S3 Ep157: Yikes Massie: Wednesday, September 30th, 2020

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy hump day.

We're almost through the week.

It flew by.

I love not doing work on Mondays.

It's such a fabulous way to start the week.

Would you rather not have work on Mondays or have to fast on Mondays?

Um, I think think I would.

Yeah, I don't know.

I think I would take the work day.

It's like, what do I love more?

Being lazy or eating?

They go hand in hand.

They do go hand in hand.

Today's hump day, but you wouldn't know it because the man of the hour, he's not here today.

He has a very busy schedule, so I've heard.

Yeah, I spoke to him briefly this morning about his decision to not come in, and it was multifaceted.

The first is that he's obviously just busy.

I mean...

If you looked like that, wouldn't you be busy too?

100%.

And the other was something he was like a little less comfortable talking to me about.

Okay.

He feels like he's just kind of been pulling focus from the show with his beauty and grace and charm and uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

And he just didn't feel right about it.

He thinks a lot of the, you know, the show is kind of concentrated around him.

Yeah.

Oh, there are police at our door.

What is going on?

Are they looking for us?

I don't think so, but like so much drama at successful savings.

So much drama at successful savings.

Okay, they're gone.

Wow, that was crazy.

That was.

I agree.

He's definitely been feeling some type of way about like all eyes on him all the time.

Yesterday, he was just like the king of symmetry as he sat.

Oh, the police wave to us.

Have a good day.

I wonder if they're toasters.

Definitely not.

The king of symmetry as he sat like dead center in between us and our guests.

It was just something to behold.

Yeah, so he just felt like he was really, really pulling focus.

And that's not what, you know, Rome is about.

And he just wanted to take himself out of the the equation for a minute and I kind of respect that seeing as how you know this is our show and we should be the stars yeah we have no choice but to respect his decision and we have no choice but to be the stars no we we have no choice I am deep into mad men and I just I cannot like I'm mad at myself for not watching it sooner but I'm also enjoying it so much

it's it's a desperate housewives

in terms of level of involvement quality of show and how much like joy and love it brings and speaking of Desperate Housewives, I got a message from someone yesterday that there's actually like a record number of actors who have either starred or made cameos in Mad Men and Desperate Housewives.

There's like a huge amount of crossover.

It's like 11 people.

Oh wow, that's amazing.

My favorite guy I think is Roger Sterling.

And he plays the mayor in Desperate Housewives.

But he is just everything of the sort.

No, I mean I like never even thought ever in my life about John Hamm.

Like he never really never crossed my mind.

And if you don't watch Mad Men, you will never think about it.

And I've seen the pictures of him in gray sweatpants.

Like, I know what's going on, but I just never really thought of him.

And I think of him quite often.

Yeah.

No, you're going to think of him.

He's so handsome.

And he really just like...

The fact that he wasn't born in the 50s is a shock to me, you know?

He does it so well.

So I'm enjoying it so much.

If you've been looking for a true content upper, one with seven seasons, it's on Amazon Prime.

Seven good seasons, too.

Yeah, there hasn't been a moment where I'm like, I'm bored.

It's just so well done.

It's so premium.

And I'm getting

Elizabeth Olson.

Like, she's so annoying.

Yeah,

she's tough.

But she'll grow on you and they'll shift focus, you know, because it's very much an ensemble show, as you'll see.

So let me know how you're doing along the way.

Yeah, so that's kind of like where I've been.

That's so exciting.

You know where I've been when I watched last night?

The click?

Yes.

Oh, I was like, how did you know?

I posted on my Instagram.

Yeah, I'm like, duh.

I follow you.

I watched it.

I'm like,

you know what?

I found it to be like kind of stressful.

I'm not going to lie, because like Massey is so bitchy and like she's the worst kind of teen tween.

And it was just like stressing me out.

Like, oh my, I don't know.

I just, she needed a talking to.

Yeah.

And she was just like really mean and not in an endearing way.

I think that's a really interesting point.

And not to get like all introspective, but I do find it really interesting how like the content, like content has changed so much.

Like the movies we idolized growing up were always about like popular girls in school.

And they were never like popular and nice.

nice like they were always popular and mean and that was really like a genre mean girls like it it was just

the type of movie that like kids our age like died for for sure and also it was like the examples for us right and i think it it was like just reminding me of a time when like it was just like cool to be mean and it's not and it's not and so watching it now i'm like

Messy, really?

Yeah, yikes, yikes, messy.

No, I agree.

And it takes a fresh set of eyes to see that.

Yeah, but it was, you know, just exciting to be with the click gals.

What do you want, stare?

Yeah, no, like, taco burrito, nacho.

The one-liners were real zingers.

Yeah, they were real zingers.

But it was different to watch, you know?

What platform did you watch on?

It's on Netflix.

Of course it is.

Yeah, so definitely check it out.

It was enjoyable.

But it definitely made me think.

We love for things that just make you think.

Yeah, no, we love to be thinking.

I'm always thinking.

Yeah.

Always.

Speaking of thinking, do you want to get into what we got to do today?

Because we have the fast five stories of the toast.

Of course.

And we have dear toasters.

Yes.

Which has just become everyone's favorite moment.

Me too.

So, you know what?

Go for it.

Go for it.

Go for it.

To dive right into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

Shit, one second.

I'm getting a call.

Are you for real?

I'm getting a call.

Where's live?

Hello?

Dr.

Ficheman?

The RDH is back?

Oh no.

Don't worry, doctor.

I know just what to do.

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Snatched.

First story, so exciting.

Kevin Hart's wife, Aniko Parrish, gives birth to a baby girl named Kaori Mai.

There are so many babies.

I can't keep it.

You don't understand.

We could do the fast five every day and have

five stories about births and pregnancies.

Elsa Hosk.

Elsa, she is pregnant with her.

With Round Daily.

Yes, and Ashley Simpson is pregnant.

She is?

Yes, she is.

So there's just, it's honestly too, we need to maybe have like a baby segment.

Yeah, well, what I've been doing is just like picking my favorite news of the day.

But yeah, we could do a baby segment every single day now because there's such wonderful baby news, including the birth of Kaori My Heart.

Oh, she was born?

She was born.

Oh, I thought they announced a pregnancy.

No, Aniko posted nine months preparing to fall in love for a lifetime.

She's thankful, grateful, and blessed, she wrote on Instagram.

That's really sweet.

They're like a nice couple, and they went through like a really public, like hard time.

and I just love them and I feel like they're better off now and they like really worked through it and I love them.

They're better than ever and they've been through a lot this year too.

We were listening to Kevin Hart on Joe Rogan and with Kevin's accident.

It's just been a really crazy year for them.

So this is some really wonderful news.

I forgot about that.

We listened to that podcast in the car in the middle of the night so like we wouldn't fall asleep.

And it was actually a fabulous podcast.

It was really, really good.

I think that Joe Rogan's going to, I think he knows what he's doing.

He's going to go places.

Yeah, no, I think his podcast might get kind of big.

Yeah, no, for sure.

He has what it takes.

I'm happy for him, you know?

No that I am.

Nobody knows for sure, though.

No, you know, these things are uncertain.

Oh, also, it's International Podcast Day.

Oh, my gosh.

Happy International Podcast Day, everyone.

Happy International Podcast Day to you.

Yes, we do have some Canadian toasters.

Therefore, we are international.

Yes.

Wow, so exciting.

I love a day celebrating the art of podcasting.

It is an art.

It's an art, and we are the artists.

Bitch, me like one of your French girls.

Okay, next story, more drama.

Demi Lovato teases a new song amid split from Max Eric.

Quote, music is always there for me.

He just doesn't stop.

He put up the...

She is teasing new music.

Oh, but you're...

But she has to do something to counteract all of his Instagram posts.

He put one up yesterday that he deleted that said

that everyone's trying to Jeffree Epstein him.

And I was like, what?

And then he put up a bunch like, save the children human trafficking.

It's like, I agree.

The children should be saved.

Like, what what does that have to do with those?

He's on a spiral, and it's like, it's really embarrassing.

And Demi's team can't be putting out more articles fast enough saying how embarrassed she is, like, to be a part of it.

That's exactly what she should be doing.

It's my favorite word.

It's a disgrace.

Early on Wednesday morning, the 28-year-old pop songstress posted on social media and revealed that she is set to release a new song later in the day.

Music is always there for me.

Song in the AM, she wrote on Twitter.

I guess that would be today.

Oh, no, today's Wednesday.

Oh, it's tomorrow.

I was reading it and I'm like, song in the AM?

Because she had put a period between AM, so I'm like, song and the M?

I'm like, are the kids.

I'm like, is this a word I don't know?

Yeah.

I hope the song is called Demetria.

I hope the song is.

He doesn't deserve a song.

Like, you write a breakup song for your ex-fiancé when they're, you know, a man of great character.

And it's a tragedy.

And you're overwhelmed with emotion, sadness, grief.

Not when you're overwhelmed with the emotion of embarrassment.

Unless the song's going to be called Thirst Monster.

Oh, I like that.

Or Disgrace.

Yeah.

I'm not so interested.

But I always love new music from Demi.

Yeah, me too.

This has just been like such a weird series of events.

I'm actually like loving and living for it.

And I didn't see that for myself.

No.

But I was watching our show yesterday.

It's such a good show.

You guys should check it out on International Podcast Day.

And I was watching our Max Eric segment.

Yeah.

And I was laughing my ass off.

Like, I'm just really, I was, I just, this one caught me by surprise.

Like, because I really, like I said yesterday, I'm so shocked that this man got so far.

Yeah, and ruined it.

Only to ruin it.

Only to ruin it.

It just, I feel like the social climbers of the world are like so disappointed in him because he was there, God, you know, he made it to Demi Lovato and he made, you know, the first mistake

that social climbers, they teach you about in Social Climbers Anonymous.

He got too comfortable.

He got too comfortable and he embarrassed himself.

And that's like the one thing you can't do.

I feel like in Social Climbers Anonymous, all they do is embarrass themselves.

Of course.

Like that's.

I would love to be a fly on that wall.

I'm actually like a decent social climber.

I think I'm the worst.

I think I'm like descending the social ladder.

I just have to say, like, social climbing.

It's not always a bad thing.

Some people call it networking.

I mean, those people are just like embarrassed that they're social climbers.

I'm not embarrassed.

Like, they just take themselves really seriously.

Yeah, no, if I see you somewhere and like you're famous and cooler than me, like, I'm obviously going to try and be your friend.

I'm human.

Like, of course.

I don't know if that's considered social climbing, but I would never do it to the point where, like, I would get engaged to someone, you know?

Yeah, that's commitment.

You have limits.

I definitely have standards.

Yeah, for sure.

Anyways, new music, Song in the AM.

Can't wait to hear it.

Song in the AM.

It sounds like that.

Yeah.

Speaking of One Direction, new episode of The Redheads drops tomorrow, and you're saying, Jackie, what kind of transition?

What kind of segue was that?

But our Redheads book is about a major girl band, and there are a lot of comparisons to One Direction that we make in the episode.

So, if you're about the boy band, girl band life, check it out.

Drops tomorrow.

The book's really good.

But even if you didn't read the book, I think you like the episode.

Also, I just wanted to keep you updated on my journey through different segments of TikTok.

I have now landed on Little Mix TikTok.

It is such an amazing place to be.

Like, what a talented group of women.

I completely agree.

With just music to die for.

Like, and they're not so big in the U.S., which is a shame, but

I kind of like it.

Like, I like, I'm like an indie artist lover, you know, it's like I know artists that you don't know because I'm usually only listening to Taylor Swift.

It is just like such a pleasurable place to be.

Like, first of all, they're all so gorgeous, and they have a real friendship.

Like, you can tell.

It's not like a work thing where, like, they're, and they were put in a group there from X Factor, like the same as One Direction, but they're like a family, and I just love them.

They're all so gorgeous, and they can all really, really sing, and they do these like beautiful harmonies.

And I've just been on, I was just listening, they did like a they're on Kelly Clarkson show doing like a Zoom harmony, but it's still amazing.

Oh, wow, that's amazing.

I love Little Mix so much, they are everything of the sort.

On the kind of three, say your favorite Little Mix song.

Oh, I mean, there's so many, so I

okay.

I know mine, ready?

It's it's too hard.

Wow, okay, um, I'm just gonna go with like

I can't, okay.

Three, I can't, this is too stressful.

Two,

hold on, hold on.

Okay, um,

it's so stressful.

Okay, I just wanted to say mine.

Okay, fine,

Okay, fine.

Three, two, one.

Black Magic.

Oh, that's a good one.

Yeah.

Black Magic is amazing.

And also, like, so shout out to my ex, but they're literally, I have listened to them over 1 million times and I've ruined them for myself.

Yeah, why I love Little Mix, even though nobody asked, is because they're pop and they're just like really good pop music, but they all sing so well that the songs have like unbelievable harmonies.

That if you're like an annoying person like me, you're like listening to it and singing the harmonies and it's it's a pleasurable experience.

Yeah.

And that's all you can really ask from your pop stars is to give you a pleasurable experience.

Yes, that is all you can ask.

Next up, new pics show Emma Karin as Princess Diana in the Crown.

Have you seen these photos?

No, I have not.

And I'm like, who is Emma Karin?

Emma Karin is who's playing Princess Diana in the Crown, which, by the way, new season of the Crown drops November 15th.

So this is your daily reminder.

No,

now it's in.

It's in my line of vision, November 15th.

So far away.

No, but like, I can officially start getting excited for it.

Well, I've been excited for it because now I'm like a part of the crown crew.

What do we call ourselves?

Well, I guess

the Kensingtons?

The Kensingsteins.

Ooh, I love that.

Look at her.

She literally looks like Princess Diana.

But, you know, whenever they, it's almost become like a trope.

Like, there's so many Princess Diana movies, documentaries that it's like, this isn't, to me, this is...

what I will believe as like the accurate retelling of history, but there's so many different narratives about like, what happened?

What was she like?

Like, what did she wear?

But they always nail the look because she had such like a specific like hair

and like style aesthetic.

Um, and she, obviously, Netflix did a great job, but yeah, and it's more than that.

This is the one, you know, in my opinion, like, this is the

retelling

that we've been waiting for.

Yeah, also, it's been about 30 years, which is so crazy, less, but you know,

anytime the story's been told before, I just feel like we weren't far away from it, you know, far enough away to be telling the story.

So, um, whenever I think of Princess Diana, I have such a weird like memory association because I never

talk about that TikTok, no, which is so on point.

The one about the parent trap and the girl who thought that

Elizabeth from the parent trap was Princess Diana.

And by the way, like, she's not wrong.

As a kid, I 100% thought that the London mom was Princess Diana.

Because one, they look alike, two, they're from Britain, three, they were on the QE2, the Queen Elizabeth, which is like royal but

four, I think the mom's name was Elizabeth, right?

Yes.

So there's like a confusion going on.

Oh, and five, they're fucking doppelgangers.

Oh, yeah, no.

And six,

the movie came out at the exact time that Diana's popping off.

Yeah, no, it was really misleading for the youth of America to see that.

And when I saw that TikTok of the girl saying like her whole life, she thought that the mom from Parent Trap was Princess Diana, I felt, first of all, it's like this girl went into my brain and went to a file literally from 50 years ago in my brain, opened it up and was like, you remember this.

I couldn't believe it.

Obviously, I know now that it's not, it's not her.

I know it's

her name.

Natasha.

Natasha, yeah, who sadly passed away, but I just couldn't believe it.

But that's not what I was going to say.

My association with Princess Anne is very strange because I was never really like as a kid like into royals.

I don't know if like a lot of American teenagers are.

And we were, I think we were like a little young to.

We were extremely young.

We were like three.

Right.

But so the first time I ever literally like saw, not saw, but like maybe this is just a memory that stuck.

I went to a party at a gay bar and they had literally like Princess Diana imagery being projected over every wall and ceiling, spliced with porn.

And that's what I think of when I think of Princess Diana.

Wow, that's beautiful.

And that's my story.

Nice.

Well, Netflix Crown.

Netflix.

Season four drops November 15th.

We'll see you there.

I forgot about that part of my quarantine where I was watching the Crown.

I I know.

So many different phases.

Oh, Carol Baskin got kicked off of

Dancing with the Stars.

And to be honest, maybe I'll go back to watching it now.

I haven't been watching.

It's just, I, something inside me, I don't know why I had this like visceral reaction.

I can't support Carol Baskin being on Dancing with the Stars.

Okay.

You know what?

Like,

you have to draw the line.

Draw the line.

But maybe now I'll go back to the light.

Take true to yourself.

Okay, next story is something, a story that I'm finding so funny.

You Swifties are just wild.

This is the best story ever.

Taylor Swift fans troll Jake Gyllenha on Instagram with all too well lyrics now can I just give a little history lesson to those who may not be familiar with the all too well Jake Gyllenhaal of it all sure

so all too well if you don't know it by the way and you don't even like like Taylor Swift whatever that's not a personality trait listen to it it is probably the best song ever written I would say maybe in the last 10 years um it's from her album Red and it's just this really really painful breakup anthem.

It's like a six-minute song takes you on a journey about how she was with this guy.

She gives little details about who the guy is.

There has been major speculation,

pretty much like to the point of confirmation within the Swifty community, that the song is about her relationship with Jake Gyllenha.

But it's not clear, you're saying it's never made clear.

Literally, all we get is: you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed.

Okay.

And oh, and he has a sister.

That's the only thing because Taylor still left her scarf at his sister's house.

Those are literally the only lyrics we get that are identifiable characteristics of who the song could be about.

The rest of the song is just like a painful painful ballad from the heart of a young girl who's just been broken.

Okay, thank you for that backstory because that makes the story even better.

Yeah.

Jake Gyllenha posted a childhood photo of himself wearing glasses on Instagram Monday as a way to spotlight New Eyes for the Needy, an organization that provides prescription eyewear to those in financial need and that recently partnered with the Inspire Project on a special sneaker series.

Sidebar, that's like a really wonderful organization.

No, that's what makes the story even better is that like there's all this press and attention on a wonderful organization.

Quote, I've worn my glasses every day, every, every day, since I parted my hair meticulously with gel, which is why New Eyes has always been near and dear to my heart, the caption began.

But Swifties couldn't resist the opportunity to quote a line from her iconic 2012 breakup ballad, All Too Well, which is rumored to be about Gyllenhaal.

Quote, you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed.

Like, that is the only information we have about who the song could possibly be about.

Right.

I mean, she's treated a lot of people.

It's very possible that John Mayer had glasses.

It's very possible that Harry Styles had glasses.

Well, the timing wouldn't have added up for Harry Styles, but you know what I mean.

Yeah.

Before long, the actors' comments were flooded with the lyric, with one fan adding, You posted this pic and thought the Swifties would do nothing.

Mistake.

This is where, like, I think stand culture is at its finest.

At its finest.

And I think there's a lot of really dark and toxic parts of stand culture, but this is just like brilliance.

This is brilliant.

Like, so fucking funny.

I'm happy for the Swifties for this this close to confirmation that the song is about him.

And you know what?

That is really,

as a one-step removed Swifty, All 12 is an amazing song.

And I never really thought about who it might be about, but now that I think about it, it's like one of the most powerful songs.

So whoever it is about, like, that says a lot.

Which is crazy because in her Rolodex of Relationships, like, I don't even blink at Jake Gyllenhale.

It was like random.

I remember seeing them.

And I was a kid.

I'm like, why is she with this old man?

Like, I don't know.

Jake Gyllenha does literally nothing for me.

The least ever.

Yeah.

And just knowing he's related to Maggie Gyllenhal is where I draw the line.

Yeah.

Also, knowing that the song I Knew You Were Trouble is about him.

And I hate that song.

I don't like that song either.

Hate, hate, hate.

Can't help but associate it with the man who inspired it.

But I can never I can never dislike All Too Well because it's such a powerful song.

Oh, of course.

But like now my association with Jake Gyllenhal is like some of the worst singles from Red.

Right.

And I have no choice but to not stand.

I just want to thank all the stans who did this because it was really funny, just right spot in my day yesterday reading through the comments.

Highlighting a great organization.

I can't tell you how much this story is just all good.

And I love, I used to not really like the Instagram comments not going chronologically.

They've now been filtered by like top comments who has the most likes, but it does make a situation like this like so funny.

Yeah, I can't imagine now being chronological again.

It's like, oh, you know, I mean, I have 4,000 Instagram accounts and on Girl with No Job, I got chronological comments like last week.

Congrats.

Thanks.

I think I was the last person on earth to get it.

And so now you're enjoying it.

That's why you're talking about

an update that rolled out for us two years ago.

Two years ago.

No, no, I was the last person on earth to get it.

I don't know why.

Wow.

Fifth and final story.

Sure.

Cake boss Buddy Velastro had an injury and that has

affected his baking.

Okay, I just have to say, I feel like Buddy Velastro is in the news like a decent amount for like a baker.

And he's like, oh, he's being a little messy.

No, but like, this one is a big one.

Cake boss star Buddy Velastro is revealing the details of the terrible accident that mangled his hand and landed him in the hospital.

And I mean, journalism is so dramatic, he works with his hands.

Okay, quote: I was involved in a terrible accident a few days ago.

The baker and TV personality wrote on Instagram, What do you think of my new accessory?

Are you okay?

Why did you choose this story?

There's a right-hand bandage.

Okay, the way that this story was set up was like the cake boss.

You got hoodwinked.

Is that the cake boss will not be bossy anymore because of this injury that has impaired his hand all i want to say and i'm not trying to stir up any drama in the baking world but and i'm really not trying to pit baker against baker but jeff goblin is like the cake boss cake boss and

buddy is a cake boss and i just i just wanted to say that i used to literally die for ace of cakes like I was like my bamitzva my wedding like I am getting this cake it was just such an art and really just insane What about Duff?

That's what I just said.

Oh.

Did I not say his name was Duff?

I don't know.

I said Jeff Goldblum.

Yeah.

Oh,

I said Jeff.

That's the guy from the apartments.com commercial.

Yeah, he's a right.

Duff Goldbloom.

Okay, I was going to say, like, I got my Jews confused.

When you said Jeff Goldblum, like, it felt like

right, but not right enough.

Oh my god, people listening to this podcast are screaming.

And then I'm like racking my brain, like, no, there's another cake boss.

I'm sorry.

Ace of Cakes, Duff.

Did I really say Jeff?

i think so it's a two-letter difference duff goldbloom jeff gold bloom it's such a common mistake i can't believe it's not made more

imagine jeff goldbloom like in the bake in the kitchen well whatever all i was saying was ace of cakes is an amazing show and i'm not trying to pit baker against baker but that's what you're doing and i love pitting people against one another here i hope that buddy's hand recovers and that he can go back to being the boss of cakes oh yes i forgot no i hope his hand recovers so he can go back to being the second best baker on tv yeah well you know there's a lot of baking shows out there People love them.

And so you need more than just the one.

Yeah, but let's not forget who started it all.

Duff, for sure.

I'm a duff girly.

We need to make merch.

I'm a duff girly.

Jeff Goldblum.

Mortal cakes.

There are also, by the way, there are duff girlies and there are Jeff girlies.

People think, like, there are people out there who think that Jeff Goldblum is the hottest man who ever walked the earth.

You know what?

I'm happy that, like, there's something for everyone.

Yeah.

And I'm like, do you guys know about John Mayer?

Like, it's like.

John Hamm?

John Hamm.

Oh my god, I love my life.

Okay, so watches Mad Men once.

Oh my god, John Hamm.

Love Mayer.

Maybe that's the kind of girl that I would make fun of.

Yeah.

Okay, it's fine.

We've come full circle.

Was that all?

Anything else?

Any other cake news you wanted to share?

Actually, speaking of cake news, news season of the Great British Baking Show is on Netflix.

Oh, exciting.

Very exciting.

It's such a nice show.

If you're ever like feeling stressed, need a content upper, but like don't want to be too engaged and like also kind of want to be on your phone, Great British speaking show.

I love a show that's designed for me to be on my phone while watching Yeah, I've gotten to the point in friends now where it's like it's literally background music.

Oh for sure, but Theo likes it, so yeah, you do it for Theo.

Um, okay, now it's time for dear toasters, which is our advice segment.

If you ever want to write in, we will always keep it anonymous.

We'll never use real names.

You can always just email us dear toasters at gmails.com.

If you've got a quandary, you know, between work stuff, bridesmaid stuff, relationship stuff, doesn't matter.

First up.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

Hi.

Longtime listener and fan.

Before I start, I just want to say how thankful I am for your show during the queue.

You're welcome.

My boss is a cereal snack and lunch stealer.

Oh my god, I thought you were going to say he's a killer.

He's a cereal snack.

I'm like, ooh.

Oh.

It's a small company.

There's only four of us.

He's a stealer.

He steals snacks and lunches.

And honestly, I feel like you wrote this in about me.

When I first started the job, I'd bring a box of granola bars to work.

Within a day or two, the box was empty.

Now, I would never eat someone else's snacks without asking, but apparently someone in my office would.

I figured out it was my boss because when he was done with my box of granola bars, he announced to the office, oops, I think I just ate all of someone's snack.

Essentially, I am boss from friends and it's been five years of this shit.

I've started hiding my snacks in a box of gluten-free crackers or hiding them in my desk drawer.

It's not easy to hide snacks in our office, especially when eating them.

This doesn't just happen to me.

Today, my boss ate one of my coworkers' leftovers that she was planning on having for lunch today.

That's insane.

Yeah, there's a difference between like a box of granola bars, which you could think are like an office snack,

versus like someone's leftovers in the Tupperware.

This is not the first time this has happened.

Okay, a box of granola bars, but someone's leftovers question mark.

Especially when he had his own leftovers in the fridge.

Also, this time during a pandemic, where numbers are rising, where I'm from, that's true.

Anywhere, what can sick.

Anyways, what can I do?

Maybe the solution is continuing to hide my stuff, but every time I leave food here, I am paranoid that it will be eaten.

That's, you know, he's making it a really unsafe in work environment, and I'm really sorry that this is happening to you.

My advice would obviously be non-perishables, keep in your desk, like snacks, crackers, chips, like in the drawer, maybe even get a key.

And then with things that you must put in the refrigerator, post it that shit up.

Do not touch, do not touch.

And you know what?

Just tell everyone you have coronavirus and they won't start sharing food with you.

Yeah, they also will make you go home from work.

Oh, that works.

But I would say definitely get a lockbox or somewhere to keep your snacks safe in your desk.

That seems like you should be doing that anyway.

Because if you do put a box of like non-perishables, chips, crackers in the kitchen.

in the kitchen like i i'm not gonna lie like i might think they're for everyone you know when we worked in an office like if there was stuff like in the kitchen like on the kitchen on the counter it's for you especially if they're individually packaged snacks right no if it's like a bag of chips maybe i wouldn't like stuff my hand in there but granola bars definitely for sure so i would say protect the non-perishables for sure and when it comes to the tupperware situation i would start with a post-it give him the benefit of the doubt you know maybe he just

doesn't know you you know, maybe he doesn't know how things go.

So say, do not eat.

And if he continues to eat, I would say,

maybe it's a small company.

So is there someone who works in HR?

Yeah, this sounds like something for HR.

Like, our boss is eating all our snacks.

And also, like, in the age of coronavirus, like, we can't really be sharing snacks.

Or you go to HR and say, listen, boss is eating all the snacks.

I get it.

He's hungry.

So am I.

Let's have

a snack fund.

Office snacks.

Like, offices should have snacks

2020.

And I actually think that offices that don't provide snacks is like really,

it's like a huge violation.

Backwards.

It's regressive.

It's regressive.

It's sucking sick.

So bring that to HR, you know, petition for snacks.

And you know you're going to have your boss on board because he's the Snack Master General.

Right, of course.

He will support any like agenda you push in regards to snacks because that way.

It's a snack initiative.

That he doesn't have to like go out and purchase himself.

Totally.

So then you and like your coworker whose food has been being snatched, like you guys can go out to Costco on Snack Patrol and like make a day of it.

So and then you get like to go on an off-site.

Yeah, yeah, so fun.

Okay, next up.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

Longtime listener, first time advice asker here.

This is really an awkward situation, so I'm just going to get right to it.

I have this friend, Gertrude, who's been going through some money struggles.

She decided that she wants to start an OnlyFans for some extra cash.

She was pretty nervous about starting it, so she asked me for my opinion.

I don't have any experience in this area either, but I wanted to support her, so I tried to help her out.

She was asking me things like how much should she charge?

What should she call her account?

Which profile picture should she use, etc.

She finally created her account a few weeks ago and immediately asked me if I would subscribe so I could keep helping her out and asked for feedback on her post.

I told Gertrude that I would be happy to continue giving advice and stuff, but I didn't really want to make an OnlyFans account just to see her nudes.

I thought that would be the end of it, but for the past few weeks, she's brought it up several times and it's starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

We recently had a bit of a fight about it and she basically said that she thinks I'm slut-shaming her and overall just really pressured me into subscribing.

I'm getting a vibe that this is way more than her wanting help starting up the side hustle and I don't know what to do.

To be perfectly honest, i'm starting to get really skeeved out this is totally not a situation i ever expected to be in so um how can i tell my friend that i don't want to pay eight dollars and ninety nine cents a month to watch and critique her porn love not an only fans fan wow okay this is weird because to be honest i respect anyone who goes on only fans like for sure it's a

We've spoken about like why it's a better alternative to traditional porn But like the pressuring of the friends to subscribe and watch is kind of strange Yeah, and I understand if she wants help like building her business and wants your feedback, but then tell her, like, give me your login and I'll go on.

Like, so if she really is wanting the critique, you shouldn't have to

pay her, like, and be helping her.

That seems extreme.

So just tell her, happy to critique.

What's the login?

I'll go check on how everything's doing.

And if she doubles down on you subscribing, just be like, I can't swing it right now.

Yeah, I can't swing it right now.

Like,

be like, I don't, I don't have an OnlyFans account.

Like, I don't want to make one.

i think that that is where you can draw the line but yeah as far as helping her as long as you're comfortable doing it just make sure just say give me your login like that's when our when our sisters want to watch our patreon stuff we give them our login yeah completely agree um it's very strange and i just think like the 8.99 you're giving her an only fans a month would probably be better served 7.99 for our patreon channel it's a dollar less yeah and it's premium content that's twelve dollars a year five extra episodes a month and it's wonderful it's an unbeatable value some have said some have said because you'll always have like episodes there.

Even if when we drop them, you're not interested.

They'll always be there like on a rainy day.

You know, if you're just wanting some extra scenes in the background, like on a weekend, it's nice.

It's nice.

That's just what people have said.

Yeah.

Okay, final dear toasters.

Let's go.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

I've been living with my boyfriend at his dad and stepmom's house for about three months now because of COVID.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and we eventually plan on getting married.

My boyfriend and his dad have both gone back to the office and his stepmom, let's call her Meredith, and I are working from home.

This afternoon, Meredith came into my quote office and said she had a gift for me.

This is very out of character of her, so I was a little confused right off the bat.

She then proceeds to hand me a book called The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

She tells me that men are simple and they need three things, to be admired, sex, and food.

The entire time she was talking to me, I didn't know what to say, and it honestly felt like the sex talk.

She continued to say how she thinks the book is really important to read and that I might get a lot out of it.

She had asked me on multiple occasions when my boyfriend and I are getting married and has told me that she wants to be very involved in the wedding planning.

So I was under the impression she liked me.

Should I be really offended that she thinks I'm not doing a good job in my relationship?

Or do you think she was trying to be nice?

Love you guys so much.

Thanks.

I mean,

my concern is whether, not whether she likes you or not, is why is this person's stepmom like so involved in the adult son of you know what I mean?

It's like entire business.

Get out.

Yeah, I'm inclined to be like, get the fuck out of my face.

But I don't know, what if like your boyfriend like has been talking to his parents, like complaining like, oh, she doesn't eat enough food.

And so your stepmom's just like giving you the answer, but that's not how relationships really should be communicated.

Right.

And if your boyfriend is using his stepmom and his dad to talk to you, you might have a bigger problem.

Bring it up to your boyfriend, see if it rings any bells.

But if she really is just really excited about this wedding and giving you this book because she thinks it's going to like get you to the aisle faster, just take the book, say thanks, read it if you're interested, and just move it along.

People have weird ways of doing that.

And also, when dealing with someone someone who's of a different generation, it's sometimes just easier to like say, okay, and then like

ignore it.

Because people who grew up in different generations, like sometimes you just are never going to see eye to eye and you're never going to understand each other.

And like that's okay.

And it's not worth the energy of like fighting with this person.

Yeah.

That's how I feel.

I feel that way too.

So try and figure out if you think that this is something that your boyfriend raised to his dad and stepmom.

Yeah.

And then sort of figure out how you guys can better communicate with one another.

But if it's just her like sticking her head where it doesn't belong, pretend like you're thankful and move on.

Yeah, I mean, that book is giving me major, like, Betty Draper vibes, who I just, like, only want good things for.

And it's like, could Don just be nice to her for one fucking second?

No, it's insane.

Don't tell me if he ends up being nice to her and like falling back in love with her because every time he comes home, I'm like, this is it.

He's going to fall in love and realize that the woman he married is the most beautiful woman on the planet and just loves him so much and is just like so pathetic.

And is so, she's so on point.

Oh, I mean, her love.

She's her equestrian glamour.

She just started horseback riding.

Like, it's perfection.

It's perfection.

Like, even when she goes to sleep sleep at night like yeah it's like when i when i watch the show i'm like i go to the when i see what happens in the office i'm like my god i'm so glad i'm not like a woman who was born in that time period like it's so demeaning and it's awful and then i see betty draper and i'm like maybe it's not so bad i could do that i could do that i honestly it's like part of me is like I think I was meant to be Betty Draper.

For sure.

My only qualm with, I mean, there's like a lot of things wrong, but the part that like I don't think I could do was like she would stay in her dress like until really late at night.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And for me, like the minute I get home, I need to take off my makeup and get into pajamas.

No, no.

Even if it's three o'clock.

The kids are asleep and she's still in her dress.

Yeah.

And with a base and the hair.

I mean, the hair.

So that part would be really tough for me because I've just gotten accustomed to, like, when I am home, I'm in my pajamas only.

Of course.

Like, I won't, because I also, because I won't, like, sit on my bed in my day clothes.

No, that's gross.

I'm glad you agree.

Yeah, I used to not think that way, but now since coronavirus, I'm like, your bed is still your sanctuary.

I used to get home from school and just like get in my bed bed with like my clothes from school.

That you sat on the bus in.

Yeah.

And now you got bus in your bed.

No, like I used to take the subway sometimes, like and I would just get subway in my bed.

If you sat on, if you sat on a bench.

Sick.

That is so sick and so crazy.

So I would never do that now.

And Ben does it and I'm getting him on board.

Yeah.

Have him watch this episode.

Yeah.

Or you know what?

Let me call him.

Talk some sense into him.

That's Deer Toasters.

Again, if you ever want to write in, the email is deartoas at gmail.com.

We really appreciate everyone writing in and being open and honest with us because we're all about openness and honesty here.

We are.

And with that, we bid you a feature saying adieu.

Thank you guys so much for listening.

Adieu.

Wow, she's coming for me today.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast and the Millennial Morning Show where we go live Monday through, oh, fuck no.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know Monday.

Oh, wait, before I say, the little bit that I did with my phone with the RDH, I have to to say, I can't take credit for that.

A toaster DM'd me and gave me the idea.

And I'm sorry I'm blanking on your name, but I will remember it and send you a DM.

Thank you, Queen.

It was a great idea.

Claudia sent me the message.

I sent her.

And I was literally on the floor.

I'm like, that's the best idea ever.

So sorry.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

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The Morning Toast and Lead the Five-Star View about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

We hope you have a wonderful, amazing, sensational day.

And we will see you tomorrow for our final show of the week because we are not here on Friday.

Yes, goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Bye.