S4 Ep201: The Fast Five and a Half: Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Tuesday.

Hope everyone's having a great day.

Hey, Jax, how you doing?

I'm doing well.

I think I'm doing better than you.

Yeah, well, we're getting a little bit of a late start today because the elevators in our studio were down.

One of them has been down for a while.

The other one's been like on its last leg.

Yeah.

And today was the day that they gave out and we, I had to take the stairs and I gave Jackie a heads up because you're pregnant.

I called you.

I got here first.

I said the elevators are down.

There's another entrance on the other side of the block.

like, and that one has like a service elevator.

So I told you to go.

And I braved this.

She walked up the stairs 30 minutes ago.

My knees.

And she is.

I'm not okay.

She's still not okay.

My knees are so weak.

Like, I feel dryness in my throat.

Do you need water?

And I know everyone's like, it's dramatic.

It's only five sets of stairs.

Let me just say one thing.

First of all, the ceiling height in every, in our unit is like so high.

It is.

So it's really like two flights per one flight per floor.

So it's really, I would say I walked 10 flights of stairs and I just can't breathe.

Like, I can't breathe.

I'm so exhausted.

Like, I feel like literally Tyler's friend after he ran the marathon, like, my nipples are bleeding.

Oh, wow.

Okay, well, I hope that you come to yourself at some point.

No, I'm having like a lot of mucus buildup in my throat.

Like, I'm seriously needs to go to the hospital.

Oh, my God.

Well, first, you need to deliver the fast five stories.

Then, you can do whatever you want.

100%.

We had the busiest day ever yesterday.

Like, meetings, meetings, meetings.

Podcast, podcast, podcast.

Photo shoot, photo shoot, photo shoot.

And it was really fruitful.

So we have so many announcements to share.

So let's go in order of events.

First, in order of what we did yesterday.

First, we recorded a new Patreon episode that is up now, and it is my bump date part two.

It's all things bump session time.

Baby's name, so you should really go over.

Everyone submitted their questions for me, and I answered them.

Claudia asked everything that she could possibly think of of how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, what I'm doing, what are my plans.

And you can listen to that over at patreon.com/slash a morning toast.

It was a really fun, sweet episode.

Then we have something so exciting to announce.

Our holiday winter merch collection is dropping on Thursday.

So really soon, you guys.

We were taking all of our promo pics yesterday, which will be up like once this episode goes.

They'll be up later today, so you can see everything that's going to be for sale.

We have this like on our ass photo shoot.

We did.

No, you guys.

So cute.

You guys are going to like be like, oh my gosh, who are those cuties?

No, like, who are those cuties at the plaza?

Like, is that Eloise?

No, it's Jackie and Claudia.

Yeah.

So all the things that we are selling will be up on our Instagram.

You can check them out.

And it launches on Thursday.

We want to make sure everybody gets their holiday ticket

way before the holiday.

And you know, we're all about the holidays being in November.

Oh, yeah.

No, but we just want you guys to have enough time to plan to buy.

Now, with this collection, it's unlike other collections because once it sells out, there will be no restock.

There's a limited, I mean, we ordered a lot of stuff, but it is limited.

So once it's gone, it's gone.

So if you know what you want, I would recommend signing on early.

As always,

the collection will launch at 10 a.m.

Eastern Time at shopmorningtoast.com on Thursday.

So definitely set your alarms for that.

This stuff is so cute.

It's so sickening.

It's so cozy.

Yeah, it's really holiday vibes.

It gets you in the mood.

We have ornaments, we have beanies, we have warm-ups.

A lot of the stuff that obviously everyone wants to know, Toasty Lights.

Of course, we brought back Toasty Lights.

I would say better than last year.

So every year we do a Toasty Lights sweater and we just keep on upgrading.

I love this year's Toasty Lights.

This one has some texture.

Yeah, this one is super cute.

You guys will see everything new in the coming days and it's very exciting.

Also, if you haven't gotten your merch yet from the last drop, everything will be shipped out in the next week and a half.

So like in past collections, when something sells out, we're able to order more,

more, keep going.

But everything for the holiday collection is custom.

So it was ordered a while ago and there will be no reordering.

We literally designed this collection like a year ago.

Yeah.

It's been sitting in our studio for like six months and we finally got to like put it on and take pictures yesterday.

And this shit is so sickening.

Like you've never seen anything like this in your life.

No, like we have a set of pajamas that are so comfortable.

I think I'm going to order a few more pairs.

Just I need one for every night.

No, I know they're so comfortable.

They honestly feel just as good.

Dare I say better than my Skims ones?

Yeah, no, they are so creamy, delicious, light.

And those are the kind of pajamas I've been living in.

And I need one for every night of the week.

So I'm going to order six more.

Totally.

Shopmorning

Thursday, 10 a.m.

Eastern Time.

And I just can't wait for the pics to come out.

We look so cute.

Yeah, no, it's some really, really cute stuff.

And this way, you have, like, you can plan if you want to get a gift for someone.

If you need some stocking stuffers, this is the place to go.

So we're really excited to share all of that with you.

It's an exciting week here at TMT.

It is.

Big week, big things.

Show on Thursday.

When it rains, it pours.

Oh, yeah.

You have your first show.

How are you feeling?

I'm feeling really like awful.

I can't lie.

Like, really nervous.

Like, I'm having imposter syndrome.

I'm having like disassociation from my last tour.

Like I've been practicing like non-stop.

I feel horrible.

Like I just, I'm so nervous.

I think that's like how

you're supposed to feel when you're so.

I think so too.

And until you get out there and it slaps, you're going to feel this way.

Yeah, no, totally.

But it's going to slap.

I will not rest until Thursday.

I will not feel happiness until Thursday.

Thursday's a big day.

Yeah, huge.

I'm excited to hear some of your show.

Me too.

You're going to be sharing with me.

Oh, yes.

Oh, after this.

Yeah.

I need Jackie's input.

You know, I'm, I just like need to run everything by everyone because I make like, you know, I'm very.

Oh, that she's back in every run everything by everyone mode.

Yeah, no, and it's so annoying.

I know.

She tried it out here on her own for a while.

Also, you know, I'm like so

like when it comes to my comedy, I'm not like a Dave Chappelle.

Like I don't say anything crazy.

I really like talk about myself.

But if you know, I've thrown in a couple like crazy jokes and I just need to run them by you.

Like I can't get canceled again, you know?

For sure, but you're talking to the wrong person because I'm in a sage go.

Yeah, you know, you're wild.

The worst thing is I mean, if it's funny.

I agree.

Funny is funny.

Like the worst is you say something and it's not funny.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Totally.

That's like in

Hacks

when she, like, the young writer got canceled.

What she got canceled for.

And the old writer was like, well, that's just going to be funny.

Not even funny.

Totally.

Yeah.

So, yeah, those were our housekeeping announcements.

Yesterday was just like busy businesswomen.

being busy.

And we have an amazing show for you guys.

I think we have like five and a half stories.

Is that correct?

we do like there was just it was chaotic it was so much like little mindless stories all the stories are are quite small so there were six of them and i guess we'll call it five and a half the fast five and a half and we also have deer toasters because it's tuesday so we have like a busy action-packed day.

We do and I think we should jump right in.

I'm in agreement.

So without further ado, it is time for the fast five stories, fast five and a half stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Yeah.

Okay, first story.

Miles tellers in the news.

One, we need to talk about the video, which I finally watched.

And two, he's revealing that he has been vaccinated against COVID-19 for a while.

My website is stalling.

Is it Daily Mail?

No, it's page six.

Maybe it's just my iPad.

You know, I've had this iPad for like

since the breath.

What?

Yeah, I got it right before we got canceled.

And then I was like, well, now I have a little bit of a piece of money.

Little gifts for yourself.

But that's a really long time ago.

I mean, it's still, you would never know it's like an old iPad, but like.

No, it's just making me think because I have an iPad that Ben got for me, like, for a Hanukkah or something when I was living in this apartment.

So like somewhat recently, and it looks 10 years older than yours.

Yeah.

I also feel like the more you use your things, the better they stay up.

If you don't turn on your iPad for a year, it won't ever turn on again.

No, but you know, your camera on the iPad's like really aging.

It's giving me away.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's giving early 2000s iPhone.

You guys, I'm going to try and read this article as quickly as possible before the page refreshes again.

Miles Taylor announced late Monday that he's been vaccinated against COVID after Taylor Swift fans worried about his appearance in her I Bet You Think About Me music video.

He said, Hey guys, I don't usually reload this page again.

Claude, it's tweaking.

Hey guys, I don't usually feel the need to address rumors on here, but I am vaccinated and have been for a while.

The only thing I'm anti-is hate.

Okay, I feel like he could have left that last line out.

I mean, I'm sure it's really annoying.

So, you were explaining the situation to me.

So, I had heard this rumor that Miles Teller wasn't vaccinated on Dumois.

It all started on Dumois.

Like, someone wrote in, like, blah, blah, blah, that, and he, you know, closed down this one set of a project he's working on.

And then he actually has COVID and he's working on an A-listers movie set, Taylor.

He had COVID over the summer.

This is what the Dumois thing said.

Okay.

And it just became this like larger than life rumor, just like everyone basically saying like factually with no proof, like Miles Taylor's not vaccinated.

And then the Daily Mail wrote an article about it and they actually reached out to Miles.

This was like yesterday, reached out to Miles Reps and Miles Reps were like, the facts that you have are completely incorrect.

And they still ran the story.

So it's like, what's the point in reaching out to someone's rep if they're telling you that's not true?

Like, where's the accountability?

Right.

And also, I'm sorry, where's the accountability on Dumois?

Like, you can't just start rumors like, right.

It's, it's like like actually not fair.

No, it's really crazy.

This is particularly a crazy instance of just people saying whatever they want, especially when it's like not true and I'm telling you that it's not true and you still don't fucking care.

Yeah, and no, and honestly, I also think like this whole concept of the rumor in general is bizarre.

And I think I'm, I don't know if this is like a crazy thing to say, but like let's say Miles Teller wasn't vaccinated.

Like so?

Like, you know, I just, I feel that way.

I don't know.

I personally don't feel that

it's a choice.

A lot of people feel the way you do.

They're just not the ones speaking up.

Right.

So, don't come for me.

I just think, like, it's a weird thing that it's like a news story now, like, people's medical decisions.

Like, isn't that private?

Yeah, I mean, it's supposed to be private.

It should be private.

This is not private for most people.

Everybody is being judged for their decision.

Literally, BuzzFeed News article tomorrow.

Claudia Ashray is not vaccinated.

Claudia Ashray is very vaccinated.

You know, and I just think, like, I think it's a bizarre thing, like, that

people's medical choices are like becoming news.

Yeah.

And I know that's not like a PC thing to say.

I just, I think it's weird.

No, I totally agree.

I think people should have the right to medical freedom and to privacy.

I agree.

And also, like, what we're just like making things up out of thin air.

Like, what is the proof?

Right.

Where's the proof?

Right.

I think the proof is that he's friends with Aaron Rodgers, and that just does not hold up in a court of law.

No, no, no, no.

And he's like a working actor.

And like, if you want to be making projects right now, like, you have to be vaccinated.

Like, we were just talking about, who was it?

Ice Cube stepped back.

He doesn't want to get vaccinated.

He dropped out of a movie.

Yeah.

So that's like what you have to do if you work in Hollywood.

So I have to assume, like, most people are.

Like, so

he's working on Top Gun.

Like, he's vaccinated.

Yeah.

Like, people just making things up out of thin air.

It's like, I thought we were beyond that.

Where's the ethical?

Naturally, I take that back.

No.

Also, this all came out because of the Taylor fans were worried about his presence on the music video set, which I watched a music video yesterday, and it was so good.

I mean, if I can just make one complaint, it would be I would have liked more Kelly.

I would have

wanted more.

Yes, she honestly got shafted, like with the veil behind her face.

Like show us her gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, and smart face.

Like she's so cute.

She's so pretty.

And I know she was having like the best day of her life.

It was such a great video.

And Miles is such a great actress.

I really felt like I was watching a movie.

No, I know.

First of all, like, are you okay?

I just threw up.

I get like

heartburns sometimes.

You got a tumb?

No, no, no, no, no.

It's not painful.

It's just like sometimes like, maybe it's acid reflux where it like comes up and it's like, I could throw up.

Oh, my God.

And imagine if you just threw up on the show.

I mean, you've choked.

Yes.

I wouldn't put it past you.

Let's do it.

I mean, it could be good for clickbaity.

Yeah.

Okay.

Next time I'm so clickbaity.

We'll make like a crazy thumbnail like host throws up mid-show.

Okay, next time I won't suppress it.

I'll just let it out.

Yeah, it's a free space.

Okay, cool, cool.

Yes, back to Kelly.

She didn't get nearly enough airtime.

The video was so stunning.

And for me, like every single one of Taylor's looks, like, I don't know what was my favorite.

I think when the wedding dress turned red was like so sickening.

Also, that big shoulder red dress she wore when she was eating the cake and that sickening flight attendant look in the very beginning.

Yeah, so good.

It was all so sickening.

It was really a treat after we just had a short film.

It was my cup runneth over.

We're being so spoiled.

I do believe also there is a Ronin music video coming.

Ronin's mom is like very much, you know, engaged in the Swifty community and she said, I just saw the music video for the first time.

Like it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.

And honestly, like, I don't know if I will be able to handle that.

And for those who don't know the story behind Ronin, because not to like gatekeep Taylor Swift, but like everyone likes her now but like it's like annoying do you feel that no like i feel like annoyed and like protective and territorial that's something i think you should work on because

this isn't the first time yeah because it won't be the last time

and why can't you open up your stand no by the way i can but like i just feel like we should

no one should have to no one's taking away from you no that's not what i'm worried about i just feel like everyone should have to identify themselves like what year did you become a taylor swift fan because like i just think it's interesting like you weren't there for the hard times.

It's like easy to love Taylor when everyone loves Taylor, you know?

But if someone wasn't exposed to the music, I'm just saying, I just back in the day, like, how, how is that their fault?

I just see all these now.

Exposed.

Like, she was the biggest pop star in the world.

It's not like she was like an Indian.

No, but like, you had no problem ever being a Taylor Swift fan because you were always like a country pop fan.

Like, she was made for you.

But, like, some people have a different journey.

That's totally fine.

I just would like people like on their social media to have it be in their bio.

Like, because I just feel like there's so many people, like, they're being performative.

Like, like, you don't know anything, you know i'm sorry i just think it's true and like they're doing it for like the clout and for the clicks and for like

it's like so trendy now like to do tailor content and i just think like well so are you saying like people are behaving like people are it bothers you that it can't be bothering you that people are enjoying her music for the first time not at all are people acting as though they they've been they're like being a swifty freak like you and but they haven't been there the whole time is what you're saying that and and i don't think that they're doing it for the right reasons like i really feel like they're just doing it for clout like TikToks.

Like, that's really what I feel.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Well, that's.

I could say five names right now, but I won't.

That's pretty losery.

I'm not going to lie.

Of me?

No, no, no.

Of people.

Like, if you're new to Taylor SwiftN, like, you can't be a Swifty just yet.

Like, you haven't been here.

No, I know.

And it's just like,

I don't know.

It's really bothering me.

But I was going to say something else.

We just, this was supposed to be a side note.

Ronin.

Thank you.

Okay, so Ronin is

a song on Taylor's album that she wrote based on this blog she read once about this woman woman who lost her son Ronan to cancer.

He was four years old and she just wrote this like beautiful blog about like grief and Ronan's like final, you know, time on earth.

And it was so moving and she just wrote a song about it.

She reached out and she was like, I was very moved by this.

Can I write a song about it?

And she's only ever performed it once at the Stand-Up to Cancer Benefit.

And it was like so beautiful.

And I don't know how she didn't cry.

And it's on the red album.

It's on the new one too.

And Swifty's like know and love and follow Ronin's mom.

I actually was looking at her Instagram the other day and she talks to Taylor.

Her and Taylor are still very much friendly and in touch.

And she revealed on Twitter that there is a Ronin music video.

So I actually don't think like

the sickening content from Taylor is over.

Like I think we'll get actually a few more music videos.

Wow, that's really exciting.

And I didn't know that story until like this week.

It's such a nice story.

And like, that's what's so great about Taylor.

Like, she does these amazing things and like doesn't even tell anyone about them, you know?

Yeah.

Definitely.

And only true fans would know that.

Okay.

I'm definitely gatekeeping Taylor Swift and I'm very proud of it.

I'm not gonna lie.

Okay, as long as you know what you're doing and you're comfortable with that.

Yeah, 100%.

It's because it's reminding me like when 1989 got so big, she was so popular.

Yeah.

And then it was right, you know, it was the rise before the fall.

And like all those fair weather fans who like, fans who like loved blank space and just like became Taylor fans, like they were nowhere to be found when it came to, you know, Taylor.

Mm-hmm.

Going, it's easy to love her when everyone loves her, but it's, it gets hard sometimes.

And I just, I don't know, I feel like I feel resentful of people.

I do.

So this is just giving me like pre-1989 vibes.

Okay.

I hope that you're able to work through that.

Maybe you should talk to someone.

Like, I can't, I have too much to work through right now, like with my show.

Like, it's so busy.

Yeah, but I'm not sure.

But you have to make time.

The merch is launching.

Like, I'm my mental health as it pertains to Taylor Swift is very much on the back burner.

Maybe next week.

Maybe we have some free time.

Yeah, also.

Some time off.

We forgot to tell everyone we are off for Thanksgiving, the week.

That's why we just released our first Patreon episode of the month.

If you're looking for episodes next week, they will be on Patreon.

Yeah.

But we are taking a much-needed vacation.

I'm so excited.

Me too.

I love being like in the city doing nothing during the holidays.

I believe they call that a staycation.

Yeah, but I hate the word staycation.

Okay, fine.

Like it's one of those words that like it's chuggy.

I don't, I don't hate it.

I don't hate it, but I, but I respect your right to hate it.

Okay, good.

I like sends a chill down my spine.

I actually hate it.

Okay, our next story.

Harry Styles is launching a beauty line and it is now available to shop.

Nail polish, right?

Four nail polish colors, two two skincare products.

The brand is called Pleasing, and it is now available to order.

So he is the latest in a string of celebs who are launching a beauty line.

And I actually think that this is good.

This works.

I mean, it's

unique, you know?

As unique as it can be.

Like, everyone's doing, you know, some sort of beauty line.

I don't know a lot of people who do skincare, I mean, who do nail polish except for Kristen Takeman.

So I think this is good.

I think this is good.

And he wears nail polish.

Yeah, and it's actually been like a point of like controversy.

People are like, ah boy is wearing nail polish.

So you know what he's like owning the narrative.

Does he always wear like 10 fingers down?

No, he does like, you know, one here, one there.

It depends on how he's feeling.

Who's the person on Bravo who's always wearing

Craig is always wearing one finger polish.

They should do sewing down South Polish.

They should collab.

Pleasing Sewing Down South Polish.

I mean, Harry Styles is just one of those celebrities that like anything he launches will be popular.

Yeah, but this but this is also just a good idea based on his brand.

Like it's not so far-fetched and it's not like he's trying to sell like

makeup that he doesn't wear to girl.

Like it's not like he's just slapping his name on something.

Like I could believe that when he's wearing his nail polish now, like it is his brand nail polish.

I agree.

What are your thoughts?

Have you seen any of the conversation happening around REM Beauty?

What's the convo?

Well, it was released.

Okay.

And the convo is that it's just giving very much Claire's, which I did agree with.

It is a lower price point, but I also was thinking, like, who are Ariana's fans?

People who shop at Claire's.

Also, like, I'm completely here for Claire's.

I think it's one of the happiest stores in the world.

I agree.

It's such a good time.

You can get so much fun stuff there.

For so little money.

Yeah, and it's great for, it's great for pre-teens and teens.

Right.

I'm sorry, not every beauty brand needs to be.

$50 foundation.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I actually.

And also, like,

her young fans, like, aren't wearing foundation.

Like, they're wearing like fun.

Glitter.

I mean, I haven't even seen the stuff.

I just saw that Kim got the PR package, which was noteworthy because of Pete.

Right.

But also, Kim, in the PR video, gave it to North.

Perfect.

Perfect.

So I think that just a lot of people were unclear on what it was going to be and were disappointed in the sense they thought it was going to be like at Sephora.

And I think actually it's a great way to like stand apart from like, you're never going to be Fenty and you're never going to be Rare Beauty.

Like do something different.

Something for the young kids.

And that's who goes to Ariana's show.

I think that if Ari like wanted to do something like Rare Beauty, that she could have achieved that, but it's being done.

Her audience is so much younger.

That's so much fun.

And they're leaders.

Yeah, they're.

And Morphe, too.

That's what I was thinking.

And there's a space for it.

I think it's a great idea.

Justice for Claire's.

I'm sorry, calling something Claire's is not insulting to me.

No, I only have positive associations.

Like, you could just get anything there with totally just up your style.

You could get a pair of fake glasses that looked real.

And like, you know, any nerd who takes off his glasses, and everyone realizes she's handsome.

And when we were kids, we did not have our ears pierced.

And like, Claire's was the only store that really catered to us.

They had like the little sticky ones.

We had many, many options.

We did.

You could get like headbands.

You could get fun scrunchies.

You could totally change up your look.

You could reinvent yourself at a decent price.

No, very fair, competitive prices.

I'm all here for Claire's.

I'm actually, it makes me proud of Ari that that's the road that she went down.

I think that's most fun for her fans.

Yeah, and you know what?

I think it's high time we stop comparing things to Claire's as an insult.

Like, it's not.

No, it's not.

It's fun for the whole family.

I, like, I only have positive associations.

If I was in a mall right now and I saw Claire's, like, I would probably walk in.

Yeah.

Still, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's so much fun.

So cute.

You could get such great inspo there.

Yeah.

And, you know, I've seen YouTubers do like a full face of Claire's makeup, and it's cute.

Yeah.

Okay, so officially it's my iPad that keeps crashing, not these websites because now we're moving on to the daily.

Maybe it's time for a software update.

Oh, I think they were bugging me about something.

Yeah, just charge it overnight and let it do its thing.

It's fine.

I can add lib.

Next story.

Ready for it?

It's not up yet.

No, no.

I'm ready.

Are you ready?

Oh, yeah.

Downton Abbey, the movie 2 trailer is here, and the crew is going to the French Riviera.

Oh, it's like deadass not working.

You know, it keeps just like crashing, restarting, crashing.

Oh, man's.

I know.

Okay, the trailer looks so gorgeous.

Like, love seeing the gang back together.

And what I found most shocking about the entire announcement was that

Maggie Smith has returned.

And spoiler alert.

In the last film, she sat down with Michelle Dockery and was like, I'm sick.

I'm not well.

I won't be here much longer, it's your job, like kind of passing on the crown.

So I assume that meant she was done with the franchise, like she wouldn't be in the next film.

I think that, so Maggie Smith, I believe, has Graves disease.

So I think that in the last film, they left it like that so that if she couldn't be in the second film, it wouldn't be a gaping hole.

But the fact that she can be there is just so stunning.

It's amazing.

It's a miracle.

The premise for this movie is that Dowager Countess has inherited a villa in the south of France.

Dowager Countess comes into money?

Yes, she has like a former lover who I guess left or something.

Like, this is so dowager.

So dowager.

And the crew is headed to the French Riviera.

So do they spend a lot of time at downtown?

Like, that's my favorite part of the.

Well, there were downtown shots for sure, but I think there's also a bit of travel.

I also saw a clip.

It appears as though Tom gets married.

There was like a wedding and I saw Tom kissing someone.

Oh, yeah.

And in some of the pictures, he was holding the hand of a lady.

So I wonder if it's the woman from the last movie.

I feel like no, but I would like that because she came into money and

oh right it was like the queen's the queen's assistant's like love child or whatever yes i would love there was a point where like i really thought like the perfect ending to the show was gonna be like michelle dockery and tom getting married like you know back in the day like it wasn't weird for like your sister dead sister's husband to like marry you you know yeah but they had a kid so that is if they hadn't had a kid maybe

and also i'm good we were just like getting so close and like becoming real family that, like, I was like, maybe, like, these two could fuck, you know?

But I'm glad the way it ended, you know.

Yeah.

No, I'm really excited for the movie.

It comes out in March, which is a little disappointing.

I was hoping, you know, for a holiday special.

It's a huge miss, I'm not going to lie.

Yeah.

You know, I have to believe that they were striving for Christmas.

Yeah, maybe delays with COVID.

Yeah.

And the other movie, the first movie came out over the holidays.

Like, and I think it did really well for them.

But I'm sure, you know, with COVID.

And I guess I'm just glad it's not holidays 2023.

Totally.

And And like, I'm just glad that, like, this is the first time I'll be like on time, you know?

Like, I watched the movie, the

riding to something with everyone else.

Like, I watched the series and the movie, like, years after they premiered, and now I'm like a part of something, and you know how much that means to me.

Yeah, I'm happy for you.

Thanks.

Are you right?

But do you think that there's someone out there who's gatekeeping Downton Abbey and is upset that you're like coming in

to the final hour?

That's a really good question.

Let me tell you why I don't think so, but it's very possible.

And if they did, I would respect that.

I really would, because I am the definition of like a bandwagon Downton fan.

The reason why I don't think that it's because it wasn't like there was like this big hoopla like about Downton that like got me involved.

Like I just picked it up, you know, like out of sheer curiosity and interest.

So you, so if someone just has picked up Taylor out of sheer curiosity and interest.

No, it's their like I feel like people are picking Taylor up right now because of the hype and it's like so easy and fun to be like a part of something everyone's already a part of.

You know what I mean?

Like it lacks originality.

It lacks creativity.

Yeah.

But so how would that Downton gatekeeper know that you

because I picked up downton like years after the show ended years after the movie came out like I just like it piqued my interest.

Okay.

And I'm not claiming to be like the number one downton stand like of all time.

Like I'm not like you probably know more about like the family and like, you know, like you like I just I'm not like an encyclopedia.

Like I still get confused about like who's related to who, you know, like I'm not pretending to be like the biggest downton ever, where I feel like a lot of people on social media are like acting like Taylor's host's biggest fan.

I'm like, I know you hadn't heard red up until two days ago.

Got it.

And that fucking pisses me off.

And that I continue to keep, and I'm very proud of.

Okay, I look forward to you telling me who you are.

I have like four people in mind.

Great.

I can't wait to hear offline.

Yeah.

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Great.

Thank you, Claudia.

It's a pleasure.

I've migrated over to my phone because these technical difficulties are not going to work.

Oh, okay.

You know, like, that's how I do the show when you're not here because, like, I do have an iPad and it's always dead, and I only pull it out when I have to go on a 15-hour flight.

Got it.

Well, SNL star Keenan Thompson sells a humorous memoir for a $1 million payday.

Saturday Night Live veteran Keenan Thompson has sold a memoir for $1 million, publishing Insiders exclusively Tell Page 6.

That's a lot of money.

Yeah.

A source said that the comedian had two book concepts in the works and that he sold the humorous memoir for a seven-figure payday.

Perhaps that means he has another book that he's working on.

But seven-figure could also be $9 million.

That's true.

Yeah.

It would be the first tome for Thompson, but the book arrives in a long line of printed matter by SNL stars and alumni, including Tina Faye, Tracy Morgan, David Spade, Colin Jost, Gilda Radner, Amy Poehler, Jay Moore, and others.

Oh, you know, I never thought about it, but I should read Tracy Morgan's book.

I know.

All those books, like I was just getting, you know, some book itch.

Keenan is the longest-serving cast member in the NBC Sketch Comedy Show's history.

Wow.

Having starred on SNL since 2003.

I knew he was the longest running, like, that's there now, but I didn't know in the history of the show.

No, that's insane.

That's amazing.

I mean, this book sounds so good.

Well, let's not forget, Keenan was like a Nickelodeon kid.

Keenan and Cattle, he was on like a Dan Schneider show.

Like, I'm sure he has a lot of shit to say about like the whack ass shit that went on at Nickelodeon back in the day.

Yeah, no, I think that this is going to be such a great book.

Like, I, I'm, as a reader, very excited about this.

Me too.

And I feel like there's just a lot of different layers to Keenan.

Like, obviously, he's very funny, but you know, I actually have been in an Uber with a driver who said he drove Keenan to SNL once and he was the nicest guy of all time.

Like, he's just like a real humble guy, like, from the neighborhood.

And I think that's all really going to come through in the book.

And I'm very much looking forward to it.

Yeah, I was actually voting last night the Goodreads, you know, the Goodreads app.

No, yeah.

They came out with their 2021 like book awards and you can vote vote in each category.

Oh, cute.

And so I was, you know, making my voice heard.

And in the memoirs and autobiography category, unfortunately, you were snubbed.

Was I in it?

No.

You were snubbed.

That's just because I say, I'm a New York Times bestseller.

No, no.

It was like, it was clear.

It was glaring that.

Like, were anyone else who are similar to me in there?

Yeah.

Like, whatever celebrity memoirs came out this year, which...

No, but like, not celebrity, because I'm like not a celebrity, but like, okay, like, like any reality stars or influencers?

Definitely influencers, but I can't remember.

What the fuck?

Yeah, no, it was extremely hurtful.

But what I realized was of all the ones that were nominated, I hadn't read any

this year.

I'm pulling out my Goodreads app.

How do I get to these voting?

And how do I lodge a complaint?

I found the, and I actually.

Oh, Jackie voted.

I see.

You're the only person I follow on Goodreads.

Did it tell you what I voted for?

Yeah.

We are the Brennans.

Oh my God, that's like really.

Oh, Clara and the Sun.

I'm literally.

Oh, Goodreads Choice Awards.

Okay.

Fuck these people.

Nominees.

I also want to say, so many many of the Redheads' books are nominated.

Is it memoir and autobiography?

Would that be me?

Yes.

I'm about to blow this shit up.

And I also wanted, I was going to like post this on my Instagram story, but it's like a weird thing to post.

But like, if I shouldn't vote in the Goodreads Awards, like, I want to figure out what the best books are.

Wow, Stanley Chu Chi, did you vote for him?

No, I didn't vote because I hadn't read any of them.

Okay, I just want to say, I don't know anyone on here.

Like, it's not making.

Okay, I feel fine.

Like, these are actual famous people.

I don't know.

Cicely Tyson's book was the biggest book of all all year.

I would never even like think to

even

orbit near that planet.

I don't know.

Randy Carlisle, I mean, Hunter Biden.

I didn't really hear a lot about that book.

I think that's like rigged.

I'm just, I'm being honest.

Like,

not to get political, but like, that sounds rigged.

But a lot of these books, like, every time I would like refresh my New York Times list, like, checking to see if I made it, they were on here for weeks and weeks and weeks.

I don't feel snubbed at all.

I really don't.

I'm being honest.

It's so mature.

I thought like, you know, like Stasi was on here.

I'm like, those are my peeps.

Like, get me in.

Her book wasn't this year.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

Anyways, it just made me realize that I don't think I read any celebrity memoirs this year.

And that used to be my favorite genre of book.

And like, this is making me really excited for Keenan's book.

That's a really roundabout way of what I was trying to say.

There's actually a few celebrity memoirs that are on my list.

Have you ever read Colin Joe's?

No.

I heard it's like it's critically acclaimed.

Like people love it.

Okay, maybe

I can read it first.

Yeah.

And then tell me.

Yeah, there's a few celebrity memoirs, but I just can't remember which.

I agree.

I haven't read one in a while.

But I was feeling so proud because so many of our Redheads books are nominated.

A Slowfire Burning, How to Fail at Flirting, Clara and the Sun, We Are the Brennans,

Detransition Baby.

Like, that's really cool.

Oh, by the way, you know, there is this, I follow them on TikTok.

Actually, no, I don't follow.

They just like always show up.

So I don't need to follow them.

But it's called Celebrity Memoir Book Club.

And they do...

And they do, they debrief the books on TikTok so you don't have to read the books.

But they also do like a podcast recapping it, which is a really good idea.

And they do like such random celebrities that you never even knew had, had.

Like they just did Caitlin Jenners.

I didn't even know she wrote a book.

When did she write it?

I don't know.

That's so interesting.

And yes, I'm familiar with Celebrity Book Club.

We've actually got done some Redheads ads.

You have?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, look at you.

We did an RSS drop.

Ooh.

Yeah, look at us.

Hey, look at me.

Hey, look at me.

So, yes, I will be reading this book.

Me too.

Looking forward to it.

Vote in the Goodreads Awards.

They're not paying me.

I just want to read it.

No, actually, don't.

Don't.

Oh, so you're going to be able to do that.

I'm back to being bitter.

I'm back to being bitter.

No, no.

I'm not going to to promote their, like, thing.

If you're going to go do something, like, go to shopmorningtouse.com.

Or just, like, join the Redheads.

Or go to Patreon.

Or get my book, girlwithnojob.com slash book.

Like, but actually, I was in the category for like best fiction book of the year, and so many of them I had never heard of.

Fiction is, like, just novels.

Fake, yeah.

So many of them I had never heard of, so I screenshotted all of them.

I'm like, well, if these are nominated, like, maybe these are the best books.

How did I not hear of them?

I have to say, like, as a company, I think that like Goodreads is like a really good company.

I can't explain that.

It's an amazing platform.

It's an amazing platform.

Like, it's just like a, there are so few corners of the internet that aren't like ransacked with like hate and like racism.

Like it is just like this lovely platform for readers to engage.

Like you can like things.

You can five star.

Like it's just, it's seamlessly integrated into Kindle.

Like I think it's a really,

I give them five stars all around as a platform.

I really do.

I agree.

And it's just.

Like no one's ever said anything anti-Semitic to me on Goodreads.

Well, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to poke the mirror.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Okay, our next story.

Are you ready for it?

I'm so hungry.

Like, oh, you know what?

We sat like because of the stairs, like we were like 20 minutes delayed.

And I feel like this is the time like I would maybe be having a snack.

You'd be reaching for a snack.

I'm so crazy hungry.

If you wanted to get a snack and eat it while I read the next story, we could mute your mic.

You know what I think is a better idea?

Like, I'm ordering lunch.

I know people hate when I do it on the podcast, but we do have a meeting.

Like, we need lunch.

So you read.

I'm listening.

Okay, get my usual.

You know what I like.

Of course.

You actually have already read this article because you sent it to me.

I did.

Tom Sandoval is ready to be taken seriously.

I actually only read the headline because that's all you need to hear.

Okay, Tom Sandoval is ready to be taken seriously as a musician after his Hollywood show.

Unlike many of his fellow Bravo lebrides who have dabbled in music, resident Vanderpump Rural Showman, Tom Sandoval can actually sing.

P.T.

Barnum, I'm sorry, is rolling over.

In his grave, yeah.

The 38-year-old put his pipes to use Sunday night while performing with his new nine-piece cover band, Tom Sandoval and the Most Extras.

Can I say that's a big band?

Yeah, that's like

necessarily big.

Yeah.

Oh, maybe that's what they're trying to do, weddings.

And that would actually be a great idea, but I don't think that's the idea.

I think he's ready to be Steven Tyler.

Right.

Him and his band are called Tom Sandoval and the Most Extras because I don't know if you would know this about Tom Sandoval, but his thing is doing the most and being extra.

No, that's a really, I'm so glad you brought that up because I wasn't sure.

They performed at Hollywood's Hotel Cafe.

There, Tom spoke exclusively with Page 6 about his passion for singing and his hope for a fair shot in the industry despite his reality TV notoriety.

He said, When I first started out,

well, this I found interesting.

He said, When I first started out on Vanner Pump Rules, I thought I might have ruined my chances of getting into music or even acting.

I thought people aren't going to take you seriously, you're just a reality person.

But what I have found is that the show has honestly been an amazing platform to do anything, really.

Music is something I've always loved and have always come back to like a mistress.

Okay, I was

ruining it.

I was actually down for that whole quote until the end.

Sandoval.

Salmon under salad?

What kind of salad?

This one that you like.

Oh, no, no, no.

No?

Oh, no.

Any substitutions?

You don't like the repeppers?

I don't like the red peppers, no chicken dressing on the side.

You got it.

For your girly.

Anyways, so this is the start of a new music career for Tom Sandoval.

He actually has been on the show for years.

Like, he was always doing Tim music.

Oh.

Touch in public.

Yeah.

So, hey, let's touch and public.

I guess he's back to pursuing that dream.

It's not like the most far-fetched thing, but this article was extremely glowing and kind.

And we

need to hit up his PR person.

Yeah.

And we'll see where it goes from here.

I mean, everybody tagged me in the video he posted.

So he, what song?

It was like an old school.

He did like...

It was a cover.

Yeah, but what song was it?

Like, whatever.

So he did like this little promotional video with his enormous band, and then it was promoting the fact that they were having their first show.

And I guess that's where Page Six got their hands on on him.

And it's just.

You know, they also did like an accompanying photo shoot, which like is really quite sickening.

By the way, that's very nice.

I feel like probably

Tom provided the photos, if I had to guess.

Oh, yeah.

And then some of the Vanderpump gang are there.

So, I mean, I'm happy for him.

Like, follow your dreams.

But I'm not looking forward to this storyline on the next season.

I think.

And this is really just, I think, for me, like setting in.

I think so many,

not so many like I think Tom sees and we all see like what certain people did on the show and what they turned into like when you think of stashy like stasi's not even on the show anymore and I would still consider her the most famous person on the show her podcast is enormously successful and yes she's like very low-key right now because of like her baby and obviously the big scandal but like she will eventually go back on tour I think and she's writing another book and writing another book like she has an enormous platform with or without the show which is an amazing thing and that's something she like very intentionally I think did during her time on the show like But also, it's like, you can't,

you can try hard as you may,

but what

the people who stick, they just, they, they have that factor.

I agree with that too.

Yeah, like a star's a star.

A star.

Yeah.

And I do believe, unfortunately, Tom Sanoval is not a star.

Remains to be seen.

I'm really trying to be nice because like I'm just not in the mood to like have a pit about being mean.

Okay, well, I don't think I'm being mean.

I'm just thinking like, okay, lunch has been ordered.

Sorry, like, I'm so hungry.

Okay.

Do what what you got to do.

It's just, it's giving cringe.

It's not giving authentic.

Like, I don't, I just, it's just giving, it's giving cringe.

Okay.

I think that's fair.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Also, speaking of celebrity memoirs and Stossy's next book, the title of it came out.

We never talked about it, but it's called Off With My Head, I believe.

Yeah.

And it is a great title.

Yeah, I actually.

I thought it was a great title too.

I guess someone like fucked up and put it on Google Books.

Well, you have to like eventually put it.

I don't know when it's a single thing.

Was that like not a single case?

It was like something that like, yeah, but it's on Google now, Off With My Head.

And in turn got fired over that?

No, but it's still on, so I guess, like, I mean, that happened to me too, but nobody cares about me, so nobody found it.

Got it.

It's Off With My Head, the Definitive Basic Bitch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom.

Obviously, she's been through quite a scandal.

So I just think that'll be very interesting.

I like the title a lot because it's like cancel culture and she also loves Marie Antoinette.

Yeah.

I think that'll be good.

Lots of good books coming out.

Lots of good books coming out.

Should I write a sequel?

No, honestly.

I feel like I've said what I need to say.

Yeah.

I need to live a little bit more.

Yeah, and you just need to wait until you have something to say.

Right.

You don't can't force ceasing.

No, definitely not.

Like, I need another scandal.

Maybe I should just keep going on about the vaccine.

Maybe you should keep those jokes in that you're about to show me.

Totally.

Are you ready for a fifth and a half story?

So it's not the fifth and final?

No, it's actually like beyond the final.

It's the final story.

Yes, it is.

Our five and a half story: Hillary Duff recreates her with love dance after a 2007 performance goes viral on TikTok.

After a years-old performance of hers went viral, the 34-year-old actress joined in on the fun by recreating her dance moves from her 2007 appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

She shared a video of herself dancing along to her song with Love side by side with the original.

She joked in her Instagram caption that she only gave into the trend so that she'd stop receiving messages about the viral video.

I have to be honest, like, I actually can very much believe that.

Like, sometimes people send me the same thing over and over and over again that I almost want to post it to my story to let you guys know that I've seen it.

But you know what, Jackie?

Like, that's what it means to be a star.

Right.

And then I don't because I'm like, well,

why am I complaining?

Is that everybody's been thinking of you?

Right.

Literally, that's exactly what I'm saying.

So she said, so I can restop, so I can stop receiving texts about this peace sign.

Also, I TikToked and it was a 12% kind of day.

Okay, so while I loved that this video went viral, I thought the guy who re so basically like there are a couple like guys on TikTok who were like make like doing her dance side by side because it's like such a weird dance.

It's like she's giving it like 5%.

Was that what she meant by 12%?

Even though it wasn't.

She's giving it like the dance no energy and it's like so funny and weird.

And it's also like such early 2000s dance moves It's really like this time capsule and you also I think at least I forget a lot of the time like she had this like solo career, you know Yeah, so when the video went viral I was living for it and honestly like I didn't need Hillary Duff to acknowledge it and I'm gonna be really honest like I thought the way that she did it was really fucking rude like she like She posted it's like so everyone can stop tagging me and then on TikTok she like ended the video and she was like you're welcome and wrote you're welcome in the comments too like no offense bitch like we don't need you like we were having fun on the trend without you like you're welcome actually to you for making your like name relevant once again and reminding everyone about your iconic solo career.

Like, I thought, like, I actually really did not like the sense of entitlement I was getting.

Maybe I'm looking too much into it.

It was giving Maui from Moana.

You're welcome.

Exactly.

Like, it was giving entitlement.

I'm sorry.

That is so funny.

Like, you're welcome.

Like, we weren't waiting.

I wasn't.

I was enjoying the funny TikTok creators who found the video, who started the trend.

Like, I was enjoying their originality.

Like, I really didn't need you to come on and like dump on it.

I don't know if anyone else felt that way.

I was just, maybe I like stopped when I was really like early this morning.

It's like a bad moon.

You're welcome.

I'm like,

it really, I was like, go fuck yourself.

Like, you're welcome.

You're welcome.

We're talking about you.

That's literally like your job.

Okay, okay.

You're welcome.

Sorry.

Okay, I'm glad you got that off your chest.

And that was why we had to add that as a story because Claudia said she had some

strong feelings.

She wanted to share.

Yeah.

And boy, am I glad that you did.

Well, we're not done yet.

I've got more thoughts to share because it's Tuesday, which means it's Dear Toasters, our advice segment, which you can submit to if you want.

It's deartoasters at gmail.com.

Write us in.

You can change people's names.

We will not blow up your spot ever.

And if you've also written us in recently with an update, we would, no, sorry.

If you've also written us in recently and we've read your quandary on air, please update us.

We want to know how things went.

Like, did you tell the guy?

Did you not?

Did you break up?

Tell us.

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All right, dear toasters, first up.

Hi, Jackie and Claudia.

I first want to say Mazzle Tove to Jackie on your pregnancy and to Claudia on your upcoming tour.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Claudia, my roommates, and I can't wait wait to see you perform in Los Angeles.

Tickets available at girlsnojub.com/slash tour.

When I listened to Jackie and Ben's episode about transitional lenses, I know, I knew I had to write in.

Okay.

I've been seeing my boyfriend for about a year, and he's the most thoughtful human being on the planet.

The problem is, his wardrobe is horrendous.

He wears transition lenses.

He wears transition lenses, but that is the least of his wardrobe problems.

He's such an attractive guy, but he wears truly horrible outfits and he likes it.

He'll put together like a crazy printed top with shorts that don't fit and a crazy printed mid-calf sock.

I've mentioned him a few times how it would be nice if he wore clothes that fit more or more simple outfits that match.

He always responds with what he doesn't like.

He always responds with that he doesn't like dressing to be with the in crowd and hates spending money on clothes.

I'm working on getting him some sample, some staple pieces that I like, but I can't afford a whole new wardrobe for him.

What do you suggest I do in this situation?

Sincerely, a toaster in need of advice.

Okay, I just want to say, like, I think you should leave your boyfriend alone.

I agree.

I would say let the man live.

And, like, you say, he's so attractive.

So, all of a sudden, he starts dressing like James Bond and everyone starts turning their hands.

And then you got, like, new problems.

No, you have, you have, like, honestly, a jewel.

Like, you have a man who, like, is very, very handsome, but, like, isn't aware of it because, like, he's obviously dressing like a freak.

Um, and that's great.

Like, let you get to see him, like, without clothes on.

Like, you know, like, I don't think you need to prove anything.

I, like, even though, like, me and Ben have this, like, point of contention, like, whenever we go to a wedding, Ben's, you know, I told you, he goes to Bloomingdale's like a second before it drives me nuts.

And he always wants to buy something crazy.

Like, we're going to a black tie wedding.

He's like, All right, should I get like a rainbow bow tie?

And I'm like, No, Tom Sandoval, stop.

Like, it bothers me so much.

Tom Sandoval tendencies.

Because Ben always wants to wear something crazy.

And I'm always like, just go with the black shirt and the black pants.

Like, it's very slimming.

It makes you look handsome.

Like, I'm always like erring on the side of Symbol, and he thinks that's so boring.

And I've started to call him Bozo because he literally wants to wear these crazy things.

And I'm like, you look like a clown.

And like, I just don't know how to get through to him.

Like,

you just have to dress normal.

Like, and I guess it's like, it's not about him,

like, not like it's in.

There's a difference between, like, oh, he just has bad style, but he likes what he wears versus, like, he's dressing like a clown and embarrassing me.

Yeah, 100%.

So, and also, when she does say, like, all of these, like, patterns and like crazy things, so it's not like he just has like bad style and he's like a stain on his shirt, like, it's like ugly clothes.

Yeah, no, and it's like, but they're also attracting attention, so it's like quite flamboyant, but bad.

But isn't it like,

but he likes it, and it's not like he's not thinking about it.

So he's putting thoughts on it.

Why can't Ben dress like Bozo?

Well, because we're public figures and I just don't, I can't take the ridiculous.

So if you had a more low-key life?

Yeah, Ben could wear whatever the fuck he wanted.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Like, I have a reputation double and I can't let Ben leave the house like looking like Bozo.

Okay.

I think that's fair.

Okay.

I didn't know that that was playing.

And also because like when I tell him what to wear, like he does look better.

Like, okay, for a Simon's welcome party, like Ben, of course, wanted to bring his Bozo energy.

And I told him exactly what to buy at Bloomingdale's and he did.

And he looked so handsome.

and the whole night he was like oh man I look great I'm at the fire alarm

should we go I think we'll wait to see what everyone else does let's see

are people filing out do you see smoke do you no

am I seeing a reflection hold on oh my god you're the scariest person alive so sorry

I'm seeing a reflection Of smoke over there.

Okay, like seriously, I just had a heart attack.

Does Claudia's camera look a little cloudy?

Like smoky?

Are you serious?

Doesn't it?

I'm just gonna check the hallway.

Hold on.

Okay, just go sniff.

Give a big sniff.

Wow, this episode is beyond chaotic.

From the stairwell to the iPad.

It smells really weird outside, but not like fire.

She says it smells weird, but not like fire.

Like chemicals.

Wait, it's off.

But it does smell really weird.

Okay, we'll shut the door if there's something funky outside.

We can always exit through these windows, by the way, and they have a staircase all the way down the scaffolding.

Okay.

I'm just trying to protect my pregnant sister.

Yeah.

If it goes off again, we'll wrap the show and get the fuck out of here.

Okay, but it definitely, like, maybe I'm just being crazy, but it looks like on the camera, like, we're foggy.

No, it doesn't.

Stop.

No, okay.

Okay, let's move on before, you know, before we die.

Before we need to evacuate.

Okay, hello, Claudia, Jackie, and Brew.

And do, congrats, Jackie on the baby, and Claudia on the tour.

I can't wait to see you in Dallas.

Tickets available at growthlandjab.com slash tour.

All right, I'll get into it.

I'm a longtime toaster.

I need some advice.

I recently, this year, had a friend breakup with my childhood best friend of 15 plus years.

She said some pretty terrible things to me, and I haven't spoken to her in months because I removed myself from a very escalated situation that occurred.

Before this time, I was dating a guy for about five or six months who I brought around my family and around her for a few events.

And long story short, they are now dating.

She posted an Instagram story this week with flowers he sent her.

He never even gave me a

he never even gave me a closer on the situation of us ending, and she also never acknowledged her wrongdoing and now seems to be with him despite me.

She's been going around saying terrible things about me, and it is heartbreaking.

So, my question is, what do I do?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

My heart hurts, and all around, I feel sad, humiliated, but also in retrospect, I'm glad about my decision to distance myself from both of them.

I appreciate any and all advice on how to navigate this.

Thanks, a sad toaster who's just trying to be positive in this very uncomfortable situation.

Tabula Rasa.

You just need Tabula Rasa in the sense that you want to move forward with them or just forget them?

Like, forget them like I think you need to be like you know sometimes you have your friends then you have like other people that you know and maybe put more energy into like other avenues in your life and and start building anew This is gonna be the lamest thing I'll probably ever say on this podcast and I'll deny it till I die But when people show you who they are Believe them it's true like you're just now noticing like your friend is not only a fucking animal saying disgusting things to you about you to other people and now dating a guy that you were dating very recently She showed you who she is.

Who the fuck would want to be around someone like that?

It's not worth being heartbroken over.

I pity this girl.

I feel sad for her.

Her life is miserable.

Oh, and this guy's just like, whatever.

Who cares?

I just feel like I'm now, I'm just like, really concerned about the fire alarm, but um, no, I feel like we're really okay.

Okay, you're not feeling like a little funny, what, like, woozy,

no, are you?

I don't know.

I mean, I'm just feeling weak from the stairs still.

Oh, wait, go listen.

There's an announcement.

What did he say?

I have news.

He said, we just experienced a false alarm.

Please disregard.

We're fine.

Oh, I'm feeling so much better.

Yeah, you know, but it does smell really funky out in the hall.

Like, I'm whatever.

Even our lunch is here.

Okay, now let me get back to the task at hand.

I couldn't

focus on everything, but what I will say is, like,

you know,

potentially this was very nefarious behavior and like your friend is just like a man-stealing like whore.

Yeah.

But say for like, what if they're meant to be and it's true love and like that's just how they met and that's really fucking awkward.

But

you need to look elsewhere for, like, I think it's just.

I think you need to like seriously just move on and forget about both these people.

Like imagine, like, just never speak of them again.

Yeah, like maybe, I don't know, like a new city, new job.

No, it's time.

You don't have to move city.

It's time for a new man and a new friend.

Like, there's plenty of people out there who are looking for friends, are looking for relationships.

And also, if this man treated you the way that he did, like, why are we feeling RDH over the loss?

The loss of him and the loss of the right man.

Again, here, full circle, we're back to feeling pity for her.

This man who's like not capable of emotional intelligence is now dating this awful human being.

They sound like a match made in heaven.

Yeah, and now.

Don't be surprised if they get married.

Yeah, I do feel like they're going to get married.

I don't know why.

But I just had this premonition.

Because they're both evil.

So, yeah, you need to just

start anew.

New friends, like,

I don't know.

You okay?

I'm just like, you're so focused on that.

The fire alarm took everything out of me.

I can't explain it.

Okay, well, we have one more.

Okay, I'm gonna give it more.

It's long, it's really long.

Pay attention, please.

Hello, Claudia and Jackie.

How you darn?

Darn good.

Thank you.

I'm okay.

Thank you for all that you've done better, really.

Thank you for all that you ladies.

We just had a food.

And the laughs.

Additions to my vocabulary and stories I literally use every day.

Congrats on the tour and the babe.

Okay, to the point of this email.

Part of the reason I started following you guys is because I got engaged to my now fiancé during the pandemic last year, right around the time when I was introduced to Claudia on Say Yes to the Dress, and then I found the morning toast and have been a loyal toaster ever since.

Amazing.

Thank you, Say Yes to the Disney.

Listen to the backstory.

You love to hear.

We are now.

What?

Just smells like a barbecue.

He literally said it was false alarm.

What more do you want?

Unless it's some of the former toasters trying to trap us.

Okay.

Okay.

We are now in the thick of wedding planning, finally, trying to find a venue and guest list, catering, et cetera.

It's absolute insanity.

When we first got engaged, we wanted to do a big to-do, to-do, but my fiancé and I are both still in school.

We have big plans for the next two to five years that will require us to move.

And we have been saving like crazy our entire relationship for that, not a wedding.

When we talk about finances for the wedding, it's really stressful and neither of us really care about a big wedding.

We just feel really pressured to by our families to have a big one.

So recently my fiancé and I made our these people must be there list and it was about 50 people.

Then we made an extended list of everyone we would want to be there which was about 100 because most of the smaller intimate places we've seen have a hundred person cap.

While he was adding people to the list my fiancé said a girl's name that that has come up before as like a childhood family friend because their parents are besties,

but I wasn't even going to invite her parents.

So like that's weird.

When I asked about his aunt, one I particularly like and reminds me me of my late grandmother, he said no, because then we would have to invite the entire side of that family.

What?

This girl I've never met, I've been with my fiancé for five years, is getting an invite and a plus one on a very short list of guests that we have already stressed about paying for, but not her family, who I was under the impression was the only reason you actually knew her.

And your aunt who I actually like.

isn't there?

I feel absolutely crazy for feeling a little peeved by this.

After three years of living here and not meeting her, is it weird to want to meet her before she gets invited to my wedding?

Why haven't we met if she's this important?

he swears it's always been a platonic relationship and she's was there for him through a rough time in his teenage years but i'm so confused as far as i know they hardly talk but once a year a maybe important note is we are in school and super busy and apparently she is too not that i know since i've never met her and he says that's why we haven't met please help me i need your advice and wisdom love you lay whatever words you have on me i need your help sincerely an overwhelmed bride this is so suspicious it's definitely weird like why does this one random girl who you've never even met in the last five years get invited over his aunt Like, what?

Like, what?

Also, like, why is he, I think it speaks to the character of your fiancé.

Like, he has 100 people to invite and his aunt doesn't make the list.

Yeah, no, and you know what?

This is some thing.

Shady.

You need to trust your gut.

Your gut is not leading you astray.

Like, her name stuck out out of 150 for a reason.

There could be 100 people in a room.

But this is that girl for your husband.

Yeah, no, there's something weird, like, 100%.

And I feel like a woman's intuition is, like, I feel what you're saying.

Like, no, it's giving me, like, one that got away vibes.

And not that, like, he's in love with her or anything, but like, she's just like that girl for him.

That's like,

no, it's not giving me one that got away.

It's like giving me, like, there's this girl on TikTok.

I guess one that got away implies like that they're the right person for you.

Like, that you should have been with them.

I don't think he's like wanting to go back to her, but like, I just feel like, you know, this is someone who he feels like special towards, and you must make sure they never see each other again.

Okay, so there's this girl on TikTok who does like this like act.

She's like the chill girl at parties.

And so she does this thing where, like, she's this really annoying girl.

She's like, not like other girls.

She like drinks beers like everyone else.

And

this guy, Jason, comes with his new girlfriend and she like says the most annoying things to Jason.

Like, oh my God, like, do you remember like when we were in Germantown?

Like, the beer we drank?

Like, oh my God, like you weren't there.

Like, cause you like can't drink beer.

But like, she's so fucking annoying.

It's just a character, but like, you watch it, you get irate.

Because, like, if a girl ever acts like this, this is what I'm seeing for this guest.

Yeah, I just, you need to find a way to make sure she's not invited and then just keep your eye and your ears on on the situation, you know?

Yeah.

But this is a sign and trust your gut because you didn't get that internal red flag for nothing.

Yeah, no, I agree.

Like, shit's shit's a blessing.

Even if it means you have to have a 50-person wedding just so that she can't get invited as 151.

And I think the message here is elope.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, have you done like sufficient cyber stalking?

I'm assuming.

Right.

Don't drive yourself crazy because you're not going to be able to do this.

To meet her before the wedding, like, You can meet her online.

You can find out everything that you need to know about her.

I just think it's weird.

Like, if this person is, like, that important to your fiancé, you've been together for five years and you've never met her.

Like, they're obviously not important.

Or at least they're obviously hanging out without you.

No, they're so important.

And, like, that's just not, it's like you don't hang out with your ex around your

with your fiancé, but she's not an ex.

She's just, like, an old flame that never sparked.

Here's my advice.

Look into it.

Yeah, look into it, keep tabs on it, and keep your wedding to 25 people.

Yeah.

So she can't make it through the door.

10.

Okay, that was Teer Toasters.

Again, if you ever want to write in or update us with your ProBlame Us, it's Teer Toasters at gmail.com.

And that was our show.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast.

We gotta go because this place might be burning down.

Yep.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast and Monday morning show.

We're dealing with the Vaz Assorth.

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We'll see you tomorrow for Hump Day.

Bye.