S4 Ep63: The Dramatic Granny: Wednesday, April 7th, 2021

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy hump day.

It is Wednesday, so do not forget to not only acknowledge the space that you're in, but also hump someone you love.

I have Theo here today.

Thank God.

So I'm all taken care of.

You're going home to Bruce after this.

You're all taken care of.

That's all we could ask for.

Yes, acknowledge the space that you're in, and inevitably you will hump someone you love once you do that acknowledgement.

Nevertheless, you will hump.

I, before we go any further, I need you to acknowledge the space that you're in, one in which you stand corrected.

Eh.

Eh.

If you're watching on YouTube, Claudia's hair looks sickening

the roots down.

Okay, yes.

Yes.

But it's not from the Dyson Air app.

Like, okay, we all saw your TikTok.

So yeah, I did this TikTok.

We all saw your TikTok.

I know.

I did this TikTok because I really wanted to give this stupid $600 blow dryer another chance because like I literally already spent the money and it's been sitting under my desk.

And I got to work and the final product looked pretty good.

The final product was never seen again.

Like literally when I got into bed at night, like my hair was back to natural.

Yeah, it takes some maintenance.

It's not perfect.

So, but then don't charge me $600.

If there's a learning curve, it's not perfect and I have to redo it in the morning.

So this morning I used a flat iron.

Like I, I made, used other tools.

So you didn't use the flip trick I taught you?

No, I used my Revlon round brush, which, by the way, like $50,

the Dyson Air Rop wishes she could be the Revlon one step.

Well, we all saw your TikTok and it looked amazing.

I know, and now I feel like I put out misinformation.

Even though you begrudgingly, like, had a sickening hairdo, you couldn't stop the results from being what they were.

No, I know.

And like, I wanted to be wrong.

Like, I spent that money.

I want to have an easy time doing my hair.

Okay, so you're saying you're done with the Dyson.

Like, I don't see a reason to keep her.

Because I have a number of people in my DMs who sent me their addresses who want you to send it to me.

Me too.

Once I decide to fully let go from it, I'm literally just going to choose someone and like surprise them with it.

I think that's really good.

I'll clean it first.

I've only used it like four times.

I think that's great.

And I haven't used most of the extensions.

Great.

Everybody wins.

We just don't like,

I don't know.

I don't know.

That's all I'll say.

Like, I don't know.

I'm in this like really kind of confusing space.

And I don't know how to acknowledge the space that I'm currently in because I can't really define the space, like how I'm feeling.

Well, you know, that in itself is a space.

So true.

Limbo.

The space of confusion.

Purgatory, yeah.

Yeah.

So take your time.

It'll, it'll solve itself.

Don't worry about it.

Yeah, I know.

I'm just like, now I have a new haircut.

So like I'm just kind of figuring out how to style it.

And I thought the Dyson Air app would like truly

enlighten the new haircut.

And if anything, I'm left more confused.

Well, your hair looks great today.

And so, whatever you did or learned, keep doing and learning.

Love long.

Great, but you never styled it like this before.

So, like, it took me a while.

Well, because it's my short hair.

I only style it like this when I have short hair.

It looks great.

We're good.

Thank you so much.

So, thank you.

Thank you for the encouragement on the journey.

I truly appreciate it.

You're welcome.

I'm nothing if not encouraging.

So true.

Unlike you, who is just not encouraging my wellness journey.

Okay.

Tell them.

Tell them.

Tell them.

And I bet bet they'll agree with me.

Tell them.

So, yeah.

Jackie's been accusing me of not being surprised.

You've been screaming at me to tell them.

Jackie's being accusing me of not being surprised.

I'm telling them to set the stage.

Sorry.

Okay.

So I said yesterday that I was going to go to a wellness retreat.

Like my friend had recommended it.

And I did a little research and it looks so fabulous.

And I know two people who went there and love it.

Utterly fabulous.

Really expensive though, but I was going insane.

I was going to make peace with the price.

And so I reached out at, but they're completely booked until July, which like doesn't help me i want to go in two weeks i need which was a blessing because it's literally an insane amount of money to spend on a week right even even on a vacation like right i need to get my wellness like on and pop it on fleek so i'm wanting to go sooner but now that like i i started to like think about going on a wellness reference i was like wow i really want to do this so

i was hooked on wellness so i started but also when i say wellness like it's also just like i want to get like it's a getting in shape like a canyon ranch yeah like a lose weight feel great clear your mind mind mentally

and body and soul.

Exactly.

It's mental and it's physical.

So it's both.

It's not just like a healing trip where I'm going to do like.

No, no, you want like, you want to.

I'm going to do fitness and I'm going to eat right.

You want to go to fat camp for a week.

Yes.

So I'm going to get my mind and my body right.

So I was really like excited to do this one, but then I...

couldn't get a slot.

So I started doing some research and I found a different program that I'm not going to like put.

No, don't put them on less.

Right.

No, because I still might do it.

You're just like not being supportive.

But I found a a program that's literally just like a weight loss camp for a week um and it looks like so great and serious and i want to go i want to go they have a spot for me no great week that i want to go by the way i support you because this one's reasonably priced and if you want to be a freak and spend an entire week like in a torture chamber like that's on you i am supportive of that what i'm not supportive of is you trying to get me to come with you Oh, I mean, I gave up on that.

I tried.

I tried.

No, I had Zach would come with me.

He said, like, if I couldn't find someone to come with me, that he would come.

That's his job as a husband.

And it's pet friendly, so Bruno's coming too.

By the way, I am supportive of this journey.

This is 25% of the price.

I heard you and Cinch Rat Trinks last night, just like talking about how crazy it was.

No.

Oh, look, did you fucking snitch?

Looking at the Instagram account.

Oh, my God.

That fucking bitch.

Okay, ready?

I did not, she brought it up, Margo, and she was like, she's like, she's trying to get me to come with him.

I'm like, yeah, she already started on me.

Like, she knows that.

I literally called Ben.

I called everyone.

I said, Jackie knows better than, like, first of all, I don't do things I don't want to do.

And I certainly don't go to weight loss retreats.

So, like, I'm literally the last person in the family who would literally ever go.

And Margo's actually like a

decent candidate to be persuaded by you.

I thought so, too.

And so she was like adamant.

And so she was trying to tell me to like lay, to tell you to like lay off of her.

So I can't believe she would even fucking bring that up.

Interesting.

And I was just like, this new place, we were talking about how when you wanted to spend the money at the fancy place, like, we thought you were fucking crazy.

And then with this place, like, happy for you.

But we did look up some pictures of the facility and it does appear to be, you know, a cabin in the woods.

So that's all I'm saying.

It's rustic.

Okay.

It's a camp.

As long as you know what you're signing up for and like no one is going to like sell you into a cult, then go and live your best life.

I have been supportive of that.

I've just been looking out for your finances.

Sorry.

Okay, fine.

I just would really like to feel some supportive energy as I try to make this decision.

I I know, but you know what?

And now that I, and I know,

this morning I was leaning towards like maybe not going because it does feel extreme.

But now that I've said it on the show, like, I think I need to, I think I have to go.

No, the thing is, is that I have actually not been unsupportive at all.

I've just been kind of like realistic, which I know is like not what you want to hear.

And I think maybe you like coming at me saying I'm being unsupportive is kind of what you're feeling inside.

Like maybe I shouldn't go.

And you're trying to blame me.

No, I'm just looking for like one person to like encourage me because it's like it's a big decision to make, you know?

So I'm just looking for like I want to be encouraged to go.

And so when everyone's like being a bunch of naysayers.

Well, also, you know, this is what counselor and I were saying, like, I just worry about your expectations because like you are only going to be away for like six days, whatever.

And like one of them is a travel day.

So like, you know, you're not really going to be there for so long.

The expectations of the weight loss you need.

No, of just like you said you're going to come out a different person.

Like it's only a week.

Even like on the, you know, best, most healthiest journey, you're still the same person a week later.

So like.

i don't think i'm gonna come out a new person i think it's gonna jumpstart something for me that i've been having a hard time jumpstarting myself okay i support anything you want to do that's financial and financially reasonable okay um and this new facility is um i don't think you'll have a good time but

sometimes self-care looks like hard work go for it okay thank you for this about face What does that mean?

Changing of the way that

I have not said anything different than I've been saying to you all week.

I did not.

I will be going back to the next one.

I did not support the first place.

Maybe it's just like it was lost in like communication over FaceTime.

I wasn't feeling supported, but like here face to face.

But I don't really know how you could say you weren't feeling supported because first of all, I support you and I wanted to look out for you and I think you spending that money on the first place was so silly.

And we agree on that, right now?

I don't know.

I think you get what you pay for it.

Okay, that.

But then the second thing was like you coming for me asking me to go with you.

Like that was kind of crossing a line in my book.

okay um sorry that i want to spend time with you that's not what it is you just don't want to go to a place alone like in case they murder you so like now i have to get murdered too because you wanted to lose five pounds like yeah that's not worth it um i don't know i think that's being a good sister

It's honestly going above and beyond as a sister.

And I think we all above and beyond the call.

Yes.

I'm not that type of sister.

You are.

Yes, so that's why I was just like hoping someone could be that for me.

But no.

You're asking a lot.

Like you really are.

It's fine.

I'm going to make peace with the journey.

And now that I've said it out loud on the show, I think I have to go.

Okay.

And it will be an experience, and I will be vlogging it.

Of course, of course.

If anything, do it for the vlog.

100%.

All right, Nevart.

So in this one month of Patreon, you'll get our Krispy Kreme Toll House Pie vlog.

Which the Toll House Pie was finally delivered today.

I definitely want to be a little bit more than that.

So we are filming it today.

It just got delivered.

So you'll get your Krispy Krem vlog and your Weight Loss Journey vlog.

And if you're ever curious as to why we have to go on weight loss journey vlogs, it's because you'll refer to the Krispy Kreme vlog.

Right, right, right, right.

Yeah.

Well, it's also Wednesday, so we have deer toasters, which I'm super excited about.

Our advice segment, so that'll be at the end of the show.

And Real House Size of Dallas was on last night.

And it's actually a pretty good episode.

It was pretty good.

I caught up, so I'm kept abreast.

And yeah, I have some thoughts about Oklahoma.

I have some thoughts about Carrie.

I have thoughts about Carrie, thoughts on our possible move to Oklahoma.

I think that's the place for us.

Yeah, no, I think you might be onto something.

No, I think Stephanie Holman might have been onto something when she decided to be born there.

Yeah, no, she did that.

So yeah, what else did you do yesterday?

I don't like yesterday was like a blur.

It was like busy.

I did a lot of errands and I did like a lot of stuff that I've been putting off.

Ben literally posted a meme yesterday that spoke to my soul.

Yes.

Where it was like...

You wait 16 days to do a task.

Not even 16 days, like six months to do a task that took you 15 minutes and you learned nothing from it and you're going to do it that way again.

But yesterday, like I did do a bunch of stuff I had been putting off.

What'd you do?

Um, I just like I well, actually, it wasn't that productive because I had to pick up a prescription, but the line was really long, so I left.

Okay.

Dropped off some things at the dry cleaning, literally one sweater that's been waiting to go to dry cleaning since November.

Dry cleaning is like the most

annoying errand because, first of all, it's gonna keep accruing, so I might as well just like keep the pile going.

I know, but it's like if I'm getting a dry clean, it means like I wore it, which means it's like one of five things that I enjoy wearing.

I know, and I need it back.

But also, I hate dry cleaning because I hate getting dry cleaning back.

Like, having to unwrap so much paper, plastic, wire hanger, finding a new fresh hanger, hanging it up.

Like, then it's like a job for me.

So I'd rather.

I'd rather just never wear that sweater again.

Yeah, no, but I've been needing the sweater.

Like, every outfit has been calling for the sweater.

When you guys see it, you'll know it.

Like, you'll know it when you see it.

Speaking of sweaters, I got a new one that I'm wearing today.

Speaking of sweaters, this one's old.

It looks cute.

Nonetheless.

Oh, my time hop is starting to trigger me like hardcore now.

Can anyone relate to this?

Because I guess this time last year, we were like peak activities in quarantine.

So like literally my

time hop is reminding me of like all the puzzles, all the meals, RuPaul's drag race.

And remember when I was knitting, like, oh my God, I'm feeling so triggered.

I don't know what to do.

Like, I can't look at time hop anymore.

You know what?

It's about to get worse because we still haven't hit Zoom Toast in Time Hop.

We were still in studio.

So at least like you were leaving the house and getting dressed and like it was still in like semi-normal looking fun like quirky phase and then Zoom toast comes along.

And this is something we're going to have to deal with every year for the rest of our lives.

Like, Time Hop is seriously, I might have to delete it just because it's not like a certain time of year where we'll get the quarantine.

It'll be all fucking year.

Yeah, but maybe you just eventually delete all the pictures from your phone so that there aren't so many coming up in your time hop.

It's really triggering.

Like, delete this year from your phone.

Yeah.

Think about it.

I will.

Speaking of things to think about, Redhead Madness finals are underway.

Top two, Before We Were Strangers versus Girl with No Job.

The preliminary polls are showing that Before We Were Strangers is going to take the win.

I'm not, like, of course, like, I'm a little, like, of course, you always want to win, of course.

But, like, okay, well, I'm a little bit more disappointed than I thought I would be because I really, like, it really was an honor to be nominated.

But then I'm like, what if I just took this whole thing?

But I didn't because that's not me, and that's fine.

I'm a first-time author.

And...

Even before I wrote my book, I could barely read.

So this is truly an honor.

Thank you to the Redheads community for always supporting me.

And honestly, even just to be on the same bracket as some of these esteemed authors is so humbling and gratifying in so many ways.

So I just want to say thank you.

And even though I couldn't win this time, I'm really, I am at peace with that.

Like I really am.

And I'm just so honored to have made it to even past the first round.

Like is a huge deal for me.

So you're number two out of 18, which is pretty darn good, especially because we have some, we've read some really good books.

And you told me that I made the semifinals, which was top four.

And like with for that, like I was happy.

Like I did not need to move.

I needed, I didn't, did did not need to advance to another round.

And I made it one more round.

So two more rounds.

So like, no, one more round.

Yeah.

So I'm really

going to acknowledge the space that I'm in and feel really positive about it.

So thank you to the Redheads community.

I love you guys.

And also, we think that you've been awarded miscongeniality amongst the authors.

Oh, really?

Well, yeah, there's been so many authors come on the show.

So it's nice to, you know, kind of win that.

Yeah, you know.

Just the small things.

It is what it is.

It is what it is.

So thanks, everyone, for voting.

And that was really fun.

Yeah, it was.

it was like a good activity for us it was what we do next i don't know now i'm gonna like go through all the scores and rate tonk 10 right right um so that was fun and i started a new book last night i can't remember the name but it's about napoleon's wife i think i don't know so far so good

little french revolution drama tudor vibes no it's actually like bonaparte vibes oh louis bonaparte no what's his name napoleon napoleon bonaparte

yeah okay um well happy for you you.

Thank you.

So that I am.

And I think we should dive in because there's a lot to cover.

I do.

I think without further ado.

Do-do-do.

Where are you?

Last day, yesterday, I called her Thelma.

When her name is Velma.

You called her Velma.

When her name is Thelma.

For real?

And now you called her Thelma.

When her name is Thelma.

Which is her name.

It's Thelma.

What is it?

But you said Velma.

Her name is Thela.

Thelma.

No!

Her name is Velma.

Thelma!

But I said Thelma!

I'm sorry, Thelma, for calling you Thelma.

Nope, nope.

No, wait.

This is Chris Pine.

What the fuck is her name?

Velma.

Velma.

Yeah.

I said.

Okay.

Toddy's up.

Oh, did you do?

No, no, no.

Without further ado, did it, did it, do,

where are you?

Just

called her Thelma or Velma.

And her name is Thelma or Velma.

I guess we'll never know.

Without further ado, to do,

it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know.

Before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast, hit them with that crunch.

Okay, let me take a wild guess.

What's today's episode brought to you by?

Hmm.

Well, if we were just singing dooda dooda do,

then the next association would be Bruta Doo-da-doo.

Thank you so much.

Which so much.

Brings us to the Bruda Doo Da Bruch.

Douche.

Douche.

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Love it.

Okay, first story.

Andy Cohen announces a Watch What Happens Live special with the real housewives children.

So before we even dive into the cast, like I just want to talk about this conceptually because I have a lot of problems with the cast.

Mainly one, Brooks Marks.

Let's dive into the cast.

But I just want to say, like, as an idea, like, who, whoever came up with this idea, like, is an absolute genius because I was just on TikTok getting old clips from Watch Rappin' Live.

live in Los Angeles, and it was just like such an event.

And it was like, we haven't had that in so long.

Like, bravo BravoCon.

It was just a genius and we just need something fresh.

Yes.

And I love this idea.

My only gripe with it is that it's probably going to be virtual, which just like takes away from the excitement of all these kids getting together like and meeting.

Who knows?

Like Brielle.

Yeah, Berba and Frank, Cantania, like getting along.

Brielle and Frank.

I see.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Brielle and Frank forever.

Oh, my God.

Totally.

But you're right.

Now that I know.

You're right.

I didn't even think about that.

It's definitely on Zoom.

And so let's get into the cast, but I also think that this is going to be a Mother's Day special that seems to be sent.

You guys, Andy announced that he's hosting a Bravo kids episode of Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen that's set to feature Kim Zelsiak's daughter Brielle Berman.

Brielle Berman?

She's Jewish now.

Okay, let's just go off.

Like Brielle Bierman, perfect for this.

OG has been through a lot of different seasons on Bravo.

And she has her own show.

Yeah.

And she's everything of the sort.

Done.

Riley Burris, who's Candy's daughter.

Loves same energy as Brielle.

Been there forever.

Has a personality.

Like, we love to see it.

Love to see it.

Dolores' son, Frankie Catania.

Everything of the sort.

Yeah.

I hope he wears one of those tuxedo tuxedos from Malzones.

How did you remember that?

If you guys were around

in the toast era, for the Malzone era, like that was...

like honestly my favorite time to be alive.

100%.

Teresa's daughter, Gia Judice.

Perfect.

Same as Brielle Bierman, an icon.

I think it was a great selection.

Vicki's daughter Brianna Culperson.

So yeah, she's not a kid.

That's the thing.

She has kids.

So I get it's like their parents were bravo, but I didn't like Brianna even when she, Brianna, even when she was on the show.

Um, and I just, I didn't, I wasn't pleased with the selection, even though she is like the quintessential OG bravo child.

Like she grew up on the show.

Yes.

But one, I agree, like so far everyone's around the same age.

Like what romances are going to be popping off?

And this seems like a road.

Choice.

Plus, Vicki's not even a housewife anymore so like you guys make that decision true also gina keoff next gina keo's son shane another one same exact thought process yeah but now it's like bringing me back to like those early seasons of oc when like it was literally all about the kids and it was like so crazy yeah luann's daughter victoria perfect caroline manzo's sons albie and chris they're so funny they have such great personalities i cannot wait for them okay but like the same exact thing could be said which is like they're old and older and their mom's not on the show.

Okay, true, but

they're not as old as Brianna and they don't have kids.

So like something about, I don't think they

agree.

I agree.

There's something about them doesn't bother me, but something about Brianna does.

Sorry, I don't, why do I have to explain myself?

Okay, I just wanted you to like, you know, I know, I'm just coming up with reasons.

I just like, I'm not, I'm just like.

No, no, I completely agree with you.

I just wanted to call us out on our own hypocrisy.

Biases, yeah, no, I definitely, do we not know this?

Like, I'm literally the most hypocritical bitch on this planet.

Okay, cool.

Meredith son Brooks.

So this is where I really have a problem.

Let me tell you why.

Not only, not because I don't like Brooks, because I don't like Brooks, but that's not why.

Like, I just think it's like, this is meant to be like a celebration of history.

And Brooks is just like

just got here.

Yeah, he hasn't earned his stripes yet, even though he put them on his track seats.

You know, I literally was four inches away from buying a track suit yesterday.

It would honestly be good.

It's just as a joke.

It would be good on it.

And it would look good.

For a sweatshirt, literally from American Apparel and sweatpants from American Apparel, $200.

No, thank you.

Each.

$175 and no, $125 and like $75 for the pants.

Like it added up to like over $200.

Wow.

Yeah.

So I was just like, okay, this is like a practical joke, but at what expense?

No, I know.

Literally.

Literally.

I agree with you.

Like, everyone else has been on the show multiple seasons, knows each other, paid their dues.

Yeah, and Brooks just, it's...

He's not at that level yet.

No, and honestly, like, so much of what I hope they ask is like, what was it like, like, going to school and, like, being a kid when all of this was happening?

And Brooks doesn't know.

He doesn't.

He dropped out of college and he's been on it for one year.

Yeah.

Like, I want to hear what it was like for Avery Singer to go to these like snooty, you know, Upper East Side private schools when her mom was like getting drunk on television.

Like, how does that work?

Yeah.

Cynthia Bailey's daughter, Noel.

Live for her.

She's gorgeous.

Ramona's daughter, Avery.

Perfect.

Like, perfect.

And Sheree's son, Cairo.

Oh, okay.

So for the most part, I think they did a really good job with casting.

I just have like a huge

issue with Brooks Marks.

Yeah, I agree.

but if everything else, you know, is good, then I'm not going to harp on the one.

Me too.

On the one.

And I think this will be great.

I just really wish it were in person because, like, I think so many love connections could form.

And even friendships.

Yeah, no, but there's definitely something a brewing between Brielle and Frank.

Frankie.

Yeah.

Excuse me.

I ship.

And like, are the parents going to like be involved at all?

Like, I wish it was in studio so like the parents could be in the audience.

Like that would be funny.

Yeah.

And why?

That's like in New York now, like you can gather in groups of less than 50.

Maybe they film reunions.

I mean, maybe it will be in person.

I'm just assuming it will be virtual, but let's hold out and hope that it will be in person.

That would be so enjoyable.

And also in May, because now I think I was watching, I wasn't watching, but New York one just like happened to be on.

And I think I heard them say that every adult in New York is now eligible for the vaccine.

April.

They moved it to now everyone over 13.

As of yesterday.

Everyone over 16.

Every adult.

Yeah.

So yeah.

So like, why not do it in May?

Yeah.

Hopefully.

That would be fabulous.

I love this idea.

I love the cast for the most part.

And I hope Andy's excited because, you know, sometimes when you're watching Watch What Happens Live, you can feel that Andy would literally rather be anywhere else but his own studio.

And it's like frustrating.

And that really happens a lot with like the Bravo people, not with like true celebrities.

So I hope he is in a good mood that day.

Yeah.

I think he will be.

This is the first of its kind.

And I think he will enjoy.

the process.

Yeah.

So if you want to submit questions, head over to his Facebook page.

And also Twitter now.

They just opened it up.

Yeah.

Okay, next up, a little new relationship news.

Sophia Richie is dating someone anew and her family approves.

Okay, well, they didn't approve last time.

Sophia, well, I think eventually they did.

Lionel took a while to come around.

As he should.

Sophia Ritchie has a new man in her life.

A source tells Entertainment Tonight that the 22-year-old model is dating Elliot Grange, a music executive.

Okay, businessman Beau.

A businessman Beau.

They have been friends for years, and Elliot is also close with Sophia's brother, Miles.

The source says of Richie's 26-year-old brother.

It's very nice for Sophia to date someone who her family approves of and likes.

How old is this ma'am?

The article does not specify.

That was, of course, like my first question.

Yeah.

But I'm going to venture to guess he's around 26 because he's friends with a brother.

Right.

Oh, he's great.

Yeah.

I'm really happy for her.

Like, I,

it must be tough that, like,

Scott moved on so publicly and so fast.

Um, and I like that she's taking this kind of like low-key approach with a businessman bow.

I have a lot of respect for that.

And I really like Sophia.

also the last person that she was spotted out with was also a business man bow i believe so she clearly is into businessmen and maybe she like saw you know the life of like a star and didn't want that so now she went to the other side of the industry yeah for sure music

industry executive um the entire hamlin um family is on vacation and i'm like so curious if scott is there are they in miami they were somewhere tropical well scott was in miami i think so like i'm just curious i couldn't, like, yes, I'm curious.

I like, I just want to know, but I'm not going to do any sort of like stalking investigating.

Like, I'm not going to support this in any way.

No, me neither.

And, like, I really hope Lisa like kind of has to like explain it on

the new season of Beverly Hills because they've been together for a while and it's definitely going to come up at some point in the filming.

Yeah.

And, like, what, do you have any concerns about the fact Lisa's like so obsessed with fame, the hustle, like, she, and she probably, like, is living for the fact that her daughter's dating someone so famous, but like, there isn't like an actual concern about like like how young she is and how old he is and i'm curious if she's even going to address that yeah but also delilah and amelia have been on the show before so now that they're like actually in the headlines like that would be the time to come on the show right like not before we didn't know who you were like now we like live for you like give us more yeah i live i i do sure lisa really saw the bella and gig

um model like take off and she want like wanted the same thing But that's not what she got.

No, no, no, but like it was very much appeared to be like the same type of

setup.

Yes, I agree.

And I think Bravo wanted that too.

Yeah, no, I mean, it was so great for Bravo.

Like the fact,

this is why I love Bravo.

The fact that Gigi Hadid was on the biggest supermodel in the world, was on the Wheel House Bus at Beverly Hills for multiple seasons and like was doing photo sheets for guests and like complaining about how she was hungry and her mom said she could only eat almonds.

Like that is a cultural phenomenon.

And like the fact that we kind of lived through it, like we are so lucky.

Yeah.

It was iconic.

And so many like young girls, myself myself included, like, became obsessed with Gigi from that show.

Yeah,

good times.

Crazy times.

Those were good times.

That was like the peak of Beverly Hills.

The dream team.

The dream team.

Brandy, Lisa Vanner.

I can't believe I used to love Lisa Vanner Pump.

Like, those were just like the glory days.

Those were the glory days.

Like, Brandy, I loved her so much.

I loved Yolanda.

And I loved her, them too, and Lisa, like as a unit.

But then it all really kind of fell apart when Brandon Glanville started making like nasty comments to Yolanda about Bella Hadid's DUI at age 14, you know?

Oh, they were sitting by their pool, you know?

Yeah.

And that house was so iconic.

The fridge, the grass, the Argyle grass in the backyard.

I would do anything to live in that house.

But then like nothing, it turned like now looking at it all in hindsight and like the David Foster of it all, like it was not anything of the sort like between them, you know?

No, but what we were sustainable.

No, of course not.

But what we were watching was truly like just a fantasy.

Yeah.

And I loved living in the fantasy, but fantasies don't last forever.

No, they don't.

Clearly.

Are you ready for our next story?

Pete Davidson is moving out of his mom's house.

He must be getting serious.

I got a pad.

Pete Davidson, at 27 years old, has officially left the nest.

Oh my God.

Pete Davidson and I are like the same age?

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Do you think he was older or younger?

Older.

Oh, no, but he's like known for being young, but like now the young guy is 27.

So like we're all getting old.

Yeah, right.

Like I'm old.

Yeah.

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

He's moved into a place of his own two years after buying a home with his mom, Amy.

He shared on TikTok that, quote, I just moved out of my mom's house.

I'm fully out.

I got a pad.

The brief clip showed his living area.

It had tall windows, a large TV, and a few pictures.

Did it look like the city?

No, it's in Staten Island.

Oh my God, I love how he's like so obsessed with his hometown.

Yeah.

I mean, I do think it's time, even though, like, he converted the hell out of his mom's basement.

Like, I saw a tour once for like a Netflix to promote his stand-up special.

Yeah.

He did like a tour, like a crib style tour for Netflix's Instagram.

And it was like super nice.

Like, it it was decked the fuck out.

Like you would never know it was his mom's basement in Staten Island.

Like it looked like a penthouse, like, you know, framed basketball jerseys everywhere, like video games.

Like it was like sick.

So I hope like he took all that with him because it was looked like an expensive, you know, journey.

Yes.

Or maybe he kept it so he has like, you know, somewhere to go if he ever wants to crash there.

Also, like he is dating Phoebe for Daphne.

One of the most eligible bachelorettes in Hollywood.

Like, I don't think she's going to Staten Island to see Pete Davidson at his mom's house, you know?

I mean, I don't even think she's going to Staten Island, period.

Just saying.

Yeah, but like, she must be if they're dating.

Yeah.

No, like, Pete Davidson must be, like, really hot if, like, she's going to see, she's taking the ferry, you know?

100%.

There's only one way to get to Staten Island, the ferry.

Hundred?

100%.

Yeah.

But so they're really cute.

They're a cute couple.

Everybody's shipping.

I know, but like, can we get a picture of them?

Like, how do we know that they're actually dating?

There's just so many headlines.

I've not seen them in the same room.

The last time I doubted like a relationship just because of the headlines, it was.

Let me guess.

About Pete Davidson.

Oh, R.

Antonio.

Yeah.

I was just like, there's no fucking way that this is true.

And I was so fucking wrong.

So.

No, this is believable, but like we're talking about it so much and I haven't seen a goddamn photo.

Yeah.

Where is it?

Show us photos.

Yeah.

Show us photos.

Maybe it's like an online relationship.

Right, like pen pals.

That's cute.

Really cute.

Have you ever heard of Pen Pal?

I don't think so.

No, me neither.

Hmm.

I feel like I missed out on something.

Why don't you ask for one?

Yeah.

Or I could start writing to inmates.

That's what a lot of people do.

Yeah.

And they get married like via mail.

It's crazy.

It's a good journey for you.

Yeah, I think so too.

Are you ready for our next story?

It's so many components of your least favorite things.

I couldn't help but choose it.

Okay.

Aaron Rodgers holds Shaylene Woodley's at Disney World while enjoying Disney World together.

Yeah, okay.

It's the most magical place on earth with the cutest duo for Claudiasha and Opposite Day.

Yeah.

Wait, did I say I don't like them as a couple?

You're just like not about them.

I just, I don't understand them.

I understand them, but I'm just like not about them personally.

And that's fine.

I'm so happy for like them, and I hope that they have a lasting relationship.

And then they're enjoying a fun, filled Easter weekend together at Disney World in Orlando, Florida.

Were they with any nieces or nephews, like young kids, or just two adults?

It didn't appear nieces and nephews.

It did not appear that there were nibbling on site.

Cool.

So, um, I really don't want to get into this like whole thing because I had like a community of people like attack me when I spoke out against adults who go to Disneyland.

And by the way, like,

that's fine.

Like, Like if you want to go to Disneyland on Easter, like for a special occasion, like that's fine.

I was mainly talking about like the people who like go like almost every weekend and like move to Orlando to be near the parks and like, you know, and like know all these special facts about Disneyland and world.

Like that's more what I was talking about.

I think this is like a fine activity and they appear to just be like looking cute.

So although I definitely was triggered by the photos, I didn't really have a problem with them choosing this as an Easter activity.

Like that's what Disneyland is for, like special occasions, not like, you know, every weekend.

Okay, I think that's fair, me too.

And the pictures are really cute.

I know, they look really cute.

I like loved her outfit, even though I was like wondering how hot she was because, like, they went to LA or Orlando, either Orlando, so fucking hot, like, yeah, and a long sleeve turtleneck and big chunky jeans and Doc Martens.

Like, that is a choice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, that's really true.

So, that's what I was thinking about, but I thought they looked cute in their matching hats, and they've been like really active on social now, just like kind of like flaunting their relationship, which means they're like comfortable.

And, like, I actually really have grown to

appreciate, no, less than that.

Like,

what did you say?

Tolerate, yes, tolerate, you know, the relationship.

Because at first, I'm like, this makes no sense.

And, like, honestly, this will be over in a second.

But now, they're like really kind of standing the test of time and being like cute and stuff.

And I just am obsessed with Aaron Rodgers.

So, like, I trust him.

And I like know nothing about Chaileen Woodley, but what I do know is that like her and I would not be friends.

You know what I mean?

I don't think there's actually a single person on this earth who I have less in common with and like

would have less to talk about.

Like she would hate me and like I would probably hate her too.

You know what I mean?

Yes.

Like she's like, you know, got so famous and so rich and like gave up all of her material items.

Like that's literally the last thing I would do like if I became like a mega star rich celebrity.

Like the opposite.

So we just like are different types of girls.

So that's why I didn't really like understand it.

But it's also like you couldn't ever be like her because you're not like other girls.

So there could be a that's what we discovered yesterday.

Yeah, you're right.

So there couldn't be a girl who was like you.

I'm just like

not like other girls.

But you know what?

I think Shaylene is also not like other girls.

She's definitely not.

In a way that's different.

Different from the way that you're not like other girls.

Of course, because we're not like each other.

Right.

Yeah.

No, I completely agree.

Yeah.

So this is like cute.

This is cute.

I'm not like building a ship by any means, but I will let them through my port.

100%.

I will let them through my Suez Canal.

That literally sounds like so phallic.

100%.

Yeah.

And it's like, I'm not personally here for like them because I'm not, I don't like, I'm not obsessed with one of them on their own but I do always appreciate like the convergence of different aspects of fame yes like sports and film yeah so to me

I like that and Aaron Rodgers has been just like in the news a lot because he's been one of like the most popular guest hosts on Jeopardy oh I've been seeing and I just think it's so interesting like because there's also this clip that's gone viral of one um they did like celebrity jeopardy

He was on with Mr.

Wonderful and someone else as contestants.

And there's this clip because he got like literally every answer in a row, like from history to English.

Like it was actually so impressive.

And so now he's just like kind of like a Jeopardy icon.

And he's really well liked as the guest host.

And I know like there's a lot of, you know, things up in the air, like guest hosts, like his name, like.

He, I mean, he's busy, obviously, but like he could do it.

Wow, that's so interesting.

It sounds to me like he's not like other guys.

No, no, no, no, no.

He's not like other guys.

And honestly, he's not like other NFL players like at all.

Yeah.

That's the vibe that I've gotten in trying to understand the Rogers of it all.

The Rogers.

And then there's also like the whole other added element like where do we land with the Rogers family, the Jordan and JoJo of it all?

Like are they talking that other brother Luke who like didn't play professional sports but had the same haircut as them and like all that drama where they like were you know yelling at each other for not calling their mom on Easter last year?

Like where did we land with that?

And then this Easter he went to Disney World.

Without his family.

Yeah.

And do we know what Jordan and JoJo did?

They look like they've been on vacation last I saw.

I don't follow them.

I follow JoJo.

They were on vacation.

Do we have, speaking of the bachelor, do we have the story about Lauren and Ari's updated?

No, because I wasn't going to dignify them with another story.

Well, let's just address it because we gave them a story yesterday, basically saying they announced they're moving to Hawaii when they did a whole vlog that said we're moving to Hawaii.

And now they're coming out on their Instagrams and being like, oh my God, like, sorry, we caused so much confusion.

Like, we're not moving to Hawaii.

We're just getting a vacation house.

That's not news.

Like, you didn't need to vlog that.

No.

And you didn't need to be so misleading.

I feel stupid and misled.

It kind of feels like they misled us on purpose like just like led us astray yeah

so i yeah just correction they're not to update you it's just an issuing a correction but i'm not spending more time talking about it because i feel so bamboo what about um rachel and matt is that a story no what's the latest on du moi they were spotted in new york together yesterday what yeah it's shocking it is groundbreaking it is photo shattering blurry from the back but but this photo is a photo yeah oh my god no i did not see that so if you're in new york like matt lives downtown, keep your eyes peeled.

Peel, maybe we need to do some on the boots on the ground investigation.

Also, just like keep your eyes abreast.

Definitely, geez, definitely.

Keep your breasts

alive.

Okay, fifth and final story.

Rapper Will I Am is selling a smart mask for $299.

Oh, but when we sold $25 masks, it was out of touch.

Yeah.

Remember that?

Rapper William wants to make face masks, a high-end, high-tech statement.

The Black-eyed Peas member.

Oh, my God.

I'm so bothered by it.

Me too.

The Black Eyed Pease member announced this week he's teaming up with Honeywell to launch Zuper Mask.

It's Super Mask, but it's with an X.

I'm saying Zuper Mask.

Yeah, that's probably right.

A 299.

Or it's Super Mask.

And you have to go like this with your head.

Super mask.

A $299 mask with tons of bells and whistles.

In addition to dual three-speed fans and HEPA filters, a type of mechanical air filter, it features

Bluetooth connectivity, LED day glow lights, noise-canceling audio and microphone capabilities, seven hours of battery life, and a magnetic earbud docking system.

It also comes with adjustable straps.

This is the Zuper Mask.

Oh, it's kind of cute.

Mask, headphones, tech, robots.

And it's like, it has a fan for your mouth.

Yeah, so I guess it has like a filtration system.

So here's the thing.

Like, honestly, this sounded dumb when you first described it, but now it's like, okay, I could see people like needing that or wanting it.

But I'm like, like, I'm a little nervous, like, people are now, like, making more masks because, like, when are we done with the masks?

Like, I thought, like, this isn't really fun.

I feel we're on our way out of the mask dome.

And I know, I heard Fauci say, like, even if you're double vaccinated, and like, everyone in the room is vaccinated, and you're standing outside.

There's nine, nine people in a room.

Yeah, like, you still have to wear the mask.

Like, I heard that.

But we eventually planned to not wear masks, right?

So I was just like, what was disheartening to me about this story is that, like, there's new mask companies coming out, which means like we're not close to being done with masks.

And

investments being made in the mask industry.

And then it feels like The mask industry should be on the decline.

Right, no, like mask sales should be going down.

They had down.

They had their time.

No, I'm just confused.

And I'm sure, like, there's a whole CDC Who article about it, but like, I'm sure there's really not.

For me, I'm just like, isn't the point of moving out of the pandemic, like hopefully to never wear masks again?

Like, is this going to become permanent?

Like, I'm really going to cry.

Like, because I, and I'm not an anti-masker, I can't stress that enough.

Like, I wear my mask, I respect mask.

We know, but I'm not going to lie and say I like it.

Like, I literally hate it so fucking much.

So, what the fuck do we do yeah so he said it like because i'm sure you know it's the timing is a little precarious for this new high-tech mask okay his new role as a mask designer comes as some states have started lifting mandatory mask mandates amid the rise of the covet vaccinations still some experts say americans won't be setting masks aside anytime soon what do the experts say will i am said to the new york times SARS happened in Japan and Southeast Asia, and they got over it and they still wear masks.

So I guess the whole thing is...

Even that's a cultural thing.

They've worn masks in Asian countries for as long as I can remember.

Yeah, no, you'll never forget him.

Is that like people post-COVID will still want to wear masks?

Okay, I agree because COVID was terrible, but I'm not going to be one of those people.

I really, like, that's, I'm looking forward to going to concerts and never wearing a mask again, like, dead seriously.

Like, I fucking hate masks.

Yeah.

But I believe that we should wear them.

Like, I can't stress that enough.

Yeah.

Until it's.

But I'm not looking for like bigger, better.

Yeah, I just feel like the time for masks might be up sooner rather than later.

So

it should be on the decline.

Yeah.

So I just think like if he had launched this a year ago, billion dollar company.

Like huge mistake, William.

Huge.

Mm-hmm.

So that's what my thoughts are.

I agree.

Okay, we're going to recap Real Housewives of Dallas and then dive into deer toasters.

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Okay, Real House Eyes of Dallas.

So I really felt like Real House Eyes of Dallas this week was a really good episode because it gave me like what I really wanted when I started watching Real House Eyes of Dallas, like contra girls, and they weren't being like prissy about anything.

Like the fishing, the off-roading, the Bigfoot hunting, the house, like it was the RV.

Like when the RV pulled up and Brandy got in the driver's seat, like I was shocked.

No, it was hysterical.

And then DeAndre could drive it too.

There were so many great like visuals during the episode, like the girls in the RV, the girls fishing, like when there are three of them sitting on the rock, like laughing, crying, drinking Micheloba

and Brandy falls in and Tiffany's wearing her umbrella hat like that is was just like an amazing visual and when Brandy fell in like for me that was the pinnacle of the episode one because they laughed so hard when those guys were like pulling her out by her overalls and I didn't realize the reason why she fell was because water got inside her overall she literally could have drowned and two The reason she got in the water is because she thought she could just grab the fish that Carrie snapped off of.

Like it was just the perfect like kind of southern moment for me.

No, I agree.

And like typically if I were on that trip, I probably would have

leaned towards going to the wine experience which was so atrocious like i thought the same thing i'm like there's no way i would have chosen fishing and then after i was like those girls had a better day 100 and they got home early and not even because the wine was like bathtub wine like even if they had just been like at a vineyard literally made in a wine even made in a bathtub even if they had just been at like a vineyard that was like what we like an think of as a vineyard and there's a sitting around drinking wine like the fishing looked more fun i know even though they had to like hike to to the fish, and I was like, I don't know.

No, and the fact that, like, this fishing expedition was so, like, obviously fun-looking, but it seemed like an emotionally liberate, healing experience.

Like, Carrie came away from it.

She did an about face, like, from the morning to like crying to Stephanie being so sorry.

And then Tiffany had such a wonderful moment where she was like, realized she had girlfriends, and then in her confessional, she was like, You're not like pledging the sorority, like you're in.

Like, yeah, I agree.

Like,

like, it just was so, it was such a heartwarming moment.

It was.

And they were just like doing the most in that day.

Like, they woke up so hungover up till three, went fishing, went to the winery, came back, and now they have the redneck relay.

Like, it's just a lot.

Like, Stephanie really jam-packed this trip, but it's very clear that, like, all of the activities in like Oklahoma and the people are like so.

near and dear to Stephanie's heart.

And I was not surprised that like, and Stephanie doesn't really kind of like start fights or take anything personally, but I was not surprised at all that she reacted the way that she did to Carrie, being so unbelievably disrespectful and rude, acting like, acting like a beast towards this guy, Charles, who was just like a nice, low-key, like simple guy who was just coming to like share his experience with the women.

Like it was so, I like don't like die for Carrie.

It was so disappointing and so disgusting.

And like I know exactly what Stephanie was feeling.

Like she's like, I invited this guy.

Like it was my name.

Like I invited him and like he left feeling humiliated.

Humiliated.

He came on like and now he's going to be on TV like with this woman saying you probably have a little penis.

Like it was just embarrassing for him like and it's obviously embarrassing for Stephanie but like I didn't even invite this man to my trip in Oklahoma and I'm embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed.

I feel so weird.

I feel so like sad for him like that he just like came to like help like give these girls a fun night and this like not only the small pee-pee comment but also like coming at him for hunting hunting shaming when it's like

This is their way of life.

Like don't go into someone's community and like judge what they do.

Like that's what the lifestyle is.

That's what they do in Oklahoma.

And just like this air of superiority when it's like are you a vegan?

No, right you literally ate hot dog 25 minutes ago So someone else killed what you ate that doesn't make you a better person honestly makes you a coward You can even face the dog that you killed for your hot dog

Pig, whatever.

Yeah, actually a hot dog is scrap meat, so it's actually a bunch of different animals.

Oh good, okay, good Carrie.

Yeah, that really pissed me off.

You weren't like doing anything by taking a stance against hunting when you are a meat eater and you just don't kill what you eat.

Yeah.

So I like, I think she really thought she was doing something.

Even the next day with fishing, like, wait, my morals and ethics, like, what are we doing with the fish?

I know.

I think she was, like, trying to come off really good on the show and ended up, like, I just felt like her motivations for this trip were like to come off like a hero to the audience.

And she ended up coming off like a villain, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it was so, so wrong.

Next week they bring him back.

I know, which like gives me even more of a pit.

Like, leave this poor man alive.

I know, but like, maybe they can make it right.

Like, maybe if Carrie is very

apologetic and contrite maybe they can have a great night with him you know hopefully knocking back some beers redneck really maybe he joins in on the fun okay like i hope so but like i'm like why is this man coming back like he's been humiliated enough no it literally like hurt it was so painful to watch hurt me at my core at my core like

terrible and on tv you know like just humiliating in every way like i totally

understood everything Stephanie was saying, everything she was feeling, the fact that she like spent the whole night crying.

She's just like such a nice person.

100%.

And she's like so unique because

nice is boring but she's not boring like she planned an amazing party she's friends with all of the women like she is so rich like she's really like my favorite and i just like she's so sensitive and like i really felt exactly what she was feeling yeah but she also like doesn't speak up a lot so when she does like take it down and listen carrie no carrie like literally coming in deandre your eggs look disgusting and then laughing while like Stephanie's been crying all night like laughing in her face out of control and I mean the only different like the only thing is that I don't know how Stephanie was like so forgiving, even though Carrie was like so upsetting.

Visibly apologetic.

But the problem is that, like, Carrie probably wouldn't have done any of that stuff if she was sober.

Um,

and so now it's just like the question, like, she really becomes a different person when she drinks.

And that's like, we've seen that sometimes on housewives, where it's like, you're literally a completely different person at night than you are in the morning.

And it makes it like difficult to follow a storyline because you're inconsistent, like,

in how you feel.

So not even on the storyline.

It's like, if you're friends with someone and you love them sober and you can't stand them drunk.

And they drink a lot.

Yeah.

And a lot of, like, what do you do?

No, I know.

It's like difficult.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I wouldn't be able to just like Groundhog's Day every morning, pretend like the day before, like, didn't happen.

Right.

So that's what I feel like.

We're getting into almost like a cycle with Carrie.

And that's going to be like annoying.

It's going to be a challenge.

Yeah.

But it does seem like when,

aside from in the morning, but like when she apologized about the eggs comment, which was a trivial comment.

I didn't, I wasn't.

I didn't even think anything of of it.

I wasn't waiting, like, it was, no, when she said it, I was like, you're so fucking mean.

Yeah, but that's just her.

But I wasn't waiting for an apology.

So it does seem like she's capable of acknowledging her wrong.

Which is huge.

Unlike Wonder and During the Medley.

Yeah, like she's the pinnacle of like why being such an absolute beast with no remorse gets you kicked off a show.

And so Carrie was a beast, but she also had remorse.

So we have no choice but to respect that.

We really do.

We really do.

So if she can make things right with

the big fun hunter, I can can move forward.

I just, I'm really liking this trip.

Like, I'm looking forward to next week.

I think this was like a really good trip for the women.

These women have so much stamina.

I know.

I cannot believe it.

The fact that they drove eight hours and then they were up, like, having dinner until 1 a.m.

and then they went Bigfoot hunting.

Like, what?

No, I know.

Stephanie, like jam-packed the fuck out of this trip.

Yeah.

And who knew, like, Georgia was so close to Oklahoma?

I mean, I guess a lot of people probably know that, but I do not.

Texas, you mean?

What did I say?

Georgia.

Yeah, Texas and Oklahoma.

Sorry.

Yeah, I believe they share a border, but it was like a long trip.

An an eight-hour trip in an RV and they like were driving like terribly.

Like I'm sure a normal person could have gone there in six.

Yeah.

Well, it depends where in Texas you're coming from and where in Oklahoma you're coming.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's true.

But all in all, it was actually a good episode and I've been pretty hard on the Dallas Housewives thus far because it's been like a mediocre season.

But things seem like they might be turning around.

A trip always picks things up.

Always.

And this is like just a good trip.

Like this is what this is what I wanted.

Like I wanted Dallas Housewives to be fighting about Christ and doing red, like not to be so stereotypical, but like that's what I wanted.

Like I wanted fights about church and going to Oklahoma.

Like, that's what I live for because that is not the entire, but that's a lot of what goes on in the South.

Yeah, but I was getting very stressed out at some of like this trip, just the stamina that's required, the hungoverness, like

the everybody sharing rooms, like sharing beds too.

Yeah, which is, it's a big house.

No, I know.

I thought it was a cute house.

I thought it was really cute.

I feel like we should go.

No, that was literally my next thought, like looking it up.

Yeah.

Okay, well, that was the Dallas recap.

And now we can dive into Deer Toasters, which is our advice segment.

So we do this every Wednesday here at the Morning Toast.

It's called Deer Toasters, and if you ever want to write in,

all of these submissions are from our listeners.

Deertoasters at gmail.com is the email.

We can keep it anonymous.

We can change names.

You let us know.

And also, if you've written us in recently, make sure to send us a update.

Okay, first up, Dear Toasters.

You are beautiful, stunning.

You are beautiful, smart.

No.

We're not?

You are stunning, smart, beautiful, and everything of the sort.

I come to you, my gurus, because I need serious help on this issue with my boyfriend.

Here's some background: We've been dating for over a year and we live together.

We're 26 years old.

My boyfriend can be controlling.

He's very jealous and possessive, and it's made me burn bridges with a lot of men from my past, some hookups and flings, but mostly just guy friends.

I didn't necessarily want to do this, but this, but it was a compromise I made.

Oh my god, sorry, I'm having such a hard time reading today.

No worries.

Take your time.

You know, when I said I thought I might be dyslexic?

I'm like, having like

words are like moving.

Let me see.

Let me see.

Maybe it's the size of the font.

No, no, it's the same as always.

I'm just like, my eyes are doing weird things.

Like.

Yeah, eyes could be weird sometimes.

Yeah, okay.

When you're trying to focus so, like, intently on something, they mix you up.

I didn't necessarily want to do this, but it was a compromise I made to make the relationship work.

Now, imagine my frustration when I noticed my boyfriend is still in contact with his ex's family.

He regularly Snapchats his ex's brother, and they even hung out recently.

He also snapchats the sister, and she DM responds to like everything he posts on Instagram.

He dated his ex for about 10 years, starting in middle school, so he uses, I grew up with them, we're close as his reason for keep talking to them.

His ex has moved on, living with another guy.

They broke up three years ago, so I'm not worried about her.

I just find it unfair that he thinks he can talk to people from his past when I can't.

He thinks that all my male friends just want to sleep with me, and that's just really not true.

Am I being crazy and petty that I don't want him to talk to his ex's family, especially if I'm being so restricted on who I'm allowed to talk to?

What do you think?

Love an extremely annoyed toaster.

No, you're not being dramatic at all.

You're not being dramatic at all.

Like, I really am so sorry to you, and I'm sorry to this man, but I hate your boyfriend.

Hate your boyfriend.

Hate, hate, hate.

Like first, when he's being controlling and like doesn't want you to talk to exes or have guy friends, like that's fucking weird.

And like we were gonna, we were gonna work on that.

But the fact that then he is literally still in contact with his ex of 10 years' family, like the hypocrisy, at least.

I had a problem with it even before the hypocrisy.

If you're gonna be crazy, be consistent.

Yeah, apply those.

Be consistently crazy.

Apply those same standards to yourself.

But if you're holding one person to one standard, a crazy fucking standard, and then being so lax with yourself, the inconsistency, it's going to be a no from me.

It's going to be the

inconsistency for me.

And so now you need to look inward and ask yourself if you can live without this man, because I think that maybe you should.

Yeah, because I think even before, like, the fact that he was being so hypocritical, before that, like anyone who restricts who you can talk to, like, there's, there's being controlling, and I am controlling, but then there's being possessive, and I don't think that's a good quality, especially in a man.

And I think it's like a it's a it's just a big red flag.

It's a red flag, but and

it's something that needs to be worked through and worked on.

But if you hadn't said the second half of the story, I would have been like, okay, if you guys are just in this kind of like controlling relationship where you guys don't talk to, like, I would assume he didn't have females that he's talking to, like, maybe that's something that you can work on together.

Maybe a little bit of counseling or you talking to him, explaining, like, something, you know, I wouldn't just throw in the towel, but like the fact that he is a fucking inconsistent controlling mess i'm not interested for you i i really hate this man and i hate this man and um i'm sorry if that's not like what you wanted to hear me but but if you're writing to us like you knew something is amiss i'm sorry something is amiss and i just i i feel like we never give the advice to like break up with someone no we really always try to make it work but i don't like any bit of this and if you're like the fabulous toaster that you are you deserve so much better to live free like that's not normal 10 years from middle school yeah like get a life we're like old now okay next up dear claudia and jackie i am having in-law family drama a few months ago my husband and i planned a small family dinner for our daughter's birthday nothing fancy just pizza and birthday cake it was supposed to sound like the best party ever i was at ice cream cake

It was supposed to be our parents and siblings only.

Due to COVID, we wanted to keep it small, but still celebrate her birthday.

My mother-in-law brought my husband's grandmother without telling us, as we didn't invite any of the grandparents.

I was a little annoyed that she did this.

She seemed to think it was okay because his grandmother is only one person when I still have all four of my grandparents living and I'm very close to them.

A few days after the dinner, my husband gets a call from his cousin asking what happened at our daughter's birthday party.

Mind you, it was not a party.

My husband was confused by this and asked what they were talking about as nothing dramatic happened at the dinner.

His cousin tells him that their grandmother said I was rude to her and I didn't greet her and no one talked to her the whole time and that the cousins have nothing to say to me and won't associate with me because I was rude to his grandmother.

When my husband came to me with this, I was taken aback and hurt as I did not do anything to his grandmother.

I didn't hug her as I usually would pre-COVID, but with COVID, I was trying to keep my distance.

Everyone saw that I wasn't rude to the grandmother at the birthday dinner, so I was a little confused by this.

Fast forward a few months later, now that some of us are vaccinated, this cousin is now making it a point not to invite me and my husband to family outings or outdoor barbecues.

My husband's cousin makes it a point to invite all the other cousins except for us.

It really doesn't hurt my feelings, as I personally don't care, but I can tell it bothers my husband that our daughter is being left out of time with her family.

Am I crazy or am I in the middle of some petty situation for something I didn't do wrong?

Should I apologize for something I didn't do?

What do you suggest?

I can really use your help on this.

Sincerely, a confused toaster.

So like part of me like wants to be petty, but also like you have a daughter and like it's really is not fair that like they're leaving her out of cousin events because like cousins are an integral part of your childhood.

So as much as I want you to be like, I love that you don't care because like it's your husband's family.

Like I'm so glad we don't also have to like placate your feelings of like, you know, know no like living for your realism

um but it's not fair to your daughter you're right so honestly like family's tough but just like do what you have to do to make it right because you don't care so great yeah i would say like not caring is the best thing it doesn't sound like you need to apologize because still like i don't see what you did wrong and like this dramatic granny like needs to like the granny the granny like i just

I can't believe a granny could be so dramatic and like

and just be so like petty and focused calculated.

No, it's like it's just it's the kid's birthday like she hugs you she didn't hug you also like no offense grandma like it's not about you no i know so like and it sounds like granny has like a lot of great grandchildren and she's being petty grandma like right it's her husband's grandmother therefore it's her daughter's great grandma right so you would think like she's above the drama but no she's not no also at some point like in age like you do get to be above the drama just because you're like literally too old for it but i kind of admire the hell out of great granny over here because she's like you know kicking it in her 90s and staying it all about her still starting drama all about granny that's actually like what I aspire to be like such a self-absorbed grandma like making every kid's birthday party about me 100%

but you don't want your husband to be feeling some type of way you don't want your kid to miss out on these times so just like do you confront wherever the issue is coming from be like listen I don't want there to be animus between the family like I'm sorry that granny felt some type of way I was just trying to don't even make it about like my grandparents weren't invited Just be like, I was trying to obey COVID restrictions.

Even though, like, that's why I thought you were going with this.

And that really bothers me.

But because you don't care, you don't actually need to like share how you're feeling.

No, but the fact that you have four grandparents and they couldn't be at your daughter's party, but somehow like other grandma from the in-laws got invited, like that bothers me.

But if you bring that up,

then you're telling Granny that she was right, that you did feel some type of way, and that you did treat her differently because you were upset.

I know what I'm saying.

Don't bring that up, but I have a, I just wanted to like not let that slide.

Like, I have a big fucking problem.

And now, like, you've been saying that you didn't treat Granny some some type of way so you can't you can't justify i treat i was weird to granny because i felt some type of way no but like i literally was not weird to granny like i was so glad she came and like i'm so sorry it's like my covid like say like my social i'm just like feeling socially awkward and i didn't know like this is like so not a big deal like i'm not sure your cousins being so fucking dramatic advice is to squash it say what you need to say get the kid back in the parties move on no like poor little amabelle is being

is being left out of the cousin festivities and that's not okay because the nibblings are waiting for Amabelle.

Yeah, and it's like not fair to the nibblings that they're not getting to hang out with your amazing kid.

Yeah, and I bet Amabelle has like such amazing energy.

100%.

Okay, this is our final one.

Good.

You know what you need to do?

You need to tell Granny it's not that deep.

No, literally, Grandma, like, and also, Grandma, it's not about you.

Like, that's really the moral of the story.

It doesn't sound like Granny's going to respond to that.

No, no, no.

Okay.

Long time listener, first time caller.

Love you in the show so much.

And this is why your advice is very pertinent to my situation.

Okay.

Last week, there was a PGA golf tournament in my neighborhood.

Needless to say, a good time was had by all.

Love to hear it.

Unfortunately, I found myself in the middle of some drama.

There was a couple who are new to the neighborhood.

Oh, this neighborhood sounds like everybody sounds like the beginning of an amazing book.

Yeah.

Yes.

There was a couple who are new to the neighborhood, Jen and Ted.

They were fighting all weekend long at different events in the tournament.

Jen found dating apps on Ted's phone and messages proving he'd been cheating on her right before the weekend.

Cuts a Saturday night, and he shows up to a party with a single girl from our neighborhood that we all all know, Betty.

Oh my god, this really does sound like a book.

Betty was definitely overserved and had no idea this guy was in a relationship with Jen and that they were having drama.

It turned into a huge fight, and they made a scene and they were all kicked out of the party.

Later that night, I found myself in a conversation with Ted at another party where my husband and I were casually hanging with close friends.

Ted started to mouth off about his exploits, and I had had enough.

I told him he was a

hooser and no one in town respects him and a few other

and a few other mean, albeit true, comments.

He proceeds to find my husband and tell him what a bitch i am then they get into a fight because oh my god then they get into a fight because my husband was defending me and ted punches my husband in the face wheel of the party and i was so embarrassed and upset about the whole thing well my husband and i tried to not talk about it all week or glorify fighting so we kept it pretty quiet but all week i was getting calls from people telling me lots of gossip and the story somehow turned into that i punch ted

If only.

What should I do?

Leave it alone?

Clear my name?

I'm so overbeing in this drama, but at the same time, I don't want my name sullied all over my new, all over my somewhat small town.

A toaster seeking justice.

Before we get in, I need to know where you live because this is the life I want.

I want to have golf tournaments on the weekend with tons of parties where men are fighting over women and men are cheating.

Like, I want this with

drama.

We went from one party to the next, and at this party, it was close circle friends, and at that party, they were kicked out.

It's like, where are you living?

That there's multiple parties per week.

I could barely find one party to go to.

100%.

Let us know.

Here's my advice.

Like, you're in a small town.

It sounds like you and your husband, like, you run this town.

That's what it sounds like to me.

Based on.

I didn't get that vibe.

Really?

Like, not that.

No, it's like Ted and Jen are new.

Did you even say they were married or they're just a couple that's like probably broken up because he's cheating on her?

They are a couple.

I am.

Like, I think you, like, if the story comes your way and someone's like saying, I heard this, like, definitely correct them, but don't worry about letting everyone know because, like, Ted sounds like a literal monster and he's going to let his color show to you.

And he has more to prove to the town than you do.

You said it's your hometown.

No, it's like the cream always rises.

The truth will come out and Ted's going to show who he is to other people and then people are going to start to see like you were just a victim of the situation.

And by the way, you should reach out and maybe make an ally with Jen, not only because you were defending her, but like also now you have a common enemy.

Yeah.

Todd.

Yeah.

Ted.

Ted.

Yeah.

So I would just say correct anyone like who's coming to you incorrect.

But don't go like on a mission to.

Yeah, wait for it to play out because Ted's going to expose himself.

Don't you worry about it.

Trash always take themselves out.

Did we learn nothing from the Facebook group?

Good luck to you.

And again, can't stress enough, where do you live?

Yeah.

That's the takeaway.

Thank you to everyone who wrote in and to everyone who didn't write us an update.

Every week I get my cards thinking we're going to have an update and we don't.

Please email us, deartoas at gmail.com.

If we in the last year have read a query of yours on this show, I would love to hear how things worked out.

Please email us, deartoasters at gmail.com.

And again, if you're just looking for some good old advice, got something you got trouble deciding on, deartoasters at gmail.com.

Yeah.

And that's our show.

That is our show.

We will see you tomorrow for another one of our shows.

It'll be ours, right?

Yeah, I think it won't be anyone else's.

How could it be?

It's ours.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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We hope you have an amazing day.

Don't forget to hump someone you love.

We will see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.