Putting People In Their Place: Tuesday, October 4th, 2022

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Tuesday.

Hope everyone's having a fabulous day.

I know I am.

Hey, Jax.

How you darn?

I'm darn good.

Welcome back to the toast.

Okay.

So I wanted to kick off today's show with, I got like, we got so many common questions people had.

I did a little Q ⁇ A box on my Instagram.

I just want to make sure everyone is taken care of because we, you know, launched a lot of big news yesterday.

And you know me, I'm change-a-verse girly.

And I guess we have a lot of change-averse girly listeners as well.

So I really wanted to answer some common questions people had for us about what this means for the toast.

And I can't stress enough, like it means nothing for the toast, but like let's.

You know what I mean?

It's really change in name only.

Nothing will change about the way that Claudia and I do the show, the time that we do the show, the content in this show.

Everything will be the same.

If you missed yesterday's episode, aside from the artwork change, like you wouldn't notice anything has changed.

Right.

So here are like the couple most common questions people had.

A lot of people wondered if our Patreon is changing at all.

Nope.

$7.99 a month, five extra episodes from your girls, access to the Facebook group.

Patreon remains unchanged.

Patreon.com slash, oh, we have to change our link.

We're waiting to get the new URL for now.

It's patreon.com a morning toast.

Like I said, Subway and their cups, there are so many things to change.

There's so many things to change.

The second thing people had questions on, and this was a fair question, seeing as how our podcast took so long to come up on Apple and Spotify yesterday, is if we're still doing video and audio.

Yes, we are.

The reason why our podcast took forever, we put it up at noon, like we always do, but it didn't get up to like four or five on Spotify and Apple, was because we had our feeds changed because we have a new feed with Dear Media.

The feeds have changed, and moving forward, it'll be up a lot sooner.

We apologize about that, but that was confusing for people because we had this big announcement and then no podcast.

Right.

It's delayed as things move over.

Hopefully that ends with us.

Yeah, it does.

The third thing, a lot of people, I thought this was interesting because people are always looking out for us.

You know, part of the reason why we

started our own show is just for that reason so that we could own our show and nobody could cancel our show, like the Morning Breath.

And so a lot of people thought like with the name change and the Dear Media partnership, it's because like we don't own the morning toast.

So we still own the copyright is all ours, the morning toast.

We genuinely changed the name because we felt like it was time.

It had nothing to do with dear media.

We still own our show completely.

We own the trademark.

Yeah.

We own our partner.

We own the show.

Yeah.

Period.

The name change is actually just coincidental that we all announced it all on the same day.

The two things were happening sort of at the same time.

So we were like, let's do it all the same day.

Big news, not announce one thing and then announce another thing.

And everyone's saying like the morning toast went to Dear Media.

Let's just like use the correct verbiage.

Yeah.

And then the final thing people had questions on, which was also a great question, is if we relinquish any creative control when we entered into our partnership with Dear Media.

The answer is no.

We say whatever we want.

We are uncensored, unhinged girlies.

And the toast and the morning toast have that in common.

Nothing is going to change creatively.

We're doing our show Monday through Friday.

We're doing, except tomorrow.

We have to, we haven't even spoken about it.

Tomorrow and Friday.

We have

tomorrow.

We haven't spoken about what is in store for us tomorrow, which is Yom Kippur.

And so while you guys might be upset that there's no episode of the toast, like we're more upset because we're going to be fasting and repenting.

You know, it's not just like the hunger.

It's also having to delve into what that hunger represents.

What that hunger represents and who you are and who you want to be and everything that you did wrong in the last year and what you want to do better for the next year.

It's a lot of emotional work.

I know.

And I I feel like us not talking about it is really representative of like me.

I've been like pushing it out of my brain.

Like I've been really ignoring it, but it is tomorrow.

It is the

one day a year I probably dread the most.

And I'm glad that it's here because that means it's almost over.

Yeah.

But yeah, I'm, yeah.

I'm, I'm not looking forward to it.

It's me neither, but.

We must go through it.

We do it every year.

So, I mean, I think this year is actually going to be my hardest year yet because

one loophole to Yom Kippur is like sleeping in.

The later you sleep, the less you have to fast.

I'm up at seven.

Like, it's going to be the longest fast of my life.

So we shall see how that goes.

Then we will be back on Thursday for regular toast.

But then Friday, there's no show because Claudia is traveling for the N-Log tour and I am heading to Atlanta for a Spritz meet and greet.

So no show.

No show.

Can't wait to see you guys in Pittsburgh.

Sold out.

And I did my Spritz meet and greet last night.

And it was just fabulous because one, it was fabulous.

And two, because like everyone there was like on a high.

They were like, they had so many questions about the rebrand and they were like, congrats.

It was really like a celebratory meet and greet.

That's so exciting.

It was really fun.

Any highlights, any gifts that you got?

Anything for?

Somebody brought me a 10-piece nugget, which was literally so nice because it ended up, we were going to like go early and eat, but it took us two hours with traffic.

So I ended up showing up like eight minutes late.

And I was so hungry.

And towards the end, this queen, like queen, showed up with a big bag from McDonald's and a soda.

And I was shoving my face.

I was so hungry.

That was the highlight of the mean green.

That is the highlight, period.

Period.

It was so good.

I fucking love McDonald's.

I'm so glad.

Well, while you were doing that, I was recording the new episode of The Redheads with the Girlies, recapping lessons in chemistry, our book of the month.

And it was just another wonderful episode of like the most wonderful podcast after the toast.

Like Like the Redheads.

It was another great day of being a redhead.

It was another great day of being a redhead.

The redheads is just such a wonderful community.

We're growing, you know, exponentially every day.

So I think a lot of you now are a part of the community and we're so happy to have you.

And it's just a monthly reminder of

literature and the joys of literature.

There were a couple girlies last night who brought me their Kindles to sign.

That's the new thing.

It's literally the highest honor.

It's the highest honor, especially when they have you sign the Kindle, not the case.

And

they actually requested that Ben not sign it since he doesn't support literate women.

And I was really proud of them for taking a stand.

I think that's so important to let Ben know where they stand.

But I think Ben had like the best time at the meet and greet because like when it's me and Ben, a lot of times, like I think people forget that Ben is there.

But this is the first meeting greet we've done since Ben launched his podcast, Good Guys with Josh Peck.

And so many people came up, especially like a lot of people's husbands and boyfriends.

They were like, I love good guys.

It's so good, Josh.

And you are the best.

And I think Ben was like really excited to see the feedback from his podcast.

Like, I could tell he had like a little glimmer in his eye.

That's really cute.

It was really cute.

It was a great meeting greet.

Long Island is stunning.

It is.

Don't we know it?

Where in Long Island was it?

Westbury.

So, like, really nice.

Me and Ben at one point looked at each other and we were like, what if we just moved to Long Island?

See, I'm not sure.

And I'm actually so down going back to my roots.

But it's literally the most expensive place to live in the country and it has the highest real estate tax.

And I'm just not down.

Yeah.

So it was like a flash in the pan idea.

Yeah.

Been there already, ruled that out.

Right.

So yeah, it's just a fabulous day.

It's raining here in New York, missing you dearly.

How's Worldini thinking about me, obviously?

Always thinking about you.

The weather here has turned gorgeous.

It's so nice and just like literally perfect weather.

Like a little chilly?

No, not even a little chilly.

It's like Zach keeps saying it's L.A.

weather, you know, where it's just like perfect.

Not hot, not cold.

Oh, yesterday was where literally anything.

Yesterday was also a fabulous day because Jackie and I believe we have decided what we're going to be for Toastaway this year.

And I'm really excited about it.

Yep, we got to start ordering and we've got to start rehearsing separately, of course.

Yeah, I got to start practicing like, you know, the dialogue.

I don't want to give anything away.

And we just start theorizing the character.

The character and how I'm going to interpret the character because I'm not an actress whatsoever, but there's one day.

There's one day a year where I give the theater my all, and that is on the Toastawen episode.

And I leave it all there.

I have nothing else for the rest of the year because I've given all of my acting chops to that episode.

And I intend to do it again.

What's exciting is that we're going to be together for Toasta Wen.

I'm flying down to Florida, so we'll be flamingo girlies for Toast Dawen because the the next week is your 30th birthday.

It was his 30th birthday.

So we'll have Tostawen and Jackie O B-Day all in one week.

The Patreon's going to be popping off.

Yeah, I'm excited for you to come down here.

The flamingos are so gorgeous and they're so underrepresented on this show right now.

I matched them today.

Maybe I'll take a picture in front of them to let them know that I see you and I appreciate you and I'll be back for you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we've otherwise got a great show.

Lots of unique news.

Lots of people who need to be made fun of.

Yep.

Yep, yep, yep.

Lots of unique.

Those are my favorite types of shows.

Like when people just need to be put in their place.

And I'm going to be the one to do it, Lena Dunham, Billie Eichner.

Yeah.

They're wild in.

And that's something I never thought I would say.

Cause one thing about me is I love Billy Eichner.

I mean, he gave me my start in television.

And for those who don't know, I was on an episode of Billy on the Street when I was in college and I looked fuggy and Billy made fun of my outfit.

But I like, I have a deep,

like deep-rooted respect and admiration, honestly, for Billy Eichner.

Like anything he's in, I just love.

And I'm going to have to drag him today.

So that'll be exciting.

Yeah, you got to do what needs to be done.

So I think without further ado to do the do.

Tell me how this sounds.

Here are the fast.

Don't press the button yet.

Like we're just spitballing, okay?

Okay.

Without further ado, did it do the do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of the toast.

Like, I just think we don't really need to change it.

Just our rhythm needs to change.

Okay, but just the wake up still connotes morning.

Okay, but like in our defense, we did just wake up.

Like it's early as fuck.

And a lot of people were like, are you guys still going to say good morning, Millennials?

Like, yeah, bitch, I woke up and I'm doing the toast.

We're still doing it at the same time.

And this is the first time of the day that I'm talking to Claudia.

So I would say good morning to my sister.

Yeah, I'm still saying good morning.

You know what?

You don't have to follow every rule.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So we got a lot of helpful sound off in the comments yesterday on YouTube.

We did, but I didn't see anything that was the one.

Okay, here's what people suggested.

Without further ado to do, here's a toast to the fast five stories that you need to know.

That I like.

Okay, here's another one.

But that one doesn't leave room for crunch.

Without further ado to do to do, it's time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you pour a glass and raise a toast.

I'm not crazy about that one, but everyone was loving it in the comments.

So that's important to note.

I feel like the one that I did at the beginning was like good.

Like, I think we might be overthinking.

Like, the real- I like, here are the fast-five stories that you need to know.

But what about the crunch sound?

I know.

Well, the crunch, we could just do it, and it will be like for the OG listeners.

The OG listeners.

And then like in a year from now, when people discover us on TikTok, they'll be like, does it sound like why they use that bite sound?

And it'll hark back to our roots.

So you want to do what?

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

Okay, and I want to do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake wake up and take a bite out of your toast.

Sound off in the comments which one is better.

Let's hit the crunch for old time's sake.

Hit the crunch.

Actually, what if we just said without further ado, to do to do, hit the crunch?

That's okay.

I think the first two that we just brainstormed are better.

Okay, cool.

So let's get into it.

Yeah, today's episode of the toast.

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Great.

Thank you.

Yada welcome.

Our first story.

For all the waves and all the storms in the sea.

I really never want to learn the words after that.

No, I think we should make up our own.

Cause you say yada welcome when you do the ad.

So, what can I say except yada welcome?

For all the links and all the codes that'll save.

Yeah, that's good.

Add it to Toast Tune.

And I had like a sexy, like, you know, like jazz bar tone to my voice.

You did.

I can confirm.

I can confirm.

Okay, first story.

Billy Eichner blames straight people for the dismal opening of his gay rom-com Bros.

This is like so unoriginal, you know, blaming the straights.

Okay, just listen to, for everyone listening, just listen to all the tweets that were issued and then the retorts because they're fucking funny.

Billy Eichner has complained that straight people, quote, just didn't show up to his new gay romantic comedy after it bombed at the box office on opening weekend.

Bros, which is produced by Judd Appetow and reportedly cost $22 million to make, garnered buzz for being the first gay romantic comedy from a major studio, but it brought in a paltry $4.8 million since its release Friday.

Eichner, who's the movie's lead star and co-writer, took to Twitter to express his disappointment over the dire numbers with a controversial take that quickly garnered backlash.

Quote, this is from his Twitter.

Last night I snuck in and sat in the back of a sold-out theater playing Bros in L.A.

The audience.

How convenient that it was sold out.

No, but it's like, but it tanked.

So you went to the one sold-out theater.

Something's not adding up here.

The audience howled with laughter to start to finish, burst into applause at the very end, and some were wiping away tears as they walked out.

It was truly magical.

Really, I am very proud of this movie.

Rolling Stone already has bros on the list of the best comedies of the 21st century.

What's also true is that at one point, a theater chain called Universal, the studio behind the movie, and said they were pulling the trailer because of the gay content.

Universal convinced them not to.

America, fuck yeah, et cetera, et cetera.

Then he said, quote, that's just the world we live in, unfortunately.

Even with glowing reviews, great rotten tomato scores, and a cinema score, etc., straight people, especially in certain parts of the country, just didn't show up for bros, and that's disappointing, but it is what it is.

He subsequently implored that everyone who isn't a homophobic weirdo go to a cinema to see bros as soon as possible.

However, the comedian was quickly blasted by gay and straight Twitter users alike, many of whom accused him of shaming people for not seeing his movie.

Quote, see my movie or you're a homophobe is a hell of a marketing bitch.

No, it's a lot.

It's a lot.

And also at $4.10, $4.8 million in sales, like also gay people didn't show up for your movie.

Okay, so for me, like, it's very layered.

Personally, I think I'm like the furthest thing from a homophobe and I didn't see the movie.

And that's mostly because like times have changed.

Like I don't really go, like I really want to see Don't Worry Darling 2 and I still haven't seen it.

It took me six months to see Top Gun.

Like people are just changing because of COVID.

So that's just super important to acknowledge.

I think it's also important to acknowledge, and this is coming from someone who really, like, and I mean this honestly, like I love Billy Eichner.

I've never disliked anything he's been in.

Like I follow him, I followed him for a really long time.

I don't know if he's necessarily a leading man.

That's what I'll say.

And the third thing is,

And this is something I just, I was reading a lot of people's responses, watching a lot of TikToks from the gay community.

I don't think that Billy Eichner is like extremely well liked

by the gay community.

I don't think they consider him like a likable likable leading man.

And I think that might have a lot to do with it.

And I also think it's really important.

This is why I feel mostly like his retort is unfair because so much of the marketing I saw for the movie was like in niche gay areas.

So like they were really targeting, obviously, it's a movie about two gay guys.

They were targeting with their marketing, the gay community.

So to like put so much money and time investing in like marketing towards the gay community and then blaming the straight community for not showing up, well, we weren't marketing towards.

Right.

Also, I did see a few commercials for the movie and like,

it didn't look good.

Sorry.

Like I didn't see a funny joke.

I don't even know what the movie's about.

Like it was, they weren't good trailers.

Sometimes you see a movie trailer and the movie looks amazing and actually the movie is quite bad.

Like there's an art to trailer making.

We all saw the holiday.

Like that was her full-time job.

And I actually thought that these trailers like.

It seemed actually low budget that they couldn't get a better trailer.

Knowing now that this is Judd Apatau and it's $22 million is really shocking.

I also want to say one gay critic hit back at Eichner saying, bro's bombing at the box office is a failure of ego.

Billy Eichner is a B-list star, not a leading man, and nobody is going to theaters to watch a random rom-com in 2022.

That's fucking true.

No, oh my God, that's straight facts.

Straight facts.

For Billy to assume it would be a blockbuster just because he's gay and funny is pure Hollywood narcissism.

Many other people added that films about gay men, including The Birdcage and Broke Back Mountain, performed strongly at the box office and insisted that Bros simply didn't look like an enjoyable movie.

Yeah, no, that has to be said.

You know, that has to be said.

Because I think there's, and don't get me wrong, like there's not enough, there should be tons of rom-coms.

And I feel like streaming is the perfect place to have a rom, because to have rom-coms because rom-coms aren't what they used to be.

Like people are not getting up and going to the theater.

I mean, it took me six months to go to Top Gun, and Top Gun was this like...

major, you know, motion picture event.

You know what it was.

You know what it was.

It was a movie that felt like a real movie.

And I feel like this is a movie that feels like I should be watching on a streaming service.

Yes.

Because there is a movie that I've been doing.

Diamond does really well on Rockflight.

Netflix, so many.

Like,

to go to the theater, like, you really need to see a movie that's a real movie.

It's like a big production.

It's theatrical.

It's got music.

It's got action.

It's not going to be seen on a big screen because there's so much happening.

Right.

And that's why I think Top Gun was really like a movie that felt like a movie because it had all of that.

Tonight,

tonight.

No, I won't let go of my hand.

Like there was all this involvement from like marketing and music and action and stars.

Like, and you know what?

I know it's like really mean, but it's, it's fine because it came from a gay movie critic.

Like that was, that was facts.

Like a B-list.

He's not a leading man.

No lie.

And just to blame it on the streets.

No lie was straight.

Yeah, no.

No lie.

To blame it on the straights is like kind of low-hanging fruit for just the movie not being compelling.

That one tweet, see my movie or you're a homophobe, is a hell of a marketing pitch.

Yeah, it was just like, it was a lot, Billy.

Like, it's, it's, and you know what?

And like, movies bomb all the time.

And there's maybe not like a reason, like one direct reason.

I mean, obviously, like him saying that, you know, a chain of theaters wanted to remove it because it was gay, like, that's problematic.

But I don't really feel like that's pertinent to the conversation.

Yeah.

I also feel like I'm looking at Judd Appetow's filmography now because I want to see what the last movie he made was.

I feel like.

It was, I feel pretty.

Oh, so good.

So good.

So good.

And did I see that in theaters?

I did.

I think I did because I was so excited.

It looks so challenging.

Also, yeah, his last couple of movies were like King of Staten Island, but that was on a streamer, right?

And it was kind of a flop.

I just feel like that era of people going to the movies for Judd Appetow movies is past.

Not that Judd Appetow is not talented and I don't want to watch his movies, but I don't know that I'm going to go to the movies for them.

Going to the movies now is a much bigger production than

it used to be.

Yeah.

No, you're completely right.

And like the really cute, funny Jed Appetale movies are meant to be watched at home.

And the big theatrical, don't worry, darling, with all that press, the Top Guns, it is meant for the theater.

Not every movie is meant for the theaters now.

We've changed as human beings.

Like our behaviors from COVID have changed.

We got used to everything just like showing up on our doorsteps.

We're very entitled.

And I used to be like a big movie goer.

And I've been since COVID ended like

once to see Top Gun.

Not every movie is meant for the theaters.

And this is a perfect movie because I think Fire Island, the gay rom-com on Hulu, did very well.

Oh, Hulu's been killing it.

They had like their first like gay Hallmark vibe holiday movie.

Killed it.

So rom-com-y, like not serious, kind of, you know, silly movies are not meant for the theater anymore.

And I think that it would behoove studios to understand that because they could have went with the direct release by it on iTunes and had like a fabulous opening weekend.

Yeah.

All the straits and all the gays would have cuddled up on Friday night with a bowl of popcorn in their living rooms to watch

why it gotta be gay.

What's that

sound?

Well, he says, why it gotta be black.

Like whenever someone's wearing a black dress, he's like, well, why has it gotta be black?

Like, it's really funny.

And now I'm just like, you know, appropriating that language.

I'm sorry.

Our next story is someone else who's being dragged to filth.

Dragged down Fifth Avenue.

She wishes.

Lena Dunham, slammed.

Good one.

Lena Dunham has been slammed for saying she wants her casket driven in the Pride Parade.

So she tweeted, When I go, I want my casket to be driven through the New York City Pride Parade with a plaque that reads, She wasn't for everyone, but she was for us.

Who can arrange?

She asked.

Get in line, Lena.

Okay, we all want that.

Several angered Twitter users flooded the post with messages of confusion and criticism over her wish.

One member said, girl, no, we do not claim you like that.

A third shaded the actress for centering herself over marginalized folks, even in death.

She said, I wouldn't expect anything better from you.

That's so true.

Cause the way that I was thinking it, it's like, I'm sure the gay community is like, please, like, leave us out of this.

Like, we've been through enough.

We don't need Lena Dunham now, too.

But then also, she's right, like, centering her death around like an oppress group.

Like, pride is about celebrating like all the oppression that the gay community.

Like, yeah, way way to make it about you, Lena.

Yeah.

And maybe if someone else tweeted this verbatim, like it would have been totally celebrated.

Okay, who was this?

Who could say this?

Like, Mariah Carey.

Yeah.

Like, someone who is

actually beloved by the gay community.

Beloved.

Right.

Right.

It's not a good, it's not a good week for the gays.

Everyone is coming for them.

Right.

And I also feel like.

For Lena Dunham, she always, she constantly thinks she's like doing something and saying something.

And every which way she turns is like no no you know what happened

I mean there's we could I could write a dissertation on like the rise and fall of Lena Dunham for me the fall had everything to do with that um article she wrote about her Jewish boyfriend being like a dog um yeah but I don't think that was the downfall for everyone I think everyone came to it in their own way but I think a lot of it had to do with the success of girls and like Lena Dunham being touted as the voice of her generation and I think she like really believed that when people told her that and she got to a place where she thought she could do or say anything and people would think it was like fucking prolific.

However, it was not.

Like I think she sent this tweet and she was like, type, type, type.

Oh, this is going to kill.

Send.

And she just, she hasn't learned yet that like the time where Lena Dunham could like fart and people would think it was beautiful, that time is so over.

It was short-lived and it's over.

And she has to stop.

I feel like she's gotten that message because it's been like so rough.

Reiterated.

Yeah, it's been like she's, but every time she tries to resurface, like she

steps again.

And also I know what the downfall was for everyone.

Odell Beckham Jr.

Oh, no.

It was her book when she like

admitted to like molestation.

Molesting her sister.

Yeah.

It was really graphic and really disturbing.

And she also made light of it completely.

What's the Odell Beckham Jr.

thing?

So she had claimed in her newsletter with Lenny Letter that Odell Beckham Jr.

ignored her because she wasn't hot enough in her tuxedo.

She said, I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr.

and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards.

He was like, that's a marshmallow.

That's a child.

That's a dog.

It wasn't mean.

He just seemed very confused.

The vibe was very much like, do I want to fuck it?

Is it wearing a, yep, it's wearing a tuxedo.

I'm going back to my cell phone.

Then she had to issue an apology to him.

Yeah.

Because like, uh,

way to jump to conclusions.

yeah, like maybe

you were fucking annoying and they didn't want to talk to you, or you know, maybe he was tired, yeah.

No, the whole

like just the idea that men don't want to engage in conversations with her because they don't want to fuck her, like no, but not even that.

Like, for me, it would be like you literally don't know this man.

Did he say anything to you?

No, so you're just assuming he's dismissing the view completely because he's so shallow.

Like, that's fucking rude.

If somebody ever assumed anything even remotely like that about me, and I didn't even say anything, right, right.

She said in her apology that she projected her insecurity

onto the situation and made these assumptions.

Clearly.

Clearly.

No, I think it was really the book thing that like did it for everyone.

I think it was a series of things.

And I think for different people, different things really bothered them and affected them.

I think for you, obviously the Jewish dog thing.

I think for the most of America, they don't really care about instances of anti-Semitism.

I think for a lot of people, it's this Odell Beckham Jr.

thing.

And I think for a lot of people, it was the book Child Mission.

Sound off in the comments.

What did Lena Dunham do to to you?

I don't know.

Sound off in the comments.

Raise your hands if you've been personally victimized by Lena Dunham.

Also, I think for a lot of people, it was the show Girls.

I think the first season was really great and revolutionary.

But then I think the later seasons, there was a lot that.

that didn't need to be in there.

Yeah.

And I think people didn't like it, especially people who love the first season, which was most people.

Yeah, no, I watched it all through and through.

And I think a lot of people still love it.

Like, I think a lot of people watch it as their comfort show.

I watched it once and like, I never really needed to get back to it because everyone was the fucking worst in that show except for Shoshana.

Um

where was I going with that thought?

I'm not sure, but all in all, like Lena Dunham needs, and by the way, I think she knows

this, the situation that she's in because she really hasn't done any front-facing work, camera, in front of the camera work in many, many years.

Everything I've ever seen her do, she's like a writer on, she's a creator of, she's director.

She uses her talents and she is talented for sure

in a non-public facing way because I think she knows she's become like so polarizing.

Yeah.

So that's good.

At least she's self-aware.

That's good.

You were watching something that was written by her.

Yes.

You didn't know.

Industry.

Me and Ben watched the first episode.

And when we were done, the first thing was written by Lena Dunham.

And we were like, also, we just talked about that Jennifer Lawrence vogue cover that had an essay by Lena Dunham.

Oh, yeah.

She does like the cover.

She does like looking at her.

Oh, and she wrote the review on the cover of

Jeanette McCurdia's book.

Yes, she did.

So she's a writer girl.

She's a writer girl.

She's very behind the scenes now, and I think that's best for a while.

We still need to break it.

It hasn't been enough time.

I don't know if it ever will be.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Is it the...

Yeah, I'm ready.

Oh, no.

Yeah,

I'm ready.

Okay, cool.

Germaphobe Howard Stern leaves his bunker to dine with pals for the first time since 2020.

Damn.

Infamous germaphobe and COVID-fearing Howard Stern, who has been broadcasting from home since March 2020.

Yeah, went out to dinner for the first time since the start of the pandemic.

He dined at the Israeli restaurant Laser Wolf in Williamsburg on Saturday night with a host of stars, including Jennifer Aniston, close friend Jimmy Kimmel, John Hamm, Justin Thoreau, and Jason Bateman.

A fellow diner snapped the photo and sent it to Dumois where we all can see it.

I saw this on Dumois and I was like living for one, this group of people, two, them eating at this like Israeli kosher style restaurant in Brooklyn that's popping off Benwet.

He said it was amazing.

I mean, it must have been amazing to get Howard Stern out of his house for the first time.

And all those three years, all the way in Brooklyn.

He said on his show that he had a really exhausting weekend emotionally and physically.

For the first time in two years, I ventured out of the house.

He said it was too much for me.

It was too much.

I haven't been out in two years.

He said that Jimmy Kimmel invited him to this dinner and with his wife.

And his wife was excited and wanted to go.

Howard was skeptical.

He said, I said to my wife, I don't want to go.

I'm in a panic.

I don't want to get COVID.

Ike, I feel like this is like

how agoraphobia starts.

Yeah, I

obviously it's an enormous privilege to be able to like work from home completely.

Literally not leave your house for three weeks.

It's not even about like working from home.

It's yeah, it's all of the services that are being brought to you.

It's all the people, all the people that have to leave their house and work in order for you to have those things.

Right.

No, it's it's extremely privileged and it's kind of like crazy.

And I feel like

he might be like struggling.

Like this is how you slip into full-blown agoraphobia, like afraid of leaving your home.

Yeah.

And obviously there are degrees to germaphobia.

I think he's, his, is very extreme, but I do feel like his show and his persona for so many years has been like, you know, he's the man of the people.

He's so relatable.

Yeah.

I can't imagine his listeners are hearing this and are

team Howard.

No, because, you know, a lot of people, they listened to him in the car on their way to work, truck drivers who are responsible for the supply chain who literally kept us all alive during COVID.

It's, and by the way, he's totally entitled to be feeling nervous, whatever, but like to broadcast it is like a little out of touch.

Yeah, I think this reads is pretty privileged.

Yeah.

And then like the one time he leaves, it's like dinner with Jimmy Kimmel and Jennifer Anna Smith.

Right.

And it's like that's just not been his brand.

No, he's really like blue collar guy.

Everyone.

Man of the people and the voice of the people.

But I don't think anybody can relate to this.

I can't imagine there are that many people in this country who actually have not had the privilege to not leave their house in the last three years to do so for the first time dining with Jennifer Anniston and John Hayes.

I think a lot of the people who are still hunkered down are hunkered down for a reason.

Like they are autoimmune.

They have diseases that actually put them even more at risk.

And even those people have to leave their house because they have to work.

They have to grocery shop.

Like not everything.

can come to them.

It's extremely privileged and it's giving a little yikes.

And that pains me to say because I love Howard Stern.

He's like one of my biggest role models.

I feel like Howard has been kind of yikes in the last few years.

Like I feel like we've reported a few stories on him where it's just like there was something a few weeks ago about Howard.

What did he do?

And he did something.

He was against someone.

Oh, the queen.

Not to bring it back to the royals.

Nah.

He was not here.

Like, so it's giving yikes.

It's giving yikes.

That's so crazy.

Yeah.

I can't believe he's been doing his show from home.

I had no idea.

Yeah.

Especially because he does his show in a big studio and Robin is in a separate room.

And also, what about the guests?

Are they coming to his house?

No, I'm sure they're all remote.

That's great that the show is like the quality hasn't changed.

And obviously, well, he's the biggest show at the biggest radio network.

They're going to find a way to make him premium content wherever he is.

Right.

And you can obviously have a home studio and the show goes on.

I'm saying for everything outside of work.

I also feel like this type of like paranoia can lead to trouble in a marriage because it sounds like Beth was like, let's please go to dinner, get me out of this house.

And he's like, still so afraid.

And I feel like, um,

you know, it's no way to live really.

She's also much younger.

She's very social.

She's fabulous.

She does a lot of work with charity.

Like, she's got to go.

She's got to leave the house.

And if they can't leave the house together, I feel like that's, you know, could potentially have negative impacts on the marriage, which would be terrible.

Yeah, I feel that.

So that's like a weird flex from Howard.

Weird flex news of the day.

Yeah.

I agree.

Next up, are you ready for our next story?

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I have like, there's a piece of debris under my leggings.

I'm not sure if it's translating to the camera, but it's gorgeous.

There is a piece of debris stuck to the inside of my leggings.

I look like I'm fingering myself.

Debris?

There's debris.

What was, what did we keep?

Shrapnel.

Shrapnel.

Oh, I got it.

It's like a piece of glue stuck.

Ah.

Sorry, you can continue.

Don't mind me.

I'm just like picking up my vagina.

Okay, because our next story is some book news.

New celebrity memoir by Constance Wu is out, and it's called Making a Scene.

And before, reserve your judgment, because she is making a lot of revelations in her newest book

and pulling back the curtain in her new memoir, making a scene.

In the book, she offers her.

It's Making a Scene?

It's called Making a Scene.

That's a good one.

She offers her thoughts about rising to fame as one of the stars of ABC's Fresh Off the Boat.

She puts forth allegations of rape and on-sex sexual harassment.

The rape before

she was on the show and onset of Fresh Off the Boat sexual harassment allegations.

And she has reflected on what motherhood means for her career.

So she is revealing a lot in this book, including that she was sexually assaulted before finding fame.

She also claims a male producer harassed her on the set of Fresh Off the Boat.

And she talks about her attempted suicide attempt after the backlash she received following Fresh Off the Boat's renewal.

I remember many years ago, she had tweeted that Fresh Off the Boat was renewed and she wrote on Twitter that she was really upset and she was like crying that it was renewed.

And I think a lot of people were thought she was ungrateful.

Outraged, ungrateful, et cetera.

And she said that.

it led her into such a depression she contemplated suicide.

I mean, when the internet comes for you, absolutely nobody and nothing can prepare you for what that's like for your mental health.

So I totally believe that.

I think a book is actually great for Constance Wu because she had this really weird moment where she blew up, not even so much from Fresh Off the Boat, from Crazy Rich Asians and then hustlers.

So it was this kind of unprecedented success.

And then just it came out that she was, you know, allegedly a monster and terrible to work with and really mean.

And the internet did its thing.

you know, drove her to complete madness, contemplating suicide.

And she really has not been heard from for a very long time.

And yesterday, actually, I saw TikTok.

She's in a new, I think it's like a kids' movie.

What?

About the alligator?

Oh, she's also in a new Amazon Prime show, The Terminalist.

Oh, she's in this new movie.

It's like about this young cartoon boy who has like a best friend that's a crocodile, and he's trying to destigma.

Like, crocodiles are nice.

Like, they're not mean.

And Sean Mendez, like, I think has a song in it.

And then she was doing press with Sean Mendez, and she looked extremely smitten by him.

I mean, who wouldn't?

So she's been like popping up in my life recently when she's been really MIA for a long time.

So I guess the book coming out with this new resurgence of work makes a lot of sense.

And I'm extremely open to reading this.

I think everyone deserves a second chance.

Like, let's not, you know, forget what she did wasn't that crazy.

She was just like kind of mean.

It's not a crime.

Yeah.

To be a diva.

That's really sad.

It is really sad.

And I feel like when the word diva is thrown around about someone, it's like everyone just sort of believed it i don't even know if we had it the worst thing you could say about someone yeah a woman yeah and i don't know if at the time there were specific instances of diva like behavior but then it was also coupled like with this tweet where she seemed ungrateful and it's like for those reasons she deserves the mob right and in hindsight it's like No.

Chill.

No.

And you know what it reminds me of?

I kind of love Mariah Carey for that, for like embracing the diva.

She's like, yeah, no, I won't walk into a room that isn't playing my music and I want my water at 64 degrees.

Like she totally embraces that as like a positive thing.

And did you see the drama when she was on Megan Markle's podcast?

What's the drama?

So she was like talking about the word diva and she was like, you're a diva, honey.

I see.

And Megan was like, who are clutching her pearls?

No, I'm not.

And then, you know, how Megan's podcast is like interview style, but then Megan will like draw out and do like a narration.

And she was like, I couldn't believe that Mariah called me a diva.

I was like, you're literally a princess.

Relax.

Like diva is not a big deal.

And Mariah is like really out here destigmatizing the word.

Like it should be like, yeah, we're all divas.

We should be divas.

We should be divased.

We should be women who need, you know, only the green MMs.

Like, it's fabulous.

Totally.

What's wrong with that?

I so agree.

I want to read Constance's book.

I imagine she's very misunderstood.

Yeah.

And I'm interested in hearing her story.

So I'm going to go.

And a book is a fabulous way to become understood.

Yeah.

But it requires people's time, patience, and people have to be open to wanting to understand you.

I'm open.

I'm very open.

I'm open.

So to get so famous so fast when you're young, like we're human.

Like that's what happens.

People become a little out of control.

As long as they don't murder anyone, I'm okay.

Right.

Like we need perspective, like as a society.

And sometimes I, even for us, I feel like that perspective doesn't come until it's

a bit of time passes and you look back on something that felt like the biggest deal.

It's like, what were we all bent out of shape over?

No, every time moving forward where we're discussing someone getting backlash or going through some sort of cancellation, we need to have a perspective omiter.

Like we need to say, in the grand scheme of the world, the big bang theory, what does this mean?

What does this represent?

What does this symbolize?

100%.

Our fifth and final story is actually someone who's getting some backlash.

So I wonder if you'll bring that to to your family.

Okay, let's see.

I'll use the big bang theory.

The try guys will edit Ned Fulmer out of future videos amid shocking infidelity scandal.

So

the try guys put out a video called What Happened.

I've saw it.

And the remaining guys of Try opened up about the future of the Try Guys.

They said, quote, Ned Fulmer is no longer working with the Try Guys.

By now, we're assuming you've seen the Reddit threads and TikToks and tweets and news articles.

We want to give you a timeline of what's transpired and some transparency into our decision making.

Throughout this video, there will be things that we want to say or go into further, but as I'm sure you're aware, there's some legal issues we have to consider as we go through everything.

Then Keith explained that in the turn of events began after multiple fans saw Fulmer and a colleague engaging in public romantic behavior on Labor Day weekend.

After asking Ned about it, he confirmed the affair had been secretly happening for a while.

Keith said, it was obviously very shocking to us.

We just want you to know that we had no idea this was going on.

All of that information was just as shocking to all of us as this has been for you this week.

Then

Lee Yang explained that a three-week investigation then began involving lawyers, publicists, and human resources experts to oversee the process.

Sounds like they totally handled it like super professionally.

Sounds like Ned agreed.

Like it doesn't seem like there's major like contentiousness here.

And I feel like I said this when we reported on it first last week, like cheating on your wife, terrible.

But like if you work at Google and you cheat on your wife, you still get to work.

With someone who works for you?

No.

For you?

Oh, yeah.

I forgot that that's what makes it like a fireball offense.

Right.

Yeah.

And people were saying in the comments when we did talk about this that Ned's like whole personality, not that

it was less of a crime, but his whole personality on the show was his marriage.

So I think that just makes it a bigger deal to the family.

No, and it feels deceptive.

Really invested.

It feels deceptive when you're following someone.

That would be like, if this whole time I was eating salads, you know?

Right, right, right.

You're following someone who's a liar.

Yeah, like putting out one thing and being another.

Yeah.

And that's the thing with why internet personalities who get canceled or go through scandal always feel like bigger is because this relationship you form as a viewer of a digital personality is much deeper than that of a traditional celebrity because you're like obsessed.

You're seeing this person in their bathtub.

You're seeing them like it's so many, there's so much more.

of a connection.

They're so much more vulnerable.

And

it can be bigger.

You feel like you know them.

And so it feels like someone that you know, imagine if you found out a close friend was cheating on their wife.

It'd be the biggest deal.

Meanwhile, I think it's really important to remember that as much as you love an influencer or a podcaster, even you don't know them.

Like you don't know them.

And so when they do something that, you know,

doesn't align with the version that you have of them in your head, like you can't get so bent out of shape because at the end of the day, you don't know this person, like for real.

Yeah.

Like I don't,

of course, you can disagree with him cheating on his wife, especially with an employee, but like you don't have to like

deconstruct your entire self.

I think a lot of times why internet culture is a little toxic is because the level of obsession people have with like certain YouTubers or even TikTokers, they build their sense of self around Addison Ray.

Yeah.

And it's not healthy.

And I think it's really much worse with like younger kids.

I think the older you get, you can separate, oh, this is a podcast or something I like to watch and this is real life.

But with the younger kids, like so much of their identity and their sense of self is built around being obsessed with Charlie D'Amelio.

Yeah.

And then when Charlie is like, it's not normal.

It's not healthy.

Yeah.

When Charlie does something that you don't think Charlie should be doing.

You have a crisis, identity crisis.

Yeah.

You need to separate for real.

It's not healthy at all.

Like you need to separate.

Even I feel like, you know, years ago when we were in our most like toxic era with a lot of our fans, like when we said or did something that people didn't like, the way that people reacted was so abnormal because like the level that they were obsessed with the show was also sorry it was abnormal yeah you you really need to and that's what's so weird about the internet because I don't think this happens with traditional celebrities like no I don't think you become so obsessed with like Sean Mendez honestly I don't think so maybe Sean Mendez okay you don't become so obsessed with Julie Bowen Right.

That when she does something you disagree with, it shakes into your crisis.

Yeah, and I'm not, I'm not.

I'm just saying this is a crisis.

I wasn't saying what I said about the toes, like to be rude.

Like, of course, you should be obsessed with this show.

It's amazing.

But like, I think, you know, we got to a place where, you know,

the obsession takes on an unhealthy level of

obsession.

Yeah.

And so when

no one is ever going to

talk and say and act in the exact way you want them to we're all different human beings We're all extremely nuanced So it's inevitable that someone you are obsessed with will do something or say something or make a decision that you don't love.

And if you react in a really unhinged way, it's probably because your obsession was a little unhinged.

Perhaps, or you just can't handle difference of opinions.

Difference of opinion or like something happening that you don't agree with.

Yeah.

I just think internet culture is really slippery.

And it's really,

it can become like extremely unhealthy and toxic.

Yeah.

So

best of luck to the try guys who went from four to three.

Everyone's rebranding.

Everyone's rebranding.

Quickly, because we don't have an official TV recap today, but I know you caught up on Tell Me Lies and I'm all caught up as well.

And there's a new episode dropping tomorrow.

Oh my gosh.

So tell me your thoughts.

The girlies just got back from winter break.

Steven is more unhinged and manipulative than ever.

I was literally like

queasy watching this episode.

Like when he was in the sauna with Wrigley.

That was sick.

My stomach was like in knots.

He's so sick and so twisted.

What the fuck does he care?

He's like an actual sociopath.

My prediction, remembering that this is a book and so there's going to be like an end, now I have to start to think of like the end game.

And I do think that maybe, and maybe this is a spoiler, but I think that he killed Macy.

I don't think that what he said was the truth.

I think he doesn't want anyone to know about Drew because then they'll go back and investigate.

And not that I know that Steven was in the car.

Who cares?

Yeah.

That, you know, there was more to look into about it.

So that's just like my reading mind.

I wasn't sure if he actually was in the car and he was being genuine in that moment because I'm like, that kind of doesn't add up.

No, I think he was, it was a half truth and it was enough of the story to make Lucy feel like connected to him.

Right.

And to move on from being upset.

But that's not the whole story because he's a big fat liar.

It's also so painful to watch Lucy who's like in this vulnerable position.

Like she's a freshman in college.

She's obsessed with this guy like she's so vulnerable and to see her just be so manipulated because we're like watching from an outside perspective so it's like come on Lucy wake up but it's like she's in it and

it's so painful to watch her um just slide down this slippery slope because he's so controlling and manipulative and he knows how much she likes him and how how how to manipulate her because she's so young and impressionable it's very it's painful to watch it's painful to watch i'm happy that diana inadvertently is out of the equation now because like Lucy, she deserves better.

And I love that the people who are getting married in real time are like starting to find one another.

Like they're just now connecting.

Like I love that girl.

I love that girl.

I need them to find each other sooner.

I need him to stop talking to Lucy.

He said his name.

He tried to help.

It's time to go.

But like when you're...

I think he likes Lucy.

He does.

He said so.

And so that's awkward.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But like it is and it isn't because like I'm sure there are plenty plenty of college relationships where it's like, oh, actually at one point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everyone likes each other in college for a minute.

Yeah.

Like I went to college with Cole Sprouse.

He was obsessed with me.

He was obsessed with McClartia, but could you blame him?

I went to school actually with Dylan and Cole.

They were just fighting over it.

And that's why they didn't talk for years.

Yeah, no, 100%.

Like, I actually, I went to Argo T and I saw Cole and that's where we first met.

And he was just like, kind of like all over me.

It was like a little embarrassing.

No, actually, going to NYU the same time that Dylan and Cole did, like, everyone was talking about them all the time.

It was like kind of crazy.

Yeah.

They hadn't had their resurgence yet.

So they were just the kids from Sweet Life.

And it was like, you know what?

Good for them.

Going to college, trying to be normal.

Dylan had a girlfriend all throughout college.

Cole was like the more mysterious one.

He was like an archaeology major.

It was, it was really cool.

That's pretty cool.

I also went to college the same time as Anna Sophia Robb.

She was also at NYU.

But that was before Carrie Diaries.

Yes, you were.

After Bridge to Terabithia.

you were an obsessed, like no, but I saw her and like I would quake.

That was like the cool.

There was like very few things that were cool about NYU.

But one cool thing was like a lot of celebrities went, not for all four years, but like Carly Kloss was there for a short period of time.

It was cool.

What celebrities now are go to school at NYU?

They're obviously a lot younger than us, but I feel like there's always a celeb or two.

Yeah, because we always get like the news.

I don't know.

That's a good question.

I feel like a lot of like TikTokers.

like when I was popping off on like Instagram and like my blogger days and I was an NYU student, like nobody cared.

Well, because everyone at NYU is working on their art.

Yes, yes.

I was just

another artist.

It was really like an artist collective.

So those are the Fast Five stories.

That was the toast.

And that's all we got for you guys, right?

That is all she wrote.

We will see you on Thursday because tomorrow we will be fasting.

What are you going to read?

So, I'm still reading City of Likes and I'm going to download one other book.

I'm not sure.

I have so many on my list.

Have you heard of Woman on Fire?

No.

What's that?

So, that is the book that the book club decided to move forward with after

I threw a wrench.

And everyone really appreciated your

candor.

So, here's what the,

let me look up book club.

That's what the decision was made to go with Woman on Fire.

It's

about art thievery and Nazis.

Looks great.

I did say, like, come on, guys, Nazis for our first book.

Like, can't we do a little porn?

But it's about time I expand my horizons.

Yeah, and that's what a book club is for.

You can read the porn on your own time.

100%.

And I would feel like a little embarrassed reading like some spicy books and then like having to talk to my friends about it, you know?

Yeah, that's personal stuff.

It's personal.

Let something spark discussion.

Porn is more personal than comedy.

All right, that's our show.

Everyone who is celebrating Yom Kippur tomorrow, have a very easy fast.

Gumar Khatimachova.

Make it meaningful.

Make it meaningful.

We'll see you on the other side.

If you're not celebrating, well, not celebrating.

If you're not observing the holiday tomorrow, have a great hump day.

I'm jealous of you.

Thank you so much for listening to The Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast text stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have been in creab Tuesday, and we'll see you on Thursday for our final show of the week.

Bye.

Bye.