S3 Ep178: The Masked-d Dancer: Thursday, October 29th, 2020

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Thursday.

We are so close.

You guys,

do you smell that?

I smell it.

It smells like Friday.

She's around the corner.

We only got one more day to make it through before it's the Blessed Friday.

And for that, we have no choice but to be grateful.

And you know what else it smells like?

Toastaway tomorrow.

Oh my God.

Yes, Halloween toast, the favorite day of the year.

Jackie and I have been working on something.

We got a little...

We've been cooking it up in our bowl, like hocus-pocus.

trick up our sleeve and we think you're really gonna enjoy it So make sure you if you're a podcaster I might want to switch over to YouTube for tomorrow because it's gonna be very visually pleasing.

Yes, it's gonna be some really really fun stuff now I heard a very you know unconfirmed rumor that you have an announcement to make.

I have an announcement to make.

I've been waiting like a few weeks to make this announcement.

I just wanted to make sure, you know, everything went as planned.

But my announcement, which most people have guessed, is that Zach and I have gotten a puppy.

Yes.

He is the cutest little man man of all time.

You got him yesterday.

We got him yesterday, so I didn't want to say yes or just like yesterday just in case, but I've been with him for the last 24 hours.

We've been vlogging the whole experience and we are making a video for our Patreon if you want to know how it's been going.

And can we get a name reveal?

Yes.

So you'll see our journey to this name on the vlog because it's like 99% confirmed, but we're still

trying to make sure his personality matches his name, you know, because we don't want to be calling him something that's just not him.

But right now, his name is Bruno, which I love.

Me too.

I mean, it's like the perfect name for Zach and I to name a puppy, but I just need to make sure it's the perfect name for the puppy.

For Bruno.

Right.

So, but we've been calling him Bruno.

I call him Bruno Sweets.

Bruno.

Bruno Pacheta.

So cute.

I'm actually going over right after this to see Bruno.

No one has met him yet.

I'm just so excited.

It's going to bring me back to my early motherhood days, you know?

Yeah, no, he's such a little puppy, like such a little man.

And he really is so similar to Magnolia and Theo.

His coloring, I'm like, I, by the time you're listening to this, I will have posted the photos on my Instagram.

So head over there.

His coloring is the same as Theo, but he's a lot more red than Theo.

He's probably like 80% red, 20% white, making him like really a fusion between Theo and Magnolia.

So I think like the three of them together, it's just going to be cuteness overload.

No, it's going to be overwhelmingly stunning.

for everyone.

And I'm just so excited to welcome Bruno into the family.

I mean, anytime the family expands, we now were like a brigade of three dogs, which is just crazy.

Like, it's going to be very hard for us to travel.

But I'm just, it's such a wonderful day.

And I love welcoming a new puppy to the scene.

Yeah, it's just yesterday was so special.

Tell me about the moment.

Tell me about the moment.

You went to LaGuardia?

Yes, we picked him up and he was like so cute.

He was obviously like a little confused, a little scared.

So we were just like in the car with him, soothing him.

We brought him into the apartment.

And it's been raining in New York.

As you can tell, it looks like 8 p.m.

outside.

It does.

And so we've made the the decision for like these first few days, he's not going to be leaving our house because I've been reading this book on Cavaliers.

Now that like Zach is all in on the Cavalier life, which we talk about in the vlog, because if you've been following for a while, you know that he took him some time.

He was all out for a while.

Yeah.

So we've been reading this book that just talks about how the first few days are very important.

So we've literally been like nesting and just trying to get him comfortable, like walking at his pace with his little legs, like trying not to carry him everywhere in the house, like letting him discover the house.

And so he's been like peeing and pooping wherever he he pleases.

And is that your worst nightmare?

Um, no, yes, obviously it's like our house doesn't smell like it did two days ago, but it's it's worth it for all the love that it brings.

Did I not tell you that?

No, and I've always known that.

I've just, I'm now good and ready.

And so yesterday, and I'm just glad to see that he's peeing and pooping, you know, like that's things are working.

Things are working.

And so it's...

It's, you know, a constant work in progress and he has a long way to go.

But we're going to do the work and I'm really excited.

It's the start of a really just beautiful journey for you.

I'm so happy for you.

And you know what?

I feel like some things are just like meant to be and your love for Theo while I'm so like I'm going to miss it and it's not going anywhere, but you have more energy to channel to move.

I think like I had too much love for Theo.

Like it was spilling over and like there was nowhere for it to go.

No, and it was like at that point, like if you love a dog so much, you need one.

I know.

And I've needed one for a while and I finally have one.

It's very exciting.

And like last night, we were on my bed, like reading the book for the Redheads, and he was just like sleeping next to me.

And it's like, this is what I've been dreaming of.

Yeah.

And it's just really exciting.

I'm very happy for you.

Thank you.

And he's so cute.

And I cannot wait to meet him.

Like, I'm literally rushing through the show so I could go home and meet him.

Yeah.

And he'll be joining the Pups with No Job Instagram account.

It's just going to be like super premium content per usual.

He's just like...

the cutest man.

Bruno Sweets.

He's TCM, the cutest man.

He's the cutest man.

Um, well, it's just very exciting, and I'm so glad everyone guessed it.

And everyone knew, and it's not that I was like really trying to be like secret projecty.

It's just like I don't like to say things before they happen because I just feel like it's kind of a jinx.

I'm like superstitious about that.

You are.

So it's not that I didn't want to say or wasn't excited.

I just wanted to make sure like everything went as planned.

Everything went smoothly.

People had some other funny guesses.

Like some of the guesses I was like, I fucking wish.

Like people were like, no, she definitely bought a house on a farm like in the suburbs.

Oh, yeah.

I fucking wish.

Oh, no, now I need to go do that.

Well, now that we have three dogs, like it wouldn't be right to not get them a vacation home.

No, I know.

I'm so excited for when the three of them get together.

Like, it's not going to happen for a while because I don't want to overwhelm him.

Like, I really want him to just, like, be really comfortable

because I think in the long run, it'll pay off in droves.

Like, Theo, like, the most independent man alive, Theodore Fichemin.

And just, like, the most perf Chemin.

Like, it doesn't get better than Theo, but I hope you can get close.

No, I know.

And I was reading this book on cavaliers and how you should like train them and treat them and how much dependency versus codependency.

And he

it pretty much like spelled out what Theo

went through and like what his journey has been and like where Theo is today is like the goal for all the byproduct of all the work you put in in the first year.

Like puppy years are so important.

Yeah, so I'm really just trying to do all of the right things right now and we're just enjoying our time.

So it's been really exciting.

Woke up super early.

I think you're about to become like, if it's possible, even more of a homebody.

Yeah.

No, I mean, it's not possible, which is why I've needed a little man.

Yeah.

And if, I don't, I don't want to even put it out there, but if we go into like a wave three lockdown, joy.

Joy to the world.

Bruno is here.

Bruno is fucking here.

Let every pub

know of Bruno.

Let Theo and Magnolia sing.

Let Theo and Magnolia sing.

Let Theo and Magnolia sing.

Hey,

so congratulations.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Can I give a little personal life update?

Sure.

I, it's kind of a big deal.

I have recently gotten into napping.

And I wish this was something I really started like when things were real locked down because now it's like we're sort of transitioning back to regular life and it's like a weird time for me to be taking up like midday naps.

But when I was in college, I used to take like a two-hour nap every single day.

It was the best part of my day.

And then of course, like, I got busy with, you know, my bustling career and I just couldn't do that anymore.

But I'm now two days in a row napping.

Yesterday I napped, get ready, for three hours.

And then I went back to sleep like after dinner, like at a very normal time.

And it's...

It's a wonderful thing, especially in these unprecedented times.

I think that naps should really be made a priority for everyone.

Yeah, I've taken like a handful of naps in this situation and they've always been nice.

They can sometimes be a little disoriented.

Of course.

And I sometimes like wake up with anxiety and like I feel my phone buzzing like through my sleeve and it's just like kind of torture.

But when you hit that right nap,

nothing better.

Esto, banjo, no es bruno.

I think what I've really struggled with during quarantine is coming to the realization of like how long the days are.

There's just so many hours.

And when you nap through like three of them, it really makes it go by faster.

Oh, well, that too.

Was Theo napping with you?

That is a good question.

I don't know.

It was such a deep nap, like I don't remember.

I want to say no.

That would make it just the creme de la creme.

I know, but I actually don't think that he was.

But when we fell asleep last night, like, Theo's nose was truly between my butt cheeks.

And, like, it was amazing.

Like, he just happened to really just squirrel into my ass.

And I, like, wasn't mad about it at all.

It was like really just a beautiful moment between mother and son.

That's nice.

Maybe like he knew in his heart and soul, like, he was getting another cousin.

And he was like, thank you, mommy.

The people who think that Theo is my human son are like, her kid put his nose up for us.

L-O-L.

Oh, also, I don't know if I mentioned this, but I have a book coming out.

It's called, Yeah, yeah, no.

Did you not know?

No, no, I didn't know.

Oh, no, that's so crazy.

You've been busy with the dog.

Like, I understand.

But let me know.

My mind's been elsewhere.

Let me tell you a little bit about it.

It's called Girl with No Job: The Crazy, Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster.

It's really just like an overarching 10-chapter book about my life, my career, personal life, dealing with the death of my father, body image, meeting Ben, breaking into comedy, cancel culture, a lot of really interesting things.

That even if you listen to this podcast or you're a Patreon member and like you know everything about me, there's so much more to know.

I'm just like a constant, you know,

source of knowledge and information and the book yeah it's available on amazon for pre-order um pre-order is actually really important for authors especially first-time authors because you know uh at certain retailers like barnes and noble it's really hard to get on the shelves but if you have very strong pre-order numbers pre-order hardcover kindle any format ebook um it really helps you know me get to like the airport you know and that's like my goal i'm trying to get to the airport yeah so Girlwithnojob.com slash book, or if you just head over to my Instagram, there's tons of links in my stories and the link in my bio.

I would really appreciate any support as this is my first book and you only get one chance to be a first-time author so again girlwithnojob.com slash book really appreciate all the support thus far it's really been overwhelming that's beautiful speaking of books i just finished a book for the redheads we're recording today

so if you have questions about the book email the redheads book club at gmail.com and for the redhead stands i just want to assure you like there will be a girl with no job book episode in january just in time for the release and i'm really looking forward to like diving into it like we don't hold back no i know and i'm honestly like nervous I feel like it's like going on the view for books.

No, it is the view for books.

And you will be the first author that we've ever invited on the show.

You know, what's so interesting is how we always talk about here, like, how we like label ourselves.

Like, are we influencers?

Are we podcasters?

And it's like, my whole life has been leading up to, like, I'm an author.

Yeah.

And I think that's how I'm going to be addressed moving forward.

You think so?

I think I'm going to have to get my PhD.

I mean.

Doctor, no job.

Dr.

Fichemon.

Yeah.

He has his PhD.

He's actually getting a haircut today, today, which is his favorite time of day.

Oh my God, that's when he's the best in the biz.

Truly.

His groomer uses the most amazing, expensive shampoo.

I think it's called like Lepooch.

It's like literally so expensive.

And I went to buy it once, like, because I give Theo baths, like, not as in-depth as she does, but it was, like, so expensive.

And I'm like, you're using, trust me, like getting the bath.

But when she does it, it's like a real treat, you know?

Wow, that's exciting.

I can't wait to see him whenever I do for that special moment.

And hopefully we're hoping that Bruno and Theo can meet maybe this weekend and see where his disposition's at.

Let's take that, let's not rush.

You know, we have a lifetime ahead of us.

I know.

Very exciting.

Very exciting.

So, with all the excitement behind us, I think it might be time.

Okay, let's go.

To get into the Fast Five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And that's true.

And

I would be silly to even argue with that.

So let's leave it at that.

Okay, well, first of all, everyone is talking about The Bachelorette, Claire Crawley's decision to not be The Bachelorette any longer.

A Bachelorette executive went on Nick Viles podcast and

is spilling some tea, truly.

So ABC's Entertainment Rob Mills appeared on the former Bachelor Nick Viles podcast on Wednesday, where he acknowledged that producers knew from the start that Claire's season would be unpredictable.

Not this unpredictable, however, he said.

He said it became clear that Claire's season couldn't continue on as usual when she decided to not give out a rose at the end of a group date that did not include Dale, choosing instead to give the rose to herself.

At the time, it was sort of controversial, he said.

This was the time when we started thinking, oh my god, like we've really got to start thinking about this.

When she didn't give out that rose and just gave it to herself, Nick said, I felt like I saw that coming.

It's like, Dale's not on the state.

I'm not just not going to give a rose.

And Mr.

Mills said, right, that was it.

That was it.

And that was when we started making the call to pivot.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean,

I feel like

part of me is like, yes, it was was very obvious that the season couldn't go on.

But I know that the producers of The Bachelor like make people do things all the time.

And part of me thinks they could have just like made Claire pretend for the rest and like just edited all together to like a shitty season, which I'm actually glad that they didn't do.

But like there was a way to make this work.

Yeah.

They have forced people to do worse things.

Then, so say she didn't give it to anyone.

And then they were like, no, Claire, you have to go give it to someone.

Like all of those guys would have been, and especially whoever got it, would have been like, oh, fuck this.

But they wouldn't have shown us that.

No, but like you could feel morale.

Like at a certain point, like people, there's only so much movie magic you can do.

Yeah, and you know, morale has been like a really interesting concept on the show because I feel like because everyone was quarantined for six months, they were more excited than usual to like start the season.

So, we only started, like, we started at a record high morale in bachelor, like, history, and we've also achieved a record low.

Yeah.

Also, I feel like if they had continued the season, like, anytime she went on a one-on-one date, if she's so in love with Dale and thinks he's her fiancé, like, she probably wouldn't have kissed anyone else.

Yeah.

And so then we're only seeing like these makeout scenes of her and Dale and she's not kissing anyone and it's like what like also the viewers you know yeah no there's only so much you can get away with and I hate when you can tell when a season is so heavily edited some are much more edited than others I think like in recent history the most edited one I remember was Nick Viles how like we felt so confused remember that volleyball date where like half the girls went home and they like never even addressed it it was so edited and it was meant to protect I think Vanessa Ramaldi in the editing because they didn't want her to be the villain because then she ended up winning.

And I feel like they had something to prove like when they didn't want Nick to come out as the bad guy, because so many people were like, Nick sucks, because of like the whole Annie Dorkman drama.

So I'm actually glad that we were spared such an

overtly edited season because it's confusing and it's exhausting.

And I hate feeling like there's something they're not telling us.

Yeah.

And I'm so excited for Tayshia.

Yeah.

And this has made it like extremely dramatic, really like the most dramatic in a while.

In a while.

Chris Harrison's words are ringing true.

Also, some interesting tea

that Mr.

Mills shared.

I can't for the life of me remember his first name,

Robert Mills, shared, was that

Chris Stouse was considered for the Bachelorette over 10 years ago.

Was she ever a contestant?

No, he said, I actually had lunch with Chrische.

This was about 10 or 11 years ago to talk about being the Bachelorette.

Eventually, it wound up being Deanna,

who was the one who spoke to Claire.

He said, there was a time when Bachelorette was sort of done, just like every so often when they decided to do it.

He said a casting director recommended Stouse, Stouse, who was on All My Children for the gig.

Oh, and they weren't just picking contestants, they were just picking people.

Yeah, he said we had this incredible lunch.

I think it was at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and she was awesome, and I was convinced.

I'm like, this is the bachelorette.

However, there was a big push at the time to give the role to Deanna Papas, one of the two women sent home by Brad Womack in the Season 11 finale.

Got it.

Even Ellen called ABC to recommend her.

Crichelle?

Deanna.

Oh.

Which is why it went to Deanna.

Wait, what is Ellen's involvement?

I don't know.

She just like felt really strongly that it should be her.

Can I say like that this week's episode was the first time I'd ever heard the name Deanna and like I've been watching The Bachelor forever?

Well now that I hear like I agree but now reading like Deanna Papas and Brad the Brad Wilmack I didn't watch that season but now it's all coming back to me.

It's not even remotely ringing a bell and her face didn't ring a bell either when she sat with

Claire, but I actually think she gave some pretty good advice.

Yeah, honestly Chris would have been amazing on The Bachelor.

Like she's so bachelor-y like even so eligible.

When I was watching her on the show I'm like she reminds me of everyone from The Bachelor.

Yeah.

Like, that really, she could have gone down that road and like still ended up being the same.

Exactly where she is.

Yeah.

Totally.

Except for the Justin Hartley part.

Oh, yeah.

But that was like the worst part of it.

Of all the things she's accomplished, that's like not even the coolest one, you know?

Selling sunset, Dancing with the Stars.

But I don't think she would have been there without the marriage.

It would have been a very different situation.

Honestly, I feel like she could still be in the Bachelorette.

Yeah.

She's in the ABC family now with Dancing with the Stars.

Yeah.

And she's single.

And she's beautiful.

And she's like bachelor-y.

Yeah.

There's something.

I don't know if it's like the haircut, the makeup, the fotch.

Like there's that look.

Yeah.

She is the look.

Yeah.

So I just thought that was interesting.

This sounds like a very interesting podcast episode for anyone looking for bachelor tea.

Wow, sounds like a lot of people.

Next story, a little unhappy couple news.

Brad Pitt and his girlfriend, Nicole Potoralski, have broken up.

Isn't she like 11?

Is she?

No.

He's 27.

She's 27.

Okay.

Brad Pitt and German model Nicole Pachoralski have split.

Page six has learned.

The couple who were spotted together in August are totally over, according to a source.

It was never all that serious as it was cracked up to be, the source said.

We're told the breakup happened a while back.

How old is Brad Pitt?

56.

And she's 27.

Yes.

So that is more than double, right?

Just wondering.

I'm not...

being judgy.

I'm just genuinely like, is the math?

27 times 2 is...

52.

And how old did you say he was?

54.

And how old did you say he was?

56.

So, yes, okay, more than double.

I was just, I'm not being shady.

I'm just like, genuinely curious.

You know, I have a curious mind.

I'm so into like digits.

It's crazy.

On the one hand, I want Brad Pitt to like be in love forever and be in a relationship that makes him so happy.

But on the other hand, like, I don't know that I thought that this was like end game.

No, I definitely did not think it was end game.

And I don't know if I really see like a long-term relationship for Brad Pitt.

I feel like he was in back-to-back, Jennifer Aniston,

Angelina Jolie.

And I feel like now he just wants to get like, not to be disgusting, like he just wants to get his dick wet, you know?

And his freak on.

Yeah.

And I'm okay with that.

Like his kids are grown.

And I feel like it's not a midlife crisis because he's like already accomplished so much in like his family life.

And I just feel like he's like over the drama of like tumultuous relationships.

And I'm here for whoever he wants to bang.

Like I really am.

I don't know.

I think at a certain point, maybe we're nearing that point.

Like he's going to want real companionship.

Yeah.

And I do think at some point like he might go back to gin like i really do feel that way i know the internet would like literally implode and like shit itself but and i don't even stand them necessarily even honestly when he broke up with her i was like so team angelina but and i was also seven years old at the time um

i don't i don't like ship them so hard but i do think there's a very strong possibility that like they get back together i don't think at all

not now but soon i don't think so I mean, I think I'll have a substantial relationship, but I don't think that that's the one.

And I I don't think that she would ever do it.

Even if she was dying to, I don't think she would.

Oh, I 100% think she would.

Like, literally two fucking seconds.

No, like, that's just.

No, I just think that she, like, literally would drop everything to go be with him.

Wouldn't you?

I don't know.

I mean, yeah, I would.

But after what he put her through, I don't know if I like my dignity.

I know, but also at the end of the day, it's like, did he actually put her through a lot?

Or was it just like literally dramatized in the tabloids for over 10 years?

No, no, I think he put her through a lot.

And it was dramatized in the tabloids for over 10 years.

It's literally still on the cover of every like supermarket magazine.

Wow, I haven't been to a supermarket in so long.

I was just thinking about that.

I love the supermarket.

I know.

I need to go.

I need to like see what's new and like the food aisle.

Yeah, but with all like the delivery options, it's just like it's so easy not to go.

But when I get my groceries delivered and I'm like shopping online, like I can't think

of how to place myself in the store.

I need to visualize it.

I'm literally ordering from my previous order.

I'm like, just refill my cart.

I wasn't happy with my previous order either.

No, I know.

And then the food comes and I'm like, where is the food?

Like, it's literally just like water and rice cakes.

Like, and where is the food?

No, I totally agree.

That's why you need to go to the supermarket to get inspired.

Yeah, but I don't live near any supermarkets.

It's probably the one downside of, like, I love my apartment and I love everything about my building and my area.

But the closest supermarket is like a couple avenues over, which is a fucking far walk, especially if you're carrying groceries.

So.

That's a struggle.

And that's why I'm using, I don't know how we went from talking about Brad Pitt to grocery stores, but oh yeah, yeah, grocery store tabloids.

But I'm just saying, like, I love grocery stores.

And you know what I really love?

Non-city suburban grocery stores.

Oh my god, of course.

You could get all your steps in.

Like a Publix is

heaven on earth.

Sickening the Public.

Key food, a key food?

Sickening.

Yeah, but in the city, like Fairway is pretty legit.

Fairway is actually incredible.

Treats.

It depends on which location, though, because some of them, when they don't have a lot of real estate, they're built linear so it's like an escalator with your car yeah no and it's like all the the aisles are like curvy it's like fucking tetris but the one on 32nd and second is truly a dream yeah that's a nice place to be because they've got some sweet treats that are like you want to eat you know unlike Trader Joe's.

I mean, I guess people like Trader Joe's, but I just feel like everything there is healthy.

No, I know.

And then it's not because then they have like Jingle Jingle and all of these things that you see that go viral.

And it's like sweet treats.

And like, maybe I should go to Trader Joe's.

Something about Trader Joe's, like, it's good if you need something, but like, to have your whole apartment, like, be stocked from Trader Joe's is so bizarre to me because they don't sell like name brand.

There's no like Nabisco.

There's no pull and spring.

It's just like Trader Joe's brands, which is cool for them.

But something about it feels like very like Hallmark movie where everything is like fake.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Prop food.

Yeah.

No, I don't get that vibe, but I can explain the vibe that I do get because it's like not Whole Foods, but I do sort of categorize them together.

Yeah, no, they're definitely similar, but I think Whole Foods like carries products from other brands not the most well-known brands like Annie's right, whereas like Trader Joe's is like Trader Joe's mac and cheese.

Are you sure they don't have brands?

I don't think so.

I think they do.

No, not really.

Like they literally have their own brand like for everything.

But it's the same product.

Yeah, but it's just like the obsession with themselves at Trader Joe's, like that's what I find bizarre.

Got it.

So yes, in the city, I would definitely rank Fairway as the number one grocery store in this group.

And then I think I would go Morton Williams.

Yeah, but Morton Williams is just like standard and so small.

Yeah, you're not gonna find any like new discoveries there.

Actually, before Morton Williams, I would probably put like the last few dying Dagostinos.

No, no, no.

Yeah, I love Dagostinos.

No, no, no, no, no.

But yes, not living near a grocery store is really hard.

So that's what I was trying to say.

And Brad Pitt, wishing you the best of luck in your romantic endeavors.

Yes, and speaking of romantic endeavors, Adele is saying that she's single after she's been linked to the rapper Skeptum.

And I'm not so, I'm feeling skeptical.

Yeah, so the other day people were saying Adele had a new man's, the British rapper Skepta.

But then yesterday she posted saying, happy Halloween.

I'm going back to my cave now to be the single cat lady that I am.

Peace out till next year.

So it felt like she just wanted to let us know that she's single.

Because she could have made the sentiment on her caption like the same without like going out of her way to say that she was single.

Right.

Also, the single's in parentheses.

So it was like single.

She's telling us us something.

She's singled out single.

Yeah.

And maybe it's because she heard like Brad Pitt was single.

So she's like trying to keep her options.

Oh, you know what?

I know.

That's what I was going to say next.

That's not the most, like, that actually makes a lot of sense, Adele and Brad Pitt.

Like, you would never think it, but now that I'm seeing them together, I feel like Brad Pitt obviously like loves a beautiful woman and Adele is stunning, but I think he also really values like someone with like a neshama, you know, like a soul, like a

great spirit about them.

And I've never met her, but what I get from Adele is that not only is she like so inherently talented, it's like she has that type of magnetic personality that people just like want to be around she's like hysterical but she literally could have made it as a comedian or a model but she like just happened to be like the most incredible singer in the world like i feel like she has that type of magnetic energy that brad is really looking for yeah i i hope that someone sets them up on a date me too i don't know who

adele is friends with jennifer lawrence

And I feel like Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper are friendly.

Yeah.

And that might be how we get them together.

Yeah, they have to get the gang together.

Yeah, like a a game night or something.

Oh my God, that was just.

Adele definitely loves games.

Adeller.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I hope Adele is out there playing in the field.

It sounds like she is, if she's being linked to someone, but then saying she's single, like she's letting all the other men on the bench know, like, no, no, no, no, like there's other, like, you're not special.

You're still in the game.

So I just hope that she...

is having a great ass time.

Me too.

I like get so mad when I think about what Adele has like been through because she had to give her ex-husband like $70 million

because like, yeah, she gave literally half her fortune.

I think it was something because of like the British rules on like community property.

I don't know what it was, but like, I don't know why, like, that just makes me mad.

Yeah, I didn't know that.

It makes me mad.

Like, she literally bared her soul, toured for years, like, worked so hard.

And like, here we are, just like forking over $70 million to the man who broke her heart.

No, no, but you know what?

Like,

she, like, she'll be fine.

That situation has given her probably the fuel to make another 70 like that.

100%.

Like, one more album and tour, Merch, you're fine, but it's just upsetting.

Yeah, for sure.

Okay, next story.

Kylie Jenner admits to feeling sad about having to hide her true personality.

So Kylie joined James Charles on his YouTube channel, and she admitted to feeling sad about not being able to show her most authentic self.

She said, I think that I showed my true personality for so long ago on Vine and Instagram, but as I got bigger and bigger, I realized when people used to say really mean things about how I really am, my personality and what I love the most about myself, it would hurt me more than almost playing a character.

She said, so I just started doing a little less, which is sad.

It makes me sad.

James pointed out to his fans just how witty and funny Kylie is, to which she responded, you saying that, that's a bigger compliment to me, but it's something that is so sacred.

I feel like this is something that has, we've spoken about a good amount.

Hashtag who is Kylie Jenner?

Who is Kylie Jenner?

And I think now she's in a place where she shows a little bit of herself, but enough like to keep us happy and a little enough to keep her protected.

Right.

Like, if you followed her on social media and like watched her content, you would think she's like this dud because she really just doesn't share that much about who she is.

But what I find so interesting is that she's like this deeply complex, interesting, like, personable person, and she really doesn't let people share that.

And she still managed to literally become the most successful, like, young entrepreneur because of social media without ever really showing us who she was.

And I feel like, in addition to some other reasons, that's maybe why she doesn't go on keeping up.

Definitely.

Because even like the snippets we got of her this season, like in Palm Springs, there was so much personality that jumped off the screen.

We got a whole new song.

Come on.

I am wasting.

I just finished a whole cup of 42 and I'm about to go for my second one.

Courtney, what the fuck are you on?

So I just feel like

she might have to give too much of herself to be on the show in addition to like all the other reasons why she doesn't do it.

But

that starts to make a little bit more sense.

Yeah.

And there when her Snapchat was like super popular and she'd already become so famous, she like was in her house one night with Jordan Woods and they were like being crazy like sitting in the pantry eating cereal and she was like it was the most personality we'd ever really seen from her and she was like this is like the real me you guys hashtag who is kylie jenner and it was just like so sad but it was really true and then we never saw that girl again yeah and maybe she's now popping out in this james charles video you know yesterday i did say that i thought she was pregnant and i still stand by that but she did drink in the video and her instagram stories have been showing like a lot of like you know midrift region but i still stand by it um okay and i looked into it like i said that i would and i don't think that she is but she did open up in the video about her dream to expand her family she said i want more so bad i actually think about it every day i just still don't know when i'm not planning i don't have a time for that to happen

i don't know so she definitely wants more kids claude thinks she's having them now i don't think she's pregnant but we'll find out soon enough i guess i feel like a lot of them could be pregnant i think chloe could also very possibly be pregnant and i don't know people are thinking that courtney and scott are like back together back together and i do think Courtney would have another kid.

So.

Okay, I don't think Chloe's pregnant either.

And I think Courtney and Scott are the same Courtney and Scott that we've always seen.

I think the picture that they took on the beach like is a picture that they could have taken even when Scott was dating Sophia and like nothing has changed.

I think one of them's pregnant and I think it's Kylie, but we'll see.

I really don't think any of them are.

I do.

But they'll let us know when they're ready if they are.

I do.

They'll let us know when they're ready.

Yeah, no, and I'm gonna speculate until then.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

I thought we were done doing that.

No, never.

Oh, my God.

No, I literally think, like, you've said, like, we need to stop asking women.

No, did I ask them?

I'm just speculating.

Okay, fine.

Do what you got to do.

Yeah.

I'm going to give them the space and time that they need.

Okay, you're so much better than me.

Fifth and final story: a little new TV show news that sounds pretty good.

The masked dancer might be even wilder.

Yeah, I know.

The masked dancer might be even wilder than the masked singer.

Craig Robinson is said to host Fox's The Masked Dan.

I fucking love Craig Robinson.

With a group of panelists, you will never be able to guess.

Honestly, they are an interesting group of panelists, but I approve.

So, if you, there's a show called The Masked Dancer.

Who do you think would be a judge?

Like, one of the huffs?

Okay, that's a good guess, but no.

J-Lo?

No.

Jenna Dewan?

No.

They already have jobs doing that.

Yeah, that's why I'm saying them.

So is it young people, like

newer?

Not super new.

Dan, okay, like TikTokers?

No.

Dancers.

Established celeb dancers.

Like, they're literally, I don't think you would, you might be able to guess one.

Wait, I really want to guess.

Hold on.

Boys or girls?

Two boys, two girls.

Huh.

Two boy dancers.

No.

No.

Boys are not dancers.

The girls are dancers.

Yes.

And one of them is a big dancer.

A BD?

A BD, like very established in the industry, has done this kind of work before.

Oh my God, I literally the only person in my mind is julianne half like who paula abdul

okay i literally would have never guessed her and the other woman is ashley tisdale

and the show's sounding worse and worse and the two men are ken jung and brian austen green

excuse me yeah your favorite guy oh my god this show just went from actually being something i would potentially watch just because i I absolutely adore Craig Robinson.

I think he's actually one of the funniest comedians of our generation and he doesn't get enough credit, first of all.

Second of all, this panel of judges, like each name was more disgraceful than the next.

I actually think the only person that I don't hate is Ashley Tisdale.

Well, isn't Ken Jung a panelist singer?

Okay, so that him coming over makes this the masked dancer.

I know.

I'm here for that.

I guess, but like.

And he's shown that he has judging chops.

I think the one who makes the least sense is Brian Oxengreen.

1,000%.

This is really bizarre.

Like, it should literally be Charlie D'Amilio.

Like, they want this to be successful.

Probably be, like, a masked dancer.

Yeah, but you need to have some, like,

star power on your panel.

I mean, honestly, the panel for masked singers, pretty good.

Robin Thick, Nicole Scherzinger, Jenny McCarthy, even though she's not a singer, but like,

I don't know.

I think that TV shows, like, really need to start hiring, like...

Gen Z and millennial consultants because I don't know what they're doing over there, but like

this was like a decent, not even a good, like a decent idea that was really squandered.

Like, let us help you, okay?

This is, this could have been great.

No, it's just fine, and it's just bizarre.

Here's the description of the new series: The Mask de Dancer will feature celebrity contestants shaking their tail feathers while covered from head to toe in elaborate costumes and face masks.

That sounds like very technically challenging.

And by the way, I always think it's hard to sing on the masked singer in those huge things.

Can you imagine like shaking your ass?

I would have had, I literally would go into heat stroke.

Leaving audiences to guess their identities.

Costumed celebrities will be joined on stage by mask de partners and

backup dancers as they perform a series of dances together, spanning from hip-hop to salsa, jazz, to tap dancing, and more.

When it comes to dance styles, the sky is the limit.

Can we talk about some of our favorite failed competition shows?

Sure.

You know

what was one that really made no sense?

The four.

Oh, yeah, that was fucking weird.

Like, yeah, but they got good judges.

Oh, I thought they got really good singers.

Both.

Megan Traynor was a judge.

P.

Diddy.

DJ Khaled hosted

Charlie Walk, who it's like a big music industry exec, but I think he was brought down in the Me Too movement.

So maybe that was like the demise of the judge.

There was a fourth one, right?

Because they're the four.

Oh, that is what they would be.

Yeah.

I guess I could just do a swift Google.

I really missed the days of X Factor.

I think that was the perfect reality show.

And to be honest, if there's a voice, a singing competition show and Simon Cowell isn't involved, like, I'm not interested.

Okay, here's the team.

On the four.

Sean Diddy Combs, DJ Khaled, and Megan Trainer were panelists, and Fergie was a host.

And they obviously cut Charlie Walk out of that description because he was the little man on the end.

Yeah, he was like the, you know, the token.

The LA Reed.

Yeah.

The Simon Cowell.

Right.

L.A.

Reed was on X Factor.

There was just a time where X Factor was like literally the cornerstone of my day.

Like, first of all, that's where I discovered Fifth Harmony.

Remember, Remember, Carly Rosanna and Claire.

There was so much goodness.

Bea Miller.

Right.

And she's actually pretty big.

But then there was also like the amazing judges.

Demi Lovato was a judge.

Britney Spears was a judge.

They were paying them like $30 million for like 10 episodes.

It was crazy.

But X Factor really never hit that big here.

Here.

But Fifth Harmony did.

Yeah.

Well, because they just, you know, the cream always rises.

But like, it's so big in the UK.

And isn't that where we got

Susan Boyle?

Yes.

Have I been Britain's Got Talent?

No, I think it was X Factor.

Okay.

You know what I don't watch either is America's Got Talent.

No, me neither.

But it's not for any particular reason.

I actually think they always pick great hosts.

They went from Nick Hannon and Tyra and now Terry Cruz, who I love.

I'm just like not interested in seeing people's talents if it's not singing.

Yeah, no, like dancing and like

hats and like to me.

To me, like...

It's like a fourth grade talent show.

That's literally what it is.

America's Got Talent show.

And the singers always rise and they always usually win yeah so that's why i don't like america's got talent but there have just over the years been so many random like competition like singing or just like talent shows that i love to take a walk down memory lane yeah i don't really watch that many i guess it's just not my format except for shark tank

and

songland such a brilliant show brilliant Both are so brilliant.

Both have like taught me so much about industries that I really did not know much about.

That's actually true, especially about Shark Tank, like the nature of entrepreneurship.

Yeah.

Entrepreneurship.

Mescadens, sir.

Entrepreneurship.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And as they say on Shark Tank, Shark Tank has ignited the entrepreneurial spirit of America.

It's mad true.

And I feel like before Shark Tank, if you said you were an entrepreneur, it's like, oh, you're unemployed.

And now it's like, oh, either you're unemployed or you're like very successful.

And just that like balance has really done wonders for the entrepreneur community.

I agree.

No, like it's not as much of like a sad word anymore.

Like it actually has some weight to it.

And that's because of people like Mark Cuban Cuban and Damon and all those wonderful guys.

And the crew.

And the crew.

They're back, actually.

They're doing like socially distance episodes.

I haven't watched yet.

I haven't watched either.

I go in like in phases, you know.

And I don't like to watch one episode on Hulu.

I need like four.

Yeah, so I just like to binge.

Speaking of TV, the Railhouse Bus of Orange County was on last night, and I'm just like really excited to announce that I didn't watch it.

And I'm excited to announce that I knew that Claudia wasn't watching it, so I didn't watch it.

And instead, I finished my book and then I treated myself to an episode of Queen's Gambit.

Oh my god, I watched one too, one also.

Once you have, she finally gets to Paris.

Oh, I'm not there.

She just left Las Vegas.

Oh, she's so like determined.

You know who she reminds me of?

And I know no one's going to feel my call.

Wait, but she is reminding me of someone, so I'm hoping you can nail it.

Because my calls are based on mind, body, and spirit, as you know.

And she reminds me of Kendall Jenner.

What?

You'll see it soon.

People.

You'll see it soon.

Not at all, but it's such a good show.

I treated myself.

And the reason why I didn't watch Real House Size of Orange County last night is because I've really just been prioritizing sleep and

once you listen to your body and your body says like we cannot watch this trash we need to go to sleep it's such

a mind-blowing experience and I really I implore our listeners to prioritize sleep yeah and for me it was like I knew you weren't watching and I needed to finish my book so like that was the priority but then when I did have a little bit of time I was like with Bruno and I'm like I don't want him to judge me for the trash that I watch.

No, you're welcoming him into your home and you're going to show him Gina?

Like, honestly, no.

That would be setting a bad example.

Right.

So instead, I was like, let's learn a little bit about chess.

Oh, yeah.

See, that's the kind of, I firmly believe like the, the culture and the media you put around your children like really has an impact on them.

You are what you watch.

Right now, I feel like Theo was really born on like friends, and that's why he's such a friendly person.

That's so true.

I'll have to figure out like what Bruno's likes.

Likes and dislikes are going to be.

So I'm going to watch at some point.

We'll just restart our OC recaps next week.

I'm not in the mood to like recap it tomorrow.

Like, that's just pathetic.

If it was a good show, maybe.

But also, Kardashians are on tonight.

And also, like, I haven't heard anything about the episode.

Like, me neither.

So, I think we're okay.

Sorry.

So, we'll just pick back up next week and Kardashian recap tomorrow, which I will be watching.

I'm actually going over to my friend Ana's house tonight, and she's cooking dinner and she's such a good cook.

Like, I'm really looking forward.

I'm going to go over in like stretchy pants and no makeup and just, like, feast and then sit on her couch and watch Kardashians.

Wow, that sounds so amazing.

I'm recording Redheads, and then I'll be getting home and getting my little man.

Oh, I'm going to meet the little man.

Oh, he hasn't ever seen Kardashians.

He's going to love it.

Oh, he definitely feels like the type of man who appreciates strong, successful women.

Strong, successful, and beautiful women.

And he himself, I think, is going to grow up to be beautiful, stunning, and smart.

Yeah.

It'll be so wonderful to like watch him grow and see what he does with his life.

Okay, we need to wrap the show because I forgot I'm going over to Bruno's place and I'm going to get to meet him for the first time.

So if you want to see what Bruno looks like, head over to my Instagram, head over to Pups With No Job.

He's just the cutest little man and I'm just really excited for this journey for myself.

We are here at the Toast are so excited.

We will support you.

This is obviously a, you know, we provide free daycare for all of our employees here at the Morning Toast.

So Bruno is always welcome here if you need to, you know, change his diaper or anything.

Like this is a very safe space for you.

Yeah.

And I'm in that.

I will bring him to the show.

Maybe next week I'll see how he's doing like on an adjustment level.

So we'll see him on the show soon, but not too soon.

And then eventually once he's in a rhythm, like he'll be a staple just like his cousin.

Thank you guys so much for listening to to the Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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So, don't forget that.

Have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

goodbye, bye bye.