stagecoach, sorry.

I am going to stagecoach.

I wasn't planning on going to Coachella.

I thought maybe if it was like this, like headliners that were tailored towards me, like maybe I would get there.

I'm happy for everyone.

I know there's like huge Frank Ocean fans and huge Black Pink fans and huge Jay Balvin fans.

So I'm really happy.

Oh, fuck.

I'm so sorry.

Bad Bunny fans.

So like, I'm so happy for them.

Like, I feel like that's like so iconic for them.

I'm so happy to stay home.

Yeah.

I'm happy.

I wasn't planning on going.

None of this is titillating to me, except for, of course, Black Pink, but like, I'd rather see them in concert on their own than go go to like a whole festival and like not even have good seats.

So

I'm glad for the world that like there will be more black pink.

And it's cool because black pink has performed at Coachella in the past and they've really like worked their way up to now they are like the Saturday night headliner, which is so awesome.

That's so true.

Like it's such a big deal.

Ice cream, chillin, chillin, ice cream, chillin.

Black pink in your area.

So good.

Um

wait, the last, oh, so people are like quaking because it was reported and it was like like leaked that Justin Bieber was headlining.

He's not.

So I think a lot of people were disappointed in that.

What's going on with Justin Bieber?

Is he okay?

In terms of like Ramsey Hunt?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think he's just recovering.

I don't think he's been like working a ton.

I haven't checked.

I don't follow him, but like the last he like made headlines was when he was like suffering from Ramsey Hunt.

Right.

He called off his tour and I think he's just been like chilling and taking it slow.

Like, could he headline Coachella if he wanted to?

I mean, it's one night.

Well, two nights over the course of two weeks.

So maybe.

Yeah.

Well, if everyone, whoever's going to Coachella, I hope you have an amazing time.

And happy headline you were hoping for.

Me too.

Because it's the one you got.

Good.

Because it's the one you got.

Our fifth and final story is some really interesting influencer turn of events pig news.

Oh, yeah.

So I want you to just sit back and listen to this story.

Okay.

Because

story time with Jax.

Storytime.

The Gentle Barn, which is like a rescue center for animals, posted a TikTok on Monday saying this about a pig named Pearl.

Pearl was found alone in a field next to another pig who had passed away.

She came to us with tattered ears and a potentially life-threatening infection in her uterus that has since been healed.

She's clearly been through so much trauma that we can't begin to imagine, but she's now safe with us at the gentle barn.

From what we've been told, it's believed she was purchased originally from a breeder by an influencer.

People often buy mini pigs or teacup pigs for clout online, believing they will stay small.

When they inevitably grow very large and have many unexpected needs, they're sadly discarded.

While we don't know everything she's been through in her past, we know her life now is filled with friends, nutritious foods, the highest quality care, and so much love.

So then, of course, it did not take anyone too much time to figure out that this Pearl pig was, hold on, I want to get the brother right, Logan Paul's pig named Pearl.

He had been posting Pearl, like when he got Pearl.

He even said himself, like, I thought Pearl was a mini pig, and then, you know, she grew into a big old pig.

And then this update, I guess, you know, also Logan's fans hadn't seen Pearl in a while.

And now we hear from this gentle barn saying, like, pig has been through dire straits.

Right.

And Logan, you know, mistreated this pig.

So I saw this yesterday and I was like,

oh, that's really bad.

That's really bad.

And like, I, and usually there's like two sides to every story, but like, I don't know how there's like another side to this.

But did you see Logan Paul was on TMZ explaining what happened?

I did.

And I just want to say like, this is literally the Lucy Lucy Applejuicy of the influencer world.

Yeah, so then Logan went on TMZ TV, TMZ Live, and talked about his former pet pig, Pearl, who is now being looked after by Gentle Barn Rescue.

He says he owned Pearl for a couple of years and gave her a good life at his home in Encino, California, saying he would even cuddle and sleep with the animal and made sure she had, quote, the best life.

But when Logan moved to Puerto Rico during the pandemic, he says he sent Pearl to live at a horse ranch in Santa Clarita, California, because he wasn't permitted to bring her with him.

Logan says Pearl received amazing care at the ranch.

He then said Pearl lived at the horse ranch for 10 months, but had to be rehomed again when the ranch owner moved out of the state.

He says he was unaware of the rehoming.

Then Gentle Barn posted this TikTok saying that the Pearl was irresponsibly rehomed and found next to a dead pig.

Logan said he only found out about Pearl's current situation when the video came out, and he says he's checked his records and he is certain he didn't rehome the pig irresponsibly.

He's also claiming innocence on the second pig that was allegedly found dead next to Pearl.

He says the farmer denies knowing about a second pig and says Pearl was transferred to the farm alone.

I believe that.

I don't think that second, second, I didn't assume that second pig was Logan's.

Yeah.

No, and this is so unfortunate because I actually do believe Logan in, he did move to Puerto Rico during the pandemic.

That completely tracks.

And I believe that he rehomed it at like a local ranch or whatever he did.

And I'm sure he, and I'm sure that place was lovely.

I don't know if when you, you know, rehome a pig at someone else's farm, do they owe you an explanation if they decide to rehome the pig?

I don't know.

i do feel i actually do believe logan i feel like this is so unfortunate like there is literally no excuse to abandon and neglect an animal

but to put a hundred percent of the blame on logan i don't think is fair you know i don't think so either i think it's really really unfortunate um that this is what happened but it seems like he tried to do everything correctly and like so that the pig would live the happiest life possible.

I also feel like the gentle barn like insinuating that Logan discarded the pig because it wasn't mini, like it's just like

assuming and putting that out there.

It's also like it's a rescue center.

It's like it's so

they're so like magnanimous that it's like, why would I assume you're being shady?

No, by the way, like their video was like definitely shady, definitely like, it was weird for like an organization to have like a video so shady and like really not like they didn't call him out, but like, it was not hard for people to put together who it was.

And it did make it seem like this pig literally left Logan's house, was abandoned by Logan, like it missed a bunch of chaffery.

For being too big, for being too big, which, by the way, that is a real thing.

Like, celebrities and influencers and people buy mini pigs thinking that they're mini, and then they grow.

Same with mini horses, and then they grow, and they're like, that's not what I want.

But only a real monster would then be like, well, get out.

Yeah.

You'll sleep on the side of the road.

I don't, I think like the, the general takeaway here is like people really should not be buying animals that like they don't want or need forever.

Like if you can't commit to like fostering and taking care of this animal for the rest of its life, then like don't get it.

Yeah.

I mean, but things do come up for people.

Say like you get a dog and then you have a baby that's allergic to the dog.

No, of course.

I understand things happen, but like I feel like

Logan didn't need this pig.

Yeah, well, he did say that he, if he could go back in time, he would tell himself not to buy it.

Oh, great.

Okay.

So I actually believe him, Claudia.

I want to say that I do believe him.

I just think this is really unfortunate, like beyond.

And he's pledged to help with Pearl's care at the gentle barn.

Okay, good.

Even though they like shaded the fuck out of him.

I know, but like, what else can he do?

You don't expect the tone of like the social media from an organization, especially one like rescues animals, to be so like like hostile and like like drama channely you know yeah exactly that's why when they insinuated that like logan discarded of this pig because it was too big you just kind of take them at face value of course you guys are a charity like you wouldn't just lie shit up yeah no the social media manager there was like being being like a little controversial

yeah a little clickbaity but this i guess highlights the gentle barn and the work that they're doing and it's great stresses an important message but like the message, it's hard because it's like, okay, so say for some reason you have to rehome your animal, which I don't think a lot of people want to do, but say that you do.

So you find this wonderful ranch, acres and acres for the animal to live amongst other animals.

And then like, you're like, oh, okay, I'm giving them the best life possible.

Yeah.

My job is done.

Right.

But it's not, you think, right.

No, that's why rehoming is like not ever ideal.

Yeah, and that's really what happened with Lucy, Lucy, Applejuice, like Exactly.

Dorit rehomed it to a good person, to a person she thought was good, and that person somehow rehomed it to

someone turn.

A shelter.

Yeah.

Okay, well, we still have Deer Toasters, our Wednesday advice segment where you guys can write into deer toastersgmail.com.

And we will do our best to save you from whatever it is that you're going through.

And we will always keep your shit anonymous.

So Deer Toasters is brought to you by stamps.com.

January means dealing with customer emails, returns, gift card purchases, and the inevitable increases in postage cost.

Stamps.com teamed up with the post office to get you huge mailing and shipping discounts up to 86% off.

It's a new year no-brainer for your small business.

Print your own postage right from home or from your office within minutes of signing up, and you'll never stress about finding the fastest and cheapest shipping solutions.

Stamps.com does it for you automatically.

The post office is just elevated thanks to stamps.com having amazing partnerships with USPS and UPS for unbeatable rates up to 86% off.

off.

Stamps.com automatically tells you what your cheapest and fastest shipping options are.

There's no guessing, no overpaying, and no overthinking.

It's a one-stop shop for all of your shipping and mailing needs.

For more than 20 years, Stamps.com has been an indispensable resource for over a million businesses.

You can get access to the USPS and UPS services that you need to run your business right from your computer anytime, day, or night.

There's no lines, no traffic, and certainly no waiting.

Start the new year by saving serious money on mailing and shipping.

Get started with Stamps.com today.

Sign up with the the promo code Toast for a special offer that includes a four-week trial, plus free postage and a free digital scale.

There's no long-term commitments or contracts required.

Just head to stamps.com, click the microphone at the top of the homepage, and enter code Toast.

All right, ready for dear toasters?

Ready.

Dear Jax and McClured, how you dern?

I don't know what to do.

I am happily married for a few years now to my husband who I love and adore.

I was in a previous relationship that ended a few years before I met my husband.

My ex, let's call him Baldy, he broke my heart and he left me thinking I'd never find someone ever again.

Imagine that, me, a smart, beautiful, and gorgeous queen.

Needless to say, I did meet my husband and we had a perfect wedding and we are living out our cute married life.

But here's where it gets complicated.

My ex, my ex is a part of my friends group and we've managed to coexist in social situations.

My husband knows we dated previously.

We never really interact with each other, but neither of us were willing to lose our friends over our breakup, so we just learned to live with it.

Part of me has always found satisfaction in the fact that I was married and moved on and he was still single slash dating.

Well, now Baldi just let the friend group know that he is proposing, and part of me is so livid that he's going to get a chance to be happy.

Why am I being like this?

How do I get over this?

Also, because we're in the same friend group, we were invited to the proposal.

We'll be invited to the engagement and the wedding.

Thankfully, we will be traveling and we miss the proposal.

But do I need to go to the engagement and the wedding?

He did come to ours.

I just genuinely don't want to be there, but I don't want to look sour in front of our friends, even though I totally am.

Help me, sincerely, a petty queen.

Uh, So first of all, if this is a bad man who's like not a happy person, like he's not going now experience happiness like if he's just like rotten on the inside.

So you don't have to worry about him like being so happy and you don't want that for him.

As far as not going to the other stuff, like come up with legit ass excuses like book trips, go see family, and then make it seem like it just didn't work out.

There are good ways to not go to a wedding where it doesn't look like you're being petty.

I agree, but I think it actually does look petty if she doesn't go to the proposal, the engagement, or the wedding.

I think you got to go to one.

And you said you can't go to the proposal.

So I would go to the engagement party.

Like, just get wasted.

Like, it's a fun night out with your friends.

I don't think you, like, literally get something really legitimate that you can't get out of for the wedding, but go to the engagement party.

Like, engagement parties are short.

They're not like eight-hour weddings.

Stay for an hour, take some pics, like be seen.

So you don't look bitter, you know?

Yeah, I agree.

So you don't look bitter because

I don't think you are bitter, but you sound a little bitter you sound bitter but like i don't think it's because like you're unhappy in your marriage person like this person like destroyed you

yeah and they don't deserve happiness and like you can be happy in your marriage and love your husband and not want anything to do with this person but also like still have a major fucking grudge i agree like normalize like not

normalize like moving on but like always like holding a grudge for real like like human emotions aren't perfect you know we're not perfect we're human i agree and i think you have to see like see this from the lens of how other people would see it like if if you don't go to any of the events and like all your friends are like wait that's kind of weird is she still in love with baldy no go to one go to one look stunning and have the best time like dance and drink and be the life of the party And it's like the worst thing that could happen is like his simcha somehow in your life.

It comes about you.

Like, no, reflecting badly on you.

It's like, not only did he get a win, but you took an L.

This cannot happen.

No, like by showing how little you care, you will win.

But if you, if you, if you care too little, like you don't go to any of it, you will look bitter.

Yeah.

It's a delicate balance.

It's a tight rope to walk, but you can do it.

I know you can.

Go to the engagement party.

You can do an engagement party.

I agree.

Get a new dress and get your hair done.

Arshar.

Jackson Claude, hello, and happy new year.

I spent the holidays seeing all my family, like many others.

My cousin Haley is in college and she's definitely an interesting character.

She's worn makeup for a while, but she's never really gotten it right.

Actually, she's gotten worse.

Her makeup is always caked on.

It's extremely orange.

She wears white eyeliner underneath her lower lash line.

She doesn't wear mascara.

She also always has fake lashes that are hanging on by a thread, and it's just a mess.

I know I probably shouldn't be thinking this way, but it feel sick watching her in this world full of critical and mean people imagining what others are thinking of her.

Is there a nice way I can offer some makeup suggestions?

She's also a very flirtatious girl to say kindly.

I'm worried she's getting a reputation for her endeavors on top of her horrible makeup application.

I probably sound like a bitch, but I just want to get herself, her makeup, and her hygiene together so she can have the best possible life for herself.

I love her dearly, which is why I feel like I can't sit back and watch any longer as her older cousin.

I wish my aunt would help her out, but she really isn't into makeup and she just hates that she always wears so much.

Help.

How can I help out my cousin without seeming rude?

Oh, this is dicey because on the one hand, like bad makeup is a rite of passage and like no one can just like snap you out of it.

Like you have to come to those realizations on your own and then like look back and be like

dikes.

You know, you're not going to look back on what you looked like yesterday and be like, oh, I I was all wrong.

Like, it's just a part of growth.

So

I don't think that you could say anything without you sounding like incredibly mean because she clearly likes how she looks.

Like,

and it's her body, her choice.

No, and it's really, it's, it's, makeup is really personal.

And like, even though you might think it's ugly and crazy, and I imagine it wouldn't be my style either, like, whatever makes a girl feel pretty, like, and whatever she wants to put on before she leaves the house as like her protective armor, like that's her choice.

Like, and it's her style.

And it might not be your style, but I think if you said anything, you would certainly not come off as like the protective, loving older cousin.

You would come off as like a bitch.

Yeah, you would come off as the people that you're trying to protect her from.

Yeah.

I feel like there may be ways if you guys hang out a lot, like

where, you know, sometimes like I've done Claudia's makeup.

Yes, we do it for a vlog, but like you could try that.

Like you could be like, could I try, could I do your makeup for this event?

Like I just like love your face.

I feel like I, you'd be such a fun canvas, like something like that.

Yeah.

And, and then she, so she could see how she looks with your idea of makeup.

Maybe she would like that, but maybe she wouldn't.

And if she doesn't, like, she's fine.

She's fine.

A good way, like, also, like, maybe hire a makeup artist that like you really like and be like, I'm getting my makeup done for our cousin's wedding.

Like, do you want to come and get ready together?

Like, she can do your makeup too, like, offer to pay for it.

Yeah.

But at the end of the day, like, it's really not that big of a deal.

Like, I don't know if this is a hill you necessarily need to die on.

Yeah, it's not that big of a deal.

She's not hurting anyone.

She clearly, she takes the time and the effort every morning to paint her face this way.

Like, she must like some version of how it looks.

Or she just, it makes her feel prettier and it makes her feel like safe and comfortable or whatever it is.

Like, and

maybe you just got to let her leave her alone, honestly.

Yeah, or you could even like, if you could get her like a nice foundation for her birthday, be like, I know you love makeup.

Like, this is the one on TikTok people are saying, like, is the best foundation.

Like, maybe she'll stop using like her orangey, cakey stuff.

Maybe, maybe she'll try it and be like, nah, it's not not orangey enough.

No, I feel like honestly, you should leave this alone.

I would like you to try a little, but I wouldn't push it.

I would get her a gift of a foundation.

I would maybe like if you guys have an event, be like, I got a sick makeup artist.

Like it's, it's like two for one.

Tell her it's good for her.

You know, but don't push it because it's kind of mean.

All right, our third and final deer toasters is kind of crazy.

Hi, Jackson Claude.

Big fan since the breath.

My biggest flex in this life is that I went to Camp Toast and I love you guys.

My friend Mary has this boyfriend named Josh.

Josh is a total lehooser for many reasons, but this situation took my distaste for him to another level.

Mary and I have a mutual friend named Taylor who is casually hooking up with Josh's friend Mike.

One day, Taylor came to me and told me something disturbing happened the morning before, the morning before when she and Mike were together.

Mike got a video from Josh that was of him and Mary having sex.

Taylor was horrified and

lit him,

lit him,

lit him up him out for it.

Okay, she obviously she fucked him up for it.

Mike said it was a normal thing.

Later, Taylor and I told Mary what had happened.

She was really upset and decided to confront Josh.

Josh just brushed it off, saying it's a dude thing that it won't happen again.

But Mary is choosing to believe him and stay, which I think this is insane for a few reasons.

One, Mary had no idea she was being filmed, which is scary and illegal.

Shouldn't she be concerned about his sexuality?

This is not a normal boy thing.

They are just gaslighting us, right?

Any advice on how to proceed is much appreciated.

I'll even send her this episode if need be.

Thanks.

Um,

what the fuck?

Uh,

like, you told her, and she didn't do like care enough to freak the fuck out.

She didn't care enough to, like, leave, do something about it.

She has the information.

She's a grown woman.

It couldn't be me, but, like,

if you want to send you do.

If you want to send her this episode, episode, this is what I'll say directly to Mary.

Mary, or whatever your real name is.

Somebody taking a video of you having sex with you without your consent is so borderline illegal and it is so insanely disrespectful.

It's not borderline illegal.

Sorry, it is illegal.

It's so insanely disrespectful.

There's actually not words for it.

It's not a normal thing that happens.

So someone who's supposed to be your boyfriend and protect you and love you and shield you from the outside world doing that without your consent is not somebody you want to be with and not someone who is actually has your best interest at heart.

Then, to send that video to a different person takes us to another level of betrayal.

And I don't know if you know this and you don't care.

I'm just saying, like, I don't know what this man has on you or why you feel the need to stay with him and whatever it is.

Like, I'm sure you're doing your best, but I just want to let you know, like, outside perspective, we don't know any of these people.

We're just outsiders.

This is so insanely disgusting and disrespectful.

And, like, you deserve better.

So, if your friend did send you this episode, like,

this is not normal.

Like, you absolutely, this is grounds.

it's not even like a red flag it is a red volcano it's so disturbing and this and his reaction is even more disturbing i don't think his sexuality is in question i think

he might think this is like a thing people do it's not it's not no it's not and he's a loser for like even

Wanting to show that to his friends that gives him some kind of like, I don't know, credibility.

Any man who thinks that way is not

a man.

Yeah,

maybe you're too far in it to like see out.

Right.

Wake up.

Like, this is no.

Like, there's no, the only response would be to end things with this person.

Like, this is not a trustworthy person.

This is not a good person.

This is not who you want for your partner in life to protect you, to be in the weeds with you, to potentially father your children.

Like, this is not the type of person you want on your side.

He's an enemy to you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Totally.

So.

Oh, my God.

Very disturbing.

At least you have good friends who will be there for you.

Yeah.

To help you get through this time, but this has got to end.

Got to end.

Thank you to everyone who wrote into Dear Toasters.

Again, that email is deartoasters at gmail.com.

If you ever want to write in, we will always keep your shit anonymous and you could write in about pretty much anything.

That is our show.

Jax, it's been a pleasure.

Thank you so much for listening.

It's been a pleasure, though.

I'm very disturbed now.

I know.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere.

Podcasts can be found.

So, it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeart, Radio, CastBox, all the places.

So, wherever you listen to podcasts, find us the toast and leave a five-star review about how wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an increa pump day.

Don't forget to hump someone you love, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Goodbye.