S5 Ep116: Hound Dog: Monday, August 22nd, 2022

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Monday.

I hope everyone's having a great day.

They have risen.

They have grinding and they have

toasting.

Sure.

I think that's Aucus 1218.

I think so too.

Hi, Claudia.

How are you?

I'm scared to ask because last time I saw you, we were all together and it was a joyous occasion.

And now not only is it a Monday, we're separated.

No more flamingos.

I painted over them.

I do that every week when you leave.

I just put new wallpaper.

I put new wallpaper over new wallpaper.

I thought you and Harry were drawing it by hand.

I miss the flamingos.

I'm looking at them right now and they're like, what about us?

We only got four days.

What about us?

By the way, can I tell you that I've noticed you making a conscious effort to audibly laugh more?

I haven't been making an effort,

but my laugh evolves.

It's constantly changing.

It used to be a cackle.

Then, of course, I go to the tea kettle.

During pregnancy, my laugh definitely changed.

I think that's when it really became like silent crazy.

Yeah.

But I do want to laugh more audibly because the podcast listeners just think I'm a humorless bitch.

A humorless wench.

Wenchy.

Oh.

Wenchy.

Oh, well, you were being a wench yesterday when

you stayed in florida and i came back here so and you were being a bigger wench when you left my house um sorry jackie that i am a literal like

best-selling comedian and i have to come back i have a show in new jersey on thursday tickets available at girlnojob.com slash tour very few seats left um so that's why i'm back like i'm not back for naught

it just it doesn't I'm glad for you that you're a best-selling comedian.

Thank you.

It really doesn't make it hurt any less.

No, I completely agree.

Like it doesn't make it hurt any less that you moving to Florida was the right decision for your family, but it still hurts.

Yeah,

that's so true.

So true.

So sorry about that, but we're separated again.

And this time it was really tough because I think I spoke about last time how I was like so upset to be leaving, but I had a trip planned the next week.

Currently, I have no trips planned.

No, which is so sad and scary.

I do hope that you come like once more and then I'm coming to New York in September.

I have so many things to do, so many New York tings.

Well, I'm not like a planner, you know, I like wake up and I'm like, I think I'll go to Florida for the week.

Yeah, what if I just went to Florida?

What if I just bought a ticket?

What if you just...

Right.

So it's okay that I don't have anything planned because I'm sure I'll be there soon.

Yeah, and then I'll be in New York and we have so many fun tings planned.

So

then also you have fashion week coming up.

I don't know why I keep like thinking of fashion week.

I guess like in some other universe, I should time my trip to New York with fashion week, but no, I'll be there the following week.

No, you should time your trip opposite fashion week.

No, but like still clear.

But all the influencers, like they come to New York in September, like they're coming for fashion week.

There's events.

There's this, there's shows.

And just for me,

it's going to be the following week.

Yeah, no, that makes sense.

It's like coming to New York during the UN General Assembly.

Like it's congested.

There's traffic.

You also need to plan your trip.

They need to check those dates.

Yeah, the General Assembly, the city turns upside down.

You should come here that week.

Get out of Dodge.

I got to get out of Dodge.

But it really was a glorious weekend together.

I miss you already.

I miss Harry so much.

Like truly, the hardest goodbye is the kids.

Like, I couldn't even look at you guys.

I was just like, oh my God, Michaela and Harry, like, truly, what are they going to do without me?

Yeah, I think it's really hard because obviously like you and I FaceTime, you and I text.

Like I know how you feel, but when you can't communicate with these kids yet it's hard to like let them know like I'm going but I love you and we'll call and we'll text and like we'll catch up it's just like sometimes when a few times Zach has had to travel with Bruno and it's like yes Zach I'm going to miss you but like I can text you I can call you we will communicate brew

Where's mommy?

No, and like in their mind, Bruno and the other nibbling, it's like, oh, Auntie is abandoning.

But it's like, no, actually, I don't live here.

I was being kind by coming here, you know?

But you could live in my house if you want to.

The room is yours.

By the way, now that I've checked out, five keys.

Five keys for all.

It was a glorious day.

Five stars all around.

Great bedding.

Great privacy.

You know, nobody was really like entering my room, which I appreciated.

Great vibes, great fan, great lighting.

Great blinds, great mirrors, great closet space, really.

Great proximity to the kitchen.

That's huge.

Good stuff.

No complaints.

I mean, maybe like 4.7 keys because of the air conditioning situation, but that's more Harry's fault than it is yours.

I can't wait for him to grow up and be like, mom, my room is so hot.

Like, oh my God, drink up the AC.

I'm trying to do push-ups.

I'm trying to 50s.

Mom, I'm trying to do push-ups.

Like, can I get some air?

Okay, maybe next time he'll be ready for some more AC, but we'll look into that for you.

I'm sorry that it wasn't a five-key true experience.

No, you know what?

Because of the lack of air conditioning, I had to get myself a fan.

And that fan kind of like changed my life.

Like curling my hair with a fan on is next fucking level it's like camp it's like camp but for me every day is like camp like whenever i'm doing my hair i'm just sweating and i gotta get like a

like a standing fan for my vanity because i hate getting all foot clamped while getting ready it's like counterintuitive Yeah, it is counterintuitive.

Honestly, so many things about moving down here feel like camp.

Like, I really haven't left the house a lot.

The few times that I have, it really feels like I have a period off.

That's funny.

Yesterday and Olivia and I, like we made a plan a few days ago to get manicares because both of our nails were decrepit.

I hadn't had a manicure since New York.

I think it was like five weeks total.

And Olivia, I don't know, the last time she had a manicure.

So we got our period off yesterday and we got manicures and pedicures and we're just new women.

At least you guys like have an excuse for being decrepit.

You know, you have actual children who rely on you for survival.

I'm just decrepit, period.

I just can't believe you don't have a manicure in New York.

I feel like you you were doing it like out of solidarity with us.

For sure, for sure.

No, because it's like we were all supposed to get manicures together every day in Florida.

Like, if we ever had had time, we would have gotten manicures.

So, the thing is, is like I have spent three out of the last four weeks in Florida, and right before I left for the first trip, I was like, oh, I need to get a manicure.

And then I'm like, wait, no, that'll be like a fun thing to do with the aunties.

Like, we'll all go sisters manicure trip.

And then it's like, oh, you guys are too busy with, you know, your children to get manicures.

And I really kind of experienced the sacrifices of motherhood um so now i'm just left manicureless yeah you got to take care of that before your big show i know and you know what else i have stumbled upon facial tick tock specifically this one place dallas med spa um i was up for an hour last night watching their asmr hydrofacials first of all when you go to dallas since you go sometimes you have to go like okay it looks like such a premium experience they do derm this is not sponsored like they just have like a this like this random one spa that has a huge presence on TikTok.

And it makes me, I'm like in search for a really good hydro facial.

I want to get dermaplaned.

And that's kind of on my priority.

And I need a haircut.

Yeah.

The place where I get my facials that you don't like,

they do hydrofacials.

That's why I go.

No, I know.

Jackie was like, I got a hydro facial.

This was like a year ago, maybe more.

No, it was more because it was when Cameron Westcott came on the toast.

Oh, wow.

So like three years ago.

Yeah, but you know what happened actually?

So she came on the toast and we were like, how do you look so amazing?

She's like, I get hydrofacials.

So then like hydro facial reached out to me because I said like, oh my God, I want that.

And they gave me like a store locator.

And they were like, just pick any one of these places and then you'll go there.

So I just chose one that you personally didn't like.

Maybe they'll reach out to you and you could choose a different one.

Okay.

Jackie went to this place.

She was like, it's amazing.

I go.

It's literally this forlorn closet in the back of a spa.

It was like, you're so particular and very, you have like high standards for everything.

So Jackie says a place is great i'm like oh this is gonna be fine i said the facial was great i didn't say the place was great the place

was

unique i said the facial was great it wasn't you know

girl on i want like five keys i want it all okay those facials from those spas are enjoyable

but

They're they don't do anything.

They put on cream.

They take it off.

They put on extra washer face.

They take it off.

They put on a warm towelette.

They take it off.

They wash your face.

Yeah.

A hotel spa is not going to give you a gorgeous facial.

You need to go to like a med spa or like a real facial place.

But I also want like a massage, the luxury, some crystals.

They were doing like crystals.

Like I want that plus like a good fucking facial.

Yeah.

You know who you should ask?

Who?

Aside from hoping hydra facial rates.

No, I'm just hoping like a premiere.

That's why I brought it up.

I'm like, I just need someone to tell me like what's the best facial.

I'll go.

I just need to know where it is.

Okay, but if no one tells you you should ask skinny confidential oh that's actually such a good call i wonder always getting a glorious facial i wonder if she knows about dallas med spa i wonder but she definitely knows of a good place in new york which is like sad because you live there no like the way i'm about to book a flight to go get a facial at this place you have to go Okay, maybe we could go together one day.

We'll add it to the list of big dreams.

Oh, speaking of big dreams that came to fruition, Jackie and I finally saw Elvis.

Yes, you ain't nothing but a hound dog,

crying all the time.

Tell him, sis.

You ain't nothing but a hound dog.

Crying all the time.

Ay, ay.

Oh, you ain't never caught a rabbit.

You ain't no friend of mine.

Doo-doo.

Welcome to Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

I just discovered that the theme song for Diners, Drive-Is, and Dives is the very end of Hound Dog.

I'm Guy Fieri, and we're rolling out, taking you on America's greatest diners drivings and dives that are beautiful stunning and smart

and I have to say the movie is totally like living up to the hype.

It was really really good especially um Austin Butler.

I think Austin Butler was definitely living up to the hype um and I was surprised there wasn't a bigger conversation around the crime that was committed by Tom Hanks's presence in the film.

He was literally atrocious.

He made me almost want to stop watching, especially because he was just just as much of a main character as Elvis was.

And just conceptually, like the movie being told from his point of view, not my favorite stylistic choice.

I would have made different choices, but choices were made.

And Tom Hanks literally, he needs a break, like from acting.

I need a break from him.

He needs a break from the work because he's obviously lost his touch.

His accent as a Dutch person, I'm surprised there's not a petition going around Holland.

It was so fucking offensive.

God forbid they just get like an actual Dutch person because I think of all the accents, like Dutch is very difficult.

Like I get it.

Tom Hanks has neither the skill nor the talent that he thinks he possesses because that accent was giving like Halloween town.

It was so bad.

He was so bad.

And I think part of it was his character was like this moron.

So like.

You were set out to hate him already, but Tom Hanks did such a bad job.

I cannot believe that that is one of the most critically acclaimed actors of our time.

He's obviously lost his touch.

He is nothing of the sort.

He ruined the movie, dead ass.

And I just think he owes us all an apology.

Wow.

Hottest take yet.

And I don't even think it's hot.

I think everyone agrees.

Oh, I haven't seen any really reviews.

I actually, when I was Googling Elvis, the man after the movie, just because I loved the movie, I enjoyed it thoroughly, but it made me feel like I know nothing about Elvis because, I mean, I didn't know a lot about Elvis, but then you watch a biopic and you expect, like, okay, I got the gist.

I finished the movie and I was like, what happened with Elvis?

Like, I didn't feel like

they told like his story in a way that really made sense.

And a lot of things like didn't add up.

Whereas I'm sure in like real life, they added up.

Like for me, I didn't understand why he leaned so heavily on this.

big ugly loser colonel tom parker when he had like a really stable and loving home life like that's just typically not how it goes but clearly there was something about his home life that left him open to this vulnerability for this like big loser to take advantage of him completely

make him join the circus even though he already had upwards momentum in the music industry.

Like, that I'm sure in real life, like, obviously, it made sense.

That's what happened, but it didn't make sense to me as you know, a novice and a lay person.

It made me want to read like a biography about Elvis to get the actual facts, but it definitely spiked my curiosity in Elvis.

I'm just like, I know he's like the actual goat,

but I just feel like he's kind of underrated.

Okay, let me say this: my one and only true gripe with the film, like if I were to talk to Boz, Boz Luhrman,

a lot of things weren't adding up because my takeaway, if I had never heard of Elvis in my life, my takeaway would have been, oh, Elvis is a big fat loser.

Like he's a failure.

He sucks.

Nothing he did ever really like mounted to anything huge.

He had so many, like, so much momentum and like false starts.

So I, if you would have asked me if I never heard of him, I said, I don't think people would be talking about Elvis in the next 20, 30 years.

That was the takeaway from, like, the movies were good, but then they stunk.

The tour was almost great, but then he went back to Vegas.

So everything was just like failure, failure, failure.

And I'm sure, like anyone, Elvis's life was filled with highs, lows, you know, successes and failures.

But the movie just, and I think this was really supposed to be educating like a younger demographic on Elvis.

And I won't be surprised if the younger generation thinks Elvis was a big fat failure.

Yeah, and I would have thought that.

I mean, at the end, they do say he sold more solo units than anyone of all time Which is like I didn't get any of that from the movie anytime he was having success It was literally a 30-second montage until the next failure and I agree.

I'm like oh, so this guy never made it He literally never met left the country.

He just like stayed in Vegas and as he said he like was playing in a mausoleum every single night and it just made you think like this man lived and it was very sad and he was not very successful.

Plus then he needed $8 million.

He didn't have $8 million.

Did he never make $8 million?

How much did his dad actually spend?

What would he actually have been worth like did anybody ever realize that when he was getting a million dollars a year for a residency in vegas like and then he he could have been doing a million dollars per world tour but like was colonel tom parker right about the fact that those world tours would have cost so much like can someone just like tell us some facts yeah there was a lot of context missing especially as it pertained to like money

Yeah, and just numbers and success.

And it just seemed like, oh, Elvis had some momentum.

They shut him down.

They sent him to the army.

He came back, but he was sad.

And then he did movies, but the movies were lame.

I feel like they never really captured the magnitude of his success, like especially the movies.

The movies is the perfect example.

Like his early work, and yes, eventually he did so many movies, like then it was just a factory and they weren't.

But in the beginning, like there was a period where he was like the biggest movie star doing really serious acting roles.

Like they just glazed over the huge cultural impact he had when he had it.

and just jumped and I know that they were covering 42 years in the I know it was a lot.

And that's why it was a three-hour movie, but I still don't feel like they really accurately painted a picture of what his career was.

Yeah, I agree.

And like some of his movies, I don't know if they said it in the movie or I researched it after, but like Love Me Tender is a serious movie.

Like Viva Las Vegas, I know that movie.

Viva Las Vegas.

And I feel like he has so many more hits that he didn't sing.

And

I just felt like they missed the magnitude of Elvis.

but I loved the movie.

I'm having a renaissance with Elvis.

Hot.

Oh my God.

So hot.

Just so talented, so interesting.

Priscilla, oh my God, and she's from the society and I just love and I ship and like, and then all of a sudden they were so in love.

They were so rock solid.

We never saw him with another woman.

All of a sudden, he's kissing his fans.

He's fucking other girls and Priscilla's leaving and she knew about other girls.

Yes.

Like so much context was missing.

Yeah.

And it's like, did Elvis ever have another love?

Like, I don't know anything.

Such a good point.

And I loved that you really got to, oh, and

there were a couple things they didn't touch on.

One, like the fact that Priscilla was literally 14.

Whatever.

He was 24.

Let's not talk about that.

The other thing was like Elvis's Jewish roots.

Like they meant, they kind of alluded to it once at the beginning when they just showed him wearing a Jewish star.

But like Elvis was Jewish for safety.

You could be a Jew and believe in God.

Exactly.

In his childhood, he didn't,

wasn't publicly Jewish.

I think, you know, it wasn't a great time to be a Jew.

Is it ever?

And he was very proudly Jewish in his career.

None of that was spoken about.

So I just felt like they were like core pieces of his life

that were

just kind of glazed over.

Yeah, I agree.

Overall, so good.

Austin Butler is so good.

I don't even know that much about Elvis or watched him, but like the the silhouette of him, the mannerisms, like sometimes it really, and especially when it was far away, like it really looked like Elvis.

I do feel like in some scenes, they actually fused their faces together with some sort of CGI when it was further away.

But just like the shoulders, the walk, the costumes, it was, it was amazing.

It was really amazing.

And

it was nothing short of amazing.

It just.

then piqued my curiosity like now about Elvis.

So if anybody has any Elvis documentaries or books, it's just, I just need one.

I just want to understand more about the man.

And I just felt like his personality was missing too.

Like the movie made him seem like a big loser when he is literally like the coolest man on the planet.

Right.

He was obviously like extremely outspoken and principled, like especially when it came to like the Bobby Kennedy thing and the civil rights movement.

So he wasn't this like shy doormat.

Like he had a voice, but then when it came to the colonel, and maybe that's how it was, I just would have liked to understand more how he could have been both people, you know?

Yeah, and how he could be so under the colonel spell when it seemed like he was a you know a whole person, yeah.

And this guy's a literal like clown from the circus, oh gosh, clown from the circus,

and we said this while we were watching it.

But what the fuck was the snow and the snowman?

Snowman, the snowman and the showman.

Like, I guess, you know, Tom Parker made it snow and

did snow mean money they never

have no idea i thought rain was money seriously i really think tom hanks like he has more money than god he needs a serious break from acting he's obviously overworked he's losing his

losing it yeah the star quality i also think and i'm usually not one of these people who's like if the person doesn't look like the character they shouldn't play the character but the amount of prosthetics that they had to put on him to make him into, it was distracting.

No, and honestly, like he's, I'm like, at this current moment in time, he's not a skilled enough actor for the job.

Like, I'm sorry, he couldn't do the accent.

And you know who I kept thinking?

And he also, it doesn't come off evil.

Like, you can't, you, like, you can't be Andy from Toy Story.

and Forrest.

Like, he just doesn't have the range to be all of them.

There are some actors who are inherently evil.

Who's the guy?

You know, the guy, the Nazi.

christopher christoph waltz he should and he could do dutch i know and his german accent was perfect maybe he might be german actually i don't even know that's how good the accent was yeah tom hanks is too recognizable it just it was not a good call sorry not sorry

yeah i i agree with that i mean maybe the

They wanted you to like he should be this like affable guy that you think is you know in Elvis's corner That's probably how Elvis felt about him like this father figure.

And he's just not that.

He's nothing of the sort.

Whatever they were going for didn't work.

Austin Butler was incredible, deserves an Oscar nomination, perhaps the Oscar.

Tom Hanks deserves a Razzie.

I remember that.

And that's why the movie was so good, because it had both.

Range.

I also am officially all caught up on Real House Fides at Beverly Hills.

And starting this week, I will get back to the recaps.

I put up on my Instagram story my full thoughts because they're like, they required a lot of fleshing out.

So if you're interested in like a really detailed analysis of Beverly Hills feel free to go over to my Instagram story however

um what I will say is that I

I would take a bullet for Garcelle like I

am

like obsession doesn't even begin and you know who's really um I think becoming obsessed with Garcelle too like just drinking up her energy Andy Kathy Hilton.

Ooh.

And these two queens together, laughing about homeless, not toothless, was one of the highlights of my life.

Not laughing at the organization, just the name.

And Doreet was getting like so butthurt about everyone.

Just, they accidentally kept calling it Toothless, Not Homeless.

And, or no.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See, they were just having trouble.

Like, it was so funny.

And now, I think I read somewhere that, like, the

charity is being investigated for misappropriating funds, which is just great

for the community.

It was a boring episode, but it's just so crazy how Lisa Rinna, in a matter of like maybe a year, has turned into the biggest villain.

And it's clearly intentional.

She, I think, has started to use this show as like a marketing machine because this week was a Rinna Beauty event.

And she was being her unhinged self as usual

when it comes to something that she

is behind, you know, like her Rina Rose.

Now it's the Rinna Beauty.

It's giving like low budget everything Lisa Rinna does, aside from like her behavior on the show, where it actually just, she doesn't really, she's not acting like a good housewife anymore.

But for Beverly Hills, being this like really elite, rich, like all these events, she's throwing Rinna Beauty, Rinna Rose, like everything is just giving low budget energy.

Um, and it's giving real house size of Orange County energy.

And I just think the franchise is above a lot of this stuff.

I don't think there really is a place for Lisa Rinna any longer.

And honestly, kind of Erica, too, because Erica,

she used to be all that with the glamour, but also all that with the drama.

Yeah, and just the personality, like the confessionals, the one-liners.

Now her confessionals, her one-liners are so dark and like not kind of funny.

Her life isn't, doesn't have that glamour.

And like her only real contribution to the storyline is being mean to Sutton.

And that's kind of what everyone joins the show and they're like, I'm going to be mean to Sutton and think that it makes me interesting.

And I'm here to tell you that it doesn't actually.

It makes you look like a bully.

And honestly, I don't know how Sutton maintains her friendship with Kyle because the way that like everyone snaps at Sutton in an instant and says like low-key really fucked up shit and then moves on.

The way that no one defends Sutton except for Garcell and Garcelle gets shit on for defending her.

If that was me, if I was Sutton, I would cry at every single event.

Like even the smallest things that don't become storylines are so fucking mean.

Yeah.

I can't.

Like, and Sutton is no perfect housewife, but she's getting like the villain wrath.

Yeah, no, she's like a nice person.

She's just quirky.

She's just different and kind of weird, but there's so much injustice happening on Real Housewives at Beverly Hills.

It's making it like infuriating to watch.

Injustice can do that.

Yeah.

Injustice can do that.

So it's a little TV recap.

We've got a great show.

Five stories.

It was the weekend, so we got some juicy ones.

Yeah.

Then we have Unburden Yourselves, and they're quite,

quite shameful.

Are they quite onerous?

burdensome what's onerous mean burdensome they're quite burdensome you're gonna cringe especially from the last one yikes big yikes it's big yikes energy by e okay well i guess without further ado and without further talk about elvis it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast

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Thank you, McClurdia.

You're welcome.

Yeah, welcome.

Are you ready for our first story?

The big news of the weekend?

Love is in the air.

Ben Affleck and J-Lo got married this weekend with their big,

big wedding.

Their old Hollywood-themed wedding at his $8.9 million state in Georgia where guests enjoyed cigars and beautiful scenery.

She was wearing a Ralph Lauren gown.

Daily Mail has the intimate photos of the venue.

Also, there was a sign that said, Let me, Jennifer and Ben, baby, I love you, heart and soul, let's get loud.

Oh, I fucking love a reference to Let's Get Loud, the greatest song on earth.

Catch me at a bat mitzvah, like losing my mind to that song.

Something about Ben and Jen is extremely chugging.

Yeah.

They are giving chuggie energy.

And I love that for them.

I think it's like extremely appropriate, especially for J-Lo.

She definitely, like in her personal life, exudes choogie energy.

However, I have become so fatigued with these two.

Like I couldn't give less of a shit, except I do find it really interesting that you wore Ralph Lauren.

And I kind of think it's really appropriate because in a way, these two are like America's sweethearts.

Like, they were at one point.

You know, she's just a girl from the Bronx.

He's just a boy from Boston.

Like, they really are

that.

And they were when they were younger.

So I would have thought she would have worn.

I feel like she has a really good relationship with like Versace, obviously, because of the dress.

I feel like she did like a Valentino campaign.

I feel like she could have worn a lot of different designers.

And I'm sure anyone would have wanted to work with her.

And I never would have guessed Ralph Lauren.

But I don't know, it's Georgia.

Like,

it kind of makes sense.

Yeah, she also wore Ralph Lauren for the Vegas nuptials, that pretty dress.

So it's just a Ralph Lauren moment for her.

I agree.

It is kind of surprising.

I could see it being like for Sasha.

Imagine if she wore like the green dress, but in white.

Right.

Like for her.

But she doesn't have to party.

No, she doesn't want that.

She just wants classic, you know?

Yeah, because everything choogie.

She's like traditional.

Everything about this wedding is just like

Pinterest.

Yeah.

You know, you choose your aesthetic and that's what you get.

It's, they're not trying to be

different

or

too cool.

They're just like two people in love celebrating love.

What is more chuggy than getting married on a house that is plantation style?

Yeah.

That, I mean, come on.

Did we learn nothing from Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds?

Like,

but it's his house?

It's his house.

He tried to sell it a few years ago before

$8.9 million, but he didn't.

It's 87 acres.

And I guess it just became the perfect venue for for their love story and it was a plantation okay i say it's plantation inspired i think it's plantation inspired i don't know that it was ever like a plantation

that like i think we should be like you know like 42 like who would be glorifying a plantation like that's honestly fucking weird yeah

yikes it's a big yikes it's a big yikes and this will come back to haunt them It did Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.

It will J-Lo and Ben.

But I also feel like, even though I'm becoming so fatigued with these two, I also feel like there wasn't a lot of hoopla around this wedding.

They weren't releasing like People Magazine.

All the photos Daily Mail has is from some freak hanging from a helicopter.

Yeah, well, there was a no-fly zone over the wedding.

So like we really don't have wedding pictures.

Daily Mail has like pictures of the interior of the house.

It looks like pictures from when like the house was on the market.

When the house was on the market.

And like here are some of the pictures of the basement.

No, it's giving realtor.com.

Yeah, they really don't have, and Daily Mail is the only place that has pictures.

Like every other publication just has like red carpet photos of Ben and Jen.

I feel like in a few days we will get the real photos at On the J-Lo newsletter.

Oh, you don't think it's going to be a Vogue exclusive?

No, I really I think it's going to be an On the J-Lo exclusive and you should subscribe.

Okay, hold on.

Because I unsubscribe.

She's constantly subscribing in and out of On the J-Lo.

So when she put the announcement on, okay, on the J-Lo, I subscribed when she put the engagement announcement.

Then I'm like, wait, I missed the engagement announcement.

So then I unsubscribed.

Now let me resubscribe on the J-Lo.

She's got great SEO.

She comes up first.

Let me put in my email.

So you'll be the first to know.

Somebody like never checked my email.

I'm all signed up.

Check your email for regular updates on news, special experiences, exclusive content, and more from J-Lo.

Will do.

We need that exclusive content today.

Also, notably, your favorite person in the world, Casey Affleck, wasn't there, Ben's brother.

Why is he my favorite person in the world?

Because you love the lobster.

He was in the lobster.

Right?

Let me tell you, if Casey Affleck came and farted in my mouth, I would have no fucking idea who he was.

Like, he gets talked about like just as much as Ben, mostly because he's like a controversial freak.

But

when I tell you I'm sorry to this man, I have no clue what he looks like.

Was he in the lobster?

No.

Oh.

Who was in the lobster?

I feel like it was Russell Crowe.

Colin Farrell.

Same thing.

Literally same thing.

I'm like, I'm crying.

I don't know why I thought he was.

I'm like, please don't slander my name.

Casey Avleck has been accused of horrendous things.

He's not my favorite person.

Claudia loves Casey.

He's just like one of those guys for her.

Shut up.

Can't quit him.

Jackie, please stop lying.

Anyways, he wasn't there, which is weird.

They're brothers.

Are they even close?

I think so, but he posted on his Instagram.

Apparently, like parental obligations kept him at home, which is very possible.

But he posted in Instagram a throwback picture of himself and Jen saying good things are worth waiting for.

Here's to twists and turns, new beginnings, and finding new reservoirs of old love.

That's actually kind of sweet.

Welcome to the family.

Get ready for some real dysfunction.

Kidding.

I am kidding.

Jen, you are a gem.

We love you so much, red heart emoji.

Okay, so you're telling me Casey Flack couldn't find a babysitter.

I'm telling you, J-Lo told him to stay home, like for real.

Because of like his.

He's like radioactive.

He's been accused of like horrible things, doing horrible things to women.

I'm sure J-Lo's like, get the fuck, like, get the fuck away.

Hold on.

Stay away from this plantation.

We have our own problems over here.

Casey Affleck scandal.

Yeah, sorry.

I know that there's a big one and I don't remember what it is.

That's why I keep being vague.

He was accused of sexual misconduct on the set of his mockumentary back in 2010.

Two women sued the actor for sexual harassment.

Like I said.

From the set of that.

Got it.

So

I always forget that they're related.

I always thought for, but for a while, I thought it was just a coincidence that they both had the name Affleck.

Yeah.

But I guess it's not a coincidence.

There can only be one afflect in this town.

They don't look alike.

No, not at all.

Whatever the reason he didn't show up, I'm sure J-Lo is extremely grateful whether she had something to do with it or not.

Yeah, for sure.

It would have just overshadowed.

the whole thing.

Oh, I don't.

No, I think honestly the fact that he's not there kind of not overshadows whatsoever, but it's like a whole other article.

where was casey apleck um right i don't think she cared either way what celebrities you think were there i was singing that this morning matt damon for sure yes leah remini for sure

yes her friendship with j-lo is like my favorite thing it's her favorite thing too she's always posting about it on social media i would do the same if j-lo was my best friend did you watch j-lo's documentary

so i don't know like her other close friends because she's like friendly with kim but i don't think close enough for this what seems relatively relatively intimate wedding.

Yeah, it was giving friends and family.

Yeah, but it was like 400K was a big, actually, that's what Daily Mail says, but I feel like it was more.

Just some security alone.

Celebrity.

Yeah.

Security, right?

Well, they didn't have to pay for the venue.

Or the dress, probably.

Yeah, they probably got a lot of free tings.

Chewie.

Also, story one, subset B in wedding news, Sarah Highland and Wells Adams got married this weekend.

The cast of Modern Family showed up and showed out.

They were married at Sunstone Winery near Santa Barbara, California on Saturday.

Which bachelor peeps were there?

I saw Sophia Vergara, Julie Bowen, like the whole crew was there from Modern Family.

So just tell me if Sophia Vergara was like with, you know, Chase McNary.

Like who was there, you know?

I don't know which bachelor people were there.

It's like not in the article.

And I haven't, I didn't see anything from Bachelor Nation.

I only saw from modern family socials.

Yeah, me too, by the way.

That's how I knew they got married.

I saw Selphie of like the crew.

Yeah.

No, but I need to know if Sophie of Eggari was at a table with Chase McNary.

You know, like, that's just like what I find in cadassant crying about these two as a couple.

They have been together, engaged, forever.

Forever.

Three years.

A three-year engagement.

But I don't think at any point people were like, are they, or aren't they?

I think just like they were really COVID couple.

Yeah.

And they waited till they could do it really big.

And I'm really happy for them that they're married.

I'm happy for them too.

I think it's cute.

Love to see people from Bachelor Nation moving on up in this world.

And I'm wishing them a lifetime of happiness.

Me as well, but I do need to know which bachelor people were there.

I feel like there were not a lot, like just the closest of friends.

Like, Wells is pretty good friends with Nick Vile, right?

Oh, good question.

And what about Chris Harrison?

Interesting.

I guess they'll do a people exclusive, you know?

Oh, for sure.

I'll keep your people notifications.

Turn them back on.

Oh, my God.

I can't with their notifications.

I know.

You couldn't take one more breaking news recipe from the back of your.

No, and they're always throwing Queen Elizabeth's name into a breaking news thing.

You can't do that to people.

Yeah, because they want you to like, oh my God, and then tap it and realize, no, she's not dead.

She just doesn't have the same color hunter boots as Jennifer Garner.

So sick.

Taking advantage of our time.

Also, Jennifer Gardner was spotted out marketing this weekend.

Good for her.

I feel like she is an unbothered queen, honestly.

Like, I think the end of her marriage with Ben Affleck was so horrendous.

I think she had a boyfriend, like, while he was, you know, out getting help and their marriage was ending.

And I think all she wanted was for it to be over so she could be with her mans.

I think she's bothered.

Maybe there's like a little bit of a bunch of people because it's only bothered because it's J-Lo.

If it were any other person on the planet, unbothered.

But he chose the one person that could hurt her.

No, not even hurt her.

Does that invalidate their whole relationship?

No.

But what you could think that it does if you're spiraling, you know?

Yeah.

I think she's bothered, but she,

her image is very

premium.

Premium.

So she's not going to show herself being bothered whatsoever.

No, she is like a tier of celebrity.

Very successful acting career behind her.

She gives mogul energy now.

I know she's like an investor in a lot of those like mom brands that are organic, you know, grass-fed, bottle-fed things.

Well, I got to check it out.

But also, she's just adored.

And her brand is very smiley, happy, lovey.

And, you know, being bothered by her ex's new relationship is not on brand.

So

we'll never get

any sort of indication, but how could you not be?

You know, she's from an era of movies like rom-coms, things like that, um,

that

remind me of Jessica Beale.

And I feel like if somebody doesn't say Jessica Beal's name every six months, I will forget that she is alive.

Yeah.

Where is she?

I don't know.

I don't know if she like works a lot or maybe she's just being a mom.

Yeah.

It just makes you think.

I literally forget she exists like once a week.

No, like once a month.

I guess she is similar to Jessica Gardner.

Like that time.

But Jessica Gardner kind of also reminds me of like Sandra Bullock,

who reminds me of Julia Roberts.

No, Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts, I think, are like a...

They have been nominated for Oscars, you know?

Jennifer Gardner, Jessica Beale.

Like they were in that like rom-com type of.

Would you say Cameron Diaz?

No, she's in a league of her own.

I agree.

I fucking love that woman.

I really do.

Yeah.

Does she have a book?

She needs a book.

That's a memoir I would read.

She needs a book.

When I think of Cameron Diaz, I think of Catherine Heigl.

Okay.

They were both, they were both in that rom-com scene, but the books.

No queen have it.

But Cameron Diaz was before Catherine Heigl.

Yes, but I think in terms of similar careers.

Yeah.

I agree.

The highest paid actresses for a long period of time without being at the Oscars.

Yep.

But their movies have a lasting impact on our culture.

And on our hearts and minds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, so that's all the wedding news from the weekend.

Are you ready for our next story?

Switching gears.

Yes, ma'am.

Scott Disick's Lamborghini SUV flips over in a terrifying single car crash.

Scott Disick's Lamborghini SUV flipped over in a car crash on Sunday.

The talentless founder sustained a minor cut to his head, TMZ reported.

That doesn't sound good.

The talentless founder.

Well,

the founder is a good title.

Yeah, but it sounds like he's a founder with no talent, not the founder of a company called Talentless.

Capital T makes all the difference.

That's why capitalization is everything, kids.

That's why grammar is important.

Conjunction junction.

What's your function?

Ooh, Claudia, it's a little early for these sensual sounds.

Oh, yeah, take your top off.

A junction.

Conjunction.

Conjunction.

Conjunction.

You know who would have sounded so good singing Conjunction?

You ain't nothing but a

dog.

Playa.

Big Mama Thornton.

I get it.

Fraud, not frog.

Playa.

I get it.

I will continue to sing frog.

Yeah, frog is really fun.

But anyways, Elvis would have murdered Conjunction Junction.

100%.

Literally at the international.

No, not Elvis.

Elvis.

Oh, I was saying Big Mama Thornton.

Oh,

I was think Elvis, but they both would have killed it.

Killed it.

Conjunction junction.

What's your function?

Anyways, Scott Disick sustained a minor cut to his head, but refused medical attention at the scene of the accident in L.A.

The wreck involved only his car with a source telling the site that speed appeared to have played a role in the flip.

Photos obtained by TMZ show his Lamborghini on its side just a few feet away from a destroyed stone mailbox in a Ritzy neighborhood.

The single car crash occurred around 3 p.m.

Pacific in Calabasas and no arrests were made as a result.

A source told the outlet that Scott did not seem impaired at the scene.

He did not receive a ticket or citation of any kind and he has not publicly commented on the incident.

Is this giving like a little nefariousness?

A little, just like a little bit speed racer.

Right, three o'clock in a residential neighborhood, broad daylight.

What the fuck are you speeding for?

What the fuck are you doing?

Right.

Especially like, because a lot of this sounds like an h like driving in a residential neighborhood in the middle of the day going too fast not i like no it doesn't sound apples to apples because like she crashed no but like a lot of the details are reminiscent yeah and you would think like after that just happened everyone would be on like high alert yeah i don't know what the fuck he's doing but it's got no he should stop it and he just has like a nefarious nature to him Yeah.

At least it was only like one car involved.

I mean, I hope like he's okay and it sounds like he's fine.

And if he wasn't speeding or doing anything, then it sounds like he could have a lawsuit on his hands.

Right.

With from Lamborghini.

Well, also,

that's just the weird thing about car crashes like this, how like you can, like a car can be flipped and the person can get out totally unscathed or dead.

Yeah.

It's so weird.

Yeah, I just saw a headline this morning about like this family, the parents died, their Ford F-150 flipped over and the the roof of it crunched like as if they were they might as well have been in a convertible and they were awarded 1.7 billion dollars by Ford that's why I'm saying as they should this could be a lawsuit if the car malfunctioned right right

no but that's like Ben's friend Pete was in an accident you should have seen the car Jackie was completely totaled he's fine it's crazy It's like, how is it so one or the other?

The parents were killed in that Ford F-150.

Right, right.

That's why it's so important to wear a seatbelt, honestly.

Yeah.

Well, I'm hoping Scott's okay, but if he declined medical attention, hopefully he's fine.

Yeah, totally.

Are you ready for our next story, which is so crazy considering the news of last week?

Well, not so, I mean, I don't want to overhype it.

It's just interesting.

Okay.

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So

love is, Love is dead, you guys, because Love is Blind star Dingielle Rule filed for a divorce from Nick Thompson.

So Dingelle and Nick from season two of Love is Blind were the other couple that got married this season.

We were just talking about the first couple to announce their divorce last week, Ayanna and Jarrett.

And we said like, oh, Dingiella and Nick are still going strong and they probably always will.

But then they, she filed for a divorce.

And I just feel like each couple didn't want to be the first.

And Dingella Nick held out as long as they could.

And then when Ayana and Jarrett pulled the plug, they were like, great.

Now, you know, we weren't the first.

I think that the show makes you stay married for a decent amount of time, maybe a year.

And that

like time restriction recently came up.

And that's why we're hearing about both divorces in the span of one week.

You really think that they can make them stay married?

No, but I think that they can force them not to announce that they've gotten married until a certain amount of time has passed.

Okay, interesting.

So you think that all these couples broke up like a while ago?

On their own timelines, but I don't think that they've been married up until last week.

In a romantic sense, at least.

Wow,

conspiracy.

Maybe legally they have been married.

But separated.

Living totally separate lives.

You know what?

I feel like Danielle, Nick, Ayana, Jarrett, since they are reality stars, they were, you know, once regular people.

And I feel like they have like friends out there.

Like, if anyone knows why these couples split up, can you let me know?

I'm just curious.

Because like, we, I feel like we really got to know that, we really get to know them as much as you possibly can on a reality show.

You see, like, the good, the bad, the ugly of their relationships.

And I did feel like these two couples, even though I could tell you what their issues were, you know, like he's this way, she's this way, we're different, but opposites attract and they worked through it.

And I just like want to know at the end of the day, what came between them?

What was it?

Was it, was it the dancing on tables?

Was it the costumes in the apartment?

The thing is, is that I agree with what you're saying as it pertains to Nick and Danielle.

I don't think that Jared and Aana were ever really a good match.

Yeah, but I think that they just really liked each other.

But sometimes you have to ask yourself, is love enough?

That should be.

Is love blind?

That should be the next show.

Like love is blind.

We're questioning whether or not love is blind.

Love is enough.

Yeah.

Love is blind, but is it enough?

No, sometimes it's not.

Like, that's what happens when you, you know, fall in love with someone in this like vacuum.

Fake vacuum, right?

And then you go back to real life and it's like, we got bills to pay.

We have things to do.

That happens on the bachelor all the time.

It's easy to fall in love with someone living in a mansion someone else is paying for.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But then schedules and families, like life relationships are hard.

So it's easy to have like an attraction to someone and have a relationship flourish in a world with no real consequences.

But then you go back to your smelly apartment and shit's not the same.

Yeah,

especially when the apartment is smelly.

Of course.

And with Nick and Danielle, like I did find this genuinely shocking.

And if I had to guess, just based on what I know about them,

why their relationship ended.

I would have to assume it has a lot to do with Danielle because Nick was like all in, accepted her for who she was, and she just like could not believe that somebody wanted to marry her and loved her.

Yeah.

And she was like self-sabotaging.

She was.

But he was a little,

hmm.

I don't know.

I have to go back and watch, but I just felt like he was a little particular.

I do feel like this definitely kind of chips at the credibility of the show.

That was my next question because we're two for two on season one.

We're 0 for 2 on season 2.

Does that mean we're neutral and love is blind is, you know, equally as successful as it is unsuccessful?

I don't know.

Like the thing that really kind of set it apart from all these other shows, even shows on Netflix, The Bachelor, Love Island, is that the first round, like we got two really strong marriages.

And by the way, even if one of those couples from season one now would get divorced, I would still consider it a success.

Yes, I agree.

But I do feel like these two, but you know what?

There was a lot going on in the world at that time.

COVID changed a lot of things for a lot of people.

maybe i can consider it a blank slight maybe i need one more season to make my decision i agree fool me twice shame on me right

yeah we shall see we shall

see we shall

see we shall thank you claudia also love is officially dead with our next story i just want everyone to

prepare for this terrible news that Olivia Giannuli and Jacob Alorty have broken up.

I know.

Olivia Jade Giannuly and Jacob Alorty have reportedly called it quits after a few months of enjoying each other's company and being like so cute and candid in his sweatshirts and in his socks.

The pair enjoyed spending time together, says a source, but ultimately didn't want to be tied down to one another.

Olivia is now single and having fun, quote, and quote, living it up with her friends, while Euphoria's star Jacob Alorty is, quote, completely focused on continuing to build his acting career.

Quote, he's not looking for a serious relationship at the moment, moment, but he added that the couple hung out earlier this summer and are not currently dating.

So I feel like

you don't have to delegitimize the whole relationship just because you guys broke up, and now you need to be like, We were never dating.

Like, do you understand this for some of us?

This is all we had.

Like, for some of us, this is life or death.

Yeah, like, you don't have to shit all over it.

Okay, it didn't work out.

Don't say like it was never that serious.

Yeah, throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Even if that's true, like, I don't think there was one person out there who wasn't like here for this relationship.

So just let us live the dream still.

Let me just say this.

Even though I loved the two of them together, the vibes that I get from Jacob Alordi is that he's like really serious and like is obsessed with acting and art and like kind of boring for someone so hot.

Yeah, it's like annoying.

So

in a way, while these two were so perfectly matched in terms of like looks and also like

careers and vibes.

I think on a personality level, like I think Olivia Jade is a good time gal.

I think she's really fun, funny.

And I think he's like takes himself really seriously, almost to a fault.

Like I could see him just like going to the movies, you know, on a date and like crying after

bringing a notebook and a pen.

Yeah, like he's kind of like a downer, but I think he will have a very long, illustrious career.

But I think, I think he's probably not like the most fun person on the planet to date.

Like, I don't think he goes out to clubs.

I've actually never seen him at a party.

Like, yeah, I agree with him.

A restaurant.

I think Olivia's like living life and you know, he's focused focused on his craft.

And that's like, is love enough?

Is being so good looking and suited for one another and cute enough?

Like, no, not if you have different interests.

Not if you have different priorities.

No, but I do think this relationship was great because it brought Olivia Jade like into this young Hollywood kind of social circle.

And I'm very, I'm excited.

I'm thrilled.

I'm overjoyed to see where this journey will take her.

Who will she date next?

Like, of course, Austin Butler comes to mind because Kaya Gerber of it all used to date Jacob, now dates Austin.

There's just this kind of pool of very young, very good-looking, very successful.

I would throw like Zendaya in there, like really

a fabulous colour.

But she's wiped up, but I hear what you're saying, yes.

But she used to like was spotted with Jacob Alorde.

Like they're all kind of connected.

And now Olivia is in that career.

And I think it's very exciting for her potential new suitors.

And I'm excited to see.

I'm going to add her to the list.

I'm going to add Jacob to the list.

And let's see if there's anyone on there that we already think would be good for her and age appropriate because I believe she's about 23.

Chris Evans,

too old.

Sean Mendez, done.

Done.

Signed, seal, delivered.

That is cute.

That is cute.

And age appropriate.

I think he's like 28, 29.

Yeah.

Great.

Maybe Jacob Alardi and oh no, Addison Ray is like in a really serious relationship.

I don't know why she's on this list.

Yeah, that's a good call.

I just love her.

I want to put her on every list.

Me too.

And like, I'm really feeling for her.

I know you're not like totally abreast on what's going on, but her father needs to.

He's continuing to make waves.

And he was just recently, I saw a picture of him making out with this girl.

And she's like this influencer.

Her name is Ava Louise.

She like was the one who licked the toilet bowl at the start of COVID, remember?

Okay.

She's also the one who like made up the rumors about Kanye West and

Jeffree Star.

Like she's like a professional troll and she's has had like public beef with Addison.

She's like kind of like, I think bullied Addison online And now her dad is like making out with her.

Like he's

after she licked a toy, after she licked the toilet.

I could vomit.

No, he's really like being a complete disgrace.

And

I think everyone has always had a weird feeling about him, the way he kind of

rode his daughter's coattails, like under the guise of protecting her.

Like, yeah, I'm going to move to LA with you to protect you from this.

It's very Colonel Tom Parker.

Yeah.

I wouldn't be surprised if he was stealing from her, honestly.

Yeah, for, for sure.

i just i love addison i miss her and she's having an amazing time in italy it looks like i hope that i saw she was in tel aviv

no way i think her boyfriend because then i was thinking why is she in tel avive her boyfriend's name is like omar or omer which kind of gives like israeli vibes maybe he's israeli is omer so he's was the drummer for

mgk or travis i have literally no idea who this man is okay no he's a not a drummer sorry but he's in the band with one of them no clue but they're on tour

And Omer's in Italy and Tel Aviv with Addison.

I have no idea.

Makes you think.

Okay, well,

thinking of Olivia, Jaden, Jacob Belarty.

Oh, and I just wanted to go on a tangent because it reminded me, just talking about like prominent young male actors.

When after we watched Elvis, we were doing some more deep dives and I was reading articles about all the people who were up for the role.

Obviously, we know Harry Styles really wanted the part.

Boz was like, no, it's Austin.

You're too Harry for this role.

But also who auditioned for the role and was close to getting it was Miles Teller

and Ansel Elgort.

And even though Austin Butler was perfection and the role was meant for him and it was meant to be his, like, I do think Miles Teller would have done an incredib job.

Does Miles sing?

I could see him say, carrying a tune.

I could see it.

Okay, because I think that's important.

And that was like a fun fact about Austin Butler that I didn't know.

And the thing, let me tell you why Austin Butler was perfect for it.

And the only reason I don't know if Miles would have been good for it.

Part of the reason why Austin Butler was so good is one, because to most people, he's a nobody.

So his face was totally unrecognizable and you could really see him as Elvis.

Miles is the biggest movie star in the world currently.

Secondly, Austin Butler had literally nothing going on.

He was able to study Elvis for three years because he was pretty much an out-of-work actor.

Miles Teller is booked, busy on the books.

He couldn't just like be a recluse and he has like a wife and a family.

Like he couldn't just, you know,

fall off the face of the earth for three years to study all of Elvis' hand gestures and facial mannerisms.

Only someone with no life could have done that, like Austin Butler.

And now it paid off for him in spades and he will have a life moving forward.

He's got a girlfriend.

He's got all these things now.

But before that, he was like a nobody with no life and it was perfect.

That is a very good point.

I agree.

I just, I actually think that if you did them all up, Miles Teller actually looks more like Elvis than Austin Butler.

But that's fine.

And also, I'm sure at the time, like Miles was bummed to lose the role.

I imagine, you know, it's the role a million girls would kill for.

But.

I think at the same time that this was being shot, so was Top Gun Maverick because they're out around the same time.

And like, Miles was meant to be on the beach in Top Gun Maverick.

So I'm sure now he's like, everything happens for a reason.

Like, I was meant for this.

But it's nice for Miles to know that no matter how it went, like, he was going to be topping the box office charts no matter what.

Yeah, no, it's nice to see everyone got what they wanted.

Yeah, because it's the one they got.

Good, because it's the one you got.

Yeah.

Also, do you remember?

Do you remember when Austin Butler was in Australia in the beginning of filming this movie?

He had just broken up with Vanessa Hudgens, and then he was spotted, like.

canoodling with Olivia DeGonge, who is Priscilla in the movie.

And she's also from the society.

She, spoiler alert, makes the poison pie.

And I don't know if I realized at the time that she was going to to be Priscilla.

And like, so they were actually

getting romantic while they were filming, which I think gives the movie even an extra of a gene sequence.

But of course, if Austin Butler is method acting, he has to romance Priscilla.

Wait, can I tell, so true, by the way, can I tell you who also popped into my mind is like a potential

good, like, maybe at a certain point in time, he would have been good.

I don't think he's tall enough.

But I think like,

maybe like if the movie had been made five or six years ago, Zach Efron would have been a great,

he's so musically talented.

He's such a good dancer.

And he can carry a franchise.

Now I think he might have aged out of being like a good candidate, but he definitely comes to mind as someone who his name was definitely like tossed in for even a brief moment.

I

love Zach Efron.

Like I always have.

The more time that passes, I love him more and more.

I love his projects.

I love his career.

He doesn't have Elvis' build.

And for that reason, like, I don't think I could see it.

But I just watched trailer for the new movie he has coming out called The Greatest Beer Run Ever.

Yeah.

And it looks so good.

And I just love Zach Efron.

I love Zach Ephron too.

He's so talented.

And this movie looks so good.

I can't wait to see it.

He's a PJOM of all PJOMs.

And I have nothing but respect for him, especially after what he did with Greatest Showman.

Yeah.

I just love him.

I could talk about him all day.

No, me too.

Maybe we should do a Patreon episode all about Zach Efron.

I would love that.

I would love it because I just need to be reminded of all of his good work.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

That's like really crazy.

Okay.

Aubrey O'Day has been accused of photoshopping herself into influencer

disbelief with this story.

I saw it on TikTok.

Somebody had all the side-by-sides of Aubrey's Instagram versus like the pictures she allegedly photoshopped herself into.

I'm obsessed.

Yes.

Also obsessed with this leading line from page six.

Another O'Day, another Photoshop scandal involving Aubrey O'Day.

That's funny.

So a little over a year ago, the former Dad and McKane member announced she was leaving the U.S.

to start a new life abroad.

She found herself in some hot water for flooding her newly private Instagram feed with allegedly altered vacation photos.

The pictures in question, which began occupying space on the singer's grid immediately after her July 2020 move, show the blonde bombshell posing seductively on unbelievably perfect beaches, wearing body-clinging cut-out clothing in lush rainforests and holding vigorous yoga poses on top of picturesque rocks.

According to Oday's geotags, almost all of the images were taken in Bali.

However, social media users aren't buying it.

A TikTok user whose name is Sophie believes the pop star went on this vacation around Bali just by just photoshopping.

herself into pictures.

It's truly like every single picture Sophie noted as several of O'Day's posts flashed across the screen.

I don't even know if she went to Indonesia like at all.

If you look at the pictures, they're perfect photos and then Aubrey is copy and pasted onto the photo.

They are so photoshopped.

Like obviously they're edited if she even is on a swing in Bali, but it really looks like she's not.

The lighting is so off and these like from the picture of her to the background picture like she's not there.

Where the fuck is Aubrey O'Day?

It is unclear if she ever actually made it to the airport to go to Bali because she did not take these pictures herself.

They are all photoshopped.

Like it's like Google images and then just like Canva Pro put Aubrey in Bali.

And this is like one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a celebrity.

Do you remember when Shea Mitchell got called out?

And for me, like Shea Mitchell has accomplished so much.

I think base, her travel line is so successful.

The stuff is so cute.

But I will always remember that one thing about her.

It's like the most embarrassing thing that a celebrity can be accused of.

Yeah.

I think there's two social media faux pas.

One, taking a picture from Google Images or from another influencer and like passing it off.

as, you know, your own.

There's a difference between like, yes, you're posting to be like inspo,

I love this vibe.

Like, and then, you know, obviously, but acting as if that's where you are when you're not and you're just like homesitting on your couch is yikes.

And also, I forgot who it it was who did this when it's like you're on a commercial plane, but you're like pretending like it's private.

Oh, bow wow.

I remember that too.

See, those things stick with you because it's so embarrassing.

It's mortification at its finest.

But the thing is with Aubrey O'Day, like,

I don't think her brand is going to suffer that much because I don't think her brand is that

special.

Yeah, no, I think it's fine.

Honestly, it's great that she's in the news, I think.

It's hilarious.

What What compounds this story are the captions.

Here's a quote from her in front of a green screen.

I believe if we embrace complexity and its layered conflicting existence, we become more free.

Free from manipulation, free from needing to control others' behaviors to make us happy, free from the stories we make up to explain the things that do not come simply.

Most of the time, there's no clear answer.

Here, wait.

Clarity is in the complexity.

Put that on Canva Pro.

The quicker you desire and embrace this idea of clarity versus viewing it as a singular destination, the closer you will get to flowing in your natural current.

Okay, so

when you look up word salad in the dictionary, this is it.

Like that's just a bunch of words put together that mean zilch, zero, nada.

100%.

Like these are like celebrity buzzwords.

Like

piece complex construct layer.

The closer you will get to flowing in your natural current.

The fuck does that mean?

Seriously?

I don't know, but I want to flow in my natural current.

You know what I think I'm going to do this weekend?

Flow in my nursing current.

Flow in my natural current.

Yeah.

I love that for you.

I think you'll really find clarity in the complexity.

Anyways, Aubrey's going to be a very good thing.

This is so embarrassing.

Wherever you are, Aubrey, I thank you for the joy that this story has brought.

Where in the world is Aubrey O'Day?

Literally, like, did she ever go to Bali?

This off-the-grid life.

If she went to Bali, she would at least have her own photos of Bali that she could put herself into.

That's something.

But when people can find, you know, the original photo, the influencer who you super imposed yourself over.

Like, this is a whole new level.

It's just so unreal.

And it's so dumb because she's geotagging the locations that these other influencers have posted at.

So it's really not hard for people to find the original photo that she copied.

Yeah, I'm surprised no one put this together sooner.

Like, I guess there's some.

I think people wake up every day and think about Abrio Devil.

No, but like like if some, like if Kim Kardashian posted one of these pictures, people would be like, girl, you photo, like she can't even post a picture and swap out stormy for true.

And people like it will match up the outfits and they're like, the lighting on this one is off.

Like she wasn't actually there and they were right.

You know, if she really superimposed herself into a destination, she was not up.

But.

Well, that's the difference between Aubrey O'Day and Kim Kardashian.

Seriously, like nobody cares about Aubrey O'Day.

And that's why it took weeks for people to realize she never went to Bali and all of her photos were fake.

But it's like over a year.

It has started in June 2021.

Okay.

So like that's further proof of how irrelevant she is.

Honestly.

And that's, that's really sad, honestly.

That makes me sad.

Maybe it was, if I was Aubrey, this is how I'd play this.

If Aubrey's PR is listening, like I wanted to see like how, I wanted to show how fake social media is.

And it from the pictures to the caption is fake too.

And nobody called it out for over a year.

And that's on you guys.

And you guys are fools.

Yeah.

And she'll say, like, I've actually been filming this whole thing for a documentary.

And the the documentary never comes out, but like, nobody remembers.

It was a social experiment.

Right.

You're welcome.

So those are the fast five.

It is Monday, which means we're doing Unburden Yourselves, which is our Monday segment where people write in embarrassing things that happened to them in the last week.

And we just kind of help alleviate that burden.

We're going to take it on for you and you can officially set it free.

So anything from work to friends, anything you can write into unburden yourselves

at gmail.com.

It's unburdenyourselves at gmail.com.

I don't know if they understand.

It's unburden yourselves.

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All right, ready to unburden some peeps?

Ready.

Hello, Jackson Claude.

A few weeks ago, I took the bar exam.

The testing center was far away from my house, so I had to stay in a hotel.

The whole two days were really stressful and overwhelming, to say the least.

At the end of the day, I went to go get dinner and went back to my room.

I was looking at my phone, so I didn't pay attention to where the elevator got left me off.

So I went to what I thought was my room and I tried to use my room key.

It didn't work, and instead, a woman opened the door and looked at me confused.

If it was any other normal time, I would have apologized and realized that I was on the wrong floor.

But because I was so unwell from the stress of the bar exam, I thought that she was in my room.

I legitimately argued with her that she was in my room.

She said she wasn't and shut the door, to which I knocked again and again and told her she was in my fucking room.

She then closed the door on me and I heard her say to someone in the room, some girl thinks this is her room.

What the fuck?

Eventually, someone waiting for the elevator nearby overheard, asked if I needed help, and then explained what floor I was on.

I was so embarrassed, and I cannot stop thinking about it.

Here's the thing, why you don't need to feel any sort of like stress about this.

You'll literally never see this woman again.

That's why hotels are great.

You know,

everyone is just a stranger passing in the night.

Literally, you'll never see this woman again.

Don't think two thoughts of it.

But you've also gifted this woman.

Like everyone has a funny story about a hotel.

Like Ben one time at a wedding, there was another guest at the wedding named Ben Soffer, but spelled S-O-F-E-R.

We were all staying at the same hotel.

Ben's flight was delayed.

We're all at the Shabbat dinner for the wedding.

Ben goes into Ben and Mira Soffer's room, takes a shower,

gets out of the shower, goes into the bathroom, on the counter, it's like all these cosmetics, but like for like an older woman, they're an older couple.

And Ben knows like my makeup.

I have the same kind of pouches that I bring with me.

And it's at that point that he realizes naked while in this other person's bathroom that he's in the wrong room.

Thankfully, we were all at the Shabbat dinner and nobody saw it.

And by the way, anytime we were at the meet and greet in Florida, someone came up, they were like, oh, my cousin, Ben and Mira Safer.

Like, they know

the story.

You know, they think it's so funny.

Everyone has a hotel story that like is their drip, like their dinner table story.

Yeah.

So you gave them that.

They should be grateful.

You'll never see them again.

No harm, no foul.

No harm, no foul.

Like, yeah, if it were me, I would think back on it and cringe.

Like, you really thought you were so right.

And it's just funny.

Like, you weren't, but it's really not a big deal.

It's not like you did anything.

Horrible.

Aside from arguing, you know, insisting it's your room.

It's not like you barged in, you know, whatever.

I think it's totally fine.

It's just really funny.

And congrats on taking the bar.

Like, yeah.

Don't let that, you know, awkward moment override this huge success in your life.

Mazeltov.

Mazeltov.

That's what we should be saying.

Mazel.

Mazzov.

There is nothing wrong with that.

Like, it's totally fine.

It's just like an awkward thing.

It's funny.

All right, second up.

Hello, Jackson Claude.

Hey.

I am mortified and I need to unmurden.

Last week in a small group meeting, I had to share my screen to review some content.

Uh-oh.

Whenever I shut it, I literally am shuddering.

Screen sharing is so horrible.

Whenever I share my screen, I'm always sure to only share a specific browser or application instead of the whole screen for privacy purposes.

During the meeting, I messaged my coworker to vent about someone in the meeting.

While unbeknownst to me, I was sharing my entire screen and the person and everyone else in the meeting saw the whole conversation.

The worst part was that I was bitching about the person multitasking while I was speaking while I was clearly doing the same thing.

The person I was venting about pulled me aside after the meeting to discuss what they saw and was extremely kind and reasonable about the situation.

Nothing extremely nefarious was said, and I apologize profusely, but I still want to crawl into a hole and die.

Oops.

In these situations, you have to think about how much worse it could have been.

You could have said, this fucking ugly wench and her disgusting, smelly breath, like the things you really think of her.

Thank God you were only complaining about like something kind of like.

You felt disrespected.

Yes, it could have been so much worse.

And honestly, if it was any worse, like you actually would have to leave the company.

This is, that would be so horrible.

I'm in so much pain.

But you know what?

You were just like

being like a workplace Karen.

Like she's multicast, whatever.

It's fine.

It's not a big deal.

It's fine.

It could have been worse.

And I just need, we all need to use this as an opportunity to learn from this.

Because if you're listening to this episode, like this cannot happen to anyone ever again.

Let us, it won't be a mistake if.

the hundreds of thousands of millions of people listening right now learn from this and we all double check when we're we're sharing our screens yeah and when our screen is being shared like don't be doing any anything no even if even if you only shared chrome yep you should make sure that email message slack everything is shut down until your share is off yeah no don't do anything that you wouldn't share don't do anything that you wouldn't want the whole room seeing if in that meeting if at any point in the meeting you are screen sharing because obviously one mistakes happen but two sometimes technology gets a mind of its own and all of a sudden your texts are on the tv so if you are ever screen sharing in a meeting meeting, please let this be a lesson.

Do not do anything else.

All you think about is everyone seeing all of the things on your computer during the meeting.

Thank you.

100%.

And so to this girl that this happened to you, it could have been worse, but everyone listening, take this as a warning.

And for the person that this happened to, we need to thank you for giving us cause to issue this warning.

So thank you.

You've done us a public service while it could have even been worse for you.

So at the end of the day, everything's okay.

You've done a great service to your fellow toasters, and we we are in your debt.

We are.

Okay.

Hello, Jax Claude, Rasin's Drax.

And you're saying this one is more onerous than the last one.

Oh, Claude, I don't know if I can handle it.

This one's pretty bad.

Okay.

Over the weekend, I dragged my boyfriend and some other friends to go to a strip club with me.

I had never been to one, and honestly, I just wanted to check it out.

We had so much fun and the girls were so nice.

When we had first gotten to the club, I had taken a cute, like aesthetic Instagram story picture of the ceiling lights and I added a location sticker.

A few hours later, I pull my phone out and I realize that I accidentally put my cute strip club picture on my company's Instagram story.

I manage it, I have access to it, and I posted it instead of on my personal Instagram.

My boss thought it was funny, but I am still mortified.

Please help unburden this extreme screw-up.

Sincerely, a social media manager who will now double-check which account she posts anything to for the rest of time.

Again, these are things that have to be learned the hard way.

I have worked in before this, I worked in social media many times and I had, you know, run-ins like this.

It was only a few seconds and it certainly wasn't at a strip club, but it has to happen to you in order for it to never happen again.

I think some workarounds around this are requesting a work phone.

I don't know if you should really be blending, you know, your private and your corporate lives.

I think having a separate phone or even like an iPad would really help this situation.

I agree.

I was going to say separate phone.

I mean, it totally depends on what kind of company you work for because I could see a lot of companies like, okay, so the social media manager or the brand voice was out like celebrating women at a strip club.

Like, okay, like not the craziest thing ever, but there are some where it would be like really clear that someone fucked up.

That's a fire that someone fucked up here.

So, I mean, as long as you're not in trouble at work, it's not a big deal.

Agreed, this is something that needs to be learned the hard way.

And every social media manager has their story.

I mean, this, you always have to think, it could be worse.

The person who runs the Pope's Instagram.

The person who runs, always think about, if you're ever like in a snag at work, think about the person who liked bikini model photos from the Pope's Instagram.

But he was obviously just doing it on his personal or on his Finsta.

So you think you fucked up at work.

You've never fucked up at work like that on a global scale where there was a full investigation from the Vatican as to who liked the photos.

So you know what?

Could be worse.

Could be worse.

And again, we will use this as an opportunity to issue a warning to all the social media managers out there who have all their accounts on one phone, who do like to go to the strip clubs and take aesthetic photos of the ceiling.

At least it was like an aesthetic photo of the ceiling and not like you and your friends.

Big tips in your face.

Yeah.

Battles at the curb.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This should be a lesson, but I think it's always really important to remember how things could be worse.

And then, of course, when you zoom out from the perspective of the Big Bang Theory, this is nothing.

Nothing.

You guys are going to be okay, all of you.

I appreciate you sharing your burdens.

We can.

And you should be grateful to your boss, by the way, because like she didn't make a big deal of it.

So therefore, it's not a big deal and we can forget about it.

Yeah.

And now collectively, we all

can release these burdens into the ethers.

They are no longer going to weigh us down.

We start this week with a fresh slate, a tabula rasa.

Go forth and prosper and learn from these mistakes.

That way, they are not mistakes.

And now that you are done listening to this episode, today is the premier day for the very first episode of Good Guys, Josh Peck and Ben's new podcast, Good Guys, which is available everywhere.

Their first episode just dropped.

It's called Teetering on Diabetes, and that should really give you like a good sense of what the episode includes.

They also tried to do some pop culture news, and like I was crying.

Ben literally, they were talking about the royals, and Ben literally thought Prince Charles was dead.

He knows nothing.

It was so funny.

The episode is great.

It's available now wherever you get your podcasts.

So we hope you enjoyed this one.

We hope you'll enjoy that one.

I think you'll enjoy all of them.

And we're going to get you through the day till we're back tomorrow morning for Toohoohoo Hooves Day.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

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So at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Cast Box, all the places.

So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us.

The Morning Toast and leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

Hope you guys have an increase Monday.

Rides, grind, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Bye.