S5 Ep111: Sunday on a Monday: Monday, August 15th, 2022

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Good

morning, millennials.

Hey, girlies, how you dern happy Monday to everyone?

Hey, everyone.

Happy Monday.

I am sorry to tell you that it's Monday.

I'm sorry to be the one to let you know.

Maybe you have evaded it knowing it until now, but it's Monday.

Sucks to suck.

What can I do?

It doesn't feel real yet because we are recording this episode Sunday night because tomorrow I'm obviously traveling to get to you so we can do a whole week of together YouTube shows.

So it doesn't really feel like Monday, but like knowing that it's coming is somehow worse.

Yeah, I mean, for us, it's Sunday night, which is oh,

Sunday night.

Oh,

Sunday night.

Stunning.

So I don't know what's worse, Sunday night or Monday morning.

Sound off in the comments.

No, it's definitely Monday morning.

Yeah, at least Sunday night is just like a cozy, cute, anxious vibe.

Right.

And like if you do it right, like you can cultivate a premium Sunday evening.

Like you can prepare yourself for the week, feel like good, clean your house, eat, take a bath, read.

Like it can be peaceful.

There's, uh, there's a potential for positivity.

I actually feel like I am having one of those Sunday nights, but I feel like we're a tale of two different Sunday nights because I had a very productive day.

Not only are we doing, are we working Sunday nights so I get to, you know, sleep in if my alarm will let me sleep in, my alarm being my son, if he will allow that for tomorrow morning.

But I had a closet organizer at my house today organized by Danielle.

And so I am just like

new outlook on life.

And I'm really like, I, not to rub it in, but I'm just like having one of those very productive Sundays.

I literally hate you.

I'm having literally the worst day.

And like, I'm only slightly like happy about it because I've actually been getting a lot of like feedback from the toasters that they miss my hungover episodes.

And I feel like for a long time, I was like doing it too frequently.

It was like every Friday I was hungover.

And like, we don't like.

It's like funny, but it like, you can't really like put out a good episode if you're not,

like, your brain's not working.

So I haven't done a hungover episode in a while and it's sunday night it's 9 p.m and i'm literally i mean i feel better but i feel like i just woke up like i'm not okay so tell me about what you did and what and how contributed to this hangover um it was

tequila

I went out to dinner and I was planning on just like going out to dinner, having a couple cocktails, like getting loose, but not like that loose.

But you know, when things just like come together, you know, I was talking to Taylor Strecker and Taylor Donahue and they like, I thought they they were in Boston, but they were back in the city and they were at a restaurant nearby.

So, like, everything was just like working out, everything was coming up cloudy.

And so, we just like, I leaned in and I had a great time.

I went to a gay bar.

I went to the gay bar that I got kicked out of, um, and that, like, I have a pit about that I got kicked out of there.

Every time I go, I'm like, do you think they're going to remember me and like kick me out again?

But, um, not to blow up her spot.

But Taylor Donahue did get kicked out of there as well last night.

And now I'm just feeling like the place is really unnecessarily strict.

Yeah, that's that sounds like that's what's happening.

Yeah, because Taylor Donahue tripped like on the stairs like going up the stairs.

She tripped and the guy was like, you're too drunk.

Get out of here.

Oh my god.

No fun.

Nark.

Yeah.

It was so lame.

Nark.

Now I feel better that I wasn't like the only one, you know?

Oh, and she tripped.

And not only did you remember it, but you just told the whole podcast.

Imagine how she feels.

I don't think she was embarrassed.

I don't think anyone saw her fall.

Like, I think she was more embarrassed that they literally kicked out a grown woman.

Like.

Yeah, no, no one one saw her fall, but now everybody knows on the morning toast.

Well, that's what you get when you hang out with one of the most elite podcasters on the planet is you have to know that everything is fodder for the podcast.

Everything is fodder.

Maybe she wrote into Unburden Yourselves.

Oh, we have really good Unburden Yourselves today.

Obviously, it's Monday, which means we're doing that.

I also, um.

I did my first show.

Well, not my first show, but like my first show in a really long time.

I did the first show of the N leg, the final log of my, no, the final leg of my toast.

Of my log.

we call theo um three log crunch

because when he makes a duty like it's always three logs i just thought you'd find that interesting but ben told me um the other day he actually made a four log uh-oh it was a lot you must have been a tdt two dinner tigs

um and for those asking he's feeling much better oh thank god we went to the doctor They said like his antibiotics are helping.

He's definitely healing.

He can go on the antibiotics until Wednesday.

So for everyone who wanted the update and and for everyone who came to my West Hampton show,

you're welcome.

It was, Jackie, like,

you know, every time I don't do a show for a while, like, I have sleepless nights over it.

Of course.

And I always really feel like I'm really out of my depth.

And anytime I've ever had a successful show is like genuinely like a fluke.

And I feel so like disassociated from my art, you know?

Yeah.

And I was like probably the most nervous I've ever been, especially because a lot of people I knew were coming because it was in New York.

So like friends, friends, parents, Hannah Berner, like people I know.

And so I was just like feeling embarrassed, you know?

It was so incredible.

I am, and I'm not even like, I'm so talented.

Like I'm so glad that I do this for a living because I'm fucking amazing at it.

I swear to God, I was so goddamn funny.

Like everyone there was cackling.

Like there was a girl and I need to shout her out.

First row, second seat from the aisle on, you know, if I'm looking at her, she was on the right.

I thought she was going to have to go to the hospital she could not stop she was cackling peeing in her pants and it was such good energy to have like I really can only see because of the stage lights maybe the first or second row

and it was just like I want to bring her I want to put her on salary

at every show I think she should work for the toast I think she should sit in the studio and laugh at everything we she had an amazing laugh and it really fueled me like from the second I got out there I was being hilarious it was an like an incredible show would you say it was in Crayop?

I definitely would, like for sure.

And it just reinforces, like, if you haven't seen my show yet, like my material is just so good.

Girlwithnojob.com slash tour.

Come see me.

I'm going to Portland and Seattle.

I'm going to Durham, North Carolina.

I'm going to Huntington, Long Island.

What's the show?

Where's the show of the N-Leg that has sold the least amount of seats?

That way, like, if people want to go on a weekend with their friends and get tickets, like where could they go?

That's a really good question and just like travel to a new city with the least amount yeah like and everyone can just like and like me and all my friends could get tickets and we wouldn't have to worry okay let me find it sorry if that's an annoying question no no it's not i get like um like this little chart you see i get it every couple of days is it a church

oh it's the uh portland

Okay, looks like we're taking a girl's trip to Portland.

Gorgeous city this time of year.

Girlies in Portland, and I'm glad you're back on the road doing your thing.

Yeah, tickets available at girlwithnonjob.com slash sure.

Wait, what was that website?

I don't think you've shared.

Girlwithnonjob.com slash sure.

You should make a site, girlwithnojob.com slash sure, where you could just like, where you do affiliate links for AV equipment.

You know what?

That.

Wait.

Speaking of affiliate links for AV equipment, I linked my printer on my Instagram story.

I don't think I've ever gotten so many clicks on an item.

No, I probably have gotten like more clicks on something in the history of all my swipe ups, but this must be top 10 amount of clicks I got on something.

Can you pull up your analytics and tell me how many orders were placed?

I'm so interested in that.

Because by the way, my affiliate link thing is delayed by like a week.

Oh, yeah, you get the numbers later.

I get the numbers.

Like I posted something from Wayfair a few days ago.

I still don't know if anyone bought it.

I linked my printer once.

I'm going to pull up.

I'm on this little app that you do the affiliate links.

Yeah.

I, I did it too.

And because I posted about my printer and everyone was like, what printer is that?

Like, who cares?

But I thought it was extremely interesting.

I wonder when I did it.

Like,

no, my printer is the best printer.

And now Claudia can stop being like a printer supremacist and making fun of me for not having one.

And I guess everybody felt the same.

Like, check out my story, swipe up on my printer.

It was a gorgeous printer you got.

And I'm excited now, obviously.

And like, that's that's the kind of that's the kind of sunday i had like i was setting up my printer i cleaned out the studio because i know like you don't like the clutter so i got rid of as many boxes as i could but some things i'm still not sure if you want to keep um and i just was having like one of those days i also was mostly getting my house ready for you claudia is coming to stay with me if you're listening on a monday today she will be um

My first guest.

She'll be my first guest.

And I'm nervous.

I'm so excited.

I'm

going to.

I think we're going to make amazing memories.

I just like don't want you to judge me.

I don't know.

Am I a judgmental person?

A little bit.

I, you, like, interesting.

It's not your brand, you know, but it's just like something people who know you know about you.

And I actually wouldn't say this is such an enlightening conversation.

I wouldn't say that the word judgmental is the right word, though, actually.

You are,

I don't want to say hard to please because when, when it's when you like something, you're very easy to please.

But you're very just like

hot or cold, good or bad.

This is so enlightening.

Not like, oh, like if I give you something, it's not like, oh, I'll try this and see how it is.

You're like, no, I don't like it.

No, okay.

I'm a creature of habit.

Like, I like my things and I want them all like the same way.

Like, I want my makeup like...

You don't like being uncomfortable.

Does anyone?

Some people like would consider that adventure, you know.

Oh, okay, fine.

Sorry.

Yes, I'm normal.

Okay.

I'm just,

you're not the easiest critic, but that's fine.

I don't think I am.

I feel feel like I'm so easygoing.

I'm so light.

You're so not.

And I also happen to make an incredible house guest.

That's what you've been saying.

And I look forward to this increase house guest.

Like, I'm extremely helpful when it comes to household tings.

Like, when I stayed at Olivia, I cleaned her house.

Like, every morning before they woke up, I was like, oh, they were dropping Michaela off.

Like at school, I was, you know, cooking.

Well, not cooking.

Cleaning.

I was cleaning.

I was, you know, oh, the towels are done.

Let me me fold them back and put them back in the linen closet of course anytime they needed coverage I'm Michaela like here I am ready to help oh should we play some music what should we do for dinner like I'm I'm really like a like a sickening top-tier house guest I'm so excited to experience this firsthand you're in for a real treat and then beyond like you know my company is just like it's incredible I'm hilarious like you always want me around that's what I'm really looking forward to I just I miss my sis and then Margo's also gonna be joining us it's gonna be fab Margo's gonna be staying with me too with Margo's gonna be staying with me too.

And I'm so excited for her too.

And Magnolia and Theo, you guys, it's a full house.

Magnolius, Bruno, is having his lady love over.

He's been vacuuming all day.

I'm like, Bruno, she doesn't get here for a few days.

Like, your hair's going to get on the floor again.

He's like, mom,

vacuum again.

I was like, okay, this works for me.

Works for me if you want to keep vacuuming.

Speaking of people who are difficult to impress, Magnolia.

Magnolius.

Yeah.

Petroleus Coroleus.

Extremely judgmental.

Extremely.

And now people are going to message Margo, like, cannot believe what Jackie and Claudia said about you on the toast today because she's not a supportive sister, so she doesn't listen to our podcast.

And in her defense, we do do a lot of podcasts.

It would be hard to keep up all the time.

And whenever we mention her name, and it's always positive, she literally will get a message and then she'll text us, like, what the fuck did you guys say about me on the toast today?

So you guys are like constantly snitching and like creating drama within our family.

Constantly, or she'd be like, What did you say about Magnolia?

That's right.

Magnolia.

Magnolia.

Magnolia.

Speaking of Margo, she was like on an influencer weekend.

Like she is such, I know we say this all the time, but she's such an influencer.

Not only like, is she influential, affiliate links, swipe ups, you know, podcasts, podcasts, podcasts, but like, and we, you and I are influencers too, but like we never did like influencer trips like she does.

No, we did, we didn't not do that.

And we didn't really like have like a group of friends who were all influencers.

Like we were friendly with a bunch of different influencers.

Yeah.

But there wasn't like this click.

Yeah.

No, this is like a new thing I think that the Jen's ears are doing.

It's very sweet.

Everyone's so supportive of one another.

We've always had friends in the community, but it's not like all of us got together and like took a trip.

Maybe that was happening for other influencers.

It reminds me of your comedy special, but those weren't the kind of parties I was invited to.

Oh my God, literally quoting me.

Literally.

It's so nice to be podcasting with your number one fam.

It's so true.

But I do feel, Jackie, by the way, like in a very small way, I have like a little influencer click now, like Brian and the Taylor.

You do.

You do.

I was actually thinking.

But

it's not as organized as the TikTokers.

Yeah.

And Snatchler is just, she's one of them.

She's one of them.

By Lee Bryce.

She's one of them girls that.

Anyways, they all took themselves to Nantucket because they were inspired by Ellen Hildebrand.

And then they met Ellen.

And they met Ellen.

Can I tell you,

I never really sat down and thought, like, what does Ellen Hildebrandt look like?

But if I did have to, I would assume she looked like Nancy Myers, you know, coastal grandma.

They're like very elegant, rich grandma.

And when I saw a picture, no, when I saw a picture of her on Danielle Caroline's Instagram, I thought she was one of the girlies on the influencer.

Like, she's blonde and like super fit and like stunning, snatched.

She's like Reese Witherspoon vibe.

I was beyond shocked, like beyond.

Yeah, sometimes knowing ruins it.

You're knowing who the author is, even seeing a photo, seeing their Instagram, even their bio can ruin the whole book.

But I think, but Ellen Hildebrand is actually not one of those people because like who she is is so wrapped up in like what she writes about that like knowing that she wrote it like Golden Girl is literally about her and that works.

Yeah.

And by the way, like ever since I started following Colleen Hoover on TikTok, like I like, I think it really affected how I read her books.

And I like her TikTok.

She's always making good content and like giving the fans what they want, like sneak peeks at the movie, like things like that.

But so after, I think I actually did unfollow her and like Ellen Hildebrandt followed me on Instagram and I will not follow her back.

Like I don't really, like I can't keep up with authors because it's, it's too close.

No, I like.

It's a door I don't want to open ever.

Speaking of books, I have made no progress on Jeanette McCurdy.

It's literally my Kindle sitting right here charging for the plane tomorrow.

I will make a large dent in it tomorrow while on the plane to you, but I just I'm not like motivated at all.

I can't explain it.

I actually didn't make any progress on my book this weekend either because with my few hours of downtime, I watched Southern Charm and I am all caught up.

And I'm just so excited.

I am all caught up on Beverly Hills.

Wow.

So maybe at the end of this episode, we'll do a TV recap.

Well, why don't we do it now a little bit?

I don't have a lot to say.

And we just watched, and we have Unburden Yourselves at the end.

So we have Unburden Yourselves.

Selves.

I do say it.

I do say it like that.

Because you say it when you say the Gmail.

And I can't say Unburden Yourselves without saying selves.

And I'm glad that you do because I can only imagine how many people email their problems, their deep, dark secrets to an email account that we do not own.

Somebody else had it.

Unburden yourself at Gmail.

It's yourselves.

Yeah.

Okay.

So Southern Charm.

Yeah.

It's so good.

I was reading Twitter and like people were like, this season sucks if they're having an episode dedicated to a dog wedding.

And like in hindsight, yeah, there was a whole episode.

There was a wedding between Patricia's dog peaches and little Craig.

But like, it didn't bother me at all.

If it were any other show, I would not want, I would be like, this is stupid.

This is the end of Southern Charm.

Like, if this is what they're showing us, it's terrible.

But it was honestly like so premium.

First of all, the weather was like this.

rainy day.

Everyone was like chilly with their coats.

The girls were like dressed in the nines.

Paige was there.

And

I thought it was so cute.

And I, I mean, maybe because I would do that for Bruno and Magnolia because like they have that kind of one true love like this didn't feel weird to me if Peaches really is in love with little Craig then yeah they should get married no one else on southern charm is getting married um

also like weirdly the other people's personal scenes I'm just like so

I just adore some of the cast members.

Like a few episodes ago, they went to Austin's family home because his parents were moving out of the house that he grew up in.

And when I tell you, I was just like, so moved by the whole thing.

And it was just like so cute to see him.

Like, he was coming home, like, with his friends.

He's obviously like 30, but still, he's like calling his mom, like, what'd you make for lunch?

We're so hungry.

And it was just so cute.

And all, and Shep and Craig were like helping them all move the furniture out of the house.

And I just like, I love this cast.

I love them.

Yeah, no, because they're like actual friends and they also all have like interesting lives and backgrounds.

And they're just all real, good reality TV people.

Craig is the absolute hero of the entire series.

Like the where he's come to now in his relationship with Paige, in his business, in his house.

He's like doing renovations on his house, sitting on the porch with Paige, like talking about how like, that's where I want the kids to play.

Like Craig isn't messing around.

Like compared to the other guys who are messing around, like Shep is ruining who is one of the greatest girls relationships.

Oh my God, I'm obsessed with Taylor.

She's so

everything of the sort.

Yeah.

Everything of the sort.

I love her so much.

And like,

it's just a shame because Shep can't give her what she needs.

And so she obviously has to move on.

But like, I like them both separately and I just wish that that they could be together.

But as you know, they're broken up right now.

New favorite cast member, Olivia Flowers.

She's the girl who came on

as like a date of Austin's, but he's, you know, pussy footing as he does.

And she's just like so smart.

Everything she says, everything she does, I'm like, you're just so cool.

And I just, I love her.

She's an amazing addition to the show.

Her, Taylor, and Catherine are like a little threesome.

And I'm loving their friendship.

Oh, good.

Naomi's back on the show.

I love her.

It's so great to have her back.

I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoy her presence.

Just everyone all together is, oh, and next week we find out that her and Whitney kissed, which is so

wild.

Also, I'm curious because last season, Leva made such a splash.

She was in like every scene, every conversation.

And like this season, she's taken such a back seat.

And like, I miss her and I want to know what's going on with her.

She talks a little bit about how she's like changing her mindset and just like trying to practice.

different practices at home at work in her life to like be less uh i don't know maybe have less drama so maybe that's why she's not involved in the drama but I enjoyed her presence last season and I would like to see more of her especially because it seems like she's friends with everyone I had also heard that there was a show in development for Leva um like a Vanderpump rules type of show about her restaurants or bars or clubs um so maybe like she's focusing on that but then I would think they would give us more of like her at the dresser to prepare us yeah no I don't know but I did I only watch the first couple of episodes this season so far and she definitely feels like kind of irrelevant but I it feels like it's an intentional thing from her yes definitely feels intentional and then vinita's also a new cast member and she's just like kind of fighting with a bunch of different people she's like trying hard to be at the center she's trying hard and something that she did that i just did not appreciate is like she talked about how she had a hard time like having conflict with all these people because like in her personal life at home, like she never saw her parents fight, but then just like one day her dad left.

And because she never like saw people have conflict, she like doesn't.

She was just like basically blaming her fight with Olivia on her parents.

And it's like she had a conversation with her mom on the show about like ask, trying to ask about like what happened with her dad.

And it's like, if this is the first time you're talking about it, like on your first season, like I don't like when people do that.

It's like you never had this conversation privately before.

And now you expect your mom to have it with you on television.

Yeah.

It's a lot.

Yeah.

And then one other person, Madison LaCroix.

Oh, does she ruffle everyone's feathers?

I love her.

I love her too.

She's just so funny.

And I hope we meet her fiancé on the show, but apparently he doesn't live in Charleston yet.

And she's also definitely like majorly taking a step back.

Yeah, but I don't know whose choice that is.

But if you're asking the viewers what we think, we want more Madison LaCroix.

Yeah.

What do we want?

More Madison.

When do we want it?

Now.

On Beverly Hills, I only had one more episode to catch up on.

And Doreet and PK threw this event for like a charity that they're working with.

And they said the charity's name like throughout the episode, like probably 10 times.

And all the women were talking about how like it's literally the weirdest name for a charity and it's like a really good concept it takes people you know who are on the street who have fallen upon hard times and helps them get you know their teeth fixed it's like it's all about smiles um

and the charity is called homeless not toothless

and it's just like a really weird name that's yeah no and like the women are talking about like how it's like a bad name and it was really funny and then Rina obviously it just like has a breakdown at the

event dinner because um she's like screaming at Sutton again like being so crazy and then she has a breakdown and and you know reveals that she's not doing well since her mom passed away and like she's not even mad at Sutton she's just like you know spiraling and I really feel like it's just like like an excuse honestly like she wanted her event on the show she guaranteed her charity no no the one from last week where she acted insane the Rinna Rose so she like made a whole scene there so she could guarantee that it would get on the air and then she like backpedaled.

So it was like a

fine episode.

Nothing else really happened.

But I'm like so team Garcell and Sutton.

Like I couldn't be more on their side if I tried.

Yeah, I'm so far removed from Beverly Hills.

I do hope to get back there, but it's hard.

Now I'm like missing reading.

I feel like I'm not doing keeping up with my reading homework.

It's just it's hard.

Well, just know like Garcelle is taking care of it.

Like she's literally on the right side of history for every

every argument no matter big nor small she's just such a good friend she's so right she's serving up looks and i like i just love her like i just didn't see her becoming my favorite housewife on beverly hills like so fast i'm she's just a fucking queen she stays winning always it's just so nice when there is someone when like things are happening that are frustrating on television show but there's someone who's voice of it like it is yeah 100 i feel safe knowing garcel will handle it yeah and like will speak up for you yeah no and next week she gets into it with erica Like she's

she's making a list.

Love that.

Taking the bidors down.

So that's a mini TV recap.

We'll get back on a better schedule moving forward.

One day.

One day.

But in the meantime, I think we should dive in.

Let's dive into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

How?

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And like when you get your ears pierced and you get these like ugly little balls, like, no, studs is just like changing the game and removing some of our childhood trauma when it comes to getting your ears parsed.

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That's where we got our ears.

Ear parsing.

I mean, it really hurt me that for every time you said piercing in that ad, you didn't say.

parsing.

Well, I know that we have ads.

I'm doing a job.

I know.

Yeah, we have like companies too, like who are going to listen to this.

Like, they can't just be like messing around.

I know.

I know.

I just wish we'd like put that in the contract.

Like, we'll, we love studs and we'll tell everyone about them as long as we can just say parsed.

You know, the narmers have.

No big deal.

Hope that's okay.

Following up here.

Can we say parsed?

Circling back.

Circling back on the parsage.

Our first story.

It's actually very sad news.

Anne Haish has died at the age of 53 following her horrific car crash.

Ann Haish's rep told page six: We have lost a bright light, a kind and most joyful soul, a loving mother, and a loyal friend.

Anne will be deeply missed, but she lives on through her beautiful sons, her iconic body of work, and her passionate advocacy.

Her bravery for always standing in her truth, spreading her message of love and acceptance, will continue to have a lasting effect.

Early on Friday, Ann Haish's team told page six that she was officially declared brain dead, but doctors were keeping her heartbeating so that one legacy could determine if she's a match for organ donation.

It was planned that they would take her off of life support on Sunday

once they successfully got her organs if they were able to.

I mean, I feel like this all happened so fast.

And I was really, and even though I think we like knew that this was the outcome, that's what we reported on Friday.

It's like still really sad.

Yeah.

And it's just so crazy.

It's like a crazy turn of events that just happened so quickly.

And I feel like we, the public was like kept abreast on everything.

Yeah.

No, it was so like when I saw the news on Friday, like I was so shocked when I saw it.

And then I saw it again an hour later and I was like equally as shocked.

I don't know why.

Like this is just

you're right.

It happened so quickly.

Also, the police are dismissing the investigation into the crash and

her death.

Right.

I guess because if she had survived, they would have like brought charges against her.

Yeah.

Wow, that's so, so crazy.

So sad.

Rest in peace.

Rest in peace.

Also, a lot of people, celebrities are, you know, sharing tributes and love and prayers.

But a lot of publications are like using this as an opportunity to like talk about her relationship with Ellen.

Ellen.

And kind of like how Ellen had her blackballed.

Really?

Yeah.

Like I was reading, maybe it was just page six, but I think I saw it somewhere else too.

They were talking about how her career kind of stalled after her relationship with Ellen.

One, because like it was such a...

brave thing to do at the time to like she walked the red carpet with Ellen and was very public with their with their relationship But then, when they broke up, like, Ellen, you know, went on to have the biggest daytime talk show, and like, she wouldn't have had Anne on her show.

And Page Six was saying, like, you know, movie studios weren't going to have her in their picture if she can't go and promote.

I don't think that, I think that's a little bit of a leap.

It's a stretch.

Like, you can have an extremely successful career and never go on Ellen.

Right.

But they were saying, like, Ellen was telling people, like, if you won't get press on my show, if you wouldn't.

Yeah, I mean, I can see Ellen being a vengeful ex.

She's a terrible boss.

So, like,

I can totally see that being true because to be honest, I'm not really familiar with Anne Hait at all.

Like, she had all this momentum.

What I was reading was, because we were too young at the time, she had all this momentum in the 90s, was in like a few really big movies.

And then after she stepped out with Ellen, that definitely slowed down because I think that there was backlash from their relationship.

But then after they broke up and like in the 2000s, she couldn't really get a foothold still

because Ellen, Ellen, you know, was a powerful ex.

I mean, that sounds like it could be entirely possible.

Yeah, which is just really sad.

Yeah.

It's just like a terrible story, a terrible ending to the whole thing.

I agree.

Well, our next story.

Kim Zolsiak Bierman's daughter, Ariana Bierman, has been arrested on suspicion of DUI with her high school boyfriend in Georgia.

This is fucking crazy.

Yeah, Ariana Bierman has been arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol.

The 20-year-old daughter of Kim Zolsiak Bierman was booked at Forsyth County Jail in the early hours of Saturday morning after she and on and off again boyfriend Hudson McLean McLaRoy were arrested around 1 a.m.

according to public records obtained by people.

She was charged with three misdemeanors, driving under the influence of alcohol, improper slash erratic lane change, and underage possession slash purchase of alcohol.

She has since been released on $5,000 bail.

He was arrested for allegedly driving under the influence, as well as allegedly furnishing alcohol to a minor and violating the conditions of his limited driving permit.

He's also 20 for the record.

Also, for what it's worth, she, Ariana, is wholly denying the allegations that she wasn't drunk and that she was impaired more so by anxiety because there was a fender bender.

Okay.

So this is really tough for me because you know how I feel about drunk driving and you know how I feel about the Beermans.

Like I'm their number one fan.

Yeah.

But I have to take a strong stance against this.

And you know, us Beerman historians, we know like growing up, Ariana was the good one, you know?

She had like amazing grades.

She was a really good student, like the girl, the kid who always behaved.

So you just don't expect this from her.

Of course, we don't really know her that well anymore because the show has been off for a while.

But this saddens me to see that she's taken such a dark turn.

And hopefully this is the wake-up call that she needs.

And thank God nobody got hurt.

It could have been much worse, but I just cannot condone this behavior.

I'm extremely disappointed in Ariana.

I really am.

Yeah, this is bad.

I agree with you.

I hope it's a wake-up call.

I hope I don't know what she's doing.

We haven't really like,

I don't follow her, and there hasn't been a show in a while.

So I don't really know what she's like up to in life.

She's pretty big on TikTok.

But this is not the road to be going down.

And thankfully, no one was hurt.

And hopefully, everything is okay.

And let this be the worst of it.

And

you should turn it around.

She should turn it around.

Kim and Croy are actually like really strict parents.

Like, she's going to get in so much fucking trouble.

And she should.

Good.

She didn't have a door in her bedroom.

She didn't have a bedroom door for like four years because she was like snuck out once.

Well, hopefully, she won't have like a car now.

But it's also hard to punish kids that are like financially independent.

And she's 20 years old.

So

is she a kid?

No.

She's not.

I'm sure they can get creative with a punishment.

Well, I was scrolling on TikTok and I saw a video of Tate McRae and I thought it was Ariana Beerman for like while I was watching the whole video and I never realized how much they looked like.

Oh, that's so funny.

We were just watching a video of Tate McRae.

A music video.

Yeah, we watched her music video.

She's a star.

Yeah, no, she's so great and the video is cute and her songs are great.

Yeah.

Anyways,

that's not it.

And you got to turn it around, girl.

Do better.

Yeah, no, like young people do stupid

they do and but this crosses a line this doesn't like this doesn't say like this is you're who you're gonna be like but this is a moment i think in her life that she'll look back on and it's an inflection point and she needs to turn her around a hundred percent i i couldn't have said it better i don't know if she listens to the podcast but like it ends it ends here it ends in forsyth county jail forsyth yeah get back to school yeah do your homework i'm i was very really very upset by this.

Like, I know her, you know?

Yeah.

I feel like she's someone who also will forever seem younger than she is.

Yeah, because you didn't know her.

Yeah, because you know her.

Like, the way I see her is really like 15, but we saw her on the show like as young as

right.

But to me, she'll always just be like Brielle's little, like little Brielle.

100%.

And I'm sure she hates that, by the way.

I'm sure.

But doing stuff like this doesn't make you seem grown.

No, not at all.

It's

really bad decision decision-making on her part.

Yeah.

Glad no one got hurt.

Same, of course.

Our next story, switching gears, something a little more positive, something we can all get excited about.

Jessica Simpson shows off her toned legs and daisy dukes while debuting her new roller skate line.

So obsessed, obsessed, obsessed.

There's a lot to unpack here.

Jessica Simpson has come out with a new line of roller skates for her Jessica Simpson collection.

They're called the Roller Star Rockstar, the Rock, I'm sorry, the Rollstar Roller Skates, and they come in five sparkly snazzy designs.

And Jessica showed off this pink sequence style.

Then her daughter is also in the campaign

looking so gorgeous.

Her daughter Maxwell is also showing off a pair.

And more than that, our cup runneth over.

Kim Kardashian shared the pictures on her Instagram because they are mom friends because Jessica's daughter and Kim's daughter North play basketball together.

It was so cool of Kim.

Like Kim is actually really good about that, like posting like for her friends, their brands, even if it's like a direct competitor.

Like she is so supportive of everyone, of female-owned businesses.

And I know that her and Jessica have gotten close because of the kids, but I didn't know like that they were on that level.

And first of all, I didn't even know Jessica launched Rollerblades.

So it was like really good marketing for Jessica.

And they're extremely cute.

Yeah, like, I don't know that I need a pair of rollerblades like that because I'll just like fall on my ass.

I'm not going to go to the roller rink, but I want to.

I know I'm going to do the roller rink in my Jessica Simpson collection roller skates.

I could see like you needing them at some point.

You just never know.

They're really cute.

And Jessica recently, she bought out her business, right?

Yeah.

Also, roller skating is just such a great pastime.

It's a great hobby.

It's a great workout.

I would say Ariana Beerman should get a pair of roller skates

and go for

her boyfriend and go roller skating and get a soda.

So can I tell you, like I had the roller skating revelation about maybe seven years ago where I was like, I'm going to get back into roller skating.

I bought roller skates.

They were fucking expensive.

I bought a helmet and I went to town.

Now, Jessica Simpsons are the ones that have two wheels in the front and two wheels in front.

Roller skates.

Yours were roller blades.

Right.

Four wheels in a line, you know?

And can I tell you how horrendous of an experience it was.

First of all, my feet, it was like, you know, when you go skiing, like my feet were fucking killing me.

I made it one block before I literally could not stop.

I ran into a lamppost and went up face first into a building.

It's much harder than you remember.

It's not fun.

And I'm just letting you know, like, it's not a premium experience.

Okay, so Ariana, definitely wear knee pads when you go and elbow pads.

But I think.

I was also doing it like on a busy city block.

I would love to go to a roller rink.

I actually think that it's obviously much easier there.

It's slick and and easier, just going in circles.

So you don't really need to stop.

You can just like run into the wall.

And I think you'll be as better like you remember how you were versus trying to roller skate in the streets of New York City.

Yes.

Well, also for my birthday, when I was planning like a fun activity for everyone to do, I was, I was, my first choice was a roller rink.

They don't exist anymore.

Like I didn't even know what to Google.

Like what were those places called that were like half arcades?

Roller rink.

Yeah.

Roller rink.

Don't exist.

I was looking at New Jersey.

Like I could not find, there was like, oh, you can, we have a rollerblading night at Brooklyn Bowl.

No, like, there's no roller rinks.

It's a lost art.

That's so sick.

We should open

kids are going and fighting at six flags.

Six flags, right?

Because they don't have a roller rink.

We should open a chain of roller rinks that are like hella toasty and like you can get really cute pictures and like all of the rollerblades are really cute and it's like a bar also.

It's like a fun.

But like could kids go and teens rowdy?

Yeah, like no kids after

no kids under 18 after six okay but like still then what do the teens do after six uh the teens are not my problem claudia everyone is our problem no we're just trying to help give i'm gonna write i'm gonna run a business that discriminates against teenagers no but like i just want to help these kids stay out of trouble you know i know but you know what it's their parents job not ours like we can't lose sleep over like you just worry about what harry's gonna do when he's a teenager and i'll worry about that too okay sounds good anyways if you do find a roller rink, get Jessica Simpson's gates.

They look sick.

They're really chemoprobed.

And

I was about to talk about how we love to see women supporting women, but apparently we don't.

No, we don't.

Oh my God.

Did I ever make you think that I did?

Sometimes you say that.

No, I am like, I am a woman who does not support other women.

Like,

because my philosophy is like, what, I should just support you because you happen to be a woman.

Like, no, earn my respect, bitch, first of all.

Yeah, you support anyone who's worthy of support someone who's not annoying someone who's nice to me like my who I support is based on a list of factors that have nothing to do with people's gender I feel that who I support is based on a list of factors mostly to do with like whether or not I just fucking

what it whatever it is yeah no and like if I'm being honest like statistically I think most of the people I dislike for valid reasons like it's not internalized misogyny like this is that most of the people like I deeply hate like I'm sorry are women so I'm just not gonna be blindly supporting women until I know what they're all about okay honestly like this is so honest of you and I come like now that we're now that we're digging into the phrase like women supporting women and how we're just like supposed to like why it's very problematic 100% blind support just because you're a woman like no

and that's not to say like if there are women that I like

that I don't support them.

Of course I do.

Yeah.

But just because you're a woman doesn't mean you automatically get my support.

Like, what is your business?

What, like, what are you doing?

Are you killing kids?

Like, I don't know.

But I support you because you're a woman?

No.

I just need more details on the situation before I give my blind support to a woman or a man or a person.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I'm just.

Okay.

Well, you know what?

That's a perfect segue into our next story.

I would love to see if this one woman's getting your support.

Is it the next story that's brought to you by Manscaped?

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Thank you.

I said thank you.

Oh, wow.

It's Monday, so I didn't know if you were feeling generous.

It's a pleasure.

I was going to give you this time and space, considering the stories are kind of quick.

Okay.

Next story.

Chrissy Metz is launching her music career.

She says, I want to share my heart and soul.

Emmy and two-time Golden Globe nominee Chrissy Metz is taking her talents to the stage.

The actress and country singer has just begun her city winery tour

where she will head across the East Coast performing her original.

How is this news?

Claudia, the whole article is like this huge press like puff piece, like quotes from her about how she wants to be authentic.

Okay, but like, how is Chrissy Metz playing in a bar?

Like, I, I did my practice shows at City Winery.

Some of them hold, I think, up to like maybe three, 400 people.

Like, it's, this is not like a big thing.

Like, okay, okay, yeah, no, I agree.

Um, she has a really good publicist.

Maybe you should call upon her.

This is Chrissy's mindless news.

Okay, but Chrissy Metz is going from being an actress, now that This Is Us is Over, to a singer.

She's working with Kelly Clarkson's musical director.

We've known that she's like had a singing itch.

Yes, because Brian Kelly is her number one fan.

He's always making me listen to her music.

He thinks it's so good.

She already has original music out.

Yes.

Well, I mean, if it was done by Kelly Clarkson's musical director, it really can't be that bad.

But no, she performed at the CMA Awards, remember?

Like, yes, of course.

I think in lieu of Luke Combs.

Yeah, it was like a, no, it was like a Luke Combs something.

It was really weird.

And it was just like, you're not Luke.

Luke.

You know me.

Like, I love when people follow their dreams.

Like, you want to wake up and be a singer?

Like, I've been there.

Will I be attending a show or listening to the music on my own?

No.

But that's not to say that this isn't extremely mindless news.

I just think it's, it will, it goes back to you.

For you, it goes back to a hatred of this is us.

Yes.

And you can't support any cast member in any capacity.

No, I have like developed like a deep hatred for every person on that show.

Like Justin Hartley, hate.

Villo, Milo Ventamiglia, like sorry.

I just hate him.

Okay, but what about mandy more so she's probably like i hate her the least but i definitely have like a hatred for her that i never had when i like the way i used to worship at the music video for candy like the impact that had on me at a young age is real so and i had your favorite your favorite movie because i said so because i said so princess diary is like her music her acting like her career is extremely important to me oh my god only hope from a walk to remember like and i never thought that there could come a day where like a part of me would like harbor some hatred for her.

But then this is us came along.

That you couldn't give your whole self to her.

So I don't hate her blanketly, but like I, I have hatred in my heart for her along with all the other castmates.

Okay, so this is not for you, but um, Chrissy Metz is now a singer.

So maybe she'll be an egot considering she's Emmy and Golden Globe nominated.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Good luck on your tour as a fellow touring girly.

I know how much work it is, and I'm excited for you to live your dreams.

Yeah, try something new.

It's like, and it's nice when you're at a level where you're like, you know what?

I think I'll be Kelly Clarkson today.

And you can just call up her musical director.

Right.

What if you just called up Kelly's director?

Yeah.

I should listen to some of her music.

It sounds like it's country and it's Kelly.

Vibes.

Yeah, I think you would like it.

Yeah.

Check it out.

Okay.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

It's a little food new.

Yes.

Doritos is releasing two new flavors inspired by condiments have you seen these no but that's so funny that you brought that up because you know what i just found out and i guess like i never thought about it so maybe i maybe i like did know it but like cool ranch doritos like the seasoning on those chips that i love it's ranch Yeah, and that goes against your principles and your scruples.

Yeah, like I, you would have to pay me $6 million to like ranch, but I've been eating Cool Ranch and it's like the same flavor.

Did you know that?

I never thought about it that hard, but I like ranch enough and I like cool ranch.

So is it like the same flavor profile?

Like when you

when you eat a cool ranch, are you like, oh yeah, ranch?

Like do you taste it?

I've never had ranch.

I'm going to say no.

Like there's maybe 10% ranchiness.

The rest is all cool.

Yeah, I just didn't know that, but sorry, what's the Doritos news?

Doritos ketchup and Doritos mustard.

Ew.

Doritos is releasing two new tasty flavors some say to fuel end of summer snacking Doritos ketchup and Doritos spicy mustard sorry that does sound better are the sweet and tangy options customers can crunch on for a limited time inspired by condiments the chips are the perfect addition to any summer cookout the Doritos ketchup is making its U.S.

debut and is based off of one of Canada's best-selling fan flavorite favorite flavors with a tangy and slightly sweet taste.

Okay, actually now that I'm really thinking about it, I think these are two good flavors.

Like Canadians fucking love ketchup chips and I've had them in Canada and like in camp I used to like ditch dip my potato chips into ketchup like it's pretty tasty so yeah, I think it would be good and people love those like mustard flavored pretzels, right?

Yeah, love those.

So I actually think both of these are kind of good ideas, but they're like limited time.

They're not like official flavors.

I think it will depend on sales.

Right, like how it goes.

Good thing we're giving them a little extra PR push.

I would love to try these.

We need to do a mukbang of like all the food news that we discussed and like trying it for once and for all.

Right, like have a chaco taco like before they're gone.

Yeah,

I guess a lot of times the brands then do send us what we just felt like.

Right, the craft mac and cheese.

So maybe I'm just here looking for free Doritos.

100%.

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So Unburden Yourselves is our weekly segment every Monday.

Did you do something embarrassing over the weekend that is literally weighing you down?

Write to us and we will unburden it for you.

We'll make you feel better about it.

All right.

Hey, Claudia and Jax.

I'm down at the Jersey Shore this weekend to celebrate my best friend's birthday party.

I actually met this group of friends through the power of the toast, and a lot of us have known each other for a while.

Wow, that's so nice.

We went to dinner to celebrate the birthday girl, and to my own detriment, I ignored the vice advice of Dorinda Medley and I had three martinis.

We came back to the house and that's when things started to go downhill.

I obviously blacked out, woke up the next morning to the news that I showed everyone my literal butthole.

There were eight straight women and three straight men who got a full view of my literal butthole.

You might think that it only happened once and you may even think it only happened twice, but it actually happened three times.

I was face down, ass up, spreading my ass cheeks so wide so that everyone could see my

literal bussy.

Everyone said it was fine, but I'm not okay.

Okay.

So I just want to say like I am the queen of doing really bad shit like when I'm drunk like I show my boobs to like gay men.

So it's like a little different.

but I don't know.

Let's keep in mind that this is a group of people you met through the toast.

They're obviously like party girls.

They're understanding girls.

And I don't know.

I mean, I do know that like if they're toasters, like they might be listening to this.

So maybe we can use our platform to help you.

Like, hey, girls.

It's not a big deal.

It's not a deal.

The girl who showed you her butthole is like having major regret about it.

So like, just forget it.

You know, it's not a big deal.

Like, it was a little crazy.

But like, crazy things happen at the Jersey Shore, you know?

Yeah.

Crazy things do happen at the Jersey Shore.

And I think because it's the Jersey shore you get a pass a hundred percent um that's just particularly crazy but like i mean you know drunk things happen we've all been there we're not here to judge but um that's that's a wild one no that's pretty wild um and i just feel like now that you've done it and you know how it feels you won't ever do it again yes some lessons

have to learn the hard way right and just be grateful that your friends are toasters because it's a special type of person and now we can tell them like to their face like don't don't don't.

Don't make it a thing.

Don't make it a thing.

This sounds

like a great time.

Yeah, gotta have a martini right now.

Call Claudia.

All right, ready?

Dear Claude and Jax, the other night I had way too much to drink, and I thought it would be a good idea to look up an old coworker on Facebook.

I had a giant crush on him, but it was definitely one-sided.

Well, I found him, I sent him a friend request, and then I sent him a message to let him know that I once had a sex dream about him.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

He responded, but I cannot even bring myself to open the message.

To make matters even worse, I am happily married.

My husband is amazing, and I don't know what was going through my head.

Sincerely, a girl from Pittville, USA.

I like how you just casually threw in that you were married at the end when, like, it is a really important thing.

She's pretty germane.

Yeah.

Um, but not drunk or anything.

Just.

No, she said she was drunk.

Oh.

Not your fault.

Yeah, no, I would definitely like.

Open his message just because I'm beyond curious.

I know if I were her, like, I wouldn't, like, not saying that she shouldn't open the message, but that's like how I would be too.

I would not be able to look at it.

I would have to.

Like, I wouldn't be able to.

Like, I, oh my God, I would just opening it like makes it real.

I understand where she's coming from.

And by the way, if you're like, honestly, like, actually, I would want to, like, now I want you to open it like out of curiosity.

What if he's like, same

on a group?

No, I've loved you for a long time.

You're the one that got away.

No, I just think, like, I just, you,

you really really need to like unfriend him block like you can have no connection to this man but first you need to find out what he said like just how does a person handle something like that okay but jahi what are your thoughts on like drunk thought drunk drunk words sober thoughts like is there something going on with this girl like maybe is she unhappy in her marriage or was like really just

I don't think it came out of absolutely nowhere.

Not that she's unhappy in her marriage.

No, I think like probably there's a seed of like, oh, she did always have a crush on this guy.

And like then, you know drunk you thinks everything is a good idea and like why not tell him it's funny that's so what if funny what if you just messaged him on facebook right and like not even because like you're trying you didn't say hey want to grab a drink you didn't try and cheat on your husband you just like

tried to do something maybe that drunk you thought was funny or that he shouldn't know like uh i don't think drunk words sober thoughts is always like one-to-one blanket statement i do think there is a seed

most of the time not all the time because sometimes like i don't think the other girl is dying to show her butthole when she's sober right you know that's true you know that's true yeah no sometimes i like when i wake up from like a drunk night and i like think about like you know like an argument i had with someone or whatever it's like i don't even feel that way like why did i yeah that stance i agree it's not a hundred percent foolproof statement but i think it can also explain a lot of things for a lot of people sometimes yeah but so with this girl like i really wouldn't worry too much about it but just block him and on facebook when you do block someone, your messages disappear.

So you'll feel good knowing.

Hopefully he hasn't screenshotted it yet.

Just please

open it and please let us know what he said.

I'm so curious how a human being would handle that.

Okay, our third and final one is something I can definitely relate to.

Hey, Jackson Claude and Brazenstrass.

Brasenstrasse.

Where's the music?

This weekend, I went on a short trip with my boyfriend and his parents.

We were staying in an Airbnb and me and my boyfriend were sleeping on the pull-out couch in the living room.

After getting ready in the bathroom one morning, I carried my dirty clothes and and toiletries to my bag in the living room.

A few minutes later, my boyfriend's dad says, Um, I think you dropped something.

I went over to pick up whatever it was and I saw my granny panties on the ground, discharge side up.

Thankfully, it was the last day of the trip, but I am mortified.

How can I face him ever again?

Sincerely, a mortified toaster.

I mean, if this isn't like my worst nightmare come to life, you guys know how like I'm so insecure about my granny panties because it's all I wear.

And I just think the lesson here is like, you really don't need to be staying in the same Airbnb as your boyfriend's parents.

Like, that's the takeaway.

I agree.

That's a really important lesson.

Also, like, he's an older gentleman.

His eyes probably aren't that great.

I don't think he saw the specifics.

No, but also, like, he's an older gentleman who has kids.

Like,

as you get older as a man, like, you become less of a moron, like, immature.

Like,

like, you've seen a baby be birthed, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I agree.

Like, men who are doctors, like, they're not incapable of, they're not, like being like weird about body stuff, you know?

Yeah.

Is he a doctor?

I think

that would be ideal.

I don't think he's thinking about your granny panties.

I don't, I think he probably just like, if he's thinking about it at all, he just feels badly that you probably are embarrassed.

So just let it go.

And I'm sure he didn't see the discharge, honestly.

No, his eyes are.

He's really up.

I have what, as we established, like near perfect eyesight.

And my, I'm 29 and my eyes are getting worse.

Like, there's no way he could has perfect eyesight like that.

No, and if he's standing up, I'm assuming he's like around six feet and the panties are on the floor.

Like, you have to be up close to like really see discharge.

Yeah, I think you need to forgive yourself.

And like Claudia said, lesson learned, you don't need to be staying in an Airbnb with your boyfriend's parents.

It's really close quarters, in my opinion.

Like, it's not necessary.

I agree.

Okay, well, those were three good ones, three different, different ones.

And if you guys want to be on next week and you have something you need to unburden, unburden yourself

at gmail.com.

And that was our show.

It's literally how you say it every week.

And Jackie, that's how we get submissions, okay?

No, and it's amazing.

So tomorrow's episode back on YouTube will be in Studio.

Flamingos.

Flamingos.

Flamingos.

So thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories every Monday through Friday.

So subscribe to us on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have an amazing Monday.

Don't forget to to rise and grind, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, baby, bye.