Sexualizing The Vote: Wednesday, November 9th, 2022

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toasted.

Happy hump day.

It is Wednesday, the middle of the week.

Congratulations.

You made it to the hump.

Now let's get over the hump by humping someone you love.

That's so beautiful, Claudia.

No matter where you are, no matter what season it is, what month it is, like I know that you, Claudia Ashray, McClurdia, will always get me through hump day and remind me to hump my loved ones.

That is.

If that's the legacy I leave here on this here planet, I will be nothing short of grateful.

I think that it's part of your legacy.

I don't know if you, or I don't know how many Wednesdays ago was the last time that you let a hump day go by without letting us know that it's hump day.

It must have been a day where there wasn't a toast, you know, like a Jewish holiday or something.

Yeah.

Speaking of, this is sadly our final episode of the week until Tuesday of next week, because this evening I'm headed out to North Carolina for shows in Charlotte and Durham and then I will be in Birmingham, Alabama this weekend and I will return to New York on Monday, which means the toast will return on Tuesday.

So I apologize for the lack of episodes, but you know, Mogul's got a Moog.

Mogul's got a Moog.

I'm excited for all the toasters who get to see you live in person this weekend.

And I need to make a plan for myself for how I'm going to enjoy this little hiatus.

I have like some things that I'm going to do that I wouldn't be able to do if we were doing toast, but I need to do more of those things.

However,

I should accept Floridians.

There's Tropical Storm Nicole headed our way.

Could turn into a hurricane.

Could not.

It's supposed to make landfall today.

So if you're a Floridian, especially on the coast, beware of Tropical Storm Nikki.

Who knows what she might bring?

Not the Tropical Storm having a normal name for once.

Right, and just being like a female.

Tropical Storm Nicole Mallon.

Literally, like that's such name.

It's such a name.

Who knows what she'll bring us?

Maybe just rains and wind.

She might turn into a hurricane.

Learning so much about hurricane culture now that I live down here.

So everyone, just be prepared, hunker down.

I guess like don't drive if you don't have to.

Make it change.

AKA.

Don't learn how to drive when there's a tropical storm coming through.

Well, perhaps once the storm passes, you could use this free time to learn how to drive.

And speaking of learning how to drive, we've been teasing for a while.

The vlog is finally up.

Jackie's taking her permit test and we don't know if she passed.

We don't know if she failed.

But the only way to find out is go to patreon.com slash the toast.

And the vlog is, people are lauding it as some of our best work.

Our vlogging skills were so on point in the last two weeks.

We have our Halloween vlog up also.

So if you do join Patreon, you'll get access to that.

And people are saying that's their most favorite vlog ever.

It's truly unhinged because you get more Halloween content.

You know, you go like like we're in costume for half the vlog, just like being psychotic, Veris, and Damon.

It was really premium stuff on the Patreon end of October, early November.

There's really never been a better time to join, in my opinion.

But what does my opinion mean?

Nothing.

Your opinion means everything to me, McLaurin.

You mean the world to me.

You are my everything.

You are the only thing that matters, matters to me.

Beautiful.

Very unusual.

And I mean it.

You know, we've got a great show today.

It's Wednesday, which means it's Deer Toasters Day, which is really just one of my favorite things on the planet to do.

And we've got a real,

real tough decision to make for our third and final.

I read it.

Honestly, I have no idea what to do.

Okay, hopefully, maybe it's something that I weirdly have experience in, you know?

I don't think it is.

You don't know everything about me.

That's true, but I do.

And I know that you probably don't have a similar story to the third deer toasters.

And we're coming off of election day.

You know, it's the Wendness Day after election day.

I think like pretty much all the races were called.

Hope everyone got the results.

There's still a few that are like too close to call.

I hope everyone got the results that they were hoping for, even though that's not how elections work.

But it did get me thinking.

I was calling, I spoke to Jackie yesterday.

And I don't know if it was just me, but I feel like for the first time

ever, I was like really looking deeply into like how weird influencer culture is when it comes to

voting and voting.

And I don't know what in particular set me off, but it was just like a day of like watching people's content, like talking to their audience, like they're fucking brain dead.

That like I actually, last night I called Jackie, I was hysterically crying.

I was laughing so hard because I guess I didn't really even put it together until like one day back to back, just seeing everyone's voting content.

I really realized like how almost insulting to our intelligence it is the way influencers talk to us about voting.

Like, make a plan, bring a snack, like

map out your route.

It's like, it's the church on the corner I go to every Sunday.

Like it's like the way they are talking to us, like we're so fucking stupid.

No, it was like, how do we cackle?

How do we survive the other days of the year?

Right.

We need them to hand hold us to the ballot.

No, and then like I think what really did me in was like it was raining in LA and like LA influencers were like bring an umbrella.

Oh what?

I should bring the umbrella in the rain.

I never thought of that.

Like no, it's really like I don't know why they're talking to us like we're first graders.

Like it was so honestly like it was embarrassing.

No, and I wonder if there's anyone, even though I'm sure there's not, who like really is getting their resources, their voting resources, like from influencers no no that's a good question i'm not sure but then that also brings up another point where it's like i don't think yesterday i don't think i posted like a go out and vote like i spoke about it on the podcast and like i don't know i just didn't feel like i needed to hit every platform with the same thing that everyone's posting and like there were a few messages like really irresponsible of you not to use your platform and i just want to know if there's anyone listening Anyone who follows me on Instagram who didn't vote because I didn't post on my Instagram.

I just spoke about it on the podcast.

Because you didn't remind them to vote and they couldn't have remembered any other way.

They didn't see any messaging elsewhere in their community, their friends, their family members.

Nobody else mentioned it.

And if Claudia had, maybe that would have made all the difference.

Right.

And so if that's the case, then that's a you problem, not a me problem.

Yeah.

No, I just don't know how for centuries like people got out the vote when like there weren't influencers on Instagram like posting a picture with their sticker and and and letting you know to make a plan.

The sticker thing doesn't bother me because people want to like flex like yeah I voted like it's become like a social media it's a it's a cute sticker.

I don't mind when people well I only mind when people post their sticker when it becomes a thing like if you didn't right like uh oh shame you're marked no the sticker thing doesn't bother me especially people like we're making cute sticker content it's the obviously encouraging people to vote is a positive thing but it's like the tone in which they do it like is actually insulting like so you tie your shoes then you get in your car make a right and don't forget to bring a snack.

Like, it's like so hotty beforehand

or wear a diaper.

It's literally how you would prepare first graders for a field trip.

Yeah.

No, no.

Because like we are all grown adults, we pay our own bills.

Like we make our own decisions.

Like we know how to get in the car and vote.

And people, and this was the other thing, like, and I will say, like, we voted early.

when you were here.

So like it really did take, I swear to God, three minutes.

But everyone's content, like we just left.

Like it took literally 30 seconds.

Like it was so easy.

Like we literally didn't even have to go to the bathroom.

Like I get it.

Like I get the messaging, but I feel like we've gone, we've, a lot of people like have gotten so internet recently that they, they don't even realize how stupid they sound telling people to take an umbrella out in the rain in LA.

Like we know, we know umbrellas are helpful when it's raining.

Yeah.

Agreed.

It was just making me giggle beyond.

I was like, call Jackie last night, you guys, I was in tears.

Like it was so stupid.

It was so stupid.

And also like the voting messaging, which has been around for a while, but it just like makes me cringe every time is like people like sexualizing voting.

Like voting makes me so naughty.

You know what's one of my turn-ons?

Voting.

You know, vote.

I'm not going to suck your dick.

No, and like at its core, like, yeah, no, everyone should vote.

Like, if you're dating someone and like they don't vote and like they don't care, like that's lame.

But like the phrasing of like, voting makes me what.

Like I could die

it literally sounds like one of my books I could die you there should be a spicy book that you read about voting because that's how that's what's next voting is by the way that's what's next like the way people have been sexualizing voting it's so weird

it's so weird and like we've been voting for centuries like it's it's gonna be okay and no you know you don't cream your pants over

it was it was genuinely too much like i was cracking up

I just think, honestly, I don't even know.

I just think like it's, it's deep internet culture that, like, I was looking at from just a human POV and I'm like, this is dumb.

Yeah.

You know, voting is important.

It's so important.

And that's the bottom line.

Right.

It's not

this hyperbole, the sexualization of voting.

the dumbing down of voting.

Yeah.

We know it's not.

I don't think we need it.

I don't think we need it.

But I just want to remind all of our listeners that if it is raining, it's super important to bring an umbrella.

And that could help you from, shield you from the rain.

That is, you know, at its core, the function of an umbrella.

So.

So something to think about.

I don't know, take it or leave it.

It's a little controversial.

But that's what we do here, you know, hot takes at the toast.

I'm glad we spoke about that because it was cracking me up last night.

And we have a, we have to get into the stories, but there was one other thing.

There's the new, the finale of love is blind dropped i haven't seen it yet anybody fucking spoils it for me i'll literally come to your house and kill you oh my god

um

but i will be watching it tonight on the plane so look out to my stories for some premium recap content can't wait for that yeah so i think now without further ado it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know

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Our stories today are unique, I would like to say, but I think they're inspired.

They're unique New York.

Will inspire some interesting conversation.

Okay.

They're very like Friday stories, but I guess today is our Friday.

It's the Friday of the week for sure.

It's very Friday Wednesday.

Our first story, Lauren Conrad and Mitch, she became Teen Kristen after Laguna Beach Rewatch.

So the big news of the week, really, honestly, nothing shocks me anymore.

I know.

It just shocked me.

We reported a few weeks ago that Kristen Cavallari and Stephen Coletti have a Laguna Laguna Beach rewatch podcast with Dear Media called Back to the Beach.

They've been re-watching episodes of the show and they've been bringing on people from the show, producers, getting a lot of behind the scenes tea about the show.

And I think also for them, it's been like very healing.

They talk about it in this episode that I watched because Lauren Conrad joined the season finale, which blew my mind.

Not only are her and Kristen famous rivals, but Lauren has really disconnected herself from Laguna Beach, the hills, and everything that was once her life with MTV.

So for her to come back, I was shocked that she agreed to it.

They talked about how they even got her on the show.

And then they talked about the season and what they experienced versus what they've now watched back.

No,

I completely agree.

Like genuine shock was my reaction to this.

I never in my life thought I'd see Lauren Conrad even talk about the hills, let alone sit down.

Laguna Beach.

It's only Laguna Beach.

Whatever, you know what I mean?

Talk about that time in her life let alone sit down across the table from kristen cavalier and i think one like just this this guest is like such a big get for dear media and i think like it's it's such a big deal and like they deserve props because this is this is actually like a cultural shift for real like for a generation that grew up on this show this like

this changes everything

Yeah, so I found so many of the things from the episode to be so interesting, but it also made me me realize like

her going on a Laguna Beach rewatch podcast really is so different from her going on a Hills rewatch podcast.

And yes, her and Kristen had like high school beef, but it's not the same thing as like her, Heidi, and Spencer.

You know, I don't think there would ever be them sitting down to talk about the Hills.

Like that shit runs so much deeper.

Whereas I think now looking back, we can all be like.

this was a high school love triangle that actually wasn't even that triangular.

They explained on the show how Lauren and Steven had their thing like before producers came to their high school.

And then senior year, when the producers were interviewing everyone, they learned about this previous beef between Lauren and Kristen that had since been squashed.

Lauren and Kristen said they remembered being at a party and they had it out and they made up and they were fine.

But then when they were telling producers about their lives, producers heard about it and really dug in deep on that feud.

Steven.

And Lauren said all of her senior year, she had different boyfriends.

She was hooking up with different people, but like the producers didn't want her to have anything other than Steven

pining for Steven.

So hearing what actually happened their senior year versus what we saw on the show was really interesting.

And also like their perspective on the show.

Lauren said that she had never watched a whole episode.

Even when it was airing back in the day, she used to only watch her scenes and fast forward through everyone else, which is so fucking relatable.

Yeah.

And she said, so it seems like she has a pretty good relationship with Steven throughout the years.

They talk.

She said that she had COVID by herself.

So she was quarantining by herself for 10 days around the time that the rewatch podcast came out.

So she watched a few episodes of Laguna Beach season one.

She listened to the first episode of Back to the Beach and she said, I thought you guys did such a good job.

You were really reflective, but also like really kind to everyone.

So she felt like it would be a good environment for her to come on.

And the only thing that was like

a little, you know, like there was no,

not disappointing, but it felt like they came on and it's like this whole fight between Lauren and Kristen over the last 15 years was just imagined because they were like, we never had a problem.

And it's like, really?

Like, how can you in real life?

Yeah, like they,

they just like,

I think they have always

didn't like fuck with each other.

Like, yeah, I think that, and they're the type of people who, like, when they are together, they had had a good time.

They have good memories together.

But maybe just like with the spotlight, it was either always either Lauren or Kristen.

Like, Lauren narrated the first season and then she graduated and Kristen narrated the second season.

Lauren helmed the Hills.

I'm sorry, when you keep like bringing up the fact that they were in high school, like it's so crazy to me.

Like high schoolers are so young.

How did they even legally like

get high school?

Like you're like Lauren graduated.

So like Kristen was a junior in high school.

That is psychotic to me.

Yeah, it's really crazy.

And then Lauren was the lead for the Hills, obviously.

And it wasn't until Lauren left the show that Kristen came on.

So it was like they could never even be on the same show together.

And now all of a sudden they're sitting down and it's like, oh, we never had a problem.

It was just a misunderstanding, which I'm sure a lot of it was.

And like they were also in Hollywood.

They were the biggest stars like there's so many different things going on but it just felt like the last 15 years of beef were imagined well when

just going back to what you said about her obviously like would never sit down for the hills um i think a lot of that also has to do because i definitely think like their beef and everything on the show with between lauren um heidi and spencer it was definitely like dramatized but then like it's like afterwards it's like spencer and heidi are still talking about lauren they're still like heidi was on call her daddy being like talking shit about lauren's like multi-million dollar dollar beauty brand being like I mean she should have been Kylie like they're still going after Lauren so it's like of course but now it's like for Lauren and Kristen to like get into the beef of the last 15 years it's so reductive and it's like it makes no sense because like they really don't have like they've never really publicly spoken ill of each other like I can see them just like they've always been like polite

shady so I could see them like brushing these last 15 years like I could see it because like it's really not that deep but with Lauren and Spencer and Heidi it's like Spencer and Heidi don't stop yes And also like the initial beef between Lauren and Kristen was potentially like over Steven and how, you know, he was came between them.

And that's like tell like me trying to care about someone I liked in high school now.

Like you couldn't catch me caring.

The initial beef between Heidi, Spencer, and Lauren is actually kind of serious where like he, they accused her of having like a sex tape and it was real stuff.

Right.

And then it just got crazier and crazier.

But that's also just like life.

Like the shit that goes down in high school like isn't real.

Right.

But I also feel like it makes sense that Lauren and Kristen would be even friendly.

They've had really similar careers.

They have two of them have had the most success from the show.

They have real businesses.

They have these empires and they're in similar spaces, but not exactly the same.

So I feel like they should be friends.

No, I completely agree.

I like ship their friendship so hard.

Lauren looked amazing.

Like when I saw, I think I saw like an Instagram Reels.

trailer on like the dear media Instagram account and like I never in my life would have guessed that's who was sitting down.

It's like my eyes eyes took a second to register to my brain.

Yeah, it was a shock.

They were just like cute with each other.

Also, I thought that the flow of conversation was so good.

I thought Steven and Kristen were really great podcasters.

Like there was no gap.

The questions that they asked were really good.

And I felt like whole, made whole after the whole thing.

It was really, really enjoyable.

I think like the big bombshell from the interview was they were really just trying to explain how like their beef over Steven was like not a real thing.

Like Lauren was hooking up with Talon during that entire season.

Yeah, and other people too.

Like she had other boyfriends.

The whole thing was imagined.

And if MTV was never there, like she would never have been

pining for Steve in her senior year.

I just like I've never properly

sat down and thought about the fact that like Laguna Beach was about 17 year olds.

Like the fact that they were in high school, like I'm still stuck on that.

Like I actually, I'm only realizing it right now.

Like I knew they were in high school, but I never sat down and thought about it.

I actually watched a few episodes maybe five years ago and I was so surprised to see one, like they all seem really drunk in a lot of the scenes and they are like 17, 16, 18.

And I thought like that was so weird.

At the time when I watched it as a kid, I had no idea like that's what I was seeing.

And even Lauren said she was like, what's so crazy is in the episodes I watched, I never really say much.

Like I have a few, I say like a line here, a line there, but I'm not like saying anything.

And I guess it's just interesting, but I also can't imagine watching footage of myself in high school, like

cringe that is.

Oh my God.

Like kill me.

Literally like slit my throat.

But that, okay, you have to watch footage of yourself in high school and you get to have like a multi

million dollar business.

And I think that's what Lauren said, like, because Kristen was like, what was the best part of the show and what was the worst part?

And she was like, well, the best part is that I got to launch my brands and I, you know, have this business that I don't know that I would have without these platforms.

So it's worth it.

And what you say was the worst?

The worst?

Oh, that she didn't have a college experience, really, because she like went to San Francisco.

She was there four days a week, and then she had to fly home to do the voiceovers every weekend.

Oh, that's interesting.

But she was like, that's a small price to pay for what we got out of it.

No, it's so true.

Honestly, like, I never thought everything that Lauren does, it's like, I keep trying, I keep like calling her Elsie.

You can call her Elsie.

Everything that El C does

post Hills is like so refined.

Like her brand, she's very premium.

So I didn't know if there was ever like a day was going to come that she would actually sit down and talk about the experience but now that she did it's like of course it's in like this very like I think this was the perfect conversation it's like I feel like sometimes when people go on like podcasts and just talk about like their you know peak it's like so tacky

and this was just premium and everyone looked great and it was like high production value and it's like number one on the iTunes store like it's all very premium elevated yeah and I think the reason why it's not like tacky or sad is because that actually wasn't their peak.

Their peak has been like the last 15 years and it just keeps going and they're like living the lives that they really want.

And I also thought it was interesting that Lauren actually lives in Laguna Beach now with her family.

Wow, really?

Yeah.

That's so cute.

Yeah, it's really,

it was really cute.

I'm trying to think of some of the other highlights or interesting points.

Oh, a few things that made headlines was Lauren like apologized to Kristen for calling her a slut.

You cabo.

And Kristen was like, I call you a slut too.

And I said really terrible things about you and I'm really sorry.

And like, they could,

I don't think they care anymore.

No, I mean, let's be honest, like, we all called someone a slut in high school.

Like,

yeah, but you don't have to like watch it again.

No, no, there's no proof.

Yeah.

Also, Lauren was like, she was like, that first season when they were filming us and we didn't know if it was going to be a show or anything, like, I thought I just got away with, you know, I just made two grand and this isn't going anywhere.

And like, we just pulled one over on them.

They're going to film us.

We're just being ourselves.

No one's going to pick it up.

And we made two grand.

And so she said, for that reason, like that season is exactly who they were.

Like, and so unfiltered and just so authentic because they did not even know that they had a show yet.

Okay.

How many seasons overall were there of Laguna Beach?

So there's Lauren senior year, Kristen senior year, and then I don't know how many seasons they did after that.

And then also they went and did,

there's three seasons of Laguna Beach.

And then Newport Beach was after that.

But like who was on Newport Beach?

Nobody.

Oh my God.

I just remember that one scene from Newport Beach.

That show never went anywhere, but there was like the one girl and she was kissing that guy for the first time and and they played Bubbly by Colby Calais.

And

I was like, oh my God.

That's all I remember.

That's so funny.

Yeah, Newport Beach, like Newport Beach never really took off.

It's just funny when you think about these shows.

This happens to me a lot, like shows that defined your childhood.

Like you associate it with the entirety of your childhood and then you learn like as you grow up, like Lizzie Maguire was two seasons.

Right.

It's crazy.

But I think Laguna Beach transitioned into the hills pretty quickly.

So we never really had a lull.

No, and then the city, like it was a lot.

The city.

Good times.

Yeah.

Honestly, this whole thing is like kind of making me want to re-watch Laguna Beach.

Maybe you should, and then you should listen to all the episodes and get to behind the scenes.

No, I love this.

I think this was like a huge moment in pop culture.

Like this is something like it'll be in the textbooks.

Yeah, and then I feel like we've really come full circle.

Yeah, no, it's just something I never, I never thought I'd see the day.

I never thought I'd see the day.

Yeah.

So that was a fun

highlight of the week.

Trip down memory lane.

Are you ready for our next story, which is also some amazing news?

Yeah.

Michael Orr married his longtime girlfriend, Tiffany Roy, former NFL player who inspired the movie The Blind Side, has scored a different kind of touchdown.

Orr, whose hard-earned path to football glory was depicted in Michael Lewis' best-selling book and film, The Blind Side, wed his longtime girlfriend, Tiffany Roy, in a lavish ceremony on Saturday.

The pair's nuptials took place in Nashville and was attended by about 200 people.

On Instagram, she said, I'm filled with joy.

Can't believe people took their time and came to celebrate.

Michael Orr said, My beautiful wife, I love you so much.

Thank you for blessing me with our family.

Easily the best single weekend I've ever been a part of.

Oh my God, like Nami being emotional that like Michael Orr is like starting his own family.

Like I'm, I'm actually going to cry.

They actually have two sons already together and two daughters.

Oh my God.

I love that.

Like re, like, you know,

like having your own family after like, you know, growing up without one is like so, oh my God, I'm like emotional.

They've been together for 17 years.

They met when he was at University of Mississippi.

Oh my God, everything I learned about this story makes me love Michael Laura more and more.

Now I want to know, like, was, was the family there?

Were the twoies there?

They are, they're not mentioned in this article.

I don't know.

The last, last time I watched The Blind Side, I went and found all the twoies on Instagram.

One of them is a toaster and a redhead.

You're kidding.

She's a redhead.

Yeah, I think it's the

Collins.

Lily Collins.

I think it's Collins, who was a redhead and a toaster, but like being a redhead is even more impressive.

Like everyone's a toaster.

Of course, no, it's Soniche.

It's Soniche.

And I didn't see that they found Mike, that they followed Michael on Instagram or vice versa.

So I think that there was like trouble.

I tried to Google it.

There wasn't a lot of information because obviously people aren't doing the reporting that we actually

matters.

Yeah.

And so I just left it at that oh my god i'm devastated sorry i didn't mean to i didn't mean to ruin your day no day equals ruined completely yeah but let's bring it back to michael orr has bit has found love for the last 17 years and now he is making it official by i'm so happy for him so i really am i mean they were already together for 17 years and have four kids so like this isn't what i thought it was but so it's a love story already i guess my tears at the beginning were like a little premature and dramatic but um still

i think this is is even more beautiful than the fact, like, then say they were dating for two years, engaged for one, and they got married, and like it could go either way after this.

Like, that's true.

This is a bona fide love story.

So true.

You should feel good about it.

You don't have to do it.

I don't know.

You don't have to check on them.

You don't have to worry about them.

I feel good about it.

So I'd love any excuse to talk about Michael Orr.

I'm so glad he's found love.

Completely agree.

And success.

He just retired in 2016.

Oh, good.

I hope he has like a nice

fortune.

Love that.

I need to watch A Blind Side, but like I emotionally cannot handle it.

There are certain movies that I know are incredible that are genuinely too heavy for me.

And The Blind Side is one of them.

Yeah, that's some, there's something else that I feel like just came up in conversation or something that is too heavy for me.

The pursuit of happiness with Will Smith is genuinely too heavy.

I saw it once when I was like when around when it came out, it destroyed me.

No, that scene where like his boss asks him for $5 to pay for the cab and it's like all he has in his wallet.

Like I, I like I was not okay.

Like certain, like, like certain things, like I, I don't have the inner peace to watch.

Like, yeah, that's one of them.

Of course, like all the Holocaust movies, I can't.

You have to see them once and then never again.

Yeah.

Never again.

Never again.

Never again.

Are you ready for our next story?

I actually just saw the funniest bit on Stan of Stand Up on TikTok hmm

so

actually I hate like reciting stand-up bits just move on it's like never as funny as you think it's gonna be you know

I'll send you the link I'll send you the link send me the link our next story Nikita Dragon has been arrested and charged with felony battery on a police officer I heard about this Nikita Dragon was arrested on Monday night after she was caught walking around a luxury Miami hotel pool naked.

TMZ reported that the YouTuber had allegedly been walking around the pool area in her bathing suit and being disorderly for hours.

Hotel staff claimed that when they were asked, when they asked her to put her clothes back on, she intentionally threw water on them, which is when the cops were called.

However, by the time the police got there, the 26-year-old had retreated to her hotel room and was blasting loud music.

In an attempt to get her under control, police officers and hotel security knocked on her door several times before she finally greeted them.

But when they told her she needed to abide by the hotel rules, she allegedly slammed the door.

Then she allegedly opened the door and told officers, do you want more?

Before throwing a water bottle at them.

She was arrested on the spot.

Following the incident, the influencer was booked for felony, battery on a police officer, misdemeanor, disorderly conduct, and misdemeanor battery.

She was booked at Miami-Dade County's Turner-Guilford Knight Correctional Center.

It's unclear if she's been released.

So this is a crazy story, but I also saw, you know, what's so weird about like Zoom court is that like people can like join.

So somebody joined like her arraignment and she did ask when she would be transferred out of the men's unit.

They put her in the men's unit, which is really sad.

And like really unsafe.

Why?

I don't know.

It was really sad.

Like I saw it on TikTok.

I know.

So she was probably like drunk or something, right?

Like I don't think anybody like acts like that normally.

Yeah, I'm sure she was like drunk and maybe

it's giving Luann de la Seps and Jupiter.

Yeah.

Maybe some drugs, party drugs, who knows?

Yeah.

No, honestly, like not,

I follow her on Instagram.

I actually unfollowed her today just because, like, I realized, like, it's on like my favorite content.

But I was watching her Miami content like this weekend, and I was like, it looked so wild.

I remember like remarking being like, damn, she looks like she's having a good time.

Like, she never really posted like that before.

So maybe she was on like a bender or something.

We've all been there.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's just not, not good behavior.

Like, you know,

you can party hard without assaulting a police officer, I think.

And the hotel staff, like, come on.

Right, right.

Like, come on.

Go out.

Like, go to a party.

Go to the clubs.

Like, it's Miami.

There's a million places where they welcome behavior like that.

Yeah.

You don't have to.

But I'm sure she was staying at like a really swanky hotel.

Yeah.

Can't act like that.

No, you can't.

Are you ready for our next story?

If it's a next story that's sponsored by BetterHelp.

Oh, it is.

And it's actually a really great compliment to the next story.

Well, thank you, BetterHelp, for sponsoring today's episode.

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And you're welcome.

Related, similar yet different.

Scientists are saying that grabbing a shovel and digging a hole might help you if you're stressed out.

There's a TikTok trend going around of people digging holes because science

studies are showing that it can help relieve stress.

A student in Scotland said.

Isn't that just like exercise in general?

Yeah, but there's something about hole digging in particular.

And for me, like my mind just went to the movie Holes like all this time.

All this time we thought that they were just like abusing these kids, but maybe it was stress relief.

Maybe it was a de-stressing method, a very unorthodox, you know, kind of Eastern medicine type of de-stress.

Right.

That also, you know, they're looking for the treasure that was buried.

It's, it's a twofer, two birds, one stone.

I haven't seen holes in a minute.

Is that why Sigourney Weaver was making all the kids dig holes?

Yes, because there was a legend that there was a treasure buried, and in the end, Shia found the treasure.

Right, Shia,

Shia,

Shia, Shia.

No, Stanley Yelnatz is like a legend.

And And what did Stanley get sent to Holes Camp for?

Like, what did he get in trouble for?

It was like for military school.

The first five minutes of the movie that, you know, people always miss.

Yeah, totally.

While you're like making the snacks.

But like some delinquent behavior.

Right.

But was he sent there like by the government or like his parents?

I think by the state.

Okay.

Like it's like juvenile detention

instead of like a juvenile prison.

Like it's kind of like dark for a Disney Channel original movie, you know?

Yeah, but I mean the end was so wonderful.

Splooge.

Beautiful.

Spluge.

I need to see this movie.

It's like, again, I haven't seen it in years.

Yeah, me neither.

I don't know why I remember it like word for word.

Like for me, like a core memory.

Yeah, you literally know everything about it.

You're like a Holes historian.

For me, like the iconic scene is when they eat those radishes.

Like for some reason, that's like seared in my brain.

Oh, that's so funny.

Not for me, but now I...

I'm...

Or is it an onion?

Like, what was it?

I think it's an onion.

They like pull it out of the ground.

Yeah.

Iconic.

Iconic.

Anyways, I wanted an onion when I was a kid, you know?

Research is showing that digging holes can be very therapeutic.

So people on TikTok are now digging holes.

Just

park rangers are saying, please fill them in back in when you're done.

Don't just leave all these holes.

Park Rangers.

The park rangers.

So people are digging holes on the beach, which is so nice.

And honestly, that seems like a great form of like mental and physical exercise.

Just fill them in when you're done.

I love that there's a trend on TikTok that's encouraging people to get outside

and get outside.

Get outside, de-stress.

I feel like a lot of stress and fatigue actually comes from TikTok.

So I think this is great.

I love that the kids are working on themselves.

Working on themselves.

And this is a trend I can get behind the TikTok trend because most of the TikTok trends like require you to use your phone more, like to learn the dances,

all of these things, to watch these videos, to literally memorize these scripts so you can like film yourself saying something for what?

For

what?

For likes, exactly.

So, this is real stuff.

And you know what?

It goes back thousands and thousands of years, like

digging holes.

For thousands of years, these men gave their lives to the night's watch.

For thousands of years, humans have been digging holes.

So true.

Are you going to go out into your yard and dig a hole later then to de-stress?

Like once Harry goes down for a nap?

No.

Not going to break up my yard.

No, I don't.

I never thought about me doing it.

You'd have to do it at the beach.

Yeah, but I don't know.

The shovel's like heavy.

I don't think I'm built for hole digging.

I definitely agree.

You're no Stanley Elnuts.

No.

Are you going to go dig some holes?

Where?

In the concrete?

In Central Park.

Imagine I show up to Central Park with a shovel and I start digging a hole.

I would get arrested.

There's definitely something illegal about that.

Yeah, for sure, because it's like...

It's destruction of property.

Yeah.

And they take Central Park seriously.

They do.

You could probably go to one of the other parks and do it.

Yeah, like one of the ones that nobody cares about.

Yeah.

That they've just let go.

100%.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Final story?

Yeah, because we got to get into dear toasters, which I'm excited about.

We do.

Students in El Paso are very upset after their SAT exams flew out of a UPS truck.

Did you see this?

What?

El Paso high school students' SAT exams were lost after test papers papers flew out of a UPS truck.

The school district official said they're working closely with the college board to determine a remedy for the 55 students whose answer documents were lost.

The incident affects students who took the exam on October 27th.

And since then, they have decided that the kids need to retake the SATs because they wound up in the middle of the road.

That ain't fucking right, bitch.

Yeah.

I wonder, though, if it's the exact same test.

And now they know the question.

Probably not.

Oh, my God.

The kids who took the ACTs are probably like so fucking happy.

Well, it's not everyone whose tests were lost, just the ones who flew off the UPS.

Like some of them stayed on the UPS truck.

Some of them flew.

Honestly, I feel like this is one of those like rare situations where the kids should get like, you know, a perfect score.

Like just, you know?

No,

but.

But to make them retake it, like those tests

are so difficult and they really stress out the kids.

Like, I don't know.

I think it's, this is a terrible story, actually.

Yeah.

And some of them are now going to take the ACTs instead with no extra, because like the deadline for that is November 4th or December 10th.

So they could still.

I mean, now they know what they're going to write their essays about, the trials and tribulations of the UPS truck.

And then maybe they could write their essay about, you know, this dystopian universe where like if the test had made it onto the truck, like they would have gone to this college and lived in this.

Oh, it's like that Lily Reinhardt movie and the Gwyneth Poucher one, Sliding Doors.

Yeah, but that would be a really good essay topic.

But now that they have to take the SAT again, maybe it's a better score or a worse score and how that changes their life because this UPS driver didn't follow protocol.

I never really thought about like how the tests get to like the college board, whatever it's called.

Yeah.

Like the standardized board.

They just like go through the mail with everything else.

No, like I would have assumed it's like a brink truck, you know, like lock and key.

Yeah.

That's how seriously like they take themselves over at the standardized testing committee.

Right, but you couldn't have that for every school in every state.

No, I guess not.

I really never thought about it.

Like, I just handed in the blue book and bounced,

said a prayer,

and just wished for the best.

That sucks.

Thinking of those campers.

Ugh, there's so much that sucks about being a kid these days, honestly.

Yeah.

Between like missing out on like so many iconic moments, like because of COVID, and then like being, you know, everyone's like.

constantly in a state of like depression and anxiety because of like social media.

I'm really glad I grew up like at the tail end of the digital age.

Mm-hmm.

No, not the tail end, the beginning of the digital age.

You love the digital age.

I'm a digital girl, you know?

Yeah.

Influencer, mogul, media empiress, empress.

You're iClerdy.

Totally.

iClerdia.

Okay, should we dive into Dear Toasters, our advice segment every Wednesday where we try and help our listeners out to, you know, get out of the pickles they found themselves in?

Yes, please.

So, dear toasters, if you ever want to submit, it's dear toasters at gmail.com.

We'll always keep your shit anonymous and you can write in about anything.

Just try and keep it brief, the need to know information, you know, basics.

Ready?

Mm-hmm.

Jackson Claude, how are you, Jern?

Longtime listener since the early days of the breath, first time writer, and I will keep it brief.

My precious gem of a man fiancé and I have been together since high school, and we're getting married in a couple of months.

He's the best, very loyal, funny, charming, driven, et cetera.

The one thing is, and tell me if I'm overthinking this, is that him and his mom have a kind of weird relationship.

They always have.

He's the epitome of a mama's boy, but maybe to a fault, they are legitimately always texting.

I mean, 24-7, and he even sends her good morning, beautiful texts.

He calls her beaut, sorry, he calls her boo, calls her beauty.

He sends hearts all the time back and forth with her.

I have a great relationship with his mom, so it's not like she's weird with me or anything like that.

But am I right to be a bit weirded out with the flirtatiousness of his own mother?

Sincerely, a slightly clamped toaster.

No, I'm sorry.

Good morning, beautiful.

Like that is reserved for your partner.

Like that's fucking weird.

It's weird.

Sure.

But now being a boy mom, like the thought of Harry growing up, like being engaged to a wonderful girl, but like still remembering to call his mother beautiful and like to check in on me, just like show me how much he loves me.

Like mom goals, mom goals.

No, I'm sorry.

Like there is a line.

And I believe like this crosses the line.

It's fucking weird.

I also think it's important to note, like, what, um,

like what religion or ethnicity your husband is.

Cause, like, this is a very like Jewish boys and their moms are like very, very tight.

I could see them like being Jewish.

Not that it matters, but like, it is a cultural thing too, just to give more context.

But I still find it fucking weird.

Like, Ben is extremely close with his mom, like, talks to her multiple times a day on the phone.

And I don't think he would ever send a good morning beautiful text.

Like, that's weird.

Yeah, I don't think there's anything you can really do about it without like looking jealous of his mom.

And then you just like look crazy, especially because like they're not flirting.

I think that if you guys stay together and get married and have kids, like this will work itself out because he won't have the time to be constantly checking, like sending texts like when there's a baby crying, you know?

So

if you love him and everything else is good, just

you know, ignore it.

And I think it would...

If this is the biggest problem in your relationship, then you have a very strong relationship.

But like if if something bothers you, it bothers you.

And like it is weird.

Yeah.

Like I think there's a way obviously to tell your mom.

Like now I'm thinking like Ben tells his mom that she looks beautiful like when we go out to dinner.

Like he's always like, mom, you look so beautiful.

So he doesn't say mommy.

He says, mom, you look so beautiful.

But I do think like the nature of like the good morning beautiful, like I'm stuck on the good morning, beautiful, because that's like what you say to like a guy you're talking to.

Like, you know, when you're in the talking stage or like you're just starting to date, like you'll get like a good morning, beautiful text.

Like it's weird.

As a boy mom now, I think it's nice.

If you asked me a year ago, I'd be totally with Claudia, but like,

I'm so happy for this mom that she has such a great son who loves her so much.

And he's engaged and doing, you know, in a proper, well-adjusted relationship.

I think that as his plate gets fuller, you know, priorities change.

So just ride it out, would be my advice.

Not you being like a blindly loyal mom defender.

Oh, yeah.

That's your like new energy you're bringing to dear life now.

Plot twist.

Yeah, I see it from a different point of view.

I'm not just this.

I'm not just the fiancé anymore.

Like I'm the mom.

Right.

Oh my God, that's crazy.

You're the mom.

All right.

Next up.

Dear Jack's Claude and the Streisbros, we are writing in as a group and we love you, but let's cut to the chase.

We have a problem with a friend who is a phone snoop.

For the sake of this story, her name is Rachel.

She's a part of our friend group from high school and we've all been close for over 10 years.

We've always noticed that Rachel can be a little nosy when it comes to our phones.

She will peek over shoulders to see who we're texting, even open and read our text messages if she has our phone while we're driving.

More recently, though, it's gotten extreme.

We found out through one of our close guy friends that Rachel had taken one of our phones without our permission and read a whole group chat's worth of conversation that was pertaining to her.

The conversation shined a light on a time when Rachel was in the wrong.

We use this group chat to vent and complain about Rachel.

Rachel expressed to our guy friend that she was upset after reading the messages, but she has never brought it up because she's extremely non-confrontational.

Should we tell Rachel that we know she has read those messages?

And if so, how do we approach the fact that she continuously invades our privacy?

Exo from Three Toasters in need of some beautiful, stunning, and smart advice.

Ooh, that's tough.

Call it out.

Like first, you could say, hi, I know.

She fucked around and found out.

So you can't even feel bad about her reading those messages.

That's like, why is she engaging in this like emotional self-harm if she wants to read all these like unkind things about herself and then not even want to confront you about it?

So it's just like bottling up inside her.

Honestly, you need to do her a favor and bring it up because she's going to explode.

And I would say, one, like, I know you read the group chat about you.

Do you want to know where we're coming from or you just wanted to like read it, be shady and then what's do behind our back?

And I'm sorry that you had to like read that but you also crossed a major line yeah no and i would say once you figure like explain to her and have it out over that group chat situation you should say like and also you need to stop reading everyone's phones you need to stop snooping you need to stop if i hand you my phone for something like i i'm not date friends with a private investigator and like if you want to be my friend like i'm allowed a modicum of privacy and i this shit needs to stop right and like you have to like respect boundaries like they're not even that crazy no mask i would like if i felt like a friend who i love and wanted to stay friends with was doing something like this i would just be like the are you doing like stop yes

this isn't my jam and it's weird behavior this isn't my plate

i am sometimes a proponent of snooping never when it comes to friends like that trustes a line snooping not because she like wants to find out one specific thing like she's addicted to like just knowing things about people like it's not like she's always going in people's phone and like searching her own name, which would be another self, another form of like emotional self-do that.

Oh my god, don't ever I did that once with a friend who like I have like a very um they don't even know like we have like a very tumultuous relationship like we have like time periods where we don't talk.

It's not like a peaceful friendship.

Like my friends from high school, like we've never gotten fights.

Like that's if I searched my name in their phone, I wouldn't find anything.

Like, but this is like it was like a tumultuous, and I found such crazy shit.

Um, and I'll never do it again.

It was like a lesson you have to learn the hard way because like I'm a curious person, you know?

Yeah.

And what people say about you or think about you like is really not your business.

Like how they treat you is so and people are really entitled to like, you know, have their thoughts about you, like whether you like them or not.

Yeah.

So, and not everyone like 100% of the time thinks only positive thoughts about you, even if they're your friend.

Like you could have done something that upset them.

They talked about it with someone else.

So I would just say like, I don't want a friendship like this.

You're not like

my boss.

You don't get to like, no,

cover.

So either change your ways or that's that on that.

Yeah, no, and I feel like she's going to come at the conversation from like a victim mentality.

Like, I can't believe you guys said this about me.

And it's like, I feel like you really need to drill in the fact that like what she did, how she found out this information, it's like in court when you're illegally, it's inadmissible.

When you like illegally get evidence, it's inadmissible.

Like the way she found this out is illegal.

So honestly, her feelings on the, on the matter don't matter to me.

Yeah, we had this group chat about you because we wouldn't include you because we're not psychopaths and we want to spare your feelings.

If you want to know everything everyone thinks and says about you, like we'll add you next time and we'll say the same stuff.

Would that be better?

Yeah.

Is bitch better?

Is bitch better?

And then you can spiral into the conversation about like her general lack of awareness when it comes to like boundaries and reading through people's phones.

Yeah, I don't have time for this.

Like

that's like a psychotic thing to do.

People need to act right.

People need to act right.

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Is that right?

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No, I lost so much hair around month four postpartum, and I had to go through that.

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All right, our third and final dear toasters.

Again, thank you to everyone who wrote in.

Hello, Jackson Claude.

Hello.

Let me cut to the chase.

Let me cut to the chase with this one.

My 16-year-old cousin messaged me last night a photo of a positive pregnancy test, and she asked for help.

She's extremely immature and sheltered, and she's been going through a lot mentally this year.

I know her family doesn't know what to make of the depression and anxiety that she has.

Her family is very conservative, and I know this won't go over well with them, obviously, because she's 16.

She came to me because I know she trusts me.

I'm her 28-year-old old fun cousin, but I don't know if I should tell her mom or what I should do.

I don't want her to lose my trust since she doesn't have a lot of people to rely on.

What do I do?

Thanks.

That's tough.

I mean, you want to be like fun, cool cousin, but like, this is like such a big deal and potentially like a medical thing that like you have to tell her parents.

Like, and I know that's like the worst thing you could do to a 16-year-old.

She'll, she'll hate you.

I know.

I would first approach it.

Like, I would go to her and be like, we need to tell your mom.

Like, because what you need right now is support, like, to go through something like this alone.

And even though you have your 28-year-old cousin, like, it's not enough.

Like, you need your family, you need your parents, and you need your mom.

So I would try and convince her, like, we'll go tell your mom together.

It's going to be okay.

Like, I'll be here the whole time, like, in case you need, you know, someone to have your back or anything.

If she was completely against it, like, refuses, I would go ahead and tell her mom because, of course, she's going to be so upset.

But

one day she will know why you did what you did.

And what she needs is support, resources, knowledge, family, people who rather know that they'll be there for her and that, like, you know, hopefully whatever decision that she would want to make, like that she is supported and that she would have what she needs to make that decision.

So this is not something a 16-year-old can go through on her own with their 28-year-old cousin.

I would try and convince her to do it with you, but if she wouldn't, I would go.

to her mom yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, that's a really good call.

Hopefully, like the

first way

she is down to do.

And I think you also just have to be prepared for the fact that she probably won't be ready, and you'll probably have to tell her parents behind her back.

And, like, you just have to be prepared for her, like, hating you for a couple of years.

Yeah, but she's not going to hate you for her whole life.

And

you will have done what's best for her because

she shouldn't have to go through that alone.

And if she has people around her, then they should

use them and they should be able to help her, whatever it is.

Yeah, I think that's

the right call.

And it's like fun to be like the cool cousin, cool aunt, but like, this is like, I think a little too serious of a situation.

Because I do think there are people in your life, like if Harry, you know, has a problem and he wants to tell me, like, and it's not that serious, like, I'm not going to tell you.

Like, I am going to be like the cool aunt.

Yes.

But sometimes there are situations that go beyond that.

And this is obviously one of them.

Right.

And I don't know what she's like told you and if she knows what she wants to do, but if she's, um,

if she doesn't know like what she's doing, doing like she

she needs more so young she needs more support more help and like people who and people who she loves and respects and like their opinion I think I think all of that matters yeah no she's just far too young to even attempt to do this alone and honestly you're only 28 like I'm 28 what the fuck do we know you know right right like you 28 is like not an adult yeah so if you're me

I think that assuming like that her parents are loving and care about her more than anything, which I would hope that they do,

you should tell them.

Yeah, I think so too.

Hopefully together.

Thank you to everyone who wrote in.

Hopefully we were as helpful as possible.

Again, if you ever want to write in or if your submission hasn't been read yet, feel free to resend it.

Maybe we didn't read it because it was like a little too long.

Dear Toasters at gmail.com is the email account.

We will always stay anonymous, of course.

That is our show.

That is also our final episode for the week.

We are back in the studio on Tuesday after my tour.

I can't wait to see everyone in Durham, in Charlotte, and in Birmingham this weekend.

Jax, I hope you enjoy your time off.

Spend some time with Roldini, give him big, slobbery wet kisses from his auntie.

I will.

Also, the crown drops tomorrow.

Does it?

Yeah, every time I read an article about like the crown, like the date of when it drops is changing because I think it changes and it drops in different countries at different times.

Anyways, it drops around this weekend.

So hopefully by Tuesday, we'll have a recap for you guys.

Oh my God.

Yeah, well, I'm traveling a lot, so I should have a lot of time.

Wait, that's so exciting.

Yeah.

And there's tons of good shit on the Patreon if you're missing us tomorrow or Friday or Monday.

This is the last big leg of the tour.

The last shows are Delaware and my

special taping in New York.

So the tour was really supposed to be over this weekend.

So there won't be like a bunch of missed travel dates for some time.

So I appreciate everyone's patience with me thus far on the tour, missing episodes.

Jackie, of course, for always holding down the fort.

I appreciate you.

And I can't wait to rock it out at these last couple of shows.

I'm getting emo.

It's the end of N-log.

It's End log.

End log.

Thank you so much for listening.

I'll miss her too.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast.

Anywhere podcasts can be found.

So it's Spotify, Tune Stitch, or Public Rider.

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So we listen to podcasts, find us the toast, and leave a five-star review about how beautiful, standing, and smart we are.

Oh, no, about how wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing day.

Happy hum day, and we'll see you back here on Tuesday.

Love you dearly.

Bye.

Love you.

Bye.