S4 Ep162: Fashion Hogwash: Tuesday, September 14th, 2021

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast and a happy Tuesday, happy Met Gala recap day.

Hello, Jax.

How are you feeling?

We have a very daunting task ahead of us.

I am feeling up to the challenge, but a little overwhelmed because there are so many things, so many thoughts that I have, like so many things that I want to say.

To recap, the Met Gala, really consumed my night last night because you were occupied.

So I was like having to like check to make sure like Kim didn't step out onto the carpet yet.

And I wound up like consuming the entire evening, which,

you know, there are better ways to spend an evening.

No, like, it was so interesting.

I feel like I've never been more excited for a Met Gala in my life.

And maybe that's why I just felt like slightly let down by, first of all, so much of the fashion was an atrocity.

and like nobody good was there.

Like it was, did it feel like the most lackluster like D-list event?

Like Rihanna showed up at the end and left.

She just walked the carpet and went back to her hotel.

Oh, really?

I saw Pete Davidson.

It was still bright out.

He got out of his car and back to the hotel.

Like people didn't stay for the party.

They didn't even go inside.

I don't think Rihanna went inside.

I think Pete Davidson went inside, but like didn't stay very long.

So interesting.

Okay.

Yes, so much about the fashion, which just, it really felt like watching the hunger games and like these are the people in the capital who like are like effy and just like so out of touch.

But also the guest list, like the people who weren't there who obviously were invited because they've been before the people who weren't there who were clearly not invited and the people who were invited like the first timers so much to discuss so much to discuss and I want to give a brief disclaimer before we dive in because

I'm gonna talk shit about people's fashion

and I just need a reminder like this is not an affront to them a personal attack on them in any way like Joan Rivers said it best like you're making $25 million a picture I'm allowed to make fun of your dress So just if you're sensitive and you think it's me to make fun of people's clothes, stay the fuck away from me.

I'm so excited to get into it.

Also, really, really quickly, I watched LulaRowe.

Okay, I saw your stories and I was feeling so influenced.

So last night I turned it on and I watched five minutes, but I was mentally checked out because I didn't get to take my daily nap yesterday.

And I was like, you know what?

I should, I'm turning this off.

I'm going to sleep.

I'll watch it tomorrow.

Okay, I'm not going to spoil anything for you, but I do want to let you know, like, I didn't really feel like it was worth my time.

It was so good in the beginning.

And they just kept saying, like, and then it happened.

And then, and it was, it was like building up to this moment.

So did you finish it?

Yeah.

And like, what happened basically is like they,

they became a pyramid scheme.

And the documentary also did not do an amazing job of describing what's different, what makes an MLM legal, but a pyramid scheme illegal.

A pyramid scheme is illegal.

Yes.

Okay.

And so what makes it illegal is this little detail that's actually really, really important where like your business cannot be reliant on making money by bringing other people into the company.

Like, so basically at the end of Lu La Row, people were making millions of dollars and they weren't selling one pair of ugly leggings.

Like, they were just recruiting people.

That's a pyramid scheme.

And that's why it was so not sustainable.

They reached 100,000 recruiters, like people all over the, and then people couldn't sell anything.

There was like five Lu La Row girls in their neighborhood, and they were like trying to have parties to sell dresses.

And like, there were other women in the neighborhood who had already sold it.

So it's not sustainable at that point.

But like,

I just didn't really feel like it was that crazy of a story.

Like, I was like, maybe I'm just desensitized because like documentaries are constantly like fucking crazy.

Like nothing crazy happened.

Like it was an MLM.

Like it was a pyramid scheme.

And the one interesting thing I thought was like, so they said like over seven, no, maybe, no, way more.

Like I think less than 1% of recruiters were making a lot of money.

And they had one of these girls who was the third recruiter at

Lula Row.

They had her on the documentary.

And you could tell she had this like, and she has left the company because she just didn't agree with like their principles, but she was still making like six figures when she left.

She,

she just like felt so guilty because, like, they were like juxtaposing her story with like people who literally had to claim bankruptcy from going into Lula Rowe.

And like, she's just one of these people.

And that's how pyramid schemes work.

Like, there's a select people who it's formulated to work for, and she was the third employee there.

So she was one of them.

And then you cut to two other people who, like, it literally destroyed their lives.

They both got divorced.

Like, it ruined their lives.

So that was like interesting, but I just didn't think it was like that

good

as a documentary.

Alula Rowe is still in business.

That's what's crazy.

I have to watch.

I have to understand because I don't understand.

No, and honestly, I don't know if you'll.

But like, I watched the first five minutes and just the fact that these two founders have 14 kids because they have a blended family and they adopted a lot of children.

And then two of their kids are actually married in a non-weird way.

One of the adopted kids married one of the kids from a former marriage.

So they're living in the middle.

They were never in the house at the same time.

Like they never were raised as brother and sister.

I'm sure, like, when they met.

It's weird.

It's weird, but it's also kind of cute.

No, it's so disgusting and weird.

Like, you're a freak.

I thought it was huge.

No, and then it got me thinking, like, about Clueless,

obviously.

And I just feel like that movie would have been just as good if Paul Rudd was like, you know, the dad's legal aide or something.

Like, why did he have to be the brother?

Right.

It's just

like, if you can stomach Clueless, then this Lula Rue story is a love story.

It's not.

I just thought it was like cute and so interesting them as people.

I didn't even, I didn't get five minutes in.

But just the fact that they had this huge family, I just thought was really interesting.

But I guess they're trying to set us up because everybody in the family works for the company, right?

Yes, and it all comes crumbling down.

And like the snitch is her nephew, which is like really, he sits in the documentary, but then it turns out he was running his own Ponzi scheme.

Like, it's twisted.

Oh, my God.

Theo would never snitch.

He's the most amazing nephew.

No, and honestly, the nephew disrespect was out of control.

Do you think it's going to like trigger me?

Yeah, no, as an anti-file yourself, I don't know if you could watch it.

I'm telling you, like, it wasn't that good.

And so you're saying that the nephew betrayed his auntie?

Yeah, even though the auntie deserved it.

This is a tragic story for me.

Yeah.

I just, honestly, like, I didn't think it was that good of a documentary.

Like, uh...

Now I know the story of LulaRow.

It is interesting.

At one point, they were doing a billion dollars in sales, and they had these, like, conventions.

Kelly Clarkson performed.

Katy Perry performed.

And Mario Lopez was the first one to perform because they didn't have enough money

that he would do it for like low budget.

And they said he literally blew up their business because think of who's selling MLM products.

People, women who used to love Save by the Bell.

Right.

So literally they had one event, everyone got a picture with Mario Lopez, and literally the brand boosted sales like 10x that year.

That's hysterical.

Yeah.

Also, noticeably, Kelly Clarkson was not at the Met Gala.

I don't know if she's ever been.

It's disgusting.

It's disgusting.

It's disgusting.

Like I'm really fucking sick of the Kelly Clarkson slander.

It's disgusting.

No, I imagine that like Adam Wintour like

looks down on Kelly Clarkson.

No, I I feel like I don't even know if a designer's ever put her name forward.

It's true.

And it's sick.

No, she's literally American.

She's in the homes of millions of Americans.

She's an American idol.

She's the voice.

She's a touring residency.

She's a queen, and you're right.

You don't have to defend Kelly Townsend.

No, it's disgusting.

It's disgusting.

Except in the documentary, there was this guy.

He was like this guy who worked in customer service and he had some crazy stories, but he was also like...

gassing up the documentary like producer like with his stories and he was talking about Kelly Clarkson and he was like honestly I can't listen to Kelly Clarkson anymore.

Like, I'm scarred, and it's so sad because, like, Since You Being Gone is one of my favorite songs.

And I'm like, It's not Kelly's fault that Lula Rue scammed millions of Americans.

I'm gonna take accountability.

No, totally.

Like, it was moronic.

No, no, I didn't do something that I shouldn't have done.

Kelly did it to me.

Right, I guess Kelly was the last one to perform, and they were already in these lawsuits.

So, like, money that should have been paid out in settlements did go to Kelly Clarkson.

But, like, how the fuck does Kelly Clarkson?

Kelly Clarkson is a working woman.

You know, and what?

Kelly Clarkson's supposed to trace the money.

A brand paid her, and she performed.

It was moronic.

Like, it was just

it is actually crazy though and that's what i was saying yesterday like it's probably in the history of america i don't know this for a fact like the fastest growing brand like they were they said they were doing 25 growth every month like crazy crazy crazy and when you see the product like you will die it's literally like leggings from amazon they're so ugly these patterns that are so chuggy it's the choogiest brand no

i saw some of it it's not even chuggy like it's for clowns it's clown maxi skirts and leggings that's all they made like and then you just couldn't believe, like, wow, this company's having so much growth.

And then you see what they're selling, and it makes no sense.

But then when you think of like 2013, like, you know, this is 2013.

Yeah, and you know, like, leggings were becoming pants.

No, it makes total sense, especially because, like, now we're all aware of MLMs.

Like, you really can't have a successful MLM like that big because you're limited into the people who will work for you because we're all woke on what's going on in MLMs.

But in 2013, there were no documentaries.

There were no TikTok accounts exposing MLMs.

Like, oh, I can be a mom and work from home and make more money than my husband.

And also,

that formula is something that's been done, especially like among women for a while.

We talked about Mary Kay yesterday, but like even Tupperware parties.

Yeah, that's what it was in the documentary.

Also, like I, in the book that I read, which one was it?

Husband's Secret, where, you know, Celia is very big on, like, she's so successful selling Tupperware.

And, like, it's good for her.

There was nothing nefarious.

No nefariousness.

No, and like, I think the Tupperware really helped a lot lot of women.

It made me want to step up my Tupperware game because I never have the right Tupperware for the leftover.

But Olivia sent me home with so many leftovers from Russia Shana.

I literally just sold out of Tupperware.

The best part of going to Olivia's house is not even the leftovers, it's the Tupperware that comes out.

How many Tupperware does she have?

I don't know because she just gives it away.

She sells Tupperware.

Because she has so much.

You're 100% right.

She should.

She should.

I would buy it from her.

Me too.

Okay, so I just wanted to get into the Le La Rue recap because it occupied most of my day.

Okay, cool.

And the whole show, we're really going to be talking about the Mecala.

Like pretty much every story is Mecca adjacent.

So

if you're not interested in the Mecca Alla, at least we talked about Lula Rue.

Yeah.

We do what we can for the people.

Other than that, pretty uneventful day.

Continued my documentary, Rick Burns, New York.

Getting into like 1900, you know, a panic of 1873, Tammany Hall.

I never understood what Tammany Hall was, boss tweed, but now I get it.

It's crazy.

Like when you care, things start to make sense.

Like literally, you're not even speaking English to me.

You've never heard of Tammany Hall?

I've heard of Tamron Hall.

Love her.

Iconic television host.

Anyways, so that's been going well.

Cool, cool.

And that's it on that.

I think without further ado.

Me too.

Like let's let's address the elephant in the room, you know?

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Thank you, Claudia.

So for the Met Gala recap, here's how it's going to go down.

We have an article of all of the looks, must-see looks that you need to see.

And if you guys want to scroll along with us, we're going to post it to our Instagram story after the episode.

So you can just pull that up and you can see the pictures and we'll go pretty much in order.

There's 166 here, so we'll be skipping over

irrelevant people for lack of a kinder term.

And then Claudia and I are going to share our top picks.

And I pretty much have mine, but I also feel like our conversation might influence influence me too how i feel about stuff because i need to talk it all through so let's just dive in let's dive in okay first up we have rihanna and asap rocky they came very late to the red carpet she is wearing a high neck wrap number with more than 260 carats of diamonds by bulgari and thelma west and he's wearing a blanket and they're both wearing blankets and they this was like their first time stepping out as a couple yeah i'm not gonna lie like maybe my bar for rihanna is so incredibly high because honestly 2018 met gala Heavenly Bodies, where everyone was influenced by like the Pope, like Rihanna showed up literally looking like the Pope.

That set the bar for fashion so high for every Met Gala until eternity.

And that maybe that's why I feel like the two Met Galas since then, I've just felt so incredibly let down.

Oh, I don't even think that that one is the one that like, her bar is so high, but it's also like the yellow dress, the red dress.

There are like.

Oh, I'm saying for the Met Gala in general.

Like I think that year, Heavenly Bodies.

And you think that that particular look?

No, Heavenly Bodies, like that theme, that year.

Okay.

So I feel like everything since then, I'm just like, meh, even like camp, like I just didn't feel like.

Camp was a clown show.

Yeah, like, so I just.

We got some good looks out of it as some iconic moments, but like it was clowns on the red carpet.

I just felt like nobody understood the assignment, you know?

Tonight.

Honestly, ever since Come de Garcon, like I feel like nobody understands the assignment.

Okay, this assignment was in America, a lexicon of fashion.

So it's like a celebration of American fashion.

And at first, when I heard it, like, of course, I'm like, okay, so you're going to wear the the flag.

Lady Liberty.

Where's Lady Liberty?

Like, you're gonna wear an American flag, like, wrapped around your shoulders.

Like, what other way is there to go?

Yeah, we're very literal.

Right, but then I was starting to realize, like, no, you could, you know, reference a period in history.

You could reference an iconic look.

You could reference an iconic person.

So, honestly,

when I was watching the red carpet, I didn't think one person nailed like the American theme at all.

But then, like, on TikTok, people were breaking down, like, which looks, you know, Billie Eilish was referencing and Kaye Gerber.

And so, I get it now, but like, I don't know, I felt like it should have been slightly more obvious.

It should be slightly more obvious, but it's not.

Not like overt, but

now my criteria for like liking a look is like, okay, I need to like it upon first seeing it, even if I don't understand the reference.

And then I need to be hit with a reference that makes me understand how it applies to the theme.

So for Rihanna, like, I didn't like the look.

Like, they both looked silly.

I agree.

I didn't like the look.

Maybe in a few years, I'll be eating my words.

Yeah.

Next, we have Jennifer Lopez, who's wearing Ralph Loren, like a total Yellowstone look, you know, rancher couture.

Yeah, honestly, like, I thought she nailed the reference.

Nailed the reference, not the look.

Yeah, like, people loved it, and I just thought, first of all, I don't think the outfit did anything for her.

Like, that shawl made her look kind of broad, like, when she's literally, like, this veldt sexy, like, I don't feel like it showed off her body in a great way.

Yeah, I hated the hat.

Me too.

It's so coaching.

Give it back to Kyle Richards.

Take it off.

I think if she wasn't wearing the hat, I would like the look more.

And also, like, the fur

stole collar.

It's a lot, but like, it's extra.

No, I have to say, I think, like, of all the looks, I loved her reference to the theme most.

And for that, she gets a lot of credit.

Well, because that is one very clear way to go with this theme.

You know, I think a lot of the men referenced like cowboys, and she was one of the few women or maybe only one who did it in a fat way.

And so I'm glad someone did it.

I would have done it a little bit differently.

Yeah, I give this like a six out of 10.

It's good.

She should have taken her hat off and thrown it.

Yes, I'd love like a skit on the carpet.

Yes.

Okay, next we have probably one of the most controversial looks of the evening, Kim Kardashian in black and siaga, covered from head to toe.

There's a lot to unpack here because I think a lot of people are wondering like, is Kanye involved in this?

Like, should we like it?

Is Kanye involved?

Or we don't like it?

You know, like, okay, here's where, what we know about Kanye.

First of all, the person she was with on the carpet and with all night, who was in a matching look, was not Kanye.

No, it was the the designer for Blen Siaga.

Kanye is now following Kim on Instagram again.

And he's only following people who have black profile pictures, which Kim has, which lets me know that they are in the same team.

They're in the same team.

So this is a Kanye-approved look, which I think we all knew from seeing it because he's been wearing this, she's been wearing

masks.

And

I love Kim so much.

So, so dearly.

I know this is paining you.

I just don't get it.

Okay, so I saw on TikTok

that I don't know if this was what Kim meant, but I thought it was such a brilliant interpretation of this look.

And I saw what Morgan Stewart said, and I, and I love Morgan Stewart.

Okay, Morgan Stewart, she had explained it to me, and I posted on my story.

And honestly, like, I think that was just like fashion hogwash.

Like, I was,

you know, like, it's ugly.

Like, let's be real.

But somebody made a TikTok.

Are you okay?

That's just so funny.

What's the word hogwash?

It was perfect.

Hogwash.

It was perfect.

Thanks.

Somebody made a TikTok explaining how they interpreted it.

And Jackie, I'm telling you, it changed the whole look for me.

Tell me.

So, literally, Kim is showing nothing here, but her silhouette, which has had such an influence on American fashion, like how literally the world dresses, how like literally you can't deny Kim's body and the influence of Kim's body on American fashion, like and on everyday people.

Like,

so this person interpreted it as like the only thing showing off here is her body, her silhouette, and that's the America.

Like, she, her body is America.

That's what someone said.

Okay, if that's true.

I thought it was a good interpretation.

I would really like that.

My only thing is, like, Kanye's been wearing this look for a few months.

Like, what's with the covered face?

And why couldn't she just have worn then, like, a literal cat suit?

Yeah.

And why couldn't we see that beautiful face?

No, like, the face covering was like, why you're so obsessed with glam.

And the ponytail sticking out of the face mask was giving me sea biscuit vibes.

Like, it looked like a horse's tail.

Yeah.

Like, coming out of the butthole, it was just really bizarre.

And, like, I'm sure it was, it was warm because it was thunderstorming last night, so it was like humid.

Like, I'm sure she was just dying in there.

And I know she does it for the fashion, but like,

I don't know.

I think we're talking about it.

So everybody's talking about it.

I, but every time Kim wears something that we don't understand, literally in two years, like a watered-down version is on revolve.

What is the watered-down revolve version of this?

I have no idea.

Like, that's just so.

I want to like reserve judgment because, you know, Kanye is a genius and

they usually are ahead of their time.

I'm just not seeing it yet.

No, and I'm not gonna lie, like I was let down because like of course I was waiting for Kim.

Like Kim was probably the most famous person there.

Like Kylie didn't come.

I was waiting for Kim.

Yeah.

Where was Kim?

And I also think like I like your theory.

I feel like there were other ways to just be her body.

I know.

Because also like there was a lot of drapery here.

Not that much body.

You know, it's not like the arms were like sort of like their balloon arms.

Like they're not long train.

It's not skin tight.

So, like, if it was just a body, like

it's something.

You're giving me something.

It's something.

Next, we have Gabrielle Union, who is wearing Iris Van Herpen.

Pretty.

Like, nothing crazy, but very pretty.

Yeah.

And I saw on TikTok who she was referencing, and I can't remember who, but it was like a good reference.

It was a good reference.

Have you seen the reference picture before?

Like, did.

No.

Okay.

So.

But I'm not into early, you know, 60s fashion.

Like, okay, okay, fine.

Next, we have Casey Musgraves, who's wearing all Ralph Lorraine.

And it's disgraceful.

And she's heavily disappointing.

Everyone.

I don't know how you go from her mosquino Barbie moment last year to this, like a turtleneck.

She looks like she sells Lula Row.

Like, it's so...

She's wearing like rain boots, a...

Riding boots.

Okay, riding boots.

A skirt where the slit looks like it's not even hemmed, like it's unfinished, a belt that literally a receptionist wore in the early 80s, and a turtleneck from Fashion Nova.

Yeah, and like the hair is giving me nothing.

This whole thing is giving me absolutely nothing.

It's honestly like not even nice enough for the Met Gala.

Yeah, no, it's not even that it's not on theme or it's not nice enough.

It's actually ugly.

It's bad style, and that's coming from me, okay?

No, and it's like not fancy.

I'm sure there's like a reference somewhere that's doing something, but like she's like an American horse girl, I think.

No, this is not American horse girl.

It's Ralph Lauren.

He's so horsey.

He's so horsey, but like this isn't horsey to me, even.

I think it was intended to be horsey.

Well, the horses are insulted.

And they're quick.

I think the horses should be extremely insulted after last night.

Oh, I know.

Like the way that some people interpreted their contribution, contribution to this country.

I think this country should be insulted after last night.

I agree.

No, this Casey Musgrave's look is very hard for me to digest, especially because she's now 0 for 2 this week.

Like, she did not do.

You know, her VMA look would have been cute on this carpet.

Yes.

Instead, Dixie D'Amelio was wearing it yes and honestly I thought Dixie D'Amelio looked great even though like the headpiece was a bizarre choice I thought she looked unbelievably cute and I'm sure she just wore what she was told yes and I was really proud of her I thought she looked so cute I'm sure she's like gonna get so much hate and now like that we have a like a window into the mind of Dixie like I'm just like I hope it's okay because did you see her after party look no did she just take the headpiece off no she had a whole other dress and it was fucking sick oh my god I need to see it but like I'm sure inside she probably took off her headpiece and she's wearing like the white gloves and the black mini dress and her makeup was very like Twiggy.

Twiggy.

It was very American, the look.

Well, Twiggy is like not an American icon, but I would also say Audrey Hepburn.

Yeah.

So then she's just like Breakfast at Tiffany's.

She's cute.

Where's Breakfast at Tiffany's?

Why didn't anyone do that?

A lot of people reference Audrey Hepburn.

Right, but why not Breakfast at Tiffany's?

I don't know.

I think it's kind of obvious.

Maybe that was Dixie.

Probably, yeah.

Huh.

Cute.

Very cute for Dixie.

Very cute for Dixie.

Very cute.

Okay, next up, we have Justin and Haley Bieber, who are really king and queen of among, they're a couple, you know, power couples at the Met Gala.

I would say this is one of them.

Yeah.

They are wearing Saint Laurent.

And they look really good for like a wedding.

I think that they look like the classic American couple.

They do.

But with her, especially with her sunglasses, that's like, you know, gives me that Tom Cruise movie vibe.

Yeah, no, by the way, this dress is literally gorgeous.

She's literally stunning.

I just felt like it was kind of a letdown.

Not bad or not bad in in any way.

Just like, for me, like, she's the most beautiful girl in the world.

Like, truly.

And I don't know.

I just felt like she could have like pushed the

bar.

Is that the right word?

Pushed the limit.

Pushed it a little bit more.

Okay.

It's just like a black tie wedding.

Okay.

If these people showed up to your black tie wedding.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I'm saying if they went to a black tie wedding.

I hear what you're saying.

I think they look great.

But I agree, like, didn't like reinvent fashion.

No, not at all.

But they look like super cute.

And the sunglasses are actually, they work.

They're a nice touch.

Yeah, but like the sunglasses and then her hair just like being blown out.

She was giving me like a very casual vibe.

But that's like a casual American, like I know.

I just think it's the mechala, like put on Smileiner or something, you know?

Okay, I just think it's a mechala.

Like, go yell at someone else first because everybody else was disgraced.

I'm getting there.

I'm getting there.

Okay, next up, we have the creme de la creme.

That means creme.

I know a lot of you watch from New Jersey.

Creme de la creme.

We have Kendall Jenner in Javon Che in a My Fair Lady inspired gown.

I just have to say, like, I had truly lost hope and faith in humanity until this bitch rolled up.

Like, she saved the Met Gala.

Anna Wintour should be licking Kendall's feet.

She is literally the most gorgeous girl in the whole world.

This dress is a piece of art.

Like, this dress should be in the Met Gala Museum.

Like, it's so spectacular.

The neck piece, it's so,

I don't even have a word for it.

It's opulent.

It's glorious.

It's decadent.

Like,

I'm shocked.

Like, she is now honestly going on two years in a row as best dress at the Met Gala.

When her Kylie showed up in those orange and purple outfits, she's going on two fucking years.

She kills it.

She kills it.

I agree with everything that you just said.

She saved the night.

She saved American fashion

with this look.

And what's crazy is, like, yes, Kendall Jenner is so beautiful, stunning, and smart, smart, but like, your smarts don't matter on the the red carpet.

And I guess you do have say in what you wear.

So, yeah, no, and I think a lot of people either like are best friends with the designer and like are really involved, or like Dixie, when you're just excited to meet, you just show up to the fit-ins and you wear what you wear.

Okay, I'm getting so off track.

Okay, everyone on this red carpet really is just beautiful and stunning.

Yeah, so it's not that Kendall looks amazing because she's beautiful and stunning, because like everyone there is a supermodel, literally.

So, it also is to her credit, it's not just because she's Kendall General's supermodel, agreed, like she

crushed it.

Crushed.

Like, I just want her to know, and I hope she feels good this morning.

Like, as we say, like, it's so easy for Kendall.

Like, all she has to do is put on a dress.

It's so easy for everyone.

It's so easy for her.

And that's what I'm saying about, like, Haley Baldwin.

Yes.

She can't look bad.

Yes.

So honestly, like, I don't know.

I just feel like I hope Kendall Jenner woke up this morning and was so fucking proud of herself for like saving the fashion industry.

Like, I said it.

She saved it.

Like, I was watching these pictures come in and even Kim.

And I was like, what the fuck is going on?

Yeah.

And then Kendall showed up and blew my mind.

And you know, I'm not even like the biggest Kendall stand.

Like, she,

and you know what?

Like,

she gets a lot of shit like for being a supermodel because like her family, like, you know.

But this is proof that like, it's not that easy because all these people showed up and they're gorgeous and they look fine.

She's spectacular looking.

She is the moment.

She is.

She is.

Before we move forward, can you throw me that blanket?

It's freezing in here.

Yes.

I gotta stop wearing shorts.

Like,

it's 71 degrees.

I know, but like, it's, you know, with a little chill plus the AC AC in here.

The AC is nuts.

Okay, keep going.

Okay, next, we have Lupita Niango, who's wearing Versace, a denim Versace dress, which I just want to say, like, I like the dress and I understand the reference because like American fashion is denim.

No, it was very, this was a very good look.

Like, she looked great in the dress, and I understood like what they were referencing.

Like,

Americans like invented denim.

Yes, so great all around.

She understood the assignment.

Yep, 100%.

Next, we have Simone Biles in a crystal encrusted gown that apparently weighed 88 pounds.

See, I love Simone Biles, so I really would prefer not to talk about this because it's really bad.

Like, it's actually ugly.

Yeah, I agree.

And I hate to call, like, works of art ugly because, of course, art is subjective.

Like, somebody could look at this and think it's beautiful, but I just know for a fact, like, this is ugly.

It's just too much.

Like, with the turtleneck underneath.

Honestly, if she had worn it without the turtleneck and it was just like this sculptured silhouette, that would have been sick.

Yeah.

I don't understand the the ASOS turtleneck.

Me neither.

Not even ASOS.

But I'm glad that she was there.

Me too.

Like, I hope she had fun.

Yeah.

Okay, next up, we have like one of the best lookers.

Uh-huh.

Zoe Kravitz wearing St.

Laurent.

Okay.

She is the moment.

Like, this is everything.

Like, so gorgeous.

So, and it's not even that it's so unique.

Like, I feel like there's,

this reminds me of, like, Rose McGowan's.

I keep referencing that moment, but, like, a lot of people wear like chain mail type of dresses.

But this is just, I don't know if it's the the way she's carrying herself and her pose.

Like it's so unique, even though like we've seen something like this before.

Yeah, it's stunning.

It's stunning.

And then when she showed up, you know, like with Channing Tatum, who was wearing like an ill-fitted Versace tuxedo that looked like he was the father of the groom, I was just like, this is a mismatch.

Like it was just not working for me.

I'm sorry.

And I know we're standing the new couple.

We are.

We are.

But they didn't walk the carpet together.

Because they were a mismatch in their outfits.

Let's be real.

Okay, I just want to say you and I fundamentally disagree because I think some of my worst dressed on my list are like men.

Mm-hmm.

And on the one hand, like, it's so hard to like be a man and like be fashion like crazy.

Fashion forward and extra.

But on the other hand, like all you have to do is wear a nice suit and like you will look great.

And where I disagree is like, if you wear just like a plain tuxedo, like you're so unoriginal and I hate you.

Like, I disagree.

I think the best reference for men at the Met Gala is like Harry Styles in 2019 with that black lace floral shirt and like slacks.

Like it was, you want, like, so all the men should be wearing.

no, not all, but like, I just think there's a way to be different.

Like, even if it's like a denim jacket, like, Kanye is a great example.

I know, but not everyone is Kanye.

Not everyone is having a lot of money.

It's the Met Gala.

What are you doing?

What is Chen Rick Tatum doing at the Met Gala?

It's the Met Gala.

It's like a black tie affair.

Put on your best tux and go be.

No, it's a themed affair.

Go support your leading lady.

Themed black tie affair.

Okay, so wear an American design.

And I hate when people do not adhere to them.

Wear an American designer and you're on theme.

I mean, Versachi's not even American.

Everyone who wore like a tux, like they just all are saying it's like an old Hollywood like glam reference.

Oh, please.

That's such an excuse.

Oh, James Corden was old Hollywood glam, please.

I didn't even see him.

No, he wore just like a dad tuxedo.

I blocked him out on my vision.

And it's just like, I'm sorry, I expect more.

That's just me then.

Okay, I'm happy with a man who shows up in a nice looking suit looking nice and happy to be there and respectful of the occasion.

That works for me.

Okay, how about this?

Like, how about just like a slightly different different suit?

Like, it could still be like a tuxedo, but like maybe like, you know, I don't know, something different.

Like just a classic bar mitzvah one is so like boring.

No, like a, it's not bar mitzvah.

Like they don't get their tuxes tailored for the bar mitzvah like.

No, they do.

No, if you're going to be perfect example, RuPaul.

Not when he's in drag, when he is in the workroom, he's always wearing...

Epstein Parker is the name, like really cool custom tailored suits that are like different colors, but they're all like suits and tuxedos.

like perfect there's a way to do it i'm telling you even in like a masculine straight way that some people are going to just be wearing looking handsome wearing a tux and that's okay i just didn't like that they're not going to be on any lists but they're not going to be on worst dress honestly that's not true because channing tatum was almost on my worst dress list you're insane only because his tuxedo was so ill-fitting you're you're insane where was the tailor Next we have Olivia Rodrigo wearing St.

Laurent.

Adorable.

Don't understand the reference.

Not my best dress by any means, but really

a respectable presence.

A respectable look.

Okay, we need to start moving faster because there's literally so many

Alicia Keys in a white ball gown, a white shirt.

Yeah, cute.

That didn't offend me, but also didn't do anything for me.

Next, we have Megan Fox.

We need to talk about her presence there.

She was wearing a Dundas dress styled by obviously Style Me Maeve.

And we need to talk about it all.

MGK wasn't there.

Neither was Travis and Courtney.

Like, I don't understand.

They walked out of the Carlisle Hotel when everyone was leaving for the Met Gala, and all the fans and paparazzis were there, and they walked out in regular clothes and like got into a cab and like went to dinner or something like that.

Yeah, like the polar bar, yeah, yeah, like what?

Yeah, uh, so also, I thought Megan and MGK would be there because, like, they are, you know, the new hot couple, but he wasn't even there.

So, like,

she got invited on her own accord.

Has she been to the Met Gala before?

No, there's like this thing that Megan Fox was like blackballed from like society in 2009.

So I think this was like a really big deal for her.

Yeah.

Um, and I don't understand why MGK wouldn't have gone.

He's so like relevant relevant right now, they are this hot couple.

He has a concert tonight in the city.

I'm going, it's at a theater, so like he's here, yeah.

I don't know, so he wasn't invited, or I can't imagine he wouldn't want to go, like, he went to the VMAs, and yeah, so same with Travis and Courtney, but like good for her for getting invited on her own, and not good for her for those bangs.

Okay, they're a crime against humanity.

I'm disagreeing with you at first, of course.

I was like, what in the what?

But then after seeing like a lot of like photos of her glam,

I love everything from the neck up.

And I

like everything less from the neck down.

Yeah, no, the neck down is just like, it's very Megan Fox, but it's kind of tacky.

Yeah.

And the glam is very

old American.

Like that's how women used to wear their hair.

I love the glam.

I decided I love the glam.

The dress is an atrocity.

Yeah,

I mean, there were worse dresses.

Yes, there were.

There were better ones.

She could wear whatever she wanted.

So it wasn't like my worst look, but not my best.

And it definitely has me like feeling

confused.

Yeah, but I love the glam so much.

Yeah,

okay.

Next, we have Lil Nas, who was wearing a three-part Versace outfit.

So, I love a skit.

You know, he had the big cape, and then they took it off, and he looked like, you know, a knight.

He was wearing like this gold armor.

Then he took off the armor, and he was wearing like a comfortable jumpsuit.

Um, I thought if he had just walked the carpet in the second outfit, it would have been very cool.

It was like this knight, like gold-plated chest.

It was very cool.

I think I imagine there's some sort of reference there that I'm not understanding.

So I liked that, but the outfit he ended up walking in, this like sparkly jumpsuit, is very, you know, Vegas showgirl.

Right.

It's not for me.

It works for me.

Like for, like I said, I think it's like, you know, for the men, as long as you didn't come and what Dan Levy wore, like, we're fine.

That's true.

That's very true.

No, for a man, he was definitely one of the best.

Yeah.

So it's like the easiest for them, but also the hardest.

No, no, I think it's harder for men, for sure.

But it's all

But everything else is easier for them.

Okay, next, i'm skipping ahead we have carrie mulligan who's wearing a barbie pink bustier gown by valentino i know that carrie mulligan's like not your favorite actress no you're yeah no by the way i don't mind carrie mulligan you don't no you're confusing her with like four other people who i hate like jennifer goodwin no no i'm not no i don't mind carrie mulligan she's so cute and she's married to marcus mumford right okay great where's marcus Yeah, he should be there.

She looks unbelievably gorgeous.

She does.

I love the look.

I'm sure there's a reference that I don't even know.

She's honestly giving me like Disney princess.

She's like little red riding hood.

Yeah, like with the cape like a skewed on her shoulder.

She looks absolutely gorgeous and stunning.

Yes, I agree.

10 out of 10.

Very much like it.

Love the color.

Moving on.

Camilla and Sean,

must discuss.

It's an atrocity, and it's honestly offensive.

It's really bad.

Separately, no good.

Together, even worse.

As a couple, if you're walking together, you have to reference one another.

You have to be a look together.

It's not enough.

And if you're not going to do that, then you have to walk separately.

Well, they're both wearing Michael Kors, so like this was meant to be together.

And like, I understand Sean's reference in the sense he looks very like American, like, for sure, like, two belts, whatever, like, rodeo, sure.

But as a look, he doesn't look that great.

And I'm just not understanding Camilla's look at all.

It's really bad.

I mean...

The purple is reminding me of like Selena almost.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

I'm not understanding it at all.

And it's not like it's so beautiful that I'm okay with not understanding it, if that makes sense.

I agree.

Like, I completely agree.

This is a.

Honestly, it like reminds me of like when Sheena Shay wore a crop top to her wedding.

Yeah.

It's a misfortune.

It's kind of tacky.

I'm also like not huge on sequins.

Me neither.

But our next.

But our next girl is wearing a lot of sequins, and I wouldn't have said that.

So we have Sierra, who is wearing dundas.

She is taking the American theme in a sporty direction.

She was wearing like a football-inspired football-inspired number with the number three, which is her man's number.

It's perfect.

With a little football clutch.

And at first,

it does read like a little bit

corny.

Yeah.

But I love it.

It's perfect.

First of all, the reference, like football is America's sport.

Love it, love it, love it.

Her husband being a football player, even better.

Her wearing her husband's number, 10 out of 10.

She looks great.

The dress is beautiful.

And the theme is knocked out of the park.

10 out of 10.

Agreed.

And I feel like she probably felt so good in it, probably had a great night.

Like, some you have to think about some of these people who, like, walk around and they see like Katie Perry in that hamburger.

Right.

And they, like, first of all, you wait on that line to get your picture taken and you're just like standing around in like a literal lamp.

Yeah.

It's just feeling stupid.

Yeah, you're in like a sprinter van.

And then you go inside to like the coolest party, but like you are immobile.

And you're alone because you can't bring like a friend or a plus one.

Like you're there by yourself.

Right.

So I think some people like are probably feel like pretty awkward in their dresses and have kind of an awkward experience.

And also depends how many, like what celebrity you are and how many people you know, whatever.

But then there are some people you could just tell like are going to have the night of their lives and what they're wearing.

They feel good.

They look good.

Sierra.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Okay.

Skipping ahead, we have Lorde in a two-piece ivory look.

Who?

Lorde.

Oh, I didn't even see her.

Yeah, she was there.

I have to say something, and this is going to offend so many people.

I do not get Lorde, and I don't stand.

And honestly, every time I I see.

But we're talking about the looks, remember?

No, I'm just saying.

Like, every time I see a performance of Lorde, I'm like, wow.

So we're all just like being mediocre now.

Different strokes for different folks.

Okay, fine.

I don't understand this outfit, and I really don't care.

Agreed.

Skipping ahead to Billie Eilish and Oscar De Lorenta.

She was one of the chair people of the EP committee, yeah.

So I'm sure her look was heavily thought through.

And I think the reference here is Marilyn Monroe.

Yes, it is.

I have to say, the dress is beautiful.

I hate the hair.

I think it's like, first of all, if it's referencing Marilyn Monroe, it's not a good reference.

And I don't think it flatters her at all.

And the hair, it bothers me so much.

I found it so distracting.

But the dress is beautiful.

The dress is beautiful all together from head to toe.

I don't love it.

I can't tell you why.

It's just not doing anything

for me.

Like, the dress is wearing her.

She's not wearing the dress.

That's true.

But when you saw pictures of it, like, it was spectacular.

But then I just feel like when you come up close, like, I just, I don't know, the hair really threw me off.

I thought it was terrible, yeah.

And I feel like this is a situation, it's like she's not, like, running around.

I mean, also, it's a big dress, so like, how much you know, yeah, movement are you gonna be doing?

But I just the dress is wearing her 100%.

Um, and she said she was inspired by Holiday Barbie.

I'm oh, not Marilyn Monroe.

I don't know.

I think there was Marilyn Monroe.

Okay, we've got to move and group to Natalia Bryant.

We want to talk about Natalia Bryant.

I just thought, like, who dressed her?

Uh, Unclear.

I think.

Shame on them.

She looked fun.

No, it's really,

it's atrocious.

It's really bad.

And I love Natalia Bryant, and I just think, like, they did her dirty.

I think she looks like she was having fun.

Okay.

Okay, skipping ahead, we have Kit Harrington and Rose Leslie.

By the way, see, he wore a different kind of tuxedo.

Cute.

Yeah, but wasn't it nice to see them?

It was, but like, honestly, like, okay, Machine Gunn Kelly couldn't be invited, but Russ Leslie was.

like she was on one season like a million years ago that's a good point like he he is america's sweetheart like he should be there but like i thought it was weird that she was that's true just a thought okay then we have emily blunt who's wearing mew mu she looks incredible beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful we have maluma which i think is a great example of a man taking the theme in stride he's wearing versace and is very much influenced by the american cowboy this is a best dress man for sure like it's still very like masculine and strong but it's on theme and it's different and the fringe it's great okay cool then we have iman who's wearing dolce and gabbana and she looks glorious for the camp year i'm not understanding this reference i would agree I would agree.

Okay, next we have someone I'm excited to talk about because Pete Davidson was there and like, of course, he was there.

I don't know if he's ever been before, but like, no, he hasn't.

Seeing him there made a lot of sense.

Seeing him in a dress was just like such a treat.

He was wearing Tom Brown and I have to say like I think he looked amazing and he's not like a best dress for me because just because there are so many other more worthy Pete watches, but I love this and I wouldn't expect to see Pete Davidson, you know,

in a dress.

No, I and I really just love how he like dove head into first to the experience.

Like I'm sure like he could have been like, sir, I'd like to wear pants, please.

But he just let Tom dress him and he looks very cool.

It's not my best dress, but he looks very good.

And I was happy to see him there.

And I feel like, I mean, I saw he got home pretty early.

Like, so I don't know if he was having a hard time.

He was like flirting with the ladies.

I don't know.

He got home early.

Like, I was on Twitter.

He was there, Margaret.

Yes, she was.

That is awkward.

And so, was, did he ever date Kaya?

I get all those skinny brunettes confused.

It's confusing.

It's confusing.

Well, if he hadn't, she's next.

Okay, next we have Timothy Chalamet, who is another co-chair.

And even though Timothy Chalamay does nothing for me on a regular day, this outfit did so much for me he he's one of my male best dressed this is such a very a really cool way again not understanding what we're referencing I just hate the shoes I know but converse Converse then when you think about it they are so American they're so American I thought the same thing like I love everything till the shoes but like

the shoes they were thought through I guess yeah it's it's a good it's a little cater waiter but it's good I was a big fan it's all I'm a big fan yeah then we have Jennifer Hudson who looks glorious glorious.

Stunning.

This dress is gorgeous.

Her body looks amazing.

I'm sure it's referencing some old Hollywood look because it's very old Hollywood and it's everything of the sort and she killed it.

Yeah.

Like someone who really just, you know,

came out of nowhere looking like top 10.

Yeah.

Okay, then we have Zoe Deutsche Inversace.

Gorgeous.

Like I didn't even recognize her.

And you know what I love?

When somebody looks different at them, because you know these people, they get their hair and makeup done all the time.

They always look gorgeous.

But she has like a totally different hairstyle.

I almost didn't recognize her.

Her makeup was different.

I loved it, even though I don't think it's on theme at all.

It's gorgeous.

Um,

so then what did you think about

Hailey Seinfeld?

Oh, you know what?

I only saw a picture of her this morning and I didn't even recognize her, but she looked cute.

Yeah, I like when people didn't like bleach yellow from Taylor Swift, but it was very on theme.

The theme was like punk.

Yeah.

And she looked amazing and she looked different.

Like that is what this is like a costume party.

Like you have to put in effort.

Yeah.

And I thought Joey dwitch looked beautiful switching over from my ipad that's dead to the phone and then to the computer okay skipping ahead we have tiana taylor rita aura was there oh my god the bar's so low i didn't even see rita aura where are you seeing tiana taylor i skipped ahead oh a lot deeply oh um

I mean, it's hard to look bad when you look like that.

Right.

But I don't know, something about this is just...

It's very um like VMAs, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know, I'm not crazy about it, yeah, agreed.

Then we have Haley Seinfeld, who we just talked about.

I think she does look irrecognizable, and I think she looks cute.

I mean, I love the dress, I think everybody's like shook up about the eyebrows.

No, the makeup is what's making her look so different because her nose bleached her eyebrows.

It's not even her eyebrows, her nose looks different.

She looks very different, but you know what?

She understood the assignment, like in many ways.

She's in a costume, she looks like Chloe,

Kardashian.

Yes,

yes okay then we had frank ocean who was there in prada and he had a prop of like a robot baby yeah this is the like where i kind of draw the line like at my expertise like i don't understand certain parts of fashion yeah and i'm sure there's like a brilliant nod here

but personally just not really understanding the the nod same

okay next we have normani wearing valentino absolutely gloriously perfectly done

like the hair the glam the jewels, the dress, everything is perfect.

This dress complements her skin tone so well.

It's perfect.

Yeah,

agreed.

Okay, next we have Mary J.

Blige wearing dundas.

All the dundas dresses, and it's funny because we spoke about them on the show yesterday for being like a revolve

endeavor.

No, they showed up and they showed out.

Yeah, no, they're all like really sexy and beautiful dresses, and Mary J.

Blige is a queen.

She is.

I agree.

There were a lot of like just great dresses.

We also have like Laura Harrier who's coming up who like just looked amazing for a a night out on the town like nothing special or noteworthy but just gorgeous right like not a best dress not a worst dress could have been going to the oscars yeah but whatever like you know no regrets yeah sunny lee was there she looks so cute no she doesn't i'm sorry i love sunny lee no i mean the outfit's not bad but like it's the outfit's bad

i'm sorry the outfit's not good yeah but like her face is gorgeous and she looks like she's having fun but like what is with the ill-fitting crop top and the skirt made out of cardboard boxes yeah i don't know i couldn't tell you yeah chloe feyneman i love Chloe Feynman.

And she's great for the Met Gala.

It's like a New York event.

She's a New York girl.

She looks old Hollywood glamour.

Like, it's not the most creative, but she looks beautiful.

And she did

understand the theme.

Yeah.

I agree.

Like, and I do feel like old Hollywood glamour would be an obvious choice, you know, just like the flappers.

Right, the curly wave.

And there wasn't that much of it.

No, and I think she did it very well.

Yes, agreed.

Okay, skipping ahead to Serena Williams, who is wearing custom gucci

serena williams is one of my heroes you know

so i'm just gonna sit this one out okay okay cool yeah no it's just a lot it's a lot and and none of it goes well together yeah yeah not for me meg the stallion wearing coach

Best of old Hollywood.

She like nailed it.

The dress is perfect.

Her pose is even like so Marilyn Monroe.

The hair, the side part, it's perfect.

Yeah, I agree.

Love to see it.

Okay, next we have Irena Shake, who was there with Mosquino and Jeremy Scott.

I think a lot of people were comparing like Irina's look to Kim's look.

Oh, well, I was comparing Irina's look to

Lily Reinhart.

Lily Reinhart and Lily Reinhart did it so much better.

One, because that dress is just so perfect for like for everything that Lily Reinhart represents.

And then I read somewhere that like the dress was very American because, you know, all the flowers were from all 50 states.

50 flowers from 50 states.

Perfect.

Like literal perfection in every way.

And of the two dresses, I think Lily Reinhart's is better.

Okay.

This one looks like a little small on Irina Shake, which is crazy because she's tiny.

I actually really like Irena Shake's dress.

I think she looks great.

I was expecting Mosquino to, you know, do some red, white, and blue.

Give me two.

More literal.

We really didn't get any of that except from like Debbie Harry.

I don't know if you saw her.

I didn't.

She was wearing what you had in mind.

You know, like if I, if that was me, like, I would just bring a flag and be like Jeremy Scott, like make it a dress.

Yeah.

No, I hear you.

Also, Irina's hair is

offensive.

Right.

Offensive to you.

That's really bad.

Yeah.

I know how you feel about that hairstyle.

Okay.

Aza Gonzalez, who's wearing Versace, just looking sickeningly.

Perfect.

Can do no wrong, but again, could be on any red carpet anywhere in the world.

Not Met Gal specific, but she looks great.

You're 100% right.

Yeah.

But that's like, that's fine to me.

I know we wouldn't normally talk about Russell Westbrook, but I just have to say in the conversation we were having, I think that this is a great way to dress as a man.

It's not a black tie, it's a blue navy tots, but you have like a cool little necklace detail.

It's different, and it's better.

And I like it too.

Okay, good.

I'm glad we can agree.

Naomi Osaka, who was another one of the night's co-chairs, was wearing Louis Vuitton.

And in the words of Luanne De Lesseps, even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes.

Thank you.

And I'm so sad about this because Louis Vuitton is probably my favorite designer.

Like, if I ever went to the Met Gala, I would want to be designed by Louis Vuitton.

And Naomi Osaka is just like coming off of an amazing year.

And

I actually don't even know where to begin to unpack what...

I don't even know what I'm looking at, honestly.

And maybe that's, again, like my limited view of fashion and like understanding of like this like art form.

Maybe I'll ask Morgan Stewart to explain because I don't understand this.

Well, the reference is that it was inspired by her American, Haitian, and Japanese heritage.

So it's like a fusion.

That's very cool.

But unfortunately, the dress is still not beautiful.

Agreed.

Agreed.

And I don't think that her Glem team did anything for her either.

Agreed, agreed, agreed.

Okay.

I'm glad we can agree.

And I'm sad about it.

Yeah.

Okay, next we have Troy Sivon.

I don't know who he's wearing.

But it's a plunging, backless jumpsuit.

It's fine.

It's like not really American.

Like, I don't get the reference.

Yeah.

And I don't think it's that cool.

Yeah, I don't love it.

But Ben Platt

is perfect.

Ben Platt, I hate this.

What?

Oh, my God.

I think it's literally perfect.

It's literally, when I saw it, I'm like, I know the theme.

I know, because it's like, it's a denim tuxedo.

It's like the American 70s.

It's so that 70s show.

It's way too on the money for me.

I love it.

And his hair was perfect.

I literally hate it.

Oh, I thought it was great.

I thought it was great.

Like, he did a good job.

I just don't like it.

I mean, you never wear it.

No, no, no.

But like, I just, but yes, I.

I know.

It just hit me wrong.

I know.

I feel that.

Like, it's, it's, it's unique.

Yes.

Next, we have

Carly Kloss.

I just feel like Carly Kloss, like, is constantly, like, letting me down.

Like, this is a gorgeous dress, and she's a gorgeous girl, but, like, I don't know, do something different once in a while.

Like, look ugly, like something.

Like, it's just too easy for Carly Kloss.

And she always just does the bare minimum, in my opinion.

I agree with that.

But this dress is, like, literally sick.

Yeah,

she looks great.

Again, any red carpet, anywhere in the world.

Yeah.

Okay, next we have Taylor hill who's wearing versace looking like an angel who just fell out of heaven yeah the picture they're using on people is like literally the worst picture i saw like her looking so much better in different pictures but i agree this blue versace number is glorious and i can't believe taylor hill was invited like a lot like there are a lot of models like there were so many just models because that's fashion yeah yeah that's true you know like that they have the models there but i feel like she had like a She was like super relevant for a while and like now she just lives a quiet life, does her business.

Like she's the face of David Yerman.

I saw her at them.

Right, but I think like some of these these designers still want models in their clothes.

Yeah.

You know, it's some things don't change.

Yeah.

Sweetie is next.

I thought this was beautiful.

Yeah, I like that it's actually, it's, you know, it's a good interpretation of red, white, and blue.

We get the red and blue and sparkly.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

Not my favorite.

Overall, not my favorite, but it's a good look.

Yeah.

It's a good look.

Then we have Yara Shahidi, who is in a Josephine Baker-inspired embroidered strapless gown, all by Dior.

Creme de la creme.

Creme de la creme.

Creme.

Stunning.

One of the best looks of the evening.

I agree.

Putting her on the short list, and then we will figure out between us, you know, who the best dress is.

If it's top three.

Oh, here's Debbie Harry.

Next, we have Zach Posen and Debbie Harry.

Okay, respect for Zach Posen.

Like, somebody understood the assignment.

Like, okay, although this is not like the most beautiful dress I've ever seen, like the denim, the red and white, like finally, like that, I was expecting a million Debbie Harry's, and I got one.

Okay, next we have Grimes, who is in a dune-inspired, sheer ombre-capped Iris Van Herpen gown with a metallic mask and a matching sword.

I don't know.

I don't know what to say here.

Here's the thing: I'm not gonna pretend to understand it, not gonna pretend to understand Grimes, but like respect to Grimes.

Sure, whatever.

Sure, she commits to whatever it is that she's doing.

Chris Jenner, Chris Jenner, looking like the classy broad she is.

Yeah, like she was really there on business and she looks like it.

Yeah, no, and I feel like in the past she's tried to like, you know, try and like do this stuff like with the kids and the wigs and everything.

And she looks silly.

Yeah, silly.

She's grown up.

She's grown up and she looks wonderfully mature and on point.

Yeah.

Next we have Lily Reinhardt who we discussed as looking fantastic.

Then there's Cara Delavine in Dior.

Peg the Patriarchy.

Okay.

I, If you say so.

Yeah, but also the outfit is giving very much Michaela's bib.

Like, just from a fashion standpoint.

Yeah.

Okay.

Next, we have someone who just looks so sickeningly stunning, Joan Smalls.

In Ralph's gorgeous Lorraine.

That's literally like,

it's perfect.

It is perfect.

It's perfection.

Feeling good about it.

Me too.

I'll skip over Channing Tatum because we talked about him.

I'm not going to agree.

And I don't want to hurt you any further.

Lily Aldridge is disappointing in Ralph Lorraine, I would say.

Majorly.

She's giving me Kmart.

She's giving me the reference, but not the

fashion.

It's giving Kmart.

Yeah.

Okay, next we have CL, who is wearing an over,

a denim overcoat with high-waisted briefs, both Alexander Wayne, which she looks kind of crazy, but the reference is there.

Like it's like the Calvin Klein.

I know, I know, and I wish they had done it a little bit better because the undies is giving diaper.

And if it was better, I think that it would have been amazing.

Yeah.

Okay, next we have Rosalia, who's wearing like all fringe.

I didn't even see this look until right now.

Me neither.

And literally, like, nothing fits her.

The boots are enormous.

The jacket is swallowing her.

Like, where is the tailor?

Yeah.

I agree.

I don't get it.

Okay, we're going to skip ahead.

There's literally so many looks.

Kaya Gerber, please

explain to me the reference.

It's an Audrey Hepburn look.

I think Audrey Hepburn literally, or maybe not.

Bianca Jagger.

Oh, yes, Bianca Jagger wore the exact same dress.

Now, the hair is, she looks like her mother here.

Yes.

The, and which is not an inside.

I thought that that was her reference.

You know what?

That would have been perfect.

Like, draw a little mole, wear like a classic Cindy Crawford.

Wear an old dress from her garage.

The hair is terrible.

She's going to a funeral.

I think this is atrocious.

For literally.

Atrocious.

For the model of the moment, literally the biggest model right now.

This is what you're giving me at the Met Gala.

And where the fuck is Jacob Belori?

Are they dating?

Yeah.

Cute.

Yeah, really cute.

Why wasn't he there?

He, like, would be there.

He's very in fashion.

Like, he does all these photo shoots and he wears like really androgynous clothing.

Like, he would have been great.

Okay.

I think she looks so stunning.

She obviously played it safe, but like, I can't believe the word atrocious was used to describe it.

I hate it.

Hate with the intensity of 10,000 sons.

The hair is the worst part of it.

And the the waistline is so.

Okay, but the hair is classic.

I saw the Bianca Jagger reference.

The Bianca Jagger hair was everything of the sort.

This was nothing of the sort.

Hate.

Loathe entirely.

Loathe entirely.

Okay, skipping ahead next to, I think it's safe to say the worst look of the night, Dan Levy.

Oh, wait, let me skip.

I mean, I would agree with you.

I saw posted on Instagram like a really in-depth explanation of the look.

And while I really appreciate the sentiment that was put into it,

there's so many things wrong with this just as a look.

And I'm going to start with the hair.

It's so greasy.

It looks like there's tar in it.

Like it's,

it's helmet head.

Like the hair is bothering me so much.

I couldn't look at anything else.

And it's just bad.

It's really bad.

And he was like one of the first to come.

So you just kept seeing this picture over and over again.

Like some of these people who are wearing bad looks, like I didn't even see them until this morning.

Rosalia.

You know, no, but hers wasn't like that bad.

But like, I don't know, just Dan Levy, just like, he was one of the first to make an impression.

And it was a really bad one.

Yeah, really bad.

Okay, next.

Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Pelt.

Giving me Barbie and Ken, and it's perfect.

Also giving me like Betty Draper Dawn drapers.

Yes.

And like that's like the reference.

I actually, I know it's simple and I know they didn't like reinvent the fashion wheel or anything.

And they're also just like two models being being models but I think they look amazing.

I completely agree.

Amazing.

Agreed.

Like once you say Betty Draper and like no, not a lot of people went that route either.

No.

So I think I was glad that they did it.

Me too.

Okay, moving on.

Is who else have we not spoken about?

Emma Chamberlain.

Emma.

Okay, and then I have said one more.

Emma Chamberlain was wearing Louis Vuitton.

She was the literal first person there, which, by the way, if you want to get your, if you want to stand out at the Met Gala, be the first person person there so two things one she was the first person there because you know how like a few years ago liza koshi was the youtuber who went and she did the red carpet interviews for vogue yeah that was emma chamberlain so she had to be there first to interview everyone oh she did interviews i didn't even see yes she did the interviews second you were right there was a youtube table and derek blasberg brought nikki tutorials jackie ayena emma chamberlain even though emma chamberlain was dressed by louis vuitton so and which brings to our next dressed addison ray who is at the youtube table with derek blasberg we need to talk about addison's look and then we need to talk about everyone saying that she borrowed the dress from Courtney because now if she went with YouTube, that means a designer did not dress her and then she was asked to show up.

She was dressed by luxury law.

Do you think that was Courtney's dress?

No.

But luxury law is her stylist.

Yeah, right.

She can afford a dress.

So you just think it's a coincidence.

Yeah, and if she borrowed a dress from Courtney, which is entirely possible, she wouldn't have given her a dress she recently worn.

I'm sure she has a million dresses she's never worn.

Oh, I'm just assuming that perhaps she borrowed the dress.

One was strapless and one was.

Maybe that, maybe they added straps.

Like, maybe they made it for Addison.

I don't think so.

Okay.

I was fine with her borrowing a dress.

Like, she gets invited to Fashion's Biggest Night, just happens to be at the one table that's not dressing you, and she's going to her most fashionable friend for help.

I think that's, like, so cute, and she, like, wants to take it seriously.

And, you know, by the way, I felt the way about her outfit.

Like, was it

earth-shattering?

No, but did she fit in?

Yes.

And honestly, I'm sure that's all she wanted.

Yeah.

At first, I actually thought it was Photoshop because the hair was so different

from what we've seen.

But the more I look at it, the more I love her look so much.

It's

beautiful.

She also looks like Margot Robbie with her hair.

And you know what?

She looked mature.

Yeah.

She looked like she belonged there.

And I know not everyone loved it.

And yes, could she have done something crazier and better?

Yeah, of course.

But I'm sure she just wanted to fit in.

It's a very scary night.

I'm sure she was actually so happy to have Dixie there because like you don't, you really can't talk to anyone.

And Courtney wasn't there.

And like, what is she going to go up to Kim and Kendall?

Like, she met them twice.

Like,

I'm sure they actually, like, were so grateful to have one another there and so I was really happy that they both were there yeah and then um

anyone else you want to discuss no but just really quickly back to Emma Chamberlain because we didn't even get to discuss her dress was so unbelievably gorgeous and perfect and her makeup was

killer like she was in my top best dressed yeah 100% agree but and then I don't know if it's just because she got there so early her dress made such an impact whereas like the later dresses when you're seeing them all at once they just don't like hit you yeah no I agree like it you get a time slot I heard Kendall and Gigi like talking about that.

They're like, they got slotted together to walk.

They were like so happy about it.

So, you really don't get to choose when you walk.

Interesting.

Oh, I guess if like you had a choice, I would want to be the first one there, unless I didn't like my outfit.

Yeah,

just gond.

I would go at the same time as Kim.

Okay, so all in all, if you had to give someone a worse dressed, let me see.

I screenshotted some of my least favorites.

Okay, I only got to like put pen to paper on two worst dresses.

Okay, mine is very, very, very set, said with a very heavy heart, but it's Casey Musgraves.

Okay.

It's really bad.

I didn't put her on worst dress because, like, it was not good, it wasn't good.

No, it's pretty bad.

It's really bad.

Especially when the bar is so high for her.

For her.

Yeah.

So she fell far from the bar.

One of my worst was Dan Levy.

I just, and especially because he came so early, and I was just like, oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Then AOC.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, how moronic.

Read the room.

Like, okay, $30,000 ticket to go

in the wealthiest room on earth right now.

Go ahead.

Go tax them.

No, it was so stupid.

And honestly.

Or like, take your $35,000 ticket, donate it to the government.

Right, not to some museum.

Or the $250,000 table.

Maybe you could get your table meets in on it.

No, also, I just, as a general rule of thumb, like, I don't like when people put messages like in a bottle on their dresses.

Like, I don't like that.

If your outfit has writing on it, I am not going to like it.

I agree.

Like, because honestly, even if it's like a powerful, good message, like, it's so tacky.

like, just like it's so tacky, and it's like, it's so obvious.

Like, I don't know, you have something to say, say it in a more artistic way.

Subtle way.

Yeah.

And then when you get interviewed on the red card, but you can, and they say, well, it was the inspiration, you can sort of explain.

But like, to have to write the words to spell it out for us, like, I hate it every single time.

Me too.

I completely agree.

Without fail.

Okay.

And then best dress for me is honestly a no-brainer.

It is, of course, Kendall Jenner with an honorable mention to

Zoe Kravitz.

Ooh, okay.

Best dress for me was Kendall Jenner.

And that's two years in a row because I voted her best at camp.

Oh, I don't know.

She was my number one best, which is so crazy.

And then my second best dress was Anokiai.

We didn't get a chance to talk about her in the People magazine article.

I posted a picture of her to my story.

She's a model.

She just was the moment, Claude.

Like everything of the sort, everything you want to see at the Met Gal.

I have a picture on my phone.

Just.

Oh, gorgeous.

Gorgeous-ness.

Yeah, and then if I had to choose a third,

but you don't because we decided on one.

Oh, great, yeah, you're done.

I'm done.

Um, honestly, I just felt like all in all, so many of the looks were just like so disappointing, but then also the guest list was so disappointing.

Like, there was no Kylie.

Oh my god, yeah, we need to talk about the people who were there and the people who weren't, no Lady Gaga, no Ariana Grande,

no Harry Styles, no Beyonce, no Taylor Swift,

don't desta, don't desta, like it was so, honestly, like, B-list.

It was incredibly B-list.

I think there were a lot of people who weren't there.

I mean, I understand probably Beyonce that had, like, she doesn't go all the time.

Like, she has other things going on.

But, like, Lady Gaga is a weird one to me.

She's been.

Oh, Selena Gomez was just in New York promoting her TV show.

She always goes with Coach.

She always goes.

Yeah, no, Lady Gaga should be promoting.

She's doing House of Gucci.

Right?

Isn't it Gucci?

Why wouldn't she be doing a Gucci moment, like, to promote the show?

Cardi B.

Cardi.

Well, she just had a baby.

Okay.

Like Like literally a week ago.

I was just going to say that too, but I think you know Cardi B like coming on the red carpet having just had a baby and like giving us a whole new moment.

Giving us like a whole like a hospital room maternity wing moment.

Right.

And like a new respect for postpartum

fashion.

Lizzo.

Yeah.

Lizzo.

No one was there.

No one was there.

I think who else I was really surprised wasn't there considering like ever since they megsited, we thought that they were doing it to go to the Met Gala.

Same.

Megan and Harry.

Harry and Megan for sure.

Zendaya wasn't there.

i thought for sure harry and megan were going to be there and honestly like i was wrong me too otherwise why did it point yeah right but i also feel like this was like the losery met gala no nobody wants to be associated when maybe it comes back all the way even though i do think on the red the only thing that matters is the red carpet So, and I think Brianna thought the same thing when she went and took her picture.

I didn't even know she didn't go into the party.

She might have gone in, but she was swiftly.

I saw her like coming from the hotel and coming back from the hotel literally within an hour.

So,

even though, like, on the inside, maybe it wasn't the same as it's usually been or whatever, like

it was still the 2021 Met Gala.

Right.

It was.

And it was nothing.

It was.

It was really lackluster.

Okay, now we're going to get into some stories, mostly Met Gala adjacent.

The first big one who was making news as the carpet was starting was Mickey Minaj, who skipped the Met Gala over the vaccine mandate and made a claim of impotence about her cousin's friend.

Right.

So she tweeted, they want you to get vaccinated for the Met.

If I get vaccinated, it won't be for the Met.

It'll be once I feel I've done enough research.

I'm working on that now.

In the meantime, my loves, be safe.

Wear the mask with two strings that grips your head and face, not that loose one.

So honestly, like, I had heard like whispers that certain people who weren't attending were because they were not vaccinated.

And then Nikki Minaj just kind of confirmed that for me.

And now I'm just like everyone who wasn't there, I'm like, well, is it because you're not vaccinated or because like you were busy?

Right.

You know?

I'm sure.

We'll never know.

I'm sure it's both.

It's a mix of both.

Yeah.

And we knew that the Met Gala was going to be like vaccine mandate.

Did we?

I'm pretty sure.

I had read this like page six article a few weeks ago that was like all about the rules for this mech ala.

But also.

I thought it also meant masks on the carpet, but it's just masks.

They had to wear masks inside.

Oh, maybe that's why people didn't want to stay.

Unless they were eating or drinking.

But they're also all vaccinated.

Also, the food was vegan, so like no one was eating.

I saw a picture of the food, Kiki Palmer, doing the Lord's work.

It was actual like

rations, like it was atrocious.

I haven't seen anything from inside yet.

No, like Kiki Palmer was like, This is why no one shows you the food.

Like, it was actual, like, mousetroppings.

Like, it was so offensive to me as a food eater.

Oh my god, and they're probably also hungry.

It's the longest day ever.

They've been like waiting on those lines.

I'm telling you, like, the mechala is not forgotten.

And like, when I saw that Courtney just went to polo bar with her man, like, in the, and they were by the fireplace, I was like, to that dress casually, that is an evening to me.

No, a hundred percent.

And that's why I feel like so many people, like, they just go and they, they change so quickly into their after party looks.

And like, that's the after parties.

Like they're always serving, and like, especially I'm sure at Rihanna's, like, they always have like a Shake Shack sponsorship.

Like, that after party is, I think, why people put up with the torture.

And of course, the picture is.

And, like, you are just, you know, you're,

that's, like, the highest level of celebrity, I think, you know?

Yeah, totally.

But I didn't really see much about the after party.

Maybe it was like a phone, no phones event.

Yeah, I haven't seen, I mean, I also had a very busy morning.

I sliced my finger open, which is why I'm wearing this band-aid.

What were you eating?

I was eating a bagel because I'm a big woman.

Did you get blood on the bagel?

No, you know, no, I didn't.

But it ruined my whole morning because then I couldn't, I was gushing blood.

I'm still like foraging ahead with one hand trying to make a bagel.

And then I had to go and do my makeup and I left it in the toaster, so I toasted it again.

It was a hockey puck by the time I ate this goddamn bagel.

I didn't even eat the whole thing.

You guys, just

it's just so difficult.

It's so hard.

Um, okay, anything anything else you want to say about the Met Gala?

No, all in all, like, overall, it was an enormous wave of disappointment.

Like,

and I was just, maybe I was just expecting too much from, like, my favorite peeps, you know?

I think for me, the bar was very low,

as were the results.

As were the results.

So, I wasn't expecting anything that I didn't get.

I think maybe, especially in the beginning of the night, I was like, this is worse than I could have imagined.

We didn't really get iconic red carpet moments.

Like, why did J-Lo not walk with the carpet with Ben?

Oh, yeah.

Instead, they were only together on the inside where they wore a mask while they kissed, which is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

Yeah, no, it's moronic.

Also, Bill de Blasio was there.

And honestly, after that, I was out.

So offensive.

No, that's actually disgusting.

Like, seriously, like, this is a New York event, and you are going to literally invite the man who single-handedly destroyed the city.

And we all agree.

Like, it's not a political thing.

We all agree that Bill de Blasio is an actual

maniac.

And we're inviting him.

Like, why are we rewarding him?

That was a huge, huge mistake.

Yeah.

And that was really offensive to me as a New Yorker.

I completely agree.

And anyone else that

you just...

I do wish we could see what Kylie was going to wear and who she was going to go with.

I know.

Like a pregnant moment.

Some of the best, like most iconic looks on the red carpet are pregnant moments.

Like remember when Carly B was wearing like an actual cathedral and she was pregnant, like, a pregnant

met

gala moment is

beautiful.

Yeah.

Why are you looking at me like that?

No, I'm not.

I'm just trying to think, like, look at me, like, so terse.

No, no, I'm sorry.

If there was, like, anything else, like, we didn't get the you know, couple moment between Megan Kelly.

We didn't get Channing Tammy and Zoe Kravitz.

We didn't get Travis and Courtney.

We didn't get Jen and Ben together.

No.

So.

And we didn't get like any real A-listers.

And we didn't get any great iconic photos.

Like, even when, you know, all the Kardashians were there with their husbands and boyfriends and for camp and they were just like all together on the carpet, like so cute.

Yeah.

Nothing like that.

No.

It was honestly like I'm holding out for the next Monday in May.

Like maybe this was just like a temporary event.

Like they had to have one.

Right, but they had all the same things that the other ones have.

It was just so like, wow.

Yeah.

Maybe they need to start televising it, okay?

I mean, the carpet was on E.

No, like the event, like.

Oh, my God.

The carpet was on E.

And, like, all I want to see is like a camera live stream on the carpet.

That's all I want to see.

And they kept going to the four talking heads.

Oh, my God.

I...

I was like, what am I?

Why am I looking at those people?

That's so fucking annoying.

When like the biggest night in fashion is underway and you keep cutting back.

I don't even care if

it's someone's train holder who's walking through.

I want to see it.

By the way, they really need to bring back Fashion Police and it needs to be Morgan Stewart's show.

Yeah.

Like I was thinking that the other day because I was like, I was wanting to watch something this morning while I got ready for the show to like hear what other people thought about the fashion.

Like there's nothing on.

And I'm like, why can't we do, first of all, Fashion Police was the best show on television.

And I do think we could recreate it.

Like, I actually think Morgan would be so good at it.

I know, but she has so much on her plate at the New Network.

She needs to leave behind Nightly Pop.

But I think she loves Nightly Pop.

And Fashion Place would be once a week, maybe less.

Maybe just after like big events.

Okay, you should talk to her, but I don't think she sees it like that.

Okay, but like she is honestly one of the most fashionable people of our generation.

And funny talking head.

So I think that like really E is constantly churning out pieces of shit like celebrity game face.

It's constant.

We need, it's time.

Okay.

Thank you for your play.

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Thank you, Claudia.

It's a pleasure.

Next up, we have some happy couple news.

Kate Hudson is engaged to Danny Fujikawa after five years of dating.

Wow, that means we've been doing this show for a long time because I feel like we announced that they were dating on a podcast probably five years ago.

Honestly, like, I love Kate Hudson, but I really don't find myself keeping up with her love life only because she doesn't really date like super famous people.

So like, happy for her.

I think that's good.

And Danny Fujikawa is the stepbrother of the Foster sisters.

Because

they were commenting, Erin commented, finally, we're officially sisters.

Sarah wrote, Whoa, it's official.

Dude, that must be so fun for them.

And they are,

I do associate all of them with each other.

Well, they're like this group, like they're a clique in Hollywood of like blonde women who are always together.

Like, Kate Hudson and the Fosters are really close.

So, this is actually so cute.

Like, you know, someone marries your brother, like, that's your sister.

Yeah.

That's super cute.

They seem like they've been a happy couple for a while, so why not take the next step?

Also, Kate Hudson was at the Met Gala last night.

Did we talk about her outfit?

No, it was just like a pink crop top, and it was fine.

It was fine.

Also,

I always feel like you know, Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, like, we're supposed to end up together.

Yeah, that's like Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper.

Yeah,

but I don't feel that way about Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper anymore.

I feel like he's kind of talking about Brian Gosling and Rachel McAdams.

Yes.

Yeah.

It's like Cameron Diaz and Jason Siegel.

Oh, yeah.

That's what everyone says, right?

Well, I'm happy for Kate Hudson.

That's actually I'm actually happier for like Erin and Sarah.

Like that's rocks.

I'm happy for the whole crew, you know,

the group.

That'll be fun wedding, bridal party.

Totally.

They actually have like that.

I feel like Gwyneth Paltrow's in that crew.

Jen Meyer Jewelry is in that crew.

It's just like rich blonde women.

Happy for them.

Same.

Fifth and final story.

Even though I lost count of what was what in the first story.

No, I think this is fourth.

It's just the last tab I have open.

It's four.

Well, the third story was about like Chatting Tatum and Zoe Krabbit.

It's like going together.

I already covered it.

But not being together.

Okay.

So I brought it up again.

It's fine.

But I didn't number it.

It's okay.

Fifth and final story.

You know what, you guys?

I think we all need this after having to talk about fashion hog wash all morning.

It's the final story.

Okay, do is like stop hacking.

It's like, shut the fuck up, you annoying motherfuckers.

Okay, what's final story?

Talentless, annoying

hacks with your obnoxious voices.

You say, like too much.

Okay, all right.

Stop speaking.

You're defending me now.

Okay, the fifth and final story is that Harry Styles and Florence Pugh make out in

Pug.

She's a pogue.

Pug, huh?

Make out in Don't Worry, Darling, Teaser, the movie directed by Olivia Wilde that has brought this couple together while he's making out with another lady where Olivia Wilde is holding the camera.

While Olivia Wilde's posting the trailer on her Instagram, like it's weird, but also the scene of them making out was like very sexy and like the Harry stands like were they like we're not well like check on your local Harry stand because it was just like this very erotic scene of them in the trailer.

I mean, only

Harry Styles can make the most boring 11-second trailer, like, worldwide news.

Um, and you know, I have to say something, and maybe I'm showing my age here, but like, I have no idea who Florence Puga is.

She's from Little Women, which is obviously why you don't know her.

And she dates Zach Brass.

I know that, which is weird because, like, isn't he 1,000 years old?

Yes, and so I think when

they started, she's 25, and he's definitely like in his

30s.

Hold on.

But she's from other stuff, too.

Hold on.

I know.

She just has like a crazy ass fan base.

He's 46.

Wow.

But she's 25.

She's old enough to make her own decisions.

She's fully formed.

Yeah, no, that's just like gross.

But

they've been together.

But you have to make out with Harry Styles.

They've been together for a long time.

So like people don't question it.

And that's just like not something people are like, will let you question.

Okay, she was in Black Widow, Little Women, Midsummer, Lady Macbeth.

Like no movies I've ever seen.

So that's why.

She was in Fighting with My Family, which I've seen.

You know, that's the one about Paige from WWE.

Oh, yeah.

And how she, like, would fight with her family in a, you know, wrestling sort of way.

Was she the lead?

She, then she did great in that film.

Yeah, I just like don't know her, but she's super pretty and she's all over my TikTok just because like she has this crazy ass fan base, especially now that she's in this movie.

I'm sure like she's getting death threats for making out with Harry Styles.

But I very much intend to see this movie.

But I did see Dunkirk, and it was not good.

But I don't think that you, that wasn't about Harry for you.

Like, that was about the story of Dunkirk.

No, it was about Harry.

He wasn't good.

So you liked the movie?

No, the whole thing was bad.

And also, like, I couldn't hear anything.

It was, it was honestly like.

Okay, like, war movies are really difficult, especially those that are just, like, embroiled in battle.

And, like, Dunkirk was just like,

it was just a crazy ass excursion.

So, I mean, if you told me you were going to see Dunkirk, do you think I, do I think you would like it I would say no even though I've never even seen it okay well I'm just saying like I hope like Harry's next movie is better yeah this seems like more in line with the Harry styles you're looking to get yeah it's it's honestly giving me like Betty Draper vibes it's like this old school like 50s thing but it's also a thriller I have no idea what it's about it's apparently it's a psychological thriller oh which like sounds good it does sound good but I can't watch shit like that why because it's just too spooky and like there's like Shutter Island Shutter Island I you have to spook through.

Right, no, you have to make it through the spook.

Yeah, but don't this movie tells the story of Alice, a 1950s housewife, who was living in an experimental community with her husband, Jack.

Oh, I take it back.

Things take a turn when Alice begins to suspect that Jack and his company are hiding a secret.

Okay.

This sounds actually good.

I'm seeing this.

I take it back.

You know what it sounds like?

Did you ever watch Lost?

No.

Oh.

What's that?

They had this like community.

What was it called?

Sounds like Stepford Wives.

Oh, such a good movie.

Such a good movie.

Well, I guess a psychological thriller I could probably do.

That's like Gone Girl.

Yeah, I guess.

And like, I like books that are thrillers.

I don't like horror movies or scary movies.

That I don't watch.

No.

But a thriller keeps you on the edge of your seat, but I think I'll do it.

Okay, now it's time for Deer Toasters, which I'm so excited about because we had to skip last week because Jackie 4.

Because some people felt like we had to skip it.

And some people felt like we shouldn't have, but here we are.

Here we are in the longest episode ever.

I know, like, we really should move it to tomorrow because we don't have a lot to talk about tomorrow because there's no real houses of New York reunion on tonight.

But we made a commitment and we're doing it.

That breaks our promise of last week, which was like we didn't do it because it wasn't Tuesday.

It's Tuesday.

We're doing it.

Okay.

But do you think it's.

Dear Toasters is our advice segment.

And if you ever need advice, write to deartoas at gmail.com and we will do our best to get your quandary on air.

First up, good

morning, Jackie and Claudia.

Much love to y'all.

My sister and I are massive toasters and we've recently gotten our mother to become a toaster, too.

She says with her thick southern accent, I just love to listen to them talk.

That is so cute.

I'm struggling with the decision, and I need your help.

I'm supposed to be going on a trip to Boston to visit a friend from college in a few weeks, along with a few other people.

I'm usually chomping at the bit to get on a plane and travel, but there's a small issue.

My ex-boyfriend, we were together for six years, is one of the people going.

My ex and I have remained friends, even post-breakup, because we're in the same friend group.

So I've sucked it up when our friends were in town, hung out with him, and tried to be as normal as possible whenever we're in the same place.

He's a good guy, but he's sneaky and dishonest at times.

It's why we broke up in the first place.

He recently moved, and for many reasons that I don't have time to share, we did not end on good terms.

I've always tried to remain positive and not bad mouth him, like...

Not bad mouth him with our other friends for the sake of the group dynamic, but I'm thinking that a weekend getaway with him may be too much for me to handle.

I've already committed to the trip and would love to see my friends, but this may be too much for me.

I just feel like I'm always putting the group first and never thinking about my own health.

And if I don't go, how the heck do I explain to the group without blatantly

saying it's because of him?

Sincerely, a loyal Southern toaster that's tough and I feel like you already know what you're gonna do because you should not be putting like the sake of the group like we're adults like you have to take care of yourself it's like the army every man for himself it reminds me of Naomi and Craig and like how she stopped like going on the trips and stuff like just because like I understand like this is a group cast ensemble but I for my own personal mental health like can't be around my ex-boyfriend right now I agree that shouldn't be so confusing do what you got to do don't worry about like the group unless you like and it's funny because some people would say like I don't want to go because my boyfriend's there but I want to to go because it's going to be a good time, and I don't want to, like, jeopardize.

I don't want to, you know,

miss out and do, like, take that away from myself.

But then you're going to have a terrible time.

You're worried about what they're going to think.

No, no, no.

Stay home.

Say like the toast said you couldn't go.

And what's worse than like spending money on a trip where you don't have fun?

Like, that's the most frustrating part.

And you spend time away, like, from your family.

And for me, I'm like away from Theo.

And I'm like, I'm spending money torture myself.

So if you're not thinking in advance that you don't even think you're going to have fun, like, you definitely should not go.

And I do feel like in 2019, 2018, like, like we did stuff like that.

Like, we went on trips we didn't want to go on.

We spent money on things we didn't want to do.

And now, with just like a finite amount of trips and things that we're doing, like, make everyone count.

Oh, that's such good advice.

Okay, we have More Deer Toasters brought to you by Canva Pro.

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So honestly, if you have like a side business or you're an influencer and like you're just needing cool graphics, it's the perfect place if you don't have like tons of experience creating content.

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All right, next to your toasters.

Jackie and Claudia.

Not sure if it's the three glasses of wine talking or my period, but here it goes.

I'm getting married to an absolute P-jom in one month.

He has a close group of friends in the city we live in, most of whom have girlfriends.

Over the past few years, I haven't been that close to them.

I don't feel like they're inclusive, but also we don't really have the same interests.

I work and value my career, politics, reading, and they just want to be stay-at-home moms and talk about shopping.

Anyways, I've been getting a little closer to them, but I still feel like I'm an outsider.

I would like to do more things with these girls, but I don't really know how to approach them.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Love you both.

Literally cried when I found out Jackie was Preggie O, sincerely, a socially awkward form

FOMO toaster.

I have to say one thing, and I don't think you're going to like it, but I do think it's something that you need to hear.

And it's just in the way that I feel like you refer to these women.

So you say you don't really know them, but like all they do is like, you know, shop and like be stay-at-home moms, which is kind of condescending, I'm just going to say, but you're like into career and politics.

Like I feel like part of the reason why you're not connecting with them is like you feel like you're better than them.

And like if you do feel that way, then don't hang out with them.

But if you do want to get to know them, if you come in with this attitude, I don't think it's going to be received well by them.

And I'm just being honest.

Yeah, I would say like not everyone is as they seem.

I think a lot of people on the surface seem one way.

And then when you take the time to get to know them, are a different way.

I would also say if this is a group of like four or five women, they're all different from one another.

Just because you think you might not like one of them doesn't mean you wouldn't get along with all of them or some of them.

And I think it's not fair to loop them all.

I think you are prematurely judging them a little bit.

I think there's a lot of people who, yes, perhaps they talk more about like shopping and their kids because those are like fun things to talk about.

Doesn't mean they don't have political opinions or like interesting takes on other things or things that they're interested in that you might find interesting.

Yeah, I feel like

these people aren't that one-dimensional.

Yeah.

And I think if you, it would behoove you to become friends with your husband's friends' wives.

Like, this sounds like, you know, they have a group that's established and you kind of want to come in a little bit.

I would try and meet them, like, where they're at and then take it from there.

But most people are not exactly at one thing.

Yeah.

And also, I feel like maybe because you don't feel like they've been inclusive of you, you're like a little resentful, and that's why you're coming up with these judgments.

So I would just go in with like a fresh, clean slate.

Like, try not to think anything.

Let them show you who they are first before you come up.

And then if you don't like them, don't hang out with them.

But let them at least be given the chance to show you what they're all about.

And all of those topics are not mutually exclusive from one another.

Right.

You could like shopping and politics.

Yeah.

It's true.

And career.

What was the other thing that like they're stay-at-home moms and she's more of a career girl?

She's career, politics, and what was the other thing?

Reading.

Which is a great thing.

You know, like stay-at-home moms love to read.

You don't know that they don't read.

Like, maybe, even if there's just one reader in the group, you have Friend for Life and then you guys could join the Redheads.

Like,

it's gorgeous.

Reading, just like a book, like reading is just like a window into a whole new world.

Yeah.

And honestly, like, if you're feeling socially awkward, I think what brings, what I think will bring you peace is like everyone is.

Like, nobody knows how to act anymore after the pandemic.

So, like, if you feel weird, just know like, so does everyone else.

Yeah.

Literally, everybody is socially awkward.

Yeah.

All right.

Here's our third and final deer toasters.

Girls, boys, toasters, please help me.

It's lengthy, but for the sake of a fellow toaster sanity, please ride this wave with me.

Okay.

My boyfriend is so lazy.

I am begging him to do any housework at this point.

He stops every five seconds, and

I have to ask him to finish the task if, and that's a huge if if he even starts one.

He always just says, I just sat down, which must be nice because my ass cheeks have not seen our couch since we bought it.

Here's small examples.

If he lets the dogs out, he won't get up to let them back in.

If I do something I ask him to do.

Wait, sorry, if I do something I ask him to do after hours of waiting, he'll say, oh, big deal.

It was just X, but it's another added thing to my long list of to-dos.

When I talk to him, he sticks his tongue out at me and makes faces.

I've asked him nicely to stop and please listen to me, but he doesn't and then laughs or sings over me.

He's 30 years old.

I've talked to him, I've written notes, I've yelled, I've left, I've left the mess.

I begged, and it's always an excuse as to why he shouldn't do it and why I should.

When I get mad about it, he turns it around on me about my attitude or my tone.

He works hard at work, really shines in his career, but so do a lot of people who still clean up after themselves.

We have three kids, two step, step and his little cousin that we raised but they are mine in my eyes this matters they're married no boyfriend but so they have two stepkids and they're raising his little cousin but she sees them all as her kids okay okay and this matters because i don't want to leave my family behind because then i have no quote unquote rights And we have three dogs, so please calculate that into my added stress.

That does make a difference.

I work, just started a business, and I'm an active board member in a non-profit.

I'm at the point of going insane.

I'm a grown woman begging a man to clean up after himself.

Lastly, I've tried to hire a cleaning person before, but they would have had to come every single day to keep up with the messes he leaves.

I'm fucking desperate and I can't keep yelling into the void.

Also, love you both.

Oh my God, first of all, like when I tell you me and Ben had this fight last night, it's just like I come home, Ben works from home and I'm out of the house for a few hours.

So it's like, I wake up, I clean, you know, I walk into the bathroom, Ben left his underwear, and I hang up the towel and he leave the q-tips open.

So it's just little things.

I go into the kitchen, he left his eggs, like a little thing.

I go to the toast, I come back and it's like, it's all been undone.

And there's boxes open now because he got, you know, work for Spritz.

Like, and yesterday I hit a boiling point.

And I guess I didn't realize like all day when I was talking to him, I was just bitching at him, like, take the boxes out.

Yeah.

We need more garbage bags.

And when he got into bed, he was like, you have been such like a bitch to me all day.

And I'm like, okay, I can acknowledge that.

Like, I've definitely been nasty for sure.

But can you acknowledge that it's because like all I do is pick up after you and it's starting to eat away at me?

Yeah.

And he's like, but I'm so busy.

And I'm like, so am I.

Like Like, being busy doesn't mean you can't clean.

And I'm not asking you to shine your shoes and scrub the floors.

Just like when you finish something, like put it in the trash.

Like, it's so basic.

We literally had this argument last night.

And honestly, it's still left unresolved.

Like this morning, like, we were still not talking.

We have had this argument, too.

It's...

But I feel like Zach is like a neat freak, no?

No, that's a common misconception.

Common,

no, you're right.

When we travel together, he's not a clean freak.

No, and he's not

a helper.

No, he's not.

He's not a raise my hand.

Oh, you want me to do the dishes?

I got this.

No, and if I ask him to do the dishes, he says yes.

And then two hours later, I come out, they're still not done.

He will do the dishes between now and the time he dies.

Literally, and when I say, like, can you take the trash out?

I mean

now.

No.

Or I have to say, can you please do the dishes in the next hour?

That way, the next time I come out here, like they aren't, like, you have to put parameters.

But honestly, and I find it so infuriating.

And we've had some, I've had

a lot of fever pitch at some points where it's like, you know what it is?

It's fucking, it's insulting and it's disrespectful.

That's what I say.

Who are you leaving this?

No, that's exactly.

I literally say, first of all, you're disrespecting our home and you're disrespecting me because you're obviously not going to pick up your socks that you leave, assuming that it's going to be me.

And honestly, it offends me.

It's offensive.

It's so offensive and it's disrespectful.

And so I'm saying, like, I understand this feeling, yet what you've described is so much worse.

I agree.

Like, the way he's reacting to this, sticking out his tongue like a child, like, when before you said that you guys had, like, a family together, I was like, girl, leave this grown-ass family.

Right, right.

That's why I needed to clarify because I thought she had said boyfriend, but it's obviously you guys are

partners in life.

So if she leaves.

She's in like a six-month relationship.

They're her stepkids, so they're his biological kids.

And then the third child is a cousin of his that they're raising.

So she would have no rights.

But breaking up of a family, like, and you don't do that just because your boyfriend didn't, you know, take the dogs back.

So we have to make this work.

We have to, we do have to make this work.

And it's, it's in the communication.

It's in the communication, but no, like you seem like you seem like you've tried every avenue and like now you're coming to us.

And I think you touched on something.

One, that he's very successful in his career, which is, which is good.

We have, like, he's doing something.

Yeah.

And two, that you've tried a cleaning lady, but that, or I'm sorry, man or lady, and but that person would have to come every single day.

It's not sustainable.

He should be, if he doesn't want to do his share,

he should be paying for a housekeeper every single day.

I think that's a great compromise.

You should tell him that, and you should say, like, this will alleviate so much of the things that are coming between us, and we should try it.

No, but I know what she's saying.

Like, even if you have a housekeeper come every day, like, your husband gets home from work and he shits up the place.

Like, it...

It's such a character flaw.

And honestly, even though I think like a housekeeper would make a big difference, we're adults and like we have to learn how to clean up up after ourselves.

And I don't think that this band-aid is gonna.

I know, I know.

I just like, I it's a character file.

I like hate to like give the false hope that like people can change.

And you sometimes just have to like

where they are in their immaturity and like

I do think people can change in this sense because from it's it's not great now with Ben, but from when I first met him, it is leaps and bounds better.

Like he wouldn't even put the clothes in the hamper, like just leave them on the floor.

And I'm like, come on, this is not a barn.

That's true.

So he is still not perfect, but he has made enormous strides.

Like I would be remiss, devastated, and heartbroken if I didn't at least acknowledge how much of a difference, like he used to really like not even know how to fold a shirt.

And watching him was, I actually, I wanted to gouge my eyes out.

Now, is it a great shirt fold?

No, but he knows how to do it.

So, okay, okay, there's hope.

Improvement can be made, but this guy, It's not even so much his cleaning that's the problem.

It's his attitude.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, well, then maybe you need to find things.

What is he ever?

What are his gripes with you?

What are things that he asks you to do?

Like, you hold out on those things until he does the things that you need him to do.

Or if the couch is like his favorite place and that's where he mostly hangs out, you don't really hang out there.

Like everything that he leaves on the floor and around the house.

I love doing that.

Put it on the couch.

I love doing that.

Dirty pan on the couch.

You just like, you can't care about the couch.

Right, like ketchup.

I just want to say, I've never done that.

Oh, no, I don't do it with stuff.

I do it like if there's so much clothing on the floor, I put all of it on Ben's pillow.

Like,

like,

then he'll notice, like, finally.

Yeah, yeah.

Wait, but really quickly,

there's also one thing here.

Here's the thing.

Put the dirty pan on his pillow.

Yeah, no, but somewhere that they can't ignore it.

Like, sometimes I've actually put like Ben's sneakers, like, on his pillow.

Just like, so it's in his face.

But also, there might be one other thing at play here.

Like, she said he's successful in his job.

Like, he just might be like a chauvinist who thinks that like a woman cleans if he earns a living.

So, like, I just need more information.

Like, do you work?

Like, is that the arrangement he thinks he's in?

Interesting.

And that's why he's blowing you off?

I went to work today.

You clean the house.

I feel like she would have said that.

Yeah.

So I feel like no.

I feel like no also.

But it's just, it's worth throwing out there.

Yeah.

No.

Honestly, this is something I would write into a podcast about.

Like, I'm struggling with this.

I think solution is pan on pillow.

But then, like, you have to sleep next to that smelly pan.

I know.

Again, you're tortured.

No, and it's like my happiness constantly being sacrificed.

Fuck, you guys.

I'm sure this is like a very universal

issue.

Please share, like, in the comments or whatever

what your advice is here.

Or what the most annoying thing your boyfriend or partner does.

Because for me, like, Ben, because he walks Theo, he wears the Crocs and he leaves the Crocs out in the hallway.

And it's just like, they're just stained, like, our neighbors, what they must think of as Crocs.

Like,

Ben uses our hallway like a straightforward.

It's because Crocs or because they're in the hallway.

It's both.

The Crocs are embarrassing.

And not only are they Crocs, they're furry on the inside inside and tie-dye rainbow on the outside, okay?

But also Ben leaves his golf clubs out there.

He leaves Theo's leash out there.

He leaves bumps out there.

It's a storage unit.

It's so embarrassing.

That is bad.

So that's like my personal vendetta, like pet peeve of what Ben does.

My personal, actually,

wait, I might have the solution.

My personal thing has always been like Zach's eggy pan.

Oh my God.

Eggy pan.

He thinks if it, like, if sometimes you have to leave a dish in the sink to let it soak in the, in the soap.

Oh, by the way, do not tell them that because that Ben, Ben will literally put a fork and be like, it's soaking.

He leaves it on the stove.

So I'm saying, like, sometimes you do have to do, like, I don't know if he's airing it.

But they use that excuse that it's literally like left there for me.

It's so offensive.

But ever since I've been pregnant, you guys know I can't stand the kitchen smell.

I can't be in the kitchen.

I can't even do my own dishes because I need to get in and out of the kitchen as soon as possible.

And so in exchange for carrying his child,

he has to do all of my dishes and he's been doing them.

That's the solution.

Go off birth control.

Like, that is the solution.

Mm-hmm.

And then you can just like, and this is a real thing for me.

Like, and it's annoying.

Like, I have to leave a big mess and then I have to, you know, I can't just like, I guess I could.

No, but you know what's so frustrating?

It really grosses me out.

So he has taken that up for me.

And that's why this hasn't been an issue for a few months.

Okay, but see, the thing is, and I think this is what I fear.

It's like, okay, so let's say I get Ben to do all the chores.

Like he does them so poorly.

Like I might as well just do them myself.

Like I agree with you.

So it bothers me.

Like he makes the the bed and you, Jackie, you would die.

Like lumps, he lumps everywhere.

I don't even.

I'll just fucking do it myself.

I don't even know what it looks like for Zach to make the bed.

Oh, what his made bed looks like.

Yeah, no, I feel that.

But like, if he, like, Ben is just not even good at the chore, so it's like, okay, yeah, I want you to do it out of respect, but like, honestly, like, you do it so badly.

Like, yeah, but like, putting a dish in the dishwasher is not.

That's true.

That's true.

But he then puts the dirty knife back into the knife.

But Ben loves to do that.

I'm talking about Ben.

Yeah, if he cuts like bread or something that's not wet.

He doesn't use knives.

Yeah, right?

Just his hands.

He just uses his postmates.

He just uses his fingers to order postmates.

No, if Ben cuts something and it's not like super wet.

If Ben's a chef, if it's not super wet.

Like if it's bread, he'll put the knife back in the cutting thing.

Honestly, if it's like butter, he'll just like wipe it off.

But if it's like, you know, something really.

Like a tomato.

Yeah, no, that goes in the sink.

Yeah, but like you are, you're not supposed to wash your knives, but you are just supposed to put them.

No, you're not supposed to put them in the dishwasher.

It's bad for the knife.

That's news to me.

Right.

So he's like, but you should run it under the sink and then wipe it with a towel.

Whatever.

All I'm saying is that this is a universal problem.

And if you guys could just let us know what your solutions are, because we're both in need of help.

We are all, we all are in need of help, literally.

So that was Deer Toasters again.

If you ever want to write in, it's deartoasters at gmail.com.

And if you have an update for us and we've read one of your queries on air recently and you want to let us know how it went, also write us, deartoas at gmail.com.

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