S4 Ep43: Parce Morgan: Wednesday, March 10th, 2021

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Wednesday.

It is a virtual hump day for the two of us.

Sorry, Theo.

You're going to have to sit this one out.

Hey, Claude, how you dern?

I am dern good.

Very upset that it's a Wednesday and I'm not in the presence of Theo.

I didn't think about that when extending my trip.

And had I, I might not have extended.

It's good that you didn't think about it then, you know?

Too painful.

It's too painful.

Speaking of hump day you know who'll be celebrating bruce is on the loose he's in full hump mode these days he's getting neutered this week but like he's been humping mom every night it's nuts what do you do when your dog is humping you do you allow it to happen you have to say no the first few times i was fighting him off but he was like scratching and clawing and then eventually i was like just do your thing and then maybe you'll fall asleep I know.

It's like you want him to feel better and like exercise his whatever it is that they do.

But um like behaviorally you're really supposed to tell them no but it's hard okay like i i told him no like i literally was doing everything in my power but he wouldn't take no for an answer so at that point what do i do i i put him off the bed at certain points but then whenever i picked him back up and even an hour later like he was randy again you have to like reprimand him put him in the crate like it's so sad but um it'll be over soon Yeah, it'll be over.

Once he gets neutered, I'm hoping like a lot of his issues go by the wayside.

I'm really like banking so much on this neutering.

It's definitely going to be disappointing.

But other than that, he's just been a dream.

And so if he needs to hump, it's Wednesday.

He has an excuse.

I know.

You just want your children to be happy.

So if that means they hump everything in sight, then so be it.

Also, it's like kind of flattering because he only wants to hump me.

Like I gave him a pillow, not interested, doesn't want to hump his dad, like just his mom.

And I'm so flattered.

Yeah, maybe it's something about the way you smell that like really turns him on.

Ooh, Bruce on the loose.

Well, we have a good show for you guys today.

I felt so good after yesterday's show.

Like, I just felt like, and even though over the course of the day, like, things kept popping into my mind that we didn't really hit on that I had been meaning to talk about, like, we didn't even talk about the Prince Andrew of it all, you know?

I know, I realized that after too, but I felt like we had, but I guess we had, I guess, we talked about it like offline, so it feels like you talked about it online.

You know, it's just like, I mean, we could talk about it now.

I mean, the egregiousness of like what he did, and he's still like sitting pretty and you know, know living his best life and Megan is like fleeing the country.

I don't know if he's living his best life.

I think he is.

He like did it.

The queen pays for his security.

But he had to pay out of pocket for his own security for Eugenie and Beatrice.

Right, because they're not senior members of the family.

Right.

Which kind of

is congruous with everything else that we heard.

So it really is beneficial to like compare everyone's roles and like where they're at.

But it's also extremely confusing.

Yeah, no,

I cannot keep up with like the traditions and the rules and the exceptions and the limitations.

It's very confusing.

I'm just doing my absolute best here.

Yeah, plus like the rules can change.

So it's like,

so just because something's a rule, like that I'm mad that it didn't change.

Yeah.

And it's like, well, why now?

Why this rule?

100%.

But the story is developing and we'll dive into it.

The The queen has responded.

There's so much drama.

I cannot believe that homegirl responded.

So I think we should just like get into it.

You want to get into everything?

Well, actually, if you want me to talk about my day yesterday, I had actually like the best day of my life.

I think that you should because I think a lot of us, including me, are just living vicariously through you and we could use a little joie de viv at this time.

So yesterday I was like spending an absolutely delightful day by myself.

Brian, I'm pretty much on vacation by myself because Brian and Ben are working like from, you know, the hours of whatever it is, nine to whatever.

And

I've just been spending like so much time by myself at the beach and I love it.

And then yesterday, Brian got done early and he like scheduled this thing.

And you know, like when we go on vacation, we straight up like stay at the beach the whole time.

Like we don't do adventures.

We're not those types of people.

But Brian was like, just get ready.

We have a boat, blah, blah, blah.

So he coordinated a beach drop where we took a boat from the hotel.

They drove us like 20 minutes to another island.

They dropped us at the beach and like bounced and they dropped us with like a picnic, with alcohol, with snorkeling equipment.

And I'd never been snorkeling before.

So like me and Brian just like had lunch on the beach.

We'd had a couple cocktails and then I went snorkeling for the first time and it was

everything.

Like I did not think I was a snorkeler.

Like I did not see that in my future, but it was gorgeous.

It was such a cool experience.

And I was like a little afraid, but like Brian is, he like went scuba diving this morning at like six in the morning.

Like he's a pro.

It was so fun.

And I'm like, damn, like, we, like, I wish I did this every vacation, like making the most of my day, you know?

Yeah, we, we've gotten more into stuff like that recently, like, definitely being more adventurous, but it's not in our nature.

So, I'm glad that you went outside your comfort zone.

It always, most of the time, pays off.

And sounds like a beautiful romantic day for you and Brian.

I'm sorry, Ben couldn't be there.

It truly was a beautiful romantic day for me and Brian.

Yeah, that's so nice.

Um, I started a new show last night, The Great on Hulu with um Elle Fanning.

A lot of people,

and it was like nominated for all the awards, and it's a period piece.

It's like Catherine the Great, Russia.

Um, it's okay, it's a little weird and gory, and like, I don't really love it.

I'll probably keep watching it, but it's kind of like a lot.

It's it's like parody, sort of, and I think it's categorized as comedy, but it's just like really, I mean, maybe these things really were happening.

Like, um,

just it, it's,

it, it's really busy.

Yeah, it's a lot.

So, um, I'll keep you guys abreast if I decide to continue on with it.

But other than that, just, you know, another, not, oh, you actually missed a beautiful day here in New York.

Like, the weather yesterday was like a beautiful, beautiful, perfect day.

And so that was definitely inspiring for lots, for lots of people.

No, I heard it was absolutely gorgeous.

Like lots of people's seasonal depression starting to wear off, which is what what you love to see after a year of quarantine.

Yeah, you really do.

Also today, I just am like so sick of my face.

Like I'm so sick of looking at it, of

thinking about it.

So today I am getting my eyelashes and my eyebrows tinted.

Oh, that'll change the scope of history forever.

No, it's going to change everything.

Plus, I just got Botox and like...

Even if I don't like it, it's something different to look at.

And it's temporary.

So like, there's not a lot of pressure with that.

And the last time I got my eyebrows dyed a year ago, um, nobody else liked it in our family, but I did.

So by the way, excuse me, D liked it.

You did?

Okay, cool.

No, I had a lot of haters, I remember, but

I don't see any family.

I don't see anyone anymore, so let me do what I want.

So you can really, you really only have to ask Bruno or Zach what he thinks.

I know, and you know what?

Zach actually didn't really like it, but it's fine.

Whatever.

It is what it is.

Listen, it's like that TikTok song.

I just want to feel something.

I just want to feel.

Even if it's good or bad, like you just want to feel something.

Yeah.

And that's how I feel.

So I'll keep y'all posted on my.

Did you hear that little notification?

Like, doo.

No.

No.

I can't tell you if it's in my AirPods or not.

Did you hear anything?

I heard one earlier.

Okay, yeah.

It's probably a notification on the computer that's coming.

I don't know.

Whatever.

If you guys hear it, Ben has a computer with like 1 million tabs, 1 million applications.

Meeting.

check, check, like chill the fuck out.

Like you would think he's literally like the attorney general with this computer, like jing, jing, jing, ving, ving, ding, like, stop.

So if you hear that, sort of, I can't figure out how to turn it off, but just please bear with me.

Okay, no worries.

I only heard it once, and I'll keep you abreast if I hear it again.

Abreast.

Okay, I think we could get into the past tie stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Love it.

Okay, before we get into the first story, there's just something that we need to say, which is that Harpo is Oprah backwards, and we know that now.

Thank you to everyone who shared that with us.

Like, obviously, feels super obvious and seems like something that everybody knew except for us.

Yes.

But so clever.

Love it.

Yes, when I posted on my story that like I had just kind of understood that Harpo was Oprah Productions.

I guess we were like, we were born a little after the time that would have put us in the category of people who came home from school and watched the Oprah Winfrey show.

So as much as Oprah is my queen, I'm actually not that well versed on the history of Oprah and Harpo.

So this, I apologize, this is all new to us.

Yes.

Okay, first story.

Queen Elizabeth has responded to Megan and Harry's Oprah interview.

She put out a statement from Royal Communications saying, this is the whole statement.

The whole family is saddened to learn the full extent of how challenging the last few years have been for Harry and Megan.

The issues raised,

particularly that of race, are concerning.

While some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately.

Harry, Megan, and Archie will always be much-loved family members.

So, yeah,

this is my thing.

First of all, I thought that this was a photoshopped

thing, a Photoshop?

Like,

what am I?

Photoshopped graphic, excuse me.

When I saw it going around the internet, because the font and like the color and like, like the date was like in a different font.

It was just like kind of janky.

And I was really surprised at the communications team from

Buckingham Palace, first of all.

Second of all, it was so short.

And it's like, they sat down for two hours and like, you give me four sentences.

Like,

I think it's crazy that they responded, period, because we were literally saying yesterday, like, you can really say whatever you want about the royal family because you know, like for the most part, they are never going to respond.

But

not in any like long, meaningful way where it's like, I'm going to respond to every allegation and every story that you just shared.

Right.

I think like the shadiest line in here is, while recollections may vary.

So, and that's kind of what we were saying yesterday.

It's like perspective is everything.

And like, this might be your experience, but this was not their experience, you know?

Yeah.

And I mean, generally speaking, recollections do vary.

That is true.

Yes.

Yeah.

But I don't think there'll be any,

I think that's the end of it.

Like from the internet.

Well, I think

they're going to do a true investigation on who said what about Archie's skin color.

I'm sure they know who said it because I'm sure that there were other people who were in the room during the conversation.

But I feel like on the one hand, people are like, that's it.

That's all that they're saying.

And I just feel like this is more than I ever expected to get two days after the interview.

I think that they might still address it in a more formal manner.

I don't know what their like preferred mode of communication is, whether it would be a sit-down interview or

maybe like an article or something.

But I feel like they had to just put something out there to like let the world know, we saw it, we see it, like we're taking this seriously.

They said as much as they possibly could and honestly was more than I expected to get yesterday.

Yes, I agreed with your sentiment.

Like even though it was only four sentences, you're right.

It's more than I was expecting because I I was just pretty much assuming they were never even going to acknowledge that this whole thing ever fucking happened.

Yeah.

I don't know how they could not acknowledge it, but

I mean, I guess they could have.

I also just feel like the way that it's going down in America versus the UK is so different.

Completely different.

The way that it's being received is so different.

And I also feel like, and weirdly, us Americans, I feel like are being the most invested in this when it's like, we actually aren't invested in the royal family at all, unless you're a fan of the crown.

The show.

And you know what?

So I completely agree with what you're saying because I've been spending a lot of time on Clarence House's Instagram and the royal family Instagram and just like kind of trolling the comments, especially because yesterday,

I guess there's like this.

General like understanding that Charles was the one who said that comment about Archie's skin color.

I have no proof of that, but the internet kind of believes that because I saw on Popcrave tweeted

yesterday, Charles, the Clarence house for Camilla and Charles is like whatever.

They posted a picture of like Charles doing like some, you know, philanthropy, benefiting black communities.

And it was just like kind of overt, you know, like.

And so I went, I flew to the comment section to like see what people were saying.

And it's mostly British people who follow those accounts.

And like, there's no comments.

Like, it's all like, thank you for your service.

Queen, we love you.

Like, there's no kind of trolling happening which I found to be really interesting well I had heard that there was trolling happening on like the ken the official like Kensington account like I feel like Clarence House is like a little small for for people to be going to So yes, then the most recent post from like the Royal Family Instagram was Queen Elizabeth signing some Commonwealth papers and like explaining why Commonwealth Day is so important.

And the comments I read, thank you for your service.

We stand with the queen.

We love the queen.

Like, it's really like, I think just culture, maybe social media culture is different in the UK than it is in the U.S.

Because I was, when I tell you, I was shocked to not see like one negative comment until maybe 15 comments down.

Yeah.

Interesting.

So, um,

yeah, no, I would like to know what's going on over there.

And if it's like, I feel like everyone in America watched the Ober interview.

Like, did everyone in the UK?

I don't think so.

Well, also, it was slightly delayed.

I do believe they only got to see it on Monday night.

It was a full 24 hours later.

Yeah, but like, was it prime time UK Monday night?

Or was it like you have to get it on your CBS app?

That's an interesting question because I did watch it from my CBS app.

I do believe it aired on like BBC.

I think.

Please don't quote me on that.

But I think it was like an affair.

Okay, okay, cool.

Okay, well, let's get into our next story because it's some more Harry and Megan stuff.

Pierce Morgan is leaving Good Morning Britain after controversial Megan Markle comments.

He confirms crazy.

Yes,

he is leaving his early hours news show on the UK network.

People has confirmed, quote, following discussions with ITV, Pierce Morgan has decided now is the time to leave Good Morning Britain.

ITV has accepted this decision and has nothing further to add.

His departure comes after he was criticized for his response to Megan Markle's recent interview with Oprah Winfrey, in which he questions Markle's authenticity while discussing her mental health.

He said, I don't believe a word she says.

I wouldn't believe it if she read me a weather report.

And the fact that she fired up this onslaught against our royal family, I think, is contemptible.

Yeah, so you know what's so crazy, a few things about this.

I think that that's the sentiment of a lot of people in the UK.

And

I don't know what like the culture is like in the UK, but I have a feeling that a lot of people agreed with him and like stand by him.

But I just can't believe like of all the crazy fucking shit Pierce Morgan has done and said, like it finally caught up to him.

Like, that's what's shocking to me about this whole thing.

Yeah, it seemed like that was sort of his role on this show.

Like, to, he's always, like, held these opinions.

And so, not that it caught up to him, but it's like he got, or he had to leave for being the person that he was always on the show.

Right.

But I also, I'm not like, I only have really read some of his commentary on Megan Markle.

I don't watch Good Morning Britain.

And so, I don't know what he contributes like on a daily basis outside of his butthurtness towards Megan Markle.

No, there's such a butthurtness there, but like to me, I knew Pierce,

I keep almost saying Pierce Brosnan.

I knew Pierce Morgan was a piece of shit when he criticized Ariana Grande for leaving London after the Manchester concert.

Like some like that was somehow like a cowardly thing to do, which was atrocious.

And he did apologize, but still, like.

That was disgusting.

So I didn't really care about Pierce Morgan enough to like decide either way.

Like, you know what?

You say crazy shit.

Play stupid games.

You win stupid prizes.

For sure.

And even, like, I'm not a huge fan of Pierce Morgan, but I do like Parse Morgan.

Parse Morgan, on the other hand, I did not know you wanted to get into that because that is complex and it's layered.

And Parse's Morgan, Parse Morgan's work is the impact, huge.

Yeah.

So

that's the latest with Pierce Morgan.

I don't know what he'll do next and I don't follow his career.

So

he only ever pops up when we're talking talking about megan markle

or like he's just like inserting himself in places like nobody asks for like when he's talking about kim or he's just like always starting shit on twitter he's annoying yeah oh yeah he is always starting stuff on twitter yeah but that's like his that's who he's become in a way so i'm just shocked that it ended up like catching up with him Yeah, I think there were a lot of complaints.

I read something like there was like 40,000 complaints to the network.

Well, I'm curious if it was really his decision or if it wasn't.

Oh, I imagine it wasn't, you know, but they at least let him resign as opposed to it being a firing.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

One truly never knows.

One truly never knows, but I do think generally speaking, like when someone is fired, like the company wants to take responsibility for having fired them as if like, you know, they took a stance.

Right.

We quote unquote did the right thing.

Right.

But maybe he resigned before he could get fired.

Yeah.

Who knows?

Who knows?

Okay, next story.

Naya Rivera's dad is ripping Ryan Murphy for broken promises made after her death.

Naya Rivera's father blasted Ryan Murphy for allegedly not following through on promises he made after her death.

Responding to a fan's tweet on Tuesday from July that said she had so much respect for Glee creators Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan after they issued a heartfelt statement about the late actress, George Rivera tweeted, quote, Everyone needs to know what Ryan Murphy really did or didn't do.

I'm about to blow up this story and make sure he knows that I know.

He added in a follow-up tweet, when you are part of the Hollywood elite, some people treat others as they are less than.

Vocalize a good game, but it's as shallow as the sets on stage that they create.

Promises made in public only to fade with time and excuses, even in an unexplainable tragedy.

This appears to be referencing.

Beautifully said.

It's like

poetic.

Poetic.

He appeared to be referencing Ryan's promise to set up a college fund for Rivera and Ryan Dorsey's son, Josie, as he responded, haha, to a fan who asked, did they never open the trust fund for Josie?

Oh my God.

Yeah.

So like that is really crazy.

I mean, I guess we never really follow up on these types of like celebrity promises.

And

I didn't know what that we had to.

Yeah, right.

Like I thought like they all have business managers, accountants, like hundreds of people.

I thought it would get taken care of literally the next day.

So if in fact there was no college fund ever set up, like that's atrocious because to get all, to receive all the praise and, you know, people say, oh, that's so sweet.

Ryan Murphy's so generous.

And then to not actually do it, like, that's so disgusting.

Right.

And whether it was like, I mean, there's, it's two things that could have happened.

Like one, he said he was going to do it, like knowing that he wasn't, which I don't, I can't fathom.

I can't fathom.

But, or he said he was going to do it and then like still hasn't gotten around to it.

But it's like the more time passes, the less it's top of mind.

So it's like, if you were going to do it, the time would have been.

I'm sure now like he's reminded and he's like, oh, fuck.

and we'll probably set it up, assuming, like, that was his intention to begin with.

But that's just, it's not, um, it's not.

Okay, but in Ryan Murphy's defense, the kid, Josie, is five years old.

Like, you do have some time before you need the college fund.

So I don't think, I know it's, it sounds weird that it wasn't set up yet, but like in Ryan Murphy's defense, like he does have like another 15 years before he actually has to do it.

No, I know, but then it's like, if it's a fund, doesn't it start to like earn money for itself?

So the longer it's, it's like, the sooner it's set up, the

better off.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's like something that you accumulate.

Yeah.

No, it's not just a check.

That's fair.

But now we're getting into stocks and that's where

we drop off.

You know, us here at the Morning Toast, we don't cover economics.

Not that often.

Sometimes.

Sometimes, but no, in this case, I don't know how

I don't know how putting the money in before college time would benefit the fund.

Right, but it is shysty.

Like, where is the fund?

Yeah, I'm sure now, like, the fund will be coming, but it's, it's weird to have to, like, follow up on something like that.

Not cool.

Not cool, but I'm sure, I'm sure it's coming.

But also,

let's hear from Ryan Murphy.

Maybe he did set it up, you know?

Right.

Maybe he just didn't like send over the paperwork.

Right.

Who knows?

Probably.

Okay, next story.

Next story: Chloe is talking about her burgeoning family.

She says the pandemic interfered with her plans for more kids.

It was a little delayed.

This is Chloe Kardashian.

She says quarantine got in the way of her plans to have more children sooner.

In an exclusive clip from the Ellen original digital series Lady Parts with host Sarah Highland and OBGYN Dr.

Sherry Ross, Courtney and Chloe talk family planning, with the latter explaining that she definitely intends to give True, who who is three next month, a sibling sooner or later.

Chloe says she and Tristan have made embryos, kicking off the process.

She said, We realize that my eggs aren't strong enough to be frozen.

They should be mixed immediately with sperm to make embryos.

So I actually have made embryos.

And then, you know, with COVID, finding this whole fertility process, if you do need assistance in fertility, it's much more challenging during COVID.

They say, if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

So the one time I'm actually really trying to plan, God is saying, uh-huh, you can't make your plans laugh.

Did Chloe just say, Mon plan, God loch?

Chloe said man plan godlocht, which is our favorite Yiddish phrase.

Is she a Yiddish queen?

She is a Yiddish queen.

She would be.

Wow.

I mean, I,

even though, like, I know everyone rolls their eyes at Chloe and Tristan, myself included, at the end of the day, like,

I just want Chloe to do whatever it is that she wants to do.

And if True can have a sibling, that's amazing.

But I am, like, I'm fatigued a little bit.

I know.

I mean, I was scared to even choose this story because you're always like, I can't even say Chloe and Tristan without like the fatigue coming through.

Can I say something?

Mm-hmm.

I literally feel like Chloe's getting to like a Kelly Rippa point.

No.

Yes, there's so much mindless news out there about Chloe Cardassi.

This isn't mindless, though.

It's kind of mindless.

Like, no, but she's like, literally, okay, this is why I don't know what to do.

What's the point of the story?

They don't have,

they haven't even made plans yet.

So like

they are actively trying to make another baby, Chloe and Tristan, something we've been hoping for and speculating about for years now.

Remember all those episodes where

Chris was telling her to freeze her eggs and she was just like not wanting to talk about it with everyone?

Now she's talking about it publicly.

She's letting us know that she is going through IVF with Tristan.

I feel like I knew this.

Like this is a mindless update.

Oh, I thought that it was like very

open and honest of her.

But

you're right.

Wait, one second.

But I do love when any person with a platform talks about conceiving in like,

you know, having trouble with fertility, going through IDF, IVF, excuse me.

So I give her major credit for that.

And I have a lot of respect for that.

But I'm just letting you know I'm getting slightly fatigued with the Chloe Kardashian, like non-update updates.

I know, and I try, I never really choose them.

If Chloe and Tristan were seen here or they are like, it is what it is.

I think we can all assume they're just a family at this point.

And I'm just happy for Truesdale if she's getting a sibling.

Yes, at the end of the day, it's always what's best for True.

I started calling Bruno Bruisdale.

Oh, that's cute.

Maybe we set up a play date between Bruisdale and Truesdale.

Oh, my God.

And Arendelle.

The cuties.

I can't.

Also, like, that was.

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Love it.

Also, what a perfect sponsor for our previous story.

And also, I feel like another tidbit from that story is that there's an Ellen original digital series called Lady Parts hosted by Sarah Highland and an OBGYN.

I did know that because I follow Sarah Highland on Instagram.

Ah, very, very cool.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Wow, that was fast.

Yeah.

I'm just breezing through.

I mean, because everything is just Harry and Meganese.

So whether it's this show or you're reading like the tabloids, sorry, I don't even want to say tabloids anymore because I'm like, fuck the tabloids.

Yeah, but no, it's like everything else going on in the world is moot.

No, completely moot.

But But Zayn Malik is sending.

Is this the moot news?

Oh, this is some moot news for sure.

Zayn Malik is sending scathing tweet, fuck the Grammys.

Zayn Malik tweeted, fuck the Grammys and everyone associated.

Unless you shake hands and send gifts, there's no nominations considered.

An enraged Malik tweeted on Tuesday.

He said, next year I'll send you a basket of confectionery.

The 28-year-old singer is not nominated at the 2021 Grammys, which airs on Sunday, as his album.

Nobody is Listening, was released in January 2021 before the deadline for this year's show.

Prior to that, he released the Icarus Falls album in 2018.

But his former One Direction bandmate Harry Styles is up for three awards.

So he's not even eligible this year.

No, it said he was, they said he released it before the deadline.

So it counts.

Oh, okay.

Okay, so he is.

That's a confusing way of writing it.

I had to double think for a second.

100%.

So here's my thought.

And you and I were talking before, and I actually agree agree with some of the sentiments in here because, like, you were saying, like, Halsey has also spoken about this publicly about how, like, there's so much politics around Grammys.

And you're right.

Like, there is a part of the Grammys that is like shaking hands, sending, you know, VIP boxes.

Like, just, you have to whine and dine the foreign press or whatever the version.

Yeah, you have to, like, campaign for a lot of these big awards, too, which, again, is just underscores why they're irrelevant.

Yes, but when Halsey says it, I really agree with her because like Halsey is arguably one of the most influential artists like of our time.

Her music is played everywhere.

Like she's cross-genre.

Like I could go on and on.

I could write a thesis about like how talented Halsey is and how I've literally heard her music.

Like I can't escape her music.

Now with Zane Malik, while I appreciate the sentiment, it's worth noting, like I'm heavily invested in pop culture.

I have not heard, I don't believe one iota of this most recent album, like not even one bar.

I have not heard anything.

Now, yes, I haven't sought it out, but popular music finds you on the radio, on commercials.

Like, so I agree with his sentiment, but like, I don't think that's why you weren't nominated.

Yeah, I agree.

I think that's a really good point.

Also,

we reported back when the weekend said something similar that the Grammys are corrupt.

And like, he is another artist whose music like defines our generation and is, you know, you can't live your life without hearing it.

but yeah coming like not everyone who doesn't get nominated can just be like the grandmies are corrupt like at a certain point like it's like well was your music good right so that's the thing the weekend is the perfect example like a disgrace like truly offensive like he i feel the same way about him and halsey like he literally has shaped a whole new genre of music.

Like he's, his music is everywhere.

He just played the Super Bowl.

So like to play the Super Bowl and then not get nominated, like that is an obvious slap in the face.

With Zane, I don't see it as a slap in the face.

I feel like it really didn't deserve the nomination.

Sorry.

Yeah, but it is always interesting to hear when celebrities start to pull back the curtain of these mysterious awards that they really think that we care so deeply about.

And just confirm what we all thought to be true, which is that it's not, you know,

it's based on all of these different politics within the industry.

And it's not, yeah.

Like, and that just delegitimizes like the Grammys, if you win a Grammy, like for best album, like, then it should be that you had the best album, not that you sent them the best gift basket, the best confectionaries.

I completely agree.

But I did think it was interesting how the article compared, like, a former One Direction member, Harry Styles, who's been nominated three times.

So, that's actually an interesting comparison.

Like,

they are not on the same level musically in terms of the reach of their music and the popularity of their music.

So, I think that's actually a perfect example.

Like,

how are we comparing these two albums, Fine Line and Nobody's Listening?

And also, the album being called Nobody's Listening is just like, it's a little too on the nose for me.

No, I know.

I thought the same thing.

So,

well, that's, those are the fast five stories.

And I feel as though you needed to know them.

We have deer toasters today because it is home game.

Oh my God, I forgot.

Since you're just like on an island time, I forgot about deer toasters.

Wow, let's go.

I didn't watch anything on TV last night, so there's no TV recap.

Me neither.

I'm waiting till next week.

I'm still enjoying my week off of like not having every night scheduled.

It's so beautiful and wonderful.

And thank you, everyone, for respecting that.

But I did watch RuPaul's drag race last night with Brian because the most recent episode was the snatch game, which is like the best episode of every season.

I don't know if I've ever explained it to you.

It's like they play a game show where they all basically dress up and do celebrity impersonations, and it's always the best.

And like, some of them are really good.

And something like really weird happened in last night's episode because

far and wide, and it was definitely a controversial choice but Simone played Harriet Tubman and it was hysterical like it was so she was so obviously the winner like not only is it a creative and Rue said you know some people might not find this funny not only was it like a really creative and like risky choice when watching the show like she was the only one making jokes like Simone literally killed it and Simone didn't make it to the top.

I think they were like maybe afraid of like having there being backlash if she won for doing Harriet Tubman, but it was just so different.

And I understand why someone might not think it's like the most appropriate choice, but it was so funny.

And they gave it to Gauntmick, who was good, but she did Paris Hilton, which is like,

you know, it's like basic.

Yeah, 100%.

I didn't watch, but I agree.

It's and like people have done Paris Hilton before, and it's just like obvious.

Like, that's hot.

Like, it wasn't like that creative.

Yes, I agree.

That's an, it's an obvious choice.

So I'm curious if anyone else like thought it was weird that Simone was safe, but not in the top when I thought Simone was like clearly the winner.

Yeah, I'm sure.

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All right, diving into deer toasters.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

About a month and a half ago, my mother-in-law met someone who sells knock-off products.

Although I don't love how expensive designer things are, I don't agree with knocking them off.

I do not own any designer items yet, but I have looked online at what I would want one day.

My mother-in-law asked me to send her a picture of the Louis Vuitton bag I liked so she could check with her friend if she had it.

I was entirely prepared to just decline to purchase when she told me whether or not her friend had it because my husband just bought me a new purse for our anniversary in November.

I'm very picky and I value functionality so I can never just purchase a bag I've only seen online.

She tells me her friend doesn't have this bag and that was the end of it.

Fast forward to the second week of February when my husband tells me he got me the Louis Vuitton bag I wanted.

I was immediately concerned that he spent $2,000 on a bag when he just bought me one.

We don't have that kind of money just laying around and for him to make that decision on his own?

He didn't understand why I was upset because his mother had told him that I really wanted the bag.

Then I realized this was the knockoff bag.

I tried to explain that I didn't ever really want this bag.

I understand why she thought she was helping her son do something sweet, but I'm not, but I'm nothing like that.

I wanted a pair of leggings for Valentine's Day.

And when I told my husband which ones to get me, he said he'd already gotten me something.

So now I'm stuck with this knockoff bag that, by the way, still costs $300 and I'm never going to use it.

What do I do?

Oof, that's tough.

That is so tough.

Like just tough dynamics in play, just like gift that you didn't want and your mother-in-law's involvement.

But also, like, knockoffs are

an interesting territory because I think it's like really like a personal choice.

Yes.

Um, about whether or not, like, you would feel comfortable wearing a knockoff, whether it's like an ethics thing, because it is like copying and illegal, um, or if it's just like when I wear the, when I get the purse that I want, like, I want it to be the real thing.

It's just, it's extremely personal.

So, I think that that's like so wild that your mother-in-law is just like running around getting everyone like knockoffs.

But wait, in the mother-in-law's defense, you never told her that you didn't want the knockoff.

In fact, you actually told her what bag you would have wanted if she would have had it.

So it's not the mother-in-law's fault.

You kind of misled her.

You did because you didn't want to like yuck her yums and be like, I'm not interested in knockoffs.

She's obviously like excited about her hookup.

Jackie, that's perfect.

You didn't want to yuck her yum.

So you were being polite and now it bit you in the ass.

I mean, it's a really fucking annoying that your husband spent $300 on a bag that you are never going to wear.

I think you just need to be honest with him.

I don't know if like the knockoff seller like takes returns.

So this is just definitely not.

This might just be a $300 lesson learned.

And yeah, but you have to, but you can't let the lesson go unlearned.

You have to tell your husband, like, if your mom tries to get me like a janky bag again, please say no.

Please listen to me next time I say I want the leggings for Valentine's Day.

It'll save us a lot of trouble and a lot of money.

Yeah, your husband thinks he just like

he killed it because he's like, I got her the bag she's dying for.

I got it at a great price.

Like, and he doesn't know that, like, that's not something that you would wear.

So, just tell him, and you guys will have learned together.

And he can decide if that's something that his mom should know for the future.

But then just like let him know.

Yeah, but at the same time, if the mom is so super happy with her bags, like I wouldn't yuck her yums.

So don't tell, don't let your husband tell her.

Just like, this stays between you two.

Yeah, but then it's like, if, if she doesn't speak up about the fact that like she personally doesn't want to wear knockoffs, then like maybe next year for her birthday, like the mother-in-law is gonna get her another knockoff.

Like, so yeah, maybe we have to hope that like this is just like a phase for the mother-in-law,

you know,

yeah,

yeah, yeah.

How good are the knockoffs, though?

Send pics, you know, hook us up with the contact info.

Also, like, what was the LV bag?

Was it like this season knockoff?

I know.

I'm like, kind of, well, you know, I have uncovered through TikTok, like this whole world of underground.

Have you heard of DHgate?

Yes, I have.

Oh, my God.

I see people unwrapping their, like, knockoffs from DH Gate.

They come in like full Louis Vuitton boxes, sleeper bags.

Like, it's legit and it literally costs like $15.

It's crazy.

Oh, wow.

I heard of it because I wanted to get, remember that time that Kylie and Stasi Baby went golfing and wore those Chanel outfits?

They were twinning.

And like, like, I really wanted that outfit, but it was like, you can't pay that much for an outfit that you're going to wear once.

So I was like, wanting to get a knockoff version.

I never went through with it, but DH Gate did have a good-looking one.

Yeah.

No, and let me tell you, I'm not judgmental.

Like, I feel like I could see myself in the future, like, not wanting to spend money on a bag and just like buying a fake one.

I don't currently have one, but I do not judge people who do.

Like, I feel, even though it is like illegal, I fully respect the hustle.

Like, we live in a, you know, a designer-obsessed society and like we're just all trying to survive.

Yeah.

And you know what?

Like there are some really good knockoffs and it's like, kudos to you if you can find one.

No, it's like that episode of Sex in the City where they're in LA and Samantha finds that guy who's selling Fendi baguettes out of his trunk.

Yeah.

No, I was walking down the street yesterday and I was turning the corner and there was a Dior book tote on the floor.

And I was like, who would put that bag on the floor?

And I turn and it's like a whole

blanket full of

knockoffs.

I don't know if I've got a knock on the floor.

No, I thought so too before I I turned the corner.

It's a whole blanket full of knockoffs.

I was looking at this Dior bag, which like I've always sort of wanted, but I'm never going to get.

And I was like, how real?

That looks kind of real.

I know.

The thing is, is like you have to be careful.

Like, I don't know if I would buy on the street of New York.

Like, they literally

are so janky.

Like, you'll buy a fake coach bag and instead of like interlocking Cs, it's like interlocking F's.

Like, it's so fake.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it's so fake.

But, and there are some really good ones, not on the, not that I've seen on the streets of New York.

I would be curious to see what your mother-in-law is working with.

Yes, do send a follow-up with the contact info.

All right, next up.

Hi, Clonny and Jackie.

How you darn?

First off, I love your show.

It truly brightens my day and you two always crack me up.

I'm writing because my fiancé's best friend Jack doesn't know if he can make our wedding and I'm wondering if I should get involved and say something to him.

My fiancé was Jack's best man and we flew across the country during a difficult time to support him and his soon-to-be wife, who is difficult to deal with.

Flash forward and Jack says he may not be able to make our wedding.

His wife's twin sister is getting married the next day, and the location is cross-country.

Jack lives out of state and is being told he'll be his future brother-in-law's best man, even though Jack says he feels sorry for him because he doesn't have that many friends.

What hurts me the most is that he told his family about our wedding, and his future sister-in-law still booked her wedding the same day after ours.

Knowing Jack would have to choose, it feels personal.

My question is: Should I text Jack that he needs to be at the wedding?

What should I say?

Thank you for all your help.

I really appreciate it.

Yeah, that's tough.

Yeah, I would send, I mean, I would send a text.

And if it's like important to your husband for him to be there, just be like,

just say that.

Be like, I understand that, you know, you have other, like that it's going to be a tight weekend for you, but it would mean so much to my husband if you are there.

And then put it on him.

And then also, like, then if he can't make it, like, he owes you.

Yeah, but also this is a thing a lot of people are going to have trouble with because in the next, like at the end of the year, I've had like four weddings rescheduled.

I have three of them on the same weekend and I I cannot go to one of them I can make two of them but not the third one like this is something a lot of people are going to be dealing with because so many weddings were canceled so I think everyone should like perk up their ears and listen to what Jackie's saying because you're going to have this problem whether you know it or not like it is going to be in your future in the next year Yeah, like a whole, and especially for, I feel like my age, I feel like like people in my year, at least that's how it feels this year.

It's like this was the getting married year for like a lot of my friends and people my age.

And so all of us are going to be like, well, not me personally, but all of those weddings like are going to be doubled up for this next year.

And so far, I don't think I have a conflict yet, but I won't be surprised if I do.

I have a triple conflict.

Like it's really crazy.

And it's three big weddings.

I know which weekend you're talking about.

It's three huge weddings.

Yeah, that's really sad.

Torture.

We have a third and final one.

It's a little long, but it's, it's insane.

Okay.

Okay.

I need to like, I need to

you know let me make the font a little bigger because like you know i actually think what i've learned from deer toasters and i'm being 100 serious is i think i actually might be dyslexic like i've never thought that before but i really feel like i i am like i'm i have a feeling that i am oh amazing when what i've learned from deer toasters is like it takes me a minute to be able to jump from one subject to the next because i get sort of invested and like even while you were reading the second story like i was still thinking about my stance on knockoffs And then I like miss, I honestly missed the whole thing.

I just answered the question without.

Just basically her best man couldn't come to the wedding.

Okay, that's what I thought.

That's what I thought.

That's such a bad thing.

Okay, but pay attention, please.

No, that's why I said, like, give me a second.

I just need to like clear my slate.

I feel like I'm

a very empathetic person.

I can't just move from one issue to the next.

You know, these things, they stick with me.

You feel too hard.

Okay.

Okay.

Jackie and Claudia, I wish I was communicating under better circumstances because you two are the highlight of my day and are the reason I stay sane with a house full of kids in quarantine.

I'm incredibly REH and I don't even think the brooch can solve this one.

You know, to give you the backstory, my husband and I are very happily married, or so I think.

He's a wonderful dad, a doting husband, and an overall P-JOM.

So I was shook to the motherfucking core when I went to set his alarm for him after he fell asleep and saw Omegle, the chat app we used as teenagers teenagers to mess with strangers.

You know what it is?

Jackie?

I just totally lost you.

So I got, so I was shook to the mother

fucking core when I went to set his alarm for him after he fell asleep and saw Omegle, the chat app we used to use as teenagers to mess with strangers, was pulled up on his phone.

Do you remember Omegle?

No.

It's like a chat roulette.

Okay, that's, I was thinking chat.

So it's like, it's on, it's an app on your phone and you just like you it's is it like chat roulette you just see strangers?

You like you put in a topic like sports or like a lot of people, it's big on TikTok.

So you put in like TikTok and then you just like literally roulette with random strangers.

Oh, right.

You were telling me about it from TikTok.

That's why it sounded familiar.

Yes.

I took a screenshot with my face.

I took a screenshot with my face in the screen and sent him the screenshot.

It's all I could think about.

It's all I could think to do to have any proof.

I googled and tried to figure out whether or not it was a pop-up because my husband is just not the type.

I'm sure so many women say that, but I consider myself pretty in tune.

And he's just not that type.

But here's the thing.

He deleted it from his history by setting his settings to private, which he admitted later.

The next day, he says nothing.

He acts as though nothing happened.

By 2 p.m., I'm fuming that he has ignored it, and I text him.

He immediately calls, and I get a pit the size of Canada because I can hear the guilt in his voice.

He explains that he saw something on his video game about Omegle, and he remembered the app and was shocked that it was still around.

He went to the app just to see what it was like now, he said.

Anyone who has ever been on Omegle knows it's a bunch of flaccid penises and Russian models looking for men for internet sex.

Okay, I just want to bust in really quick.

It's not all that.

I just have to say, it's a lot of that, but it's not all.

Okay.

He swears he was only on it for a bit and fell asleep.

The man doesn't even watch porn.

We've discussed how we don't really believe in it.

But these are real-life humans, not just a video.

I want to trust him, but I cannot shake the pit I have.

I only talk to him when necessary, when we have kids kids and life, etc., and he's not making any effort besides profusely apologizing on the phone that he broke my trust.

It was that he went private to hide it and made that made me flip.

We all Google weird things, but we don't hide it unless we know we shouldn't be.

I cannot bring myself to do the mature thing and talk to him.

I'm too hurt and want to be petty.

In fact, I want to dress really cute and meet a girlfriend for wine so he knows I'm not about to become some lame doormat.

What the hell do I do?

This needs to be resolved, but I am not going to be the one to do it.

If you got Ben or Zach doing this, what would be your next move?

Signed, mom with no job, but apparently a dick of a husband.

Okay, there's a lot to tackle here.

First of all, I love the idea, get dressed, go for wine with the girls.

You should do that regardless of whether or not your husband's on Omegle.

And I think I agree.

Like, you don't want to feel like a doormat and just go feel fabulous and do something fast.

Yep.

Now, the next question, which was, what would you do if you found Zach or Ben on Omegle?

So I'm trying to put myself into your shoes.

And I think that what I would do, considering it sounds like everything else you're saying, like your husband is a good man and you guys have a good relation, a good and trusting relationship to the point where like you guys have each other's phone codes and everything.

I think I would really, I would need to understand

like 100% what you were doing, who you saw, what you spoke about.

And what led you there?

Right.

What you thought you were doing, like what you expected to see, what you wound up seeing, how long do you, how much time did you spend there?

Like, I would,

I would need to know every single detail in order to like make peace with it Because you know what?

Like, sometimes people just get curious, and he didn't do anything illegal.

He didn't cheat on you.

Like, maybe he just, you know, it's not the most kosher thing to do, but like

it's human nature to just be curious about things.

Yeah, I'm trying to put myself in your position.

And honestly, like, if I saw Ben was on O'Mango, I would mock him endlessly and then we would go on together.

Like, that's what I would do, but I'm a different breed of woman.

So I think that it's very natural for you to feel like hurt especially because it's the lying it's like the privacy so it's never the crime it's always the cover-up like right but it's like

he didn't he went private i don't know if it's because he like didn't want his wife to see because he was doing something wrong or like because he's embarrassed like it's you know it's like oh i i did this like i don't maybe he was who knows he got bored or curious and like just did something kind of weird and and hid it because he was like embarrassed and didn't want you to see it not because like he now has a new girlfriend from omegle yeah like i really think you just need to sit down and talk to him and be like give me like like and you have to say it like you're literally talking to a child like i will not be mad i just like need to know like what brought you here what what kept you here like what intrigued you like i just need to know all the facts and then we can move on but like if you're your curiosity about what's going on is killing you so just be open and honest be like i'm not gonna be mad i just like need to know like what the fuck you were doing yeah and be like ultimately i do trust you i'm just having a hard time like reconciling this.

So I just need all the information to be able to move on from it.

And I think that this is something that you guys can move on from.

I think, I think that he is feeling embarrassed.

And due to that embarrassment, he will never do it again.

But for your peace of mind, you need more information.

Definitely more information

is key here.

Right.

And then like, see what he tells you, what he saw, what he did, what if there, if it goes by categories, like Claudia said, say he joined the

sports.

Sports, like then, and he says he saw these people, whatever.

Then maybe later you go on to Omegle, go to sports and see if it lines up.

Yeah, ask what category he was in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You need to get as many facts so that, and then also get all the facts.

And then in a year from now, ask him again what he did on Omegle and see if the story lines up.

Oh, set an alarm in your phone, like calendar, remind me, in one calendar a year.

No, setting an alarm in the phone is how she got into this.

Well, I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, but hopefully you guys will work it out.

I have all the faith in you.

I do too.

It's not, it's not the end of the world.

But it is the end of our show, because that is truly all she wrote.

So, thank you guys so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So, that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Cast Box, all the places wherever you listen to podcasts, find us.

The Morning Toast, leave a five-star review about a beautiful, stunning,

and smart we are.

Hope you have an amazing hump day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.