S4 Ep121: Hubie Doobler Dubois: Friday, July 9th, 2021

Good morning, millennials.

That was just like let's start it.

Little two again, ready?

Yeah.

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome to the morning toast.

Happy.

Oh, Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

I love how you can't hit the GMM notes, but you can hit the Friday, Friday, gotta get down.

Nothing stops on a Friday.

Yeah, nothing, nothing stops on a Friday.

Can we start over?

Yeah, this episode is channel, and I literally do not speak English.

No, I guess we could keep going since you addressed this episode.

Okay, okay, so we're not gonna start over.

Okay, but we can mentally start over.

It's just like not worth the time.

We're already on a delay today.

Yeah, that's so true.

Okay, let's start

in three, two.

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Nailed it.

Nailed it.

Welcome to the morning toast.

Sorry for a little kerfuffle.

It's Friday.

You know, we're just so scattered.

We're so scattered.

You're mildly hungover.

Not the worst that we've seen.

Obviously, not the best, but you look really well.

You seem well.

How was your party?

Tell us everything.

Well, if you really want to know how my party was, head over to patreon.com slash the morning toast.

Yeah, we did wind up putting together a Patreon party blog because someone was like, after all this dress talk, like, we better get a party vlog.

And I was like, Claude, we could do that.

And there was even more dress drama, you guys.

Like, you, when you see it on the vlog, you're not gonna believe it.

So, Claudia vlogged her getting ready process, not like our makeup routine again, but like, you know, just like outfits and whatnot.

Same with me.

And then we did a little vlog from the party.

So, that should be up later today.

I hope you guys will enjoy that.

But, give everyone a little sneak peek.

How did you have fun?

Was it everything you wanted to be and more?

Do you feel like you're ushering in your birthday weekend 27s looking better than ever?

Yeah, you know, I'm actually glad I got the celebration, like, turn-up turn-up part kind of out of the way.

Cause now when I'm hungover, like the thought of drinking makes me want to die.

So I'm really looking forward to having like a really relaxing weekend.

Nice.

That's so low-key of you.

No, I'm not like other girls.

This is what I've been trying to tell you.

I'm not.

Yeah.

So I'm just going to chill, you know, maybe get a massage

for my birthday.

But I had a really good time last night.

Honestly, I looked

drop dead gorgeous.

Like, and there was so much drama you'll see in the Patreon.

Like, but I literally left left my house, and my doormen were like quaking.

Were they like, who is she?

I didn't see this woman come in the building.

Yeah, who was this?

Intruder, intruder, literally, and I looked absolutely gorgeous and haven't looked gorgeous in a while, you know?

Yeah, you know, I kind of feel the same way.

Like, I tried a new eyeshadow moment because I was watching, like, Kim tutorial.

It just came up on IG TV before I got ready.

And so I was like, I'll give this a stab.

And it kind of was really awesome.

So I felt like everyone was like feeling my look.

Everyone loved my choker.

Like, it was just, I felt pretty cool.

Yeah, and it's nice to like the way you look.

Yeah.

Like, when you hate yourself as much as I do, it's nice to change a pace.

Yeah, these moments are fickle and fleeting.

I know, and of course, I didn't get like one good photo of myself.

Like, so annoying.

I have this blurry photo shoot of me like in the bathroom.

Like, that's it.

Um, but that's how you know the night was good.

Yeah, no, it was, and it was so good to see everyone, you know, people we haven't seen since before the pandemic.

Yeah.

Um, I had a great time.

I'm like not remembering anything.

I did start to like black out towards the end of the night.

So my head is killing me.

I'm so sorry that you feel that way, but I hope that it was worth it.

It was.

And I just want to make an apology.

I meant to do this.

If I saw you last night at Paul's Casablanca and I shoved you, I just want to apologize.

It really wasn't a shove.

It was the part of the night when I couldn't stand anymore.

And so like on my way out, there was just like a couple of gals who I did shove out of the way.

So how many, how many people are we apologizing to?

Multiple.

I don't know the exact number, but if you saw me at Paul's Casablanca last night no you didn't okay i think that's appreciated yeah no because i really wasn't shoving i just could not stand and like she was in my way you were falling yeah no it was i was the leaning tower of gwen g like

yeah i understand things happen yeah and i just i don't want to be known as a shover you know i'd rather be known as a girl who couldn't stand which is the truth i think i'd rather be known as a shover

no i wouldn't

well

We're just so different.

We're so different.

We're not like other girls.

We're not like each other.

I was going to say that.

That's so.

What are the odds?

There's only so many things we say here.

Yeah, it's like one of five things.

Truly.

Well, I'm so glad you had so much fun.

I'm so glad.

Did you have fun?

I did have fun because for me, it was so nice to be amongst friends and family, everyone chatting, hanging, drank and looking good.

And it was a great soarade.

Also, as you'll see, and you probably already saw, like, there was all these videos of the toast up on all the screens and like the CMA awards.

And like, I was genuinely enjoying just watching it.

I was, I was wishing we could get some volume.

Yeah, or like captions or something.

Yeah, Yeah, no, because it was just like so fun to watch.

Yeah, the event space had all these monitors.

He's like, do you want to put something on?

I'm like, yeah, the toast.

I wish I had a music video and I would make that play on repeat, but I never did one for toast and I really should have.

You should have.

But you live and learn.

You'll do it for the next song.

You'll do it for your ballad called RDH.

Cause I'm RDH.

I don't know how it would go.

No, it would be like so emotional.

Like

Titanic.

RDH, Shadi H.

Like Titanic.

yeah, like, no, like,

every night in my dreams.

I see you,

I feel

you.

That is how I know you.

RTH.

I actually saw a comment yesterday.

Someone's like, what is RTH?

They always say it, but they never say what it means.

It means remiss, devastated, and heartbroken.

It's just like a condensed version of how we feel when we don't let you know who today's episode is brought to you by, which is a great segue into letting you know it's brought to to you by patreon.com slash the morning toast, where you can always get premium content of your girls behind the scenes footage, podcast episodes, videos, moments that you just wouldn't get on the toast.

And you just get so much there at patreon.com slash the morning toast.

And there's so much

footage from the past three years that we've done like so many funny vlogs, chili cook off, drunk get ready with us that like if you sign up for the Patreon today, you'll be watching all weekend long.

Chili cook-off.

Chili cook-off was such good times.

Oh my my god, hope everyone is doing okay in this storm.

Like the footage coming out of the subway stations in this town is disgraceful.

Yeah.

It is so disgraceful.

And like it was so crazy.

Even though, like, I didn't even see any rain, like, low-key.

Right, because you don't have windows in a bunker.

But the rest of us did.

Also, there was like a major flood on the Maj Dijon yesterday.

And like, 14 cars.

The Maj Dijon.

14 cars got stuck, like, underwater.

But the NYPD, like, they put up like a truck barricade and they got everyone out.

So it was

it's all good on the Maj, but I was like, damn.

Not the Maj.

Not the Maj.

Leave the Subway.

Leave the Majean.

Wait, the Mahjan?

I was actually telling you.

I was talking with someone yesterday about like the flooding and the inclement weather in New York and I was like, and did you see the the major degan?

Yeah.

It's not the major degan.

That's it.

No, I know, but it's truly the maje de jaune.

Like

I'm not even saying it to like'cause that's like the joke.

Like when I read it, I see maj dijon.

By the way, I do too though, even though I knew that it was major degan.

And then, like, when you told me that story, it forever became the Maj de Jane.

So, if you ever find yourself in New York heading up the FDR, hitting the Maj Dijon, make sure to take a picture for us.

Yes.

Oh, I love when you guys send me the Maj.

You know what you should do?

Like,

if you ever, if you have like an upcoming photo shoot, like for a project or like whatever, I don't know why you would be doing a photo shoot.

You gotta do it on the Maj Dijon.

Yeah.

You need to like Jersey Turnpike on the Mage Dijon.

That would be iconic.

Iconic.

Okay, I'll look into it.

Interstate.

Wait.

Sorry.

Ignore me.

Okay, cool.

Do you want to get into everything I mean you talk about?

I mean, I literally have nothing else to do.

Okay, because also I want to talk about Siesta Key because I caught up last night and I have so many thoughts and feelings.

I actually was thinking about it all day yesterday because obviously it was the episode.

I heard it was crazy.

Juliet, spoiler, Juliet slapped Kelsey and like she banished from the island and she doesn't look like she's in next episode either.

Like I don't know what they're going to do about her.

And I'm just really disappointed in her because like Juliet is my number one on the show and like she just, the thing about Juliet is like when she's the underdog you just like you root for her and she like all of a sudden starts like making good choices and like being a great person and then when she's at on top she doesn't know how to be on top without letting everything crumble you want to be on top

so I'm just and I'm sure she was really disappointed in herself too and I'm sure

I'm sure she doesn't need to hear it from me but also just the role that alcohol plays on the show like Juliet was so drunk and like everyone's just talking about like Juliet's behavior like Juliet's anger issues blah blah blah and it's like if Juliet wasn't drinking like that she wouldn't have slapped anyone.

So, everyone, like, also needs to calm down with their drinking.

Sorry,

I know that's not fun to say.

No, it's not, especially if you're a hungover person.

It's not fun.

I know that it's not fun, but you didn't, you don't get super drunk and hit people.

No, that's inappropriate.

I've never done that.

And if you did, I would say

reasoning behind that slap.

Oh, because like they were really egging.

Sorry, I don't want to say, well,

okay.

Juliet

Juliet was very drunk.

She went up to the bar and started

flirting, but like talking very

excitedly towards Max, Kelsey's boyfriend, because I think Juliet still harbors all this resentment because Kelsey went to Sam.

Although Juliette and Kelsey are not friends right now, but Juliet goes to the bar and is like laughing hysterically.

I don't think she was like, I don't think she's into Max at all.

I think she just wanted

Kelsey to feel one iota of what she's felt from Kelsey.

Then Kelsey comes up and is like, stop talking to my boyfriend.

You're in love with him.

And Juliet's like holding two drinks and Kelsey's like, throw them, throw them.

And of course, like Juliet walks right into the trap, throws them.

Trashy, horrible, whatever.

Then they start fighting again.

Kelsey's like saying all this stuff and Juliet

literally dragged me, Monique.

Yeah.

No, that's literally what it felt like.

But it was just so,

it's just not how you act.

And so this island

kicked her off.

Production.

Oh, for real?

Yeah.

And I also feel like it must be really hard to be a reality TV star because the crazier you act, the better you are at your job.

You get rewarded for negative not even rewarded, but it's like if you really wanted to like work on yourself, stop drinking a little bit, like not get so involved in drama, like you're bad, you're being bad at your job.

You're not interested.

Right.

And a reality place is not the place to do that.

So you can always justify your bad behavior when you're a reality show by saying, I'm doing my job.

For the show.

And I think that's a really hard cycle.

And I think you get to a point where it's like, you need to prioritize like the things in your life that are actually important versus the show.

And like her relationship with Sam is is important.

Generally, like usually very good and solid.

They're still together.

So they obviously, and they've been together for a while.

I think that they have a really great relationship.

And like, that should be her focus and her brand, not like being as crazy as she can possibly be for the show.

Like, you know what?

Let it be someone else's turn.

There are plenty of girls in there who are thirsty enough to do what it takes to become a mainstay on the show.

Like, you can sit back.

Like, not, you don't have to.

Isn't that what Chloe Troutman did?

Like, she really did want to do it.

She's going to drive next week.

She does.

She's back next week, knocking on Amanda's door.

Oh my God, they just made such a big drama.

I think because Juliet wasn't filming, they were like, we can't have two of the biggest castmates out going back.

Anyways, it was just really disappointing.

I'm sure Juliet will

come back from it, but

it was just, I don't know, it just really bothered me.

That's

it.

I heard it was a crazy episode.

Like, everyone was talking about it.

Yeah.

And I guess that's the CS key recap.

Yeah.

I haven't watched Love Island since the first episode, but I am going to catch up and we'll recap sometime next week.

Yeah.

Sounds good.

But I do think now, without further ado,

since we like move stuff around, it's time for the past five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

This episode is just feeling so chaotic, you know?

I mean, it's a crazy day.

I literally can't even speak English.

It's later in the day.

Like, I did the TV recap first.

Like, it's just

everything's going

to haywire.

Haywire.

Are you ready for our first story?

It's actually kind of exciting news, I think.

I found it to be.

What is it?

The Bachelor in Paradise cast has been revealed to the 19 franchise alums kicking off season seven.

What I liked so far is that I knew most of the people from seasons I've watched because I'm not watching Katie's.

I knew most of the people as well, but also there will be more Katie guys.

They just have to be eliminated from the show.

Okay, so here are our contestants.

All that matters is Kelsey

is on.

Yes.

Abigail Harringer from Matt James' season is on.

Brendan from Clarence's season.

He was like number three.

Deandra Canu from Peter Weber's season.

There's a lot of Peter.

Well, because they were supposed to be on last year, so we have like double the amount of eligible people.

Yet somehow grocery store Joe is back again.

But they love that.

And I think the fans like that too.

Like someone, not just like a first-timer, like someone who clearly wants to be in a relationship, is beloved in the franchise.

I'm actually surprised there's not more of those.

There should be.

Oh, Kendall might be there too.

Kendall might be there too.

That to me is too chaotic.

Honestly, like, I know we've all moved on, but to me, she'll always be the girl who taxidermies.

Oh,

interesting.

The world may have moved on and forgotten, but I never forget.

Because you want to know why?

Elephants never forget.

Ivan from Clarentatia's season.

Jacenia from Matt's season.

Oh, my God.

She was chaotic.

Chaotic.

Literally looking forward to her energy.

Same.

Grocery store Joe.

He's like the only one who's like more than two seasons old.

Carl from Katie's season.

Which season was he on?

Becca Kufrin.

Oh, that's not that long ago.

Carl from Katie's season.

Don't know him.

Looking forward to getting to know him.

Kelsey from Peter's season.

Obsessed.

Obsessed.

Actually, she posted this photo on her Instagram, and I was like, that looks like a Bachelor in Paradise photo, but she's also like in St.

Thomas with Victoria and Kelly.

And I'm like, how is she doing both of those things?

Yeah.

Confusing.

I'm confused.

Kenny from Clarence's season.

Oh, he was the boy band manager.

Oh,

Mari from Matt James' season.

I liked her.

I liked her too.

She was slept on.

She was slept on.

I agree.

Marissa from Peter's season.

Literally, never seen her in my life.

Oh, Natasha from Peter's season.

So fabulous.

Can't wait to see her again.

She got like no respect from the franchise at all.

Noah from Tayshia's season, who was like the young one who was like villainous.

Noah versus Bennett.

Yeah, I liked him.

I thought he was cute.

I thought so too.

I think he'll do well in the front.

And I actually think he probably just got a weird edit.

Yeah.

And he's probably like a nice guy.

Yeah.

Serena from Matt's season.

There were two Serena's, right?

Yeah, Serena C.

Sorry.

Serena C was the worst one.

The worst one.

Well, Serena P is also there.

Serena P was lovely, should have won, like literally taken the whole season home with you.

The other Serena was like literally the bully who like got away with it.

I literally, I like, I'm still, I'm still angry about that.

I know, same, but I just feel like perhaps that energy is right for Bachelor in Paradise.

Yeah, and Bachelor in Paradise really does give

people a whole new lease on life.

Like we see you totally differently.

Yeah.

Villains go to become unvillainized and heroes come to die.

Like paradise can really shift things around.

Yep.

Tajuan from Colton's season.

Oh, that's our first Colton's girl, right?

Oh, yeah.

Tammy from Peter's season.

Oh,

remember Tammy.

Who could forget?

Who could forget?

Queen Victoria from Matt's season, looking very different.

Blonde hair.

I at first did not recognize her.

I liked her.

Like, obviously not her behavior but i'm kind of like looking forward to her presence i love people who have no self-awareness like that's the greatest television victoria from peter season was she victoria p victoria p yeah she was like the she got

like

exposed like for being a bully like right before her time ended like yeah

her time was up like so quick i thought she was gonna be final four and like just one day it just all turned for her but she's friends with all the girls so i'm sure she's fine yeah um so that's the whole cast there's definitely more girls than guys because the guys who are coming are probably from katie's season yeah um i like paradise i'm definitely still gonna watch it yeah same i am like is this david spade

this is the crew david spade little john titus titus does help but i'm really not looking forward to

like just give me an ariel vandenberg you know like you need a

In shows that are so chaotic, like you need a Ryan Devlin.

Like you need an anchor.

And i just think having like hasbins on is not gonna help no i don't think so either it'll be interesting to watch bachelor in paradise now that we've just watched too hot to handle we're watching love island you love are you the one like to see how it stacks up against these shows that it's like trying to be yeah i think it's actually very well done well there's one fatal flaw with the show which is that it rewards the couples that are the most solid, therefore the most boring.

And there's only so many slots for people who are single and interesting and trying to make make a connection.

And the further you go, it literally gets like one slot left.

Right.

And then all of these people who have already left might have hit it off with these people who are coming in.

And there's just not, I think, at a certain point, if you hit like six weeks with the same person, six matchup ceremonies or row ceremonies, you guys.

You should go to a fantasy suite.

A honeymoon suite.

I agree because you are boring.

And then also that would switch things up because some people probably wouldn't want to go.

So they would like, is it like, do I really love this person?

Do I want to stay on TV?

That's actually a really good call.

They should reformulate it.

Free idea.

Free idea.

Free million-dollar idea.

Yeah.

Yeah, because it gets boring when it's like just happy couples.

And then we're focused on like one love triangle between like Dean, Christina.

When we can be focused on like 18 love triangles.

Yeah, that's actually really very

well thought out.

Thank you.

I've been thinking about it for a long time, this issue, and I just came up with the solution.

I love to see ideas being made.

Thank you so much.

Okay, next story.

A little more love news, but not really.

Chelsea Handler explains why her crush on Andrew Cuomo is over.

Okay, this is.

I think this is that's the most relatable headline.

Everyone's crush on Andrew Cuomo has been over for a while, but they were actually like talking during the pandemic.

You know what?

I just want to say, I can actually see, but

before he came out as the disgrace that he is, I could actually see them as a couple.

I guess I could...

see it too.

Similar energy.

I think Chelsea's from New Jersey.

Like, I think there could have been something there.

Yeah, the comedian revealed she had a change of heart in her feelings for for the New York governor after multiple women came forward to accuse him of sexual misconduct.

She said, I found out all the stuff we found out about him, and I thought, well, I guess this isn't a guy that, this is a guy that doesn't like it offered up.

So my crush with him is, yes, O-V-E-R.

She had recalled that she offered herself up to Andrew Cuomo.

She said, in the pandemic, I was very turned on by his morning news conferences, as many of us were.

Handler claimed that he subsequently reached out to her, leading to a couple of conversations between them.

And after saying, she said he was metaphorically feeling himself on the phone, she joked that he could have literally been feeling himself.

Oh my God.

But then she said she was preparing to film her special evolution on the East Coast at the time of her correspondence with Cuomo and thought they could meet up for a drink while she was in town.

However, that never happened.

She said he blew her off.

Oh my God, the more I learn about Andrew Cuomo, the less I like him.

And he said on The View in October that while he's a big fan of Chelsea Handler, he only dates, quote, New York residents.

That's like

a

cool about being governor.

Of everything about him, like, that's not even that weird.

But, like, it really is, I think this is very emblematic of how a lot of people, their journey with

Cuomo, evolved over the course of the years.

So that if he works for, like, everyone was Comosexual, and now, like,

what's the opposite of that?

That's us.

No, no Cuomosexual.

No, no.

Nomosexual.

No, Mo, Cuomo.

No, Mo, Cuomo Mo.

Honestly.

Cuomo, no, Mo, Cuomo, no.

I'm so excited.

This Maywo race is really heating.

Oh, wait, he's the governor.

He's the governor.

Forever?

No, no.

No,

of course not.

Yeah, that was a dumb question.

I just sometimes forget that Governor Cuomo is not married.

And I don't know what book it's written, The Unwritten Rule.

Like, as a politician, you are supposed to be married.

So every time I remember that he's not, like, the story, it's just like, oh, yeah.

It's kind of odd, even though there's literally nothing wrong with it.

It's just bizarre.

It's especially odd now knowing what we know that, you know, because he's a creep.

Yeah, right, right, right.

So the whole thing just like doesn't look good.

No, not at all.

But you have to remember then, there was like the Sandra Lee.

Who could forget?

Okay, cool.

The Sandra Lee of it all.

Yeah.

I think about that all the time.

Yeah.

For those who don't know, Sandra Lee from the Food Network was married to Governor Commerce.

Like, no, they were, I think, I don't think they were.

Like, they were domestic partnership.

But, yeah, like partners, like, you know.

Yeah.

Also, I was just reading this article.

Sandra Lee's on this like fitness journey.

She's like five pounds away from her goal weight.

I'm so happy for her.

I'm so happy for her.

We love to see a fitness journey.

No, and she's like,

they are.

And she said she feels like the best she's ever felt.

That's really nice to see.

I just love her.

I just need her to get back to work, start making more some cooking shows.

Semi-homemade, like now that I sometimes cook, like I have so much appreciation for semi-homemade.

No, it's stunning.

And her whole aesthetic was just so rich, like governor's wife.

And it was just like, it was.

But that was on her aesthetic.

I feel like when her show was actually on, she wasn't even dating.

I feel like she was.

Okay.

No, her aesthetic.

Excuse me, Decentrale live in New York?

No, I think she just moved out.

That is such a slap in the face.

That's like a sign of the times.

Oh my God.

Sandra Lee, like, I just want to live where she lives.

I want her to make me like cookies.

Yeah, I'm sure they're good, but I'm sure they're just like the slice and bake you can make.

Yeah, because she's semi-homemade.

Yeah.

It's a great concept for a show.

Great concept.

I just really, I feel like we've said this before.

I needed Food Networks to return to their old programming.

We've said this.

But I feel like Discovery Plus, like, you can get all that old programming.

I have like a thing.

Like, I will not sign up for Discovery Plus.

I'm like annoyed by it.

You're only punishing yourself by not.

That might be true.

There's so much there for you.

I wouldn't have to do it if just they played some normal cooking shows on the food network and not cry guys grocery games every fucking day.

Like, it's all guys groceries games and diners, drivings and dives, which is good.

But I'm just like, could we get I'll take Giata.

Like, I'll take anyone.

Yeah.

It used to be like Emeril,

Rachel Ray,

at home with Bobby Flay.

Like, there was all this shit.

Like, yeah.

Would you take Bobby Flay?

No.

No, that's where you draw the line.

What is our joke about Bobby Flay?

I'm just like having a break.

He's always going toe-to-toe with everyone.

And it's like nobody asked him.

And he has this complex where he needs to be the best at everything.

But it's like, why can't everyone have their own thing?

And the show is 100% rigged now.

I remember.

Oh, yeah.

And he's just like...

You can't be the best.

You can be a really, really, really good world-round Jeff, but you're not going to be the best at making every cuisine.

Right, and every dish, and like leave some space for the rest of us.

And like, why do you have to go to these people's hometowns?

He's gatekeeping.

He is gatekeeping, like, cuisines.

No, but why do you go to these people's hometowns?

Attack them.

Set them up with a false premise for a show that they're doing.

You're studying their recipe, and they don't even know they're competing against you.

Like,

it's an ambush.

It's an ambush.

It's an ambush.

He is gatekeeping, like, the chef industry.

And I ate at a Bobby Fly steakhouse once, and I did not feel safe.

Yeah, so I just feel like it's just all wrong.

Like there's enough space for all of us, Bobby.

Lay off, Bobby.

He knows.

He's been really quiet since that episode.

Yeah.

I haven't.

Are you ready for our next story?

It's a little Hillary Baldwin news.

Hillary Baldwin.

Yeah, she's got nerve again with this caption.

Hillary Hilario.

No.

Hillary.

Hillary Baldwin claims her culture is fluid seven months after her heritage controversy.

We'll read it.

I just am annoyed how much of an advantage she's

no, how much she's taking advantage of the English language, okay?

Your background

cannot be fluid.

You are from where you're from, and you're not from where you're not from, and Hillary is not from Spain.

Yeah, but in an Instagram post on Thursday, the yogurt instructor and wife of Alec Baldwin said she recently reunited with her side of the family for the first time in almost two years due to the pandemic, and that they discussed, quote, how we grew up, our languages, our cultures, multi and very valid.

Quote, when you are multi, it can feel hard to belong.

You are constantly going back and forth, trying to be more this or more that.

You feel you have to explain why you are the way you are, trying to fit into a world of labels where there might not be one that perfectly defines you.

You will never quite fit in because the other parts of you shape and influence all your parts.

What?

You remember how it was a big scandal that came out when we found out that Caroline Calloway had the ghostwriter who was writing all of her Instagram captions.

I think that girl is working for Hillary.

Natalie?

Yeah.

Or someone of Latin descent is working for Hillary.

What the hell is she talking about?

I have no idea, but it's really crazy.

She's gaslighting the shit out of it.

That in everything, it's like she's really still not like...

backing down off of this you know no she refuses to admit that she's literally lying yeah no she just like they keep just throwing like so much verbiage at us so that we get so so bored and we're like, oh, forget it.

You know?

No, I just think as a society, we cannot let up.

No.

Because Hillary Baldwin pretending to be Spanish will forever be the weirdest thing anyone's ever done.

And I really don't want us to get past it, you know, because news cycles shift, people move on with their lives.

But I think as a society, we should make a true commitment to not let us forget.

Never forget.

Never forget.

I agree.

And I feel like most people are very much in that boat because this was a story that like took everyone by storm.

Yeah, of course.

No, and like for me, I really couldn't help but wonder in the words of Carrie Bradshaw.

I couldn't help but wonder.

Like, was Alec Baldwin a part of this farce or up until a year ago, did he think he married a Spanish woman?

I think it's the latter.

That's a really good question.

I know.

I think it's the former.

You think he's in on the farce?

I think he like knows where she comes from and like also realized she was misrepresenting herself, but like was like, go do your thing.

No, I think that like he was hondled.

And you so you think when it came out, you think they were like fighting in their house?

No, I think that he's like such a narcissist that like he thinks the media, this is like the media lying on his family and he actually thinks that she's Spanish.

Like I'm dead fucking seriously.

Oh, okay, maybe that.

Either way, whatever they believe, they believe it together.

There's no

and that's why they're successful.

Like they are a track.

That's a hipster.

Great marriage.

They are unified fronts.

Yeah, they really are.

I agree with that, but I just don't know what it is they believe.

So please just make a commitment to yourself when you do your morning affirmations.

Remind yourself, Hillary Baldwin lied about being Spanish and is literally gaslighting us on Instagram into like

rethinking that she's Spanish.

And it's important that we remember, first of all, that she's not Spanish.

And second of all, that she did that.

Like she acted like a full other culture for her entire life in the public sphere.

And it's really kind of lame and embarrassing.

And she should be so mortified.

You know, she should shame on her house.

She brought shame on her family.

Yeah.

Who's not from Spain, by the way?

I don't know if I mentioned that.

No, no, no.

Oh, no.

No, they're not.

Are you ready for our next story, which is a little follow-up from news this week that I found to be quite interesting?

Suez.

No, unfortunately, not that interesting.

Shit, everything's all cleared up in Suez.

What are we going to talk about?

I don't know.

I'm going to have to send like another big ship there and like just like turn it sideways

around the push.

No, but Kanye helped Kim with her upcoming KKW Beauty rebrand.

This is really interesting.

They might be exes, but they're still partners in business.

After Kim announced earlier this week that her KKW Beauty website would be shutting down in August for a rebrand, many fans speculated it was because she plans to drop the W from the company's name in light of her pending divorce from Kanye.

But a source close to the Kardashians and the beauty company told PageSix Style that that's not the case at all.

In fact, West helped his estranged wife with the rebrand.

Quote, fun little fact, Kanye helped come up with the new.

name.

Kim's decision to rebrand.

So there is a new name.

Yes, sir.

But Kim's decision to rebrand has nothing to do with dropping the W in kkw since she has not changed her legal name and still goes by west it has been in the works for a while and kindly actually helped kim to come up with a new brand name okay so we're getting a confirmed brand change name um but i have wondered about the west i always thought it was really interesting that she like when you're a public person usually don't change your name yeah not in such a public way and like put it on all your branding but i really know her as kkw like we don't call her kim kardashi like she's kim kardashi in west yeah and so i think the way that her brand became KKW is so crazy.

And like, are we going to go back to that?

I don't know.

I don't know either.

So now I'm like, maybe it's not Kim Kardashian Beauty.

Maybe it's just like

maybe the rebrand is to make it so that like it's more than just makeup because obviously she has her fragrances and like she definitely has too many verticals and she needs to put them all together.

Yeah.

But I don't know what the name is going to be.

But it makes me happy to know they're still partners in business.

And yeah, I have to imagine that they're getting along well.

I hope so.

Because Kim is not like a a mean or spiteful person.

She's actually very calm and lovely.

And Kanye is like very in his own world.

So I actually could see them co-parenting and being on good terms.

But because they have so many kids together, and so it probably requires a lot of communication and coordination to make sure everyone's getting time with the kids.

Yeah.

And are the kids going to be like

bi-coastal?

You know, like Idaho?

You mean Wyoming?

They would just be like...

Yeah, I don't know what the right word is because it's it's not bicoastal, but like LA to Idaho.

Why do I keep playing it Idaho?

I don't know.

Gotta check out Idaho.

Are we ready for our next story, which is a little more kid news?

The kids are out of control.

The kids are out of control, but yesterday was Penelope Disick's birthday, and I just feel like it took up my entire.

Like everyone was talking about P's birthday.

I felt like I got to learn so much about P from everybody's captions.

Best post, hands down, Nora's black book.

If you want to read the caption, it was so fucking funny.

It was so fucking funny.

Even Chloe commented.

Did she?

Yeah, she said these captions are hilarious.

It was so good.

It was so good.

I just feel like, one, everybody loves Pea.

I mean, of course, everybody loves the kids, but like the fact that everyone was posting for this camper's birthday.

And she's like so stunning for a child.

Like, she's striking.

I know.

And I feel like she really, like, as much as we know, like, North's personality from, like, Norrie, I feel like P has her own personality.

For sure.

I mean, her mom is Courtney, so.

Yeah, I just feel like she's like, cool, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think it's so cool that they're like so many of the cousins have cousins like similar ages and they're going to like best friends for life.

Yes, and Travis Barker gifted Courtney's daughter Penelope drums for her birthday.

Oh my God.

I saw that picture, but I didn't realize that's from Travis.

Oh my God.

I'm like literally going to cry.

That's so fucking cute.

It's so beautiful.

I had seen it.

I'm like, oh, she plays drums.

I did not know that it was a gift from Travis.

That means they're really good drums.

Like the best of the best.

Oh, for sure.

And then she's the best teacher in the world.

Oh, my God.

Imagine she grows grows up to be a drummer and she's like, I just

want to let you know: like, if Travis Barker and Courtney Kardashian don't like get married or just end up together, like, I will deadass be so annoyed.

Annoyed?

I honestly, like, heartbroken because

this just seems like everything.

This is perfect.

This is like, yeah, this story that you just selected that I didn't even know about, like, this is what life is all about.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Kids, family, music.

The music.

Okay.

He gave her the gift of music.

And that

is priceless.

Yeah.

Even though that's the biggest fucking drum set I've ever seen in my life, it probably costs like $100,000.

Yeah, and it's pink and

big and so fucking cute.

It's like and it has her name on the front.

It's such a cute gift.

And

I just hope she said thank you because that's like so thoughtful.

I could cry.

Yeah, really, really sweet.

And Travis and Courtney are going so strong, like stronger than ever.

Every day, it's like a new outing, a new look.

Yeah, what?

Do they ever just sit on the couch?

They're always doing stuff.

I know.

Well, I guess there's so many kids between them.

They've got to keep the campers occupied.

Yeah.

But like, don't they ever just want to like lay in bed and watch a movie?

Yeah.

I'm sure they do.

I hope so.

They probably watch Blended and they get inspired.

You

first of all, I've never seen that movie.

It's so good.

You love that movie.

It's so good because like you think it would just be like stupid Adam Sandler movie, whatever, but it has so much heart and it's so, so good.

If you've never seen Blended, Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, it's so, it's so good.

And if you're thinking about blending a family or you're in the

tutorial, or you're in the middle of blending one, they actually really don't become blended till like the end, which is rough.

It's probably, it's more like almost blended.

On the way to being blended.

Yeah, but it's a really, really cute movie.

It's just like so much better than you would think it is.

I think you actually just nailed like the Adam Sandler genre.

It's like dumb Adam Sandler movie, but like that have a lot of heart.

Like Big Daddy, dumb movie had so much heart.

No, but I feel like as we get further into the click.

As we get further into the future, the movies get dumber and dumber.

So to have a sort of contemporary movie that's not that dumb.

You mean his most recent work has been really bad.

Yeah, I agree.

But he's just in it for the money now.

Yeah, yeah.

And I respect it.

Dewey Doobler's Halloween.

What was that one?

Hoobie Doobler?

Hoobie Halloween.

I don't know, but I remember I recapped it on the show because the end had a twist.

I don't remember if I thought there was heart or it was heartless.

Because I remember the twist at the end, but I just, just can't remember what I thought.

What was the twist?

Spoil it.

I'm never gonna watch this movie.

Okay, so the movie takes place in Salem, Halloween.

Actually, should I watch it?

No, I'm never gonna watch it.

Everything is like so spooky, and then like and Doobie Doobler is like the town loser, always has been,

always will be.

What's his name?

I'm gonna find Doobie Doobler.

His name is literally like Hoobie Boobler.

Hoobie's Halloween.

Hoobie Hoobli.

Who?

Okay.

It is called

Hoobie Halloween.

Yeah.

What is Hoobie's name?

Hubie's name is Hoobie.

Okay, guys, I'm literally not even fucking with you.

His name in the movie, it's like Hoobie Hoobly.

Is Hoobie?

Hold on, hold on.

Hubie D U and then dot dot dot, but I need to get.

I think it's safe to say it's Hoobie Dubi.

Okay, hold on.

No, I'm getting so close.

I'm getting to IFDB.

Some people are like, definitely shuffle.

Hubie Dubois.

French.

Wait.

Wait.

It's Du Bois.

Dubois.

Dubois.

Yeah.

D-U-B-O-I-S.

Oh, Du Bois.

Du Bois.

No, but it's Hubi Dubois.

That actually does sound right.

Okay.

Huby Duis.

Okay.

Is

Hubie Dubois a play on words of Heather Dubrow?

Perhaps.

Okay.

So, yeah, Hubi is a loser.

Biggest loser, always has been, always will be.

Growing up, they used to pull pranks on him, and he's like obsessed with Halloween.

And then even, and he's like really gullible, too.

And like every Halloween, they just like get him with the pranks because, like, he's like a Halloween file, and he just is always going with the flow.

And, like, the town, like, this, you know, it's like the bullies from high school are still living there, and he lives with his mom, and he's just like really fucking pathetic, honestly.

Even like the kids, and now he's like, obviously, grown, Adam Tandler's what, 50?

Like, the kids in the town like make fun of him and like throw shit at him.

I think it's like really bad.

I just want to say, I'm never watching this movie.

I didn't know that it was a sad movie.

No, it's like really fucking tragic.

So, someone out there is like

pressed that they're treating Hoobie like this.

As they should be.

And so on Halloween night in Salem, Massachusetts, extremely spooky.

Like a couple people start disappearing.

And it's like, where are they going?

And somebody's basically doing this for justice for Hoobie.

Justice for Hoobie, literally.

And there's all these like different forces throughout the movie.

And you're like, could it be this person?

Could it be that person?

Is it just magic spooky?

Like, we're in Salem, things happen.

Is it the ghost of witches past?

It's his mom.

At the end of the day, it's his mom.

She has all of like, oh my God, I just guessed that.

She has lifelong torturers like hung in her backyard.

Love that.

Alive.

They're just like.

As a good mother should.

And she's like, I think, ready to kill them all.

And she doesn't.

And I guess she gets arrested.

And I just don't know how I felt about the ending.

I just remember I felt strongly, but I can't remember my take on it.

I just want to say.

Your reenaction was riveting.

Like, I don't need to see the movie.

I just saw it through your eyes.

And I knew it was the mom because I'm smart and honest.

And because I told you like six months ago and you maybe remember no you want to know how I knew you literally didn't mention any other characters so you're like you want to know who it was I'm like the mom like that's the only other character you mentioned yeah yeah yeah like there was no you know principal like there was not a crossing guard like there was no other characters you mentioned so it had to be the mom well there actually like were no that you mentioned that I mentioned right of course I tried to say evil forces you know like

hoobie de bois so that's the latest Adam Sandler movie I would have never watched it but Zach made me yeah no and sometimes like it's nice to get into the Halloween spirit even though I don't know why people still make Halloween movies after Halloween Town, because that's just never going to be beat.

Yeah.

Did you like that movie?

Is that the one with the bowl?

No, that's Hocus Focus.

All right.

Halloween Town, that's like Disney D-com.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's that girl, you know, that, like, she's got that face.

Is she from Quince?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, she was from the Disney Channel original movie.

Quince, which is about five babies.

Her mom,

she's like a kid, and her mom had Quintuplets, right yeah quints and it's just like it's torture you know yeah and of course her name is marnie in halloween town but in quince she finds a way to make this like medical marvel all about herself you know yeah no totally that's so crazy now i'm on her imdb she has a really punchable face yeah i i'm like not so crazy about halloween movies like sorry by the way meaning but i like halloween love but i love a christmas film of course yeah you can't just like stand all hallowed what is the best christmas film not hallmark oh like ones that we're really sorry So that really opens up the floodgate.

It's Elf, right?

Probably objectively, yes.

Let's look at a list of Christmas movies.

The one where Vince Vaughan plays Santa,

Fred Cloth.

It's like he's Santa's, like, dumb younger brother.

Oh, that sounds good.

I think that's the premise, and I think that's the movie.

That's who plays Fred.

He's also, like, Four Christmases is pretty cute with him and Rhys Witherspoon.

I don't think I've seen that one.

Oh, they're like each have divorced parents, so they have to go to four different places for Christmas.

Also, the holiday.

Is that?

Oh, that's good.

Christmas.

That is a holiday movie.

But also, the one with Kristen Chenoweth, where they want to see the lights from out of space.

You know,

with Danny DeVito and Kristen Davis.

And Danny DeVito is the neighbor, and he has all these.

It might be Deck the Halls.

And those twins from Eighth and Ocean are in it.

The ones with the astigmatism.

You guys know what I'm talking about.

I know what you're talking about.

The astigmatism.

If you don't know those commercials with the twins, oh my God.

With the twins from 8th and Ocean who have an astigmatism.

That's all you need to know.

No, there's also that, it's a,

are you talking about boy twins or girl twins?

Girl twins.

Yeah, blonde hair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were models in 8th and Ocean.

Yes.

And I just feel like, I think that's where we'll draw the line.

Like, if you know that reference, like, this is the show for you.

And, like, if you don't.

Eighth and Ocean was the best show.

And when it never came back, I was truly heartbroken.

Yes.

Also, an amazing Christmas movie that I personally love is The Grinch.

Could not

agree.

Might be one of my favorites.

Absolutely, perfectly well done.

Stunning.

Also, The Princess Switch, of course.

No.

No, I agree.

A Christmas Prince, the one from Netflix, like, was pretty good, but I never, it wasn't good enough because I obviously, I didn't watch the next one.

When I regard holiday films, I don't include any originals from Netflix.

Me neither.

Like, it had to have been released in theaters, like, when we were kids,

in my eyes.

Also, Home Alone.

Is that a christmas movie yes because like they were going away for christmas it's also like low-key like an episode of svu like they were trying to kidnap him no totally as a kid like i used to be really scared and i'm like why is everyone laughing at these kidnappers like yeah it was actually serious it was a serious threat yeah i agree just friends you love that movie i love that movie and i also don't think of it as a holiday movie i think of it as like a rom-com

Yeah, that like happens to take place during the holidays.

Agreed.

It's not a Christmas movie.

Okay,

if you insist.

So I think the elf is...

Yeah, elf or Grinch.

Grinch is so good, and it's so family-friendly.

And so quotable.

So quotable.

Loathe entirely.

Okay, so I do believe, right?

I hoobie do boi believe

that

that is our show wrapping up a great week here at the morning toast you know we didn't get you a cake um but we do want to wish you a happy birthday because that was on me and I forgot.

And your birthday's tomorrow.

So things happen.

Bitch, I always fucking asked you to.

I know.

I actually meant to because I would have loved, you know, to crush some cakes.

Some donuts or something on a fried.

Disprank, there's a cake over there.

No, like, I wish so much.

I wish I didn't even mention it because you probably didn't realize.

No, why do you think I literally came in today?

I'm so, I'll make it up to you.

No, I don't want it.

Let me make it up to you.

No, I don't want the cake.

It's let me make it up.

It's probably for the best.

I get the message you guys are trying to get.

We're going to make it.

Stop eating.

We're going to make it up to you.

It's fine.

Do you want to sing to yourself before we go?

Honestly, no.

Wow.

That's how upset you are?

No, no.

That's how much I want to go home.

That's how much you want to end the show.

Yeah.

No.

I love you guys.

I don't want to end the show.

I just really need to get home.

Maybe Monday could be the official birthday celebration of the Claudia on the Toast.

I mean, it's fine.

Like, I just think it's important to remember a few things.

Not that I was ever keeping score.

I did get you a Gucci bag just for the show.

Yeah.

Because when we used to say, Gucci bag, Gucci bag, Gucci bag, Gucci bag.

We haven't done that in a while.

Because we don't have a clock and we don't see when it's 11-11.

Let's get a clock.

Digital, so we could can see.

Yeah.

I just got you, Gucci bag and I got balloons for you and then like that following year, like I just got like a lackluster cupcake from you and then I stopped like trying because we were just like on two different playing fields.

Okay, you know what?

That's really fair criticism.

That's okay, good.

No, it's I see what you're referring to.

I did get a cake last year.

You got a cake last year.

But it's worth noting.

Jillian got the cake.

And when I got you, that celebration, we didn't have anyone working with us.

No, it's true.

you I'm in the deficit I'm in the wrong yeah but you know what I'm in the what's the opposite of deficit efficit prophesy

there isn't a word I go to antonyms.com

no you have to go to thesaurus deficit and then click antonyms I fucking you guys I think love an antonymsaurus.com like ever got hacked and taken down like the world would cease to exist I mean if thesaurus.com didn't exist this would not exist dead fucking serious I use thesaurus.com so much.

Oh, and by the way, I also use dictionary.com.

Antonyms for deficit.

Okay, but also, can I say something really quickly?

People who don't use dictionary.com and use like Merriam-Webster, I just wanted to say, like, you're a psychopath.

Freaks.

That's crazy ass serial killer behavior.

Sorry, continue.

Are you ready for the antonyms?

Deficit?

Abundance, adequacy, advantage, enough.

Abundance is good.

Advantage is good.

Sufficiency, but that's not, that seems like zero.

Sufficient.

Sufficient is like enough.

I don't know.

I was looking for a word that like rhymes with deficit.

Preface it.

Preface it.

Add it, Miriam.

Well, what I was going to say was that

while I might be in the preface it.

Well, you might be in the deficit for birthday cakes.

Like

I am in the prefacet for like never letting you talk.

So I guess we can just call it even.

Put her there.

Very good.

Very good.

All right.

So, all's well that ends well here at the morning.

Do you want me to sing to you?

Actually?

Yes.

Okay, and which one do you want?

Stevie Wonder or the classic?

The classic.

Happy birthday

to

you.

Happy birthday

to

you.

Unbelievable.

Happy birthday, dear Claudia.

That is good.

Happy birthday

to

you.

Okay, you have made significant progress.

I just want to say, like, I really think you should take voice lessons.

Because, like,

the thing is,

is like you want to have a good voice so bad.

So bad more than anything.

And it's like, just not fair that you don't have a good bad voice.

No, and it's like, it makes you think, because at the end of the day, like, people who have good voices are so supremely talented, but it's also just luck.

It's not talent, no offense.

Like, you didn't earn it.

And of course, you could trade that you're either born with it or not.

It's privilege.

Like,

it is.

It's no, you're 100% right.

And when, like,

when we compliment singers and they're like, thank you, like, you didn't do anything.

Thank God.

Literally.

Literally.

I think that's a great way to end the show.

Happy birthday, Claude.

We love you so much.

Thank you.

You don't look a day over

22.

Yeah, people think I'm like 45.

Oh my god, last night I was talking to someone who listens to the toast and didn't know how old I was.

And like, she was saying how she's so old.

I was like, How old could you possibly be?

And then she was like, How old are you?

And I was like, 28.

And she's like, Oh my God, I thought you were in your 30s.

I was like, Oh, because I'm a grandma, like, because I give off grandma vibes.

She's like, Yeah, no, actually, I guess, like, the way that my energy is just older.

Well, if that's a case, like, I drink like an 18-year-old.

Yeah, no, so I guess.

But people always think I'm old, but weight adds a factor.

Like, people just think think you're older when you're fat.

You think?

Yeah.

I do.

But also sometimes, like, it like.

You get liposuction, just like haul it a day.

Bring me with you.

Okay.

Theo, I love you.

Thank you for being literally just a heavenly being.

He's the greatest gift.

Remember that

Met Gala heavenly.

Oh my God.

You are literally reading my mind.

I'm so freaked out.

He is the literal mascot of heavenly bodies.

Yeah, I would agree with that.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Morning Toast.

Also, if you do want to get me a present, I'm registered at Plummy Dales.

Thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast, The Millennial Morning Show.

Where we deliver the fastest stories.

Where we deliver the fastest stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

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So whenever you listen to podcasts, find us morning tells us leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

We hope you guys have an amazing weekend.

Stay safe,

buy me a present, and have a great day.

Love you.

Bye.