S4 Ep37: One Girl, Two Chains: Wednesday, February 24th, 2021

Good morning millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Wednesday.

We are humping from afar.

Hey, Claude, how you dern?

We are doing a socially distant hump, but it's still just as gratifying as ever.

Yes, and you still have Theo there.

And I do have Bruce, and I've never really celebrated hump day with him, so maybe today will be a beautiful day for the two of us.

Well, as a reminder, here at the Morning Toast, hump day is our favorite day, and it is a perfect day of the week to hump someone or something you love consensually.

Consensually, we love to see it.

How is Theo now that he's the subject?

He's just so perfect.

Like literally, we had one of those days yesterday where I was, I got like some sort of like stomach issue.

I won't go into detail, but it was just, if you see on my Instagram stories, I posted one story yesterday.

Like I was so busy running to the bathroom.

So he was just like really there for me in an emotionally supportive way, which I really appreciated, especially because I was getting like, you know, when like you don't feel good, you get like the chills?

Yeah.

Theo is like this warm ball of fire and he was just like warming my loins.

So I'm much better today, thank God.

But Theo was really, really there for me in a dark time yesterday.

What do you think happened to you?

You know, I don't want to blame.

I don't want to blame anyone or anything, but I really feel like maybe something Ben coaxed me gave me food poisoning.

Wow.

I mean, that's a big claim.

No, I mean, it is.

And of course, I was like so nervous because like you, nobody gets sick this year unless it's COVID.

So I ran and got a test because I'm like and I'm telling the nurse I'm like I'm having all the stomach problems and she was like gastroentinologist issues are not No gastrointestinal issues are not a sign of COVID So she made me feel better and then I got a test and I was fine But I was just like so nervous about like my stomach ache, but also like do I have COVID?

Yeah, they are on the COVID symptom list, but they're at the bottom of the list.

Yeah, not the priority symptoms.

It's just like diarrhea, which like I had so much more than that.

Like it was such a journey.

Um, I have a question for you.

So, if Ben did give you food poisoning, like, do you think it was intentional or accidental?

The thing is, is like,

I don't know how Ben wouldn't have gotten it.

That's the thing, but he also has like an iron stomach, and I have a very sensitive belly.

So, I don't, and I'm not saying I know, maybe it was like some sort of stomach bug that you just like randomly get.

Maybe I like a parasite.

I don't know.

I was thinking, like, I was thinking maybe like Theo gave me something.

Like, I really, it was so bizarre.

It was like a 12-hour torture fest.

Yeah, damn, sounds intentional.

No, like, somebody really fucking came for me.

Oh, for sure.

But you're feeling okay today?

Yeah, I mean, if you hear any rumblings, my stomach is making the weirdest sounds.

Like, I've never heard anything like it, but my spirits are much better.

Like, I was literally crying for most of the day yesterday because I was so, like, so nauseous.

Damn, that is the worst feeling.

And we're glad you're doing better.

Thank you so much.

I'm, I'm so much happy, like, so happy to be happy.

Yeah, oh, I know the feeling.

yeah i do i do um yesterday i finished downton abbey the tv show last night and it was it was so bittersweet because the way that they ended it like it just couldn't have been any better of a tv ending like the gang's all here old characters coming back like so beautiful and then i watched the trailer for the motion picture that came out uh about two years ago and that's obviously my activity today and i'm

so excited it looks so good did they release it in the theaters yes

And so I wish, obviously, that I had been a downtown fan for that excitement.

But then, of course, after I finished the show, I started Googling like the entire cast.

And I saw an article that Hugh Bonneville, who plays Lord Grantham, who's actually kind of thirsty in real life.

And I need to stop Googling because it's like ruining the show for me.

But he said that they're doing a movie number two.

So I can get in on the fanfare.

And that's exciting.

Exciting.

Yeah, they like probably, they haven't really started it.

It seems

like in the post-COVID world, like, that they will get to that.

And I'm, I'll take it whenever I can.

I'm just really excited.

So, I know Bruce is really excited to watch the movie today with mum, and it's just gonna be a fun activity for us today.

It's gonna be a Bruce and mum kind of day, it's always a Bruce and mum kind of day.

I don't even know what accent it is that we're doing, but it's a Bruce and mom kind of day.

Just changed it because, like, my accent had been like Mrs.

Patmore from mine was just British downtown.

Yeah, that would be Mrs.

Patm.

A Bruce and no, that's not British, actually.

Okay, I'm really not good at accents.

A Bruce and Mum, kind of day.

You just sounded like Mrs.

Dafire.

Oh, so she is from London.

Someone being a pretender.

Oh my God.

So we have a great show for you guys.

It's Wednesday, which means there's lots to do.

Weirdly enough, the Real Housewives of Dallas just decided not to air on Bravo last night.

I go to Bravo.

I'm like, literally, I'm in so much pain with my stomach.

And I'm like, you know what?

Just give me something to distract me and then I'll fall asleep so peacefully.

Fucking Christly Knows Best is on.

I'm like, what the hell is this shit?

I've never like cotton to Christly Knows Best and then I'm like, okay, I guess it's on afterwards.

And then it was like,

it was

Margaret Joseph

and Dolores watching an episode of Dallas together.

I'm like, why am I watching this?

So there wasn't an episode for literally no reason.

It was not an episode.

And for me, I realized I had one more episode of Downtime, but I was like, okay, I have to go do my homework and watch Y'all Houses of Dallas.

So I went over there and there was no episode.

And I I was like, joyous.

This is for me.

So I can watch my final episode.

So I can watch, spoiler alert, Lady Edith become Lady Hexam.

Okay, I don't know what that means and I'll probably never watch it.

You probably never will.

I just, I can't believe it's over.

Like, I didn't even know I was, you guys know, I didn't know I was on the last season until yesterday.

I thought I was like on the second to last season, and now it's just you did that really fast.

Not really.

I started down to when I started my juice cleanse.

That was over a month ago.

Six seasons.

That's like not bad.

I guess.

I took a lot of breaks, but then when I went hard, I went super hard.

Yeah.

So the TV recap segment has been erased from today's itinerary, but it's Wednesday, which means it's Dear Toasters Day.

So I'm really excited for that.

That will be after the Fast Five stories.

Some interesting inquiries from our listeners who are struggling.

Yes, we look forward to giving you some of our advice.

This is your midweek reminder that the Toast Movie of the Week will be recapped on Friday, and this week we are watching Coming to America, starring Eddie Murphy and our Queen of Beverly Hills, Miss Garcell.

And it is our last week of doing Toast Movie of the Week in honor of Black History Month.

And I hope you all have enjoyed this journey with us.

I know I have.

Yes, and I'm really excited to watch this movie as well.

Me too.

It's like one of Ben's favorite movies.

It's one of those things, like that and Batman, that he couldn't believe I'd never seen.

Yeah, oh, that'll be great for you guys to watch together.

Yeah, and I already watched Batman, and it was good.

I was really just waiting for that line.

You know, the line.

Which one?

The one that Ariana said in Vanderpump Rolls.

Oh, you either die the villain, the victim, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

No, you either die the hero.

Yeah, and it was like so pertinent when Sheena said it.

I know when Ariana said it.

And I'm like, I got to know the context of this quote.

So that's really why I watched Batman, and it was good.

It was okay.

I didn't know that was a quote from Batman.

Oh,

I thought it was an old adage.

Well, I thought it was too.

So I started using it in everyday life.

And I said it to Ben once, and he was like, why are you quoting Batman?

And I'm like, honey God, I'm quoting R animatics.

That's really funny.

And then quick update, by the way, I don't know if I mentioned, but you know that on my cameo, I reached over $11,000 in donations.

I know because I saw it on your Instagram story because you started using

it.

You started using TextOnd Did.

Yes, I did.

I started using it.

And that's amazing.

And I just haven't been wearing makeup, so I have a few more to do.

I feel like I might reach 12,000, which is so crazy, all being donated to the Equal Justice Initiative.

So, if you're looking for a gift for someone for an anniversary, a birthday, or just an all-around mood booster, I'm big in the mood boosting community, head over to Cameo, you can book me, and 100% of the proceeds for Black History Month are going to the Equal Justice Initiative, which is a fabulous organization that does great work on prison reform.

And we actually watched the movie about the founder, Brian, last year during Toast Movie of the Week, and it was called Jess Mercy, starring Michael B.

jordan so it's a full circle woman here at the morning toast yes it really is also what's so great about claudia um being on cameo is what's so great

period

you should just stop being on but no okay i mean that's a different conversation and that could just go on forever

But what's so great about Claudia being on cameo is that you can book her and you can have her say whatever you want, whether it's happy birthday to someone you love or whether it's to get her to admit all the things that she's been wrong about in the past.

Yes, so in the spirit of philanthropy, Jackie booked a cameo that she paid for for $200 and she used it as an opportunity to embarrass me.

No, I used it an opportunity to right some wrongs.

Yeah, okay, say what, sure, sure, whatever.

I mean, you paid for it and I am a woman of my word and it's a worthy cause.

Yeah, so I'm sure you guys saw she finally admitted her love for Maverick.

Duh.

Like, it only took $200.

And she finally admitted that my culottes were very cool when I wore them.

You put the cool in culottes.

Yes, and she admitted that I am Theo's favorite auntie, which if you watch the show, you know.

And she also admitted that Theo has been asking to come over more.

And I think we should get the boys together.

I really do.

I think we should as well.

Also, one really quick milestone that I've been waiting to announce is that I finally reached 100K on TikTok followers.

And now I really feel like I am like a TikToker.

Like the three digits is like legit.

That's good.

I'm happy for you that that happened for you because I know that was important.

Yeah, I was like embarrassed by my following, but now I'm not.

And feel free to follow me at Girl With No Job.

Very cool.

Thank you.

Any accomplishments or milestones you want to share?

Hmm.

I don't know.

I can hardly remember what I did yesterday.

I did a Peloton, but I didn't have a personal record, so

nothing to share there.

But no, that's about it.

Actually, Claudia and I filmed our, we filmed a video for Patreon yesterday, each of our individual skincare routines, all the products that we use, and some of our favorite tips and tricks.

So that will be available probably today.

I'm excited to watch yours, Claude.

Are you excited to watch mine?

I'm excited to watch yours.

I'm like nervous, like skincare, people are really like judgy about skincare, you know?

And like one time I put up like a skincare IGTV and I got, I deleted it.

Like I got roasted.

So I'm in the queue really

cultivated skincare.

I've done research via TikTok.

And so this is my first time like putting it out there.

And I am nervous because people are like, well, you don't use a toner, you know, like I just do what

I just do my own thing.

Yeah, no, and you have to do your own thing.

It's like Jerry Seinfeld says, skincare is more personal than food.

He did say that.

He does.

He says it all the time.

Okay, now I'm all warmed up.

I could take off my robe.

I'm nice and you're looking so sexy in your blouse.

Thank you.

It's a nice little teacap.

You're the one looking sexy.

You're wearing like a cold shoulder.

Oh, hardly.

Yes, you guys, you need to see.

I'm taking a picture of, I'm taking a screenshot of our FaceTime.

Three, two, one.

Oh, God, I locked my phone.

Grandma, you need to be a little bit more.

Wait, hold on, hold on.

Hold on.

Three, two, one.

Okay, got it.

That can be the picture for today's episode.

But no, Claudia is wearing like this sexy top.

I asked her before we started, like, why is your top so sexy today?

It's from Boohoo.

It's like a pajama shirt.

Claude, you have like crisscross on your shoulders, like cut out sexiness.

People are going to be disappointed when they see the actual photo.

Also, really quickly, remember when I FaceTimed you yesterday and then you call me back and I couldn't remember what I wanted to tell you?

Yeah.

It just came to me.

Story of our lives.

So I got into Drag Race UK yesterday.

And I only watched the first episode because then I started

vomiting and gagging.

But the first episode, it's like, it's very funny because like Rue and Michelle are still the judges and they're like so into like, you know, royalty and the queen.

And the first challenge was like, give us your best queen look.

So they all dressed up as the queen.

One of the contestants who ended up winning did her dressed as like a huntress in Balmoral.

And he looked just like her from the crown.

It was so funny.

I was actually thinking that you might like Drag Race UK because it's queeny vibes all around.

Wow, that actually sounds amazing.

The outfit was like literally stolen from the set of the crown and the wardrobe trailer.

It was crazy.

That's hysterical.

Yeah, no, I actually think you would like it.

Okay, I'll add it to my content plate, but after Downton, I don't know, I'm gonna need,

I'm gonna need a moment, maybe like a book in between whatever comes next.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, I think without further ado, we should get into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And that's true, but...

After all the activity my mouth went through yesterday, I really have a new appreciation, an even bigger appreciation for my brooch, which is my favorite product that literally has ever come across my bathroom counter.

And it is the electric toothbrush that you need in your lives, and they are the sponsor of today's episode.

So, a lot of electric toothbrushes do a decent job, but they are like crazy expensive.

Bruch is the one that I found that works the best and is the most reasonably priced.

And of course, we have a discount for you.

But the brush itself has six unique modes to customize your brushing experience.

They have a daily mode, they even have a tongue mode.

So, the brush itself has a four-week battery life, and it comes with a magnetic charging stand and a travel case.

But if you're traveling, honestly, it lasts four weeks, you probably don't need to bring the magnetic charger with you, which is great.

They also offer a subscription program.

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So electric toothbrushes are great for a million reasons, but they're also way more sustainable than plastic toothbrushes.

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Love it.

Sign on, get your teeth right.

And your breath.

So important.

Don't forget when you see the morning breath.

And now we're not because of Bruch.

Yep.

That's why we're no longer.

That's why we're not the morning breath anymore.

Oh my God, wait, do you remember how like a week ago I said somebody sent me this like random influencer starting a podcast called The Morning Breath with Seth?

I think his name is.

Yeah.

The video, I guess, like it's going viral.

It came up on my TikTok today and had like millions of views because he like interviews his cute little daughter.

And it's like the morning breath has literally been resurrected.

Wow, I'm happy for them.

You know, I still think it's like a hysterical name and obviously didn't work out for us.

And then we got a brooch and so it just didn't align anymore.

But it should get out there.

But, you know, good luck to anyone who wants to take on that name and that SEO Google search.

Yeah, the SEO is going to be an uphill battle for you.

The legacy we left at the Morning Breath is so disgraceful that I don't know why anyone would want to take the name.

They obviously haven't run SEO checks yet.

Yeah, he's one quick Google search away from changing the name of his podcast.

100%.

Okay, well, speaking of podcasts, welcome back to the morning toast.

Our first story is the big news of the day.

Tiger Woods is awake, responsive, and recovering after a car accident in

California.

Tiger Woods is now awake and recovering following his rollover car accident in Southern California on Tuesday morning.

In a statement issued to his official Twitter page on Tuesday night, Woods' team gave an update on the Golf Pro's condition.

Woods, quote, suffered significant orthopedic injuries to his right lower extremity that were treated during emergency surgery by orthopedic trauma specialists at Harbor UCLA Medical Center.

The doctor went on to explain in the statement that Wood suffered from fractures affecting both the upper and lower portions of the tibia and fibular bones were stabilized by inserting a

rod into the athlete's leg.

He also suffered additional injuries in his foot and ankle that have been stabilized with a combination of screws and pins.

I mean, anyone getting into a car accident like where they have to use the jaws of life is so scary.

And I'm so glad he's okay, but it's like it adds another layer when the person is a professional athlete and like arguably the greatest golfer of all time.

Yes, definitely.

It was definitely a scary story to read yesterday.

And so I'm glad now the update is that he is awake and recovering and responsive.

Yeah.

Also, Tiger Woods has been in the news a lot lately because of this new documentary.

Have you watched it?

No, what documentary?

Oh, he has a documentary that's like all about him.

That's kind of reminding I watched it like over Zach's shoulder a little bit, but it's reminding me of the Michael Jordan one that came out.

So it's all about like his career and his life.

And so he's just been like top of like mind lately.

And so this is

just incredibly sad.

And also it harks back to the car accident that he got into a few years ago that sort of was the beginning of

a low point for him.

So yeah, he got a he got arrested.

Right?

Yeah.

He had he got like a DUI and

or DWI.

And so I just hope that everything's okay and that he's on his way to recovery.

Wow.

I mean, not, I'm so happy that he's hopefully going to be okay, but that's like so scary.

But when you were describing the

injuries, like I couldn't help but think of the iconic song from Hannah Montana: My bot has many parts, and this is where

it's

10.

And

I got some tarsals too.

I'll put them in my shoe.

She's telling the truth.

The fibula is next.

According to my text.

According to my text, then comes

Tibby.

That ain't no fibia.

That ain't no fibia.

And now I'm down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Checking your throat

off.

Okay, but like, let's go to the next one.

This is just why we have to get back into the studio to record these bops.

I don't even know what that is.

Because that is such a great...

That is such a great song, and I learned so much from the bone dance.

Like, I know every bone that makes 206.

I found a way that clicks.

So, yes, internally grateful for the medical lesson from Han Montana and also grateful that Tiger Woods is doing well.

Yeah, when I was a kid, I was like always hoping like in biology or whatever class, like I would get to know the bones so that I could really use that song to help me.

And for some reason, it just never came up in my curriculum.

Yes, but you know, that song did help me inadvertently because that was around the time that we were tasked with memorizing a poem in my English class.

And the, I was about to say professor, the teacher said, I was a sophomore in high school.

The teacher said that we could memorize the poem or we could set it to lyrics if that made it easier for us to memorize and we could sing it.

And I was the only one.

You're the lyrical queen that you are.

Right.

Being the musical, never stop singing queen that I am.

I took him up on the lyrics route.

I was the only one and I sang an entire.

Please just sing for us.

Really, really sing the whole, not the whole thing.

Just like a bit.

Okay, I just want to get the name of the.

It's called Like as a Huntsman.

It's called Like as a Huntsman, but I want to get the name of the poet because I want to give him credit.

Edmund Spencer.

Yes, that's him.

I'm getting like very triggered right now.

Of course.

Okay.

And a five, six, five, six, seven, eight.

Like, I can't.

This is hurting my soul because I sound like a sophomore in high school.

Okay, okay.

Here we go.

It's to the tune of

it.

They do deserve it.

It's to the tune of Life's What What You Make It by Hannah Montana.

But it's like as a Huntsman by Edmund Spencer.

The same but different.

Like as a huntsman, after weary chase, weary chase.

Seeing the game from him, escaped away.

Escaped away.

Sits down to rest him in some shady place

with panting hounds beguiled of their prey.

So after long pursuit and vain assay,

when I, all weary, had the chase forsook,

the gentle deer returned the selfsame way,

thinking to quench her thirst at the next brook.

There, she, beholding me with milder look,

sought not to fly, but fearless still did buy

till I in hand, yet her half trembling took, and with her own goodwill, her firmly tied.

Strange thing we seem to see.

You said the whole thing.

You said the whole thing.

Don't disrespect Edmund Spencer.

Don't disrespect Edmund.

I have a question for you.

Did you really memorize all that right now?

Or are you looking it up online?

100% memorized.

Really?

It is ingrained into my DNA.

I couldn't forget it if I wanted to.

I'm shocked.

I know.

And you also made me sing it recently.

And so it was refreshed then.

It's an iconic story.

Like, I wasn't even in your grade, but I was with some of my friends from high school and they brought it up.

And they were like, how did that go again?

So I made Jackie send me a voice note.

Like every kid in every class in every high school in Manhattan, like knew that because it was such an iconic performance.

It shook the hallways down.

The hallways were sick.

They had to go to the nurse's office.

No, it was like a really, it was just so, so crazy.

And you guys know I'm like so shy.

And it just,

was shy back then, too.

I was really shy, it was like a really new student, still, but it also like cemented some friends for me.

It was a very transformative experience, like, I think because people were very like impressed with my cojones, yeah,

and so I wound up making some friends out of it.

And I'm not even shitting you guys, like, that song changed my life.

Oh, you should write a letter to Hannah Montana fan mail.

That's so sweet.

Okay, moving on

to our next story.

A little happy news.

Ellie Goulding is pregnant, expecting her first child with her husband, Casper Chopling.

She's not a ghost, Ellie Goulding.

What is it?

Ellie Goulding.

It's Ellie Spooky Goulding.

Ellie Goulding.

It's Ellie Goulding.

It's Goulding.

You're really angry.

I see an O.

Like a ghost.

I see an O-N-A-U.

It's Goulding.

I don't know about that.

I don't know about that either, but it's not Goulding.

It's Ellie Spooky Goulding.

Ooh, this story is chilling.

It is chilling, but

she's announced in a good way.

She's announced in Vogue, like so fabulous, that she's pregnant with her and her husband, Casper Jopling's first child.

The couple discovered they were expecting around their one-year wedding anniversary.

She said that was not the plan.

The thought of getting pregnant didn't seem like it could be a reality.

Becoming pregnant kind of made me feel human.

That is so sweet.

The

photos that she shared with Vogue are just so stunning.

And I feel like Ellie Golding, first of all, I love Ellie Goulding as a singer-songress.

I love her so much.

I think Love Me Like You Do was my number one played song of the decade.

Yeah.

Of the decade, which is so crazy to win that title.

I must have had to listen to it 10,000 times.

Yeah.

I love Anything Canada.

So I just love her.

I love Ellie Golding.

Yeah, I love Anything Can Happen by Fifth Harmony on X.

Yeah, honestly, that's how I found out about the song.

No, it's Harmony.

It's such a good song.

It's a form of fun.

A Peloton ride I did recently, like played Anything Can Happen.

I was like, anything can happen.

I'm on the bike like do, do, do, do, do, do.

Honestly, it's such a good song.

I'm so glad you respect it as well.

Um, you know, I saw this on Instagram because I happened to follow Ellie Golding because, um,

she follows me.

And

what I found so interesting about her is like, I really forget, like, of course, she's super, super famous, but she's really like a UK celebrity.

Yeah.

So I think think she also is married.

Like I don't keep up with her in that way because she's not like a, she's famous in America, but she's not like an American celebrity.

No, but I also think she,

I don't know what the word is for this.

Maybe it's that she's just like private, but she's not like a tabloid celebrity.

She's just like a famous artist.

She's a talented

celebrity.

She puts out her art.

Yeah.

And then she doesn't do all the other celebrity things.

No, you're 100% right.

Like even her Instagram is not like thirsty.

She doesn't take like, you know, Jackie Oflo pictures.

It's just like promo and philanthropy so you're right and i don't know if that's if that's a choice on her part or like maybe people don't care about her personal life but i don't think it's the latter but you know what she actually

get news we get fed news about like the most boring uninteresting celebrities and it's like nobody asked for that either yeah but she does have a really interesting personal life like there's so much to unpack there she was dating calvin harris forever she was friends with taylor swift and then taylor started dating calvin harris and ellie golding and taylor were like never to be seen again together also she dated Ed Sheeran and she cheated on Ed Sheeran with one of the one direction.

I think it was Niall Horan.

Wow.

And there's a song.

There's an Ed Sheeran song about her.

So like she actually has like a deeply personal, deeply interesting personal life.

Yeah.

No, but like, I want to hear from her, you know?

Yeah.

What?

All so interesting.

I also thought like when she was dating Calvin Harris, it was the perfect couple.

Like I thought it was truly OTP.

Yeah.

And I also felt that way about Taylor Taylor Swift.

So did I.

Yeah.

Maybe, maybe just Calvin Harris is not the guy for us.

No, I guess he's not who we think he is.

So sad.

But we're happy for her.

Okay, next.

We are happy for her.

And next up, we have some housewives hanging out news.

First, sober sisters Bronwyn Wyndham Burke and Leah McSweeney are hanging out in Miami.

I want to get your thoughts on this because.

Because Leah's in Miami?

Oh, because Leah's in Miami, like when she called out Ramona at three weeks.

She gave gave her a big, like, ta-da.

And I know it's just interesting.

Yes, but also, like, I like Leah and I don't like Bronwyn.

And so, like, I know Leah hanging out with Bronwyn, it's just like the stock is tanking.

Yeah.

Real Houses of New York star and Real Housewives of Orange County stars, Bronwyn Wyndham Burke and Leah McSweeney, who have both been open about their battles with sobriety, spent time together while vacationing in Miami.

Bronwyn posted a sweet snap with her youngest daughter, Koa, and Leah, captioning the shot from apples to oranges.

Oh, that's actually really cute.

Thank you for always being such an amazing, supportive human.

And then she commented, sober sisters followed by hearts.

No, like the

soberness that connects them is really like sweet and admirable.

And I'm glad that they found each other in this crazy Bravo universe.

But I low-key do not like Bronwyn and I like Leah.

And you're right.

Like her stock is tanking.

Yeah, like

I just.

If she's going to hang out with anyone from the Bravo universe, like Bronwyn, really?

No, yeah.

It's like of all the women in all the cities, you had to walk into Bronwyn's house.

Yeah, 100%.

And like you said, like it is interesting that she's like running around Miami doing all the things she accused Ramona of doing.

six months ago.

Right, like Ramona fled New York during the lockdown and she quarantined with Avery and Mario in Mario's condo in Florida.

And it was like a huge thing at the reunion.

Like Ramona and Ramona had gotten COVID and then got donated her plasma.

And like they were like a lot of the women, mostly Leah, were just like leading leading this charge that like Ramona was irresponsible.

And don't get me wrong, Ramona has definitely been spotted around New York City like without a mask.

She is not the COVID,

the ideal COVID citizen.

I haven't seen that she's been in New York without a mask.

It's all over Dumas.

People like taking pictures of Ramona at restaurants, in parks, on the streets, like no mask in sight.

And if it is, it's that like weird one that doesn't do anything.

It's like that plastic mouth thing.

Plastic, like the one that's a shield?

No, the one that she wore in the reunion that like goes over your nose and it's like so bizarre looking.

Oh, I forget.

Whatever.

So it's become like the signature Ramona thing.

So I'm not saying, I'm not in any way defending Ramona's COVID behavior, but like if you're going to be the type of person who like calls out other people on COVID, like, you did that, like, you got to be perfect.

And Leah, I don't know if fleeing to Miami when, you know, numbers are going up here in New York and in Florida, I don't know if that's the best COVID practice.

And I'm not judging because I don't care what other people do and nobody should care what I do.

But nope, I just, I'm not, I just don't like hypocrisy.

Yeah, if you're going to call people out, like, and then go do the same thing, like, it is a little, mm-mm.

Yeah.

Also, a little other Housewives Hanging Out news that made waves for a very funny reason that I think you're going to laugh at.

Gina Keogh and Vicki Gumbelson were hanging out and the fans are now mocking

the two different photos that they posted.

Well, it's the same photo and that's why it's crazy.

Right.

Fans Fans immediately called out the difference that Vicki posted versus what Gina posted because Vicki's version is just the picture that they took, and then Gina's version is photoshopped with filters, like adding makeup,

and

then they're like, and so they, these two like, needed to have communicated because that is the cardinal rule of photoshopping your pictures, especially when you're a public figure.

Like, that is just the ABCs.

Yes, to post the same photo with different editing is so

like not done.

It's so de-classe that somebody needs to give these girls a lesson in Photoshop and FaceTune etiquette immediately.

Yeah, and also like Gina's version, whatever app she used to give them like new foches, they look great.

And I, if I saw the picture on its own, I would have been like, oh, wow, they both had amazing work done.

Like I never would have suspected that it was Photoshop, like giving them new faces and makeup and everything.

So it wasn't even like Gina posted a picture that was clearly Photoshopped and then we saw the original.

It was was like, no, like Gina posted a picture of two different women.

Yeah, no, it was the eyeliner for me.

Like it was really well done.

Very well executed.

No, A for effort.

Like the lipstick and Vicki in the new picture like kind of looks like Shannon.

No, they literally look like two different women.

But they look like women in the OC who get a lot of plastic surgery.

Yeah, no,

they look great and beautiful in both, but they do look like different.

different people.

Yeah.

Is our next story the story that's brought to you by stamps.com?

Do you know?

It is, Claude.

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Okay, next story is a little biz food news.

A little BFN?

A little BFN that I think you're going to be interested by.

Taco Bell is entering the chicken sandwich wars with its own spin, a taco version.

Taco Bell said on Monday that it's testing a taco version of a chicken sandwich.

Chicken is growing faster than beef, making it more attractive to fast food chains.

McDonald's, KFC, Wendy's, and Burger King are among the chains looking to gain from the chicken sandwich craze.

And now, Taco Bell has put out a crispy chicken sandwich and spicy chicken sandwich tacos that I think you would really like.

Yeah, because I low-key don't fuck with Taco Bell because I don't really eat beef and

I just don't really like love tacos.

Like they're really not my favorite cuisine.

Like I'd much rather go to McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King.

But if they had some sort of chicken sandwich, which is usually I get chicken and look at this, it's like, look at that taco shell.

It's like a bun wrapped as a shell.

You see it?

Almost like a

lifted.

Can you see it?

Lift it up higher.

Oh, there.

Higher.

Oh, it looks interesting.

I'll try it.

Because, like, when I go up to fast food chains, I always get chicken nuggets, but sometimes I will get a chicken sandwich, grilled or fried.

So I will try this because I would love to be able to be a patron of Taco Bell because they serve Pepsi products, and I have been really loving Diet Pepsi more than Diet Coke.

And I would love to just be a Taco Bell girly girl.

Yeah, for sure.

I would love to to see you try it.

Just like another thing to add to our food, fast food vlog that one day we will do.

One day.

I mean, I'm ready whenever you are.

Maybe my stomach should settle before we head out to Taco Bell,

but I'm down.

Yeah,

I think that's a wise idea.

Me as well.

But just like add it to the things that we said that we wanted to try, like McPlant.

Yeah, we will try the McPlant one day, but we like we, and by we, I mean you, like, have fallen so in love with the impossible burger from Burger King that it's like, what's the point?

No, but like, what if I could have that level of love with a McPlant and then I had like two chains, like no matter what highway I'm on, like, I'm two chains.

And there is a chain for me.

No, no, there's two chains for you.

And it's like, no matter where you are, there's either going to be

a McDonald's or a Burger King.

There's either going to be a McDonald's or a Burger King.

Yeah.

So like to have options, it's something I've never known.

And unless like you limit your choices and your diet too, like it's a crazy thing to look at a menu and only be able to order like one side.

Yeah, well, you can get like fries.

You, okay, you can get fries.

You can get a fillet of fish, which is really gross.

But I can't.

You can get McFlurry, any of the desserts, like apple pie, Oreo McFlurry, M ⁇ M McFlurry.

You can get

a salad.

I don't even know if they have salads anymore, but also it's like, think of it, when I'm on, say, keto, then my options have just, there's not one.

I could have don't go to McDonald's.

mcdonald's no but like if you're on keto and you're non-kosher like you could go get a triple cheeseburger and take off the bun and have a delicious meal now i could do that with mcplant honestly this conversation is making me so hungry we have to move on

okay we're moving on to our fifth and fifth and final chains

i am i am two chains and i have two chains that i can go to Okay, our fifth and final story is a little beauty biz news that I found to be quite shocking.

Becca Cosmetics says that it's going out of business, partially as a result of COVID-19, and beauty fans are shocked.

Wait, I'm shocked.

Becca

put out a statement on their Instagram saying, you're all our Becca family, part of this beautiful community that supports us and shares our values.

It's because our love for each of you that we are sharing with you now some very important news about the closing of our brand in September 2021.

Wait, I'm so shocked.

Go get your champagne pops.

Yeah, because you know what?

I'm really shocked because they're really like a staple.

And I feel like they are just as successful in just as many many stores as so many other beauty brands.

That either like Becca is the most mismanaged brand on the company, or this is going to be the case for a bunch of other makeup companies in the next year.

Yeah, they said the global pandemic has had an impact on everyone around the world on many levels.

It has also had a tremendous impact on so many businesses.

At Becca, an accumulation of challenges together with the global impact of COVID-19 has sadly been more than our business can withstand.

And we have had to make the heartbreaking decision to close down the Becca brand at the end of September 2021.

I'm so shocked.

Like, I can't get over it, especially because they've had so many products go viral on TikTok.

And, like, TikTok is literally like selling out of products, like millions of units for so many different brands, like the L'Oreal Mascara, the L'Oreal Powder Foundation, and Becca, like their under-eye corrector just went viral.

So, I'm shocked that that didn't even help.

And now, I'm just really curious if this is going to become a trend for a lot of beauty companies the same size as Becca, or if Becca had like financial problems before this.

Yeah, if it was just like a compounding of issues, but not even beauty companies.

Like, And I actually think given, you know, the patterns of the last year, I think that people were still buying makeup.

Like I don't even think that that's an industry that has suffered as much as some other industries have.

So I wonder if this is going to be the time where the companies that can't survive what the last year has brought like will let us know.

I know I've said it three times already.

I'm super shocked.

Yeah, I'm super shocked.

Do you use any Becca Cosmetics products that you're going to have to stock up on?

My highlighter.

My highlighter, too.

I still use the Jaclyn Hill.

It's like vanilla ice or something.

I know Champagne Pop is like basic.

No, it's not.

It's like actually like the most universally well-respected highlighter.

It's so fantastic and everyone should stock up.

That's all I'll say.

Yeah, but now that I think about it, other than that, that's the only product I use and the only product I've actually ever used from Becca.

I know, but like, I just feel like it's a brand.

It was a brand you could trust, you know, like if I was was in Sephora, like, I would, I would try other products from them.

I'm just like, I don't know.

No, it's just crazy how, like, you can go from one year ago doing a partnership with Chloe Kardashian to the next year being out of business.

Yeah, that is crazy.

Crazy.

So those were the fast five stories, and I feel as though you needed to know them.

I definitely know that.

I need to know that last one.

I didn't even know it.

Biz news to food news to sports news to house dives news.

Like, we had it all for you.

We truly had it all.

And we also have Deer Toasters, which is literally the highlight of my week.

Deer Toasters is our advice segment so if you're ever having any issues you want to hear our advice on whether it's you know with your husband your boyfriend your girlfriend your colleague bridesmaid anything you can email us to deartoasters at gmail.com and we pick three every wednesday to discuss and we'll always do it anonymously and the dear toasters segment is brought to you by sweaty betty New year, new chance to kick butt.

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That's what I'm here for.

All right, first webinar, dear toasters.

Dear Jackie and Claude, a few weeks ago, one of my best friend asked to talk to me.

I agreed and immediately went into a spiral of my own thoughts, trying to pinpoint a time in my past that my behavior has been out of line or what on earth this could be about.

I figured he would schedule time.

However, a few weeks went by and I had hung out with him multiple times one-on-one and nothing was ever brought up.

I figured whatever it was had passed.

Flash forward to more two more weeks and he brings it up again and I receive some formal scripted text message asking me to make some time in my schedule so that he can have a couple hours of my undivided attention.

We decide to meet.

We decide to meet at the grocery store bar for a glass of wine.

Where's this grocery store?

I have to go.

Like, I think you just, when I hear stuff like that, I'm like,

why do I live here?

Where are we living?

Yeah.

We decide to meet at the grocery store bar for a glass of wine, and I show up, and he's acting like everything is normal.

Then he

asks if we can go back to his apartment instead.

He pulls out a manila folder with, I shoot you not, 35 pages of typed notes.

To say I was speechless was an understatement.

He proceeds to go into a deep dive into my character and past behavior.

I felt a little bit attacked and explained my side of things and took responsibility for the others.

I thought things had been cleared now, and I felt like it was a productive couple of hours.

He then proceeds to tell me he has feelings for me, sits next to me on the couch, and tries to kiss me.

What?

I quickly swooped, put my coat on, and left as I was visibly uncomfortable.

How did things go from character assassination to I like you in a couple of hours?

For context for both 25-year-old men, he is openly gay, and I'm in my sexually

explorative

phase.

We hang out all the time, and I've known him for six years and view him as a brother.

I'm now second-guessing every interaction I've had with him and if they were being interpreted correctly.

I asked for my space and he was viciously texting me the next day to meet up and continue talking as I imagine he was a bit embarrassed.

I notice he made an effort to see a lot of our mutual friends since this happened and I don't want things to be skewed that I'm just being an ass and I'm not sure what if anything he has told them.

I hate awkward vibes, but don't feel like I can skate by it.

Wait, sorry.

I hate awkward vibes, but I don't feel like I can skate by this one like it didn't happen.

Not trying to create a divide in the friend group, but things are definitely a bit messy.

I've yet to talk to him since I asked for space, so hoping this gets read before the reckoning.

Wow, that's so fucking weird.

I really don't know what his MO is.

It kind of reminds me of like when you were a kid and you were like mean to the person that you liked.

And then Maverick told me

Maverick and then told them that you liked them and you were like, what?

I thought you hated me.

I'm confused.

So I feel like that's part of it, but I don't know.

I don't like like 30 pages of putting you down and then also going in for a kiss.

Like I, so I'm, I mean, it doesn't even sound like you're considering the romantic side of this relationship.

You should not.

But just how do you navigate it amongst friends?

And I just think you need to get out there and start doing some PR for yourself and telling people what happened.

Yeah, honestly, like, at first, when I was reading your story, I was going to say, like, first of all, any 25-year-old person who has enough time to type up 30 pages about like what another person is doing, I highly doubt whatever you did to him was like worth, like, needed 35 pages of notes.

And that's just like, people who have time like that to like nitpick and create like so much drama when like like at the end of the day, it probably wasn't a big deal.

Those are not the type of people you need in your life, like going into your late 20s.

Um, but now this whole layer of like him liking you is so weird and it's clear that you don't like him.

So, I agree, you got to look out for number one.

And it's like now it's, you don't know what he's telling everyone.

You're like sitting at home while he's with all your mutual friends.

And that's really quickly how people get cut out of friend groups.

Yeah, so you need to just like one by one start pulling people into your side and like telling them the truth of what happened.

And you know what?

If this guy is like kind of as all over the place as he seems, then your other friends have seen it too.

And this won't be an unbelievable story.

Yeah, right.

So like if you just pop out in six weeks being like, here's what happened, no one's going to believe you because they've been hearing it from him for a month.

No, but I'm saying like even if they heard it from him first, like if this guy is like the way he acted with you is like kind of crazy.

So it's not like he's not kind of crazy.

He probably has shown other people that side too.

So people will believe you because they're friends of his and they know him and that's believable.

So yes, I think think our advice here is just to get out in front of it and it doesn't feel like you're entertaining his romantic gestures, which I think is for the best.

Yeah, I just think a little crisis PR here never hurt nobody.

Agreed.

We got to look out for number one.

All right, next up.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

So I was really hesitant to write in with this story, but since a ton of people writing in are talking about relationships and dating, I figured I would.

I also am obsessed with you and I've listened religiously for almost two years.

So if I hear this story on Wednesday, I will be elated.

Well, it's your lucky day, girlfriend.

Here we go.

I'm a 20-year-old girl going to college in Boston.

Less than a month before COVID hit, I met an older guy at a bar.

We really hit it off and I ended up going home with him.

We texted frequently and eventually in the summer started seeing each other again.

He doesn't have any social media and I never really knew too much about him, which always made me kind of suspicious, but I tried to put it on the back burner.

He's also like more than 15 years older than me, so that was kind of understandable.

He also needed...

He's also really successful in whatever he does for work.

One night I decided that I needed to find out who this guy is because I literally could not find one thing about him online.

Excuse me.

I tried doing a reverse search with his phone number until I reverse searched his Snapchat username which led me down a rabbit hole and I was sitting in shock for like two hours.

Turns out he was faking his name and here's the kicker.

He's married and has a child.

I honestly was so shocked but then things started to make sense.

At first I found pictures from his wedding online, which led me to finding his wife's Instagram and I followed her on my fake account.

A day later she accepted my request and that's when I found out he has a two-year-old daughter.

I feel so bad, and I don't know what to do about it.

If I should do anything, I haven't seen him since I found out,

but we still talk occasionally, and he wants to see me this coming weekend.

I don't know what to do.

Should I meet up with him and confront him?

Confront him through text, DM his wife, or just forget any of this ever happened.

Please help.

I'm in quite a pickle.

Oof, Pitt Central.

Wow, Pitt Central, my advice would be never talk to him again.

Never see him.

Don't contact his wife because you just,

i i i don't know that never seems like the right move to me you know yeah i think a lot of people like i i'm on the same side as you like get like this is not your problem like get the fuck out um you did nothing wrong like he told you he was single don't have a pit about it but i think a lot of people might suggest like you dming the wife but for some reason anytime i've heard about someone doing that or even on deer toasters it always goes awry and then you're like becoming a villain when you were just trying to help yeah and it's like if you think through it and like take it all the way, it's like, okay, one, you could DM her like as yourself and give her like the information that she needs to know, but then you are very much in it and like he will know that it was you and then that you are like this third person in their marriage.

So instead of that, maybe you could like write a letter giving her the information, but kind of being anonymous.

But then imagine being her, that's so frustrating.

You can't go and ask this person follow-up questions.

How do you know if you should believe them?

Like, also, like, let's look at history.

Writing anonymous letters, dear Ron.

Right, of course.

No, but like, I think, I think that dear Sam, like, really,

really ruined, like, the power of letter writing.

I'm not going to lie.

Like, cause I think that letter writing is sometimes the only solution, but I still don't think it's the solution here.

I think, but I, but I think, like, what they tried to do for Sam like was a good idea.

By the way, of course, and when you re-watch that, you realize how fucking Sam was so angry at who wrote the letter and not about the contents of the letter.

Like, your boyfriend literally cheated on you and then came home and had sex with you.

Like, it's so fucked up.

Be mad at your boyfriend.

Stop spending all your time and energy trying to find out who wrote the letter.

You know, it was probably one of the four people living in your house besides you and Ron.

Like it was so stupid.

And that's why it really gave a bad letter to bad rep to anonymous letters.

Right.

But so imagine being this wife, receiving an anonymous letter, like you have a two-year-old at home.

You think your husband is a doting husband and you get this letter that tells you that he's not and you have nowhere to go or personally.

Who's talking to a great novel?

To get more information.

So that's like a torturous place to be in.

I think that you just have to let it go.

I think if these were people that you knew, if you knew her,

but like then, I don't know.

I just feel like sometimes like men like this who really live like a double life and, you know, are one person to their wife and child and then are another person to college girls, like are dangerous.

No, I, you know what?

I actually completely agree.

Like, if you're capable of being that duplicitous and like such an actor, I'm, I'm, I feel, I'm fearful that you're capable of so much more.

So on the one hand, like, you really want to help this woman, but on the other hand, like, it is not your responsibility to fix all the wrongs in the world.

At some point, you just have to like look out for yourself.

It's not even about looking at your, out for yourself.

Like, I don't know how you can help.

Yeah.

Because I, I just don't know how you can.

I don't know.

And then it's like, if you, if you DM the wife, like from your real account, um,

and she shows her husband, like, then you're putting yourself in danger.

No, and then you're just like in the middle of this thing.

And like, you're 20 years old, you're in college, like you don't need to be that person.

Yeah.

So I don't know.

I would, I'd be curious to get the toasters opinions here, too.

Yeah, but I think let it go.

It's not your responsibility to fix their marriage or whatever.

Yeah, I agree.

You don't like that woman's mother.

That would be my

ultimate advice is do not speak to him.

Don't tell him like you know the truth.

Just never talk to him again and go on with your fabulous life.

Yeah.

And then our third and final dear toasters is an update from the toaster who got all dialed up for the holidays expecting an engagement ring after, remember they like went to the jeweler.

Okay, good morning.

First of all, I need to say, Jackie, your advice was beautiful.

Claudia, I'm sorry you were a little hungover, but I still love you.

I don't have an older sister, and your advice was the older sister advice I needed in my life.

So this past Thursday on the 11th, my boyfriend planned a dinner for us and I knew it was going to happen, mainly because he never plans dinner 24 hours in advance.

So dinner comes and goes and nothing.

So in classic brat behavior, I pouted in the car ride home.

As we're walking to our front door, he starts mumbling and I'm like, what?

And then he drops to one knee and I lose my shit.

He proposed on the front porch so our ring doorbell would record it.

Oh Oh my God.

Oh my God.

And then we walk inside and our parents and siblings are inside to surprise me.

It was truly magical and I can't believe he was able to surprise me.

So thank you so much for your advice.

It was so worth it to be surprised.

XOXO, an engaged Snoopy toaster.

Oh my god, I have chills from the ring doorbell.

I have chills too.

The ring doorbell footage.

We need the footage.

Send it to us so we can put footage.

Now I remember what I said.

She was like, bummed that he hadn't proposed yet.

And it seemed seemed like she knew that he was going to.

She was just like, when is it happening?

When is it happening?

And my advice was just like, let him surprise you.

Let him do it this way because you know that's where you're heading.

It wasn't a matter of when.

It was a matter.

It wasn't a matter of if.

It was just a matter of when.

Yeah, when and how.

And I said, like, it's so true in this modern era, we never get to experience the element of surprise.

So like,

at least try to let him do that for you.

And so I love how this story went.

Like, you were truly, because even if he did it at dinner, you still wouldn't have been surprised.

Right.

And so, and the ring is, that's so thoughtful

the ring for the ring

that was so cute we love a happy ending here at the morning toast and we never get them so we're grateful to you and if you want to send us the ring footage we would love to post it on our instagram but i get that dear toasters is anonymous so maybe you don't want to but if you do send it to the email um oh my god i literally love your fiancé that is so clever so cute

So cute.

Oh my goodness.

And you were all dressed up because of the dinner.

Like he nailed it.

He really like nailed it on every single factor.

Like, he couldn't, I couldn't possibly conceive of a better proposal.

Me neither.

And that's our show.

Think I love Dear Toasters again.

Email us, deartoasters at gmail.com.

If you have an update for us, if we've ever read your prompt and you want to update the audience, do let us know.

And if you have a problem, just send it in.

Deartoasters at gmail.com.

We always keep it anonymous and we always keep it fun.

So that's our show, you guys.

Happy Wednesday.

I hope that that last update really compels others to share updates because that was just like so beautiful.

Like I'm really taken aback.

Yeah, me too.

I'm like speechless.

I'm so happy.

Me too.

Wow.

Please share your updates.

Thank you guys so much.

They don't even have to be happy ones.

I just like to know what happened.

Me too.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So, that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Cast Box, all the places.

So, if you listen to podcasts, find us the morning toast and leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing hump day, and we'll see you tomorrow for Thursday's episode.

Bye.

Bye.