S5 Ep76: Tryday: Friday, June 10th, 2022

Good morning Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast and Happy

Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday.

Today is actually Thriday because Thrice is in the building.

Hello, Theodore, my love, my angel, my nephew, my perfect love.

It's Thriday, but it's also Triday

because today we are putting our money.

Oh, we're putting our mouths

where our mouths are.

Today we're putting our mouths

where our money is.

Right.

So yesterday, we, mostly me, were just like annihilating the internet for this dumb ball, Samic Vinegar trend.

And it's really kind of unfair and not cool of me to speak speak on a trend I haven't participated in.

So through no choice of my own, I was forced by you.

Yeah.

I think it's important.

You want to talk about dumb shit?

Fuck around and find out.

Fuck around and find out.

So we're just going to kick off today's show.

Testing out this new healthy Coke trend, which consists of balsamic vinegar over ice with LaCroix.

So I have all my ingredients.

I cannot, you know, I've never...

tasted balsamic vinegar in my life.

Like the smell makes me...

Oh, but let me smell it.

Is like really rich.

Wait, let me just pour and then you can.

So it's just a little bit.

No, it's more than that.

I watched a video.

No, it's like that.

Okay, a little bit more.

No, it's like that.

Okay.

It's that.

It's that.

Okay.

Here, you want to smell it?

It's really rich.

This is an expensive bottle, I think.

Oh, yeah, that's fragrant.

Then we're going to take our sparkling LaCroix.

This is the lime flavor, which I think makes sense.

You know, Diet Coke with lime.

Love it.

And apparently, you just pour it over

in our morning toast tumbler available at shopmorningtoast.com, even though I think it might be sold out.

We have tumblers for sure, though.

And then

you're going to have, I know you're trying to outweigh the balsamic.

No, no, no, no, no.

I mean, I can see

what you're doing.

This is what.

I can see that you're trying to.

So look.

Maybe I do need a little bit more.

A little bit more.

Yeah.

You wouldn't drink a Diet Coke that looked like that.

It's so twisted.

Oh!

Over my white pants.

I'm being so excited.

That's what you get for being a TikToker.

Okay.

Okay.

That looks like a Diet Coke that had the ice melt in it.

Sure.

I mean, it smells like balsamic vinaigrette, but it smells like balsamic vinaigrette mixed with a Coke.

It really does.

Let me just make it really mixed.

There is something Coke-like.

Yeah, but there's also something balsamic.

Yes.

Okay.

You guys don't understand like what a big deal it is.

I'm not trying to like be annoying and like stall, but you don't want to understand what a big deal it is for me.

I've never had balsamic vinegar in my life.

Like I think it is the most disgusting sauce or whatever you want to call it on the planet.

Like, when people dip it into their breads, like, I immediately think they're disgusting, and I won't, like, go near them because their breast smells.

Wow.

I like to dip my bread in oil.

And I know.

So does Ben.

Okay.

Are you filming this for your TikTok?

I mean, I'm going to clip it for TikTok.

Okay, so make sure to be like really good for TikTok.

Like, I really can't.

You have to because you brought it up and you can't speak on things which you don't know about.

You don't understand how stubborn I am.

Like, I don't eat things that I don't like to eat.

You know what I mean?

That's how I've literally never had balsamic vinegar vinegar in my life.

Yeah, just do it.

It's like ripping off a band-aid.

It's like ripping off a band-aid.

It'll be over.

It would have been over if you took that.

For sure.

But I just, just to so people think I'm not being dramatic, this is the equivalent of me drinking this is like a normal human being with like a normal taste palate mixing up duty and literally drinking it through a straw.

So I just want to let you know this is what I do for likes and views.

Subscribe.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, seriously, take it.

Like, I'm really gonna throw up.

Oh my god, oh my god, why do we do that?

Drink, you drink it, bitch, you.

Oh my god, I need something stronger.

Oh, drink it, drink it, drink it, you, drink it, drink it.

How did this become about me?

Me on the show, come on, you drink it.

How did this become about me?

Oh my god, I'm not gonna be able to breathe through my nose for the rest of the show.

Like, how do you get it?

Go eat a snack, you want goldfish?

No, no, I want you to drink it.

You're not getting out of this.

You guys, guys, it's fucking sick.

Oh, I can't breathe.

What do you think?

Like, it's, it's not the, it's obviously like not Coke, but like if someone served that to you, to me, not to you, because clearly you can't handle it.

But if someone served that to me at a restaurant, I'd be like, ew, this restaurant has disgusting Diet Coke.

No, that cannot be mistaken for Diet Coke.

No, like, it could be.

It has the consistency.

It could be.

I could see why a Pilates instructor would think so.

You guys, I'm literally never going to be the same.

Like, deadass.

You need to cleanse your palate.

You need an amuse bouche.

I need a doughnut.

Grab some goldfish for her.

Oh, my God.

You need to amuse your bouche, girl.

And if I'm like burping it up, like, this is really one of the worst things you guys have ever made me do.

Throw out.

Yeah, I need to use something.

That's the price of being on TikTok.

So true.

Honestly, it's too expensive.

Do you know what I did last night?

What?

Download a TikTok?

Nope.

Close.

I stalked your TikTok on Zach's phone.

Oh, wow.

And the people really love us.

Honestly, the people really love you.

Yeah, they were saying, well, of course I looked at the videos where it's like, I'm shining.

And they were saying such nice things about your girl.

You know, last time I was on TikTok and like, if I ever dared to post something like without makeup, they said I looked like a boy.

That was mean.

They said, who's this boy?

That is mean.

I said, that's a girl.

Okay, I feel better.

You just need to amuse your bouche.

Like, thank you for making me do that, do that.

Like, I.

You for the content.

Your TikTok is is probably going to blow up.

I'm disgusted.

But what if you got 5,000 followers from this?

Would it be worth it?

Yeah.

Everyone,

get to tap in.

Yeah, for sure.

So, thank you for making me do that.

Now we can finally move on with today's show.

Like, literally, when you guys came up with the idea yesterday, like, I haven't thought of anything but like.

Like, really?

You came up with the idea.

You're the one who chose that story.

You're the one who's.

It wasn't my idea to try it ever.

No, but like, you were not.

If you never brought it up, you wouldn't be trying it.

And if I never brought it up, we wouldn't be the relevant, iconic show that we are.

That's also true.

So we do what we have to do to be like

who we are, which is everything of the sort.

Facts.

She's speaking facts today, you guys, for Friday, Triday.

We have a great show.

We've got five stories that are bleak.

They're depressing, honestly.

And then we have the Kardashians recap, a new episode of The Kardashians on Hulu,

the Tristan of it all.

So, we'll get into that.

Anything else you want to catch up on?

It's also Friday, so I would be remiss.

I would be devastated, and I would be heartbroken.

If I didn't remind you guys that today's Friday, it is the furthest away from the weekend we are ever going to be.

Nope, that's not true.

Furthest away from Monday we are ever going to be.

That's true.

I want you to acknowledge the space that you're in, close your eyes for a moment, just acknowledge it, realize how blessed we are.

It could be a Tuesday, but it's not.

It's a Friday.

We've got Saturday and Sunday coming up, and it's not over yet.

You know, it's just beginning.

It's all on the horizon.

It's all exciting.

Think about that.

Take a second.

Matter of fact.

That was so peaceful.

Namaste.

I'm everyone.

I really think we should do manifestations, not manifestations, meditations.

Okay.

Where we have everyone acknowledge the space that we're in and we just talk about the days of the week.

We should start like a whole other podcast.

Every day, it's like a five-minute meditation about what day it is and how you're going to get through it.

And it's called

Thriday.

Sure.

Shriday.

Shriday.

Yeah, okay.

I'm ready.

Yeah, because I like meditating is really, I was just meditating and I really was present in your guided meditation, and I feel so relaxed.

Like, not to

meditate for you.

Well, I was going to say, not to insult the meditation community.

Like, I think it's a hoax.

Okay.

And I'm maybe, maybe just for me, like, I'm incapable of meditating.

Okay.

Can you?

Yeah.

I know.

That's where we made you drink balsamic vinegar.

I don't know if we can restore your peace, but I'm really trying to pick.

And do your hands like this, how I did.

Something about it's peaceful.

No, there's nothing peaceful about using my muscles to hold my arms up.

Like, if I want to be at peace, like, my limbs are totally relaxed.

Like, even I need to uncross my legs.

Like,

any sort of strain on my body will not relax me.

Okay, close your eyes.

Picture this.

It's Friday.

You're getting into bed.

You go to your phone.

Should I set my alarm?

No.

We are ushering in some alarm-free living.

How long will I sleep?

It's anybody's guess.

It's in God's hands now.

You're not part of meditation.

I've got Theo beside me.

He's freshly groomed.

He said, Mommy, I'm tired.

Can we sleep 12 hours?

You say, Of course, Theo, because it's Friday.

Namaste.

That didn't sound like meditation.

It sounds like you were reading me a children's book, and like that was the end of it.

Like, it's Friday.

That's a really good way for our book to end.

Yeah, we should also, while we're doing new business ventures, Mogul Energy, we should also write a children's book about days of the week.

We'll release seven of them.

Yeah.

And, you know, it'll be a cash grab because you have to buy every single book in order for the kids to learn the days of the week.

Right.

And we teach them at a young age which days to appreciate and which days to like put a brave face on for.

Yeah, which days to just

like truck through, you know?

100%.

Keep your head down.

It'll be over soon.

It'll be over soon.

Just like get through it.

Yeah.

I love that.

Let's put that on our list of mogul aspirations.

And of course, the children's book where it's Bruno, Theo, Butters and Mystery, taking on the town.

Right, right, right, right, right, right.

Taking the town.

Right, right, right.

People were really kind of swept up in our dog group drama yesterday.

I have to be honest, when we were telling the story, I felt like it was something that I, like, I find so much personal joy in thinking about the dynamics of the dog walk.

And we go back and forth, like LARPing and coming up with scenarios of what these dogs are thinking and going through.

And I really didn't think it was going to resonate so deeply with everyone.

And I'm so, I feel so seen that it has, you know, me too, truly.

And I can't wait to see Butters later today.

I know.

Did I see Butters yesterday?

I saw him yesterday.

Oh, no, I was out of pocket, but

mystery remains a mystery.

And that's that's on being mysterious.

You love that for her.

You do.

Namesake.

Unclear, gender-wise.

So I guess without further ado, we can get into the fast-five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

Because the sooner we do, the sooner it's the weekend.

It's so true for us.

You know, for them too, because then this hour has passed.

Right, right, right.

And you're one hour closer to alarm-free living.

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Great.

Okay, our first story.

Brittany's wedding evening.

Lots to discuss.

A lot of pictures have emerged, thankfully.

As we said yesterday, we were looking forward to seeing them.

And as predicted by us, there was no major exclusive.

It was like all just on Brittany's Instagram.

Yeah, but like, where are all these pictures from?

There are so, like, the Daily Mail has 90 pictures that are like the photographer pictures.

Yeah, I guess like.

And there's no exclusive, right?

Everyone's posting them.

It was probably just PR like releasing them.

Like, yeah, no, but I'm very grateful because it was star-studded.

It was.

So, Brittany wowed in a Versace gown as she tied the knot for the third time with Sam Ashgari in a fairy tale ceremony before dancing the night away with A-list guests, including Drew Barrymore, Selena Gomez, Madonna, Paris Hilton, Ansel Elgort.

Ansel Elgort was there, but also it was a small wedding.

There was like 50 people, and those are her close personal friends.

The Selena Gomez one was the real shock to to me.

Yeah, Ansel Elgore was shocking too.

Yeah, Drew Barrymore wasn't shocking.

They've had like a public like friendship budding over the last couple years because I think Drew feels like very connected to Brittany in the sense like child stars perhaps exploited by their parents.

Like they have this kinship and I actually really, really liked Drew Barrymore, so I was happy she was there.

Madonna obviously and Britney go back to making out on the VMAs.

Selena Gomez was unique for sure.

Yeah, but she was dancing the night away.

There was a lot of action shots from the party.

Yeah, and you know what I really liked about Selena first of all?

She looks like like she was having so much fun.

Like in the picture, she's like sweaty and she's like dancing kind of like crazy, but like she doesn't care.

She looks like she's having so much fun, which we love.

Yeah.

And she wore a jumpsuit, which like to be able to pull off a jumpsuit to a wedding is so difficult.

Well, it's a Thursday night affair, so jumpsuit is in play.

Yeah.

And she looked really great.

And also, you were so right.

The wedding was giving...

chew galicious.

But that's why we, that's why we stand.

Like, that's why we can't.

But it was like absolutely gorgeous.

Like, look at this photo quickly from the Daily Mail.

Like, that's stuff.

There was like a horse and carriage.

It was very, it was a very Disney wedding.

Yeah.

And she wore a Versace gown, not a crop top.

Thigh high slit.

Some of this stuff is like confusing.

Like, do you see this picture of her in the dress?

In the red dress?

No, in like her foyer, and there's a broom in the back.

Yeah, no, that's Britney.

Like, if it's not happening in her foyer, she's not going to participate.

That's true.

But her foyer?

No, her foyer is so

honestly should be made a landmark.

Like her foyer has witnessed so many iconic dance videos.

So the fact that like the first wedding photo we saw was in that exact foyer, it feels right.

Yeah, that's true.

There was also a lot of breaking news coming out of the wedding.

Like, her first husband or second husband, Jason Alexander, who were they were married for five seconds, literally, it was less than a day, crashed the wedding.

He was arrested.

Okay, I have two things to say about that.

First of all, like the fact that George Costanza didn't crash the wedding was beyond confusing to me.

I will never get over the fact that Brittany married someone with the same name as the man who plays George Costanza.

And like, you're never going to say Jason Alexander, and I'm not going to think of George Costanza.

Right.

So I'm always like jarred.

I'm like, Jason, George Costanza was at the wedding.

And then it takes a second for me to, you know, adjust to reality.

And the second thing is he was crashing the wedding, like literally breaking into her house all on Instagram live.

And like for someone the level of fame that Brittany is, like the way that her security guards literally followed him around, like letting him Instagram like the wedding, he went inside the tent.

He was in her house.

Tackle this man.

He's literally trespassing.

That's so crazy.

It was so weird, like the relaxed level of the security.

And what were his intentions to stop the wedding?

He wanted to see Brittany.

To get her back?

I don't know.

He wanted to see Brittany.

He was like in the house screaming, Brittany, where are you?

That's crazy.

Unwell.

Also, her sons were not at the wedding.

Right, which is so sad because then that means like literally no family was at the wedding except for I think her brother, who I'm not even familiar with.

I wonder why her sons weren't there.

And also they're like grown now.

They're 15 and 16.

Like they're making their own decisions.

Yeah.

If they really had wanted to be there, I don't think that their dad could have stopped them.

Yeah.

But it was Kevin's attorney who said that they're not going to be at the wedding, Kevin Federlein.

Yeah.

They think the focus of the day should be on Britney and Sam, and they're very happy for her moving forward, says their attorney.

If they were happy, they would be there.

It's a simcha.

There's something weird.

I just, like, I feel and I really think weird, I would say.

So, there's two things I want to say.

The first is that I really have this feeling, and I hope that it's true that, like, Kevin Federlein is an amazing dad.

Like, I really kind of feel that way, and I hope that he is.

The second thing I want to say is that while I think this is great,

I think, I I don't,

I think this is a simcha for sure.

And there's so much to celebrate in the last year for Brittany.

Um,

but I feel like there's kind of like something we're all like thinking, but like not saying.

And it's like, is Brittany really truly okay?

Yeah.

Just, and you know, you really do never know what's going on with someone like behind closed doors, but the things we see, it's all very confusing.

Yeah.

So I just, I hope that she's okay, honestly.

Like, I don't know what her current like status is, but I just, I just would want it to say that.

Yeah, I think there's concern from everyone.

I mean, I think people can be like really weird on social media, but also be fine.

But there's a lot of question marks and flags that look a shade of red.

Right, but we just kind of move past it because we're so happy for Brittany in this new era of her life, which I agree with.

But I just really do want to make, I really hope there are people around her who actually care for her.

Because I think she got to a place where everyone around her was an enemy.

So she literally got rid of everyone.

Under the guise of caring for her.

So now it's like she wants freedom.

And that also includes like not having people overseeing.

I'm sure she's trepidatious of people who claim to care about her.

Right.

Because it's backfired.

So I don't know.

I just like the whole thing kind of gives me like a little bit of a pit.

Yeah, for sure.

Especially hearing that the kids weren't there.

I know.

Also, people were saying yesterday that Kevin Federline is like a couch potato and just like living off.

the land and

yes not rocking the boat because he's in a pretty nice boat but if if he's living off the land, but like taking really good care of the kids, like I'm okay with that.

Yeah.

This is a unique.

Usually like men who leech off of successful women, like literally, I want to run you over with my car.

I think there's nothing more disgusting.

But in this scenario, I'm issuing

an exemption.

Yeah.

Especially if he has majority custody.

He's raising the kids.

That takes some funds.

I agree.

And I think it's okay.

Assuming that's the situation.

But again, there's a lot here that remains unclear.

It's a lot to unpack, but at the end of the day, she looked really pretty.

The wedding was pretty.

It was

excited.

It was.

It was really like quite gorgeous

and very lovely, really like textbook fairy tale wedding, you know?

Yeah, and that's so Britney's aesthetic.

So she's, you know what?

I love when you go to a wedding, you could see like the bride came through in like her vibe, her interests, her choices, her likes.

And that's like this, Brittany.

If you show me this wedding, it was like, which celebrity wedding is this?

I'm like, it's obviously Britney's witness.

The vibe came through for sure.

Yeah.

And nice to have her celeb friends show up.

Yeah.

And it looked like they had had a nice time.

Yeah.

Are we ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Crystal Kong-Mankoff suggests that Sutton told a different problematic story.

It's the tale that never ends.

No, it's literally like the crystal who cried wolf.

Uh-huh.

Crystal.

I'm so inclined not to believe her.

The Crystal who called problematic.

Yeah.

Crystal insinuated that Sutton told an even darker story than the one revealed on Wednesday's episode of Beverly Hills.

Crystal appeared on Watch What Happens Live on Wednesday and surprisingly agreed with fans who said that Sutton's story about her daughter having multicultural friends at a pool party wasn't an issue.

But why at the dinner did she literally ask ourselves, don't you think that's problematic?

Because this woman is getting caught in her lie.

Yeah.

She said something else was.

Here she goes again.

Well, that story wasn't problematic, she said to Andy, who paused and said, there's another story.

The housewife appeared to have something on the tip of her tongue, but decided not to divulge the details.

So you're telling me Crystal's getting dragged, like literally, I've never seen a housewife in Beverly Hills get dragged like so ruthlessly on social media.

She's getting dragged to no extent.

And she still has something she could technically come out with, like the truth, but she's not doing it to protect Sutton, who literally just blew up at her.

It's so, it's so unbelievable.

No, and they're like coming at her with, you know, concern about like what she said and her behavior.

And she's going back to her original retort, which is like Garcell, you know, questioned what she did.

So she was like, no, Sutton said something bad.

Now, fast forward however many months, they're coming for her for what she's doing.

No, Sutton said something bad.

It's like, did not learn the first time.

Either say it, as we've stated, say it, or don't mention it.

No, and you know what?

I really cannot think of a housewife in recent history who's had a worse start to a season, especially like a brand new housewife.

I think there's like a whole thing about the second season curse.

Like, no matter how good or whatever your first season was, second season is always rough for a new housewife.

I honestly cannot

remember a housewife who had a worse season so quickly.

What are we on?

The third episode?

Yeah.

Like, and her offline actions are making it worse.

Right.

It's not getting better.

What is she doing?

I don't know.

I have no idea.

She would be better off

explaining, even if she believed it or not, coming up with a reason why she found what Sutton said to be problematic.

Right.

Because then it's like, all right, at least you're not lying.

You're just like, I think.

It's a bad take.

It's a bad take.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She would be better off just like sticking to her guns, even if like she doesn't feel that way.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, as opposed to digging another.

Right, this route that she's taking to get herself out of this mess is one of the worst, I think.

think no she's doing the exact same thing and she said look sutton i sutta and i know what was said and we've spoken at length about it and she has apologized to me privately and publicly so if she apologized publicly then we know what it was and it was what she said i see color that we no i don't see color yeah that we already know about i can't deal with the way but you know what she might do she might spin it so far that we stop caring uh keeping up that's an interesting route to take like fatigue fatigue is definitely real like you just go back and forth in drama so much, so many times that the audience can't keep up and they just stop caring.

Yeah.

That's good.

But I don't know if Crystal is experienced enough as a housewife and like clug enough to know that that's an option.

She's just really being who she is.

Yep.

And that might naturally be how this ends for her.

Right.

Fatigue.

This is so weird.

Like not at all what I was expecting to happen this season on Beverly Hills.

No, so weird.

So weird.

Are you ready for our next story, though?

I think I am.

Jeffrey Epstein's pedophile island gets a price cut after two months for sale.

It's no surprise that Jeffrey Epstein's two islands in the Caribbean, notoriously referred to as Pedophile Island, are having a hard time scoring a buyer.

The islands known as Great St.

James and Little St.

James listed together in March for $125 million, but now they're hitting the market separately for $55 million apiece, representing a 12% reduction in overall ask.

And combined, they're now going for $110 million.

Yeah.

You were on maternity leave when we first announced that they were on the market for $125, and me and Ben were like, what are they going to do?

And Ben actually thought like a hotel chain should buy it

and just take over the whole property.

And in a few years, people would forget.

And it's not like you're not going to go to a great hotel just because years ago something bad happened, would you?

Well, they would have to raise the whole house and everything.

You know, they would get rid of everything and literally build a resort on its own island.

Yeah.

Like Marriott should buy it or something.

Yeah, no, that's a good idea, like assuming there's no dead bodies or anything.

Right.

You'd have to do a major excavation.

Yeah.

Or, I mean, if you're a rich person in the market for an island, you just wait this out because the price is going to go down a little bit more.

But whoever

buys it needs to destroy the house.

And I think even if it wasn't previously pedophile island, like rich people don't live in other people's houses.

Like when you buy a house and you're like so rich, you destroy it and like make yourself a new one.

Especially when it's an island.

But his townhouse in New York, like

it was bought, right?

I mean, it's such an iconic, rare piece of real estate.

Like, I think the fact that it was up for sale was so rare, people didn't care that it was literally the breeding ground for grooming and pedophilia.

Right.

So that makes sense to me.

But I think, like, in terms of private islands, like, I think they're a bunch for sale.

Like, I don't think it's like once in a lifetime opportunity goes up for sale.

Like, if you're super rich, like, you can buy your own island.

They're all over the Virgin Islands.

Oh, interesting.

But this is a good price.

Yeah, no.

And if it keeps going down, like, a very

either a frugal billionaire or someone who might have not been able to afford an island gets an island.

Right.

But it's actually so crazy.

Like the whole island thing, when I was in the British Virgin Islands, we were taking a boat between islands and like the guy who, the captain, was just like pointing to different islands.

Like the guy who started Google over there, Richard Branson, like it's like a thing.

Like everyone has their own island.

It's crazy.

That is crazy.

And then when the place sells, where do the proceeds go?

Who gets the money?

I'm sure there are many lawsuits against his estate.

And them liquidating all of their assets is to pay those legal fees, people who have sued him.

I'm sure there's a place for the money.

But you're right, he didn't have any kids.

Like, if there's anything left over in Jeffrey Epstein's estate, where does that go?

Good question.

Also, his Manhattan mansion sold for $51 million in March.

I mean, and his Palm Beach home sold for $18.5 million.

Again, another piece of real estate that just doesn't come available very often.

And the Palm Beach house has already been torn down.

Yeah, of course.

Like, see, that doesn't surprise me because scandal or not, like, real estate is real estate.

And in New York and Palm Beach, like, you'd be hard pressed to find a townhouse on the Upper East Side that's literally been standing since like the 1700s, and you'd be hard-pressed to find an oceanfront beach house.

Everyone flocked to Palm Beach during all the rich people flocked to Palm Beach during the pandemic.

There's no real estate, like that's not shocking at all.

But like this random island where it's like, also, the island was, first of all, none of his other houses had names.

Pedophilia Island makes it hard to sell.

And that really was like the major, major breeding ground.

I think the abuse happened at all of his homes, but that one was like the most notorious.

And the plane to the Lolita Express to the pedophile island, like it was really the center of the scandal.

Yeah.

Like even on Netflix, when you go watch his documentary, Filthy Rich, it's a picture of the island.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well,

maybe it'll get cheap enough that we can buy it.

$110 million.

I will take it for $35.

What would you pay for it?

I think we had this conversation.

A million dollars.

Yeah, a million dollars.

Yeah.

You never know.

You never know.

Times are tough, too.

Yeah.

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Great.

Our next story, Rebel Wilson just came out on Instagram by posting a cute picture with her girlfriend.

So Rebel Rebel Wilson took to Instagram to post a picture with her girlfriend, Ramona Agruma.

She captioned it saying, I thought I was searching for a Disney prince, but maybe what I really needed all this time was a Disney princess.

The caption is giving chugi, but I'm so happy for her.

But I just had to point out, like, it's like really like a

Britney Spears level too delicious.

100%.

And now you can go back and see, like, she actually has been stepping out with her girlfriend for a while now.

Brought her to the Vanity Fair Oscar's party.

Right.

And now she's confirming the romance.

This was shocking.

Yeah.

And also, I guess, like, I'm not used to Rebel Wilson is like reaching a new level of fame now where, like, previously, I feel like we knew her strictly professionally and she was like never telling us about her personal life, you know?

Yeah.

But I think now that she seems to be in this great place in her life, she feels comfortable opening up.

She's opened up a lot about her weight loss and now her love life.

Sharing a lot over the last few months in general.

It was getting to be like Rebel's Mindless News a little bit.

I believe we've spoken about this already.

I am getting getting Rebel fatigue because it's giving mindless news.

It's giving Kelly Rippa.

So that doesn't take away from the fact that I'm happy for her for finding up until now.

It had been giving

Rebel's Mindless News.

Yeah.

But now this is Mindful News.

No, this is like something newsworthy.

Yeah.

So I'm really happy for her, but I'm glad you pointed it out.

She's definitely taken an interesting PR turn in the last year.

Yeah, of just like selling every feeling she's having.

And it started out slow because she was like living in Australia and like was slowly documenting her weight loss on social media and every time she did it was like a huge news story and then she's like I think when she like completed her fitness journey She started working again and doing more movies and more press and like then it got to a place where it was like it's a lot.

Yeah, and just like sharing, you know, we talked about that story, even though this was more mindful that like her agents were saying that she shouldn't lose weight.

That would like ruin her career or something like that.

Did you watch senior year, her Netflix movie?

No, but I saw the trailer.

It looks good and I've heard good things.

Me and Ben watched it I didn't finish it not because it was bad but like I just can't watch movies like I find them to be so long um so I watched the first half and I was enjoying it and Ben finished it and really liked it and I think that you would like it I think I would too like the way they encapsulate like being a 17 year old in like the early 2000s is on point that's funny it's like really um Maybe it's not early 2000s.

I think it's maybe 90s.

It's like butterfly clips, Mandy Moore, Candy, driving a punch buggy.

Like it's really, they nail it, honestly.

Okay, I will watch it.

it i have i haven't watched tv aside from homework in weeks um but i will add it to my content plate i need to start you know writing things down i know because i need to go to the movies and see downtown abby top gun and elvis and um like i know i'm never gonna do it and that makes me sad because i do really want to so badly you know and they like people i'm always reading like instagram quotes and like inspirational like shit that's like you are literally in charge of your own destiny like you want something make it happen like i want to see top gun and i can make it happen but i know that it will never happen.

It's like, I'm really not in charge of my destiny.

No, it's like you want to have seen Top Gun, but you don't want to go see Top Gun.

Right.

We should just go and then we stop talking about it.

No, I know.

We need to spend like one whole day in the theater.

No, we talked about why we can't do that.

You can't do, you can't do double headers.

Okay, so we're going to the movies, and Elvis is playing,

Downtown Abbey's playing, and Top Gun's playing.

What are we seeing?

Top Gun.

Top Gun, because I still want to watch Downtown Abbey in my home.

Top Gun, like, I think it's a theatrical experience.

I agree.

And everybody's talking about it, and like, we're missing it.

Yeah, we really.

Maybe we'll do it this weekend.

I think we should.

Like, why not?

Why not?

Let's look at times.

Totally.

Okay.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Oh my god.

Our final story.

Our fifth and final story on the fifth and final day of the week, you guys.

It doesn't get more final than that.

Beautiful.

It doesn't get more final.

Do you have a song in your heart?

Oh, right.

I was like, oh, right.

I was like, go.

She's so scary.

So, like, balsamic in my throat.

It's the, mmm, no.

It's the final story.

It's a final story.

Balsamic vinegar tastes like your sister's ass.

And that's a magic number.

She wants balsamic now.

You know,

you know,

have you ever heard the phrase your sister's ass?

From you?

Yeah, I kind of want to start incorporating that into like my everyday jargon.

You're in charge of your own destiny.

I know, so I know it won't happen.

So, did you crawl up your sister's ass?

And it smelled like your sister's ass.

What's that from?

Okay, I'm glad you brought it up.

When me and Ben were in Puerto Rico, no, you, I'm glad you asked.

When me and Ben were in Puerto Rico a few years ago, we were staying at a hotel and there was a casino in the hotel.

So obviously like every night we went to the casino and like it started to be like the same people every night.

It's like we started like became like a family.

And it was these.

It was a bunch of people, but the two people me and Ben liked the best until like the very last night when they said something hella anti-Semitic.

And I was like, we gotta go.

But up until then, it was all fun.

Their names were Mike and Connie and they were like classic.

I think he was like a full-time bookie.

She was a cocktail waitress.

They were like so iconic jersey.

And every time he lost a hand, he would literally slam his fist on the table like, oh, your sister's ass.

So me and Ben started saying it a lot.

Cute.

I'm glad you guys took that trip to Puerto Rico because it's really provided you a lot of content over the years.

What else?

You just like to talk about Mike and Connie a lot.

I literally would take a bullet for them.

And I'm actually almost 100% sure I have one of their phone numbers.

Just give me a second.

Should you call him and say your sister's ass?

But it was funny because like we only hung out at night and then like the crew started to get like tight.

Like there was this other couple, this bald guy who was really hot and like his girlfriend who was really hot and they were like we're gonna go to this like special beach cave tomorrow like do you guys want to come and like when we were drunk we were like yeah sure when i woke up i'm like you want me to be seen with these people in the light of day there's literally no way all right let me check connie connie with why no mike

connie is ie You know, I also checked with a Y.

No, I guess I don't have their number.

Ben probably does.

I'm sure Ben gets lunch with him once a month.

100%.

Okay, yeah, I'm ready for the fifth final.

Okay, Khloe Kardashian confirms that Kim is in love with Pete Davidson.

Chloe adorably responded to a tweet about how in love Kim is with boyfriend Pete Davidson while watching Thursday's episode of The Kardashians.

When a Twitter user wrote, Kimberly is in love, LMAO.

It's so cute, Chloe replied, isn't it?

She is in love.

Chloe was making a lot of waves on her Twitter.

She also liked a tweet that was like, fuck Josephine Thompson.

Good.

Yeah, good.

It's about time she comes back out swinging, you know?

Yeah.

She's been far too kind.

And I get it, like a father of true.

I get it.

And maybe it's because I don't have kids, but like, how about no, no, no, when is Tristan gonna be like, it's mother of true, and maybe I should respect this woman.

Right, no, it's like he doesn't respect the familial bond between them.

Why the fuck should Chloe?

Why should familial respect only flow in one direction?

100%.

But back to Kim and Pete, like super happy for them.

Do they're in love?

They were in love on last night's episode also.

She's just smitten as a kitten.

We're going to get into the recap, but before we do, like, did you feel like when she was talking about like Pete and stuff, like, did you, like, cringe a little bit?

Which part?

When she was in the kitchen with Courtney and Chloe, just like talking about like ice cream.

Two episodes ago.

No.

When she was in the kitchen, it was two episodes ago.

She was talking about pimple cream.

Oh, okay.

Then maybe I'm, no, then I'm talking about something else.

Like, when she was like, he asked me to go get ice cream.

I was like, so horny.

I was like, oh, yes.

Cringe.

Cringe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like my shoulders, like...

physically concave.

She said that in the confessional.

She was just trying to talk about like how they just do like small things and just living life with him and being normal is like what turns turns her on these days i guess but yeah it was a weird way to say it it was just like her saying recently that she would eat duty if it made her younger

nobody asked yeah i guess it's like pete rubbing off on her like because he's like kooky and crazy and funny and like

i'm not liking it on kim it's like it's cringe yeah it's just a lot yeah no it's a lot it's just like these are extreme statements yeah nobody asked you to make um okay so let's dive into the tv recap which is brought to you by the breeze luminesce so you've got to check out luminesce and their new breeze cordless Airbrush Makeup.

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Awesome.

Okay, The Kardashians, episode nine.

Let's go sister by sister.

Okay.

Courtney, you know, I actually thought it was really interesting that a storyline was the show.

It was like very meta, breaking the fourth wall.

She's mad that, like, when she saw the edited episode of The Engagement, there was a whole storyline about Scott because, in real life, she was like, it was literally a five-second conversation.

The whole night wasn't about it.

And literally, nobody was talking about it.

And I kind of do understand her frustration.

Yeah, no, she's totally on point.

It's just like, as a viewer, I like care about Scott and I worry about like his integration into the family and I want him to be at everything.

So yeah, that's what we're all thinking.

But if I'm Courtney, you people are crazy.

Yeah.

I'm in the happiest place in my life.

I'm living a fairy tale.

What else is there to talk about?

Me and Scott haven't been together for five years.

She mistreated me for 10 years and then for five years still couldn't be the man that I needed him to be.

And now, not only is she in a fairy tale relationship, like she's with Travis Barker, another interesting human being.

Like another star.

She's dating some nobody that we don't care to know about.

Totally.

They're blending families.

Like they've got so much going on.

They're doing their voodoo stuff.

Yeah.

Like it's interesting stuff.

No, she's totally justified.

Yeah.

Even though as a viewer, like, I am wondering, where does God fit into all of this?

Right.

But if I'm her, I'm just like, you people are crazy and I'm offended.

But do you feel like they like moved forward like a bunch of time?

since the engagement?

Yeah.

Because if she's already seeing the episodes ended.

It got confusing because it feels like they fast already jumped like Kylie's about to give birth.

Right.

But what about Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Right.

So I was really confused.

And then Kim Shot SI, she was doing that in January.

And they were talking, and that was also the same time where like Kanye was out with Julia Fox.

So when they were talking about, you know, she wants the drama, like she's talking about that.

The last time we saw them, it was the beginning of November.

Right.

So I'm actually, I like that they're talking about things.

Like we just saw Kim came out on Sports Illustrated, so now we get to see the photo shoot.

Like I like that the time has kind of crunched a little bit but i did feel like they took a huge chunk out and maybe it was because of astrow world

yes

maybe i think maybe they like probably stopped filming for a while for the holidays and took a break but like can you let us know it was confusing because i'm like you got engaged like three episodes ago how are you already seeing the final cut no what was confusing to me was i thought it was november and then they were like kylie's about to give birth but she gave birth in february right but then kim was doing si and that was in january so it was obviously like these were the last weeks of January.

Confusing.

Yes.

So that was Courtney.

And then I think there was something else with Courtney.

Oh, Benny drama.

I have to say, I enjoyed that immensely.

First of all, I loved the video when it came out of Benny at Courtney's house.

I think Benny is so funny and talented.

And he was great on the show.

Like, I loved it.

No, he was great on the show, and he was also great in Courtney's presence.

Like, I feel like when you get...

famous for doing spoofs or just being a fan of someone, like it can be all into like van mode, but he was businessman comedian mode.

Like what are we doing and how are we doing it he killed it and he's so funny like i i loved it yeah um and then kim went to the dominican republic which just looks like the worst trip of all time like strep throat in a pool no thank you but she did look really beautiful in si and two things one i loved seeing mj day like that was so iconic yeah and two

I guess I didn't really realize like how different Kim looks now than she did even in January, like before the Met Gala.

Because of her weight loss?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I I was, everyone was like, she lost so much weight.

I'm like, she literally looks the same.

She doesn't look the same now because when she was in the bikini and then we've been seeing her like looking, she looks so, she really did lose a lot of weight.

I didn't notice.

Yeah.

Because I think it like, I don't know, I just didn't notice it.

Yeah.

No, the SI stuff was really interesting.

And then also doing skims and it's just a lot.

Also, I love, it's crazy how she's so close with Natalie and Olivia.

I know.

But also, we don't like see the ins and outs of their friendship to like understand why they're so close and how they're so close.

Based on on the show, like Nat and Olivia are mute.

Like they literally don't talk.

Great, but like on Wags and on their own show, they have really big personalities.

And I'm sure they do, but like,

it felt like they were like hired to just ask a question that came good answer so we could have this scene.

No, and they're like, it's so cute.

Yeah.

I was like, say something.

Literally speak.

No, but like those are her two best friends.

She took them to the DR.

Yeah.

I was confused.

Show us like why you're all best friends.

We also finally found out what it was that Pete had delivered to the plane.

It was Dibs ice cream.

Why was that a cliffhanger?

It was such a letdown.

And honestly, like, I do love Dibs.

Like, give me a dib.

I'll consume the entire pack.

But, like, who cares?

It's just like her way of showing us how sweet.

No, and it's her way of showing us their relationship without showing us the relationship, you know?

Yeah, but eventually she will show us the relationship, especially because they're so serious.

Yeah.

It's just shocking.

But is he living with her now?

I don't know because as reported earlier on the morning toast, even though we didn't talk about it, Pete was out walking around with Saint at Walmart.

I still don't care about that.

But I have to imagine, like, he doesn't come to L.A.

and stay at a hotel.

No, and he's not flying back once a week anymore for SNL.

Right.

And he wasn't even barely doing it at that.

So

he definitely lives in L.A.

I'm sure he has his own place that he never goes to.

I don't think he has a place in L.A.

I do because Kim is always doing stuff like busy, busy.

He's not going to like chill in her house with her.

Maybe her guest house.

No.

I think he has his own place, but like when Kim is home, he's there.

And when Kim's not there, he's at his own place.

Because he's like friends and stuff.

He likes to smoke weed.

He's not gonna smoke weed with the kids.

Maybe he stays at a friend's place.

I don't think he has his own place.

I don't know.

We need to know more.

We'll find out in a year on The Kardashian.

This is a case for the FBI.

It is a case for the FBI.

And then my favorite storyline of the episode was the Good American.

Same, the open casting.

Open casting.

One, this show has just become a large commercial for all of their brands.

Like the amount of Good American promo that we got, beyond like the interesting part that I did enjoy, it was like explaining what Good American is, showing all the clothes.

It's just a commercial.

The fact that they literally will not sell into a store that doesn't buy the full size range is the most iconic thing I've ever heard.

Yeah, no, but like, and they won't put them all, you have to be on the same floor.

You don't get bigger sizes on a different floor.

I feel like last week it was Skims.

Yeah.

It's a commercial for their brands.

And I'd never, it doesn't bother me and it never has bothered me, but I'm really starting to notice it now.

Where it's like, I feel like I'm watching a paid infomercial.

Yeah, even though the zooms where she was like telling people they weren't.

If you didn't have a tear in your eye, I don't want to talk to you.

I'm crying.

Like, it was so sweet.

And I just like, what I've gathered from this show is many things.

But I think my biggest takeaway from this new show, where we, I feel like we're really getting to know the girls' personalities on a different level, is like.

Chloe is like a once-in-a-lifetime kind of like soul.

I think she's literally so kind.

I've never seen someone just like rally and back up her friends more.

And it's also someone who's been through a lot.

Like, and she doesn't like walk around, woe is me.

And she's just like, like, my takeaway, and even at Simon's wedding when I was like in their presence, my takeaway there was like, if I had to hang out with one of them, I'd want to hang out with Chloe.

She was literally there all night drinking, taking shots, dancing with the gays.

Like it was so iconic.

Last person on the dance floor.

I just feel like.

The show has done wonders for all of them, but I feel like it really showed us who Chloe is.

Yeah.

And I love what I'm seeing.

But it also makes all of these scandals, these Tristan stuff sadder even more because she deserves love and just like a strong partner companion so much.

And she's clearly just the type of person, because we're all like, oh my gosh, you got back together with Tristan again.

She's clearly just this girl who's like hopeless, like a hopeless romantic, really has like belief and trust in people.

Not even that.

I don't blame her for getting back with Tristan.

Like he was so far up her ass and the whole family and begging her and begging her and I'm going to be different.

And like at a certain point, it's like, okay, shut up.

We'll get back together.

Like you are the father of my child.

This is, I at one point was attracted to you you and liked you.

It would be easiest if we got back together.

So I don't think it's because she, like, can't quit him.

I think it's because, like, he's so fucking annoying.

No, and, like, for him to be so fucking annoying while still fucking around is literal mental illness.

Psychopath, diabolical, lock him up

in an institution because this man is

unwell.

You're so right.

Like, 100%.

So I think now, like, it just, she kept like believing that he would change because he went to such lengths to show her that we would, even for all of us I was fine with them getting back together sat down with Chris like he really you're right went to such extremes just to do it all again why so weird and like I don't fault her for getting back together with him when Kim was putting it all together like he had sex with her on her 30th birthday Chloe threw him his 30th birthday party like that Then it also made me think, is there a big age difference between Chloe and Tristan?

Chloe's still in her 30s, but she's in her high 30s.

Yes.

And he just turned 30.

Yeah.

And so he's clearly extremely immature.

Yeah.

But when he was, when they were first getting together, he's probably like 27, 26.

That is kind of young.

Not to make any excuse.

No, I mean, excuse me, I'm 27.

I've been married for five years.

Right.

But like to be a 26-year-old athlete, like

in the prime of your career, you're going to fuck around.

So don't have a baby and get into a relationship with someone.

It's extremely hard.

And keep asking them to take you back and take you seriously when you're not a serious person.

Yeah.

You're actually like.

Big fat liar.

The morning of, which was just like crazy to see how it all unraveled.

Of course, like Kim knew first.

And then like like the sister conference call like every sister just kept calling and merging calling and merging that was just like it's nice to see how these things go down not that i was happy that it went down obviously um and of course they gave us nothing and they cut to commercial or whatever like next week so we really don't know what chloe's reaction is i don't think she knew anything and i think she is gonna be shook yeah

And I think like this time around, it probably hurts so much more because it's literally fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

This has fooled me three times.

I know.

This is fooled me a third time.

Yeah.

It's moronic.

She just deserves like someone who gives her even 1% of what she gives other people.

That would be Dianu.

Dianu.

Instead, Zilch.

Yeah.

Negative, actually, because they actually detract.

Yeah.

It's not like Kevin Federlein, who just sits on the couch and lives off the land.

Right.

That would be, yeah.

That would be better.

Better, but I mean someone who deserves to be.

Someone like Chloe really deserves.

Someone like Chloe deserves like a once-in-a-lifetime love.

what Courtney and Travis have.

And what Kim and Pete have.

Yeah, like she really, and you know what?

Her time will come and she'll look back on all this, be like, I had to go through that to get to this.

But in this moment, like you just feel sadness for her.

For sure.

And like, just like Courtney, I mean, Courtney never really dated that many people, but just like Kim did, where she's now, like, with someone that she probably never thought that she would be with Pete.

Like, Chloe needs to.

stop dating athletes.

Yeah.

And start dating accountants.

No, and I think like the sisters, like for a while, were really into athletes.

And now they're moving on to like musicians and like comedians.

Comedians, like different, and maybe Chloe, because Chloe's also into athletes, like maybe she'll now go to, you know, maybe skip the basketball game and go to a concert.

Go to like, you know.

A business conference at the Javits Center.

What's the one?

What's the one?

CES.

Yeah, like go to a trade show.

A trade show.

Because she's looking for love in all the wrong places.

Yeah.

Or maybe she'll go to like a comedy festival.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Look at all the headliners.

She's hilariously

nefarious.

Yeah.

And I just want real,

real love for Chloe.

Nobody deserves it more.

And it was a really sad episode.

Yeah, but it was good.

Honestly, the way I watched the episode, it was like I had to pause so many times because I was watching it like all day.

It felt like the longest episode ever, but like in a really good way.

I was like, this episode never ends.

And like no one, it was really just the three older sisters, right?

Kendall wasn't in it?

Kendall Kendall and Chloe went baby shopping.

Boring.

So Kendall wasn't in it.

Try to catch me carry.

Who was Chris?

Chris.

Cachio Pepe.

Cachio Pepe.

She's not married to Corey.

Did you see Corey dancing solo on the plane?

In an episode?

No, on his Instagram.

Yes, I did.

King.

King.

And I know that there was like a few months ago, like a major, like, like allegation about Corey and cheating.

What?

Yeah, like, there was like a video of him in a club with a girl.

And like, I like how we all just breeze past it.

That's not going to work for me.

No, I'm gonna breeze past it too.

Yeah, it was a Corey impersonator, or it was from 10 years ago.

It can't be the Corey that I know and love.

That does not work for me.

It doesn't sit well.

It doesn't sit right.

It's not right.

And him and Chris are together in Capri right now.

So they're good, even though why wasn't he at the wedding?

He must have had COVID.

That can only be the reason.

That's what people said, but he was also like out and about getting coffee.

So that's not gonna work for me.

Not wearing a mask.

That's not gonna work for me either.

No, I know.

Don't even put this in my head.

I know.

Then I'm like...

Done.

Then I'm going to actually just sell my whole ship enterprise.

I'm going to get out of the business of shipbuilding because I can't take any more destruction.

No, they're like your first big investment.

They're one of my biggest ships.

Yeah.

I'm obsessed.

No, I think they're good, but like there was something.

So that was the Kardashians recap.

That is our show.

Anything else you want to say to everyone before we sign off for the week?

No, have an amazing weekend.

Make sure to acknowledge the space that you're in.

Meditate.

Take the time.

Take stock.

Hug a strice.

And enjoy your weekend, you guys, because it'll be Monday before you know it, and it'll be back on the hamster wheel.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Bye.

Bye.