S5 Ep137: Either The Hero or The Wench: Wednesday, September 28th 2022

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning shows.

Happy hump day.

Wow.

When you take Monday and Tuesday off, the days are kind of stunning.

I had no idea it was hump day, and we're not celebrating with anyone that we love aside from each other.

That's true, but we're also celebrating together in studio.

If you're watching on YouTube, you see Jaque is back.

It's not Photoshop.

No, it's real.

I'm not that good.

She's almost there.

I'm getting, I'm getting there.

I'm back in the studio.

You can hear the buzzing of the trucks and the jackhammers.

It's New York City, baby.

Jackie's been in town since Sunday night, which means Roald is in town since Sunday night.

And it has been,

honestly,

beyond any expectation I could have had.

Like for real.

Like having Roald back in my life, it's like, oh, you guys went away, but like you're back, you know?

Yeah, I'm here.

We have so many work things that we're doing this week.

It was also Russia Shuna.

It was Russia Shuna.

And so it's really been a productive week so far.

Personally, professionally, it's nice to be back with the family, have some quality time, and also do like meetings, meetings, meetings.

Podcast, podcast, podcast.

Yeah, no, your girls are moguls.

Photo shoot, photo shoot, photo shoot.

You know,

I hate to be that bitch, but like, there's really never been a better time to be a toaster because like there's literally so much coming.

And a lot of people thought that you flew here intentionally to escape the hurricane, which is just you had this trip planned.

And honestly, your timing was pretty great because it's hitting your area like soon.

Yeah, the hurricane's supposed to really hit this afternoon into tomorrow They're forecasting that it's gonna hit around the Tampa area Yeah at its strength So if you are in that area, I'm sure you know what zone you're in.

Please be careful.

Please, you know, evacuate and do what you need to do.

Olivia was sending us some fucking wild ass videos.

I saw a literal picture of a tornado.

Yeah.

It's really scary and I just am thinking of everyone until this passes.

Did you do anything to your house before you left?

No.

Do you have hurricane insurance?

Yes.

And we have hurricane windows and we brought in our patio furniture so that it doesn't go flying to the neighbors.

So that's the extent of what we could do.

And hopefully everything will be okay.

Hurricane Ian.

It's hard to say.

It's hard to say.

And I don't want to be insensitive.

I'm just like, I just want you guys to know what's going on in my head at all times.

And when someone's saying Hurricane Ian, I'm saying Hurricane Ion Mueller.

I was thinking.

Because my daughter married Ion Mueller.

No.

I was thinking about that yesterday, that scene.

And I was laughing so hard.

It's the funniest quote, and it's another John Corbett sleigh.

Also, why I've actually was thinking about it recently is obviously because of Hurricane Ian, but I finished Only Murders in the Building, and that bitch that the makeup artist on the set of Razos is the aunt.

What do you mean you don't eat meat?

That's okay.

I make lamb.

She's the aunt from Big Fat Greek Wedding.

I gotta watch Big Fat Greek Wedding again, just so I can re-acclimate myself.

Like, what was that joke we used to make about,

okay, remember how the dad in my Big Fat Greek wedding with the grandkids would always say, like, if there was anything, like, any word that came out of the kids' mouth, be like, you know, this word comes from the Greek word.

What was that joke we used to make on the toast?

No, like, I would just say any word, and you say, it's, give me a word, any word, and I'll show you.

It is Greek.

I'm going to re-watch just so I can like start quoting it again and being annoying and making it my personality, you know?

Yeah, it's time we move on from sleepover.

No, it's not.

It's never time to move on from sleepover.

No, no, no, but we could add more information.

But let me add repertoire.

If I offered you a brownie or if I offered you a stock of celery, which one would you take?

These days, this week, unfortunately.

Unfortunately, it would have to be celery because I'm on a diet.

Ew.

Yeah.

I can snatch to the gods.

Oh man, not like you.

No,

I'm here with the snatcher.

She's actually taking over Margo's podcast.

It's one of the big announcements that we have coming up.

Yeah.

Claudia has become the snatcher.

Claudia has become the snatcher.

I'm sorry.

McLardia.

McLeardia.

Sebastian McClurdia.

Has become become the snatcher.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

The sweatshirt's like really big on me.

But that's like the point.

Yeah, no, for sure.

No, but just like, it wasn't, you know?

Yeah.

It was spitted.

Yeah.

No, we did something really exciting this week and not to be secret project assholes.

No, we're going to be secret project assholes.

Like, you're not fucking ready.

But our turnaround time is going to be as short as it can be for a secret project.

So hopefully within the next few weeks, like you will know what we did and we're excited.

And why, and why we did it.

And we'll tell you, and I feel like people never do this.

We'll say, this was the secret project we were talking about on this day.

We'll follow up.

We'll circle back.

There's never any of that.

People always post on Instagram secret project.

And then six months later, you know, it was a photo shoot for a magazine.

Like, was that what you were saying was secret?

Yeah, like this week, we've done like a few things that are all leading up to like two major secret projects that are coming.

Like imminently.

Yeah, like I want to say like maybe even next week.

Like we're not going to be annoying.

No, it's definitely next week.

It's supposed to be next week, but you never know.

Right.

Secret projects are always getting delayed.

Right.

So you don't want to over promise.

And under deliver.

So we'll just leave it at that.

But like, it's been a really busy week.

Very productive.

Very secretive.

Very secretive.

Today I have a personally productive day because I'm getting a haircut.

Haircut.

Everyone's talking about it.

Everyone's talking about my haircut.

No, I'm actually really excited for you.

Because you got into mole woman level.

And I've been there.

Yeah.

No, and so much of my hair has fallen out since my last haircut.

So I need

shorter, fresher so that it can

back up.

No, not bob, but like I am going to cut some inches, I think.

Like it's going to be stark.

So that it feels much healthier.

It's going to be a tabula rasa.

Tabularasa.

with the hair.

No, I can tell you I got like a chop last week and it's definitely given me a new lease on life.

Yeah, I'm excited for that.

And then what I'm most excited about, honestly, the real reason I'm in town

is I'm getting Botox later and it's time.

I haven't had Botox in a year and a half to two years because I was pregnant and nursing and your girls are inkly.

I just want to say, like, you really are not.

Like, for someone who's apparently been like off the wagon for a year and a half, like, I would never tell.

I know it's not, like, that bad, but I got so used to and fell in love with my forehead not moving that it's too much movement for your girl.

100%.

There's nothing good happens when there's too much movement.

Yeah.

That's kind of like my philosophy online.

I'm waiting.

I have like three things written down that I don't want to forget.

Okay.

The first is that like kind of like a huge deal that I was able to announce today is that I'm moderating a panel at Bravocon.

They like, they're so funny.

Like when I agreed to do it, like they just like send me emails like very like that RVC are blasted to all the other moderators and they're just like leaving me out of my i'm like here you can go i'm like they're like i can announce they're like yeah yeah go so i got a really good one i have i really need um someone to like send this around to all the podcasters like who canceled yeah because i got asked like literally four days ago and i was like fuck yes um but it feels like they wouldn't be so last minute you know like somebody canceled and they needed a replacement who lives in new york and i was you know second rate and i'm super happy about it but i do want to know who replaced me yeah no no i love you and i think you're everything i know you are not their first choice.

I can feel it in my bones.

No, especially like for, I got like a premium ass one.

I got Kyle Richards.

It's the panel is all about like the sickening vacation spots that all the housewives have gone to.

So there's two producers on it.

And then Kyle Richards, Luanne De La Seps, Kenya Moore, Candace Dillard-Bissette.

Like that's, that's like Danny Pellegrino.

Like maybe, you know, something came up for Danny and he's not going anymore because I don't know why they chose me, but I'm super honored.

It's Sunday, October 16th on the on display stage because I'm on display, on display, on display.

And I'm excited.

I feel like it's a real honor to have been asked, even second, you know?

Yeah.

You know, like you're going to be up there shaking that thing, and that's all that matters.

It doesn't matter.

Maybe it was third even that you were asked.

Yeah, no, for sure.

I don't care because at the end of the day, like, I'm the only loser who wasn't, you know, already booked and busy, and I'm available.

Yeah.

Yeah, so it's fine.

Yeah, I'm excited for you.

Me too.

And then the other announcement is

Spritz is finally being sold in New York.

And to celebrate that, we're going to to be rolling out across the state, you know, this month, but we are already in

Total Wine Westbury Plaza.

And on October 3rd, what day is it?

I told him it's October 3rd.

October 3rd, which is Monday of next week, is that correct?

I am heading to Total Wine Westbury Plaza with my husband Ben Soffer at 5.45 for a meet and greet to celebrate the launch of Spritz in Total Wine Westbury Plaza at 5.45 on October 3rd.

Wait, which plaza is it?

Oh, such a good question because it's actually confusing.

There's multiple plaza.

It's the Westbury Plaza.

Great.

I think.

Yeah, okay.

So I would love to see you all there, and we're going to get Spritzy, even though right now I'm like a little hung.

Like, I need to not drink until Monday, October 3rd, because.

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Yep, I just missed Bryce, and I just wanted to.

Oh, well, let's also update everyone on Bryce.

Yeah, and I need an update on Bryce because Bryce came also on the trip and he was with me for like the first day.

But as stated, I'm so busy.

It was a lot.

And I don't want him just like sitting around all day alone.

So he went over to Claudia's for a few nights so he could be with Theo, go on Theo's walks, be with Claudia, Ben.

Get the crew back together again, butters.

Everyone's back together.

I need to know how my boy is doing.

I miss him so, but I know this is what's best for him.

So he's doing really, really well.

I think he really liked it at Auntie's place.

I really wanted to get him to sleep in the bed

because Theo sleeps in the bed and then it's like me, Ben, and two dogs.

Like it's literal heaven.

However, on night one, like, he was he was giving trepidation, you know?

I think he wasn't understanding, like, this is where he's spending the night.

I think he thought he was hanging out at Auntie's house.

So, every time you got up, it's like, okay, time to go home.

Right, every time, like, I would get up to pee or even just like flip over on my side to plug in my phone, Bruno's like, oh, up, up at the door.

I'm like, bitch, get the fuck back in bed.

Because he got dropped off at night.

I don't think he realized what was happening.

Maybe if you tried tonight, he would be more interested in it.

He's been in the crate for two nights.

He definitely likes it, so I don't feel bad.

Like, when we get up, he knows and he like runs in.

And I've been feeding him in his crate just to make like theo's crate feel more you know like a comfortable space for him yeah

he's doing amazing like he's really really doing incredible he's so happy to be back on the walks with the crew he adds like a certain gena sequoi to the home no he has a zest for living i can't lie like he's been with me for like 36 hours and for like most of those hours ben has been in charge because i happen to have been like so busy yesterday um

so ben has taken on the majority of the caregiving but starting now like it's on me.

Well, please continue to send me pictures, videos, brep dates.

Tell him his mommy loves him and misses him so, and she's so proud of him.

I will.

I do feel as though we should get into it because we have a lot to catch up on.

Like, we haven't done a show since Friday.

And we also have deer toasters.

And we have an update for, like, one of the ones from last week that

shook up the toaster community.

So I'm ready.

I'm ready.

And then I also have to go get my haircut.

So we obviously can't take it.

Right.

No, and that's the haircut that everyone's talking about, right?

And their haircut is so important.

Yes.

So you're going to have like a new genaisé sequoi.

Yeah, tomorrow, like you guys will see the results of the haircut.

Don't let me know what you think, just in case.

Negative thoughts.

You can't undo it.

And I had one other thing to say, which is that I watched a really good movie that I just wanted to share with the class before the weekend.

I watched Do Revenge on Netflix.

I think it's on our list.

Everybody's talking about it.

And it's amazing.

And it is that movie.

And I loved it.

Cami Mendez, selected her.

I love her.

And there were so many great references.

And the plot was great.

I liked the beat.

And if you're looking for just an easy, cute cute movie to watch on Netflix, I would watch it again because there was so much eye candy.

It was so good.

And she was so incredible.

Yeah.

So that's my tip of the day: do revenge.

It's on my list for sure.

Like, I wanna, I just don't know in what setting, you know?

I wanna, I'm waiting for the right time.

Yeah, it was the perfect time for me.

I was like, I don't wanna read tonight, but I want to watch something, not a show, because then I'll never turn it off and I won't go to sleep.

Movie.

Movie.

So now, without further ado,

brew, where is Brew?

Theo misses his mama.

Do

to do, where is Brew?

He's back with his friends.

Do it

do,

where is Brew?

His mom and auntie are singing because they're together and they cannot sing when they're apart.

Any other songs we want to sing?

While we are together?

Yes.

Theodora, did to do to Theodora.

Did to do to Theodora!

Crunchy

Coughinganty Dora!

Crunchy angel Dora!

Gorgeous boys Dora!

Beautiful chairman Dora!

Floppy boys Dora!

Love of my life, Dora!

Long ears Dora!

Long neck Dora!

Long legs Dora!

Sexy ass Dora!

Fuzzy little Dora.

I wanna have sex with you, Dora.

Bestiality, Dora.

Don't knock it till you try it.

Snout nose, Dora.

I love the boys.

Maybe we should wrap this up so we can go hang out with them.

100%, but I have to get a haircut.

So now, without further

doom, where are you?

Here are the fast eyes stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Today's episode is also brought to you by Bolin Branch because we are Bolin Branch girlies.

You know, you're staying at a hotel without your Bolin Branch.

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Crap Ola.

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You know who loves Bolin Branch?

Bryce.

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And that's why he went to stay at Claudia's so he could could sleep with her sheets.

He said, mom, I'm sorry, these hotel sheets are not up to code.

He's literally Prince George from the show of The Prince.

Like, this is not, it's not Bolin Branch.

Gotta go.

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Call me when we're going home.

So Bolin Branch, as you guys know, is the official bed sheet

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My guest room at Jackie's house has it.

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For all the season one of Aina Way, like, you know, in the rock.

Okay, except

welcome.

For all the toys and all the things every day.

Yeah, I don't know.

Okay.

Our first story: big news.

I don't have my iPad.

Oh, okay.

What are you doing?

I know.

I look so rude to be on my phone.

I couldn't agree more.

But I don't have my iPad, so it is what it is.

Because it's got used to charging on your iPad instead of mine.

It's not charging my iPad.

And it's all your fault.

I hope you're happy.

Because of told mom.

First story: big news of the weekend.

Rihanna will headline the 2023 Super Bowl halftime show.

Quote, it's on.

The pop star hinted at her performance at Super Bowl LVII by posting a photo of a football to her Instagram on Sunday.

It was giving?

What was that photo giving?

If you want to know what I'm going to say, like, we are truly the same person.

It was giving something I don't know.

No, come on, come on.

Come on out there.

Come on.

I'll give you a clue.

Like, it's a really random, it's actually not that random.

Okay, Clint Eastwood,

okay.

Remember when they had that reality show?

Yeah, Mrs.

Eastwood and Co.

Mrs.

Eastwood and Co., and that daughter, who is sickening, Francesca,

was dating that photographer, Tyler Shields.

And that photo is so Tyler Shields.

Like, when we were in high school, everyone was obsessed.

Like, your Facebook cover photo was like a Tyler Shields photo.

He did the Birken on fire.

It's basically just like a white wall and something in front of it.

Yeah.

And the photo, I would not be surprised if it was taken by Tyler Shields.

Did anyone else's mind go Tyler Shields?

No, but now that you say it, that is what it looks like.

So it's just like a hand holding a football.

The official Twitter accounts for Apple Music, and the NFL then confirmed Rihanna's performance on Sunday, saying it's on Read the Tweet.

Okay, I have like three things to say.

The first is like, even though I'm the biggest 50 of all time, for reasons stated last week, I am relieved it's not Taylor Swift.

Like, I'm not in the mood to hear Blink Space a thousand times.

Um, but I would welcome the opportunity.

Second of all, um, as she sits in her 1989 sweatshirt, no, totally.

I'm not being a hater.

I'm being a lover.

Like, I want to protect.

No, I want to protect the integrity of Taylor Swift.

Like, I don't want to put her in that vulnerable position, you know?

Sure.

Because if she really wanted to change hearts and minds, like, she would have to do a three-hour concert where she sings peace on repeat, you know?

Like, I just, I want the best for her always.

Now, the thing is about Rihanna, I'm overjoyed because Girly Girl is just that.

She's a girly girl.

But this feels like, you know, if I went on tour, like, singing, do you know what I mean?

It's like something I do, but like, not really.

It's not what I'm known for um and I feel like I've just in the last few years I really resigned myself to the fact like Rihanna is a former singer like she is now an entrepreneur mogul and that's my association with her like if I had to write down what her job is like and start a LinkedIn page for her it would be entrepreneur mogul so this just feels funny to me like

like she's not a singer anymore like forgot you know I mean I disagree I think it's a little dramatic I know we all want new music from Rihanna but like she is a singer she has a huge catalog and it's like you're always knocking people who won't do the thing that made them famous.

And here she is doing the thing.

I just find it that made.

I find it hilarious when you don't fucking listen to what I said.

No, I'm not knocking her.

I just said I had a giggle.

You're getting caught up.

I had a chuckle.

You're getting caught up in the memes.

Like, where's the new music?

Like, if no, like, I never fucking said that, bitch.

Are you listening?

I literally never said that.

No, you're not going to make me a hater because I am a hater to my core.

But I'm not being a hater.

Literally, I'm not taking the memes.

All I said was that I found it comical.

Like, I don't find it comic.

I had a chuckle.

I'm like, oh, yeah, she's a singer.

I'm not asking for a new album.

I'm actually loving the era we have Rihanna in currently.

I'm just saying, my God,

I can't even come on the show without being fucking attacked.

Okay, you guys just saw that exchange.

Who was attacked?

Yeah.

No, you know what?

Who's wrong?

No, no, no.

Who was attacked?

Sound off in the comments.

Well, my attack was a little bit more obvious.

What people will probably see when they re-watch was your like fucking subtle digs.

You know what it was giving?

It was giving like real housewife jab.

No, I was giving LVP.

You were like digging on Rihanna.

like I wasn't fucking digging

I just was saying I got a chuckle okay sorry I went to the chuckle hunt okay

now the other thing I wanted to say before I was fucking attacked

is we're definitely gonna get some sort of documentary about this I feel like it's gonna be very um Beyonce getting ready for Coachella because, you know, she just had a baby.

She's kind of been out of commission for a while when it comes to performing.

I'm not attacking, I'm just saying.

So I feel like we're gonna get like a documentary of her like training for this.

Okay, I I disagree because I think it's so.

You'd be such a fucking wench today, like for real.

Fucking wench vibes.

I, well, also, I might be like totally wrong.

I also thought they hadn't picked her performing yet.

So what do I know?

But Lady Gaga did it.

It was cool.

Jennifer Lopez did it.

It was cool.

Did anyone finish watching?

I never started it.

I don't think it was cool when JLo did it, for real.

So I don't think Rihanna is going to like do something that now other people have done.

It's kind of expected.

No, she, I think she'll do it, but not in the way that like, it's not going to be on Netflix.

Like she'll do it like so cool, like during a savage show, like something.

You know, yeah, it would be like on Patreon.

Even though she does have like a sickening partnership with Amazon Prime for Fenty, so she actually might just do it with Prime.

Yeah.

And you know, Prime is where documentaries go to die.

Or I could see her like finding a way, because it's weird that we don't have this, where you can watch her halftime show on Prime, like on demand.

Like, why can't I, why do I have to do it?

Because you could watch it on YouTube.

YouTube videos.

Like, there should be a cat, like, one streamer should have the halftime show.

That's actually a really really good call.

And maybe that's what Rihanna will bring to the table.

Honestly, I feel like it would be Hulu though, because they're like all about sports.

They have like Hulu likes sports.

This is not an ad, but they do.

I see the commercials for it.

YouTube has a lot of sports too.

Yeah.

And I do believe like you need the license.

I think YouTube has it.

Yeah.

Well, anyways, I think it's going to be amazing getting back to 100% point at hand.

Do you think she's going to bring people out?

Because like so many of her big songs are like with Drake.

Like she has like great collabs.

And I would love to see a Drake moment, even though, oh, you know, I saw, I mean, I went to dinner last night.

I saw everyone.

First of all, Cindy Crawford.

It was, it was crazy to be in her presence.

I also saw Travis Scott.

He looks exactly what you think.

Like, whatever he looks like in pictures, that's exactly what he looks like.

It's actually,

I was like, I thought, like, it was crazy.

Like, I was like, am I looking at a picture?

Like, it was just people when you see them in real life up close, like, they always look different.

Exactly the same.

Cool.

Yeah.

It's popping.

I think she'll bring out guests, but I hope she doesn't.

I wish she wouldn't.

I know.

Yeah.

I'm so sick of the medleys.

I'm over.

I want a one-woman show.

Yeah.

She's capable of that.

Yeah, I want like a Katy Perry extravaganza.

She brought out Lenny Kravitz when she did her iconic one.

Missy Elliott.

That's weird.

She brought out Lenny Kravitz and then they ended up on American Idol together.

Lenny Kravitz?

No, Lenny Kravitz.

Sorry, where is she?

Okay, sorry.

I do get Lenny Kravitz.

It's confusing.

It is because they both have like famous kids or wives.

Both.

Like Nicole Rick.

Yeah, sorry.

I do get them confused because also I don't know any of their music but they're both so famous yeah no i'm except hello it's been favorite song

i was gonna say

i was gonna say it's me yeah

i can see it in your eyes i can see it in your smile

sorry yeah so what did she perform with lenny kravitz i forget got it okay i don't even that's so funny because i just remember like her being on that big lion i don't remember he wasn't on the lion don't know what i'm saying

i don't remember her bringing people out yeah no she brought the two of them it was a really great show but like lady gaga one woman show loved that lady gaga's is my favorite i think in in recent

actually bruno mars and beyoncé was pretty sickening too cold play was there though and they kind of who cares yeah the one thing about me is like

i don't i don't really want to say but like i don't really with cold play like i follow them on tick tock and they're doing this thing and like i really appreciate them trying to help the environment i do um where like you show up to their concert early and ride a bike to create energy to power the show.

And it's like, so not only do I have to pay for these tickets, I have to work the show to it.

You have to work the show.

Isn't that crazy?

They have all these bikes and like people during the show and before the show, you can come early and do it.

And then during the show, you can ride.

And I'm not sure it really can be helping the environment that much.

I'm a little skeptical.

I thought you were going to say, like, you come, you ride bikes, and we're storing like wind power to, you know, help.

No, they're powering the show because they're trying to decrease their footprint, which I get.

I totally get it.

I thought they would like be powering a village.

And I just think if I'm going to get on the bike, like I want a discount, you know?

Or like, you should be paying me cash for every five minutes I'm on this bike.

I just thought it was a little chutzpid, but like their

craziest thing.

No, I know, but like their fans like love them and like love that vibe of like decreasing the footprint.

So they like, I think there's like a line for the bike.

Like,

so that's what I'm saying is like, I will never be one of those people, even though like when they were just here at MetLife, like it did look unbelievable.

Like, I do want to hear Jerusalem bells singing, you know?

Yeah, there's a few songs that really get me.

Yeah, but for me, like any kind of affinity and like positive vibe I have for Coldplay like really has to do more with Gwyneth Paltrow than anything else.

Yeah.

Because she was so beautiful and stunning and brokenhearted that he was moved to write Fix You.

He wrote Fix You when they broke up?

No, when her dad died, he was like, she was so like perfect and just really perfect inspiration for a song.

And that's the thing about Gwyneth Paltrow.

Like,

come for her because she is that bitch.

Like, the greatest song of of all time just happens to be written about her.

Yeah.

She is that bitch.

And I also love the Jakota Johnson of It All because I've, I literally, okay, so there's, you're going to love this.

There's this trend on TikTok where they take the Kanye song, human beings in a mob.

What's a mob to a king?

What's a king to a god?

What's a god to a non-believer?

So what they do is like they keep leveling up.

So it's like human beings in a mob and it was the crowd at the Ellen show.

Ellen.

Yeah, like people who fucking love Ellen.

Okay.

So they're like, they're the human beings in a mob.

And then it's like, what's a mob to a king?

And they had like her DJ, you know?

Like they level up.

And then they had Ellen.

What's a, what's a, what's a king to a god?

And the god is Ellen.

And then it's Dakota Johnson.

What's a god to a non-believer?

Because she was the one who like brought down Ellen.

I'll send it.

It's funnier in video than it is.

No, no, it's good.

I really like it.

It's really for Gwyneth to pop in.

No, no, no, sorry.

But I've recently become like kind of obsessed with Dakota Johnson.

And so any affinity I have for Cold Play comes from her as well because I support women.

Yeah.

In this situation, not in all situations.

Just want to clarify.

Got it.

Got it.

So

Rihanna.

The Super Bowl.

Cool.

This is great news.

I'm so happy.

I'm so relieved.

It's better than I could have imagined.

I agree.

And you know what?

That means we still have Taylor Swift and Pink.

To look forward to.

And Pink.

And what about Kelly Clarkson?

Have we ever thrown her name out?

Queen.

The thing is, and I hate to like keep, like, I'm definitely, I came to the show with an agenda today.

And that, and every day, that agenda is to get you back on TikTok.

And I think one of the things that could get you back on TikTok is if you knew how like this younger generation is learning about Kelly Clarkson and developing this

enormous amount of respect for her, like so many of her random songs have gone viral.

Her Kelly Okeys that she does on the Kelly Clarkson show, like they get picked up a thousand times over.

There is a place for you on

Kelly Talk.

On Kelly Clark Talk.

I just need to get my account back.

It's not about me.

Oh, yeah.

What happened?

I haven't heard anything from anyone.

If you work for TikTok, please help me.

It's really, I will get TikTok.

Like, I'll be on it on my iPad.

That way I can.

When it's got used to your iPad instead of mine.

Yeah.

That way I don't get addicted to it on my phone.

But I can't get into my account and I'm not starting a new account.

No, no, and you have so many iconic videos.

Iconic in my handle shacky.

Oh.

Like, we'll get it back.

Somebody, I'll put a call out on my Instagram.

Thank you.

That ain't right.

That ain't fucking right.

So

Rihanna is going to be wonderful.

It's fabulous.

And it's the first story.

And we do need to move on.

We need to move on, yeah.

Because we have a lot to do today, and I have to get my hair cut.

What are we?

Like, already 30 minutes in?

40?

It's hard to see.

Yeah, it is.

It's hard to know.

I think it's almost 40 based on the time.

Okay, let's get to it.

Next up, Haley Bieber reveals she has spoken to Selena Gomez since marrying Justin.

Oh, okay.

I watched, like, while I was getting ready today, maybe 30 minutes, so I didn't get to that part.

That's interesting.

Okay, so Haley Bieber is on Call Her Daddy.

I think it dropped at midnight last night, and she revealed she has spoken to Selena Gomez since marrying Justin Bieber in in September.

She said, quote, it's all respect, it's all love.

Good.

When Haley insisted there is no drama personally between her and Selena, Alex asked whether they have talked.

The model said yes, noting that Selena doesn't owe her anything.

She explained, neither of us owe anybody anything except respect.

I respect her a lot and I think there are no expectations between us.

I respect her.

Everybody on our side knows what happened and we're good and we can walk away from it with clarity and respect.

That has brought me a lot of peace.

We know what happened.

It is what it is.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Because I watched the first like 30 minutes and I was hella bored.

I was like, let's, and, and I was bored while we were talking about the good stuff.

Like, I'm like, why am I bored?

Um, and I kind of just wish, like, honestly, and I love Haley Bieber, so like, I wasn't watching the interview to have my mind change.

Like, I could watch her fart.

Like, she's so fucking beautiful.

But she was, like, talking about this thing that like has been following them and haunting them for so long.

And I just found it kind of boring.

I kind of wish Alex had like dug a little deeper.

I felt like like she would ask a question and then Haley would answer it and like kind of like drop jewels and that that required further questions and then we just like moved on to like how'd you pick out your offer today?

I wish we went a little deeper and maybe that was like one of the things they had to you know agree to in order to get Haley on like she's wanting to speak her piece and not you know but they broached the subject.

Yeah, no, honestly she clearly didn't say like don't ask me about Celine or I gotta keep an eye out for Celine.

And by the way way, Haley, the whole time, like, at first I was like, why does her eye look like that?

And then I realized she was keeping an eye out for Celine or

I just felt like it wasn't a great interview.

Okay.

I haven't watched it because I mean, I haven't had time for midnight till now.

And I might just to like see Haley in action.

Stunning.

Like you, you could die.

Like

there's been a lot of chatter and that people think it's strange that she's like doing this down right when Celina's about to drop a six-year documentary.

And by the way, I'm sure that she is, by the way, and I'm fine with that.

This thing has like fucking followed Haley Bieber her whole life.

Like every single person on the planet had a boyfriend or a girlfriend before they met you.

It's not a crime.

And the way like people are so fucking mentally ill when it comes to Jelena,

it's not normal because you don't know these people.

You don't know what happened.

And it's not on you to get justice for Selena Gomez.

It's not.

Like she's a grown woman and she will heal in her own time.

And I love all three people involved.

And I am, you know, stable enough to realize that people,

friends get bored, friends get married, strangers get bored, and strangers get buried.

Like life goes on.

People move on.

But I'm right where you left me.

Wow.

That song is literally about Jelena Stans.

Like, everyone's moving on, but I'm right where you left me.

Yeah, I'm still

far off.

I'm still at the restaurant.

Still.

Do you think that's what Taylor wrote it about?

Still sitting in the corner I

Literally,

I just, to me, she seems like she has so much more going on than like Selena, but I'm just so removed from it.

Like, when I think of Haley and Justin, like, I don't think about Selena.

Like, I don't think I'm the exception.

I don't think that Haley Bieber can wake up a single day without hearing the word Selena, like, on her phone.

Like, I think it's so

I, yes, and I, I think she's probably does that, but I think, like, she's trying to run a business and be a celebrity and like do all these things.

And, like, she can't go on Instagram Live without literally the comments being Jelena, Jelena, Jelena.

Okay, you can do, you can run a business, be a celebrity without ever going on Instagram live.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

She's an influencer.

And by the way, she literally has our, like, Gen Z in a fucking chokehold.

Like, she is the tastemaker of our generation.

Yes.

So, and, and she's

cashing in on that, like, with Rode.

And she's becoming like this.

style and beauty icon and she just wants to do that in peace.

Yeah.

And for for us, I think like maybe it doesn't seem like the biggest biggest deal, but I think like she's confronted by it literally every moment of every day.

And it's about to come up even more with Selena's documentary.

And you know what?

Two things can be true at the same time.

Like Selena's experience can be her truth and

Haley's experience can be her truth and they can both coexist.

Like people experience things differently.

And like I don't, Haley, basically my takeaway from the first 30 minutes that I watched was like the timeline is what people really like have a problem with.

Like they think that Justin cheated on Selena with Haley.

And she's like, that's just not true.

Yeah.

Like I was there.

there, I lived it.

Your perception of it can be one thing, but I fucking lived it and it's not true.

And she was cursing too.

I was living for it.

Right.

And I just have to say, like, I'm not endorsing cheating or anything, but like, okay, so say that they did, even though I did, believe her when she says that they did.

Yeah, even if they did and you're so bent out of shape about it, like five years later, five years later, they are married.

They couldn't be more rock solid.

Go away.

Yeah, no, it's like at some point you have to forget, you know?

Yeah.

And it's just like, it's, it's people not being okay.

That's what it comes down to.

Like true, truly unwell human beings um

so i didn't need this interview you know what i mean it's not like i she cleared all this up like i fucking love haley bieber and you know what i love selena like i just finished only murders i thought she was excellent i have like a problem with the second season in the sense that i couldn't follow what the fuck like what were we investigating i didn't even remember and i really i really truly didn't care who ended up doing it i was just loving the gals being back together of course the way I would lay my life out on the line, lay down an oncoming traffic for Martin Short is not normal.

And those are words I truly never thought I would say, like back before.

Yeah, I'm like, Martin Short.

I'm like, is that the guy who like went to jail for big pharma?

Skrelly.

Right.

Obsessed.

But

spoiler alert, at the final 30 seconds of the show, there's another murder so that we have next season.

And I just feel like they don't really need to keep doing that.

I feel like they could, this show, obviously.

Second season made them into Joe Rogan.

Like they're the Joe Rogan of podcasting in the show.

And I would love if we could follow their lives as, like, moguls who every season investigate a random murder.

Like, maybe they leave New York one season and investigate kind of how Becky in Oklahoma.

Like, yeah.

I don't think it needs to keep being like people they know dying because it's a little unbelievable.

It's only murders in the building.

But that's what the podcast is called.

So, like, we don't.

We don't need to be in the building anymore.

That's what I'm saying.

I do think we've exhausted the building.

No, but like, that's why they got into it.

But also, it seems like this murder happened on spoiler, but it's not really the stage.

So, how can we do that?

It's not the building.

It's not in the building.

We're already leaving the building.

Right.

Unless the actor is someone who lives in the building.

Paul Rudd.

That was a nice little surprise.

Yeah.

Okay, so all I'm saying is, like, you can love Selena and you can love Haley and you can love Justin.

And I'm living, breathing proof of that.

And you can also be stable.

I'm a stable person.

I agree.

I just feel like there's so many more interesting things about her.

What else did they talk about from what you saw?

Like,

like

let me actually see how much of it I watch because I watch it while I'm doing my makeup but I was um

because honestly like they covered one topic while I was okay listen to 28 minutes yeah so maybe I missed a lot but the first 28 minutes were covering the timeline like it was actually really slow like

okay got it but I am gonna finish it because I would love to hear her talk about conversation with Selena that's

I don't think she said what she said to Selena she said yes why we've spoken and yeah I think

Haley was giving us everything and nothing at the same time And we stand a queen who can do both, you know?

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

I am, but like

the fact that

through our work, we kind of discovered the true meaning behind Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Schwiff, like that is crazy.

You think it's about Jelena Stans?

Yeah.

Because everyone else has moved on with their lives except for you.

Because you're right where you left me.

Think about it.

Our next story is some fashion news.

Kim Kardashian.

Because we're a bunch of fashion girlies.

We're such fashionistas.

Fashions.

Kim Kardashian debuted Dolce and Gabbana collaboration at Milan Fashion Week.

Chow Kim.

Kim took her design talents to Milan Fashion Week this season, teaming up with Dolce and Gabbana on the house's spring-summer 2023 fashion show.

September joggers.

You're literally charay.

Models walk the runway in a collection of reworked archival looks curated by Kim, while a black and white video of the Skims founder eating spaghetti and the sound of clicking paparazzi cameras played in the background per UK.

The color palette was kept mostly to blacks, metallics, and leopard print, with some models wearing choker necklaces that spelled out Kim in bold letters.

Also, many members of her family, including Chloe, Chicago, Saint, North, and Chris, were in attendance to support her.

Right, everyone's kind of talking.

Like, Chloe totally eclipsed Kim's moment by being photographed with Michelle from 365 Days, who is the hottest man alive.

And people are like, she's got to get dicked down in Milan with a guy from 365 Days.

Like, he needs to take her captive for a year and make him fall in love because that's what happens in the movie.

I completely agree.

Like, the way I need these two to start fucking, like, now it's not normal.

I would, if I had to, I would lay my life out on the line just so they could have that moment together.

And do I, I think it's the end-all-be-all for her?

No, but like, she needs to have some fun.

She does.

Some fun.

And this man is literally, there's not a hotter man.

And he was, like, very clearly into her, like, following her around the club.

And they were filming.

So, like, I hope we'll get a Michelle moment.

That's so cute.

Yeah.

Um, so that was what really everyone was talking about.

And I feel like nobody cared about the fashion show.

Kim looked amazing.

Like the whole vibe is like, you know, glamour, Milan, spaghetti, Marilyn Monroe.

It's not like the most like creative, like different idea, but she looked fabulous.

You know, could I ask you something?

Do you think it's like Courtney is feeling some type of way that like this was her partnership, her wedding, and now why wasn't she there?

I don't know if she's feeling any type of way, but like let's let's be really real with one another.

That partnership only existed because Kim exists.

You know what I mean?

So maybe she utilized the partnership first, but the roots to the partnership connect to Kim.

Right, but like Kim never was like a dolce girly in like publicly like this.

Like she's always been like so high fashion, like always wearing futuristic looks.

And now all of a sudden she's like really leaning into this style that was like inspired by Courtney's wedding.

No.

Which I wouldn't say anything was amiss except for the fact that Courtney wasn't there.

So let me say this.

Let me say this.

I think if we're going to trace back to like the Kardashians' relationship with DNG, I think it probably goes back to Simon Huck and Chris Jenner, who go to that show show every year, like stay at the castle, go on the boat with the DNG.

Like they're a part of the DNG family.

I know for the last five years, every time I watch Instagram in the summer, like Simon is there with Chris.

Yeah.

So you think it's Chris's relationship

with Simon.

I honestly think like Simon made the intro.

And I don't know this, even though like I know Simon, I can literally ask.

I think if I had to guess, like Simon made the intro for the family to DNG.

Like he's been like part of the DNG family for as long as I've known him, like going multiple times a year.

Got it.

To the show.

Got it.

I just wonder when the wedding partnership, like who facilitated, whose idea was that, who reached out to who.

Honestly, I would say Chris.

It was amazing.

It's an interesting take, though.

I didn't think about it because like,

who cares if Courtney's there?

Like, she doesn't go to Fashion Week all the time.

She was like the DNG bride and like she made the whole family.

And like, I don't know if they...

I mean, everything that they do becomes a moment, but it just became like so much bigger than just like a wedding weekend in Italy.

It was a whole fashion campaign.

And now Kim's the face.

But like that became Kim's aesthetic because she had to wear those outfits, you know?

Right.

And I think she liked what she saw.

She liked what she saw to be like dressed in like what Dolce does is like they dress a woman's body.

Yeah, it's very feminine.

It's not the stuff that she's like Balenciaga.

Spandex.

Silhouette shapes,

you know.

It's very like traditional timeless glamour.

No, I love.

And at the same time, Chloe watched Cam and Tommy and she started doing her hair like that.

Right, right.

And Chloe,

that crystal and black jumpsuit that Kim had worn at the wedding.

She looked amazing in it.

The kids were wearing mini versions of it.

Chicago.

I mean, you said Michelle is the reason for the season.

Chicago has taken the internet by storm.

100%.

With her lollipop and her sunglasses.

It was a fabulous, fabulous moment.

Kendall wasn't there either, right?

No.

See, like, to me, that's more obvious because Kendall's literally like the it girl of modeling.

Why wouldn't she just model in the show?

And that's what they were talking about in the teaser for this week's episode.

Kim is going to Prada and she calls Kendall and is like, do you want to fly with me?

She's like, I'm still waiting to hear if I booked, if I booked it because I auditioned or whatever.

And it's like, you're obviously going.

So she could walk in any show she wants.

But it might be a conflict.

I don't know how those things work, you know?

With what?

Like, Kendall is the face of so many brands.

Yeah, she can't just lend her face.

To every single one.

Like, I'm sure there's like non-competes.

She's like, long champ now.

She's Louis Vuitton.

Like, she's everything.

Yeah.

So maybe there's a conflict.

Yeah.

Also, I think maybe Kendall was working Milan Fashion Week and like just couldn't just drop everything and and go to the show for the moment.

Like, that's so crazy because if like you and I found ourselves in Milan the same week and like I was there working and you were there working, like we would go to each other's events.

I know, but maybe that's just like, we're not as busy as them.

No, and we're like...

They're desensitized to like the fame of it all and like we're like Milan.

Yeah, and like every the big deal of it all.

Even though this felt like it was a really big deal for Kim.

She like is posting a million times and it is a big deal.

She looked amazing.

Yeah.

And she had so much like creative input.

It's not just her face.

No, yeah, she was designer girly.

Yeah.

Great partnership.

Stunning.

Gorgeous looks.

Everyone really turned it out.

Gorgeous moment.

Gorgeous moment.

Our next story.

A little drama at SNL, but like, not really.

Keenan Thompson's estranged wife is dating his former SNL co-star, Chris Red.

Wait, what?

Keenan Thompson's estranged wife has moved on from the longtime SNL star with one of his former co-stars.

Wait, this is fucking weird, no?

It is, but there's like no beef.

Christina Evangeline is dating Chris Red.

TMZ.

Christina Evangeline.

That's like really close to Christina Evangeline.

Wait, Evangelista.

Christina Evangelista.

Oh, okay, sorry.

I was thinking of the wrong person.

Is dating Chris Red.

TMZ reported.

Keenan is married to the biggest superhero in the world.

Claiming there's no bad blood between Keenan and Chris over the new relationship.

Sources close to the new couple told the outlet that Chris Red and Christina became official with the past year and that there was no cheating or overlap in the relationships.

In fact, Keenan and Christina reportedly have been living separate lives since 2019.

Reps for the Stars didn't immediately return Page 6's request for comment.

No, it's fucking weird.

It's just weird because it's like, well, how did they meet?

No, and it's like

of all the girls that you could date, why do you choose the one who used to be married to your coworker?

Like, it's hella unnecessary.

And I don't even think they're divorced yet.

Like, they're obviously not together.

They're saying there's no bad blood, but like, if you're a human being, like, you, you would be...

Even if...

Even if Keenan and his wife had the healthiest split of all time and they genuinely like love each other as friends, but it didn't work out.

Even in a situation like that, we are, it is the human experience to

find this weird.

Like, it's weird.

Yeah.

And it honestly makes me think like weird things about Chris Redd.

Like, honestly, like, I'm thinking weirdly.

When I, I don't think I ever thought of him, period, you know?

Yeah.

But now I'm going to think of him as like the guy who like stole his coworker's wife.

It's Mr.

Ceel, your girl.

It's Mr.

Ceel, your wife.

Like, that's what makes it even weirder.

I'm sorry.

I'm calling it like, this is weird.

I don't think that there was anything nefarious that happened.

I think they split and then they started dating and the timelines are fine.

I think it's weird.

But

how can you be such good friends with someone like now every time you see them?

They're with your wife.

Agreed.

I don't think there's anything nefarious, but that doesn't take away from the weirdness

of choosing of all the girls in all the bars.

Like you had to walk into Keenan's house and take his wife.

It's weird.

Okay, well.

Good luck to the couple.

I hope they find love.

And I hope Keenan finds love as well.

Maybe we should add him to the list.

Yes, stay the the real influencers.

I feel like, you know, I feel like I've actually said this story a lot.

Like, for some reason, whenever I get into Ubers and like start chatting, they always love to share like famous people they've driven.

Yes, we know.

And on more than one occasion, I've had a driver who drove Keenan to and from SNL, and they all had wonderful things to say about him.

I think he's like a, he would make a really good husband.

What about Keenan and Chloe?

Chloe, I was thinking that too.

And if Kim and Pete were still together, that would just be.

But honestly, I don't see it working because Keenan is so SNL and he's so New York.

Like he's, I think, you know, Pete was very much like,

SNL was a part of his career, not his career.

And Keenan like puts a show on his back.

He literally has a hernia from all the work he does.

I think like he needs to have someone New York based.

Maybe it could be Chloe and Keenan take New York.

No, but see, like I would never encourage a relationship that requires somebody to move across the country from their family.

But obviously that's something you would do.

Yeah, for love.

for what's right.

Yeah.

You know, maybe like LA's not working out for Chloe.

I think it is.

I think maybe she should.

Kim was just on Kelly and Ryan.

She was talking about school drop-off.

Did you see?

No.

I haven't seen any.

I've just been like, I literally haven't even been on my phone.

It was really cute.

She was talking about, Kelly was like, when you go to school drop-off, like, what do you wear?

She was like, I wear Spandex.

Like, I come from the gym.

I'm wearing gym clothes.

And it's like always really emotional, but like

Chloe stays there all day, like literally outside the classroom crying.

Oh my God.

It was really sweet.

So like she's very connected to family.

She's not going anywhere.

Okay.

Well, maybe Keenan could give it all up for Chloe.

That would be sweet.

She's someone that you give it all up for.

But then like that causes resentment.

Oh, for sure.

Five years from my career.

Right, right.

Like sure, Keenan, whatever.

Sure.

Okay, our fifth and final story, something that Claudia just caught me up on.

There's drama with beauty influencer Michaela Kaler Noguera.

Yeah.

She is under fire for complaining that her job is different.

Listen, I experienced the whole thing, so I'm going to tell you.

Okay.

You don't want me to read from insiders'

perspective.

So Michaela Neguero is literally, she was on that Forbes list.

Remember we were talking about her?

And they said she made $2 million.

I know who she is.

You've talked about her a lot.

You're very influenced by her.

I buy all of her shit.

A makeup TikToker.

Yeah, and she's like from Boston and she has this crazy accent.

So she's like, she's not like other makeup gurus, you know?

Yeah.

And so this, she went on live a year ago and said this thing.

And then somebody posted a

cut down version of it on talk and it went viral.

So viral that I actually used the sound, and then when I found out what it was, I deleted my TikTok.

It was just, I was making a joke about try being an influencer for a day.

Try it.

Like, it was a joke.

And might you delete it?

Because I'm not going to contribute.

You don't want to pile on.

No, because honestly, like, justice for Michaela, and here's why.

So here's what she said.

The clip that's going viral, just the abridged version, is like this.

I'm just finishing work for the day and it's 519.

Try being an influencer for a day.

Try it.

Now, obviously, you just hear that, and it's like, girly,

you're not a coal miner like calm down it's five it's like it's beyond and it sounds extremely out of touch now with context it's still a little out of touch but it's not um and this isn't a girl who had anything handed to her like she was working up until i think two years ago at ulta she's worked her whole life in retail like we fought that's when when i first started following her i was like really early she worked at ulta and that's why she had like such um expertise right people trusted her her her opinion so this isn't a girl who is is like privileged by any means.

Like she's worked super hard.

And when you watch the full version of the clip, she was basically sitting down for dinner going on live and she was like, oh, I'm just tired.

Like I had a long day.

Like any normal fucking human being complains about being tired.

And then somebody like left a nasty comment, like, must be so hard.

And so she basically just responded saying, you know, I woke up at six.

She told us exactly what she did for the day.

She's like, I edited three videos.

I shot some branded content.

I had four meetings and then I had this.

And now I'm just now sitting down for dinner.

I'm 1919.

I'm just trying trying to die.

Yeah, you try being an influencer.

You try being

so she got like a little salty at the end.

Um, with context, it's obviously much better.

Um, and it's important to remember that she didn't suggest we slaughter all the children of the world, like, she just was being, you know, you tuned into her live, and she was talking about her life.

So I think personally, you don't know what the comments, I guess, does the video, is there a screen recording?

Does it have the comments in there?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Because you don't know what people are slinging at you.

What she was responding to.

Yeah.

And let's just say, for argument's sake, that there was no context and all she did was complain about being an influencer.

Is that out of touch?

Yes.

Does she deserve what's literally being thrown at her?

Like, no, people are so fucking crazy.

Um, and I find it really interesting that the new hot button issue, like the last couple of things I've seen people get canceled for, like happen on TikTok.

This girl, Tara's world, was like, I'm literally so productive.

Like, I, and she was like, it sounded like definitely out of touch.

Like, but again, she wasn't suggesting we slaughter all the children of the world.

She was just like,

I'm literally so productive.

Like, how are you, like, not working?

Like, you guys are like, that could never be me.

Like, and she got her ass fucking handed to her.

The new hot button issue is like, you cannot talk about working if you're an influencer.

No, but even like Kim saying, yes,

get your fucking ass up and work.

Okay, so like, why are people so sensitive of this new topic of me?

This new, I've noticed it.

I'm going to be steering clear of this topic.

Like, and I guess people don't want to.

Going head first.

People don't want to be told by people who have jobs that appear appear to be much easier that they have to work harder.

So if the coal miner says get your fucking ass up and they'll accept that?

Yes.

Yes.

I don't think they would.

Yes.

Yes, they would.

It's not what they're saying.

It's who's saying it.

I think that's why people are getting so bent out of shape.

Because it goes without saying that like being an influencer, everyone's job is hard in some way.

And there are parts of being an influencer that are super hard, but it's not nearly as hard as, you know, working in food service or working as a coal miner or a truck driver.

Is it the coal miners who are offended?

No.

Is it they're really the only ones who can.

The people who are offended are like, you know, the people who are always offended.

It's like, it's white women, like, no, and so it's nonsense.

Who work nine to five like cushy jobs for sure and who spend all that time commenting on social media.

So obviously they're not working that hard.

I just feel like it's so important that you add that part to the conversation.

Like the amount of time people are spending like tearing down Michaela when they should be working.

I just think it's important.

So I'm Team Nick Michaela because she really didn't say anything that fucking bad.

And if you're that, if you're really that upset, like you absolutely have to go outside.

You absolutely have to go outside.

And remember, like the internet is not a real place.

You don't know Michaela personally.

And you need to calm the fuck down because literally Michaela is like part of her platform is like she pretty much like gets on social media once a week and just balls her eyes out about how she cannot fight her depression.

Like she is so depressed.

And she's like literally, she's had unparalleled success.

Like I don't think she'll do a branded TikTok for any less than 100 grand.

Like she bought a house like and she did not grow up like that.

Like she is having unpressed and she says like these unbelievable things are happening to me and I've never been more depressed in my life like she's really vocal about how like her depression is so bad She's had it her whole life like in high school She went through a really bad bout and it's come back now and it's confusing for her because she's never been more famous or more successful or this should be the happiest time of her life So just keep that in mind when you're like yelling at her for something she said on Instagram live a year ago that you didn't even have context for like you're all nobody's not okay it's like no one is okay like take a step back the way that the needle is moving like to things that I like sometimes you'll tell me like some girls are getting canceled they said this and I'm like you're lying i'm like really that's not gonna stick like i know and really it doesn't what are we talking about the girls who said on that podcast that they would never date someone sober yeah and then they literally posted these like hostage videos apologizing and it's like

oh okay so you wouldn't date someone sober like basically like they said if you're sober you're boring and so if i was a sober person like maybe that would offend me would i demand an apology no i would stop listening to the podcast no but like or i would disagree like or something you could disagree with something without being offended by it like I oh my god Oh my god.

Yes It's not either just offended or not offended like you could disagree.

Oh, I don't think that's true or I see it differently and I still love these girls and oh on this point.

We just didn't agree

It's not like we say something on the show you disagree with it and so you have to stop listening to our podcast like no one's gonna agree with a hundred percent of the things that we say Say that thing again.

You don't you can disagree with something without being offended by it.

Oh my god.

You are literally Aristotle Like Jackistotle.

That is so fucking true.

It's not offended or not offended.

Yeah, because like I said, that's why I keep saying, like, it's not like she said, you know, I hate all Jews.

Like, it's not, it wasn't even an offensive thing.

It's somebody's opinion.

Yeah.

That you disagree with.

Oh my God, you just literally blew my mind.

Because I'm so like deep in internet culture.

Sometimes I can't see out of it as like a human being, you know?

Yeah.

And you just brought my head right out.

Yeah.

No, it's so crazy.

And also sometimes like I'll look at situations like months later.

And even in that moment, I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe they did that that or said that.

And then months later, I'm like, are we joking?

Yeah.

No, I feel that way about someone's cancellation, but I'm not going to say who it is because I feel like people still think it's crazy.

I feel that way about a lot of people's cancellations.

Yeah.

Like in the moment, it was really bad, but now like years later, you just realize like they just like, they actually made a mistake.

And like, it's okay.

Like, we're all human beings, but in the moment, it feels so crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And like, I feel like we owe people apologies for how much we fucking ruined their lives on the internet.

I'm not saying we sorry because I'm not fucking, I'm not like you.

I'm not like you.

I don't fucking do that.

I don't think that you didn't take up for them.

Yeah.

Not that you piled on, but like

you didn't help.

Yeah.

I wonder if people are going to come to that realization.

It's so hard because when someone's going through something, like it's a sinking ship and like, why would anyone get on board?

No.

And I like, I want to, I have values, but also I remember a time when like I was getting my fucking life canceled like every minute it was another thing.

And I don't really remember anyone coming to my defense except.

Literally Taylor Streker.

It's not even about that.

Like, oh, this person wasn't here for me.

So, or people weren't here for me.

for me.

That's what I was here for them.

It's like, you have a business, you have a career.

And like, you can't just keep going down with every ship.

Like, right, no, because that's the cycle of cancel culture.

It's like, you could get canceled for commenting on someone else's cancellation.

And who the fuck wants that?

No, nobody's worth that, bitch.

It's so sad, but it's so true.

So you just kind of have to be like...

Yeah, you have to be like lame.

Yeah.

Yikes.

Oh, I will say that.

I will never say that about when I don't agree.

I will never do that.

Like, I will never put it onto something or criticize someone if I don't don't think that they did something one thing about the michaela noguera situation that's actually really important to bring up is that you know now that you know her cancellation is happening people are doing a deep dive looking for old tweets old tumbler posts whatever and what they found was actually i don't think something we've ever experienced yet michaela is a former troll So her comments on Jaclyn Hill's Instagram from like 2017, 2018, where her thing, like one of everything everyone knows about her is like, she's Jaclyn Hill's biggest fan.

And she actually used to be a Jaclyn Hill troll.

Like she left a comment on a picture.

She's a fine line.

She says this all the time.

She loved to comment on one of Jaclyn Hill's pictures

of her house and was like, must be nice to make videos and just be rich for it.

And she actually left a non-ironic yikes on one of her pictures.

And I think she posted a picture like with her man and Michaela was like, ew.

Like she's a former troll.

That I think is more interesting than the working conversation, but that's just me.

Yeah, so I just want to say also you could look at it alternatively where it's like she used to be the same type of person that are now commenting and coming for her.

And it's like she used to think, Oh, you work, you post a video a day, and now you have this house must be.

That's literally what she said.

Now she's experienced.

So she's someone who's literally commenting on her stuff right now.

Yeah.

Being like, you think it's so hard to be an influencer.

And so if that person becomes an influencer, you go and they're like, oh my god, it's so hard.

Like, uh, try it.

And then you go back, and it's a cycle.

No, that's it.

And y'all are crazy.

And get off the fucking hamster wheel.

No, get off the internet, like, for real.

Some people just really can't handle it.

It's so crazy.

And it's like, you live like if you either die the hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

No, by the way, that is literally what's happening.

So just everyone take a step back.

Kayla is going to be, she's fine.

Leave her alone.

She's a great worker.

But she hasn't posted a money.

She had a bad day.

And also, like, it's not even like we have to make excuses for what she said, which she said, like, you try being an influencer, try it.

You know, I think what she was trying to say.

For more people to try.

You know, and I think that what she was trying to say is like

the perception of what you don't know what comment she's responding to, right?

Who the you is, yeah.

But someone who's being like, Oh, you're an influencer, you work one hour, literally, herself, her old self, right?

I think the her old self.

I think the point she was just trying to make is like, it looks being an influencer is definitely, of all the jobs in the world, not even close to being a hard one.

But I think it's a little bit more difficult than people assume.

I think people assume you sleep in, you post one video, you make a million dollars, and you go back to sleep.

That's not what it is, it is more laborious than that.

And I think a lot of the work that goes into it, you don't see because that's the point.

That's the point.

It's still not a difficult job.

I am acknowledging that.

I've had real jobs and I've had influencer jobs and I know what the difference is.

But that's not to say that it's not a little bit more involved than what you might think.

Well, if you think you wake up, make a million dollars and go back to sleep, then it's a lot more involved than that.

But even like for the people who do post most of their hustle, it's more involved than that.

And then you also have to think about like the mental aspect of it and the fact that she is struggling with depression.

So it's like doing all of this.

And this is a job that just would exacerbate any of that.

No, and being an influencer is the one job in the world.

I think more so than being a traditional celebrity where the hate you get is unparalleled.

Like you, it is not normal the amount of shit you have to hear about yourself and your family and people you love, about their physical appearances, about shit from their past.

It is worse than any major celebrity ever experiences.

The fucking websites that are created about you.

They don't run their own social media.

And even if they do, it's like, like, I'm like my juice today.

And everyone's like, oh my God, you're so great.

No, but there's not, there's not.

Some of them aren't even on social media.

And there's not dedicated places for people to talk about Hillary Duff.

In order for you to do your job as an influencer, you have to actively like enter all of these spaces where people are hating you.

And one thing about me is

I'm always going to take the side of an influencer because I feel like in a lot of ways, they are usually being wronged.

Now, that's not to speak for everyone because a a lot of them are fucking morons, too.

Um, but that's any job because there's a lot of moronic accountants, you know, there's a lot of moronic coal miners.

It always comes back to the coal miners, that's the thing.

I don't feel like there's moronic coal miners.

No, that I completely agree.

Actually, actually, Derek Zulander was a coal miner.

He comes from a coal mining family.

Remember, he goes back and he can't handle it for a day.

Oh, is that the secret?

The news?

No, in the OG.

No, I honestly don't remember, but that's fucking funny.

No, it's funny.

Like,

yeah,

yeah,

that's funny.

Yeah,

Okay.

Should we push Deer Toasters to tomorrow?

Yeah, because we had a lot of catching up to do today.

We don't have a TV recap.

Actually, I do.

I have a few things to say.

I think we should do Deer Toasters.

Okay.

Yeah, because also I finished Only Murders in the Building, and I just want to talk about it really quickly.

And I watched Game of Thrones.

Did you watch?

Nope.

Can't watch.

We got New Raniro, though.

Let's talk about that.

We can't.

No, no, no.

I haven't watched anything.

I can't talk about it.

I'll see you next Tuesday.

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All right, Deer Toasters, our advice segment.

You want to write in, it's dear toasters at gmail.com.

And you'll get really kind of profound, honest advice from two two girlies who really care about you.

Yeah, that's true.

Hello, ladies.

Please help.

We have a solid group of girls in my friend group.

We've all been friends for the last five years.

However, there's one gal, let's call her Jax, that is single and lately.

Let's not call her Jax.

She's single and lately has only been going after guys that are in relationships.

Some have turned into actual affairs in the workplace even.

Yikes.

That's what she is.

Ironic yikes.

And some.

She just sends flirty text messages to and tells us this guy could be the one.

I'm sure it's a defense mechanism because she's got cheated on in her prior three relationships, but what the hell?

We've tried talking to her about it and warning her, but she won't stop.

Most of us are in serious relationships and we just can't believe we're good friends with someone who willingly tries to tear relationships apart.

In the past, we've all talked so much shit on home records and now she's doing it and she seems almost proud.

Help.

Do we let it go?

Do we sit her down, actually have an intervention, send her to rehab?

LOL, kidding.

We're at a loss, but it's getting exhausting for all of us to keep the friendship up when all she talks about is guys that are in relationships.

Also, is it weird that I'm starting to lose trust in her as a person?

Of course.

We are all in our 30s, early 30s, if that matters.

Okay, love you, bye.

Yeah, I feel like at this point, like, you're, you guys are a little too old to be acting like that.

Like, that's shit people did in their like late teens, early 30s.

No, not, and not something that you do

like as a pattern.

No, I wouldn't bring this girl around my man.

She obviously has no respect for me.

I would keep this girl at arm's length.

Obviously, I would maybe say something to her if she was like, why are you guys treating me differently?

Like, and just be like, you have no scruples.

And it makes me uncomfortable.

I don't know how to stop you from doing what you're going to do.

Like, you're a grown woman, but our values don't align.

Right.

Like I'm almost at the place where I'll be entering my 30s and I'm, I plan on living an extremely scrippled life and I want to be surrounded by scrippled people and scrippled energy.

And this is,

there was a video that went trending on TikTok.

This girl, she's like, I'm 25.

Today's my birthday.

And here are questions I have for people in their 30s.

And this girl answered and she was like, because one of the questions was, how do I make, you know, more friends in my 30s?

And the girl answered, she was like, you don't.

Like your circle gets smaller and it's better.

Like you don't need a million friends people are not meant to be in your life forever some people are and some people aren't so to move forward with only scrupled people i think that's a really great way to go yeah because your circle will get smaller as you get older if you get married or you start a family like you have less time for people so you just want to stay close with the ones you're closest to and people fall by the wayside if she's going to behave like this like she'll be the first to go no and honestly you are who you associate with and like not like not to be shallow but like you don't want people thinking like you're okay with that, you know?

Yeah, no, I couldn't be around.

And honestly, the way you write about her, it doesn't seem like you have like great affection for her.

Like you would, you'd be okay with letting her out.

Yeah.

I mean, if you want to have a conversation about it, it's not there for you to save everyone.

No, but like 30s.

Sometimes people have a hard time dropping people.

That's something that some people just won't do, can't do.

For me, it takes me a long time to get to that place, but once I'm there, goodbye.

Agreed.

But some people, that's not in their vocabulary.

So if you want to have a conversation, just be honest.

Like, what are you doing?

The way that this path that you're going down is not something that I want to be around for.

It's offensive to me as a married person, like, to know that you don't respect relationships and we don't have anything in common if that's what you're going to be doing.

No, you don't respect wood.

Do you know that?

No.

From Curb.

Like, if you put your cup on a wood table without a coaster, you don't respect wood.

God, you don't respect wood.

Ben is always saying respect wood for someone who's literally never used a coaster in his life.

Yeah, what she said next up hey Jackson Claude OG breath are here and I'm needed some I'm I am in need of some advice about um

no it's just a weird way of phrasing like oh I was gonna say like is this not no no it's actually very appropriate based on what you're doing for today but said OG haircut

Botox.

Okay.

I'm in need of advice if there's such thing as too much Botox.

My friend Ruthie just started working as an aesthetician about a year ago.

She's absolutely beautiful, studying smart, but has recently been starting getting lip injections and Botox, which I have nothing against at all.

Fellow Botox are here.

The problem is our friends have been coming up to me asking if she's had actual work done to her face, like going onto the knife, because what's happening to her, she still looks gorgeous, but she looks different.

Do I say something before she gets too much done or let her do whatever makes her feel like her best self?

Sincerely a toaster who doesn't want her BFF to end up botched.

Yeah, it's like, on the one hand, you want to empower her to feel her best.

Like I was having this conversation at dinner last night because someone I was with was talking about how they want to get something done.

I'm like, just do it.

And she was like, really shut up.

If it's bothering you, just fix it.

Like, I'm very much a proponent of that.

But sometimes, like, it's like when you're editing a picture, you get so in the weeds with editing, when you take a zoom out, you really can't see if you look that different.

So it takes like a fresh perspective.

So I don't know if like you would be offending her, like in the sense that she likes the way that she looks, or maybe she's too in it.

She can't see out.

Yeah, I would try and like bring up the topic of conversation of Botox spillers.

Maybe be like I'm thinking about doing this and see what she has to say about it be like how much have you done be like and so that amount that you did in your lips is that what you're gonna do again when are you gonna do it and see if she has any sort of reservation reservation or she's like I don't know if this is for me like what do you think like just wait and say open the door just open the door and take her temperature on how she's feeling because if she's feeling herself like don't say anything yeah you don't need to tell her that she's like looking crazy because she might be happy with how she looks and then all of a sudden like you just put this thing in her head yeah totally totally.

And by the way, it's like you have to wait like six months for it to go away.

So like she's gonna be insecure for the next six months.

So I would just bring up injectables as a topic of conversation and see where she's at and if she's like looking for opinions.

And if she's not, I wouldn't offer any.

It's her life.

I agree.

And like

just because you like someone thinks something looks bad, it's subjective, right?

Like, maybe she looks great, you know?

She's happier than ever.

Yeah, but I do, I do think plastic surgery like is a slippery slope.

And sometimes people get like so far down and then years later, they'll look at pictures of themselves and be like, like wow he looks crazy like I wish somebody had told me right but even if somebody had told you like there was no stopping you.

It's true.

Our third and final is an update from the girl who wrote in last week about her mother-in-law who like literally is obsessed with her

husband's like exes always commenting on social media friend requesting and just being a general freak.

Yep, general update.

He talked to his mother, my mother-in-law.

She cried.

She came over the next day.

She brought me flowers and she apologized.

Am I the big fat wench now?

Thanks for your advice on this.

It really echoed with what my friends were telling me, but I thought I should get an outsider looking in opinion and y'all match my energy.

Ha ha ha.

I don't think you should feel like the wench.

I don't think you should die the hero or live long enough to be the big fat wench.

It's like unless you defend yourself,

you're a victim.

And then if you do defend yourself, you're the villain.

You're the villain.

No, but like mother-in-laws like, can be like so apologetic because they're like old and frowned that like then you feel bad.

Yeah, but you know what?

Mission accomplished.

And now just be super sweet to her because now she she wants to hang with you.

Tabula Rasa.

That's what you got.

Right, right.

You know, now she's not harping on the other girls.

She's going to want your time.

You have to play words with friends with her.

And you're going to have, she's having to think on your post and you're going to have to respond.

So responding to every story.

Yeah.

So you had a new job.

Because it's the one you got.

Got what you wanted.

Yeah, wow.

We really kind of set you up for that.

No, no, no, but it's good.

That was weird.

It had to end.

No, and she had a lot of like energy to give, and now you need to be the receiver.

Right.

She's clearly just like a person who distributes love.

So now it's all coming your way.

She, She kind of is like a love bomber, you know?

Good luck with that.

Good, because it's the one you got.

Everyone who wrote in, thank you so much.

Dear toasters at gmail.com.

We are always here for you.

That is our show.

Jackie's getting a haircut.

Extra, extra read-all about it.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast and Millionaire Morning Show, where we deliver the fast-fast stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast and where podcasts can be found.

So that's about it.

The Morning Toast and the Faseri

Hope you guys have an amazing day.

We'll see you tomorrow back in the studio with Jackson Cloud on Thursday.

Bye.

Bye.