S4 Ep175: Instagram Was Down But Our Spirits Were Not: Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Tuesday.

How's everyone doing?

I'm doing pretty good, considering this is a Tuesday for most of you, but for us, it's the last show of the week.

So it's pretty exciting to know that alarm-free living is coming our way.

You're going on vacation, but for me, I get to sleep in my own bed alarm-free, which is such a treat, you know?

Happy for you.

So also, today is like a beautiful fall day in New York, and I'm just, it's really not.

It's so stunning.

It's raining this morning.

It's stunning outside.

For sure, for sure.

It's stunning.

There's a chill in the air, you know, that's the kind that sweeps away all the bad smells.

By the way, like, okay, so we're on like,

what's the word?

Like opposite paths.

Like you're being so positive this morning.

Like, and that was me like two weeks ago.

I'm in the worst fucking mood today.

Like, I just got my period right before my trip, which is just so annoying.

Having the worst movie.

Okay, I'm Steve woke me up a million times in the middle of the night.

Okay, can I help you turn it around?

Sure.

So you got your period right before your trip, which is actually great because you drop that bloat really quickly.

It's better than getting your period in the middle of the trip and then the first few days you're bloated because

you're about to get your period.

Okay, sure.

Like, I don't really care about being a bit of a bad person.

I'm bloated.

I'm bloated consistently.

Like, I don't see the difference.

You really don't, like, feel a little bit lighter when your period drops.

You want to know a fun fact about me?

I've never been bloated.

Like, or I've never been not bloated.

I don't know.

People always say, I'm so bloated.

I'm like, oh, really?

I'm just fat.

Like, I don't know what bloated is.

I agree with that.

Like, I never say I'm so bloated.

Like, unless I literally ate like my body weight and salt, like, I can't imagine actually feeling like so bloated.

But I do always feel like a little before my period comes.

And then, once it comes, I do feel a drain.

No.

Do you feel that?

No, no.

I don't think it would make a difference.

That's one of the things.

Okay, okay.

So that one doesn't work for you.

So now having cramps now, see.

Can't just let me complain, please.

We're going to turn your frown upside down.

Turn it around, turn it around, turn it to the turn around.

Turn it around, turn it around,

turn it around, turn it around, turn it around, turn it around.

turn the beat around.

Love to hear percussion.

Yeah, turn it upside down.

You know, this made me feel better.

You know, I think the triangle counts as percussion.

Literally, of course.

Literally.

It's a percussion instrument.

Right?

So Theo woke you up throughout the night because he just wanted you to know that he was there because

he miss you.

He wanted to spend extra time.

Let me tell you.

I couldn't sleep and I'm like tossing, turning, tossing, turning.

Finally, I drift.

I'm like, there.

I'm like 87%, like, you know, about to just.

Yeah, where your thoughts stop making sense.

And then someone's standing on my back.

And it's fucking Theo.

And he wanted to get under the covers, which is sweet, but like, you could do it yourself.

So I let him in, and then I was up.

Then I was up.

Talked to Ben, watch him TikToks.

Like, it was just no going back.

And then I didn't go to bed till like two.

Oh, and then I woke up with my period.

Like, I feel as though I'm in time.

I've earned my bad mood.

Okay, fine, fine.

And then you had cramps, you said?

Of course.

Did you take Midol?

I take Advil.

Big mistake.

No, I know.

You, like, sung the praises of Midol for so long.

And then, like, earlier this year, I was like, all right, let me fuck with Midol.

And to be honest, I felt no difference.

No, I think Midol is so great.

It's so targeted, you know, to the cramped needs.

That's what you had said.

Plus, it has a little caffeine.

That's what you had said as well.

So, okay, but you know what?

Different strokes for different folks.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

Me too.

Things happen.

They do.

We've got a

menstruating queen and a pregnant queen.

This room is just radiating with different hormones.

Yes, quite different hormones.

But back to what I was saying, I think it's quite a good day, especially considering it's our last show of the week.

So we have so much love and energy to give into the show.

And like yesterday was the most chaotic day on the planet.

I know it was so chaotic.

We recorded the Redheads.

It was crazy.

No, Instagram was down, Facebook was down, WhatsApp was down.

Like, if you live in Israel, like, that's the only people I know who use WhatsApp.

And like, the morning toast didn't upload the video until much later in the day because I

had to edit something out that I had said.

It wasn't bad or anything.

It was just like too personal, if you know what I'm saying.

Yeah.

And the YouTube platform, like, if you want to take it up with YouTube, that's on them.

It took eight hours just to edit out one thing.

They can get their processing done faster.

So that was my fault.

Today I'm going to try and not say anything stupid, overshare.

I mean, I've already spoken about my period, so I don't know how much more I could share.

Right, right.

Today we're going to be on time.

Yesterday was crazy.

We'll talk about the outage.

It's obviously a story.

It was the biggest story of the day.

I want to know how it affected you.

I mean, I've never been so unbelievably bored in my whole fucking life.

Really?

But also, like, I did a bunch of things yesterday, like, I had put off doing.

I don't think I did it consciously.

Like, you know, Instagram sound, let me be productive.

But I, like, needed to do something with my hands.

And I have all these flights I've been needing to book.

I have so many weddings coming up all over the country.

I'm just like such a globe, Zuttering Trot Topper.

And I did a lot of things that I haven't done in a while so maybe that was good but like overall I was just bored to tears I understand and then like I did an Instagram story when we were back I'm like thank God I've been so bored and people are like that's so sad like normalize being obsessed with Instagram fuck off so I think being obsessed with Instagram has been normalized I think it's weird that people said that's so sad considering everybody was like posting stuff like that yesterday I just went I don't know what I did with my day yesterday, but I really didn't notice.

It's because I was like napping.

I was chilling with brew.

It was still down.

I was like not pressed about it and then around like five o'clock when i was like going to the redheads i was like oh that's crazy it's still it's down like it's been a down day i didn't really realize right it started being down the second we wrapped the toast like i had posted a story that i remember that i remember that never went through but then i got home i was chilling with brew it was down and then by the time i like a few hours later i realized it was still down i was like oh this is a big deal but it really didn't impede my day No, it didn't impede my day.

I was just fucking bored.

Actually, it did impede something because we we recorded the Redheads last night, but we weren't able to get questions from the readers.

So we don't have any Redhead questions, but we have lots of DBQs from the readers, the book club guide.

So it's a really great episode.

We recapped A Slow Fire Burning by Paula Hawkins.

It drops on Thursday, so that's just another day where you don't have to go podcast lists, even though we are OOO.

So just really quickly, one more thing I want to say about the Facebook and Instagram adage.

You'll have the time to talk about it as well.

Oh, it's a story.

It's a story.

Okay, so you know, I'll save my hot take.

Yeah, because we're going to talk about what happened there, what we know, what we don't know, which is probably everything,

and what it means for society.

For sure.

We also have deer toasters today.

Great.

Big day here.

And I've caught up on OnlyMurders.

I'm caught up except for yesterday's episode.

Oh, yesterday?

Yeah, they come out Tuesday.

Is today Tuesday?

Yeah.

Oh, it just came out today.

I have to say, like, this whole dropping weekly thing is so not conducive for my lifestyle.

I know.

Like, I thought that the show was over and and I got down to watch like so many episodes last night.

And it was like eight o'clock, and it was done because episodes are really short.

Yep.

And there was like only four.

Like, I thought it was, and it's just getting good.

Yeah, no, it's really good.

Yeah, it's really good.

So I'm obsessed.

And I do think, like, if you think one of them should win in Emmy, or like, you know, it's being acclaimed as like the best show this year.

So, of course, people are going to be nominated.

Okay.

Who do you, because like, honestly, Steve Martin and Martin Short are competing for the same category.

Who do you think out of the three of them should get nominated and who should win?

I think they'll all obviously get nominated because if it's the best show and they're the stars, then they made it the best show.

Who should win?

I don't

like him.

My least favorite, Martin Short.

100%.

He's giving it all to the show.

He was being so funny.

I can't believe you don't like him.

Like, he is, whoever wrote this character for Saul, it's so on point from a retired Broadway, like, failed producer.

His one-liners, I turned on

the

subtitles because I felt like I was missing some of his jokes.

He, that character is so funny.

I can't believe you don't like him.

I don't dislike him anymore.

I just, like, really didn't like how he was, like, being sneaky and he had mismanaged, like, his life, and then he was like trying to sell this podcast.

But now that everyone's above board, and spoiler, like between the three of them, there's really no secrets anymore.

I like him more.

I agree with that.

I just don't like when you're like hiding stuff and you're going to bring the rest of the group down with you.

I couldn't agree more.

But you know, there was one low point

in the show, and that was when we had to like see Selena Gomez's fake mom, like

inspire her like with her art.

Like it was so dark.

I'm like, this is like this show so far has been A plus 10 out of 10, elevated classic.

And this was giving me very much like the mom from Wizards of Waverly Place vibes.

Like I was really surprised.

Like that whole scene was like, I was watching a different show.

And then I went back to city and everything was back to normal.

I actually agree.

That was the first time where I was like, oh, Selena Gomez is this.

Yeah, right, right, right.

Like, this is the first time I was like, where's my phone?

You know, got to check what's going on.

It was so boring.

Yeah.

No, but the show itself is really good.

And the most recent episode that I watched was from the perspective of Theo.

By the way,

love to see it.

No, his name is Teddy.

His dad's Theo.

No, I think Teddy is short for Theo.

No, Teddy is the dad.

You know, but they're named after each other.

Teddy is the dad.

Theo's the son.

Okay, okay.

Yeah.

And he's deaf.

And so the whole episode was from his perspective.

So there wasn't very much sound.

Which was actually really cool it was really cool and well done scared watching it like the silence was freaking me out maybe because i was home alone and it was dark but like it wasn't a scary episode per se i was no i think i watched it like at dusk on the couch got it like the silence was giving me like creepy ass vibes interesting but i thought it was a very unique take to represent someone who's deaf yeah i could see that episode like being nominated to something

because i've not seen anything like that me neither and it was just it's such a good show like i was actually so devastated when I ran out of episodes, but I guess there's another one today.

And then did Theo feel seen because

he's Theo?

Because his namesake?

Yes, he did.

In the book that we just read, there's a character, Theo.

You know what?

The more I ruminate on it, the more I regret naming Theo Theo, because like my future son's name should be Theo.

It's a gorgeous fucking name.

I think you could still name your kid Theo because it's one thing to name a dog after a person.

That's a no.

But it's, I think it's nice to name a person after a dog.

I would actually argue that it's worse.

No, no, no, but think about little Craig.

Disgusting.

That's disgusting.

That's the worst.

Like, here's this dog.

I'm naming it after you.

No, I think, honestly, they're both pretty shitty.

No, I don't, I think that, like, upgrading the dog's name to a human, like, the dog, it's only good things for the dog.

Well, the good thing is I have my period, and I don't have to think about that right now.

I'm just saying, like, if you wanted to one day, you have my support.

You're open to it?

Yeah, it's Theo you have to talk to.

It's a gorgeous name.

No, it's gorgeous.

And think of the nicknames.

You get Theodore, you get Theo, and you get Teddy.

You know what?

I've had like this renaissance with my Kindle.

Like, I was on a six-month break, and I was just reading so many books.

And you know, if you're pregnant or like thinking about becoming pregnant or like adopting and you're thinking of child names, like read books.

Like, I found so many random fucking names, and I'm like, that's pretty.

I definitely do read like looking for names.

I haven't seen anything via book, but yeah.

No, also, when I'm watching watching um TV, like I'm always thinking, like, looking at everyone's names now, yeah, but like, honestly, I could go through a whole TV show and not know the main character's names.

Like, what the fuck is Martin Schwartz's name?

That's a really good question.

And in the book, like, their first name comes up so many times, like, you have to remember it.

That's a really good question.

Yeah.

I know his name is Brazos, but what's his real name?

Another really good, you're asking all the hard questions.

I know Mabel, because that's like an odd name.

No, and everyone's like, Mabel this, Mabel that.

Like, there's no other thing.

Remember, Mabel, Mabel.

Everything's about Mabel.

Yeah.

So what are the two main characters' names?

I don't know.

I don't know if we'll ever know.

We could look it up, but I'd rather not know.

And also, like, I went through watching all of Squid Games, not knowing one person's name because, like, you're not allowed to say your name in the Squid game.

But then, like, they shared it at the end.

But, like,

I couldn't remember.

That sounds kind of annoying.

Yeah, but

I just love Only Murders.

Like, I just, I can't really stress enough how I'm like obsessed with the show.

No, I might rewatch it after.

It's so good.

And I'm sure you'll pick up new things.

It's really, really good.

And of course, it pays respect to podcasts and the art of podcasting.

And I feel seen.

I don't know about you.

A hundred percent.

And I keep waiting for this one particular scene because they filmed right outside my building.

And I was like, what show is Selena Gomez doing with Martin Short?

I was so confused because honestly.

When you think about it, like without knowing what the show is, like, what the fuck?

Like, it's so random.

And I'm just waiting for them to be shooting outside my building.

Oh, that's pretty cool.

I haven't seen it yet.

It's pretty cool.

It's pretty cool.

You know, actually, I watched yesterday's episode and it was amazing, obviously.

No complaints.

Actually, just one.

Like, when we were doing our final story, like, you really cannot hear the triangle when we go like this.

Like, we need to be like this.

Oh, but when we do final story, are you able to hear your ad living at the end?

Obviously.

Okay, but I think that's the end.

They can hear my ad living at the end in China.

I think that's because...

My voice is too loud.

No, the triangle is further away.

I think it's good the way the triangle is.

All the triangle content I've seen has been really premium.

Okay.

Okay, do you think that without further ado, we should just jump right in?

Oh my gosh.

Head first.

I know that you don't know what that hand motion is referencing.

It's referencing a dive into the water.

To reference or not reference, but there's this woman on TikTok who's a former sex worker and she shares like the craziest fucking stories and she always uses this song.

Feels like I'm going insane, yeah.

It's a thief in the night to come and grab you.

And she does the same three hand motions, but she's telling different crazy like stories that happened to her.

And she always does that.

It'll creep up inside you and consume you.

So that's what you're doing.

I can't wait for TikTok to go down.

Never.

Never!

That's what we need.

Why is Jackie?

You're literally the star of my TikTok.

Follow me, at girl with no job.

It's true.

It's true.

Like, I literally do a TikTok in the studio every day now because the only ones that get likes are the ones with Jackie.

That's so sweet.

Why do you guys just comment that you hate me?

TikTokers are so sweet.

They're so sweet.

No, but I do think that like for society and for nature to start healing, we need a day of TikTok to go down just for everyone to see everything else they could be doing with their life.

Hard disagree.

And you know what?

Let's just leave it at that.

Okay, well, until we talk about the first story in the fast five stories, without further ado, here are the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Thank you, claudia it's a pleasure

okay first story biggest story facebook is back up after being down for many hours yesterday the outage likely cost the company over 60 million dollars in a major outage yesterday facebook along with its sibling sites whatsapp and instagram became unreachable for hours starting around noon eastern time about the time that the toast wrapped

reports are saying that it was directly correlated to the toast ending,

but we can neither confirm nor deny those reports.

Neither confirm nor deny.

And I guess Facebook's servers and systems are so incestuous that people who work in the Facebook offices couldn't even get into the buildings to fix shit because their key cards weren't working because the whole thing was down.

Okay, like

this is supposed to be like the most technologically advanced company in the world, not even in the country, like in the world.

And these people can't even get to their desks.

Like, I don't know.

Fishy.

Yeah, no, it was, it was definitely wild.

I don't know if we'll ever know.

I don't know like a conspiracy theorist.

I don't know if we'll ever know what happened, but something ain't right.

No, I don't want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but I have a few things I'd just like to point out as someone who's completely non-unbiased, third-party, with no particular interest in the matter.

Okay.

I don't know if you have no interest in the matter, considering like it difficulties.

You know what I mean?

So, first of all, I'm constantly hearing about like, you know, how Facebook is down, Instagram is down all the time.

I never hear that about Twitter or TikTok or Reddit or Pinterest.

So why is this company always having issues when they're also technically the most successful in the space?

Like they should have the most infrastructure so that things like this don't happen.

So it's like very common for Instagram to be down.

I literally go to Twitter.

I search.

Is Instagram down and everyone's commiserating on Twitter?

Like it happens a lot.

Why is that?

Nobody else has that problem.

I don't know.

Maybe they have too many users, but also I think, I don't know.

I'm not going to purport to know, but based on what I was seeing yesterday, it's like Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp all use the same server.

So, like, it's like dominoes when this shit happens.

Yeah.

I just don't understand why it does happen so frequently.

Like, of course, I'm an understanding consumer.

A bad day at the office.

Something goes down, whatever.

But this happens like all the time with Instagram.

Yeah, but to be real, would you know if Pinterest were down?

I definitely would.

I'm pinning all the time.

Okay, I'm just saying.

So maybe Pinterest goes down, maybe Reddit goes down, but like, like you don't know.

No, I really don't feel like they do.

And I feel like if they did, it would be at least like trending on Twitter.

People would be talking about it.

Like I've literally never seen that.

Yeah, well, I think a lot of times Instagram goes down, but then it comes back up in like 30 minutes.

Yeah.

So this was about at least six hours.

And it took all the other, well, I'm sorry, Facebook took all the other apps down with it.

So this was, I think, the largest scale one that we've seen.

Yes, I don't think I've ever experienced an Instagram downage that also took Facebook with it.

And from what I've seen, they're saying that like they accidentally accidentally lock themselves out.

Like someone just accidentally sent to the server like, we're out.

And it took everything.

And they had to go, they like locked the keys in the car and they didn't have a spare key.

That's what I saw.

But like anyone getting hacky vibes?

No, and also like you don't have a spare key?

Yeah.

Your Facebook.

I'm not.

It just like seems a little hacky-o to me.

Well, here's the thing that really bothered me about this whole situation.

It's kind of like the narrative I was seeing afterwards, like making fun of influencers.

Like, oh my God, like were you your all your influencers freaking out like that they couldn't like sell you lipstick okay like what if I came to your office and snapped your keyboard over my leg like that's your job you would be freaking out that you couldn't do your job to put fat food on the family for your fuck

food on the table for your fucking family food on the family for I would love that food on the table for your family like I just hate this like oh my god probably influencers like crying thinking they're gonna have to go get a real job like first of all influencing is a real job second of all like I don't know why you refuse to understand that like literally your job being Instagram is like not acceptable.

But, like, that would literally be like, okay, you're a dentist, and I walk into your dental practice and I remove all the teeth.

Yeah.

Is that funny to you, sir, doctor?

It was just really pissing me off.

Like, all these memes, like, making fun of, like, first, like, well, also, okay, I just.

Also, a lot of businesses, especially small businesses, rely on Facebook and Instagram for sales, advertising, promotion.

So, like, they all suffered yesterday.

And influencer or a creator is just a business on a platform.

So like you're really making fun of small businesses.

Right.

Look in the mirror.

Yeah, you're making fun of small businesses.

You don't support other women.

Or small businesses.

And women.

And male influencers, too.

Sure.

Yeah.

It felt very targeted towards women.

Like, no, it did, like, the content that I was seeing.

Like, oh my God, your favorite influence.

Like, it was just very, it was directed at women, I'm telling you.

Like, and I just don't like this narrative.

Yeah.

Because, like,

I guess I'm not like a full-time influencer, but I had the greatest day yesterday, so much peace.

Well, we are full-time influencers, but our business doesn't revolve around posting on social media, yeah.

No, we're not Instagram influencers, right?

Podcast influencers, we're just like, Yeah, but that's what happens when you're multi-platformed.

Call me when the podcast app goes down, even though I feel like it's always

down.

But see, this is actually now, I think, was probably a wake-up call for a lot of influencers who are very like one-platform-focused.

Like, if your entire business is built off of Facebook or just Instagram,

you got to be multi-platform.

You know, we were able to communicate with, not to rub it in, to communicate with our audiences on different platforms.

Podcasts, I was up on TikTok all day, even though my audience is not that big.

You got to have more than one platform because in case that goes down.

Oh, for me, like I wasn't able to communicate with anyone.

I would just have to wait till the next day's episode.

But like that worked for me.

Yeah, but you have like people had heard from us that day.

Yes.

Yeah, I agree.

I don't.

Yes, you could say like this should be a wake-up call for people to diversify their portfolios.

I don't think that's what it's going to be.

No, but like, if this had happened like five years ago, when like my whole business was just like Instagram, I wouldn't like freaking out.

Yeah.

Especially if you were supposed to run ads that day.

And then it makes it.

Or if you posted an ad right before the outage, it went down and then like you lost six hours worth of conversions.

No, and then it just makes you think like

people always say this and it's never going to happen, but like what if Instagram were to just like poof and disappear one day and your whole business is like, if Instagram were to disappear like five years ago for me, I would literally have to like go to grad school.

Like I would have to find another way of living.

And now,

if Instagram went down, like I would be bored, but my business would remain somewhat unaffected.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so that's the lesson I took away.

Yeah.

And then if TikTok went down, my soul would leave my body, but my business would be fine.

Okay.

That's good to hear.

I just really think they should do TikTok next because I did feel like nature was starting to heal yesterday.

So why don't you just call up the hackers and let them know?

I, you know, maybe they'll be making the rounds.

Maybe.

You know?

Okay, so whose picture did you get stuck on?

Elizabeth Stavetsky and wearing multiple bretts and carrying her child.

Mine was

Kate C.

Parker.

She has a new name.

Kate Estelle, Bobby Bones' wife.

She did this like really sweet.

I could literally recite the caption to you, word for word.

She did this sweet, you know, carousel of photos from her wedding talking about how like she was, she knew like how a man should treat her because of her dad.

And as she got, she's gotten older, she's really come to appreciate that like she had such an amazing father in her life.

Wow, what a rough caption to get stuck for you yesterday.

Literally, a 13th year anniversary of my father's death yesterday.

Go to Instagram and I'm terrorized by Caitlin's gorgeous photos of her and her happy, alive father.

Damn.

It was tough.

Definitely gave you something to think about.

And also, it probably made you more present in the day yesterday and like more present in your grief.

No, I was majorly in denial yesterday.

I didn't think about it.

Me too.

I just honestly like wasn't in the the mood.

It'll hit me.

I don't I don't feel like just because it's an anniversary of a death or someone's birthday, I have to be sad that day.

You can't because what if I'm not?

Schedule grief.

No, I'll get there.

Grief arrives on its own time.

I was just not in the mood yesterday.

I'm like, Instagram's down and now I have to cry.

Like I'll do it another time.

I'm going on a plane tomorrow.

Maybe I'll cry tomorrow.

Yeah, no, I feel that wholeheartedly.

I'm so glad you agree.

And so yeah, and then I didn't realize that the stories at the top of that were there were loaded.

Yeah, like you could scroll through stories, there just wasn't new ones.

I didn't realize that, I didn't even watch them.

I watched a few, and then I was like, This is boring.

Yeah, no, you had to just go cold turkey.

Yeah, it was crazy.

It was crazy.

I found that.

And I was also very busy yesterday.

Yeah, well, you made yourself useful.

Yeah, got it.

Because Instagram was down.

Isn't the snail color like so nutmeg?

No, it's pretty you.

It's so like bridal.

Yeah, this snail color is kind of you.

Love.

Yeah, dazzle dry.

You love dazzle dry.

I do.

This one I got

on Thursday.

Gorgeous.

And it's no chemicals.

It lasts longer and

dries really quickly.

Are you allowed to get manicures pregnant?

I haven't seen anything to the contrary, but like I said, no chemicals.

Yeah, I could just see like someone saying like the chemicals from the polish seeps into your nail buds, into your veins, and go straight to your heart.

Yeah, no, I could see, I'm sure someone does say that.

But this one's no chemicals.

So it's like.

Are you wearing deodorant while you're pregnant?

Big time.

Organic or regular?

Men's.

Totally.

Men's extra strength, extra aluminum.

There's just something

that a woman cannot do.

That never even occurred to me.

No one told me that I couldn't wear deodorant.

No, no, no, I don't think that's a thing, but I think a lot of people who are very organic are.

I'm not very organic.

I'm not.

And I'm doing, like, I feel like I'm actually forced a lot, more than maybe I even need to.

What are you foregoing?

I don't know.

Like,

even like Zofran, for example, like a lot of people take Zofan in pregnancy.

And I just feel like I'm pushing through, you know?

That's very brave of you.

I mean, I took adramamine for the car ride this weekend, and like, that felt like a lot to me.

Like, the toxicity of deed of adramamine.

So I really, I feel like,

hopefully, I'm doing you just do what feels right.

Yeah.

And the cavemen more nail polish.

The cavemen were doing everything.

No, but the thing is, like, the cavemen didn't use DRN.

I didn't get it because it didn't exist.

It didn't have parachute.

You know what I'm saying?

They used to smoke when they were pregnant.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, if you want to go back to like

20th century pregnancies.

pregnancies.

We're going to be fine.

You would hope.

But then people also live till like they were 30, so.

In the cavemen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyways, are you ready for our next story?

Sure.

Rob Kardashian is seen in a rare photo as he enjoys a night out with the family.

That just reminded me of something.

So the Kardashian clan united for dinner on Monday, and Rob made a rare appearance.

On Instagram, Kim shared a photo of her on a date with her favorite couples, including Courtney and Travis and Chloe and Rob, LOL.

Okay, you just reminded me of something okay we have one more picture to post in the feed should we take a selfie no okay I'll just post something post um

maybe something will come up okay okay but like we have to do it before I know I know I fucked up because yesterday Instagram was down so I didn't get to post till six then I posted at nine and then I was like tired yeah no I understand it's not your fault that Instagram was down but our feed's not gonna suffer because of it no and Instagram doesn't care that our like feed is ruined Instagram doesn't care about your feelings not at all nor your feed um what were we saying oh Rob he's looking so good and cute.

First of all, loved the Kravis moment on Kim's Instagram.

Like, that was just kind of crazy.

No, they got grid prominence.

They weren't buried in a photo dump.

They got grid prominence.

When, like, honestly, her brother and sister maybe should have been first.

No, when her Instagram is so curated that it's absolutely

like such an endorsement.

It's wild.

Maybe they got engaged together.

She like one time deleted all of her vacation photos because she wanted to put a different filter on them.

That's crazy.

And she's just out here posting Courtney and Travis.

Whose house is that?

Chris?

I don't know.

You think they just have like a big family dinner with their chef?

I feel like it's Chloe's house because she's the only one who would have things like that in the back.

What are those leaves?

Pampas, they're called like those white influencer leaves.

Yeah, right?

Kim would not.

Kim would never.

Well, okay, so.

But no, but Chloe just in a new house.

We're seeing Chloe have new homes.

Yeah.

So we wouldn't recognize them.

I don't think that this is Kim's house.

And it might be Courtney's.

It might be Courtney's.

And Courtney's been hosting a lot.

She had that poosh pool party thing.

Well, here's

so fabulous.

Courtney has a purse.

If you had dinner at your own home, would you bring a purse?

Yes.

Okay.

If I was going to my backyard, which was expansive, yeah.

You need chapstick.

I need chapstick?

Oh, in your purse.

Yeah, for sure.

You need a tampon.

I do need a tampon.

Thank you.

I'm trying to read through the comments.

Anyone's like, you know,

mentioning where they are.

No, no one would know.

Did she post any stories?

No.

Okay, well, I guess we'll never know.

Gorgeous story.

No, I'm sure we'll know one day.

You know what, actually, I feel like I can figure it out.

Do you remember we got those Ariel pics?

I hate the word Arial.

What are you trying to say?

Bird's Eye.

I know, no, like finish yourself.

Of Chloe and Chris's new homes.

Oh, here.

Oh, by the way,

this is totally it.

But you think it's totally finished with all these twinkle lights and everything?

That picture was so recent.

It It still looks like a construction.

A month ago.

That's true.

That's true.

And she has so much tchotchkis in the background.

But I do want to say, like, a lot of the finishes on this white home that TMZ captured do look like the outside.

That's just Kardashian style.

I'm just saying.

Well, it's not Kim style.

No, it's not Kim style.

It's possible.

Oh, wait.

You know whose house this looks like?

But she's just not in the pictures?

Kylie.

You know, she has like that.

Outdoor, indoor type of stuff.

No, she wouldn't do her backyard like this.

She doesn't have pompas like that.

You know what?

We need to put this to bed.

We need to move on.

It's not.

It's not the point.

I literally can't.

Okay, what's the point?

The point is that Rob is out and about.

Courtney, Travis, Chloe, like it's all in the family, and they're just living life.

I'm sure they were also filming for the show because they just started filming again.

And so you will find out one day.

And I saw a like

Kardashian fan page Instagram account putting up pictures of Chris and Kylie filming in a grocery store.

So that's just very exciting.

That is very exciting.

Kylie.

Oh, wow.

Maybe they can finally afford her, you know?

Right.

No, I think that like, as much as Kylie didn't need the money, she also wasn't obsessed with the idea of doing the show.

But now that it's like a clean slate, they probably have way more money.

Kylie's like something that'll actually get Kylie out of bed.

And like she can get involved in the creative process from day one.

Like she was just a child with the Kardashian stuff.

So what do you think the show is going to be called?

It could just be the Kardashians.

They don't really need any bells and whistles.

keeping up was always like a a long unnecessary name oh i couldn't disagree more i thought it was like perfectly branded like no but they made it in their crazy but k-u-w-t-k yeah people just called it keeping up which is so cute i thought it was a great name no one ever had any fine name but it wasn't like it

It wasn't like it made the most sense.

Nothing will ever make sense like that again.

Oh, no, no.

I'm not saying that.

It was a little long.

No, no, I'm not saying that.

I just thought it was like a great name, and I never really like blinked at it.

I'm like, yeah, that's Keeping Up.

Like, the Kardashians?

No, I think whatever they do next will show you that that name was like it'll probably just be called like a mouthful.

That name was in a mouthful.

I thought it was great.

I totally disagree.

I'm not,

I'm not going to slander the good keeping up with the Kardashians names.

I don't think I slandered it.

I think I just said the truth, which is that it's a mouthful.

Just because,

does it being slandered make it not true?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Got it.

Okay.

Well, I'm very, very much looking forward to this new show.

And Hulu's just out here turning on premium content.

Like, we must put respect on Hulu's name.

Yes.

Except for Nine Perfect Strangers.

Thank you.

Are you ready for our next story?

Some exciting news that I should have shared yesterday, but I totally forgot.

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Okay, next story: the Super Bowl 2022 halftime show was announced.

Like very quietly.

Very quietly.

It literally slipped through the cracks yesterday, but we need to talk about it because I don't know.

No, no, no, not even yesterday.

I heard about it on Friday.

No, but for yesterday's show, we didn't do a show Friday.

I always am so interested in like the acts and selected and the selection process, so I just find it fascinating.

2022, we will have a show by Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Dr.

Dre, Mary J.

Blige, Kendrick Lamar.

Period.

Period.

Okay, so it's a medley of sorts.

It's a medley, and I just,

I'm anti-medley.

I'm sorry.

You are?

My idea of a great Super Bowl halftime show is one iconic artist.

If they choose to surprise us with a guess or two, that's fine.

But like, I miss the days of like, this is the biggest artist of the year.

Like, this is their moment.

I just have to.

Last year, you said that, like, Pink was the next

one.

I always think she could be the next one.

I always think Pitbull could be the next one.

And I feel like any of these people on their own could maybe have been the next one.

I just feel like it's now turning into a music festival.

And I like when it was just like the one, it's the biggest, it becomes the biggest deal for that performance.

It's a huge honor.

I mean, Five Lady Gaga, Five Foot Two.

Right.

Like, it's such an honor.

Your music just like...

sells like hot cakes after and it's such a mark of success it's like a legends category and the for the past few years I mean last year was just the weekend and so that is um that was good that gives me what I was looking for this the performance didn't but the performer the choice the choice did but I do feel like in the past few years it's been like this medley and I'm anti-medley you know what I do agree with you like because it is this like one prestigious honor and it's like fun to see who's gonna get it every year and see how they do um I completely agree with you I'm not like the biggest medley fan I'm so glad that we can agree.

And I'm sure it will be great because all of these people are legends, but like they could do the show on their own.

Eminem could do the halftime show on his own Kendrick Lamar could yeah Snoop Dogg I'm very much looking forward to and if Mary J.

Blade doesn't sing doubt which has become one of my favorite it's such a good song but I feel like it's so

it's not you know yeah it's like not high on her hits list yeah but if you're ever feeling like low on yourself

listen to that episode of Toast Radio where oh did we put it in yeah we did oh I think it was the theme for the toast radio justice for toast radio was like motivational song it was motivational because it was like a January episode so it's like these are the songs that are gonna get you to like accomplish your goals this month okay and doubt is that song like she is the moment it's so gorgeous like whenever i listen to it i just i like want to go for a jog or something like that's what that's the point it's gorgeous check it out doubt by mary j blige and i'm sure she won't sing it because if it's a medley she probably gets like two songs and i don't think that's like her top two but um

so yeah that's why i'm just i feel like whenever i hear the selection whether it's a medley or an individual like i talk shit i'll say the performance if i like the performance then I'll think it was a good selection.

I don't know.

I like to talk about the selection and then the performance.

Yeah, because I thought the weekend was a great selection, and then I thought his performance was like very low energy.

Right.

So it's two totally different conversations.

And then, like, when J-Lo got it, I was like pissed that Shakira got it too.

And then I saw it.

I'm like, you know what?

This is actually pretty fire.

Agreed.

And if you had, at the time, I would have said, I don't want a 50-50 show.

I think that's unfair to like both

icons, but they did a great job.

Yeah.

I feel like J-Lo could have done the whole thing.

So could have Shakira.

Right.

So it's just like, it ain't right.

It ain't right.

But I'll see how this turns out.

And then you'll get my final verdict.

But for now, I'm very much like,

why so many artists?

Yeah,

that's where I'm at, too.

Also, like, the

performance was announced with Pepsi and Jay-Z's Rock Nation because he's like been in charge of like NFL entertainment for

like two, no, not for a while, for like two years, because the NFL was having a lot of problems like getting black artists to agree to do the Super Bowl because they were having a lot of issues.

And so I think that the Jay-Z partnership was meant to be like a peace offering to, you know, work together.

And I guess it's working.

Yeah.

No, they're definitely getting some interest now.

And the Super Bowl is going to be in Englewood, California at the SoFi Stadium.

Oh, that's pretty cool.

Yeah.

So.

If you wanted to go, who do you think will be in the Super Bowl?

Let's place our best.

Oh, that's a good idea.

And then we could, okay.

So can I look up the teams right now?

I don't know like all their names.

And you have to be from different categories.

Oh, that's tough for me.

Yeah, all NFL teams.

I don't know that I'll be able to do different categories.

AFC, NFC.

Yeah, those are them.

Okay.

So many good ones.

I think it's going to be the Seahawks

and the Buccaneers.

Is that a possibility?

Oh, right.

The Buccaneers.

Okay, I'm going to say.

It's going to be the Buccaneers.

Ooh, you know, I kind of have like a good call.

Oh, here.

East, west, north, and south.

Okay, I think it's going to be the Buccaneers versus

the

Buffalo Bills.

Is that possible?

They're both East.

Just based on the

country layout.

He doesn't know.

Okay, then I take it back.

I'll do the

what is it called?

Buccaneers.

Buccaneers.

Maybe do like the Rams.

Nah.

Okay, here's the thing.

I'm looking at this list of NFL teams, and I don't even see the Buccaneers.

Like, what am I doing wrong?

Are you looking at cities or names?

Oh, would it say Tampa?

Yeah.

No, it's names and the Buccaneers.

So, okay, so you're just trying to say they're not in the NFL?

Literally, look, I'm just saying.

Is that what you're saying?

Let me check this again.

Buccaneers.

Found them.

They're in the south, and the Bills are in the East.

I feel like that would be allowed.

No, but it's East versus, like, I don't fucking know.

I'm not even going to pretend to know.

I just know those are both East Coast cities.

So, don't they have to play someone from the West Coast?

No, I hear what you're saying loud and clear.

So, what's your, what's your theory?

The Bills and the Buccaneers?

Yeah.

Okay.

I think they're going to make an exception to the rule.

That's what I think.

Okay, cool.

We'll see you in February 2022 for the Bills versus the Buccaneers.

I think it's going to be Jets versus Browns.

For sure.

I think it's actually going to be Jets vs.

Giants.

Subway Series.

Yeah.

I don't think that could happen.

No, definitely not.

That's why I said it.

It's a joke.

Yeah, but it should be able to.

We're like

so athletic.

Like, look at your sweater.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Go New York.

What does it say?

NY?

NY.

It's a cool sweater.

Thank you.

It's from Joshua Sanders, the brand I wear every day.

Oh, my God.

I've got a place in order.

Yeah, you do.

Said, go, New York, go, New York, go.

Go, New York, go, new york gotta get to a sporting event go who's stopping you your husband goes all the time just asking to be invited but then he says like want to go and i'm like no it's like a tuesday i've had a long day no and it's like excruciating no and then like what i have to do my hair like it's a whole thing no those are that's in a process yeah Okay, next story, a little content news.

House of the Dragon teaser shows the first footage of the new Game of Thrones prequel series that is set 200 years before Game of Thrones.

House of the Dragon is based on George R.R.

Martin's Fire and Blood and is set 200 years before the events of Game of Thrones.

As part of the HBO Max Europe launch event, HBO Max dropped the first teaser for the series.

It's set to premiere next year and it's all about House Targaryen, they're in power during the haunting teaser, which offers the first official footage from the show.

So 200 years before, we're not going to know literally anyone.

No, but you'll know last names.

Yeah.

For example, we have Targaryen, we have a High Tower.

Mm-hmm.

Is that who's High Tower?

I don't fucking know.

We know them.

Another Targaryen, another High Tower.

Valerian, that sounds like someone.

Miseria.

I just can't get excited about things that are happening in another year.

I know.

But you know how much is going to happen to me?

I know, but it's good to have things to look forward to.

But then, but then it's like, okay, I get excited.

for something in a year.

And then when it comes out, I don't even watch it.

Jackie, I couldn't agree more to you.

Jarvin Hansen.

I'm like, Ben Platt's special.

I was just going to say, did you ever watch Ben Platt's Netflix special?

nope nope nope you're really missing out it's so premium it's too emotional that's true it's too emotional i just can't go there i feel that you know you can't access that portal of your heart right now i just can't like it's just how do you then close it it's

i'm good i'm good on where i'm at i feel that um also like i keep seeing this promo for this new show on peacock uh the lost symbol which is based on the book by dan brown who wrote da vinci code every single time i walk past it i'm like i'm gonna watch it.

And I literally never remember.

No, that's why people have to stop announcing things so far in advance.

Like, if I can't have it in the next three months, I really don't want to know about it until then.

No, I'm sure even when like the new Legally Blonde movie comes out, like I'm not going to even see it because.

Well, that's also just like us being real with ourselves.

Like one new Legally Blonde movie is going to be terrible.

Yeah.

But we love it.

Like, but it will be bad.

It will not even come close to the level of levels of iconicism that the first two came into.

It's just really crazy that like, with all the money, talent, effort in the world, like, there's just no possible way it could be good.

Yeah, and I think it's more of a psychological thing.

Like, it's not that they could have hired a better writer and gotten a better script.

It's been decaying, it's going to be amazing.

It's just impossible.

Yeah, no, it's true.

It's science.

We don't make up the roles.

Speaking of content, are you ready for our fifth and final story?

The final story.

Not my best work, but no, I liked it.

I liked it.

Oh, sorry, no.

Is it the fifth and final story that's brought to you by ShipStation?

Holy shit, that would have been.

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Okay, our fifth and final story is some industry news, big news.

The International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees has voted to go on strike.

Have you been seeing this?

No.

The IATSC members voted to authorize a strike with over 98% support, signaling overwhelming support for its union battles with studios over two expiring contracts as widely IATSC members have voted to authorize an industry-wide

strike.

This marks the first authorization of a nation-wide strike in the union's history.

So, for the past few weeks, I've been seeing like stuff on social media about

Broadway actors?

No, these are everyone behind the scenes in Hollywood.

So, it's

lighting.

We're always talking about lighting, crews, makeup, cost.

I follow some costume designers.

Okay.

So, they've been talking, the vote just took place and they authorized a strike with 98% of eligible members voting voting to strike.

So this is going to affect all content production.

What are they striking for?

What do they want?

They want better working conditions, better hours.

They want weekends.

They want meal breaks.

They want better.

Meal breaks.

You don't get meal breaks?

No, that's like, that's what they're asking for because they don't get those things right now.

And the conditions, these are not conditions they can work under anymore, they are saying.

So this is going to bring things to a halt in Hollywood.

And this is the largest strike of its kind, but it does remind me: do you remember when we

had the writer's strike?

Of course.

And when every show that we loved was just no longer on because of the writer's strike.

Desperate Housewives, yeah.

I feel like gossip girl.

So that was a crazy time.

I think this is going to have like similar effects at minimum.

That's so crazy.

I do remember the writer's strike.

That was like a pivotal time in my life.

Like, and I needed the television and it wasn't there for me.

Yeah.

So, yeah, this includes crew members internationally, including cinematographers, operators, grips, editors, costumers, and writer's assistants, among others.

So when you go on strike, who are you striking against?

Like the studios?

The man, yeah.

Like the, like,

yeah, the head honchos.

Like, the Harvey Weinstein types.

Well.

Former Harvey Weinstein types.

The studio heads,

I would imagine.

That's crazy.

Gotta love an organized strike, you know?

Gotta go on strike.

Never been on one.

What are you gonna strike for?

World peace.

Okay, good luck.

You You know, I remember watching Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen when I was a kid, and she went on hunger strike, even though she was like secretly ordering pizza and hiding it under her bed.

That's so you.

And I was like, I want to go on a hunger strike, but then I was like, too hungry.

Yeah, I don't think that's going to be your protest method of choice.

No, but I think I could go on like a...

A vow of silence.

Fuck no.

I could go on a

showering strike.

No.

Yeah.

No.

You will smell me and then you will listen to what I have to say and meet my demands.

Nope.

It has to be something that affects you.

But like, you don't care if you don't shower.

That doesn't make it a powerful strike.

No, I would care.

I would care after a few days.

Technically, nobody else cares.

Like, we could all just be away from you.

Really?

Try.

I'll follow you.

We could all be away from you.

We could lock you out.

Okay, fine.

I'll do it.

So you would backfire.

But why do I have to suffer in a strike?

You just do.

I don't think that's right.

I think that you do.

Then why would anyone go on a hunger strike?

That I don't understand.

But when Lola did it in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, it was because her her mother was obviously worried she would starve to death.

Yeah.

She was like hurting her mother.

So people have to be like concerned.

Like people have to care for you.

No, I don't think so.

Because let's say this union, like

the people making movies, they don't really care about the well-being of the people.

No, but if none of these people will work, they can't make their movies.

I bet you the people making movies will go find other people to do the jobs.

I don't know.

Under their shitty conditions.

That's so Hollywood.

Potentially they could, but it's like 150,000 people.

Well,

times are tough.

People are going to be accepting jobs that they might not normally accept under conditions they might not normally accept.

But there's a labor shortage

throughout the country, so I don't need

to.

If they could get people to work, I just know Hollywood's like not going to help the little people, you know?

No, but they'll have to reach some sort of agreement if they want the show to go on.

Well, I hope that everyone gets what they ask for.

Yeah.

Okay, well, that was the past five stories.

I feel as though you kind of needed to know them.

No,

they were varied, and I feel as though you needed to know them.

I do.

also you're gonna want to know why your show isn't on right right when there's no new episode of Riverdale yeah so we have deer toasters and I have a major exciting announcement about our third deer toasters which I'll get to we have an update from the girl who found adult diapers in her husband's closet do you remember I do but you know it really is crazy how I have such a strong memory yet some of these these deer toasters evade me and I saw last week there's like a conspiracy going on in the toasters that we're recycling that we are recycling deer toasters submissions And maybe, like, some of them are similar.

But I feel like if anybody would feel like these are feeling so familiar, it'd be us.

No, first of all, I don't even feel like they're familiar.

We're not recycling.

I just think after doing this episode that we did on Patreon last week, we've all married the same man.

So we're bound to have some of the same problems.

You know, but it was like a bridesmaids thing.

Like they swore that we already did that.

But like, I feel like we would know.

First of all, we're not intentionally recycling.

No, we're not recycling.

We get so many submissions.

No, I know.

So like, it's a conspiracy.

Against us.

And I just want to say, like,

I, so we're, we're not nefariously doing it if it were being done.

If it were being done accidentally somehow, I think we would realize.

But it's important to know there's absolutely nothing nefarious going on.

No, there's nothing nefarious going on.

But if you want to go through every episode and try and prove your point that we've read verbatim the same dear toasters twice.

Oh, yeah.

I'll listen to facts.

Yeah, I'll listen to facts.

Okay.

So are you ready?

Yeah.

Dear toasters, first off, congratulations to Jackie O on the bet.

You will be an amazing mom to this little boy, and him and all of your future children are so blessed to have you as a mom.

Oh my, that's so sweet.

Claudia, I love you.

And good luck on any upcoming projects.

Good luck with your period.

No, good luck on your upcoming projects and tour.

You'll do so amazing.

You are such an inspiration.

Oh my, I fucking love this girl.

Here it goes.

My fellow big-breasted women, help.

I need a breastlift and a reduction.

At 21 years old, my saggy boobs are something that truly make me want to to cry every time I look in the mirror at them.

Otherwise, I believe I'm a pretty confident person.

Like I said, I'm only 21 and these huge things grew on my chest when I was literally 10 and 10 years old.

So due to that and probably genetics,

my nipples face the floor.

Sorry, I'm not laughing.

I have saggy boobs too, so like I can laugh.

No, but like my nipples do.

You know, you know, like I'm not laughing at you.

I'm laughing with you.

I really am.

Okay, I went so eagerly to one plastic surgeon consultation where they did the whole bit of examining examining me and answering questions and agreed that I'm a good candidate for the procedure.

However, my last question I asked truly broke my heart.

Breastfeeding.

When you get a breastlift, you are no longer able to breastfeed.

This is so sad to me because I know how important the health benefits of breastfeeding are and how bonding it is to mom and bepe.

I'm a newborn care specialist and I work closely with moms and babies and I see the benefits of breastfeeding every day.

As soon as the surgeon told me this, I went from willing to book the surgery for this coming December to becoming firm on waiting 15 years until I'm done having kids.

This appointment was in June and now I'm back on the train saying, screw my future kids' immunity and brain development.

I need new titties.

This girl's funny.

I'm pretty sure I've heard Jackie mention before how she would get some work done to her titties after kids.

And I just know as women with large boobs, you probably know all the struggles.

Yes.

Do I get the surgery and stop being scared to take my shirt off in front of not only guys, but also just my girlfriends when we're all getting changed?

And aside from my other people's opinions, do I get the surgery so I can look myself in the mirror and not want to cry?

Or do I set vanity aside and have what's in the best interest of my future kids?

Breastfeeding can also be a journey.

So what if I don't get the surgery, there's other complications and I don't even end up being able to breastfeed the kids that I do have?

What if due to my saggy titties?

These girls, hilarious.

Wait, what if,

what if, due to my saggy titties, I can't even find a man that thinks I'm attractive enough to have kids with me.

Help a sister out, please.

And any toasters that have had similar worries, please feel free to start a conversation in the Toast After Dark group to help me make a decision.

With love, a toaster whose next entry is going to be asking for ideas on how to make enough money to afford the surgery, lol.

Okay.

This is so relatable, by the way.

I think about this all the time.

So fucking relatable.

And I think about this all the time.

I never

before I'm where I'm at now.

Like I never called and made an appointment or anything.

It was always just something that I knew that like, yes, of course, I would like to have my big fake titties right now, but like I have to wait until after I have kids.

Same.

I made the piece that like I will not be able to get my titties lifted and shrunk until the children are born.

So like I've made peace with that a long time ago.

I made peace with it a long time ago too.

And it definitely hinders things in your your life like i can't wear kylie swim i can't do a jumping jack for a multitude of reasons the breasts

you can get a good sports bra no yes jackie i'm telling you i cannot do a jumping jack you want me to do one for you right now show you because of your breasts yeah they knock me right in the face get up let's see really i'm gonna do a full like well you're not wearing a sports bra

Well, even with a sports bra, I'm saying.

Okay, well, she didn't mention anything about jumping jacks.

Okay.

She said that, you know, like for

aesthetics.

Sure.

No, but I think there are certain things, but like you get a good bra, check out Dominique.

Go down to Orchard Street, by the way, if you like.

Or Soma.

No, next time you're in, no, no, no, no.

Next time you're in New York, you go to Orchard Street Corset, Google it.

Yeah.

You go there, you go into the back room.

The woman takes a look at your breasts and gives you the perfect bra for you.

That should help you in the clothes department.

Yeah.

Okay.

So that's just a fun trick of the trade for the big-breasted women.

And so you're feeling insecure about like taking your top off route and your girlfriends.

Yeah, that doesn't happen for me.

Yeah, no.

Also, I feel like

as much as your insecurities are valid, I'm not like trying to doubt.

I just feel like maybe you're 21, so like you're still a little young.

Like, I stopped changing in front of my friends a while ago.

Like, yeah, and when I was in high school, I was like, I'm a friend who turns around.

Like, and I'm sorry, maybe my friends talk about me behind my back, but I don't fucking care.

Well, I just want to say I was never that girl.

Like, no matter how big or small I was, like, I was always comfortable.

But now it's just like we're a little too grown for that.

Like, it's not even about insecurity.

It's about like, I have a husband.

Like, what am I doing?

Yeah, I feel that.

And so, then the other thing that you had said was, like, you're worried about someone loving you with your boobs.

But, like, I feel like for a man, a big titty is a big titty.

And you know what?

I actually think you have a better chance of catching a man with your big titty than with like post,

like, if you want to, like, because the boob that I would get would is furrow.

It's a fashion boob.

It's a fashion boob.

It is not a man's boob.

Yeah, by the way, so, like, we see women see like saggy nipples.

Boys, they're like boobs like they literally do not care about like the way the the way in which they fall like they just are excited to be in the presence of breath so i wouldn't worry about that hindering your dating life at all but like it does feel like there's like a deep insecurity inside of you that like you think that the surgery would fix and i like totally hear that as someone who's had many procedures done like i don't know i just feel like if you want to get the surgery like Kids are born on formula and they're totally fine.

Yeah, I agree with you.

You can do both.

I don't think it's life life or death.

There are plenty of people who went on to be concert pianists who drank formula.

I agree, and that's what I was going to say next.

Like on the flip side, you know, plenty of people don't breastfeed who even haven't had to make this choice or don't breastfeed for very long.

And what if, you know,

it doesn't work out regardless.

So it's a lot of pressure to put on yourself.

About 21, like, I think you could just get the surgery.

I don't know.

I think you could just get the surgery.

I just personally, like, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, and I do.

Same, and I'm going to wait till after.

Yeah.

And she's also, like, a prenatal specialist.

Like, that's what she does for work.

So she knows really a lot about the benefits of breastfeeding.

But I don't know.

You also just, like, got to live your life.

Yeah.

And I mean, how nice would it have been to been like 21 wearing Kylie Swim?

And like, having perky little breasts.

Oh, triangle bathing suit?

Sure.

Yeah.

Oh, bathing suit from Target?

Sure.

Yeah.

Borrow my friend's bathing suit?

Sure.

Yeah, no.

Like,

I don't know.

I kind of like love that experience for you.

I don't know.

I'm really, I will support you either way.

I know that's not a helpful.

I know it.

I will support you either way as well.

It's not helpful, but...

You also don't need to decide right now.

Yeah, that's true.

Like, you could do it in a year.

Yeah.

Totally.

Maybe try Orchard Street first.

Okay, we have two more.

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Okay,

next up.

Hey, hey, Jack and Claude.

A fellow New York City toaster here, there has been absolutely breaking news in my life that I'm in dire need of advice on.

On behalf of my best friend, Nicole, since middle school, my best friend, let's call her Nicole, for confidentiality's sake, has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for six plus years.

They met in college while he was a senior and she was a freshman.

She got the impression at first that he was a playboy, but has never had any suspicions or doubts.

Until this past weekend when she received a DM on Instagram from a burner account telling her that her boyfriend has been cheating on her.

Nicole immediately freaked out and told me and then confronted her boyfriend.

He initially denied, denied, denied the entire thing until the guild must have eaten him alive and he admitted it all.

To make matters even worse, they are about to move in together for the first time this weekend as they have been doing long distance for years as he lives four hours away.

Nicole is absolutely distraught and doesn't know what to do because they already signed the lease and have some things moved in.

She has only told me as her true bestie, but she hasn't told any of her college friends or even her mom and sister as they would immediately banish him from the family.

I really loved Nicole's boyfriend, so I am enraged and very upset to hear this news.

I can only offer her so much advice, but obviously this is a very dicey situation as timing makes everything worse.

Would love to hear your fabulous advice.

Sincerely, a sad toaster who is dying on the inside for her best friend.

Ugh, you know, apartments make things like so complicated, but they're not moved in yet.

Also, like, I know that cheating is cheating, but like, did he drunkenly make out with a girl at the bar?

Is he carrying on a years-long affair?

Yeah, we do need more information on what the actual incident was because it does make a difference.

Cheating is cheating, but like, I do believe, like.

No,

I'm sure it's bad because like someone had to make a burner account.

Like someone felt compelled to tell her and he lied for so long.

And it's not like he did something bad.

He felt guilty.

He came to her.

So it's not good.

They should definitely, even if they want to work things out, they should not move in together while they work it out.

He can move into the apartment and pay the rent

and as you know, penance for what he did.

And she can, you know, stay with you or stay in her old apartment, whatever.

But if she moves in with him right now, like, of course, that will mean that they will stay together.

He will have learned nothing,

paid no consequences, and it will happen again.

Honestly, that was fire advice.

Like, I don't think I would have come up with anything better.

Like, he has to take on the burden of of the apartment and the financial burden.

Like, he's the one who ruined this relationship because otherwise, everything would be fine and you guys would be living in your fabulous apartment, splitting the rent.

But no, he had to go and be an asshole.

So, that, and also, the thing with cheating,

obviously, cheating is terrible, but I feel as though if I were ever cheated on, the cheating would bother me.

But what would bother me maybe even more is like the lying straight to my face, the sneaking around and like being capable of having like two lives.

Like, that would bother me, scare me even more, like the fact of like him having sex with someone else so like there's a lot to work through and it's not going to get worked through right now and i don't think working through it while living in a new apartment together is the best way to do it because you're just digging yourself in deeper and making it harder to leave if that's what you really end up needing to do yeah don't let her move in with him let her stay with you and this is his problem he's he shit the bed and he has to clean it up and pay the rent yeah that's just my opinion agreed okay Finally, the one we've all been waiting for.

Update from the girl who found adult diapers in her husband's closet.

Good morning, Jackie and Claudia.

Thank you for eating my email almost a year ago.

Yes, I loved eating it.

I wanted to provide you all with an update.

So much has happened to me in the last year.

After finding boxes of adult diapers hidden in our home, I confronted my husband about it and I was shocked and heartbroken when he explained to me that he has been hiding this part of his life with me for years.

I wonder what our advice was.

Well, I think maybe we thought it was like kinky.

Like, oh.

He has been wearing diapers since he was a child and into his adult life.

He is currently 32 years old, truly heartbroken and devastated.

I have since left my husband.

I tried to understand where he was coming from and be there to support him, but I couldn't get over the fact that he lied to me for so many years.

So he's just, um,

like.

I'm not sure.

Like, she just said he's been wearing diapers since he was a child and into his adult life.

He's currently 32 years old.

So I guess he just never stopped wearing diapers.

She just wait.

I tried to understand where he was coming from and be there to support him, but I couldn't get over the fact that he lied to me for so many years.

As crazy as it sounds, it wasn't even the diapers as much as him lying to me for so long.

That's what I just said.

It's never the crime.

It's always the cover-up.

Yeah, and like you can say like he's not potty trained and for some reason.

Sorry.

I don't think you call it potty trained when the person's an adult, but yes.

Okay, but no, but whatever it is, like he can't.

Control his bladder.

That could be like a, I've not heard of that, but that could be like a health thing, for sure.

Like you love someone through that.

Of course.

That's not something like, I'm sorry, that's not a deal breaker.

No, the lying sneaking around makes you just...

What else are they capable of?

100%.

And like that there's this big wedge between you.

It's like, did I ever really know you?

If this is literally something that you do every single day and you didn't feel like you could share it with me.

So wait, there's more.

Since separating, life has honestly been so great.

My ex and I decided to remain friends and I'm there for support if he ever needs someone to talk to.

He has also since come out as gay, which is something he has been burying his entire life and he is so much happier being his true self.

That's fabulous.

I'm so happy for him.

As for me, oh my God, I have chills.

I actually ended up,

sorry, wait, I lost my spot.

As for me, I actually ended up falling in love with my best friend.

I confided in him during the situation and he has been so helpful in my healing.

We've been so close since high school and the only man I've ever fully been my true self with and knows everything about me.

It's the healthiest, happiest relationship I've ever been in.

We just got a house together and a puppy and I got a new job.

It's crazy to think about how much life has changed in one year.

And I want to thank you so much for giving me the courage to confront my ex about his diapers because I don't know that I ever would have.

And we both would be living a lie for who knows how long.

Thanks, girlies.

Love you so much.

Oh my god, there's so much to unpack here.

He came out as gay.

She fell in love with her best friend.

She got a house, a dog, a man, a job.

Oh, my God.

We're literally changing lives.

That is so beautiful.

And you know,

with the diapers thing, it's like,

I still don't understand why he, like, if it was a health issue or he was like,

I don't know.

But,

and this is kind of what we were saying before, like, it's never just the one thing, like, there's always more underneath.

It's a smoking gun.

Yeah.

So, I think, and that's what we always say here when it comes to relationships, like, really talking about it can never steer you wrong.

I know, but it's so funny.

It's so awful.

Like, I don't take that advice.

I bury everything unless it's like my philosophy is I bury it.

And then, if I'm having, if I'm not having success burying it, then I bring it it up.

But sometimes I can bury something, and I will literally forget about it.

It's not like it bottles up infesters inside me.

Like someone will remind me, remember that, and I'm like, oh, shit, yeah.

No, I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put them.

Oh, that was toxic behavior.

So toxic.

That's really bad.

Like, no, I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put them.

No, sometimes I like genuinely forget that I was upset about that thing.

And that's good.

That means it didn't require conversation.

But that means you're healing.

Yeah.

Nature is healing, but then sometimes it's like

eating me up.

And then it's conversation time That's nice and healthy But that works for me Everybody's different.

No to be honest like I'm very much I do take my own advice in this particular situation There's nothing that goes on in my relationship that bothers me that I do not verbalize like I'm almost a little too communicative.

I'm a I'm a pick your battle sort of girl.

No, I just don't like conflict.

So it's it has to really really be eating at me for me to want to engage in confrontation.

No, I'm a pleasure to be married to.

I always have something to say.

That's funny.

Yeah.

Well, that is very exciting.

That is really exciting.

I'm really happy.

I was not expecting all of that.

No, me neither.

See, this is why we love updates.

No matter how long ago we read your prompt, this has been a year, and she had so much to update us on.

So, if we've read your prompt recently, email us deartoasters at gmail.com with an update.

We would love to hear from you.

And if you just have a problem you want our help with, deartoasters at gmail.com, that is the email.

That is our show.

That is the final show of the week, you guys.

I'm headed out.

We're back on Monday and Tuesday of next week with podcast only episodes.

We're back on Tuesday.

We're back on Tuesday of next week with a podcast-only episode and back in studio on Wednesday.

Yes, and new episode of The Red Head shops Thursday.

So if you're looking for some content, head over there.

And as always, we have premium episodes on all of our TNN shows.

We've got The Snatcher, we've got Mood, we've got Caviar Dreams, we've got our Patreon.

We've got our Patreon.

So really, there is enough content to go around.

Just make sure you space it out right.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Morning Toast, The Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So, it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, and Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CatBox, all the places.

So, wherever you listen to podcasts, find us more.

You'll see a five-star view about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

If you made it to the end of this episode, congratulations, you're a true toaster, a part of the society season two.

And to let us know that you have made it to the end of this episode, why don't you drop an emoji on your most recent Instagram pick?

Perhaps the emoji of

is there a diaper?

No, I don't think so.

Maybe the poop emoji?

No, that's really true.

Yeah, um,

oh, maybe it was diapers for poop.

As opposed to for what?

Pea.

What about, why not both?

I guess both.

I was just only thinking about pee.

No, I was thinking about poop.

Oh.

Okay, well, now that we said it, let's just do the poop emoji.

The poop emoji.

We love you guys.

Have a great day, and we'll see you on Wednesday and Tuesday of next week.

Bye.

Bye-bye.