S5 Ep46: Coachella, Revolve and Personal Accountability: Monday, April 18th, 2022

Good morning millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Monday.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

I am honored, humbled, excited, and just beyond relieved to have my co-host back.

Jackie, thank you so much for being here.

I cannot tell you how much I've missed you.

You're so welcome.

Why don't you

sit this one out?

You know, chill, enjoy.

This was such a big weekend, like on all fronts.

So many holidays, Coachella, so much to discuss.

So I feel very good about being here on a Monday.

No, we needed you today.

Yeah, there's so much to talk about.

I know.

I was glued to my phone this weekend and I didn't, I don't, I didn't expect that from myself.

Like, I've been very, you know, out

disconnected from what's going on in the world.

And I didn't think that I would be like so

glued to what was going on at Coachella this weekend, but I did not turn my TV on once.

That's also because I opted to read this weekend instead of watch TV.

But I also was realizing I was on my phone the whole weekend, like wanting to see the looks, wanting to see what was happening.

And we will be recapping all of it.

But how was your weekend?

It was good.

You know, it was a holiday.

So it was a different kind of weekend for me.

I'm not usually like, you know, spending the entire weekend, like not drinking, you know, with family.

But it was nice, you know, it's actually crazy how long the weekends are when you're not like going hard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Much longer than I was used to.

And you're not waiting for your hangover to pass.

You're not like wishing away hours that are precious.

No, it's true.

It's 100% true.

So it felt like a really long weekend.

It was good to be close to God, close to family.

Yeah, you hosted a beautiful Seder on Friday night.

Thank you.

Yes, I did.

Harold loved it.

He came to the body.

The reviews were wraith.

He saw your apartment.

He said it was stunning.

He loved what you did with the place.

Thank you so much.

And the food was delicious.

He said compliments to the chef.

And it was a really nice evening.

Thank you so much.

Yes.

Oh my God, that feels like one eternity ago.

Yeah.

But yes, I hosted a seder, and then we did the second seder with Ben's family.

So it was nice, nice holiday.

I'm on, what is it now, day like three or four of not eating bread.

It's a part of the Jewish holiday, for those who don't know.

And I am struggling.

I'm so constipated.

I've eaten so much matzah, which really blocks you up.

Like if you ever have, you know what?

When I had the stomach flu, I should have started eating matzah because that would have bound me up real tight.

I'm so, I'm a little like on edge because I haven't had pasta or pizza in like three or four days.

And I'm just, we have to go up until I think Sunday this week.

I'm fucking starving.

Like I'm really hungry.

Damn.

Okay.

Well, don't take it out on me.

No, I am.

Like, I'm really hungry.

I've busted my ass together.

I've pumped like a million fucking times.

I woke up so early.

I literally, my eyes are like watery.

And whenever I watch the show back after I've been on, because, you know, that's a fun thing to do.

It's a fun thing to do when you're not doing it every day.

Every single day.

You can like see the glassiness in my eyes.

You look great.

Thanks, girly.

And it's not glassiness in your eye.

You've just got a sparkle in your eye.

That's just something cute about me.

You're just that girl.

I am that girl.

Because.

So I'm sorry that you can't have your pizza and pasta.

I mean, neither can I, but it hasn't really impeded what I've been eating the last few days.

Like, I was just like on a potato kick anyway.

Right.

Potatoes are the saving grace of Pesach.

Potatoes, chips, and french fries.

Right, because everything like I want to eat is chummates is the technical word for those who don't know.

You can't eat like any basically gluten.

Yeah.

Kind of.

Because, you know, the Jews ran out of Egypt to escape slavery and they didn't have time for their matzah to rise.

So that's why their bread to rise.

So that's it.

Becomatzah, like a cracker because the yeast didn't rise.

So now to remember the suffering of our ancestors, for like eight days, we can't eat eat any gluten and I'm upset and the only thing that brings me solace is a french fry because it's not I mean technically if they're battered in like tech like

if you want to get technical, which I'm not, I don't want to be clear.

I'm not getting technical.

Like some people will not have a fountain soda because the syrup in fountain soda is like corn syrup or whatever.

I'm not that girl.

Like I will be having fountain soda, but I'm doing the basics.

Like obviously I'm not slapping, you know, a piece of bread into my mouth.

Of course.

And I don't want to get technical at all.

And I often don't and I believe that if Moses had access to french fries like he would have grabbed a handful.

I also think like if he had a bag of pretzels he would have taken them for the road.

Obviously Moses was a smart man.

So like some of these conveniences like I think it's disrespectful to eat a flat out piece of bread because Moses couldn't.

Right.

And Moses didn't.

And then we would be like rubbing our bread in Moses' face and that's not cool.

100%.

But Moses would have grabbed a pretzel rod if he had one.

No, and if there was like a 7-Eleven on the way out of Egypt, I know Moses would have stopped for a fountain soda and therefore, so will I.

100%.

I just think to myself before I put it in my mouth, what would Moses want?

And I know Moses wouldn't want me to suffer.

So

I'm struggling.

Yeah, but like the pasta, it does take time to cook.

Moses couldn't.

No, of course, of course.

So like the obvious ones, but like, you know, some people will, you know, depends on your, the varying levels of religiosity, but like a lot of people will do potato vodka, which is like a special kosher for Passover vodka, because I guess vodka is made from wheat.

But But I just know Moses was like, yeah, give me a shot.

So Moses was like, Belvedere, check.

Yeah, no, shots for everyone.

Shots.

If he had it in the house.

Right.

But just because he didn't go grocery shopping is not.

Why should I suffer?

No, no, no.

So I'm like so hungry.

I've just been eating like chicken.

Like, I'm just so hungry.

I'm so sorry.

I know.

It's okay.

It'll be fine.

It'll be fine.

We'll have a big meal out there.

We're like four or five.

We're like, We're like almost halfway.

We're almost halfway.

Yeah.

Almost.

Yeah, and matzah is good and you have like chocolate matzah.

Yeah.

And a lot of people are giving up different things for Lent.

So it's like we're all in the same boat.

Yes, agreed.

So crazy weekend.

Here to discuss and recap the video.

The revolve of it all.

The revolve of it all.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

So.

The revolve of it all.

So much to say.

Do you want to wait till the first story, which is like really Coachella?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But tell me about Harry.

How is he doing?

Everything is good.

I can't believe.

I don't know the last time I've been on the show.

Like, the days go by so quickly.

And I'm like, I was just here.

I was just doing the toast.

And I don't know.

It was, I think, like six days ago.

You were here last Tuesday.

Okay.

I don't have too many updates for everyone, but things have been going well.

Breastfeeding is going really well.

Good.

And that's, it's all good.

I mean, I'm so fucking tired.

All the time.

Yesterday, I guess it was like maybe a Grogsburg, and he was just like cluster feeding all day.

I was literally breastfeeding every hour.

And the thing about like, you're supposed to, technically you do like every two and a half to three hours.

when it's a normal stretch, but that doesn't include the time spent breastfeeding.

So if you're like breastfeeding for around like 40 minutes and the next one, that's 40 minutes into the two and a half to three hours.

Yeah, it's from start to start.

So it like, it's literally every hour.

That's fucked up.

It's messed up.

That's messed up.

It should be from the end.

But obviously the baby's hungry.

So like, why are you...

We're going to let the kid cry while you just sit there with your sister.

You should make a point

just because like you think it should be longer.

Speaking of my child, you know, I don't want to worry everyone, but Theo has been rather ill

and he's going to the doctor today.

So just prayers, positive thoughts.

Prayers up for Theo.

Prayers up for Theo.

Hopefully everything's okay.

It's just like a routine stomach flu, but he's just unwell.

And he's not one to complain.

And he is like, he's strong, you know?

He's built like,

what's the phrase we always say?

Strong like bull.

Strong like bull.

He is strong like bull.

And so if he's down, down and out.

for the count, then something is amiss.

I know.

So like now we have to, I'm like the type of dog.

I'm like, it's fine, it's fine.

But then it's like four or five days where he's not fine.

And usually when I'm like, he's fine, he is fine.

A day later.

You know, Bryce has so many days like that.

Right.

But now it's like enough time has passed, like, he really needs to see a doctor.

So that, and I have like Theo's stool sample like sitting on my dining room table.

I don't know what to do with it.

I double bagged it and I put it in.

I frame it, obviously.

I double bagged it.

That's what the sponsors say.

I double bagged it and I put it in a Ziploc bag.

And I was like, do I put this like in the freezer?

Like, I wasn't sure where to put it.

I think he'd leave it out.

Yeah, it's just chilling.

Sometimes you send a stool sample like through the mail and it's not, it's not frozen.

Yeah, no, so I just have to hang on to it until 3.30 3.30 when he goes to the doctor.

Okay.

That's what I'll be doing today.

That's really fabulous.

Gorgeous.

It's fabulous life of Claudiash.

The fabulous stool of Theosophy.

Beyond fabulous.

Stunning.

Okay, so I feel like let's just get into it because like sitting here not talking about Revolve Fest is just a waste of my time.

Okay.

So without further ado, do to do to do.

Prayers up for due.

I know you guys don't like when I talk about do when I say do to do to do.

Today is an important day for do.

So everyone just keep doing your thoughts.

And Bryce, he's doing fantastic, by the way.

Happy for you.

So fucking cute.

Without further ado, it is time for the fast high stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

Today is also Monday, which means we are

unburdening ourselves at the end of this.

episode and the submissions today are on another level.

Can't wait.

So I'm excited for that.

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All right, let's dive into like what we need to talk about.

Coachella, weekend one, the only weekend that matters.

Well, you know what?

Like this has been such a cluster fuck of

a weekend.

I actually think that if you were going to Coachella like to enjoy the festival, like go to weekend two.

Oh yeah.

But as far as like celebrities, parties, whatnot, influencers, it's weekend one that it all happens.

But I agree.

Like if I were, if it were like stagecoach and there were two weekends and I just really want to see like Luke Homes and enjoy my life, I would go the second weekend.

100%.

People forget there's even a second weekend of Coachella.

Right.

Cause everyone activates in the first weekend.

And after two years of putting it off, there was a lot of activations to be had.

And it was like kind of chaotic.

yeah i mean just like on the base level like i was watching tick tocks of people who you know bought tickets whether it was general admission or vip who showed up to the festival and were turned away like that they were at capacity what yeah which is like if you're paying for a ticket that's bullshit that's bullshit i didn't see that i haven't seen any tick tocks any other than like what you've sent me right i feel like i could have probably had way more coachella content if i was on tick tock and i thought about it but i was like no i will stick to instagram stories and the people who i'm following who are there showing me the way so let's talk about the positives first i have to say I've been to Coachella.

I've experienced Coachella.

So I really didn't have a ton of FOMO because...

No FOMO here.

Because once you've been, like, you know.

But I did think that the Harry Styles performance was everything of the sort.

And that's something I would have liked to see.

Even though, like, if you've been to Coachella, you know, like, watching it on a live stream is so much more of a pleasant experience.

You really can't see anything at Coachella.

It's like chaotic.

Yeah.

His performance looks great.

I had no FOMO.

When I was like watching everything through my phone, it was just like out of sheer curiosity.

And also, like, after two years of it being postponed and postponed, I was so curious to see like all the looks in the fashion because I do feel like Coachella, even though it's like so extreme, like

you do get a lot of like fashion info for it.

And like, if there's a trend that's hitting, like, people go all out and you can see like what are the obvious trends.

The fashion

was really surprising.

There was very few looks or people who I was like, oh, that is adorable.

No, I know.

Everyone just looked kind of like silly with like just so many accessories.

And then like seeing Haley Bieber and Kendall walk in in like literal t-shirts and shorts, just like how a music festival should be enjoyed, like casual, it's like low-key, very...

They made everyone else look so dumb.

Like you're wearing a thousand hats and rhinestones and sheer and necklaces and like the coolest people are just wearing like what?

tank tops and denim shorts.

Jeans and a t-shirt.

Right.

It was like kind of sad.

Yeah, and I thought that was gonna be the vibe for this year, like kind of paring everything down and just like really casual.

I don't, I think it's like a TikTok aesthetic, like cool girl look or something.

Okay, yeah.

You know, where it's just like Haley Bieber style.

Pull back.

And we got some of that, but we mostly got just like

discarded looks from three years ago.

Yeah.

It was

all over the place.

And there was no clear theme of like what is the current style.

And maybe that's a sign of the times where it's like nobody knows how to dress anymore.

Right.

And I think when it comes to Coachella specifically, I think people are just like, throw the more shit on, the better.

More fringe, more beads, more hats, more everything.

And they just look kind of like clowns.

Yeah.

No, naturally.

I'm gonna be honest with you guys.

You look like fucking clowns.

Two years of wearing sweats.

Like, I think people just

are a little rusty.

Yeah.

There were some really good looks, though.

So I'm not saying this about everyone, but in general, like there was no clear theme that emerged.

Trends that emerged.

The things you wish you would have worn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There was nothing that I was like, oh, that's what I would have worn if I were there.

Right.

Now, Revolve is really like the center.

The center of Coachella.

They've done a really good job for themselves of like being the place for clothing, the place for a good time, the place for the famous people.

Even Kim showed up.

Yeah, and you know, I actually saw this TikTok.

I guess Revolve had this deck that they had sent around internally just of their Coachella strategy.

And it leaked somehow.

And it was really interesting, like how most

retail brands will consider Q4 their highest time of year because of holiday sales.

Coachella, Q2, is actually Revolve's highest grossing time of year because there's no sales going on, but all these influencers, they give away like a bunch of free clothing, but all the influencers wearing clothes from Coachella is their like their top source of revenue throughout the year.

I mean, that makes so much sense.

The amount, I mean, my whole feed is Revolve.

And that's why they can afford to spend millions and millions of dollars putting on Revolve Fest.

And for those who don't know, people seem to be very confused.

It's not even a part of Coachella.

When you go to Coachella, you know, the smaller acts, the lesser-known artists, will play during the day, and then starting at like seven o'clock are like people you've heard of.

So a lot of people don't even go to the festival until dark, and during the day, there's like not that much to do except like hang at your house and swim.

So Revolve had this great idea to put on their own mini festival during the day when people usually aren't at the grounds yet.

Yeah, but it's mostly for like celebrities, influencers.

But now it is so big.

I mean, it looked like there were thousands of people there.

Post Malone performed.

Like it is a festival unto itself.

They also...

It was double the size when we were there.

Is that confirmed?

No, I'm just guessing.

No, but it was at the same place.

I know, but I think in terms of people.

And I think that I think that's also because like Post Malone performed.

Like they always have performers and stuff, but like their headliner like rivals Coachella now.

Yeah, and it's it is up until recently was invite only.

So you were invited by Revolve either because you're an influencer or a celebrity or for whatever reason.

But this year, they actually got a lot of heat before Coachella even happened because this email went around to a bunch of people that they shared on social media that was offering them an invite to Revolve Fest, but in order to get invited, you have to spend $2,000 on the website.

So it's like, okay.

And a lot of people said that was like greedy or whatever.

And then now, knowing what actually ended up happening at Revolve Fest, people who did pay $2,000 on the website to not even be able to get in, like, that sucks.

Yeah.

Is that what?

So I want to talk about like the viral TikToks.

I didn't see anything.

And I feel like I even got an email like

inviting.

Invite, like, just like flagging Revolve Festival.

If you're going to be there, like, let us know.

Because now I'm like, here, Bestie, it's back.

Say, oh, if you're interested in attending, they say this kindly note: this form does not guarantee entrance to Revolve Festival.

An official invite will be sent once your form has been submitted.

And there's nothing about spending $2,000, but maybe different information.

I think there's different tiers.

And also, I have to submit my thing, and then maybe they would get back to me with something.

So it takes place at the Merv Griffin Estate, which is an iconic Real Housewives of Orange County reference.

If you know, you know.

And basically, if you were staying at the festival with Revolve, they had their own hotel.

If you were like a Revolve influencer, you were totally taken care of.

Of course, but there's only like 50 people.

Max.

If you got invited to the festival in any other way, either by purchasing a ticket, I know they were like using promoters in LA.

Any other way, you were told to show up to this like abandoned field in the middle of the desert for a shuttle to take you.

And nobody knew where the party was.

So they had to rely on these shuttles.

and apparently what happened is like the buses never came people were standing outside in a field in a hundred degrees fainting there was no water no shade no food and no one there being like here's what's going on it was just kind of a chaotic mess of like hundreds and hundreds of influencers like stranded in a desert okay but I saw footage from like and everyone's saying revolve festival fire festival and I just as someone who's like watching it from a distance like I'm sorry no it's not like they put on a festival there were thousands of people there so if you're saying only like the hotel revolve people

were able to go straight there and everyone else had to take buses, that means they did bus in thousands of people to get there.

And apparently like the Revolve verbiage to the people who were there was like, show up on time.

And I think one or two, maybe three hours after you were told to show up, it became chaos at the shuttle station.

Got it.

And

I mean, it's hard because things go viral on TikTok.

And like people take such pleasure in this like takedown culture.

And it's people just like live for the shaden Freud.

And I'm just like not feeling it on this one.

Like, yes, that is such a fucking bummer to have to wait there.

And, but they did have buses and they did have infrastructure.

And the festival was happening.

And plenty of people got there.

Definitely way more than they bargained for.

But they oversold.

And at a certain point, like if you can't get on the bus or the bus isn't coming, like you go to the festival.

Now, we all saw that one girl who came to Palm Springs just.

to go to Revolve Festival.

She didn't even buy tickets to she's the video who's going viral.

I went and saved.

Sorry.

I'm not sure.

Okay, she like was explaining her experience.

She was invited to Revolve Festival, probably got the email.

She's an influencer and waited all day for the shuttle from one o'clock to seven o'clock and couldn't get on because the people who were getting on were the beasts.

Right.

Like she was like shoving.

And like, that's not her style.

And she didn't even buy tickets to Coachella.

She only came to Palm Springs to go to the Revolve Festival.

She said like she missed Easter with her family because like she was going to do this.

And like, I'm sorry, but that's on you.

Like people have choices.

And you chose that.

And like, sure, it's such, it sucks that that's how your weekend turned out.

And like, yeah, in a perfect world, you would have, everything would have been, you know, organized to a tree.

But like, that's what happens when thousands of people want to go to Revolve Festival.

So here's where I think Revolve is culpable.

Okay.

You cannot make someone pay for a ticket to an event that they can't get into.

Did they pay for tickets?

I believe some of them did.

Okay, because up until you just saying this to me, I assumed Revolve Festival is free.

So another video that I saw was like there were four lines.

for the shuttles one two three and four and they all had different tiers I guess and I think and they said for the first couple hours only people from line one were getting on the buses.

I have to imagine that those were people who paid.

You don't think it was people with the most followers?

I don't know.

See, that's the thing.

And, like, I don't know what Revolve is valuing, but I just know for a fact that there are people who paid for an event and weren't able to go.

And, like, that is fucked up.

And that's like criminal.

Yeah, that's fucked up.

But I've been operating under the promise that it is free because it's always been free.

So I'm not 100% sure then, but I agree.

Like, you.

And I haven't seen any TikTok or anything, but I only saw a few that said that they paid.

So I agree.

Like, you, out of your own volition, spent your own time, like waiting for an event, and it clearly wasn't going to happen.

And you decided to stay there.

And like, that is on you.

And that's like your choice.

But I also think, and I've always felt this way, like when at Coachella, like the whole environment, not even Revolve, but just Coachella in general, like feels just like dangerously close to an emergency.

Like it's in the desert.

It's so hot.

It's so remote.

There's a shortage of cabs, a shortage of everything because Palm Springs is not designed to have hundreds of thousands of people flocking to it for four days.

So the whole event feels like dangerously close to like something bad happening.

It's so hot.

It's unbearable.

Everyone's drinking, which dehydrates you.

It's always just felt to me like a little scary.

And I agree, like if this was,

and I wish I knew more logistics on like the paying versus the not, but if it's like a totally free event that you wanted to go to and you weren't able to go to and you decided to spend five hours standing in the hot, that is on you.

But also keep in mind, like, I can't imagine it was easy to get an Uber out of that shuttle station.

No, no, but it's hard to get an Uber out of Coachella.

Right.

It's just hard in general.

In general.

So I think there, there is responsibility on Revolve, like for having, knowing that many people were going to show up at a shuttle station and not having the infrastructure to get all those people there.

And maybe that's what they wanted.

They wanted to create hype and make it like exclusive.

And then they got to capacity and like no one could come.

So I think like when you're encouraged, when you're having people show up in 100-degree heat in the middle of the day with no water, no shelter, and then not even buses showing up.

Like,

I saw buses, and they were coach buses, too.

So, I saw videos with buses, but like, people were saying these were literally the only buses that came over the four or five-hour period that I was there.

Okay, so then how did the thousands of people that I saw at Revolve Festival posting alone, get there?

I believe those people were on time to the shuttle station.

Got it.

But again, you really know what

I mean.

I guess they could have said to everyone, like, we're at capacity, like, go home.

Please go home.

I think also what I saw was like, there were people there, like security, quote unquote, who were supposed to be, like, counselors who were were supposed to be organizing everyone, and they weren't doing anything.

But it's also like you see the behavior of all of these swarms of people who are like, there's no containing them.

No, I agree.

Like there is an amount of personal liability on the people who decided to stand out there for six hours to see Postmalone.

Like you, it's not jail.

Like you could leave.

You could go to the festival.

You could go back to your house.

You could go get water.

You could go to a restaurant.

Go to Taco Belle have a soda.

Like there's.

Revolve is culpable in the sense that like there, it seemed like their event was chaotic.

Not the event.

The event event itself.

The logistics around the event were chaotic.

The transporting people there was chaotic.

Also, where's the personal liability for like you deciding not to spend Easter with your family?

Not to get Coachella tickets, just to fly across the country and miss the holiday to spend one day at Revolve Festival, which if you've ever seen it, it's just a content farm.

Yeah, I think a lot of times it is more fun than it actually looks, but

it's not...

like a real no it's it's a content farm that's the perfect like you walk around there's sick things happening and no one's really paying attention they're taking pictures like you go on the rides to take a picture and like because everybody's really working yeah you know and it's not in any shape in a negative way I actually think like considering everybody's working and it is like just a photo op it's actually more fun than than a classic work event right but

no that's what you chose to do I agree with what you're saying there's liability um on everyone like you you made that decision to stand with all these people and trust me if it were me like I would be so fucking pissed like and I don't know if I would make a tick tock or instagram story like it could be because it's low-key like embarrassing that i decided to like thirst out so hard stand like with all these people when clearly it wasn't happening like go to come at your house yeah

yeah or if you're gonna come to the desert for a weekend like make a weekend out of it out of it get coachella tickets have options yeah because coachella weekend is all about trying to get into parties that you might not get into right for everyone unless you're kim kardashian right right now it's true it's true we've been there we've been there Oh, been there big time.

I mean, I don't think anything on the scale as big as that.

No, no, no.

But, like, the frustration, like, even if you guys weren't waiting at a designated location, even if you're waiting outside the actual party, right, like with the bouncers.

Right.

You they can only let so many people in.

It would have been a different, like, the same situation, even if you're just waiting outside the Merc Griffin estate.

Right, right, right, right.

It's just fucking chaos everywhere.

No, and I think, like, the real reason why people are pissed is because where they were told to wait and ended up waiting for so many hours was in the middle of the day, high heat, no shade.

The desert, no water, the desert, no, you know, tents for them to stand under.

Like, I saw a tent.

You did?

Yeah, I saw a tent.

Oh, I didn't see a tent.

What I was told is like, there's no shade, no water, no resources.

So leave.

That's the point.

Leave.

And it'll take you a long time to leave.

But like deciding to stand there for six hours.

Your tent.

Oh, tent.

Yes.

Tent.

Deciding to stand there for six hours, that's on you.

Yeah.

That's, and maybe not what you want to hear, but that is on you.

Like wanting, like the desperation to get into a revolt fest.

So that's what you did.

And it's just, it's not Fire Festival.

Right, no, because the festival itself, the event where the ground, the grounds where the event were actually happening was a smash.

Yes, Malone, Matt Carlo, food, drinks, carnival rides, thousands of people.

It was, but they, they oversold the event.

Yeah.

Okay.

And I'm just learning now that tickets were sold because up until now, or some, there was some sort of like money exchange.

I just thought it was a lot of people.

For a lot of people.

Yeah.

But also, I think people are also pissed because like Kim was there and clearly like they probably paid her.

Yeah.

And so it's like they have all this money for things like that, but they are not paying for more buses.

But I think that's water at the transport space.

But that's also like the core, one of the core tenants of like nightlife and partying is like exclusivity.

Yeah.

So if a party, if everyone can go to a party, it ain't that cool.

Yeah.

So that's just like a marketing strategy.

Yeah.

So I think Revolve is definitely like liable in some regards, but I think also it's important that every person who decided to stay six hours in the sun when they knew they probably weren't getting to the party like

and were just desperate to be at Revolve Fest, like there needs to be personal liability taken.

Accountability.

And how long would you have waited?

Me, I'm really not good in the heat.

But it would have been the both of us.

So like I would have made you wait a little bit.

20 minutes.

20 minutes.

I think.

No, knowing me, like I'm a Bulvana.

I would have found out where the party was and like took an an Uber straight to the party and like hopped a hop defense.

Well, that's the thing.

I wonder if you have, if you took an Uber straight to the party, like if you could walk into the party.

They were very intentional about not letting people know where it was.

And we know where it was because we've been there twice before.

But most people don't know where the actual grounds are.

Yeah.

So if they wanted to take an Uber straight there, they wouldn't even know what address to put in the location.

Okay, but if you knew the address, could you walk through the door?

Or you had to come in through a bus?

I think you could have walked through the door, but once you got to to the door, you were told that they were at capacity.

Like, it just depends on who you are.

And they give out wristbands of different colors for different tiers.

Like, if you have a certain wristband, you can get into the private club area.

If you have a certain other color wristband, you just get to walk the grounds.

So, I think depending on what wristband you had, if they were at capacity, if you had like a really special wristband, they would let you in.

But once they were at capacity and you just had the regular general admission wristband, it was like, nah.

Got it.

Okay.

But you're right.

It is a free event for most people, I think.

Which means that not everyone is going to get to come.

I mean, the idea, what you're telling me about the Coachella festival being at Capacity and people not being able to get in.

That's fucked up.

Yes, I heard that too, that Coachelli was turning people away, especially the first night, because Harry's stage

crowd size had like one of the biggest in Coachella history.

Wow.

It looked great, his performance.

It looked amazing.

Shania Twain was there.

It was everything of the sort of thing.

Such an interesting choice.

Like, you bring out one person and the Shania Twain.

Here for completely.

It's actually not that that interesting if you like our one direction Harry Stan like he has been obsessed with Shania Twain forever um you're still the one is like one of his favorite songs when he was on tour with uh Casey Musgraves she opened for him every night she would come back out and sing that song like a duet really beautiful harmony with him it's like one of his favorite songs

so he's like a shania girly cute and i thought it was like the perfect

The perfect collab.

Yeah, no, people were living for it and it was so good.

She killed it.

Olivia Wilde was there too, like frolicking around the field in her fur coat.

Also, it felt like very low on celebrities this year.

Yes.

Like it used to be like a celebrity playground, like you would spot them everywhere.

Like now, of course, there's influencers and there were a handful of like traditional celebrities, but a lot less than usual.

Yeah, it was just like Haley,

Kardashians.

And that's because Justin performed peaches with

Daniel Caesar.

At the at his

during his set.

And also the Kardashians were there because they always do Eastern Pompe springs.

And like 818 was out revolved.

So it was just like, let's check out the festival.

There was a limited showing from like A-list talent.

Yeah, there's usually like so many models.

Vanessa Hudgens, where was she?

Oh, yeah, Coachelle Girly.

Coachella Queen.

Totally.

You know?

All in all, I was just like really living for the content.

In terms of influencers and their looks, I think like honestly, everyone looked stupid except for Shannon Ford, who looked amazing.

She's

that girl.

So she has no choice but to be that girl.

I thought Sophia LaCourt looked great.

I thought Sophia LaCourt looked amazing, and that's really it.

I thought the sabotage girls looked so cute, and Sophie Su Chan was my best dress of the whole weekend.

Agreed, did I?

Oh, and day three, I just saw it was sickening as well.

So it had like a butterfly top, yeah.

But overall, just like everyone was like doing the most, trying the hardest.

And overall, like at a glance, looking at the event, you know, from a bird's eye perspective, it was a bunch of like losers being losers, you know?

And like, and if you've been there, like, you just know it's even more losery in person, you know?

Yeah, yes and no, because like every time we've been, we actually have like a genuinely good time.

But that's us.

Like we, we are not content.

We like take one picture and then we're tired and we're like, okay, can we please like just enjoy?

And you know what?

And if we weren't having a good time, we would leave.

Right.

And like we, we just know how to have fun.

Like we found pot.

We, we were just like the first time.

For the first time ever.

We were like, is that should we smoke?

Like we were like saying, should we do acid?

We were like, should we smoke pot?

I mean, it's so much fun.

Like we really enjoyed the festival.

We didn't do like a ton of parties.

And so I think there's definitely a way to have a lot of fun at Coachella.

But I just think with each year that passes, it becomes more and more of like a work obligation and less and less fun, which is why Stagecoach is the weekend to go.

Yeah.

There's no parties like.

corporate greed.

It's just.

I also feel like in the past, there have been so many competing parties during the day.

And I feel like most other brands have given up.

Now it's been like Revolve, take the wheels.

Or a lot of brands activate at Revolve.

Like every single station is branded, and those brands are paying for the event.

I'm sure Revolve spends a lot less money than people think.

Totally.

And they always have sponsors.

Like the last time we were there,

what's that food delivery?

Jordash.

Jordash was like the number one sponsor.

They have tons of sponsors.

You're right.

It's definitely an expensive party to throw, and they definitely spend a couple million dollars, but not of their money specifically.

Yes.

No, I think they spend a couple million dollars of their own money specifically, but the whole event in its entirety costs $20 million with all the performers, the grounds, the food, the liquor, liquor, everything, the carnival rides.

It's less than hotel.

Hotel.

Oh, and then also paying the girls.

The girls, the influencers, like the top-tier influencers who actually had to go with Revolve, paying them.

It's a very expensive event, but they don't pay for all of it.

Yeah, I think a lot less than people would think.

Yeah.

So it was just very interesting.

I hope everyone who stood outside in the desert is recovered and is really thinking about their choices.

I agree.

I agree.

Because you know what?

At the end of the day, Revolve, totally liable.

But you did stand out there for all those hours knowing you probably weren't going to make it.

Like, you did do that.

You did.

And for what?

So you could get an Instagram?

Like, that's where...

Right.

That's where our values are.

And as society, like, our priorities are fucking.

Out of whack.

Yeah, I agree.

Out of fucking whack.

Agree.

Go home for Easter.

Go home.

Are you ready for our next story?

You feel co-tell it out?

Any other performances that stood out to you?

No.

Megan Thee Stallion's performance looked amazing.

Just from like stalking TikTok, all maybe I got into a rut because I watched so much Harry content I was only served Harry content got it that's all I saw oh and of course like Harry content we fucking love and did you know that his new album's called Harry's House

I'm gonna have to buy all the merch so apparently the merch at Coachella was so sick did anyone get me anything Bring it to Claudia's meeting you can find it on Poshmark for $1 million I drank out of my Ray Doug mug this morning I fucking meant to take a picture I do feel different I just want to say like I understand why we're all laughing at Ray dunn but i also understand the love and the hype of course like it's it's so cute do you want more like kind don't get crazy but like if you guys are thinking like would jackie want ray dunn to bring to the meet and greet like yeah okay no i feel like i fuck with it i'll do some searching it's just it was and zach saw my mug he's like what a cute mug who got that for you i was like not you

i said the toasters um so yeah i'm i'm feeling this ray done

girly ray dunn girly Yes.

Okay, switching gears completely because Rihanna would never.

The influencer blogger is apologizing for the reckless Rihanna and ASAP Rocky rumor that started last week.

So I saw that didn't start that he started.

That he started that like everyone just believed that got so much press, but this person like we never, I never heard of.

And now it's like completely untrue.

Yeah, of course.

And like I just hate shit like this.

Like, first of all, I hate that as a society, we just like believe what random people on the internet say.

Yeah.

Especially when, when I was reporting on this last week, I've never heard of this influencer, but his claim to fame is like vogue or paper magazine referred to him as the messiest fashion influencer on the internet right now.

So like he's known for being like a menace and we all just believed in like these are real people.

I just hate this shit.

These are real people.

She is so pregnant.

Like who needs this?

And they're back in Barbados now.

I think she's probably going to give birth to them.

That's what I saw.

Which is so cute.

They seem to be very happy.

I like hate this man.

Yeah.

Well, he's apologizing.

He said last night I made a dumb decision to tweet some information I had received.

I'm not going to talk about sources, blame others for a discussion that was started because at the end of the day, I made the decision to drop that tweet, press send, and put that out with my name on it.

I'd like to formally apologize to all parties I involved with my actions and for my reckless tweets.

This is like so embarrassing.

And to the general public who hadn't heard of this guy, like this is going to be our association with him for a very long time.

And now I just like, if I ever read anything with his name in it, I'm just going to be like liar.

Credibility is shocked.

Out the window.

And especially with like a pregnant woman, like you just don't do that.

Like, you can't, now she's probably like so stressed.

Like, it's just a lot of people.

I just feel like for Rihanna, like, she's

fine, you know, but like to say you heard this rumor and say whether or not it was true or not, like, to put that out there when she is like so pregnant.

It's just, what are you trying to achieve?

No, and the rumor got like so far as to Amina Muadi having to having to put out a statement.

Right.

Right.

So it wasn't nothing.

It wasn't harmless.

Like it was harmful.

It caused harm.

It was harmful.

Full of harm.

Full of it.

And these are just people who I don't think deserve harm.

No.

Don't get me wrong.

There are definitely people out there who deserve harm.

Like I have a whole list.

Rihanna, ASAP, and Amina Muwadi are not those people.

No, they are not.

And I just hate people whose like claim to fame on the internet is like just starting stuff.

Yeah, and I'm seeing a lot of that recently.

Because you get rewarded for it in this culture.

Like you become famous.

Your lies become facts.

Like people are upset.

Like we live in this moronic culture where we just believe everything we read.

So people like this guy, I'm not even sure of his name, are gonna become like sources.

So one random guy said something on the internet.

I say shit all the time.

No one listens to me.

Like, why now?

No.

Why this rumor?

It's that.

It's like just making shit up about people, which we see a lot.

But it's also like this just like complain culture, which brings it back to the revolt fest of like, just something didn't go your way.

You're going to complain about it.

Like, and everyone is just going to live for it.

And I'm just not really, even if your gripe is valid.

Legitimate, yeah.

But this is completely illegitimate.

You can't just make stuff up about people.

Yeah.

And you know what?

If Rihanna wanted to, like, she probably has grounds to sue for libel.

Mm-hmm.

Because you just make some random fucking shit up and press in.

Yeah.

Where is the accountability?

Yeah.

And I never want people to get sued, but I do think it would like set a precedent for like the next time some TikToker is like, yeah, I had sex with Kanye West.

You might think twice.

You might think twice.

You might still do it.

But you didn't think it was.

But you might have thought twice.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

No.

You're not ready.

I don't think you're ready.

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Love it.

Our girly Jessica Simpson is saying she loves her body at every size after weight loss.

Queen doing queen things.

Yes, there is.

Jessica Simpson is a queen.

So she did an interview and there are just like so many precious quotes that I want to share.

The singer who has lost 100 pounds three separate times said in a new interview that she has the experience to understand women and what they want out of life and their clothes.

She said, I understand the mentality of all women and I understand loving where you're at or wanting more or wanting something better.

I understand that.

She said she had to grapple with weight struggles all in the public eye, but finally has gotten to a place where she is comfortable and amazed in her skin.

She said, I always celebrate my body.

The fact that I made children is unreal, she said of her three kids.

But you just don't don't ever think you're going to fit back into things.

I feel you, girl.

It's crazy.

A woman's body is phenomenal in what it can do.

She recently shared a photo of herself wearing a bikini to flaunt her figure and credited her results to hard work, determination, and self-love.

She admitted that she cried tears of joy at reaching the milestone after having been devastated by her size at the end of her pregnancies.

She said that she threw out her scale following years of body image struggles after she had her kids.

This just speaks to my soul right now.

I just, you know, if I had to get married again, which I hope to never do, you would marry Jessica Simpson?

No, I think that, like, I really do believe she, no one on the planet understands a woman's body better than her.

And like, I would have her make my wedding dress, like, if that was an option.

Okay.

Well, you know, I would also marry her

if that was an option.

I just didn't know where you were going with it.

But no, I think this is all like, I think all the

interviews she does right now is to promote her as like a designer because, you know, she now owns 100% of her Jessica Simpson collection company.

And so that's very much like her priority.

And it's true.

Like when I i think of buying clothing like i want to buy it from someone like jessica simps who's been all sizes who knows what you need at a bigger size or at a smaller size and just because you need a bigger size doesn't mean you have to wear an ugly fucking smock dress like like i would like i trust this woman with my life i totally agree

i'd take a bullet for her you would 100 taking a lot of bullets that's me but i really and i i say that as like a euphemism but with jessica simpson it's a hundred percent facts it really is just when you think like she she's been kind of quiet recently and ever since like the fanfare from us from the book over her book like

i just but also from everyone i love like every few months like a re-upping of jessica simpson stanhood and especially now when she's like speaking directly to me about what it feels like to postpone not be sure if your clothes are ever going to fit again and honestly reading this just gives me like more hope and patience is really what requires like i'm not trying to be hard on myself or anything but like a girl's gotta dress girls gotta eat like a girl's gotta be clothes yeah right no i completely agree i think jessica simpson is all of us like she's truly like a woman of the people.

She's an American woman.

You know, she is.

I just love this queen with every fiber of my being.

Following her on Instagram.

She gives off Britney Spears vibes with like a lot of emojis and a lot of like

unique angles, but we live for it.

We live for it.

It's not completely comparable.

She does like it.

No, no, no.

I said, I didn't say it was the same.

I said it gives off a little bit of the energy.

Okay, yeah, I feel that, but you just can just tell she's excited about what she's posting.

I just love her.

Like, she, and she always gives us a glimpse.

She lives this just lavish life.

She just recently posted about a birthday party for one of her kids that I forget the theme, but it was like something themed, and she went all out.

And it was like a beautiful party at her property in Malibu.

Like, it was,

she gets like overlooked a lot, I think, because she's not so in the public eye anymore.

But when we think of like celebrities, we'd want to, you know, switch lives for a day, like, you need to see that house.

Yeah.

She, like, people forget, like, she's rich.

Yeah.

Rich, rich.

Love that for her.

And I'm like, you know, 80% happy, like 20% jealous.

That's healthy for you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Like 70-30, but yeah.

Still healthy.

60-40.

Are you ready for our next story?

The drama, which I have yet to discuss with you, but I know you've talked about it a few times.

Elon Musk trying to buy Twitter.

And the Twitter board is now adopting a poison pill plan to thwart Elon from buying Twitter for the proposed $43 billion takeover that he is trying to enact.

And tell me what a poison pill is because you know I have no idea.

So basically, they are trying to get other people to buy more shares by devaluing the price of their stock, therefore like diluting.

It's literally like the Gilded Age.

Yeah.

Isn't that what he did when those church elders tried to oust him?

No, he bought up all his stock because he could.

Right, right, right.

But I don't think that.

It's even similar.

I don't think that these board members can.

If you've seen the list of board members and how much stock they own, aside from Jack, the initial founder, not one of them owns more than 1%.

Elon is now at 9%.

Yeah, so I don't like fully understand the economics behind all of this, but I do understand.

But here's what I understand: I understand simple like business logic, and I understand that Twitter is beyond irrelevant.

As a platform, I don't think they generate a lot of revenue.

And I just think in the social ecosystem, like they're literally the worst app everyone would agree.

You know, kids coming of age in social media have every single social media app except for Twitter.

So here is a guy for whatever his own reasons are, like, wants to give you $50 billion for for your irrelevant stupid app.

Take it.

Like

the thing is they don't want the money.

They want control and they want power and they want the ability to content moderate, censor what goes on on Twitter.

And Elon wants the opposite.

So I just feel like for me, like money is always going to win.

And if I was a shareholder, I'd be like, fuck this.

I want out of this loser company.

The thing is, at a certain point, if they continue to like make bad financial decisions on behalf of the shareholders, it is a public company, shareholders can sue.

Right.

But they would literally rather get into that mess than let Elon take the wheel and what is Elon's plan for Twitter like just for like he's been like running all these funny polls on his uh things about changes that he would make like things like an edit button right which is now coming but in general he wants free speech so I think the plan would be to be a little more hands-off and then also

what else was he asking people if they would want

like just tweaks to the to the platform to the platform like different features yeah yeah yeah I mean I can't

like, I really don't understand.

Cause for me, like, I'm always going to lead with money.

Like, whatever decision is going to make me the most money.

And that's just me being a smart businesswoman.

And maybe these, like, you know, closed-minded shareholders, like, can't see my vision.

But my vision leads with green.

And I just don't understand.

Like, I would be embarrassed to be on the Twitter board because it's like the loseriest company.

And I can't imagine you make a lot of money from being.

Especially if you're like turning down money.

Right.

So like someone comes, like, let's say, oh, this is like for me, this is the analogy.

Like, I'm on this sinking ship and I'm going to die.

And someone's like, Here, you want a life raft?

I'm like, nah.

Right.

Like, I don't understand.

Because for me, I'm always going to take the $43 billion.

But maybe I'm just not like other girls.

Maybe you're not like other board members.

I'm not like other investors.

That's for me.

No, I think it's them who are not like other investors.

Yeah.

I think most investors are interested in the green,

generally speaking.

You know, people really don't like Elon Musk.

And I know, like, billionaires are not, you know, universally loved but I was seeing some stuff going on on Twitter just like different reactions to when Jeff Bezos bought the Washington Post and I didn't even know that he owned the Washington Post the newspaper and everyone was like woohoo and then Elon wants to buy Twitter I'm like it's bad so I don't really understand but that's I think just people's like

biases yeah so for me I just don't understand like not wanting 43 billion dollars that's kind of where my head is stuck yeah and I don't understand not wanting to give the reins to Elon like everything he touches turns to gold.

It's true.

He's the richest man on the planet.

No, I don't want your help.

Like couldn't be me.

Couldn't be me.

Couldn't be me.

Go.

Maybe Elon.

If Elon isn't

Elon.

If Elon is in the business of purchasing media companies, like we are for sale.

We are for sale.

But I think.

Because one thing about me is I can be bought.

100%.

100%.

But I don't know what Elon would even want to do with us.

Like, I think he would be like, plus we are.

No,

we speak so glowingly about him.

yeah.

No, he would literally be like, here's 43 billion dollars, keep doing what you're doing.

That I could agree to.

No, that's a deal.

So, I just wanted to put it out there because he's obviously just like writing checks.

We are for sale, we can be bought.

Yes, we can.

And we will say whatever you want us to say because Teslas are the best cars on the planet.

And with all these billionaires who want to go to space, no one does it quite like Elon.

And he's so handsome and just the perfect father and a wonderful person.

So, we would like $43 billion.

Thank you.

Where's the lie, though?

$43 billion.

Please.

Where's the lie?

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

A little cargo news?

Like cargo pants?

No, like cargo ships.

Oh, Evergreen.

Yeah, Evergreen's like sister ship got stuck in the Chesapeake Bay and her body is breaking.

And it's like.

Everyone wants to recreate the magic of the Suez, but it's not.

You can't.

You can't.

You can't.

Even if Evergreen got stuck in the Suez again, it wouldn't

be the same.

It would be the same.

All of these copycats.

Try as you may.

And I know that this guy stuck got stuck in the chesapeake on purpose because he wanted attention and i'm just saying we're not giving you the attention you will never be sue as you will never be 2020 evergreen moment you're a fraud you are fake no matter how many chanel bags you borrow you will never be a lady 100 these copycats have got to quit it and also you're fucking with our cargo now yeah no now it's not funny like you wanted attention but like now you know like we could sacrifice

we could sacrifice what was on that ship because the suaz situation brought us together of course but this now you're just messing with people's furniture orders No, and you're messing with the supply chain and the supply chain is already fractured.

Like, stop.

It's not the vibe.

No.

Yeah.

Like, so suddenly, you know, for centuries, everyone has known how to drive a cargo boat.

But up until this year, it's like everyone forgot.

Thirsty fucking cargo boat.

Thirsty attention horse.

Stop.

Well, after weeks of tugging, pulling, digging, and dumping, the 1,095-foot cargo ship.

Ever forward was pried from the muddy clutches of the Chesapeake Bay on Sunday morning.

So the catastrophe.

Loser energy.

Beyond.

Loser energy.

Like, stop.

We see right through you and all your antics.

This is not what we need.

And this is not what we were referring to.

No.

And, like, these things have to be organic and it's just sales planned at this point.

No, it's giving, it's giving fraudulence.

It is.

And try as you may, like, you will never be the evergreen Suez moment.

But keep trying, sweetie.

Yeah.

Actually, don't keep trying, okay?

Because some of us are waiting for our furniture deliveries for seven months and like you're fucking with it.

100%.

100%.

and I feel as though you're nice try though and I I feel like maybe they got confused because like for example we were so here for the Suez moment like it was my favorite story of 2020 same

and so maybe they thought they were giving us more and I just needed to let everyone know and put that in there to let you guys know to stop it is not the vibe yeah it's just like it's giving loser and that's on you being a loser so that's something you have to live with I'm gonna move on with my life and I'm gonna unburden myself.

There's a lot of things that are giving loser today.

I know, oh my God.

But like, that's ever since, um, what was that story that we initially started loser energy?

Caroline Calloway, right?

There was like that big influencer scandal, and I don't really remember what happened, but it just seemed like

wrote, was writing her captions, and then the girl like wrote an expose about it, and everyone was like, the girl, the girl, and it just seemed like everyone, girl included, like, was being losers.

It was loser on loser crime.

And once you just kind of look at the world and like every situation as just really seeing like a true loser energy within every person, you will feel so free.

Yeah.

And like looking at every situation, like if you were sitting on your couch this weekend, being like, oh my wishes that Coachella, just see them all as losers and everything will change.

Everything has changed.

With that, I think we should unburden ourselves.

Please.

So Unburden Yourselves is our Monday segment where you can write in and unburden yourself with something embarrassing you did over the weekend.

And we're just going to help you feel better about it.

We're not going to try and change you.

We're just going to take that burden and squash it.

On it.

So release it thank you um

you can write in to unburden yourselves at unburden yourselves at gmail.com and it is always anonymous and we're just going to help you un that burden and unburden yourselves is brought to you by bolenbranch the number one best sheets on the planet i've got them all

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Okay, first girly girl is unburdening herself after an uncomfortable dinner with her in-laws.

Hi, ladies, longtime listener, first time unburdener.

This past weekend, I was with my boyfriend's family for Easter.

One of the nights we went out to dinner, it was a nicer restaurant, so I wore a cute little sundress.

The city we were in is hot, but the restaurant was freezing, and I didn't bring a sweater, and my dress was strapless.

Throughout the meal, my boyfriend's mom kept offering me her sweater, and it was really sweet of her, but it was so cold in the restaurant, I kept declining because I felt bad that she'd be cold.

She offered several times, but I declined for a while.

I ended up going to the bathroom, and as I look in the mirror while washing my hands, I noticed that my nipples are beaming through my dress.

Like full-blown high beams.

I could have taken someone's eye out if they got too close.

I immediately wanted to die because then it occurs to me that my boyfriend's sweet mother definitely saw and was offering the sweater to help me out, and I stupidly declined.

I put all my hair in front of

my face to cover my nips for the rest of the evening, and I prayed no one else saw.

Of course, I texted my boyfriend from the table, and he was cracking up.

Meanwhile, I was melting in my own embarrassment.

Feels good to to get that off my chest, literally.

Signed a nippy, not-so-toasty toaster.

Listen, you didn't know.

It's a part of life.

It's also, it's like not that embarrassing.

It's not that embarrassing.

And I think for the mom, like she was clearly trying to help.

And I think that you coming back from the bathroom with your hair in front of your nipples, like, just showed, oh my God, I just realized this is not who I wanna be and I'm sorry.

And I think like the woman-to-woman signaling, I feel like she got that.

And this is why it's important, like, never to cut your hair below your, above your nipples, because you never know when, for me like my hair is a protection.

I don't really get hard nipples that much.

My nipples like don't work that way.

But I have like big face syndrome.

I always have stains like spaghetti sauce, like right up here.

And having long hair is such a security blanket.

And that's why I'm just not here for like short hair.

Yeah, I think also why this wouldn't apply to us.

It's, I feel like she was wearing a sun dress without a bra, you know, which is if you always have to wear a bra, like luxury, not all of us are afforded.

There's more protection.

Yeah.

Another layer.

Right.

So that wouldn't happen.

This isn't that bad.

Especially because

it seems like you're obviously trying to impress your in-laws.

And she wasn't being a bitch about it.

She was like genuinely trying to help.

So it seems like you have a nice mother-in-law.

Yeah.

I think, I think it's totally fine.

Like obviously not ideal.

Not ideal.

And I understand like wearing a sundress and it's because it's hot outside.

You know what I've recently done like the last few summers that I would just like to extend to everyone?

Try a Pashmina.

Like, because you don't want to ruin your outfit with the sweater.

Like, it doesn't call for a sweater, but the restaurant can get really cold.

Sometimes it gets cold at night.

I've been bringing a Pashmina around in the summer and it's such a vibe.

And it just really elevates to look.

It's an extremely elegant, rich Nantucket mother thing to do.

It really is.

You know, she gets on her porch, she wraps her Pashmina, she contemplates divorce.

It's so chilly.

It's so chic.

But like anybody can wear a Pashmina, so why don't we all?

No, it's so true.

Pashminas are completely universal and completely underrated.

So just get one Pashmina.

Yeah, and they sell them on the street in New York for like a dollar.

In a color that works with any outfit.

Throw it in the wash and it's good.

And then for the next time, you don't have to worry about it.

So that's my tip of the day.

Pashminas.

Pashmina.

I love Pinminashmina.

You know what I'm thinking?

Pashminas.

Hey, let's fold Pashminas.

I would love to.

All right, next up.

Hello, Jackson, Claude.

Love you both so much.

As avid music lovers and concert goers, I hope you can understand where I'm coming from when I tell you about the most vile thing I did last week.

I was at a Justin Bieber concert and I had floor seats that were incredible.

I'm a believer for life, so this wasn't just any concert for me.

About a third of the way through the concert, I finished my drink and all of a sudden I had a shooting pain in my stomach.

Since I had such amusing seats, leaving to go to the bathroom would simply not be an option because I knew someone would have taken it by the time I got back.

So rationally, while everyone around was getting their soul snatched by beeves, I squatted down and I peed in my cup in the middle of the concert, in the middle of the concert.

As soon as the show ended, the people started shuffling out and I heard someone yell, it smells like piss and puss down here.

I got out unscathed, but I kindly asked to unburden myself for my unhinged behavior.

That's insane.

That's disgusting.

Like, I'm all for public urination, I really am like not near other people because you know you're all of our fluids carry different bacteria diseases.

Like I just don't think it's nice to be peeing in front of other people and not to be that girl, but like imagine if a guy next to you like whipped out his penis and started peeing.

Like it's gross.

Yeah.

Like it's traumatizing.

Yeah, that's like really crazy.

Also, it feels even

not to make you feel worse because you obviously already feel worse.

Not to make you feel worse and like you did it and you got away with it for the most part.

So it is what it is.

I have like so many different thoughts about it.

And also it's just reminding me like I saw this headline of Kim Kardashian saying on Ellen that like she'll do anything for fashion like even wear something if she has to wear a diaper with it.

Like maybe if you're this kind of girl who can't miss a song to pee wear a diaper to the concert.

Well, I am that that type of girl, but you know, I have this gift.

It's really, I don't think I've ever spoken about this gift.

Like at a concert, I always pee.

Like I'm the girl who pees three times during a movie and it's because I, I think, I think, I don't know the medical reason, but I think it's because my fupo weighs like really heavy on my bladder and it's just like science.

So I am that girl.

Like I and I always am having like cocktail after cocktail.

Drinking makes you pee.

I am that girl.

Like I will pee more than sorry.

That's dumb.

But alcohol.

I am that girl.

Like I will pee multiple times during an event and I have this gift.

And I guess like I'm not a GA girl.

Like I'd rather have the worst seat in the house than stand GA during a concert.

You need to know the gift that you have.

I can pee.

Like I can get from my seat to the bathroom and back in 30 seconds.

Like I will sprint.

I will pee so fucking fast.

And while I'm peeing, I'm multitasking.

I'm getting the toilet paper ready.

Yeah.

I'm fixing my lipstick.

and yeah sometimes I won't wash my hands and I'll run back like I can get to and fro in 45 seconds you're the one saying like germs with yeah you're concerned with her germs peeing on the floor yeah but you won't wash your hands like in no grab a little hand sanitizer on my way out that's a good thing about covet there's sanitizer everywhere okay that's fine that's acceptable like i just don't feel like if you're gonna pee three times in an hour like you wash your hands every time

at madison square garden yeah oh speaking of madison square garden that is where i will be May 5th for my final comedy show.

Yeah, check it out.

Girlwithnojob.com slash tour.

Jackie will be there.

And this is the first show she's seen because she doesn't support my comedy curtain.

I'm totally kidding.

But it is the first show she's going to see.

So like experience that with Jackie.

Yeah, I'm so excited.

I actually just ordered a potential outfit.

I need to do that.

And I hope it works because it's exactly what like I need to be wearing.

Like something that would be like flattering and also like pleny.

I love that for you.

Is it a suit?

What is it?

It's a dress.

Because I have respect for the dress.

For the arts.

And no, it's like we're going to the theater.

Like let's all dress up and pay respect to the queen who we're seeing.

100%.

We just back to the Justin Bieber thing.

So I have one other thought.

Also, at like a Justin Bieber concert, there's weirdly like a lot of kids.

So that just also makes it worse.

Like it's not like you're at a festival where everyone pisses and shits on the ground.

It's true.

Like know your audience.

It's true.

And it's just not acceptable.

And I'm sorry that I have to be the one to say that.

I know.

And like, I know you already feel bad because, you know, to get to a point where you're emailing us about something embarrassing you did, like, it's a low point for sure.

So I don't want to make you feel better, worse, but it's not good.

It's not good.

And all I'll say is just don't do it again.

Don't do it again.

You can forgive once.

Right.

Just don't do it again.

I want to forgive you and I want to forget you.

And if you feel the need to do it again, wear a diaper.

Like, I was in diapers for the past few weeks, and they're kind of incredible.

Yeah, but you weren't like peeing on yourself, were you?

No.

Like, if you had to pee, you weren't like, oh, I'm wearing a diaper.

Let me just pee in my diaper.

No, you went down.

But

I would rather pee in my diaper than pee on the floor at a concert.

Yeah.

No, honestly.

So for her, I would rather miss one song than

she wouldn't.

No, but also logistically, she's on the floor.

Like, it does take a long time in an arena to get like up because the bathrooms, there's no floor bathrooms.

Yeah.

You just walk up the stairs.

It's a lot diaper i understand diaper diaper all right our third and final one

claudia and jackie i am still so mortified about this on saturday my boyfriend and i were doing the most wholesome thing oh i read this one before it's disgusting on saturday my boyfriend and i were doing the most wholesome thing on saturday evening For a couple in their 20s, we decided to have dinner with his grandparents and then hanging out by them.

Beautiful.

On the way over to their house, I decided to spice things up a bit and give my boyfriend Roadhead.

Obviously, my hands weren't involved, as I'm trying not to puke, LOL, and I just planned to go to the bathroom and wash my hands shortly after arriving, not to be gross.

I kid you not, a minute after I walk in the door, his grandma was raving about this new mustard she ordered online and how I must try it immediately.

I tried to excuse myself to run to the restroom, but she was dead set.

So she opens up this jar of mustard and is like, just dip your finger in and try it.

Much to my dismay, I obliged and dip my BJ covered finger in her mustard jar.

I am mortified by the fact that her mustard now has remnants of her grandson's blowjob in it.

I can't even bring myself to tell my boyfriend that this happened.

Well, that's just unfortunate.

It's really unfortunate.

And moment of silence for grandma's mustard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, okay.

You need to go over to grandma's house, find the mustard.

You need to go to church.

You need to go to jail and repent.

You need to go over to grandma's house, find the mustard, throw it away.

Grandma cannot be using this mustard.

No, you also need to like write down the name of the mustard and buy her a new one and maybe just swap it out.

And just pray that in the time that the delivery takes, she doesn't have to use it.

But also, like, Gran insisting that you stick your finger in her mustard in a pandemic is a little crazy.

I just feel like you could have tried harder

to wash your hands because if she's like, dipped your finger in, it's like, oh, wait, I just took an Uber, so let me just wash my hands before.

I just feel like you really could have tried harder.

It's not like she had a gun to your hands.

It's not like she grabbed your wrist and took your finger and dipped it.

Right.

You could have tried, but harder.

Everyone is responsible.

Everyone is culpable.

But you you especially

knew and gran didn't know i like i didn't know and you knew i just really feel like you didn't try your best to wash your hands before dipping your finger and where was your boyfriend he knew right where was he he could have blocked i just he could have said i'll try the masters grad right he could have said use my finger like it's clean whatever yeah i just feel like you didn't try hard enough or you could have like grabbed a fork like you there were so many things you could have done to avoid this and you didn't and that's on you that that's really circling back to personal accountability that we were talking about at the top of the show.

Yeah.

You could have done more and you didn't.

And you put Gran in harm's way.

And that's not cool.

But Gran is reckless, for sure.

But you know what?

At least we're like, you know, boosting Gran's immunity, hopefully.

That's important.

Immunity is important.

It is.

Pray for Gran's mustard.

Her immune system is just rock hard.

Sam.

With Grankids like you, who needs enemies?

Okay, well, thank you for sharing, everyone.

Y'all are crazy.

Again, if you want to write in.

Please keep writing.

Yeah, we'll try.

Like,

I try not to judge, but these girls made it hard.

If you want to write in, again, it's unburden yourselves up.

But just know now your burden has been unned.

Right, you've been unned, and therefore you can be free.

And there's really nothing better than being undeni free.

Nothing at all.

Living unden wild and free.

That's my

new theme song.

So thank you everyone for listening to today's episode of The Toast, Jackie.

It's been a pleasure having you here.

I'm getting all your songs out because you didn't sing once.

I didn't sing once today.

And it really has been a pleasure

doing business with you.

Thank you so much for being here.

Anything you want to say to the toasters before you come back?

Actually, this week is Jackie's back two days a week now.

We're getting gearing back up for full-time Jackie O.

We are gearing back up.

A lot of people are like, please tell me Jackie's coming back full-time after.

A lot of people think even

Ben was like, is Jackie coming?

I'm like, are you kidding me?

yes, of course.

I saw some fake news that was like, When did we ever say we always said like month three?

Like,

two months, like, regular work is three months, so take a break.

Don't start coming for me until it's month three, and I'm still not.

If you're nowhere to be found, right?

But no, we're revving it up.

I mean, it's definitely getting easier getting here, so that's good.

Um, yeah, you got here early today.

I'm just such an early bird.

Yeah, because I woke up at the fucking crack of dawn and I just didn't go back to sleep because I think it's harder to go back to like wake up from like a 30-minute spurt than it is to just stay up.

Agreed, You know, that's what I'm learning.

Um, well, thank you so much for being here.

And this is the first day that I've come into the studio where I did not get a migraine from

the adventure.

We're all winning here today.

Yeah, it's getting better.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Show.

It's a Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fastest stories.

You need to know everybody through Friday and YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

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Find out some morning shows, leave a five star view about a beautiful standing.

It's Mario.

Have an amazing day, you guys.

We'll see you tomorrow with Ben in studio.

We've got a great week.

Remy Bader's coming, Tatia's coming, and we're finishing the week off back with Jackie.

Yo, so we're just sandwiching Jackie beginning and end.

It's going to be great.

And we'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Love you.

Bye.