S3 Ep206: Karen Cruise: Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy hump day!

Hump day!

It's a beautiful day because THEO is back in studio, ready to celebrate Hump Day in style.

He's looking good, smelling good, and I'm just so excited to have this precious energy to carry us through.

Yeah, and it wouldn't be a hump day without Theo, so make sure to hump someone you love, whether that's your partner or so important.

It's so important, and you know, in this unprecedented time, it is more important than ever to like keep the traditions of hump day alive.

I totally agree.

It's a weekly reminder to hump it out.

And just, it's also a weekly reminder for, if we take a different perspective, it's a weekly reminder for you to just pretty much like spread love and know and like appreciate the people in your life who you love, you know?

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

That's all I'm saying.

Yeah.

I think it's a beautiful day and it's a beautiful reminder.

It's a beautiful reminder.

It is a beautiful day.

It's supposed to be a major snowstorm here in New York.

I know it's going to start trickling in this afternoon.

It hasn't started.

So I have like a lot to do before the snow starts because once the snow starts, I'm like completely out of commission, useless.

I know, but it's so weird having a snowstorm after a year of being in lockdown because it's like there's no difference it's like oh i don't need to go out and get canned foods because i have them right no and oh that's true it's like you know it's like this is nothing this is what one day of not leaving house no and it's like we're also like not everyone's still working from home so it's like oh cool it's snowing outside working from home with snowflakes so what yeah well except for us because yeah we're here delivering the best

yeah we have an amazing show for you guys today it is wednesday which means two things one our second bachelorette recap of the week will be in the TV recap segment.

And it will be Dear Toasters, our advice segment, which we do every Wednesday.

And if you ever want to write in, you can email us, deartoasters at gmail.com.

I'm so excited to hear what you guys have cooked up for us today.

Me as well, me as well.

As I say this every Wednesday, but during quarantine, I literally say this every Wednesday, Dear Toasters has become one of my favorite parts of the week.

Yeah.

It really has.

It's probably because it's also hump day.

That's true.

You know you're going to hump someone you love.

100%.

Getting a haircut today, I'm just like, you know, when you have weeks where you just like take care of business?

and for me, it's like any week before I'm going to actually do something.

Yeah.

Um, I'm so jealous you're getting a haircut.

I'm having one of those weeks too, like wax, manicure, ginger.

Dentist.

Oh, that's a big one.

How did it go?

You know what?

Okay, so.

It was in a lot of ways worse than I expected, but in a lot of ways better than I expected.

In terms of pain and uncomfortability and like how I thought I would have like 50 root canals since literally neglecting my oral health, I didn't have that.

So that's where I was positively surprised.

The second thing that kind of of disappointed me in a lot of ways it was like so much more

you know involved than i remember like getting all these x-rays done like seemed so unnecessary like just tell me if i have a cavity you know like and putting the machine in my mouth was so painful and just took longer than i expected so it was I overall I netted out even it wasn't as bad I was just scared I was going to be in pain and like literally have to get an emergency root canal but she actually said she made a point to ask what kind of brush are you and by the way we don't have an ad for brooch today but she literally said like what kind of brush do you use electric and i'm like yes a brooch she's like you brush so well.

That's that brooch for you.

All you have to do to brush well is just hold it to your brooch and use code toast.

Let the brooche do the work.

Yeah.

And use code toast that your teeth do get shinier, scientists say.

But if you use the code.

I also was just like on my Instagram stories talking about, you know, my disdain for the dentist and people were just being so funny.

I guess like most adults, like...

It's like you're either one type of adult or the other.

Like either you go to the dentist like every six months or you literally neglect your oral health for years at a time.

And that's me.

I've been both of those people and now I'm one that goes all like regularly because I don't like what I have to do when I wait too long.

It's bad news.

But I just, I think there's people of different kinds of teeth.

Like, I'm very, my teeth are very high maintenance.

Yours are loaming.

No, my, very loamy.

And she couldn't believe I hadn't been to the dentist in so long.

It's like, yeah.

Yeah.

So proud.

But I got a cleaning.

I feel like my breath is better.

That's good.

Yeah.

I was telling her, like, the only real problem I have is like, if I don't eat for a while, like, which is rare, I have like the worst fucking breath.

And it's beyond bad breath.

It's like duty in the throat.

And she said, I I might have just needed a cleaning.

So here I am.

Do I look different?

That's so funny.

And I was all day making Ben smell my breath.

I'm like, is it better?

And he was like, no.

No, I don't think that teeth cleaning makes it that much better.

No, she said it's also probably like a digestive thing.

It's like coming from your stomach.

She said, like, stop eating like shit, and you might have better breath.

No, I've eaten all different ways in my life, and the breath is bad no matter how you slice it.

You know what's funny?

It's like we've been the morning toast for two years, three, almost going on three years.

Going on three.

And we will still always, in our souls, be the morning breath.

Yeah, for sure.

Always talking about breath.

Always.

So we have an amazing show for you guys today.

And I think if you have nothing else to catch the world up on, I think we could get right into it because we have like a lot of think ground to cover.

Sure, okay, go.

What were you going to say though?

Oh, I was just going to say how, like, yesterday I spent all day working on my cameo, and it was so rewarding, both financially and emotionally.

Are you enjoying being part of the cameo fameo?

You know, I am because I would say like 90 out of 100% of the cameos that I got yesterday were from one sister to another sister.

It was was a sibling, you know, moment.

And for that, we have no choice but to stand.

That's so exciting.

I just like being a gift.

That makes me feel special, you know?

No, it's such a rewarding experience for everyone involved.

Yeah.

And I'm glad that you are on the cameo train.

A cameo fame.

I look forward to seeing how it progresses.

Woo-hoo.

So without further ado, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Love it.

Okay, first story, really big news that broke yesterday.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are becoming

podcasters.

Prince Harry and Megan have inked an exclusive multi-year deal with Spotify through a newly formed production company, Archwell Audio.

Together, they plan to host and produce podcasts that uplift and entertain audiences.

The partnership will kick off later this month with a holiday special hosted by the couple that will feature inspirational stories.

Spotify-owned studio Gimlet will produce the show in partnership with Archwell Audio.

Harry and Megan said in a statement that, quote, what we love about podcasting is that it reminds all of us to take a moment and to really listen, to connect to one another without distraction.

With the challenges of 2020, there has never been a more important time to do so because when we hear each other and hear hear each other's stories, we are reminded how of how interconnected we all are.

Okay, I just have to say, and I have a lot of thoughts on this, but like this statement is like a little insulting.

Like just call it what it is.

Like you needed the money.

No, for sure.

And it's like 2020 is ending now.

So we got through 2020.

You're like the existing podcast.

And we got delayed.

We got through 20 without you.

2020 without you.

So don't come in in December and try and help.

Like, no, I just, the statement is like a little insulting to our intelligence.

It's like, we wanted to do this.

We believe in pod.

You have never listened to a podcast in your fucking life.

Like, just, let's call it what it is.

It is.

You got gotta work I totally respect it yeah no like just the emphasis on 2020 when you're literally putting out your podcast in the last week of 2020 it's like the other podcasts got us through it's silly it's silly but as this being their next step I actually think this is a great move for them I think I see this from two perspectives.

I think we've been like kind of monitoring what Spotify has been doing this whole year.

We've been talking about, you know, them doing Addison Ray's podcast.

Kim did a social justice, Michelle Obama.

And I think this is like a huge get for them, a huge get for the, for the podcasting community.

But Spotify has kind of been on this journey.

We've been watching them all year to like really dominate the podcasting space joe rogan joe rogan so this is huge for them congrats to the spotify team for getting you know archwell on board and now for megan and harry it's like it must be so nice for them to like

they don't they they do they've done now i think three big deals this year and since leaving and like needing to work and live and it was the third one there's netflix now spotify megan had that disney plus voiceover thing oh true and um

i think that was it they have a netflix deal netflix did Did you say Netflix?

Yeah.

So they just have like these three or four like huge benchmark deals.

And it's like, they just do like a deal a quarter and they live this like magnis magnificent life.

Yeah, for sure.

But I wonder, I was actually thinking about the two of them the other day before this announcement came out.

And I was like, they were like the first big story of 2020 that they were exiting the royal family.

And like, obvious, I think that like...

coronavirus has been really damaging no to their plans.

Like, I think they must have had like big, big plans to step out and they were going to like, you know, do it with red carpets, Met Gala, this, that.

And every time.

They could have had some big, big hands too.

They could have had some big, big hands along with their big, big plans.

And I think they had to recalibrate what their move was going to be.

And I wonder if 2020 wasn't the year that it was, would they have ever entered into the podcasting realm?

And I feel like no.

Well, okay, so you just raised a really, really interesting point that I think goes back to what the world is kind of divided on when it comes to Meg's it, Megan, and Harry.

So

either coronavirus was the best thing or the worst thing.

No, no, wait, let me finish.

Okay.

Because there's a certain amount of people who truly, and I don't even know where I stand because I read some of the book.

Like, I don't know where I stand on Megan and Harry, but there are two ways of thinking when it comes to Megan and Harry and their exit from the royal family.

The first way of thinking is like, they are thirst monsters.

They use the royal family.

This is what Megan's always wanted.

They just want to be famous and be in America and like do Netflix.

So if that's the case, yes, 2020 was the worst year for them to have left.

And I'm sure they're regretting all their decisions.

But there's also a group of people.

No, I don't think they're regretting their decisions.

Let me think.

recalibrating.

There's also a group of people who, and if you read the book, it was very convincing that this is the way that it all happened.

That it was really just like too much for them, too much for Megan, too much for the baby.

So toxic.

He was never going to be an actual, you know.

Royal.

King.

Yeah.

So like, what's the point?

And this was so toxic.

And this was the best thing for their family and for their mental health.

And then having a break this year was best for their mental health.

Right.

So either, it depends on how you see the Meg's situation because either COVID and quarantine was the most incredible thing to have.

Like literally a gift from God, exactly what Megan was asking for, or literally a gift from Satan, exactly the opposite of what Megan was asking for.

It's just how you see the situation.

I think just like everything else, it's a bit of both.

I think for a lot of people, there has been a silver lining in quarantine, you know, getting back to what's important, spending time with the people that you love, having quality time with people that you wouldn't have had it with otherwise.

And I feel like they can definitely see that side of it.

But I think on the business side, they still have to work.

And

whatever plans that they were making might have been stymied by this year.

And by the way, they're probably making just as, if not more.

There's actually been so much money like poured into media this year because so many people are like changing their habits.

So I think they're probably making the same, if not more, money as whatever their OG plan was, but it's just not as prestigious.

It's not the Mech Allah Red Carpet.

It's the podcasting

potty awards, you know?

Yeah, no, I think they...

They're still like doing well and they're they're moving with the times.

I just, I think that they had some like really glamorous plans.

And I don't know, everything's now virtual.

I feel like they're always popping up on like

on a Zoom.

And it's like, that's not super glamorous.

That's not like ex-royal.

That's not red carpet, can stairs.

Yeah.

Megan and Harry stepping out.

Like, you know.

Yeah, that's true.

You know what I mean?

I'm also kind of glad we were like spared that temporarily, but they really do know how to take a picture.

Like, do you remember how much we like

over the last, that was like their last royal event.

She wore that blue dress and it was holding the umbrella.

And it was like literally movie magic.

Yeah, and I think a lot of their plans for this year, like, did include those moments, which were taken out.

That's very, very possible.

You know, but anyways, I think this is such exciting news.

Like, this is literally the craziest royal podcast news.

Like, the podcast industry is officially royalty architecture.

I am.

It couldn't be more exciting for podcasters.

Yeah, congrats.

Good, good job, Spotify, for getting this done.

Like, thank you from all the podcasters around the world to Spotify.

Thank you for legitimizing our business.

Like, I have the same job as Prince Harry.

Guess what?

I have have the same job as Megan Markle.

Like, we're queens.

No, we are queen.

Literally.

We're ex-queens.

Also, I like, so the description of their podcast sounds like they're telling inspirational stories.

And it's a little vague, but I'm sure, like, I'm still in the middle of the day.

So it's going to be their voices.

I don't know where they're going to have some other people on telling stories.

I'm excited to listen to it and hear what it's about.

I'm curious as to the format as well.

And I also feel like with the podcast, you know, there's so much time to fill in talking.

You really do get a sense of a person's personality and so and you got to get a little personal yeah no and i feel like we're gonna learn more about the two of them on a personal level i'm excited for that so they're they're holding company or whatever it's called archwell arch obviously for archie yeah what's well they have another one on the way wellington they're living well maybe yes they are without i don't know

i'm sure there's like a it means something significant how taylor swift of them i know and how tnn of them to do a podcast and produce others yes oh is that what they're doing yes oh my god kind of like copping our format.

Oh, my God.

I mean, we love to see it.

We love to see it.

Cloud we can inspire other small podcasters.

All right.

You guys don't have to laugh so loud.

Anyways, I think this is such a-that's why we do what we do, you know, like smaller creators who like look up to us.

It's like, it's really crazy if you think about 2020.

Like, they started 2020 as royalty.

And now they're with us.

They're with us.

Welcome.

Welcome.

It's really a great medium.

You're going to love it here.

It's a great medium.

Talk about a fall from grace.

Even though, like, this is really prestigious.

It's just funny.

Yeah, it's money.

Money, money.

Okay, ready for our next story?

Yes.

Tom Cruise is screaming at his film crew members over COVID rules in leaked audio.

I have a lot of thoughts about this.

Okay, I'm going to give you the...

the quotes.

A furious Tom Cruise tore into workers who broke COVID-19 rules on set of Mission Impossible, screaming, if I see you doing doing it again, you're fucking gone.

He has been working tirelessly behind the scenes to enforce tight social distancing rules during the filming, which is taking place in Britain.

And he flew into a rage after spotting two of the crew members standing within six feet of each other.

They were both looking at a camera.

There's an audio tape that captured him shouting.

It's two and a half minutes

and it's worth the listen.

It says, quote, if I see...

If I see you do it again, you're fucking gone.

And if anyone in this crew does it, that's it.

And you too, and you too, and you, don't you ever fucking do it again.

It was just absolutely nuts.

And I saw a lot of people, I wanted to read like what the vibe was on social media because as far as I know before this video, like who is Tom Cruise to me?

You know, he is like the financier of Scientology, like a toxic cult.

And that's pretty much like, oh, and he was like mean to Katie Holmes.

Like that's really what I know about him.

So I'm like neglectful.

No, not neglect.

Reticent?

Yeah.

Reticent to like, you know, label him a hero.

But I was looking online and a lot of people were like praising him for taking the pandemic so seriously.

Now, I just have to say, like, I don't really care what, really, whatever you're saying, like, you can't talk to people that way.

Like, his tone and what he was actually saying was so fucking nasty, especially like, think about it.

Like, he's a big-time celebrity, and these are people who work on a movie set.

Like, there's that dynamic where like people who are celebrities think that they're better than the people that they work with.

And his tone was just so unacceptable.

Like, no matter what's going on, like, there's

there's never an okay time to speak to people that way.

Like, I'm sorry, ever, no matter what you're saying.

Now, yes, I'm glad that Tom Cruise is taking the pandemic seriously, and I am.

But in the video, if you listen, he's not really upset because people will get sick.

He's upset because he doesn't want the movie to get shut down.

And he thinks, and he said, not in the exact words, but that he's like the whole industry is like on his back in this movie.

Yeah, this is the movie.

And it's on him to get the industry back together.

It's like, Take a seat, Tom Cruise.

Relax, Grandpa.

They're back in Hollywood making movies right now because of us.

We are creating thousands of jobs, you motherfuckers.

That's it.

No apologies.

You can tell it to the people that are losing their fucking homes because our industry is shut down.

We are not shutting this fucking movie down.

Is that understood?

If I see it again, you're fucking gone.

There was also a line about how, like, he was responsible for bringing movies back.

And it was just like a, I don't know.

I don't see, I'm not just jumping to like give him credit for taking the pandemic seriously.

I haven't seen other people's thoughts on this, but when I read what he said and how he said it, no.

Like, it's so unnecessary, two people standing together looking at a camera to film a movie that like he, if working for him.

Yeah.

Like, are you joking?

And by the way, in terms of breaking COVID protocols, it would be one thing if people were like not wearing their masks or like there was a party at cast partying each other's faces.

But like because they stood less than six feet away from each other to do their jobs, I'm sorry, this just seems like a complete overreaction.

And no, you know what?

Maybe, maybe this is, you know, movie making is a non-essential business.

It really is.

No, it.

So, I'm glad that all these Hollywood actors are all gung-hung about getting back to work while, like, servers and restaurant owners are just out of business.

I just don't fucking feel bad for you, Tom Cruise.

No, I just don't.

I don't feel bad at all.

I feel like so many celebrities or actors are getting back to work.

And I think movie making is a non-essential business, and there are so many other businesses.

Who aren't working?

And so, I just think this is like such a Karen Cruise move.

Oh, my God.

Karen Cruz.

Yes.

Like, I just, this story bothered me.

And like, I saw people praising him online.

I'm like, why do we care?

First of all, Tom Cruise, like, what we know about him, it's like, he literally is the worst human being ever.

He's a nut.

He finances Scientology, which is known to being like the most corrupt, abusive organization.

So first of all, I'm not running to like, you know, tweet about how much I love Tom Cruise.

Second of all, he's fucking yelling at hardworking people in this video.

And okay, great.

He's taking the pandemic seriously, not because he cares about the spread of the virus, because he cares about his movie coming out, like, which is the most non-essential business of all time.

Like, I just, I can't be bothered to, like, give one more brain cell and give one more shred of a shit about Tom Cruise.

Right.

Or about, like, this in general.

Yeah, no, it's like, sorry, I don't feel bad for celebrities.

I do feel bad for the people who chose to work in the film.

Because that's who he's yelling at.

Right.

I feel bad for them.

Right.

Like, they know what's at stake.

They're the ones who are attacking the money.

Who haven't been working

for the last six months and who haven't been able to feed their families and now they come to work to get yelled at by fucking Tom Cruise?

What do we call motherfuckers for doing their job and standing near a camera?

To make fucking Tom Cruise more money and more famous.

It's so hypocritical.

It's so hypocritical.

Oh my God, justice for everyone who was in that video getting yelled at.

Totally.

I'm like sweating.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

I chose the wrong day to wear like a chunky nib.

I should have warned you.

I should have worn my tank top.

Okay, next story.

Pastor Jamal Bryan is reacting to the Real House Eyes of Potomac reunion accusations of cheating on Giselle.

And by reacting, I mean like he's tweeting and talking about it, but not really talking about it.

Because he posted a cryptic Instagram message imploring his followers to remain unbothered.

He said, give no energy to anything that doesn't add to your joy, align with your purpose, or pay any of your bills.

He captioned the post of a man sitting under running water while enjoying a meal.

Be at peace.

Okay, like, I guess that could also, like, that could be pertaining to the drama, but it could also be just like a church post, you know, like that's something a pastor would post.

Yeah.

Any time of day.

I just feel like that sort of post is like

more confirmation, you know?

Because if it was untrue, he would say it was untrue because that's the easiest thing to do.

A hundred percent.

And if there was like like baseless accusations running around, not even like your inner circle, the whole country about you, like even the most peaceful pastor couldn't not respond.

Yeah.

Because it's dragging.

And Jamal's whole business is his name.

And so if like, if these really things are, things are untrue and you're just being dragged through the mud, like, of course you're going to respond.

But no response is a response in a lot of ways.

Yeah, this is a response.

And I feel like it lines up with, like, there's nothing in here that does, that says that this is untrue.

Right.

Give no energy to anything that doesn't add to your joy, align with your purpose, or pay any of your bills.

No, I'm 100% sure that everything Monique said and everything in Monique's binder in general is completely 100% factual.

Yeah.

But also I do agree with that.

Do give no energy to anything that doesn't add to your joy, align with your purpose, or pay any of your bills.

No, that sounds like an amazing, like, brainy quotes card.

No, but I just feel like the more you live and learn, like, that's those are the priorities.

Oh, yeah.

Joy, purpose, and bills.

And minding your own damn business.

100%.

Which is a huge pillar of my life.

100%.

Okay, our next story.

E online is reporting that Kim and Kanye are like literally.

Oh, my God.

This article is like so fucking inflammatory.

Is that the right word?

Yeah.

But don't you think it's weird that it comes from E while the Kardashians like are still part of the E family?

Honestly, when I read it, I was like, oh,

E is salty as fuck.

Because like, first of all, It's not uncommon for like these fake celebrity news outlets to have like sources who say random things and that never means that they're true.

But when it came to the Kardashians, the E never did that because they always had one ear with Chris or a direct line into the family.

So like this seems like a bitter move to me.

I'm not going to lie.

And I don't believe it.

And I'm really done with everyone trying to take down Kim and Kanye's marriage.

Like we have seen time after time that they're not going anywhere.

So just stop.

Yeah, but the rumors are that Kim and Kanye are doing their own thing.

They spend a lot of time apart and they are focused on things that are important to them separately.

Oh my God, my foot is so good.

Are you okay?

You know when like you're wearing a big wait, is that the foot that's on the cover of the girlwithnojob.com slash book?

Oh my god, how did you know?

This is her first time getting recognized.

Oh my god, this is her first time getting recognized.

Yes, I don't know if you guys notice.

It's a little more photoshopped, but my foot does make an appearance on the cover of my book, which comes out so soon, you guys, January 26th, 2021.

Can you lift your leg a little higher because your foot just looks so funny?

Well, that's a great question.

Can I?

Your foot looks so funny right now and small.

Girlwithnojob.com slash book is the link where you can get my award-winning book.

And the award that I got is the Theo's Mom Award, which is really, really prestigious.

My book is called Girl With No Job, The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster.

And it's essentially the story of my life from start to finish, but not finish, because that would imply that I died.

Start to now.

Start to now.

All about, you know, starting our business, being in college, becoming a comedian, getting canceled.

Lots of interesting things.

I get a lot of, uh, get a lot of questions over the years, and they're all pretty much in this book.

Even if you listen to the podcast a lot and you think you know everything about me, there's so much more to know.

Even my best friend, I had my my friend Jason read it, who I've known since like the ninth grade, and he pretty much knows everything about me and has been there for everything.

And

he told me what he loved, you know, among many things in the book, was that he didn't know like most of this stuff about me, you know?

Yeah.

But you're gonna put your foot down now.

No, it's okay.

What I was trying to say before you so graciously offered to promote my book is, you know, when you're wearing like a big chunky boot with a sock and like your foot is so fucking itchy?

Oh, did you have that?

Do you ever get that?

I would thought you were going to say sock sliding syndrome.

Oh, no, no.

I'm just having like itchy foot.

Itchy foot.

Inside my boot.

And it's really annoying, but I think I got the itch out.

Okay, good.

Yeah, no, but sometimes when you have an itchy foot, like it's, you also are tickling yourself.

It's so crazy.

No, no, no.

There's a difference between an itch and a tickle.

No, for me, I'm so ticklish.

Even just thinking about it makes me.

You must be like the worst at getting pedicures.

Oh my God, the worst.

We're always cracking up.

Yeah.

What was the story?

Oh, Jamal.

No, Kim and Kanye living separate lives.

I don't believe it.

Like, I'm just,

I'm just I'm not into the fake news industry you know no I totally agree and also like whether even if say it were true like do what you got to do yeah

sometimes you need a little personal space a hundred percent like this is just so dramatic okay like I take a break from Ben all the time it's like I go out to lunch with my friends like yeah what are we talking like stop using such vague words yeah totally what's a break yeah they're like not saying anything but they're like trying to like they're trying to start stuff they're trying to start stuff with a family that was very good to them for way too long agreed you ready and they could stand to be a little bit more gracious you ready for our fifth and final story because it's it's about being good it's about philanthropy news okay i don't know if you've seen mackenzie scott yes mackenzie scott who is the ex-wife of jeff bezos reveals that she has given away nearly 4.2 billion dollars in the last four months isn't that crazy that's crazy i mean she is well i don't know if now after she gave away four billion but when she and jeff bezos got divorced she was like the second richest person in the world right after jeff bezos i'm sure that like she still is and she gave away that much money to 384 organizations in america she wrote like an article for medium explaining you know her philanthropic ways and i just think that that is remarkable queen queen queen she did we had reported i think when she initially got her settlement that she was gonna join the the giving pledge which is like what a lot of the richest people do to like donate half of their wealth um and it's wonderful to see her doing it can you just imagine like having so much money that like you actually don't need all of it Yeah.

You know, like that like in your lifetime and like your children, you couldn't even.

Wow.

Iconic.

Iconic.

And we stand a philanthropic queen doing the most with what she has and we live for it.

And I kind of also live for her like telling everyone about it, you know, because there's like this weird, and I feel like in 2020, like it's gotten even more weird.

There's like this thing where it's like, if you're a public figure and you donate to charity and you publicize it like you did it for the wrong reasons.

But then if you don't publicize it, you get so much shit for not being charitable.

And it's like, so which one is it?

How do I win?

Yeah, no, I think, you know, it just depends on the way that people go about it.

And I feel like with this amount of money,

it should be known.

And also, she, um, no, I'm, I'm all for celebrities and public figures, like sharing their philanthropic efforts.

If that means they do more of it, like, why are we shaming people for sharing their charity?

I don't care that it's like, it's not real charity.

If you don't tell anyone, like, I don't care.

Like, people are getting the money, great.

Yeah.

Thanks, Taylor Shift, donated $13,000 to two different moms last week.

Yeah.

You're right.

Love to see it.

Okay, let's dive into our TV recap.

Let's dive right in.

The bachelorette hometowns were last night, and by hometowns, I mean different corners of the La Quinta in Palm Springs.

You know what?

Credit where it's due, I think they made the best out of a bad situation.

I thought the dates were all very different from one another, very fun.

They really brought in like all of their skills from Woodshop and started building sets.

It was really like a camp production.

Yeah.

You know?

And there was a camper on the set.

Yes.

And the camper and me was happy to see camper's flourishing and thriving on the set of The Bachelor.

All right, so let's just like bang out each one.

Who went first?

Brendan.

Brendan, and it was very good.

I mean, even the thing is, like, for me, I think Brendan is the man for her of all the guys there for a bunch of different reasons.

But at the Rose ceremony, I was kind of like...

She gave him the Rose because she didn't want to reward Ben because he like gave her nothing this week and she's done pulling things out of him.

And she was almost like, it was like a consolation prize for Brendan.

So I don't really feel like she's there with Brendan.

I thought maybe during the date, but just the way she acted at the rose ceremony proved that like he's not top tier material.

Oh, interesting.

On the date, I was like, oh, this is really real.

This could be it.

And then all the other dates, I felt the same way.

So then I forgot about the first one.

And then I circled back to who I thought was the most real.

And I think Zach C is who she's going to choose.

Me too.

That's what I said.

But so nothing really to report from Brendan's date.

Like it was all cute and lovely.

And his brother looks just like him.

Oh, by the way, actually, I did want to say one thing.

And I think Brendan brendan is such a p-jum like every time he talks about his brother like he just cries like i feel that so hard and his brother was so cute and like they were both just like sitting around crying and i just love them yeah no i actually felt like these um hometowns were really emotional for the families because i think everything is heightened this year in general but i do think that like families who don't talk about like their emotions a lot when you go on tv and like you they literally are asking you these questions that are corny at the time but they make you open up and like just when zaxi like had the sit down with his mom and like he took the time time to just be like I love you so much like it wasn't even about Tisha anymore they were just talking about their feelings was Zach C's mom the blonde one yeah yeah she was hilarious she was so cute and he was just like

she said she loves the bachelor yes I felt like he was just like saying everything to her that he like regretted never not having said enough and it became less about like is like about Tisha which I mean it's always about Tisha and like literally everyone's in love with her look at that oh my god oh my god Zach's dad was in love with her and so was Ivan's dad.

Everyone, everyone's in love with her, her, but like, I don't know.

I feel like all these families just had a nice moment where they were able to like tell each other that they love each other.

I agree.

It wasn't about Tayshia last night.

I actually feel that.

It was about families coming together.

100%.

And like, honestly, all these guys are like so close, especially they always have, each of them have like one person in their life.

And they're like,

'I think they're a bad person.' And I thought it was really, really sweet.

And Zaxi's hometown, his family was super cute.

And his dad was like hilarious when he was like interrogating.

He's like, I'm from a small town.

I don't know about girls who date four guys at the same time.

It was just so pure.

And I actually feel like their date and like their family dynamic, I think worked best with Tayshia.

Yeah.

I think that there was like they were having a really good fun time.

Yeah.

Then we had, oh no, Ivan,

who got surprised by his brother, which was like so freaking cute.

It was literally like extreme makeover.

Like surprise.

Like they never do that.

No, they don't, but it was worth the wait.

It was so good.

It was so cute.

Ivan is a cutie.

And I stand by what I said yesterday.

Absolutely nothing about him.

I just

didn't last night.

And I haven't in general gotten the vibe that tatia's like in love with him i feel like she wants to be around him so much like as a friend yeah i just don't get that like sexy she's like super comfortable around him and that's why she keeps him around for so long because you like like there are people in your life like regardless of gender who like just make you feel comfortable and safe and i feel like that's ivan for her yeah but i think he is like so head over heels in love with her he's going to be crushed.

I mean, everybody is in love with her.

Yeah.

Which leads us to our next hometown, which was Ben, who just like is such a wussy.

Like he couldn't even get out that he loved her.

It's like, don't go on the show?

Like, that's literally what you do.

Like, that's a formula.

Yeah, when it was the after the hometown that night when they were sitting on the bench, there was absolutely no reason why he couldn't say it.

And he literally just couldn't get it out.

And then Tayshia, when she sent it home, she's like, I'm just tired of like pulling things out of him.

And that was just such a good reason.

Like, honestly, of all the breakups I've ever seen on the bachelorette, the reason is always like, we're not there yet.

Like, they're always so big.

But Tayshia had such a concrete reason that I like just, and she verbalized it so well.

I respected her so much on the bachelorette or bachelor.

Like, I've never understood really why.

It's always because I like someone else more.

She was like, no, no, I like them all equally right now, but like, I'm just tired of like having to pull things out of bed.

It's like, it's exhausting.

Yeah.

And it's like he couldn't, and he felt it, but he couldn't say it.

Like, we're too old for this.

Yeah, I agree.

I mean, when she sent him home, I think he was in complete shock.

When he was in the car, like, like, that was genuine, like, emotional shock, like, cannot speak, cannot think.

And so I understand why when she sent him home, he still had nothing to say because at that point, like, he couldn't function.

But after the hometowns, when he realized that he loved her, like, there was no reason why, and he should be able to express himself a little better.

I agree.

And I think he's literally going to regret it for the rest of his life.

100%.

But I did think his hometown with his sister and their family friend was like so cute.

How he had these two girls in his life and they're like best friends.

I thought it was really sweet.

Really sweet.

But also, I do feel like, yes, Tatia's tired of pulling stuff out of him, but she also was not in love with him because if she was, she would, she would work even harder.

Like, he was not her number one.

She would have pulled it out.

She, yeah, like, and I just feel like as much as he

didn't give everything that he should have, like, it's not like she sent home her number one guy.

No, because he wasn't giving her enough.

Like, I think that's what I think.

No, that's not what it was.

I do think, like, she also feels stronger about other people.

100%.

Last night's episode, while it was better than Monday night's episode, it did honestly, it made me yearn for...

Claire and her like toxic energy.

I just were, I was having more fun watching her being so nuts.

Like, and the guys, yosef, like, I just miss that, like, chaos.

And, like, this is just, everything's going too well.

I'm like, bored.

Yeah, no, I hear what you're saying.

And also, like, with Claire, like, we knew exactly where she stood.

Like, this season, any one of the guys

could win, even with Spen included.

Like, last night, I felt like any one of them could be the winner.

And I would- And I wouldn't be shocked.

And I miss, like, Claire showing us exactly who's going to win.

And I also just miss, like.

There was just like every episode, whether it was like the most dramatic or not with Claire, there was so much weirdness to unpack, like, on Claire's part, on the guy's part.

And I just miss that like toxic whirlwind, you know?

Yeah, but I also think that is how the bachelor art always starts when there are 25 guys, including the crazy and the villain.

Yeah.

And so, as it gets more serious, you do lose that weirdness because that chaotic energy.

Yeah, yeah.

But I do miss it.

All right, so we have the finale next week, Monday and Tuesday.

We will not be on live, but

we'll all talk about it.

I mean, there's really not much.

I hope that, like, whoever she chooses, that they're like living in bliss.

And I feel like right now they are because just like Tayshia's Instagram story, she seems like so happy and like living.

And I'm just like, oh, she's definitely engaged to someone she's absolutely obsessed with.

And it's just

having the time of her life.

You want to know why I also think it's sexy?

Because

Tayshia was on that new podcast with Hannah Ann.

Okay.

Clickbait.

Yeah, yeah, she hosts it.

Oh, she hosts it.

And they were doing a conversation about dating people who are sober.

Like, if that's something you would be open to, is that something like you think your lifestyle is good for?

And I think Hannah Ann said that she doesn't think it would work for her lifestyle, but Tayshia was like unequivocally like, oh, yeah.

Oh, interesting.

That was a good Tatia.

That was a good Tatia.

I was also starting to think about Ben in paradise

and who I would set him up with.

And I feel like maybe him and Hannah Ann have a future.

Everyone has been just like shipping Hannah Ann with different people.

Oh yeah, no, but I was thinking like who are the girls?

Maddie, we still have Maddie Prue.

Not for Ben.

I don't think she's going on paradise.

You don't?

I think her life is like a TikTokers and like an Auburn alum like queen is like so good.

You think?

Yeah.

Why wouldn't she want more from the source?

Like, she got all of that from being on the bachelor.

Wouldn't she go back to the source and like get some more?

I don't know.

I think of all the people.

No, I'm not going to say it.

Okay.

Then we also have Kelsey, who we fucking adore.

Stan Victoria Fuller, even though she's like been dating around, she might be single, but I absolutely love her.

She'll be a Paradise Queen.

And not to be a freak, but I would just love to see her in a bathing suit.

Like,

I just think she's literally the most beautiful girl in the world.

Yeah.

No, so I was just like, I've been starting to think about like who is with who, but I also feel like the paradise couples that come out that are like rock solid are never ones that i would have predicted you never expect raven and adam gotcha no i thought it was raven and dean forever forever um and then we never even expected like dean and kaylin to be like oh dp but then all of a sudden like here they are living in a van best friends forever best friends forever that's our bachelorette recap and now it's time for dear toasters our advice segment where we deliver um decent advice you would say i would say top-notch top-notch advice for all your problems whether it's relationship problems friend problems work problems you know, hygiene problems, anything.

So the email is deartoasters at gmail.com.

We always keep it anonymous and we'll scrub out everyone's names so you can write in safely.

First up, good morning, Claude and Jax.

Morning.

Thanks for bringing me the most premium content during my treacherous workdays and being beautiful, stunning, and smart.

I'll start by saying my businessman Bo is an absolute PJOM and treats me like a literal queen.

Wow, sounds awesome.

I love him so much and we've been married for five years, together for eight.

The other day, when going through his closet snooping for my Christmas presents, I found two large Amazon boxes hidden in the back which contained packs of adult diapers.

Absolutely shook.

I started looking at receipts and these were from the last three months.

I know my husband doesn't need these for medical problems because we share a bed every single night and it's never been an issue.

I'm so concerned and confused about what I found and don't know what to do.

He's an extremely professional, well-put-together man with a wonderful career and we have a fantastic sex life.

I feel completely blindsided by everything.

If these are something he needs, I want him to be comfortable telling me he's my husband.

What do I do?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely, an OG toaster.

That's tough.

I don't really realistically know how you can live with someone for five to eight years and hide wearing adult diapers.

Yeah, I think you should just, and especially since you're saying like whatever it is, you are good with it and you love him as he is.

Of course.

I think you should just ask him and say,

I stumbled upon, you have to admit why you were snooping, but I think that's-it's it's fine.

I think your reason for snooping is cute enough and say and I found these diapers like um

What are they for?

Maybe they're for someone else.

You just never know.

Don't assume anything, but also and also don't have like a mocking, like a laughing tone because he's probably like embarrassed if they are for him.

Yeah, so I would just like go sweet as sugar.

Yeah, and say I was just, I saw these and I was just curious.

Like, like, I don't know.

Do you take out the trash in your home?

You would see adult diapers.

Like, you have to change them three times a day.

There's no way this man has been literally consistently wearing adult diapers for eight years and you didn't know.

Yeah, no.

Maybe he got them for one of his parents.

Maybe they're a prank for a friend.

But I would definitely like just go in open

and say, do you wear diapers?

Yeah, just wouldn't you?

If so, that's okay.

We need to not be afraid to ask our partners things like, do you wear diapers?

You know, it's just, we're living in 2020.

Like, just ask.

Yeah.

Just do it.

Honesty is the best policy.

All right, next up.

Hello, Jackie and Claudia.

Of course, letting the toast know what he says is also the best policy.

We would like an update.

Yeah.

Dear Jackie and Claudia, happy hump day.

Let's get right to it.

Our husbands have had the same group of friends.

Oh, I guess this is from two people.

Our husbands have had the same group of best friends since grade school and put each other over everything.

One of their best friends, Richard, is married and has a baby due in a month.

But let's just say he's not handling becoming a father too well.

We learned from a girl that went to high school with our husbands that Richard recently sent her a dick pic, totally out of the blue.

They hadn't talked in years.

Then, another girl we went to high school with came forward recently saying she had received her own picture with a personalized caption about a time they had hooked up in the past.

Our husbands have already brushed both incidents under the rug.

But what do we do?

Do we call Richard out on being a total loser, go to his wife and pretend we don't know?

Please help with our dilemma.

Oh, this is fucking terrible.

I hate having information that, like, I just don't need to know, you know?

Yeah, also, it's funny that you called him Richard because of his dick.

Yeah, I think that was intentional.

Yeah, no, it's cute.

Okay, so let's set the scene.

I have to place myself here.

You are two girls who are husbands who are best friends, friends and friends from high school.

One of their friends, Richard, has a baby on the way and is sending dick pics to people.

I think you got to tell the wife.

But what is your relationship with the wife?

Probably not that close.

And then you're going to like break up this group of friends.

I think it's time for a Ron and Sam anonymous note.

I know.

I just wish that that incident hadn't gone so poorly on the Jersey Shore because I think it was a fantastic idea.

But see, here's the thing.

I don't know if I've mentioned actually recently for like the third time I'm re-watching Jersey Shore from the beginning.

And that situation is like a classic pop culture example of writing an anonymous note.

And it went so awry that people are, you know,

trepidatious of doing it.

But I think that Sam's reaction to it was so

unbelievably wrong and she got so mad.

She was so hell-bent.

She was more interested in finding out who wrote the note than finding out if what was in it was true.

And that's because if you watch, you realize now and why Sammy is not a part of this group anymore and she doesn't do the reboots is because Ron was literally the most abusive mentally, like the most emotionally, mentally abusive boyfriend of all time, like the most toxic relationship.

Like, no wonder she was so, you know, like fucked up in the head that she was so crazy about who wrote the letter.

So, I feel like we should stop using that as an example because it's not fair because she wasn't in the right head.

But I'll say, here's the thing: if you got, obviously, you just want her to know the information, but you don't want to know that it came from you because that ruins the group dynamic.

But if you receive this letter, you are eight months pregnant, and you don't know where it came from, you can't get additional information, you can't get any like context or have anyone to talk to about it.

I think that's a really terrible idea.

I think that you keep this to yourself.

Like, she's eight months pregnant.

I don't think she needs to know this right now.

And

wait until it's a better time.

Like, if nothing else happens, never mention it.

If something else happens, hopefully, it's at a time where she can

is not pregnant and doesn't need this additional stress.

And also, like, on the scale of like ruining someone's life, like, what do we do?

I just feel like a dick pic, it's like, it's a bad thing, and it's really bad.

It's cheating.

It's cheating, but like,

not worth the upheaval that will happen for like this new mom.

Well, that's the thing.

It's like, we must protect the pregnant woman at all costs.

So, whether or not you want to say something, maybe now is not the time.

She said she's eight months pregnant, so I would like wait a few months.

But no, but if you wait a few months and nothing else happens, there's no more dick picks.

Maybe Richard meets his child and is like, oh my gosh, this is like the meaning of life.

It just

low, you know, it's like, oh, Richard is going to turn into a decent human being when he meets his child, but having a pregnant wife is not enough.

I just want to say that.

I'm not saying that he is going to.

I'm saying like maybe I'm trying to give Richard like the benefit of the doubt.

But I feel like men like Richard don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

And I want to take a look at the moment.

No, but his wife deserves the time.

Like,

I just think you don't tell her anything now.

If nothing else happens ever again, you never tell her anything.

If something happens at a time where she can receive the news better, you can tell her.

But like right now, you just sit on your hands.

Oh my God, I just flipped to the next card.

I'm sorry.

We have an update on

the girl whose husband eats his toenails.

And how's the divorce going?

Have you met someone else?

Guys, we've been waiting for this.

Dear Claudia and Jackie, I have heard your requests for an update on the show recently and even on Claudia's Insta story.

So here we go.

To answer everyone's burning questions, yes, my husband is...

Still a practicing attorney.

Yes, we were still happily married.

But believe it or not, the sampling of boogers has ended.

The toe biting and earwax smelling has also ended.

We laughed for weeks after that episode.

That was all it took for someone else other than me to call him out on a podcast that we both love.

And after that, he uttered the words, okay, okay, I'm done.

Now, for everyone who doesn't believe this, I've checked the bedside for a booger wall.

I've witnessed the clippers being used on his toes, and Q-tip usage has tremendously increased.

I've done my due diligence.

It's done a changed man.

So thank you, Claudia and Jackie.

Thank you very much with love a very merry toaster we are saving lives oh my god i'm so relieved and humbled to have been of service to you and your husband and i'm so happy for you that is some really good news that's just the kind of good news we need in the holiday season and it's our last week of the shows and i feel like this is kind of emblematic of like the really important work that we do here like changing lives hearts and minds no i totally agree and sometimes all you need is a little perspective no and you know what she actually made a good point like sometimes hearing you know, like hard truths from someone totally random is like really the thing that gets you over the edge.

Yeah, no, but also like sometimes you don't know.

Like if you've been doing something for so long, you don't know that there's anything like weird or wrong with it.

And then for, to have just like two people who don't know, you have no skin in this game react the way that we did tells you everything you need to know.

No, totally.

I'm so honored that like we made such an impact.

Like our work is important.

It's, wow.

Dead.

Wow.

Well, thank you guys for writing in the updates.

If you've ever written in and we written in and we've given you advice, please write us back.

We We would love to hear from you.

We're now two weeks in a row with updates, which is so exciting because we never hear back from our little, our little campers that we send out into the wild.

I just assume no news is good news.

If you're not writing again, it means everything went well.

100%.

And that's our segment.

Again, if you ever want to write in, dear toasters at gmail.com.

Always kept anonymous, and we'll always protect you and give you great advice.

Love it.

That's all we got, you guys.

Anything you want to say before you wrap up this hump day?

No, that's all she wrote.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast The Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

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So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us, Morning Toast, leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

We hope you have an amazing day, you guys, and we will see you tomorrow for Thursday's show.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.