Big Footed Toasters: Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Wednesday.

Oh my God, it is hump day.

Don't forget to hump someone, you

it's also merch launch day, which is so exciting.

Claudia and I

are wearing inverted career necks from the career necks we wore yesterday.

I'm wearing Toasty Lights in pink.

Claudia's wearing white.

I was wondering, like, can we wear our pajamas on the show?

Because we need to promote them.

Okay, let's talk about that.

It's so gorgeous, but then we're sitting here in pajamas.

No, I mean, who fucking cares about that?

At least you're in your house.

Like, I would have to get in an Uber in my pajamas, which is mortifying, but not something I'm above.

Personally, I was going to wear my pajamas today, but when I tell you the black ones, I've been wearing like three nights in a row, like they're officially due for a wash, and I was not going to put on the white ones and show my legs on the podcast.

So I was left with no choice but to model this gorgeous white crew neck from toastmerch.com.

Understood.

Okay, so I have, I have license to wear pajamas on the show.

That's exciting.

Maybe I'll wait until Friday.

It's like a little crazy.

And I feel like if people don't know we're launching merch and they just see these girls in their pajamas.

Here's the thing.

First of all, I don't think it's that crazy.

Second of all, like, really?

We're now making decisions based on what people will think

no but like if we're trying to attract new viewers and then they're like okay if i start in their pajamas if i stumbled across a podcast where two fabulous girls were sitting wearing gorgeous well-made perfect button-sized pajamas i would say you know what these girls they've got charisma that's what i would say

Okay, I mean, not everyone is as open-minded as you.

That's so true, actually.

Like, I really am kind of like ahead of my time.

You're so open-minded, open to trying new things, never someone to just say no to something just cuz.

No, and like stubborn is not a word I don't think anyone would use to define me.

Antonym.

Antonym.

It's giving antinym.

Antonym.

Yeah, no, they would never.

They could never.

So our holiday collection has officially launched at toastmerch.com.

You can shop all of our new apparel, which is crew necks, pajamas.

You can shop our accessories for holiday.

We've got mugs, blankets, slippers.

It's really a stunning collection.

We have ornaments.

The ornaments always sell out really quick.

I guess we're big in the Christian and Catholic communities.

That's just us, like Jewish queens.

And it's just a fabulous time to be a toaster.

Toastmerch.com, it is limited inventory.

We have a lot of inventory, but not unlimited.

So make sure you head over to toastmerch.com, get everything you want for you.

If you want to send this episode to the man or woman in your life to buy it for you,

that's a good idea.

We have PJOM PJO slippers.

I believe they're one size.

So if you've got like an extra big foot, I don't know.

Maybe shy away.

Maybe this isn't the product for you.

I don't know if it's going to happen.

Is it one size?

Yeah, and for me, like the slippers,

they fit nicely.

There's definitely room to grow.

But I'm a size seven and I fit really nicely in them.

But the thing is, we are constantly encouraging room to grow.

So it's really on brand for us.

Yeah, yeah.

But I just like want to say, like, if you got a big foot, like, I don't.

If you got a big foot, maybe check out our mugs.

But like, they are like a very average size because I have a really small foot and there's space.

Yeah, there's space.

They're average size.

So I would say if your foot is bigger or smaller than average, I just want to give you a heads up because I feel like if I was a big-footed toaster and I got them, like I'd be kind of annoyed.

I would say, you know, Jackie and Claudia don't support the big community.

And you would be right about that.

So again, maybe check out some of the other offerings at toastmerch.com.

Yeah, this one's not for you.

Not for you.

So it's hump day.

I'm sure everyone already knows what's on the agenda.

Hump Someone You Love, Fast Five, and Deer Toasters.

And we have some really interesting deer toasters today that I do think will pose

some interesting dialogue.

Great.

Can't wait.

Also, did you see that update about last week's deer toasters in the Toast After Dark Facebook group?

Yes, about the girl whose cousin, who was like 16, was pregnant.

Yeah.

So

long story short, she was lying.

Yeah, she's just like a big liar.

It's giving Paula Giamatti a big fat liar.

She's like a troubled teenager for attention.

She's a troubled teen who is making things up for attention.

And it's obviously not about that.

There's something deeper going on with her.

So thank you to everyone who put in there two cents.

But I feel like

everyone should know that update and not like worry about what the 16-year-old's going to do.

Like there's nothing to be done.

It wasn't needed.

It was, we were, the girl who wrote in was duped, as were we as a community.

As were we, as were the Bigfooted toasters.

We're going to be one of those podcasts that talks about Bigfoot, but like not the

scary dog who lives in the woods.

Today's episode is an expose on Bigfoot and why you shouldn't buy our slippers.

From shopmorning toast.com.

Toastmerch.

Toastmerch.com.

But shopmorning toast.com still works because that really rolls off the tongue after years it is going to take some adjusting for me to like be my promo girly and not automatically go shopmorning toast.com yeah i understand oh so wait i have to tell you i um I went to two of me and Ben's friends got engaged last night and they had like obviously like we were all waiting after they got engaged.

It was really cute and fun.

And I met, I feel like you wouldn't appreciate this, but a lot of the toasters will.

And the person who appreciated it the most is Olivia's husband, Zach Shapiro, because I sent him a picture picture of me and this girl, and he is obsessed.

So, and I feel like I've quoted her on the podcast before.

How do you know that?

I follow Erica.

She's a lawyer who reads a fine print.

That's why I follow her.

She's like, honestly, like a TikTok icon.

And I got to meet her last year.

I quoted that before.

So I went up to her and I was like, that's why I follow Erica.

She reads a fine print.

So I don't have to.

And she was like living for my energy.

That's so exciting.

And I sent a picture of me and her to Zach Shapiro and like he was starstruck on my behalf.

It was amazing.

Glorious.

Congrats to your friends.

Thank you.

Yeah, it was a nice night.

I'm exhausted.

Monday and Tuesday, I woke up at 4 a.m.

That's like not something I do.

But, you know, I did what I had to do to get back to New York on Monday.

Yesterday, I went on Television to like talk about my hour, like expanding, booming business, multi-billion dollar industry.

And so last night I went to bed at 10 and I woke up at 9 today.

And when I tell you, I feel

worse.

No, sometimes I've actually been getting, I don't want to jinx it, but like decent sleep because

Harry's like pretty much going all the way now and

I'm more tired than ever.

So I have recently very sadly come to the conclusion because for years I have prioritized sleep.

Like I will say no to many different things because it interferes with my weekday sleep.

And I recently came to the very sad conclusion that I might have been missing out on things for the last couple of years for no reason because I think I think I'm getting too much sleep.

That's a thing.

There is such thing as too much sleep.

But I do think that going out versus having a relaxing night in and then going to sleep at a normal hour,

you do feel more energized.

The other night I stayed up till 2 a.m.

And the next day I was not well.

Oh man, what were you doing, you crazy teenager, up till 2 a.m.?

I had some friends over and it wasn't even crazy.

We were just like chit-chatting all night long.

And I wasn't at my house till one, girls' night, like like mom's night in.

It was crazy.

MNI.

MNI.

So the next day, like I was literally trying to, it was worse than ever.

So it does make a difference.

But then this weekend, there were a few nights where I got like some nice chunky sleep and I was still so tired.

So I think that's the sake of sleep is very interesting.

I'm just meant to be tired.

I think I'm just meant to be asleep.

Actually, I've been noticing my energy levels.

Like, of course, when I wake up, like, I am, don't talk to me.

But like throughout the day, I'm not, I'm not like so tired right now.

I just need to chug this.

Yeah, I just feel as though there's definitely a lot of research on the science of sleep, and it would definitely behoove me to look into it because I think I'm doing it all wrong.

I think that you should give your fortune to sleep research because there's not enough of it.

And we need answers.

It is such a big part of life.

Sleeping is literally 50%

of the 8 billion people's activity.

And I like, I always am hearing about

different successful people going on podcasts and talking about their sleep habits, how they've like discovered the perfect thing for them, the amount of hours, what to do before bed.

And I really need to get in tune with my body because I'm really sick of being tired.

And you think I'm annoying and energetic now?

I'm operating at seriously 50%.

You know what you need.

Let me think.

What do I need?

An aura ring.

Do I like

to let you know about your sleep?

He says, Let me tell you about you.

I don't think that's in-depth enough.

Like, I need an actual team of scientists to study my body, like, for real.

I need Elon.

Elon.

Because Elon went on.

Elon went on Joe Rogan, and Joe Rogan was asking him about his sleep.

Because I guess like a lot of successful, like, very smart people have unique sleeping habits.

And Elon was like, I honestly, I sleep six hours.

And Joe Rogan was like, well, that seems like a lot for like a crazy genius, you know?

And he was like, no, I tried the whole four hours thing and I was tired.

So I started sleeping more.

It was extremely rational.

So by that logic, I'm always tired.

I need to be sleeping more.

But when I tell you, like I, for the last, like literally for the last five years, on the weekdays, I prioritize sleep so much.

Like I am in bed no later than nine o'clock.

Let's be real.

I'm in bed since like six.

No, but you lights out, TikTok down at what time?

Seriously, 10.30, maybe 11.

Like I really am very good about that.

And, you know, I have the luxury of designing my own life.

I'm a business owner.

So I wake up at 8.30 slash 9.

That's a lot of fucking sleep.

That might be too much sleep.

But I agree that a lot of successful people like don't sleep.

Right, but they also

find themselves energized.

They find themselves energized, but also like that gives them more hours in the day to

do successful things.

Right.

But there is something in the successful community about sleep that we haven't, that us lay people haven't been told yet.

No, I'm telling you, the successful the elite class in this country is holding on to information they are keeping secrets from the lay people about how to be like the perfectly balanced sleeper do you think that they also maybe have drugs that um

no give them the like you know like the movie limitless No, I don't think so because Big Pharma is like so obsessed with like monetizing on pharmaceuticals.

If there was like a miracle drug, Big Pharma would capitalize it.

Like Big pharma's capitaling is right now on that shot that everyone's taking to lose weight.

Like they're capitalizing on the moment.

The diabetes drugs.

Right.

So if there was something out there.

Wait, but wait, but wait, hold on.

Counter thought.

If there was something out there that could make so many people so smart and successful, that would actually ultimately fringe on big pharma's margins because there would be medium pharma, small pharma, you know, boutique pharma.

And ultimately, I think that they would lose market share.

So, you're saying by giving access to this limitless drug, big pharma has a lot to lose, therefore they're not giving access to it.

Yes, I think so.

No, that's something to think about for sure.

It is not us deconstructing big pharma.

It's all the day's work here at the toast.

Oh, so is the Fats Five and Dear Toasters, which we're going to get into.

And what should be another fabulous day of being the toasters?

Unless you're a BFT, in which case today's not your day.

It's not a great day to be a big foot toaster.

Let's just say that.

But

other days are really good days to be big-footed toasters because it's like sizes that most people don't buy.

So you can usually get the style that you want in your size.

It's really exciting.

You know, if you have a very common average foot size, you're clamoring with everybody else for the latest trends.

I guess what we're trying to say here is big-footed toasters, we see you, we love you, we stand with you, but just slightly far away because your feet are so damn big.

I have a question.

On a woman, what do you think is like

a big?

No.

No?

Nine is like,

I feel like a nine is like a six, you know, on the

but see, Craig's so fucked up about society.

Like, if you have a size six, which is like a little bit below average, you're like, oh, yeah, she has a size six.

It's so cute.

If you have a size nine, which is like a little bit above average, oh, you're a big-footed cloud hop motherfucker like you're like a good like a giant no but i would say like a six is still in the range of normal foot and so is nine yeah no i think when you enter the double digits things get a little a little hairy a little dicey and maybe you could try men's you could try sears

yeah

no that's an interesting question what size are you

I am a six and a half, seven, depending on if it's a shoe that uses a sock or am I barefooted in it?

Just

a contessa.

like on in a flat I'm a six and a half because there's no extra room but in a boot oh I need a bigger boot I can't get like yeah I'm like

I'm the same thing one size up I'm like a seven and a half eight because I'm like so perfectly average in every single way you're so average size in every I'm just so average

It's really like underrated.

I completely agree.

I don't love that phrase and just like that general sentiment.

Like, why fit in when you were born to stand out?

Just as for fitting in like it's a very you know low pressure low stress life

and not everyone can stand out let's be real yeah and also like you don't want to stand out in every department you know that's so true it's like embarrassing personality like you know but I think you pick one or two things that are like your thing I love that thank you McLard

So what's your thing?

Where do I begin?

Where's your place?

I think honestly, like my thing where I'm like above average and like I stand out is obviously like looks, beauty, grace.

But actually, like it's personality, which is just sounds like a euphemism for ugly, but I'm not.

I'm not ugly.

I don't know.

There's so many pretty funny people.

Yeah, no, I definitely think like my, if I have to ever like lean on my talent, my talent is my personality, like charisma.

Like I really am, like, I'm not weird in social situations.

That's my thing.

I would say.

What about you?

I agree with you.

That's your thing.

Yeah.

You?

No, I'm saying, what about you?

Oh, what about me?

Not what do I think you're doing?

No, not us having a hard time communicating today.

No, I think you're a big touch.

I think,

I think

recently my thing is my brain.

Not to say I'm like so smart, but I think I'm just like a

thinker.

You know, I don't think brain means smart.

I think it means like curiosity, a thirst for knowledge.

Interested, interesting.

Yeah, I think your brain.

Like if I'm having a conversation with someone, like I'm going to rely on like what I know and what I want to know.

No, I think that's that's very smart of you.

I agree.

Thank you.

Look at you using your brain.

Once again.

So we've got a great show, a really promising endeavor.

I concur since I chose the stories and I feel good about them.

Oh, God.

What do we have have today?

Royal this, royal that, royal this, royal that?

There's actually only one royal story today, and it's about the princess of Genovia.

And I think everybody wants to know about it.

Oh, I do.

Yeah.

Huh.

So without further ado, do do.

Not to get off track again, but like, what happened with your Taylor Swift tickets?

Are you going to the show?

I'm so glad you brought that up.

Here's the thing.

I don't want anyone to worry about me.

Because I will be going.

You know, I

am in a position where it's like, whatever it takes, like, I will, I will get there.

And I'm very fortunate to be in that position.

What you're saying is, whatever it takes,

I know

I can make it through.

No, I've literally been singing the Degrassi theme song since yesterday.

But here's what happened.

Me and Margo both registered for verified pre-sale.

I didn't get it, but Margo did, which is all we needed.

Exactly at.

10 o'clock yesterday, we get online.

We're in the queue for probably three hours.

It froze.

You're not supposed to leave.

Don't leave.

Don't leave.

We were halfway through when it froze.

Eventually, hours later, we got through and we got to the thing.

And there's one, literally one ticket in the back.

I'm like, what the fuck is this?

And there was like a couple on the floor all the way in the back.

And Margo just wanted to like pull trigger and get them, but they were like expensive.

And that's not what I wanted.

Like, one thing about me, I'd rather be in the stands in a lower row than on the floor in the back row.

You know, I think it's a very delicate balance.

And I don't like making hasty decisions.

The floor, there's no incline.

Yes, I know.

And Margo was like anything on the floor.

I'm like, no, actually.

Like, I'd rather be in like row four in a good section with a riser than row 50 in the floor.

Except that she does come out into the floor.

We both got four seats for Reputation Tour and we had a ball.

Okay, exactly.

Reputation tour, I spent literally every dollar to my name and I was in the second row on the floor.

Like, yeah, that's

worth it in my opinion.

But spending like $1,000 a ticket, that's what it was after taxes and bees, to be in like row 30 on the floor, Margaret was like, let's just get it.

And I was like, no.

And I hesitated and then they disappeared and then she blamed me.

But I stand by what I did, like for real.

I agree.

Also, like, can't you get tickets?

Yes.

So, here's the thing: I am like, I'm gonna, let me finish my sentence, not like, cause I don't wanna say because you're like, you know, famous or whatever.

Um, no, that's not what I was saying.

No, but that's what maybe someone would have thought I was about to say.

Can't you just buy tickets?

Like, it's a regular concert, you know, the week before the show.

Yes, there's gonna be tick bad tickets, good tickets, expensive, cheap, like everything.

Yes, so I will not be concerned.

So, today I am going to go again for the Capital One at two o'clock.

Um,

and I'm going to try.

And again, if there's not seats that I want, like, I'm not going to buy them.

First of all, I'm not going to take tickets away from somebody who would actually want those seats.

And I would be like begrudgingly purchasing them.

And two, yes, like just like any other concert, there will be tickets on StubHub.

People already started putting them up for like $17,000.

That will go down.

We're still like eight months out from the first show.

So just keep that in mind.

It will go down.

I'm going to try again today.

If I don't get what I want, I'm just going to wait and I'm going to be like trolling resale sites.

And if that's what I have to do, that's what I have to do.

It sucks and I could complain about it or I could just be a grown up and just do it.

Yeah.

So that's what I'm going to do.

I will say, you know,

like I understand because I'm also like deeply and toxically obsessed with Taylor.

So I have to like, probably to a level that is unhealthy.

But some of the behavior I was seeing yesterday, like people sobbing, like seriously, they lost.

a loved one that they couldn't get tickets at the queue.

I really think like people are not okay.

Like it was so not normal.

Some of the TikToks I was seeing.

Like, I couldn't get tickets.

And it's totally sad.

And like, I feel for you, but like, we need some perspective.

You know, there are people that are dying.

So just keep that in mind.

Like, I wasn't, I wasn't happy.

I'm going to persevere and I'll end up with the tickets that I'm meant to get because you will bloom where you were planted.

You will.

It's beautiful.

And you know what?

If I don't get Pre-sale tickets, like I'm not able to pay face value, I'm glad someone else is.

Cause you know what?

I can afford to pay a little bit more.

Like let's be real.

So if someone else gets it and not me, it's okay.

It's beautiful.

And I, trust me, I have tried using all my connections to get like free tickets or like, like, it's not a thing.

Like, trust me, like, I try to be like annoying, like, hi, yeah, like, I'm a girl with no job.

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares.

So thank you for asking for an update.

I hope everyone got the tickets that they wanted yesterday or today or tomorrow.

You know what?

We're all in this together and it's going to be okay.

It is.

And everything will like calm down.

I'm sure there are the people, I don't think a lot of scalpers got her pre-sale tickets.

That's not what's on Ticketmaster.

I think it's like real fans who realize that they got something great and then they're like, how much would someone have to pay me to not go and see Taylor?

What money would I have to make?

And then they're like, okay, $17,000.

You want to pay it?

I won't go.

People were going to be able to do that.

But those people are going to go.

People were really angry at Ticketmaster.

One, because like, what did we all sign up for?

We all got a number in the queue.

Like, you did all these things to prevent a crash, and it literally crashed within an hour.

And, two, like, how is it that like all these real fans are still waiting for tickets, and resale sites are being flooded with resale tickets from people who are clearly not enormous fans?

I think it's a combination of people being like, Yeah, if someone would pay me $17,000, this is capitalism.

I, you love to see a small business owner getting out there.

But I do think a lot of it is also like scalpers and bots.

And it's like,

how have you not been able to prevent this?

Right.

How is that possible?

But it's like a lot, like Ticketmaster has really

kind of shady

intentions because they also own

like a like resale market.

So it's like they also stand to benefit from the resale market.

So it's just a little shady.

Like it's literally, it's giving mafia for real.

And I can't even blame Taylor because like as an artist, first of all, you have literally no choice.

Like

most of my shows are sold on Ticketmaster and like Live Nation and those types of...

There's nothing you could do about it.

There's nowhere else to go, first of all.

And you have no power.

You need them.

So you can't even blame Taylor.

Yeah, no, I'm not.

And I mean, even though this is annoying for her fans, like it's just a testament to her power.

So it's like, it's bittersweet for her, I'm sure.

Yeah.

But yesterday she was nominated for a bunch of Grammys.

So she, like, everyone is literally, we're burning down stadiums.

People are screaming, throwing up, tweeting.

And Taylor comes on Instagram.

We're like, oh, finally an update because we're all sitting here frozen in the queue.

She goes, so honored to be nominated for a Grammy.

And it's like, we're happy for you, girl.

But like, we're not okay.

Yeah, I forgot the Grammy nominations and stories.

Do you want to add it?

Yeah, of course.

Cool, quote, cool.

Okay, without further ado, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of something delicious for breakfast.

Maybe a pancake.

Maybe it's toast.

Maybe it's toast.

In which case, you would hear this.

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first story grammy nominations who'd have thunk

here are some of the nominations in the biggest categories this year for the 2023 Grammys.

Record of the year.

Don't Shut Me Down by Abba.

Easy on Me, Adele.

Break My Soul, Beyonce.

Good Morning, Gorgeous, Mary J.

Blige.

You and Me on the Rock, Brandy Carlisle,

featuring Lucius.

Woman, Doja Cat.

I didn't realize.

That obviously has to win.

It's kind of the record of our year.

Yeah.

The heart part five, Kendrick Lamar, about Dan to Heim Lizzo, as it was Harry Styles.

So I firmly believe, of course, everyone is, you know, deserving, but I do think this will be the year of Harry Styles.

I think his music was quite literally everywhere.

It's great music.

It really was the song of the year.

About Dan Time is like a right behind.

Like I do think that also could win, but I do think this will, like, Harry will sweep the Grammys this year.

He's like, he's been nominated in the past.

I don't even know if he's won, but he's never really.

had this like major moment.

He's never had his Grammys moment.

I agree that I think that this year is it.

And I don't know if Grammys does this intentionally.

Probably not.

It's probably coincidence, but I feel like every year is someone's year.

Yeah.

You know, and they, they win in the few big categories, but that makes sense.

If they're the best in one, then they should be the best in all.

Agree.

I think that it will be Harry's year.

And I think that it should be Harry's year.

Me too.

Last year, it was Lizzo and Olivia Rodrigo.

It was like every award was just like Lizzo, Olivia Rodrigo, Lizzo.

Before that, it was like Billie Eilish.

Everyone really,

I feel like that happens at a lot of award shows.

Like this is my favorite reference.

You can add it to the list of things I always talk about, but Slum Dog Millionaire.

Like, when they were at the Oscars, like it was every single award they were nominated for.

It was a sweep.

And that doesn't happen every time, but I do think this will be a Harry Styles sweep.

I think it's very deserved.

This was the year of Harry Styles.

He works incredibly hard.

His music is so popular.

It's so global.

He has amazing sales.

Like, it's going to be the year of Harry.

I agree.

I actually feel like recently, maybe in the movie categories, they're doing like this thing where each movie movie wins

we're all winners and I just like a big fat sweep.

You know, because that's telling me generally how it is unequivocally what is the creme de la creme.

That means cream.

Yeah, I agree.

And that's generally like as a culture, like

that's usually what happens like in culture.

One thing really like takes off every year.

And I just feel like I couldn't go anywhere or open any app without being confronted with a song from Harry's house.

And what was so crazy was like, I was just like busy when his album came out.

And I feel like I sat down to listen to it maybe two months after it came out.

And the way I literally already knew all the songs, because I had just been so familiar with them from like TikTok, from social media, from commercials, like it was really ever the radio.

So I think that constitutes Album of the Year.

Yeah, well, here are the nominees for Album of the Year.

Voyage by Abba, 30, Adele, Unverano, Sinti, Bad Bunny, Renaissance, Beyonce, Good Morning Gorgeous, Mary J.

Blige, In These Silent Days, Brandy Carlisle, Music of the spheres, Colt Play, Mr.

Morale and the Big Steppers, Kendrick Lamar, Special, Lizzo, Harry's House, Harry's five.

Okay, I feel like the only person who actually might compete with Harry is Bad Bunny.

Hold on.

Bless you.

He's done it.

It's true.

Oh my God, not me, literally predicting the Grammys.

Because, and see, I don't know what the Grammys constitute.

Like, the Grammys obviously, like, is an American award show.

But Bad Bunny literally is probably the biggest global artist in the world.

And I don't know if that means anything to the Grammys because like the Recording Academy is very much like an American thing.

But

it has to count for something.

I feel like also Beyonce is going to give him a run for his money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Even though I personally really enjoyed Renaissance, I didn't see it like when I when I think of Grammys for album of the year, record of the year,

I think a lot, a huge part of it is like, did I see it everywhere?

Like on every social media?

And with Renaissance, I actually really didn't.

Like there was Break My Soul was her single and it was like a good single and it was popular, it was on the radio.

And then I feel like other things from Renaissance, like, really didn't get picked up.

The only thing there was like one TikTok trend.

Um,

you should, it's like a dance that I tried to do, and it's so embarrassing, like, how bad it is.

Because there's something I'm thinking of, but I can't remember.

We getting fucked up tonight.

You don't see

what you

see.

It's literally one dance move, but it's like you need to have actual rhythm to do it.

And that's something a lot of people don't possess.

And it's like

people have been doing the dance, and like it's actually become like a funny thing where it's like, we're just really like applauding people for trying because it's such a simple dance, but it's so complicated.

I got to check it out.

Send me the clip.

Yeah, you know who did a really good one?

Ashley Darby.

She's killing it on TikTok, by the way.

I've seen some of her stuff.

I love that for her.

Song of the year: ABCDEFU U by Gail and Co.

Kidding me.

No, that's like A B C, right?

F you and your mom and your sister and your job.

And it's insane.

That's like 10 things I hate about you being nominated.

Yes, it's exactly the same genre.

Your favorite.

You know what song I heard recently?

Because I, on my new running playlist, it's all this like teenage

top music.

Oh, yeah.

I went for a run.

Twinkle, twinkle.

You know that one?

Twinkle, twinkle, little bitch.

Why you're such a narcissist?

Narcissist.

No, it's literally like cringe music.

I like it.

I know.

But I can't believe it's Grammy-worthy.

No, that's insane.

Yeah.

About Damn Time by Liz O and Co.

All Too Well, 10-minute version, Taylor Swift and Liz Rose.

As it was by Harry Styles and Co.

Bad Habit, Steve Lacey and Co.

Break My Soul, Beyonce and Co.

Easy on Me, Adele Adkins and Greg Kirsten.

Not Adele having a last name.

So true.

That's crazy.

What's Madonna's last name?

I don't know.

Imagine it's like Cohen.

Lift shits.

God Did, DJ Khaled and Co.

The Heart Part 5, Kendrick Lamar and Co.

Just like that, Bonnie Wright.

Only Bonnie Wright.

You hate to see country not getting getting into the song of the year category.

So I went to a list of snubs of this year, and there are a lot of snubs.

Country as a whole was snubbed in the big four categories.

Morgan Wallen is super snubbed.

Yeah.

I think people would have thought that Wasted on You would have been nominated in some of these categories.

Because when you look at the numbers, and you know, Kanye loves to say,

they say you got to sell it to smash the Grammy.

Grammys really cares about like streams and sales.

That's like a huge factor when they're deciding on who to nominate.

And whatever you think of Morgan Wallen, you actually can't ignore the fact that he has the biggest numbers in the industry.

Like it's at, he's breaking records.

Same with Luke Holmes.

Like country has really blown up because of the two of them in the last couple of years.

They're like two of the biggest artists in country, but also like really in America.

Like they're doing stadium tours.

They're playing the same venues as Taylor Swift.

That's bigger than like

Selena Gomez, Katie Perry.

You know what I mean?

Bigger than than a lot of the pop girlies.

And I feel like they're constantly being ignored.

And it's crazy.

Yeah.

Also, Nikki Minaj was snubbed.

And she

was a few weeks ago about how they were putting her song in the pop category instead of the rap category, which was already a snub.

But she wasn't,

she wasn't even nominated in pop.

One thing about me, I'm the badass.

Also on my running playlist.

One thing about Nikki Minaj, and I've been like a hater in the past, is like she is talented.

Like she actually genuinely cannot make a bad song.

Yeah.

No, I'm like, I'm obsessed.

No, I'm actually obsessed.

New artist, always an interesting category, and there's a lot of snubs.

Wait, just back to that.

Sorry, for Song of the Year prediction.

Like, I do think it'll be between Liz O'Harry and Taylor Swift.

Like, Taylor's, like, when you think of Song of the Year, you think of the...

It should be all too well 10-minute version.

Sorry.

I know you just think of the song that's like always on the radio, always at the clubs.

And like All Too Well is a song that people sought out to stream and watch on YouTube like by themselves.

It wasn't like consumed a lot in public.

Do you know what I mean?

Also, it's a 10-minute version, means it's three times better than all these other songs.

It's it needs to win.

I'm not like, I don't even want to discuss the other songs, can have their opportunity in other categories.

Agreed, it's like not my problem.

The other songs can try Sears, it's not my problem where they decide to get their joy,

not our problem.

New artist,

Anita, Anita, Omar Apollo, Domi and JD Beck, Mooney Long, Samara Joy, Lotto, Mainskin, Toby Nuig.

Oh, this one has a pronunciation.

Hold on.

Toby Nuigay, Molly Tuttle, and Wetleg.

I haven't heard of any of these, like, except for a few, and I do think it'll be Mainskin.

Except for Mainskin, because they're from Euro.

Eurovision.

They're the winners of Eurovision.

And honestly, we were watching Eurovision and I was like, who are these people?

I was like, I don't even remember their performance.

They have blown up, especially in the States, which is crazy because I think they're Dutch.

It's really,

it's unprecedented.

And I do actually think they deserve to win.

Yes.

Also, snubs for the new artist category, according to Billboard, which actually did a pretty good snub and surprise list.

M Behold, Dove Cameron, Gail, Tate McRae, Lauren Spencer Smith.

Okay, wait, that's such a good call, Tate McRae.

The thing is, is like

the Grammys are really interesting to me.

and Gail was nominated for song of the year with ABCD EFU right

um but the Grammys like I'm very curious like how much of a part TikTok plays in the Grammys obviously it's a contributing factor but like Tate McRae Lauren Spencer Smith they're tick tock artists like obviously they're now expanding beyond that but like that's what people associate them as more so Lauren Spencer I feel like Tate McRae has kind of evolved a little bit out of that, but both of them are TikTok girlies.

And I'm curious, like, how much of an impact TikTok has on Grammys.

They have to consider it, obviously.

I think that it's one thing, just like radio is one thing, just like streaming is one thing, you know, just like concert ticket sales are one thing.

I think it's just one thing.

Yeah.

Also, I think snubbed Mimi Webb is my best new artist of the year.

Mimi Webb is really not that big in America.

That's the only thing.

You're LARPing.

And that's why I'm in the same place.

You're LARPing in Britain.

Like, you're not in New York, right?

You're not in Florida right now.

Like, you're Laura.

That's why as Americans, we're going to be falling behind.

right no and on the global stage

Mimi Webb we're sleeping on little mix and we continue to stay asleep and it's like I'm awake over here no on the global stage it's like embarrassing as Americans I hear you yeah best pop solo performance easy on me Adele I think Adele is not going to win I don't think she's gonna even come yeah I feel like you know when it could be your year and you know when it's not and I don't think artists huge artists really are gonna waste their time going I actually think Adele might go go because, like, she's kind of going to everything recently.

Oh, she's true.

She's out and about.

She's very available.

And she lives in LA.

She got that big old compound that she bought.

There's a party down the street.

Sure.

Why not?

Sure.

And she loves a good time.

I think she can appreciate the other people who win.

Whenever she's like gone and someone else wins, she's so happy for them.

Like, I feel like that's just the energy she could have been putting forth.

I think if Beyonce goes, Adele will go because like Adele is obsessed with Beyonce.

Yeah.

Moscow Mule, Bad Bunny, Woman, Doja Cat, Cat, Bad Habits, Steve Lacey, About Dan Tyne, Lizzo, as it was.

I don't like really care about the particular genre categories because that just has like people who couldn't make it in the of the year categories.

But when you just go to country really quick,

yep, on my way.

Because I want to know who Billboard had as a snub.

I feel like there's probably ones I didn't even think about.

Hold on.

Country solo performance.

Heart first, Kelsey Ballerini.

Something in the orange.

Something in the orange, Zach Bryan.

In his arms, Miranda Lambert.

Circles around this town.

Marin Morris.

Live forever.

Willie Nelson.

Where the fuck is Luke Holmes?

His album.

He's in Country Album of the Year.

Oh, okay.

He is in Country Song of the Year with Doing This.

And he is in Country Duo Group Performance with Outrunning Your Memory.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

But his album should have been nominated for Album of the Year.

It's my album of the Year.

I agree.

I agree.

So this category is really interesting because

I feel like it might be like an underdog situation with Zach Bryan.

Are you into Zach Bryan at all?

Is that the one that you were just talking about?

No, that's Tyler Childers, but like it's the same vibe.

Okay.

I discovered them both on TikTok.

Zach Bryan is so cute.

He's a 50 and I'm like 95% sure his girlfriend is a toaster.

Like you just absolutely love to see it.

And he's just like.

insanely talented and his music is so good and it's it's like this it's the last time i was talking about tyler childers i was like struggling to explain explain what genre he was It's very much like folks bluegrass vibe I kept saying alternative and that's like not it like folksy Bluegrass music.

It's just it's country but like really stripped down

And it's really beautiful and he has like this cult following and I feel like he could because there's not like an obvious winner to me in that in that country category because Luke Hombs and Morgan Wallen were both snubbed.

And well, there's a bunch of and that's the country solo performance.

Yeah, he could win that.

But I just feel like it's going to be like Willie Nelson or something.

Totally.

Like they don't know how to rate country music, sorry.

No, they don't.

They should really bring in some gorgeous Jewish consultants.

No, and it's like, and that, and we're obsessed with country, so that's what we feel about country.

I'm sure everybody who is obsessed with other categories are feeling like they don't know how to rate their categories either.

So true.

You know, I think that's the frustration with the Grammys right there.

So true.

Country Duo Group Performance, Wishful Drinking, Angry Dondres, and Sam Hunt.

Hate that song.

Yeah, it's not as good as it should be considering

Sam are wonderful.

Agreed.

Midnight Rider's Prayer, Brothers Osborne.

I love them, but I don't even know what song that is.

Me neither.

Outrunning Your Memory, which is it, period.

Everyone go home.

You guys end all too well.

It's the best song.

It's literally the best song.

Outrunning your memory.

McLean.

You'd love this bar.

I sound like good, right?

No, but this is the best part, ready?

Because you've been right here in this truck in San Antonio.

Like, not me going to San Anton, you know?

Girls trip.

Girls trip.

Does he love you?

Revisited.

Reba McIntyre and Dolly Parton.

I'm sure they'll win, even though no offense.

Never heard of it.

No, never wanted to be that girl.

Carly Parson, Ashley McBride.

Great song.

That is a great song.

Great song.

Going Where the Lonely Go.

Robert Plant and Allison Krauss.

Oh, Allison Krauss is like a country legend, but who's Robert?

Country album.

Let's talk.

Let's talk.

Growing up, Luke Homes.

For me, this is it.

Done.

Everybody go home.

It wasn't going to happen for you this year.

Maybe try next year.

No, maybe you should try releasing music like a year maybe that Luke Homes is taking off.

Because if you're going to be in the category in the running with Luke Holmes, like you are going to lose, sweetie, okay?

In our hearts and minds, at least, for sure.

Yeah,

you're all losers to me.

Palomino, Miranda Lambert.

Actually, an amazing album.

I listened to a lot of it.

Ashley McBride presents Lindville.

Ashley McBride.

It's hard for me to root against Ashley McBride when I so deeply love and respect her.

When you're her number one fan, right?

I'm her number one fan.

And I just want to say, like, she's so underrated.

She's so talented.

Martha Devon.

Martha Devine.

You put your hands on the wrong damn man this time.

So good.

Humble Quest, Marin Morris.

You know, not my favorite Marin Morris album, and I'm really like a, I feel like I know all of her music.

And I didn't even get into this one like more than once.

Agreed.

And A Beautiful Time by Willie Nelson.

Okay, like,

sure.

Next is Country Song.

So

Circles Around This Town, Marin Morris and Co.

Good song, but I don't think of the year.

And also, I mean, I'm sure it's the single and it's one they put forth, but like, I don't even think it's the best one from the album.

I thought it was really good, like a great country bop.

Doing this, Luke Homes.

Yes.

I'd have a Friday night crowd in the palm of my hands.

Cup of brown look, cup of buddies.

Honestly,

I know I say all the time, like, I would take a bullet, but when I really think about it, like, I actually would take a bullet for Luke Homes because the way he wants to keep doing what he's doing.

The world would suffer without him.

Like, the world would suffer without me too, but like on a smaller scale, I think.

And I would, I would lay my life out on the line for this man.

Okay, but I'm about to switch things up for you because also nominated is I Bet You Think About Me Taylor's version.

Oh, shit.

Okay, this is the thing.

I can, two things can be true.

They're both amazing songs.

But when I think about Country Song of the Year, to to be honest, neither one of them to me are actually the songs of the year.

I feel like doing this doesn't even get played on the radio.

And definitely to country radio a lot.

Yeah.

Where?

In the radio.

There's no more country radio station in New York.

Yeah, it's so true.

Justice for 94.7 Nash FM.

Like, bring it back.

I'll literally, I'll do an hour.

I'll do an hour every day.

Nash FM,

you should donate your fortune to bring back Nash FM as like public radio service.

Quick question.

What fortune are you fucking talking about?

I'm just saying, like in the hypothetical conversation of like, okay, you're just

Bezos.

You have $100 million and you're doing the giving pledge.

Like where are you giving all your money?

You know what I'm giving it to?

Nash Night Slide.

I'm giving it to New York Country Music Education.

I'm going to bring, I'm going to give it to the Nashville

Country Music Hall of Fame, Taylor Swift Education Center, for them to open up a branch right here in New York.

And the branch is in my living room.

Yeah, so you're donating to the arts.

You're a patron of the arts.

One thing about me is I support the arts.

Okay, let's finish this country song of the year.

If I was a cowboy, Miranda Lambert and Co.

I'll love you till the day I die, Willie Nelson and Co.

And Cody Johnson, Till You Can't.

Honestly, I don't feel like any one of them was like the biggest song in country this year.

No, me neither.

Not that I know what the biggest song in country is, but also Billboard had said that

Cody Johnson, Till You Can't was passed over for Song of the Year and should have been nominated based on like popularity.

I don't know it.

You probably wouldn't, I don't, yeah.

I can't recall it, but I'm sure I would know it if I heard it.

Cody Johnson is like one of those people who are like, it's real country.

It's not that pop country crap they play on the radio.

Like, Cody Johnson is like the face of like real country.

And people are obsessed with him.

I know nothing about him, but they call him Kojo.

And I think him and co-host should get together and write a book.

100% a sexy country book.

Oh, I kind of love it.

Also, it's worth noting, I'm loving this Billboard article.

No country album has received an album of the year nomination since Casey Musgrave's Golden Hour.

And I just want to say, I know it was like, it was a really bad year to be giving nominations out to Morgan Wallen, but his timing for that scandal could not have been worse because his album, 30, The Dangerous, the double album, was the biggest album of the year in terms of numbers, streams, sales.

And he would have gotten a nomination had he not been like, you know, blacklisted from

everything.

Also, it was the biggest album in terms of length.

It was like 100 songs.

But that doesn't eat.

That doesn't automatically give you

a single song.

You could have released an album of crap.

If you have more fire songs, it's better than an album with less fire songs.

Not to say that's why he should have been nominated, but it's like commendable that he literally put out 100 fire flame songs.

There's no skips.

There's no skips on that album, Ermie.

I agree.

That was like a really tough time to be like into Morgan Wallen music.

And then like you saw this and you were like, oh my God, I can't listen.

But like you were, like the music was really good.

So it was like hard to stop listening, you know?

Yeah.

I feel like

he's probably had to make peace with the fact that like these sorts of accolades like are not going to be coming his way and he has to just, you know, either continue on or not.

I don't know if that'll change, but I think we're very much still in like the ignoring Morgan Wallen phase.

Country is like very slowly let him back in.

He goes to award shows.

He doesn't really win stuff.

And I think he gets nominated now, but doesn't win in categories where he obviously should.

I'm not sure.

Did he perform at the CMAs this year?

No.

They're very much like keeping him at arm's length.

He doesn't seem like the kind of person who would care so much about industry stuff like this.

But I imagine for him, it's like, okay, you know, that side of things isn't going to happen for me.

But then he sees like other people who have committed like worse crimes said worse things and they get their you know uh

they take their hiatus and then they're back like nothing ever happened and and he's kind of like stuck and he's like why at its core i think that's fundamentally the problem with like the whole you know scandals and cancellations is because it's really People get treated case by case differently.

Some people, it's just based on the timing of when things happen, the scale, how many people actually care.

It's always like, it's different punishments for different people and they're not always equal and they don't always make sense so i think fundamentally that's what's the problem with cancel culture because like if we're gonna cancel everyone like everyone gets same

same punishment for all but some people there's just like amnesia yeah some people just forget and it's like oh you were accused of sexual assault i never heard of that yeah or like you said this thing like you just it's like oh have you do you remember that totally no it's other people it's like the lead headline in every article right like you cannot bring their name up without bringing up their scandal from however many years ago.

It's interesting.

So I will be watching the Grammys.

I happen to really enjoy the Grammys

because I'm a patron of several different genres.

And I'm obviously, of course, hugely influential on TikTok.

And so I know a lot about music.

Yeah, you really do.

So the Grammys are February 5th.

Feels like a long time away, but it does.

The nominations are here.

Okay, we need to move on to our next story, which is a little more music news because there's like

something going on between Drake and Taylor Swift.

Yes.

Okay, so Drake posted the Billboard Hot 100,

which he has totally taken over with his new album, Her Loss.

And he has eight out of the 10 spots on the Billboard Hot 100.

He has numbers two through nine.

Number one is Taylor Swift.

Number 10 is Unholy with Sam Smith and Kim Petrus.

And he posted a screenshot of the Hot 100 and he put emojis over Taylor's name and Taylor's song and said, 21 Savage, congrats, my brother, because they took over the list.

But he didn't block out the other non-Drake 21 Savage artists.

And people were speculating that there is definitely some shade there.

Then Drake's producer also seemingly shaded Midnight.

He took a screenshot on his own Instagram and wrote, the world knows what the real number one song is.

Hashtag rich flex.

No tricks on this side.

So

subtly accusing Taylor of some tricks.

So, what

song was number one?

Anti-hero?

Auntie Sneeches Hero.

Yeah, so I guess the beef is that they're accusing her of like either, you know, doing something to keep her spot on the number one chart.

I don't really feel like Taylor's at a place in her life where she needs to do that, and it sounds like Drake is just a sore loser.

And this is not cool because one thing I've always really liked about Drake is like his relationship with Taylor.

I feel like it was like a year ago that he randomly posted a picture of them on their Instagram.

You know, obviously,

like recently or

I saw recently, I saw yesterday.

The picture is gone.

The pic is gone.

Beef is, there's beef stew in the caraway.

It's a chocolate.

There's a cholent for Shabbat.

That's not good.

I like Drake, my Jewish king.

But Taylor.

And, you know, Protestant Taylor is the queen of my heart.

Body and soul.

Is she Protestant?

I don't know but I was just like making a point like even though Drake is Jewish like I do stand with Taylor got it

you know who else is Protestant the queen queen Victoria and queen Elizabeth

um this is just

I hate like reporting on something where we have literally no information but there's beef and that sucks but can I ask a question can I ask you a question

have you ever I forget the lyrics and I've tried to put them out of my head because they're weird.

And

how is it that last week Taylor took over the Hot 100

with all of her songs?

And then this week, only one is still in the Hot 100 when I feel like no less Swifties are streaming the songs.

Well, I think it might not have to do with like less Swifties, but it's like now Drake has entered the chat.

Yes, but okay, so even like number 10 being unholy, like

where, where's Midnight?

No, that's a good, good call.

And

Anti-Hero, I guess it's getting on the radio, so that has a single Billboard, but like, we're all just listening to the whole album.

No, that's true, but like, Billboard, those charts are like so antiquated because they like, still, it's like radio airplay.

So, so many of those things contribute to what makes a number one single.

And that's, that's Taylor's game.

Like, Taylor, all these artists have very much like moved on from like the old school way of dropping music and like radio hits, radio singles.

Taylor does it the old school way because these things like Billboard, like, they actually matter to her.

You know what and and maybe i'm also just like a pop girly so i see taylor stuff but then i look at these um grammy nominations for song of the year and like if it wasn't a single i don't know it No, it's true.

And like you forget like the way that you feel about like pop and country, there's literally millions of Drake fans who feel that way about Drake and don't fuck with Taylor Swift.

So his new album entering the category, it makes sense why he would cut out a lot of her.

Yes, that makes sense to me.

But number 10 being unholy didn't make sense to me.

I know that's she had one through 10 a mere week ago, and a mere week ago.

And I can't imagine I'm the only one.

I was barely listening to midnights, whereas now this week, I'm listening every day.

Well, I think most people had the opposite experience.

I feel like the longer it's out, the more you listen to it.

Like, if you're like a real, like, die-hard fan, you know.

Oh my God, so I'm die-hard for Taylor.

You are.

I think in the skill, like ski through the lens of the Big Bang Theory, I am.

Yeah.

Through the lens of you and Margo, I'm a hater.

Yeah.

And that's on

perspective.

100%.

Are you ready for our next story?

I really am.

Some Christmas drama legal news.

Mariah Carey has been denied the Queen of Christmas title in a trademark case.

Mariah got a lump of coal in her stocking before the holiday this year.

On Tuesday, the U.S.

Trademark Trial and Appeal Board ruled against the Pop Diva's legal attempt to trademark the name Queen of Christmas.

It was also ruled that she can't trademark the titles Princess

Christmas or QOC for Queen of Christmas either.

The decision means that the Regal Holiday monikers can still be used by another singer, Elizabeth Chan, who says she's the world's only full-time pop Christmas recording artist.

Well, her and Michael Bublay.

But Elizabeth, who has put out 12 albums of Christmas music to date, has also used the title Princess of Christmas as a nickname for her daughter and sometimes collaborator, whose name is Noelle.

I think this woman

is the Queen of Christmas.

Yes.

So Mariah was attempting to trademark the Queen of Christmas title via her company called Lotion LLC to use on a line of merchandise that would include albums, fragrances, pet accessories, sunglasses, and more.

But Chan filed an opposition in the case earlier this year.

Other singers, such as Christmas Baby, Please Come Home singer Darlene Love also objected to Mariah's move.

And the attorney who wrecked Chan said in a statement, this was a classic case of trademark bullying.

We are pleased with the victory and delighted that we were able to help Elizabeth fight back against Mariah's overreaching trademark trademark registrations.

Elizabeth told page six, quote, I did this to protect and save Christmas.

Christmas isn't about one single person.

It's about everybody.

You know what?

She's 100% right.

Great.

Justice.

For that.

And

I want to say I agree with Elizabeth.

Like, there really can't be one queen of Christmas.

And if there had to be, it would be Mrs.

Claus.

And so the fact that like everyone's out here kind of forgetting about Mrs.

Claus is hella disrespectful.

Yeah, and she stays silent on the matter because she's not someone who would like to get in the mud.

She doesn't want to be a polarizing figure.

She's literally the queen of Christmas for all.

Right.

And like, she doesn't have to prove herself as the queen of Christmas.

You know, like, this is like something who are

jockeying to be the queen of Christmas.

But it's so true.

Mrs.

Claus has it in the bag.

Also,

of course, All I Want for Christmas is the best Christmas song of all time, period.

There's nothing to be said after that.

Agreed.

But

one Christmas song does not make the queen of Christmas.

Because if that was the case, then I do think, you know, who else could throw her hat in the ring as the queen of Christmas?

It would be Miss Kelly Clarkson.

Of course, you're

here.

Where should she be?

Snow is falling as cameras sing.

No children wouldn't sing.

Alone on Christmas Day.

But then.

One day,

everything

changed.

You're on the lead Underneath the tree.

Literally, people who hate our singing episodes like this episode, not for you.

You know who should stay away today?

People who hate singing and the big-footed toasters.

And the Grinch, because it's extremely festive.

So true.

So

Christmas for all.

Sounds like justice was served and the American legal judicial system is finally doing its thing.

Yeah, I think that's pretty cool.

It's pretty cool.

And Mariah can still be the colloquial

queen of Christmas.

Agreed.

But

so can anyone who wants to be.

Agreed.

Agreed.

Our next story is really crazy.

And I know that you're going to have some strong feelings.

Jana Kramer says that she was ghosted by Chris Evans after he smelled her asparagus pea on a date.

Just listen to the story.

So Jana Kramer has a podcast and Chris Evans.

We know.

Chris Evans was named sexiest man alive last week, as we also know.

And so she opened up on her podcast about her brief romance with Chris Evans about 10 years ago and how things between them soured after a very embarrassing bathroom incident.

She revealed that she agreed.

Sorry, she agreed with the choice to name him sexiest man alive and then talked about how they met at a club when she was 26 and went on a few dates more than 10 years ago.

She said he was definitely known.

He wasn't Captain America, but he was the heartthrob cutie.

I can't remember how many dates it was.

I just remember the last date.

She said one night, Chris invited her to his home in Studio City to hang out with his friends.

She said, quote, it was a fun time, but I was getting a little sleepy.

And so I was like, I'm going to go to bed.

I had asparagus for dinner that night.

So I went to the bathroom and he immediately went after me.

And so that's the last interaction that I remember is him going into the bathroom after I just went to the bathroom with asparagus paint.

She said that she never heard from Chris again after leaving the next morning and she called her exit the asparagus walk of shame.

She said, I don't remember cuddling that night.

That's always been in the back of my mind whenever I think about or see Chris Evans or Captain America.

And I'm like, I had stinky pee.

Okay, that's actually really funny.

I know.

I thought it was going to be like she did something disgusting, like, but no, he used the bathroom after her, which is just like genuinely like a fucking rude thing to do.

Like, wait a minute, bitch.

Like, it's just like, it's also really kind of gross.

And, you know, Studio City, you have a big house.

Like, use a different bathroom.

Totally.

Totally.

I like find like whenever Janet Kramer's in the news, news, it's like her podcast.

She's like fighting with her husband or something.

She's like, oh, they're not together.

But you would never know.

You know what I mean?

No, it's just like she's kind of become like this like clickbaity, like kind of like annoying.

And it's made me honestly just like find her annoying.

But I have to say, this story is actually hilarious and relatable and truly warmed my heart.

Totally.

And so real.

And it's like, imagine for 10 years, every time you saw Chris Evans, like on TV, on a magazine, it's like, oh my, but asparagus.

I do think like, you know, she should have known better

being, you know, even the possibility of, I don't know, maybe she had asparagus and she didn't know Chris Evans was going to ask her out.

The possibility of knowing Chris Evans means you never eat asparagus.

Like, she should have known better in that sense, but you know, we're all human and we all make mistakes.

Yeah, who knows if she ate it on the date or before and then he invited her.

No, even if she ate it before, the fact that she's in the, you know, I'm dating Chris Evans means no Chipotle, no asparagus.

Like, we're eating clean, we're eating green, we're eating healthy.

Like, okay, but there are things.

Asparagus is clean and green.

Oh, shit.

You're right.

No, but asparagus is known.

You know, it's like, so are beans.

But, you know, if I'm going on dates with Chris Evans, even if I don't have, even if it's Tuesday and I have a date with Chris Evans on Friday, I'm not eating beans, greens, asparagus.

I'm not eating any of that shit.

Agreed.

I'm literally eating lettuce.

This is an unfortunate event.

She also said that she has since DM'd him.

I think like since she's been single, she didn't say whether or not he responded.

I kind of ship,

but kind of, but like, honestly, they're too, they're too different now.

Like, because of her podcast and her marriage, like she has been kind of put into like a Z-list category, and he's very, very A-list.

So I don't think it's going to work.

Yes, I hear you, but I raise you.

One, Wells, Adams, and Sarah Highland.

Nick Violin, January Jones.

How come only, how come only the men

of lesser fame get to be with A-la-la-day-day?

Aiji Hadid and Taylor, not Taylor, Tyler Cameron.

Yep.

How come only

men of lesser fame get to hit it better?

That's true.

And I was saying yesterday how, like, if it's a man of lesser fame, no.

Woman of lesser fame, yes.

Also, let's say forget she's on One Tree Hill.

Like, that's pretty cool.

No, Friday Night Lights.

She was on one.

She was on One Tree Hill and Entourage.

And I need you to never utter those words again and move on.

Pivot.

She's on Final Night Lights.

That's pretty cool.

Move on.

Anyways, I thought that was a great story.

Fifth and final.

I thank Janet for sharing.

And this is what podcasts are for.

I just want to say.

This is why the art of podcasting was invented and why celebrities should have podcasts to share with us lay people funny celebrity anecdotes such as this.

I also think it's kind of disgusting of Chris Evans to like have a powder room that doesn't have like a Febreze or a a candle like I just think that's as my people would say zello covered it's not respectful it's not nice Chris's advocate here it was over 10 years ago he's a bachelor in Hollywood like you'll be happy if he has a fitted sheet on the bed no he's a bachelor in Hollywood but he's also like a rich actor with like housekeepers and interior designers get a candle get an incense Chris's advocate here

This was before Captain America.

You know, he was doing, what's your number, a few movies here and there.

Yeah, he had plenty of money.

He had money but maybe he was saving because he didn't know how his career was gonna go saving so you can't buy a candle but you could buy a whole house okay

but what if he has a candle in his bathroom but it wasn't lit because nobody hadn't made a duty yet and would it have been better if Jana lit the candle and signaled to the party that there was a smelly situation.

So here's what you do.

If there's a candle and you made a smelly thing, you take the match,

you light the match, and then you blow blow it out, and you drop it in the toilet and flush because the sulfur from the match will get rid of any smell.

And then you wait like 30 seconds so that he doesn't walk in and smell match.

No, but it smells like match.

And then at this point, match smells like duty because people only do that when they make a duty.

Match does smell like duty.

Like when I smell a match, I'm either like, ooh, birthday cake, or ooh, duty.

It depends.

You can tell the difference because it has a different smell when it's blown out immediately.

Yes.

When the wax has a chance to melt also also

am i smelling a match in the bathroom or am i smelling a match in the kitchen also match is fire on wood birthday is fire on wax wax it's different you're right different smell so my final question is would you rather chris evans thought you made a duty with your match

or asparagus pea You know, that's actually really interesting because if he thought I made a duty with my match, he'd be like, all right, she poops like everyone else,

but she's a lady who cleans up after herself and lit a match.

If he smells the asparagus bee, he might think there's something wrong with me, like I have a you know, some condition.

Yeah,

that's why it's so unnatural, that's why you just shouldn't use the restroom.

Yeah, no eating or drinking for 48 hours before you see Chris Evans.

Yeah,

sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.

Agreed.

Our fifth and final story:

a little royal news:

Miracles happen once in a while when you believe.

Princess Diaries 3 is in the works at Disney.

Anne Hathaway is not yet confirmed.

However, she has said in interviews that she is down to clown around as the princess of Genovia.

She'll do it.

She'll do it.

She'll like it.

And she'll do it, okay?

So Disney is returning to Genovia for a third Princess Diaries movie.

It's not clear if Anne will reprise her role, however, she has expressed interest.

She said,

quote, I would more than entertain it.

I'm pulling for it.

If there's any way to get Julie Andrews involved, I think we would make it work.

Andrews' involvement in Princess Diaries 3 is similarly ambiguous.

Plot details haven't been confirmed, but the prequel is expected to continue the story in the Princess Diaries and the sequel, The Royal Engagement, rather than rebooting the series.

So it would be same setting, same characters.

Good, not, you know, Princess's daughter.

Ugh.

Going to high school in San Fran.

The Princess Royal.

Yeah.

No, I think this is fabulous.

Anne is very much like whatever the opposite of Flop Era is.

Anne is in that era.

People are just like obsessed with her.

There was

a couple of years where she could have done the three quill and like we would not have been into it.

Also, like the timing is really good because I feel like Princess Diaries has like made a resurgence in recent years.

People like are even more obsessed with it.

It's been like, it's been enough time that it's officially like in the archive, like the hall of fame of iconic movies.

And I think it's great.

I think this is great.

I think Anne would do great.

And I'm looking forward to it.

I think that if Anne and Julie Andrews are in it, there's no way that it's anything short of wonderful and high quality.

So I have the utmost confidence.

Yes, I think this might just be one of those situations where we hear about the reboot for 10 years, a la Legally Blonde 3.

It's like the script is being written.

It's being cast.

Where's the fucking movie?

Barbie.

At least I saw a a picture of Barbie being filmed.

Yeah, but maybe Legally Blonde is a closed set.

It's supposed to come out in May.

We'll see about that.

Yeah.

So I think this would be great.

This would be great.

We need to get a big calendar in the studio.

Yes, of all the projects.

Of like the dates that they said we could expect something.

Wicked.

And then we follow up when we inevitably don't get it.

I love that.

Yeah, maybe I'll do it on the flamingo wall, like in front of me, so I can see.

Like one of those whiteboard calendars.

Mm-hmm.

Love that.

I also love Dear Toasters, which is our advice segment that we do here every Wednesday.

If you ever want to write in, the email address is deartoasters at gmail.com.

It is always anonymous.

It is always, your name is kept out of our mouths.

So it is a safe space.

Feel free to write in.

And we've got some great

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All right, checks are plugged.

Strap in because this one's a doozy.

My PJOM husband and newly converted toaster found out last week that his dad, aka my father-in-law, is dating someone.

He hasn't really dated after his divorce, so we're still getting used to the thought of seeing him with a new woman.

So fast forward to Saturday morning at 7.50 a.m., I'm on my phone scrolling through Instagram when I get a text notification from my father-in-law to my husband and I.

Without thinking, I open the text message and to my horror, it is a very explicit sext, clearly meant for his new girlfriend.

I didn't realize it at first because it was a long message that started with, I just woke up from a rather sensuous dream about you with a blank word that rhymes with election.

And I kept thinking I was misreading the words.

My brain truly couldn't comprehend.

My father-in-law realized right after sending and started texting and calling me.

My husband lied and told his dad that he deleted the message from my phone before I woke up.

So as far as my father-in-law is aware, I never saw it.

He's coming over for dinner next weekend and I don't think I can look at him the same.

My husband never had to read the text because I warned him before he saw it.

And as mentioned, my father-in-law thinks that I never saw it.

So really, I'm the only one who's panicking over this face-to-face interaction.

I don't think I'll be able to act normal.

Help.

Sincerely, a very traumatized toaster.

Um, I don't know.

I feel like the situation was genuinely handled perfectly.

Your husband, whose actual father it was, didn't have to see the message.

And then your husband protected you from the shame of your father-in-law knowing that you saw it.

Sounds like a perfect situation.

You know, not an ideal situation, but handled perfectly.

And you're like looking for things to complain about.

Yeah, nobody knows who knows what, which is the best case scenario in this instance.

And honestly, the person I feel the worst for is your father-in-law.

Like nobody feels more awkward than the person who sent that.

And I, I'm happy for him that he, that his son didn't see it and that he can think and believe that his daughter-in-law didn't see it.

So maybe he can find some peace in this incredibly traumatizing situation.

And yeah, for you, like you're, you have to shoulder this one and you have to deal with it.

But thankfully, it's not your blood.

And it's okay for you.

No, this is ideal.

Honestly, when I read it and I was like, oh my God, your husband covered for you.

Your husband's a PJ.

I'm like,

literal perfection.

I don't know what you're seeking advice on.

How is she going to handle dinner knowing that he had an election?

You'll be fine.

Like, how do you think your son was born?

I mean, how do you think your husband was born?

Like, old people, they're going to fuck.

Your son, too.

People are going to fuck.

Your son, too, if you have one.

I don't know.

But, like,

people fuck.

Don't be mature.

Like, it's fine.

It's fine.

No, because I'm sorry.

Like, there are people with real problems.

This is not a problem.

No, it's just like a little awkward, but you know what?

Like, keeping it interesting.

No, please think about how much worse it could have been.

Like, for real.

Yeah.

You could have seen a picture.

Could have seen a picture.

You had a big penis in your inbox.

Big penis and a big

collection in your inbox.

Your father-in-law could be walking around knowing that you saw it, and he doesn't know that.

So like.

I think as much as this not ideal situation could be salvaged, it was.

You could have borne.

And we all just need to move on.

You could have borne witness to the election.

You could have borne witnesses.

You could have gotten the election results and you didn't.

Yikes.

So always think how

this could be worse.

That's always a great way to make your problems seem bearable.

Yeah.

All right, next up.

This one is really unique and I feel like we've never dealt with something like this and it.

It's tough, okay?

Hi, Jackson Claude.

First of all, I love you ladies.

Here's my dilemma.

I've been with my fiancé for six years now.

We have a baby together.

He had been previously married and is now divorced, but his ex still uses his last name.

They were married for five years, but here's the thing.

She never even legally took his name.

She is now also engaged to a new man and has a kid with him as well.

This bothers me so much, especially if I'll be taking his name when we get married.

It just makes me feel like I'm number two.

Like, how is everyone okay with this?

My fiancé asked her about it years ago, but she just said it's an easier name for her students to use.

She's an elementary elementary school teacher, by the way.

Every time I bring it up to my fiancé, he brushes it off, but honestly, it bothers me so much even now.

Like she needs to let go of the relationship and his last name.

Am I crazy for thinking she needs to stop using his name?

Juma, I get my fiancé to approach her about it.

How is her new man okay with this?

All right, here's the thing.

It would bother me a lot too, but she's engaged.

So just wait.

Her name should be changing imminently.

Right.

And if it doesn't change when she's married to her new man, I think her new man would be upset.

But I would also just ask, like, does she do other things that make it seem like she's not loosening her grip on your man?

Like, is this just one

thing among many?

Or it's like, you guys have really nothing to do with each other.

She's just this other woman in town who has your last name.

Like,

I feel like you

generally speaking, like, you can't control what other people are going to do.

You can only control your reaction to it.

And

if she doesn't change her name when she gets married or if she stays engaged and they're just in a partnership and and she never changes her name and she's never, you can't make her call herself something that she doesn't want to be called.

You have to find a way to make peace with it and not let it bother you so much.

Yeah, but let's hold on to hope that her pending nuptials will solve this problem.

But if not, yes, you're going to have to do some sort of like inner work to make peace with it.

And it's not like your fault.

And of course, this is frustrating and

it's not.

like an ideal situation.

But if you can't change the facts, then we've got to change how we feel about them and not let them

and not let them have so much control over our emotions.

And like have such a proud effect, profound effect on us.

And you don't want to be like having to go to your partner all the time, like who you love with this thing that's bothering you about his ex, who he doesn't think twice about.

Right.

But I can also under, I totally understand the frustration.

Like I've never been someone's second wife, but like you really want to prove yourself being like, you know, I'm the one, bitch.

Especially if like you live in a smaller town.

And so it's like, oh, here are the soffers.

And there's that other soffer across town right and it's like but she's not a soffer

it's definitely like a weird thing to do if you don't have kids with someone

yeah to get divorced and keep the last name

no i think i yes it's

it's not what i would do but until she gets married again like that is and also she never legally changed it so that's fucking weird but until she gets married again it's not like

category five.

Yeah, let's just pray she

fixes this issue when she gets married, whenever that is.

Wishing her well, I'll send her a saucer.

Gorgeous.

All right, our third and final one.

I love this one.

Dear Claudia and Jackie, I'm a 36-year-old single toaster.

I've had two serious live-in relationships.

Both have ended, and I am now living alone.

I have a great apartment, a steady job, and I find myself at a crossroads.

I'm thinking more and more about having a baby on my own.

Having a family is so important to me.

I'm not getting getting any younger, and I think this might be the best option for me.

I'm wondering if you can weigh in.

Do you have any friends who have done this?

Jackie, as a new mom, can you imagine doing this on your own?

I know this will change my life forever and won't be easy, especially financially, but I don't want to miss out on having a family.

Of course, I will discuss this with my friends, my family, my doctor, but I thought I'd throw it to you girlies as this idea is in its initial stages and I'm wondering what pearls of wisdom you may have.

I just absolutely love this idea.

I don't think, like sometimes in life, like your timeline is just not going to work out.

Like you always think like, I want to have a man and then get married and be married for three years and then have kids.

And sometimes life just has other plans for you.

And the one thing that like, unfortunately, as a woman, like is very time sensitive is your biological clock.

And I love that you're thinking of this.

And honestly, I do have friends.

Brian just did it.

He is 39 and he was like, you know what?

Everyone thought, you know, you have to do this.

And he's like, you know what?

I'm just going to do it.

He's, I saw him last night.

He's so happy.

And

yeah, of course, like, I think he, was saying, you know,

while this child doesn't have like a traditional mom, I want, you know, a million aunties.

Like, there are things you can do.

And I think, you know what?

Don't let the timeline

let you miss out on something that's really important to you.

So I'm all for it.

Yeah.

It's such a big question.

Like, it's not really like something I'm just going to be like, yeah, like it's a huge commitment to do that.

I'm so for it if that's what you want to do.

Like it obviously is

a lot of work and even with two people and it's even more so with just one person.

So I'm not going to minimize that, but I think that having kids is like the most amazing thing.

And if that's what you want, like you should do it and you should have that and have everything that you want.

It's it's a lot.

And but that doesn't mean that it's not worth doing.

And unfortunately, like even as times change, like for women, our bodies don't, you know, there's things that you could do.

You could freeze your eggs.

You could wait longer, hopefully meet someone, maybe like then have a surrogate, but who's to say that that would happen, you know?

So if like you're in those

are such expensive.

Yeah.

So if you're in a place right now where

you like you feel ready and you're prepared to do it on your own, like I think that's amazing.

And I wish you all the luck and well wishes in the world, but it does, it takes a village.

And so I don't know,

I don't know like your life, but like, and or your village but just

be prepared but right ultimately

just based on what I like what she shared and I don't know like the whole picture I would say do it um yeah but also then keep in mind like you're now probably for the next three years I think safe to say like dating is gonna have to be on the back burner for you like because of course you're gonna be a single parent and the first couple of years are hectic um so also keep that in mind yeah also I've heard of stories of people who like who go this route and they have, and they make their own family and then they find the right person and together they're, you know, a whole family.

And everybody has different paths to

their happily ever after.

And so I think that taking matters into your own hands and, and knowing what you want and starting a family is like the most beautiful thing that you could do.

So I

totally have my support.

But just and then when it's a big one for dear ties.

It's a big one.

But then once you have a child and like then you start dating and the guys who like want to be a part of your family, like you're attracting like the most wholesome energy.

Like you're attracting like family-oriented people.

And I feel like I love that.

Yeah.

Because even if you went tomorrow, who you thought could be the real deal.

You wouldn't have kids for years.

For years.

And

we got a clock.

We got to go.

We got clocks.

So I think it's so great that you're being aware of that because

at least for me, like I refuse to think about it, you know?

Yeah.

The clock.

Like, I don't know her.

I do not know the clock.

But the clock knows you.

And the clock knows all.

No, I don't think she does.

I think she knows.

The clock knows me.

She don't know me.

And I hate her.

And I just, I think that if like having a kid is exactly what you want to do, I think you should just go for it.

I agree with, you know, a lot.

The knowledge and understanding.

The knowledge and understanding of what comes with it, but you're also never really prepared.

Even when you think, even, you know, it's,

it's a lot for everyone.

So I think that's wonderful.

And I wish you all the luck.

And I hope we get an update one day.

Me too.

And you keep us abreast of your journey.

We're here for you.

I mean, remotely, you've got our support.

100%.

And that's huge.

And that is also our show.

So thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So it's Spotify, Tony Institute, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Guest Box, all the places.

So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us, the toast, and leave a five-star review about how wickedly talented we are.

Reminder that our holiday collection of merch has officially dropped at toastmerch.com.

Sweaters, pajamas, ornaments, mugs, blankets, slippers, all the things, toastmerch.com.

Don't miss out.

There is limited inventory.

And we will see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Bye.