S3 Ep148: Theo in The Fridge: Wednesday, September 16th, 2020

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy hump day.

What a great day.

You know, you know the rules, you guys.

Hump someone you love.

How are you feeling today?

I'm feeling so incredible because it's hump day, which sometimes I'm like jazzed about.

Other times just sort of floats by on the calendar.

I don't notice it, but I have the cutest, most precious Chemin on my lap, smelling good with his little short hair.

Yeah,

show off that cut.

Hey, Theo.

Hey, Sexman.

Yes, Theo's Theo's in the studio today.

Fresh chop.

Missed him so much yesterday.

Like, I really have separation and anxiety from him because, like, the bond that we fostered.

While we were away was just like

probably the most special part of my trip.

I agree.

And I too have separation anxiety from Theo.

I feel like a lot of dogs actually in our country right now are going through this thing where it's like we all train our dogs to be independent and, you know,

self-sufficient.

And, you know, we have busy lives.

We go to work.

We go out with friends.

The dog should be able to, you know,

entertain itself while we leave them at home for a couple hours a day.

And now we've been at home for like six months straight.

I literally have not left Theo's side for a minute.

And all the work that went into making him like the independent, self-sufficient man that he was is.

down the toilet.

Out of the window.

He's so codependent.

When we were away, like every time we would leave the house, he would wail, like literally wailing, wanting to come.

So we just like would take him to the gas station.

Like we were ever going anywhere exciting, exciting like Theo we remember that one time we left we did something so foolish we were going on a hike but we thought we would be biking and so we we didn't take him so we left him and he was wailing and then we went on the hike but it turns out we didn't even use the bikes so he could have come and like I think he's still upset about it.

Yeah I mean this is just like a burden that us dog owners I feel are now carrying.

And dog antis in this climate is what do we do about our dogs?

Like how I don't know.

I don't know if we're ever going to transition back to real life.

Like are we ever going to go to concerts again?

But if we are, like our dogs are going to be alone.

They're going to have to come.

I think so too.

I think so.

Look at them little headphones.

It has been really hard on the dog NTs, I think.

Yeah, I mean we're very aware of like how coronavirus is impacting the human race, but I don't think we're really talking about how coronavirus and just like this national crisis, both economic and emotional crisis, is affecting our dogs and our pets, even our cats.

Even the cats.

Even though I just don't like cats like at all.

I know.

I feel like

there's so many different types of people in the world.

There are dog people and I feel as though those are my people.

There are people who don't like dogs.

Like that I can't even begin to understand.

I think that's a really minority group.

I think there's two different types of people in the world.

People who can stand cats and people who can't.

Like, and there's no in-between.

You either like...

are a cat person or you hate cats.

Okay, not only and I know like this is going to be controversial like my Pitbull comment a few weeks ago, but like that's months ago, by the way.

Months ago, whatever, but I'm going to say it.

I hate cats.

And not only do I hate cats, like I judge people with cats.

I do.

Wow.

There's obviously something wrong with you.

She said what she said.

I said what I said.

And you know what?

I'm not editing it out because that's how I feel.

And I never feel more

unsafe in a place that there is a cat.

Like, me and Ben, like, wow, like literally six years ago, we filmed this like Snapchat um show with

who was it with shape shape oh it wasn't snapchat it was like a digital web series with shape magazine where like these two fatties like tried out like cool trendy workouts and one of the workouts was cat yoga which is essentially it's a cat cafe um all the cats it's like a great premise you know all the cats are available for rescue and you go in you can do yoga and the cats just like roam about jump on you you know breeze by you and they're just like in your atmosphere and when i walked in i literally started hysterically crying i begged them not to make me do it i did my hair and makeup on the street like i literally would not go in there and oh oh my god i have chills just thinking about it it was so scary i did the whole yoga session like panting screaming crying it was the worst moment of my life and i hated the cats before then but like being in that sort of environment with them that could be traumatizing i could see how that could be traumatizing that sounds like really unnecessary you know for the cats to be involved in the yoga.

I couldn't agree more.

That is beyond strange.

Like remember how in Beverly Hills House I said goat yoga.

I would have preferred goat yoga.

Yeah, for some reason, sounds preferable.

More peaceful.

Yeah, and like, I feel like it's kind of like horse therapy, like, where you can transfer your energy onto an animal.

I just don't feel like cats are willing to take up that burden for us.

Whereas I do feel like horses and goats

are able to.

Cats are also like descendants of lions, and like that is something that like lives inside me.

Like that information.

I'm not going to say cats.

I'm like, cats.

Rare.

Every time we say cats, every time we say cats, I'm like, Jason Derulo, rare.

Rare.

No, it's like, but how do you love and adore Taylor Swift given

such a good?

It's like the one thing that like, I just can't get on board with for her.

Like, I would love to engage.

That is the whole board for her.

Like, there's no.

No, there's so much more to Taylor Swift.

There's no like doubt.

Like, I would say, like, if she had to, like, write down her top three passions in life.

It would be music, family, cats.

Perhaps, yeah.

And I know that.

And that's something like I personally have to live with and just come to peace with within myself.

And I'm glad you pointed that out because it's like a huge point of contention.

Like every time it's like the cat is like involved in something, I'm just like, oh, the fucking cat.

Like, I just, I literally despise cats.

Like, and you know what?

I think, you know, I think I despise cats.

Well, amongst so many other reasons, but it's like when I was in the eighth grade,

we went to Israel and Israel like years ago used to have like a rat problem.

and what the country did was they released all these cats into the wild to eat the rats and it worked but now they have a cat problem so you're like sitting at a cafe and like there's literally a cat like licking your foot and it's so normal there it's fucking disgusting like literally just like roam this town it's kind of like the pigeons in new york yeah they are tenants landlords like they own land here and like they're just a part of the everyday culture like you're an ice cream shop there's a cat on the man's head like it's fucking

on the man's head, like, there's just a cat.

They're just everywhere.

And it was such a culture shock for me that, like, I don't think I really ever got over it.

It was so disgusting and, like, so vile.

And really, they just, they just prance around you and just come out of nowhere.

Sick, sick.

I'm sorry.

If you have cats, this is going to be a hard episode, but we'll move on.

We'll move on.

But I have one more question for you.

Yeah.

What is like a bigger thing that you have to reckon that you can't reconcile for yourself?

Like, Taylor Swift's love of cats or taylor versus kim

you want to know what it is taylor versus cats teller i i can't reconcile that more because honestly wait which one you just i said both taylor and her cats that's harder for me to swallow let me tell you why

i didn't think you were gonna say that because taylor and kim as much as like it kills me that they don't get along like they really shouldn't like they're polar opposites like okay honestly if they if there was a world where they were best friends like it would make no fucking sense like they're opposites So, even though that's difficult for me as a stan,

I can kind of understand it.

I can't understand Taylor Schwift liking cats.

I can't understand human beings liking cats.

Like, they're fucking gross.

That's so gross.

So, that's what I mean when I say, like, I really think there's two types of people in this world.

And like, no one just feels like in the middle of it, like, oh, I'll go over and pet that cat.

Sick.

They're either like not going to pet the cat or they own cats.

That's also like people who like go to the park and bring home squirrels, you know?

Like, that's sick.

I don't know those people.

People do that.

Well, maybe like outside of New York.

And don't get me me wrong, like I'm an animal person.

It's just I don't take wildlife home.

That's sick.

And that's what cats are.

And that's, in my opinion, like that's what cats are.

You're taking wildlife home.

Rare.

They're so unpredictable.

Okay.

Okay.

I don't want to upset anyone.

Like if you have a cat, like an important cat in your life, like I'm happy for the love that you have.

No, no, no.

By the way, if you still, if you have a cat in your life, like I still value you as like a human and I recognize your existence.

I just like stay away from me, okay?

Take the cat away.

No, you too.

You scare me.

You obviously like are so reckless and like don't value life.

Like you're sick.

There's so much to be said for cats.

Like in defense of cats,

they are so self-sufficient and they really like it.

They do vacation for like owning a cat and a dog and like what it means when you leave your house.

And like the cats are quite intelligent.

Yeah.

And they just like

are on their own.

Like they're independent, strong women.

And we have absolutely no choice but to stand and support them.

You know what?

That's true.

Like having a cat is so easy.

Like you go on vacation for like six months and the cat comes back and like he went to business school, you know?

Like it's wild.

So I hear you.

I see the value.

I do.

I just, but then you also have to like live with the cat.

And it's like, who cares if he went to business school?

Like he's gross.

You know?

Honestly, I feel like this episode is going to be really triggering for like cat people.

Like, please don't come for me.

Like, we're just joking around.

Like, this is a funny show, comedy podcast.

Like, please.

It's so hard these days that, like, by the way, I literally have a pit right now about like making fun of cats.

Like, that's how sick our culture is.

Like, we're so fucking sensitive.

Okay, I don't like cats, but like, it's a joke.

If you have a cat, like, you're a fine person, I'll still hang out with you.

Like, it's a joke.

Hello.

I just feel like I have to say that.

Like, when I made that pit bull joke, first of all, I didn't, I think it's worth mentioning.

Like, our community went wild with the pit bull joke.

I'm pretty sure I didn't even actually say the word pit bull.

I just inferred it, which is, there's a difference.

And second of all, I was completely joking.

I never said pit bulls are bad dogs.

All I said was, like, I wonder if the dog

can't go back there.

But like, it was a fucking joke.

So is this.

Please don't come for us.

Like, we've had a rough year.

You said it knowing that it's like really upsetting for people to be like, I was being that.

Yeah.

I was being a shit starter.

Not because you thought that, but because you wanted to say it.

But like, honestly, like, if jokes about cats and pit bulls like bother you, like, I actually hope like this particular episode like turns you away from the toast because I really don't want those type of people like listening to the show.

You know, like we're gonna, like, we've become so censored.

Like, our jokes are like not even funny anymore.

Like, because we can't even joke about cats and pit bulls.

Yeah, I agree.

So if this is your last show, Theo says goodbye.

Theo says goodbye.

Goodbye.

Oh, no, we're still working, Theo.

Okay, so I think without further ado and offense, we should just get into the fast eye stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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So we are going to do our fast five, then we're going to do a little TV recap because I want to talk about, I started Real Housewives in New York from the beginning.

I saw, I watch This is Paris.

Great.

And then we'll jump into Deer Toasters, which is our advice segment.

So it's going to be a great day.

It's going to be a great day.

Let's get right into it.

The big story of the day, really the only one.

The big one, really, the big one.

What is it?

Cardi B files for divorce from Offset after three years of marriage following rumors of his infidelity.

Cardi B and Offset are officially calling it quits.

The WAP rapper filed for divorce at an Atlanta courthouse on Tuesday, saying the marriage is irretrievably broken and there are no prospects for a reconciliation.

Reportedly, after finding out the Migos rapper had been unfaithful, yet again, People confirms.

What is wrong with people?

The pair who share a two-year-old daughter, Culturechiari, are due in court on November 4th.

First of all, I love that she's the WAP rapper.

That's like hard to say.

Two, this this actually makes me sad.

I really like stand their love.

Like, I thought it was cool how like Cardi B like was like this

just out there personality.

Like, everything she did was so crazy and out there.

But she was also like low-key, like, married, and, like, had a family, and it was, like, cute.

And then, like, a nice, like, dichotomy.

Yeah.

Um, and this is sad.

I don't know why, like, men just, like, can't keep it in their pants, but.

Yeah, and she forgave him before for this.

Um, and so it is really sad, but you know, everyone has their breaking point, and like no one should have to put up with this

time and time again.

But you know what?

They say, like, men cheat when they're not getting it at home.

But, like, I just don't believe that.

Like, Cardi B, she literally sang about her WAP.

Like, I think, I don't think that's true.

I think men cheat, cheaters cheat.

Yeah, and I think when you're at a certain level of fame, like, you just cheat, like, literally, because you can't.

Like, it's literally right in front of you.

This is sad.

You know, justice for Cardi B, Justice for Culture, um, and their little family.

And I always really like them together.

Me too.

And like, they're two people who are at the height of their game and like they're just so omnipresent in our culture.

Culture.

And this is sad to see, but we need what's best for Cardi so who do we set her up with now I just feel like she's honestly like too powerful no then that's like just a terrible like thing like no I know a terrible notion that like you can't be powerful and successful and everything of the sort and get love too like that there's no one that could match up like why can't the men step up you totally just call me out on my like no but I think what you're saying is like is unfortunately true.

Well, like I think of Nikki Minaj, who like they really are so similar.

And like Nicki Minaj, like didn't really date throughout her career.

career and then she ended up with someone who's like not great.

You know, everyone knows what we know about Nicki Minaj's husband.

So like it's like that's those are our options for powerful women.

Well, it reminds me of this is Paris because this is a conversation that she had with her sister where she was like

she's always like dating these guys who become their bit her bitch boy and like follow her around and then like they become emasculated and she's like so turned off by them and and her sister was like you need to date an equal and it's like

who right how sorry there are just so many powerful women out there who what when when, where, how, why?

Yeah, that was an interesting conversation, just like her dating life in general.

Yeah, we have a lot to talk about regarding Mrs.

Paris.

But let's think of people who we could set Cardi B up with because she deserves happiness.

Yeah.

And also, I do think, like, I mean, obviously it didn't work out, but Offset is

an equal, you know?

Yes, of course.

So you know who's another cute Migos?

So it's also like an equal can't even stack up.

Migos is like full of cute couples because Quavo is with Sweetie.

Oh, cute.

And they're like such a good looking cute couple and i just like i don't know i feel like the migos guys like really match really well with other like people in the industry like it would have been a cute like it would probably fun double dates totally i love sweetie you know i was on a podcast once with sweetie like way before she was like famous no when um like years ago what podcast Gary Vaynerchuk.

Oh.

It was like interesting people from different.

That's cool.

Yeah.

And she was like so pretty.

And she was really shy.

And I was like, oh, I'm just going to remember her name, like in case she blows up.

And now here we are.

Here we are.

Um, so who would you set her up with?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I need to think more time.

I need to like go through my Rolodex.

But an equal, it's just like hard because

whatever equal, she's in the music industry.

So like whatever equals like just probably going to cheat on her again.

Right.

Which is a terrible reality.

Yeah.

Which is why like she she needs an accountant.

Everyone needs an accountant.

Do you know that?

Nobody, do you know the TikTok song?

Nobody asks what you do when you're an accountant.

Yes, I have actually seen that one.

That's, yeah.

All these celebrities, Chloe Kardashian needs an accountant.

Yeah.

Everyone just needs like a nice CPA who works at Ernst ⁇ Young.

Very high up.

I mean, yeah, that's prestigious.

They need Ernst or something.

Or they own their own accounting firm,

like a little small town accountant firm.

You're making it into a Hallmark movie.

I mean, that sounds like the greatest movie of all time.

Yeah, they have like a little storefront in town.

And maybe she's like rolling.

Okay, I got it.

Cardi B is coming through this.

She's on her way to like a big concert.

She's on her tour bus.

The tour bus breaks out in a really small town.

It's April 10th.

Tax season is coming up.

So not only does she have to get her bus repaired, she has to do her taxes.

She goes over.

She can't get in contact with her big-time LA accountant because there's no service.

Right.

And so she walks over to the local CPA firm.

The local H ⁇ R block.

They fall in love.

Wait, and the movie's called

Tax Day.

Oh, yeah, like draft day.

Yeah, that's good.

That's really good.

I think there's something there.

Can someone who go to the show who's like a graphic designer make like a fake

movie poster tax day with like a generic looking CPA and Car DB in like this beautiful little small town?

Yeah, I think that that I think it could be a hit.

No, but I also think like that's a beautiful love story.

And it would be like the type of movie that would like inspire everyone to like go out and get their own accountant, you know?

Yeah, no, and like pay their taxes.

And do their taxes.

I feel like the IRS would honestly fund it because it could be like just a good PSA for them to remind you to do your taxes.

And like that is actually the sort of movie that we need considering no one ever tells you how or that you need to do your taxes.

And like the motivation is like, file your taxes.

You could end up falling in love.

Yes.

You never know what happens on tax day.

Anything could happen.

Anything can happen on tax day.

I love it.

Beautiful.

Okay.

Next up, I think these are two people who we have never spoken about on this show.

Okay.

But here we go.

Okay.

Kate Goslin says John Goslin is, quote, a violent and abusive person after her incident with son Colin.

Kate Goslin has had enough.

The mother of eight is speaking out against her ex-husband John Goslin nearly two weeks after their son Colin accused him of physical abuse which he has denied.

Quote I am done hiding and will say this unequivocally.

John is a violent and abusive person Kate tells people exclusively.

Last week people confirmed that Pennsylvania's Berks County Child and Youth Services had notified Kate in an investigation into an alleged violent incident involving the 16-year-old that took place earlier this month.

According to the CYS CYS letter, which People has viewed, the allegation is of, quote, causing bodily injury to a child through recent act slash failure to act, hitting slash punching.

I would just like to officially,

now that this is the first time we're ever speaking about John and Kate plus eight on our show, like and welcome them to the show in an official capacity.

I really just, I'm going to dismiss John.

I really hope we like never got.

to like this desperate place where like we had to talk about them.

I like, I never watched their show.

and it's so funny because when people talk about like fame and celebrity, they're like, it's so hard to get famous and it's even more hard to stay relevant.

And I feel like John and Kate have managed to do so seamlessly.

Like I have been, I remember like when we used to live in Long Island, like I literally had remember hearing their names back then.

And it's like, now this is 15 years later.

Like I still know who they are.

It's just crazy how like they literally fell into this like terrible, not a good version of fame, but fame nonetheless.

And like here they are.

I mean, yeah, here they are.

I do think that they really are like the perfect example of like, you know, stop making stupid people famous.

Yes.

And bad people, too.

And this is like a really unfortunate story, especially because they're famous for being like parents.

Right.

And not good ones.

And for having like so many kids.

And this is...

how they treat them.

Like, it's just, it's, this is like a pit-inducing story.

Yeah, terrible story.

And I guess we'll keep you updated on it, but but justice for the kids.

Justice for the kids.

Next story, someone we haven't spoken about in a long time, because I feel like she's been kind of under the radar, but Don't Be Tardy is premiering on October 6th.

Okay.

And so Kim Zulsiak is sharing her sweet birthday gift that she got for Troy.

I, okay, I know that it's like not a super, super popular opinion, but like I absolutely love the Bierman family so much.

Like I just would love to like be with them for the day, like see what goes on in their house.

I have so many questions about them and their businesses and their finances, but like at the end of the day, I just love them.

And I feel like every year, it's like a question: is Don't Be Tardy coming back?

It's always like, Yeah, I mean, it's a question that you're always asking because it's like we never get a premiere date.

Usually, shows premiere at the same time, similar time every year.

We literally are like all over the place.

Sometimes,

are you choking again?

A little bit.

Like, I just took a really big gulp.

Are you okay?

I'm okay.

Yeah, yeah, don't worry.

Like, sometimes there's literally two years between Don't Be Tardy seasons, and it's like just normal, I guess.

I just feel like the last time I watched Don't Be Tardy, maybe I missed a season but like Ariana was still like a tween no and now I look at her Instagram and like she's grown no she's a full-blown like Instagram girl yeah and I feel like she's been like a kid being an Instagram girl for so long which is always like cute and like being an Instagram girl though like with braces yes yes yes exactly very sweet um but now she's like grown yeah and I'm really interested to watch the show because I feel like I haven't seen it in so long.

Also, I follow them like most of them on Instagram.

Ariana's going to college, which is crazy because Brielle didn't, but Ariana's like always been really, really smart in school.

Right.

So she's going to college, which is crazy.

That's so exciting.

Well,

Kim is sharing the details about the thoughtful birthday present she gave her man over the weekend while celebrating his 35th birthday.

I feel like it's like literally like a rim job, you know?

No, no, no, no, no.

This gift I really loved.

It's a book.

The company's called Best of Legacy.

And what they do is they take Croy's entire football career.

And there's like articles, pictures, videos of his biggest plays, and this huge book of his entire football career, which is so so awesome from start to finish.

Is this an ad?

I don't know.

The article feels like an ad.

I know, I feel weird.

Like, best of legacy.

I feel like doing an ad for best of legacy.

I know, I know.

And it's like,

that's a sweet book, I guess.

Yeah, honestly, like, I'm sure she also got him like a million other things, like actually worth money.

Yeah, wait, I feel duped.

Because like, I clicked on this.

I was like, oh, what did Came get Croy for a birthday?

Like, I assumed it would be something sick, and I read the story, and it was best of legacy, but I just thought, like, when I said it, it would sound better.

Yeah, no, it's totally an ad, but whatever.

We get to talk about the Beermans, which I'm always happy to do.

Yeah.

I love them.

Like honestly, every day that I wake up and their house like isn't in foreclosure, like I'm just overjoyed.

Yeah, no, I know.

It's, I just like, I'm looking for like where it says on the website, like this story is.

Advertorial.

Right, right.

It's not advertorial.

It's not.

No, but I don't know.

Maybe like E was feeling as desperate at this house today.

Totally.

That's such a fake story.

Truly.

But no, the reason why I chose it is because Jumpy Tardy is coming back on October 6th, and I thought that was information that you might want to know.

No, of course I know.

Like Like, I watch Bravo every day, and I'm so thrilled about it.

Like, I feel like I'm a part of a really elite group of Bravo fans who, like, die for the Beermans, and I just love them so much.

And their show, I think probably I just connect to it so much is because they're like an abnormally close family, and like we're the same.

And, like, borderline, like, inappropriate, like, you know, like...

Brielle is closer in age to her dad, like, than her mom is, you know?

Yes.

No,

they have that, like, family X factor that I think is why they are successful and have stayed successful.

And it's like the same thing that like the the Kardashians had, not saying that they're the Kardashians, that same thing where it's like, it's just pleasurable to watch a family who loves each other.

100%.

And it's like fighting and it's all fun and interesting.

But at the end of the day, like, when the premise of the show is built around just like love and respect for your family, like, I'm automatically always going to be drawn to that.

Yes.

Which I love.

Yeah.

And I feel like there are so many, like, like, or there were so many like family reality shows who tried to like duplicate that format.

But where they

get stuck is like there's no like big love there.

In the family, yeah.

You know?

Um who is your favorite like Bierman character?

Oh, I mean, well, I would say Brielle.

She's the only one that I follow on Instagram and like I just

I think she's just interesting.

Yeah, I like but I think I love I think my favorite to watch on like the show would be Kim because I just think she's fucking hysterical.

Me too.

I think my favorite I like I love Brielle.

I love Kim and like I also love Croy.

Yeah.

I like it like blush talking about them.

I literally love them so much.

I'm like such a big fan.

You know, Brielle Bierman came to my show in Atlanta and I like invited her on the wham on a whim because we we had like DM'd a few times and she like totally came and was like so fun.

And she came backstage and she FaceTimed her mom because I had, I had made like a million Kim Zolsiak jokes because I was in Atlanta and it's like, what else do you do in Atlanta besides talking about Kim Zolsiak?

I think I even like at one point like played Don't Be Tardy because I was like really trying to get into it.

And I didn't know Brielle was coming.

Like I really invited her and didn't think she was going to come.

And

she came backstage and she FaceTimed her mom and I got to FaceTime with Kim and it was like literally the best day of my life.

Wow.

That's and they're really like such nice people.

And like, so I guess some people could find it weird how like Brielle like graduated high school and like stayed in her house and like never left.

I think she had an apartment for a few months, but ended up like moving back home.

But like I just like love how like they have such a good relationship.

Yeah.

Especially like I think what it when it first started out, like even before Housewives, but when Kim was on housewives, it was this kind of like tumultuous thing where like Kim was a single mom and it was like so hard for them and they lived in the townhouse and then like Croy came and like made them like full family.

Literally, it's a fairy tale.

Yes.

Yeah.

That's also why I think I'm really drawn to it.

I can't believe that we went from like season one, Kim Zolsiak, to don't be tardy, Kim Zolsiak.

Yeah, it is a full fairy tale moment.

It's beautiful.

It's really beautiful.

Okay, some news in the streaming wars.

Okay.

Peacock reaches over 15 million signups, the CEO says.

I was one of them, yes.

Yes, I was one of them as well.

What was I watching on Peacock?

I think it might have been Yellowstone.

That's what got me to subscribe.

I was watching Bethany Ever After.

Also, do you know that they don't have like all the seasons of Housewives?

I saw your story.

I

agree with you.

Yeah, that is true.

They only have Dallas for

that weird.

Right?

So where are you watching season one?

It's all on holiday.

That's so weird to me.

Like NBC.

It's so weird.

Like that's where I don't understand.

That's where the streamies get confusing.

And like just the TV industry.

Like someone explained to me how that makes sense.

It doesn't.

Okay.

Well, Comcast Cable is trending to add more than half a million broadband subscribers in the current third quarter.

What?

I don't know.

I just don't know how that has anything to do with Peacock.

Yeah.

But NBC Universal says that Peacock has reached more than 15 million signups, which I think is really good for the streaming wars.

Yeah, it's just so interesting

when they share data because like I think the most historic or like biggest launch ever was Disney Plus and they had like 4 million people sign up in a day.

I don't know what they're at now.

HBO Max was also really, really successful.

Quibi was not.

Quibi was not.

No, and Netflix obviously like launched a million years ago and over time accumulated like 11 billion subscribers.

But I'm like so here for like the streaming competition because as

we're benefiting we are benefit when all these big companies are trying to outdo each other we get lower prices we get more content so I'm just like here like licking it up and I actually when I was looking for the real housewives um franchise on my TV yesterday I was going through all my streaming services and I was literally trying to like figure out which ones I actually pay for and out of all my streaming services I only pay for HBO Max like because you mooch off of someone else's so we have our family netflix account that I don't pay for hulu I use Liz Heights Hulu

what are the other ones HBO Max I I did purchase because I mooched so much off of everyone else that I gave that to Olivia Uses It Now and you're welcome to use it if you want.

What about Peacock?

Peacock is free.

That's true, but you watch the ads?

Yeah.

I think I subscribed to Peacock.

Do you have Apple Plus?

No.

Okay.

I did, but then I think I canceled it.

And then what else is there?

I feel like we're missing a big one.

Ben pays for my Spotify.

Like, it's literally his debit card from high school.

I guess that's it.

Oh, Prime?

Prime.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, I did pay for Prime.

Fuck.

But I don't pay for Prime

video.

I paid for Prime.

Prime confuses the shit.

Yeah, me too, because I pay for the shipping, and somehow now I have an account, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I pay for the shipping, and like now I get movies.

Yeah, I pay like $100 a year to make sure my toothbrush comes tomorrow.

Yeah.

But I never really signed up for video.

But like, it's confusing.

It is really weird.

It's very confusing.

Yeah, it's because they're like, they have their hand in so many things.

It's like hard to keep it apart but i just know it just makes my life easier they're putting out even though there's really like never anything to watch on prime unless you're interested in like their amazon original shows which i'm not no no amazon prime is like for movie night when you have like an old movie you want to watch and you just have to go buy it because it's not going to be on netflix but that's not amazon prime that's like iTunes you know yes that's iTunes Amazon Prime is like what you get for free and all their shows and like literally Amazon Prime has like when you look at like what they recommend for me it's like

the most like direct to DVD hall movies that's you they're doing doing a good job.

No, no, no.

But like, even I wouldn't watch it.

Even I don't watch it.

Amazon has also been putting out like Rodeo and Juliet.

Oh, God.

Rodeo and Juliet.

Rodeo.

It's about a country couple that falls in love.

Amazon has also been putting out these like really high-quality emotional commercials.

Have you been seeing them?

No.

Like, I literally start watching these commercials and like I cry.

It's like just about all these different people who work for Amazon, like what it means to them and how they want to leave the world so great for their kids.

And it's like so nice.

And like, literally, they play this music.

And I'm like, am I crying?

That's so beautiful.

Yeah.

They know how to get you.

They also have a new mission by 2040.

They're going to be like a zero carbon footprint company.

How's that possible?

And in the commercial, the guy was like, we set this goal.

Like, we don't know how we're going to do it.

Like, but we're going to do it.

All of the boxes.

Well, so.

I've always thought that it was weird that like they didn't come up with something like more environmental friendly for the boxes.

But now almost all of their delivery trucks in California are electric and they're planning on like rolling that out to like the whole country, which is, I think, a good step.

But I don't know how, like, literally the biggest company in the the world boxes like stress me out just thinking of like where do all the boxes go i think they're reused yeah yeah you put them in the recycling but there's just so many boxes i don't really 100 understand how recycling works oh my god speaking of recycling this has nothing to do with recycling but the most dramatic thing happened to me yesterday

so

i ordered um groceries and all my groceries came and i mostly got um like snapple soda like i really get beverages when i order and so i saw this tick tock trick where you know like the to like the what is it 12 can cases that come in those big long cases of of soda a trick like for easily getting them in your fridge because usually i'm like one right right right two it's so frustrating i saw this trick and it works amazing you open up both ends of the the package you put the package in the fridge and then you push out the soda into the fridge and you pull the box out do you know what i'm saying

No.

Okay, so let me start one more time.

Okay, so you open up both.

Wait, which, what do you mean both ends like where of the box both ends of the soda like the top and the bottom not the side and the side

yeah wait it's a rectangle so it's like

where you are yeah where you open okay that's what I was thinking okay and so you put it open in the fridge okay both ends open okay and the end that's facing you you hold the sodas and you pull the box out and all the sodas just go in your fridge okay sure it's literally such a great time saving so you do it yeah i've done it for like the last couple weeks ever since i figured out the tick tock trend.

And then I thought I would do it with my glass snapple bottles.

Literally.

It was like four in a row.

No, no.

It's, I opened up both ends of the box and then picked it up and put it in my fridge.

When I should have put it in my fridge.

Oh my god, I can't.

They went flying.

I was wearing shoes.

My entire floor was soaked in peach snapple and there was glass.

everywhere.

Ben came running.

It literally, just by the sound of all these glasses breaking, like you would, I don't even know what he thought he was walking into.

It was so scary.

And like, I don't even know how you begin to clean that up because, like, you can't vacuum the glass up because there's soda everywhere.

Like, it was just

crazy.

Ben literally had to like cancel his three o'clock call.

I'm like, we were literally on our floor on our hands and knees, picking up shards of glass all afternoon.

It was, and that's why you shouldn't follow TikTok acts.

Okay, that's my lesson of.

How many broke?

Only three, but if you, if you saw it, you would literally think the whole box.

That is so crazy.

And NTHEO was okay.

He didn't stand up.

I could quickly lock him in the fridge.

I mean,

in the crate.

I mean.

I'm just like thinking about it in the fridge.

In the crate.

By the way, from the way you talk about it, it sounds like you have the biggest fridge ever.

Because I don't know if I could do those tricks.

Like, there's not enough like length for me to pull and there is and then also lock my dog in there

just try it just try it it's such a great hack but I would suggest only using aluminum cans not glass bottles okay okay thank you for that PSA because you know what like I actually think that people like that's a learn like that's some is a mistake that someone else would have made just because it's a very popular tiktok

like sometimes I'll like make you have to like you really have to learn things the hard way yep if unless like like, there's a podcaster, like, who's here to spare you?

Just do your glass snapple bottles one by one, okay?

Okay, thank you, Claudia.

Um, so yeah, was that the last story?

No, our fifth and final story is really a great segue into um recapping this is Paris because Paris Hilton says she turned down the Hills reboot a ton of times.

Good.

During an appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen on Tuesday, the entrepreneur, DJ, and former Simple Life star revealed she was asked to join the cast of MTV's The Hills and its 2019 reboot, The Hills, New Beginnings, several times.

Quote, yes, I did say no to it a ton of times, she said when asked if it was true that she turned it down.

They wanted me both times and I said no.

In fact, she says she gets reality TV offers daily.

For sure.

Quote, every single day we get different calls, people pitching shows, and I always say no.

I'm too focused on my business, said the star who owns 19 different product lines, including a line of 27 fragrances.

Quote, I just don't have time for that.

When they call me with something, I always just say, I don't have time.

Well, honestly, like, it was a good idea for the Hills producers, and it would have elevated the show.

But what people don't understand the show needs her right but what people don't understand about paris and i think what was really unveiled in the documentary it's like she's not just like this famous person like it's a very carefully coordinated business and like honestly i think her being on the hills would be like a huge step down oh for sure especially like just being part of an ensemble cast when it sounds like i'm sure literally if she went to e and said i want to have like a show about myself this is like it would be filming tomorrow.

Of course.

So like, but but it would be great for the Hills New Beginnings to have her, but like it wouldn't be great.

Right.

I think that was like the route they were were taking, like with Misha Barton, like who was everything of the sort.

And I'm so upset that she's not coming back.

Yeah, justice for her.

I really liked her.

I absolutely loved her.

Okay, let's talk about This is Paris.

What did you think?

I loved it.

I thought it was so interesting.

I was literally like laughing in anticipation of the Tomorrowland.

Because once I met the German cubs, I was thinking of your impression and I was laughing.

And then when it happened,

I was so shocked.

And I was so proud of her because

she really handled it like so sensitively at first and like was really putting up with a lot of shit.

And then once like she turned like goodbye, gone like just really strong.

And I just admired her so much in that moment.

Yeah, it was a really just interesting like spectacle almost of A, what it's like to date when you're parasoling because you just get these like losers.

He was mad that she was, he was there.

He was there with her, for her, to support her.

And she's fucking working.

Like, it's such a big deal to do tomorrow land, like the biggest festival in the world.

And like, you're just not going to be supportive.

And like, that was just upsetting.

Yeah, it was really upsetting.

I'm so glad that she kept, kicked him to the curb and like didn't put up with it because, you know, oh my God, it was just infuriating.

Like watching like him like hang on to her and like put his face in her neck and be like,

like, I just really can't.

But the rest of the documentary was so good.

I mean, she really is.

It's, I mean, she's so stunning, first of all.

Like, I mean, she's a beautiful girl and we've always known that, but seeing pictures of her like growing up and like in her teens and now and how similar, like she looks the same and by the way she does not get botoxic i know i know because like her forehead is amazing but it does move like it moves what it needs to move so and she she definitely does not get work done and she's just so stunning and i it was interesting to hear about like this character persona which i feel like we've all sort of known i think that actually the most interesting thing is like Because I feel like so many people say, you know, I play the dumb blonde, like Cameron Westcott, but like I'm in on the joke.

Right.

And okay, sure, like, I believe you.

But when she was talking to her friends from Provo and they were like, when we were asking the simple life and you said you didn't know how to use a mop, we're like, bitch, like, that's all we did there was clean.

Right.

So I just thought that was so interesting.

And it really is this characterization.

And it's like, she has two voices.

And I think people are shocked to realize like her natural voice is very low.

So deep.

And that's how you know, like.

And when, yeah, that's hot.

That's how you know it really is this character because her natural voice doesn't go up that high.

She really has like a man voice.

Yeah.

Nikki has a very low voice too.

Yeah, they both have low voices.

It's, it's really crazy.

And And I love their sisterhood.

I love their sisterhood.

Like they're so honest and straightforward with each other.

And they've had so many real conversations on camera that I thought were so interesting.

I just, I want for Paris.

Like I know like her brand sort of like gets in the way of everything for her, but I feel like

she could dial it back, you know, and I think that the audience would, yeah, and this might be the first set towards the first set, but I think that her audience would be really receptive towards that.

Yeah, but like she's just like hustles and she, it's, I just found it so interesting how like she does so many things that don't make her happy because she's just so motivated by being successful and specifically money.

And I feel like that's something like a lot of people might relate to.

It's like hating what you do, but like not even just like needing the money, but like wanting yourself to be like wanting all these things for yourself.

Yeah.

And wanting to hit all these benchmarks and like prove to everyone that like you're not dumb and like you are smart and you can be successful.

I'm like, I totally related to that.

And I just like, I just loved getting to know her.

I loved seeing seeing how she lived, like her closets and her racks of clothes.

It's so crazy because she's so disorganized.

And like when, in all of those moments when they were trying to leave the house to go to an event, she's carrying like a million things and like so many different backpacks.

Like it was so stressful to watch.

And I feel like a lot of times when you watch celebrities, and I feel like we're so used to watching the Kardashians, for example, and like every, they're like a perfectly scheduled train arrives on time.

Kim is always early.

Remember when Courtney literally had her assistants go through all of her pouches and organize the lip glosses, lipsticks, and lip liners?

Right.

Like that's the level of organization I'm used to from celebrity.

So to watch Paris, who's literally like on her computer, like it's like, who holds Kim's?

Like I know her Kim's computer is not as important to her daily job, but like

it's like

making sure the computer doesn't fall.

Like now I was just like, oh, the computer is going to fall.

Before tomorrow then, when literally her computer was like being flopped around the gym.

On a suitcase, like rolling around.

And it's like the whole set.

It was really stressful.

Yeah.

So I think that adds like stress to her life, but like the chaos is sort of what she's used to.

But I thought it was really interesting.

And the way that they did the documentary, I thought was really well done because we're learning so much about her.

And then pretty much a lot of the things that she struggles with stem from what happened to her while she was at Provo, obviously, like the insomnia and the PTSD.

But also that feeling of wanting to make so much money, I think for her, goes back to from when she was there, just wanting independence on every level.

And like hated being a kid and like having someone to answer to and someone like she couldn't just leave and go clubbing or not even clubbing, clubbing just like be her own person and i feel like a lot of people who grew up in like really strict households is households have that sort of feeling where it's like they need to be successful because they never want to be codependent or not in not self-sufficient yeah definitely yeah hers her childhood was fascinating like just like the houses and the living in the waldorf and just like her parents like i just oh and kyle richards cameo in the beginning like i just found i find like the richards hilton come up to be very fascinating.

Very, I agree, very fascinating.

And I also hope that with Breaking Code Silence that like they are able to get these places shut down because I feel like I remember growing up there were always like myths about those places like these boarding schools that come and like kidnap you in the middle of the night.

Yes.

For like kids who were out of line.

And by the way.

I never really thought of until this documentary how unbelievably traumatizing it is to get taken from your sleep in the middle of the night and not realizing it's something that your parents like coordinated.

Right.

Either not realizing that your parents are in on it or seeing your parents and them not helping you.

Right.

Like and feeling like no, like you can't trust me at once.

No one is going to be there to help you.

Like that is lasting trauma.

I never thought of the implications of that technique.

And I knew it's like you would send someone to military school.

Like they would come in and pick them up in the middle of the night.

And it was like this almost like trope that they did in like movies and TV shows.

Yeah.

And it's like, oh, yeah, it's really scary in that moment, but then you find out like you're just...

going to a school.

No, it's like that stays with you forever.

It's everlasting trauma.

And like watching her like be up all night and have to wake up early for these call times and like glam.

I don't know how she does it.

I know.

The sleeping was like giving me so much anxiety.

Yeah,

truly.

So it was good, right?

It was really good.

And I think that that's exactly what we needed from her.

Like, I feel like she either could have written a book or done this documentary.

And I thought it was really, really good.

Yeah, I feel like the documentary was a good route to take because you really get to see like how different she is from like Paris Hilton.

Like Paris is just like a down-home chick.

Yes.

So, I feel like that needs to be a little bit different.

She doesn't even, like, wear pink or sparkles when she's hanging out at home.

No, she just like wears sweatpants and like has a blowout.

Yeah, like, she's always like, just like her baggy black pants that she was always wearing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The glam was on point.

Her eyeshadow and her eyeliner, like, sickening.

Yeah, she has good glam.

Um, really quickly, so I wanted to restart a real house-wise franchise, and I started with New York.

And I just have to say, it's one of the most amazing decisions I've ever made.

Really?

I did not think you were going to say that.

It reminded me of how, like, when you, when you, enough time has passed and you can re-watch Desperate housewives like forgetting the true joy and beauty of so many things but most specifically alex and simon like stop i had totally forgot that they literally like tricked this group of women into thinking they were something and no they didn't no they did because literally you watch the first season and they're definitely weird and everyone knows they're like a little off you know like they're they live in brooklyn and they're just like kind of weird and everyone knows that they live in brooklyn in the beginning or they moved to Brooklyn I thought they moved but they lived in Brooklyn I think we just confuse her with Miranda 100 100 so I mean and the women in the group like know that they're just like a little different like off the beaten path but they're still very much in society they go to the opera they spend thousands of dollars at cavali they go to saint bart's it's like they do all the things right and literally they messed up the whole thing was a facade and they they messed it up by inviting bethany over to their house and filming at their house.

And I don't know if you remember, but season one, like they were literally living in squalor.

Like they bought this townhouse that they planned on renovating.

But I remember the townhouse.

There were no floors.

There were no walls.

Like there was just like.

Were they living there?

Yes.

With and like literally living in a basement.

Like, and it was, it was shocking.

And literally, we go to the reunion and everyone was like, was there anything that you guys saw on the show that you didn't like really experienced?

And it like shocked you.

And all of them were like, we couldn't believe how Alex and Simon were living.

And so it really like took this whole, like their whole image down because while they were never like the coolest people in Manhattan, they had ever, they were putting off this energy that they were like cool and different.

Yeah.

And it was just this fake

facade.

Like, and I forgot how much of like a,

how much they like faked their way through and how it was like pulled out from underneath them.

Like I totally forgotten about all of that.

I also had totally forgotten about this, the dynamics before the women, before they became famous.

Like, Luanne, in my opinion, was like the coolest.

100%.

And Ramona was like dying to crack that friend group and just like be friends with the countess.

And I'm sorry, I had totally forgotten, but like Jill is everything.

Like I loved her so much.

And now I remember why.

Like she's like your aunt.

Like she's so fabulous.

And her and Bethany are just becoming really close friends.

I'm like, I have a pit because like I know it doesn't end well.

Yeah.

But like the show I think became what it did because like first of all, the women were all wealthy.

Four out of six of the women had houses, like huge houses in the Hamptons.

And the other one was Bethany and she eventually gets one.

And the other one was Alex and Simon.

They obviously didn't have one.

And oh, do you remember when Alex and Simon rent a house in the Hamptons?

No.

So Jill and Bethany are staying at Jill's house for the summer.

And Jill gets a masseuse to come over.

And this woman, and you know, Jill, she can't just relax.

She's yenti, yenti yenza, talking, talking, talking.

And the masseuse is like, oh, I have this couple staying at my house.

I rent one of my one of my properties.

And Jill was like, oh, anyone I know?

And she's like, Alex and Simon Van Campen.

And Jill is shook.

They go to the house.

It is truly like, it's just the dichotomy between going from like Jill's house, the Countess's house, Ramona's house, so nice.

Who's the fourth one?

Whose house?

Jill.

There's another one, Luanne, Ramona.

No, I guess that's it.

Yeah.

Kelly.

Kelly joined season two.

Do you know that?

I thought she was season five.

Oh, interesting.

Kelly has a sick house in the Hamptons.

That's crazy that she did.

So she's running in the street season two?

Yes, I thought she joined like season four or five.

Me too.

No, she joined joined season two um she has a sick house in the hamptons and i was getting off track but my point was that like this was a really fabulous group of women like they were all so wealthy like their apartments in the city were sickening and i think i really enjoy watching it because it reminds me of a time in new york that like i think of very fondly like this is when i was like in high school and like i went to high school on the upper east side well we went to high school on the upper east side and like that's where all these women like frolicked and they went to scoop and ali shapiro went shopping like it just reminded me like really of my youth and like a great time in new york yeah and when like the upper east side was like this fabulous there were so many shops and restaurants.

Like even before coronavirus, it had like started to go downhill a little bit.

So it's just like, it's a time capsule almost to like see all these places and restaurants, Serafina.

That'd be like watching Gossip Girl again, because that's the same time.

I mean, there's just so much goodness to unpack.

And it was just this really fabulous group of women.

And you forget, they're really

Jill.

And she like laughs.

I run in a fabulous circle of people.

She wasn't lying.

She was not lying.

It really was this like amazing group of well-connected women.

And there was this like real social scene in new york and in the hamptons i remember they went to like this w hotel beach house i forgot that they even had that in the hamptons at one point like it was like a w hotel mansion like there was just like it was just like a fabulous time in new york and it was a fabulous group of women and they've really fallen so far and you forget where they came from that's so interesting i really thought when you said that you were gonna start from the beginning like you were making a mistake honestly and if i If I had responded to you, I would have told you to watch Beverly Hills because I would have thought that that would be more interesting.

But it's crazy to hear that you're loving it, even though, like, do you think that like the drama and the storylines are as big as like they feel today?

No, they were minuscule, but like it was just so fresh, and this was before reality TV was a thing.

So, just like Bethany picking up Luanne, getting into the car and introducing Luanne to the driver as Luanne, Luanne literally going off about how she needs to be introduced to staff as Mrs.

De La Seps, and it's similar to how you introduce yourself to a child as you do to a driver.

That's literally what she said.

It commands a level of respect even that's nothing like today that would be nothing it was just fascinating like to see these women and like come from these worlds you know yeah and you just forget about the townhouse you forget about the count you forget about luanne's son noelle taking break dancing lessons like you just forget about it you know yeah it's really it's but what's fascinating quality of watching it first season is a little blurry second and on is fine okay yeah i i was i was worried about that as well but even the reunion like andy's so young and that's when it was called watch what happens

period like not watch what happens live no it was watch what happens but not that not the reunion yes season one and like they would go to a clip and it would be like watch what happens and then the clip that's so crazy yeah so it's just like a it's like a time capsule of new york of bravo has it made you when does sonia join not season two she's like kind of late no i feel like she's season three she's never on with kelly i don't think except for scary island right

i don't think sonia was on scary island that's so weird i would have thought that sonia joined before kelly no i knew Kelly was before, but I thought Kelly was like four, five, six, which I think she's two, three, four.

Are you like looking forward to or dreading when Cindy Barshop joins?

I'm actually like excited to revisit that whole quag thing.

I thought it was so funny.

I think it'll be good for you to revisit like why she made such a lasting impression on you.

She did.

Leave me alone.

She didn't.

She did not.

She did.

She did not.

I think we should have her on the show.

I think we should move on to Deer Toasters.

Oh my God, I forgot about Deer Toasters.

Yeah.

So again, Deer Toasters is our advice segment.

If you ever want to write write us in, and please do, we're running dry on some good content.

But deartoasters at gmail.com is the email.

We'll always keep it anonymous.

We'll never rout you out, but you can write in about any problems that you're having, and we will do our best to help you.

So let's dive right in.

Excuse me.

Hi, Jackie and Claudia.

Hi.

I'm writing you because I'm very conflicted.

My parents have been married for 28 years, but recently things have not been okay.

They fight all the time and they don't even share a room.

They constantly talk about how they can't wait to move out of the house they live in now and keep saying my dad will go to Florida and my mom will go to Rhode Island.

A couple days ago, my dad went to the doctor.

My mom, being a nurse, always reads what the doctor wrote on his notes from the visit.

My mom noticed that he was prescribed Viagra,

which caused a huge fight, and my mom thinks that he's cheating.

They kind of dropped it, and I think it was either solved or ignored.

I just went on.

I just went to walk around the couch to go upstairs, and my dad was on the phone, and I think he was on a Tinder on his phone.

What do I do?

Do I tell my mom it looked like a dating app and there was a picture of a woman at the bottom?

I don't even, I know that even if it's not true, my mom will not let it go.

But if he's cheating, do I just tell her?

Please Please help.

A toaster in a situation I didn't ask to be in.

Ooh, this is so difficult.

I like, I, and I can't judge because like I've never been a parent, but I just firmly believe that like the parents' issues are the parents' issues, and like you should really try and keep it away from the kids for as long as you're like.

What about when the kids are adults?

Like, say this girl is 30.

A kid is an adult, but like they're still your kid.

Yeah, I agree, but like.

There's a difference between like not involving the children and not involving just the offspring.

I actually feel like when you're getting divorced, like it might be easier on a 12-year-old than it is on like a 25-year-old.

It's different.

I think that it's hard on a 12-year-old because I think that there's a lot that they don't understand.

But then I think for a 25-year-old, it's like they actually understand too much.

And that's also difficult.

And when you get divorced at that age, it sort of like makes you question your entire life.

And when you're 12, it's like kids are just really, really like flexible.

That's like.

room.

Like you really see like kids can bounce back.

But also,

yes, in some senses, but it also sort of,

since they're not like fully formed, like it affects how they will grow up, grow.

So, I mean, it's, it's tough regardless, I think, but I, I, I think for this person.

So the question is, like, should you tell your mom what you saw on your dad's phone?

It also, it sounds like your mom has her suspicions, and it also sounds like they're living separate lives.

Yeah, it sounds like you need to come to the realization like your parents are most likely getting divorced.

And like, you need to be okay with that.

Let them figure it out.

It'll happen honestly in the next few years.

And also, like, you thought you saw something, but I wouldn't go to your mom with something that you thought that you saw.

Like, and I'm not telling you to snoop and find something legit, but if you have, if you see something, if you, in your travels, you see, like, legitimate evidence, share that with her.

Don't share like a feeling or a thought that you had.

Don't start like a whole balagon unless you have like hardcore proof.

Hardcore proof.

And it sounds like you don't.

It sounds like you have a feeling and like a stress.

And it sounds like your mom has the same feeling that you have.

So I don't think there's any need to like.

Yeah.

If your mom was like,

had no idea of anything, like then you would feel responsibility.

But it seems like they have a whole plan.

They're moving out.

Like, you don't need to make things worse.

Right.

Yeah.

I totally agree.

The feeling,

no.

Stay out of it.

Yeah.

All right.

H-Y-D, Jackson, Claude.

I've been wanting to bring this up for a while, but my situation never felt big enough to share.

One of my coworkers, she named him Elon Musk's son's name, and I honestly don't know how to pronounce it.

Let's call him Angel.

One of my coworkers, let's call him Angel, is very creepy towards me.

Wait, she wrote XAE12.

X-A-E-A-12.

That's what she wants to call her coworker.

That's funny.

Okay, that I'll call.

One of my coworkers, let's call him XAEAE12, is very creepy towards me.

I've always been nice to him because he's a strange human who's more socially awkward than Alex McCord.

Wow, that's so weird because we were literally just talking about her.

I find that quality endearing, so I befriended him at work to make him feel more comfortable.

You sound like such a nice person.

Since then, he's been making inappropriate comments and advances towards me.

For example, when we were in the office, he complimented my ankles and how he admired the space between my socks and pants.

This was in front of my whole team, and I cringily accepted the comment.

Fast forward to today, the same team was in a Zoom meeting, and XAE12 had to share his screen.

What do I see on his screen?

A picture of my fucking ankle on his desktop.

Three of them, actually.

I know it's mine because I have a particular scar near my foot.

Should I hide under a rock or do something?

I'd rather not say anything because it's embarrassing.

Best cankles.

Wow.

That is something, truly.

That is

so weird.

Look, I'm actually speechless.

Like,

like

the optimist in me wants to say, well, because when he complimented you on your socks to your pants ratio, like, sometimes people wear like theirs, like, say you're wearing socks like I'm wearing with like a capri.

And like, on me, that would look like terrible.

It's a tough look to pull off.

Yeah, maybe he was like really into it.

And like, maybe he has a girlfriend and like took a picture to show her like you should try this style.

Oh my god, Jackie.

Honestly, like I would love for you to ignore this because confrontation is weird, but like this really sounds like the beginning of like cultivating passing lifetime movie.

He like this is not normal behavior and I'm afraid like it could really turn into something scary and like dangerous and it's just really creepy and I feel like you have to like tell HR, which is just so awkward and so uncomfortable.

But these are like signs that you shouldn't ignore.

Yeah.

And I just feel like until it's resolved, you should just like wear pants that cover your ankles.

100%.

You don't want to tempt them.

I will literally, I will literally Amazon Prime.

We'll send you some like big Ugboot to cover your ankles, like huge socks, because you have to protect yourself.

And maybe.

You have to protect your ankles.

They're such, it's literally your Achilles heel.

Yeah, yes.

It's such a tender part.

Your ankles are so beautiful that they actually put you in danger.

It's such a tender part of your body.

And it reminds me of the movie Sleepover when we see

Steve, is that his name?

Carol?

No, no, no, her boy, the guy that's Steve.

Steve, when he's in the shower, when he's getting in the shower and he drops his boxers and we see his Achilles tendon, they just look so vulnerable.

And you have to protect that.

And you know what?

Honestly, I think it's also your job to protect the other women in the office.

So I think that what you should do is like...

like turn all the air conditioning up really really really cold so that all the women like have to wear furry socks i got it better you should release like an army of ants and they'll start biting everyone's ankles so everyone will wear like long pants.

That seems like really dramatic.

No, or just release a box of vet ants.

No, I think the air conditioning thing is good.

Or like get a bunch of your female coworkers like matching socks like with monograms on it to be like, we should wear these every day to work and like never wash them.

Or like if HR doesn't heed your complaint, like you should take up a petition with HR like for a dress code where everyone's ankles have to be covered.

Yes, like Gilead in

Handmaid's Tales.

Yeah, everyone has to wear now like long dresses and head covering.

But the ankles could be covered by socks.

Yeah, that is what they're there for.

This is a weird one.

Honestly, good luck.

But don't take it lightly.

This is like creepy behavior, and I feel like it is the start of a bad movie.

So

look into it.

Yeah, protect your ankles.

All right, next up, final one.

Claudia and Jackie, welcome, welcome, welcome.

Back to the studio.

I started dating this guy right before the holidays last December.

He was tall, creative, and had a corgi.

Corgi?

Corgi.

Oh my God.

god, I was like, a what?

A corgi.

He had an

idea.

I feel like people who describe other people as creative are very like interesting people.

The people who describe others as creative?

Yeah.

I've like never thought once to describe someone as a creative.

Oh, interesting.

She's like an interesting adjective to use.

Yeah, but I also think it's super descriptive.

And she said he's a creative or he's creative.

He was tall, creative, and had a corgi.

I think there's a difference between being creative and being a creative.

Like when you're.

I think being a creative is like literally the fakest job job ever.

No, yeah, I think that when you're creative, like I think people would describe me as creative.

Like in every way, I'm creative.

You paint your nails.

My imagination, like I just creative.

But I'm not a creative.

That is someone who like works in Brooklyn and they have like glasses

and they have an iPad where they like make graphic designs on it with a little pen.

With a little pen thing.

Yeah.

That is a creative.

Okay, so she started dating this guy last December before the holidays.

He was tall creative and had a corgi.

Wait.

Corgi, Yeah, yeah.

Corgi.

Okay.

It like sounds wrong.

No, corgi sounds wrong.

So what could really go wrong?

Key to the global pandemic.

We were only dating for three months when we decided to leave New York City together and come back to my house in Massachusetts to quarantine.

We were living in my grandmother's beach house and TBH.

She was driving me insane.

Desperate to get away from him.

All that creativity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It had nowhere to be funneled.

Desperate to get the fuck away from him.

I invited slash begged my sister to come and join us on the Cape.

As soon as she came down, I realized this guy was not it.

Long story short, we eventually brought him back to New York City, and a week or so later, I called him to end things.

He was not understanding and thought I was cheating on him.

I wasn't.

Hello, global pandemic, not many guys around.

But how do you tell someone it's them, not you?

Anyway, I sent him back all his stuff plus a birthday present I had previously ordered for him to his apartment in New York City.

I included a return shipping label and a note asking him to return anything I left at his place before the world blew up.

He is refusing to return my stuff and said that I'm selfish for setting the return label and was clearly never interested in him.

But he has a lot of important I have a lot of important wait he has a lot of important stuff at his place including a pair of my snake skin booties a winter ski jacket a curling iron and a bracelet for my grandmother how do i get the box back i've been deliberately contacting his brother mom or even his brother's girlfriend who i became close with what do i do wow that's really sad like her grandmother's bracelet yeah like this is so petty still on the cape or is she back in the city she didn't say but i actually i think she probably today she's back in the city we eventually brought him back to nyc so yeah they all went back okay so i think if you're not getting your stuff and like it's not stuff that you can leave like go with your sister, knock on his door and get in there and get your stuff.

Yeah, honestly, like, and when I get there, I would prioritize.

Like, as much as your winter ski jacket is important, it's not as important as your bracelet from your grandmother.

But if she can't find it, like, what if he hid it?

What if he threw it away?

People do like really evil things when they get hurt.

But I'm like, that would be so crazy.

And you know what?

Let this be a PSA to girls everywhere.

Like, if you're thinking of breaking up with a partner, like, make sure you've been at their house recently and like take all the important things.

Maybe, and you don't want it to seem like you planned this.

Like, leave like an ugly, chunky sweater, but keep like your important jewelry yeah i would agree with that like if you know you're not gonna see the person ever again like go over and clean out yeah before you break up or like maybe even leave the ski jacket but like get the bracelet like something that you truly can't go on without honestly i feel like this girl is most upset about her snake skin booties not only because she titled she named it sorry she listed it the first one she also signed it sincerely a booty list toaster so she's really missing oh my god where are the booties from i mean the worst would be if they're like your favorite booties and they're from a few seasons ago and you you can't get them but check posh marker they're real real like you might find them you never know yeah but also just go over there and fucking take your shit back yeah you're never gonna end the relationship if like you're not fully moved out and like yeah like emotion like if you guys were only dating three months into like before quarantine and then like you quarantined together for a little and it wasn't even good like you guys have been broken up for a long time now and like you should be moving on not like thinking about your grandmother's bracelet.

Well, we also talk about quarantine relationships a lot and I feel like this is maybe like the least ideal.

Like you met someone and like you thought it would be like great for you guys to quarantine together and you really didn't know him that well so like once you started quarantining together like you realized he wasn't it like that sounds really really difficult yeah especially like if you're in the Cape like because I feel like it's hard to um to get there and like get back oh yeah it's not somewhere you could just commute back and forth especially when there weren't a pandemic and there weren't flights so like you have to take the ferry and like did you have a car um or you have to take a bus or a train like that's a lot yeah but good luck with that and just just head over there take charge take charge but also bring someone with you.

Yes, of course.

Maybe the police.

That is our show.

Again, that's Dear Toasters.

Please write us in deartoasters at gmail.com.

Those ones were great today, but we are running low.

So email us anything.

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And that is our show.

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We will see you tomorrow.

What's on tonight?

Briel Housewise of Beverly Hills.

Beverly Hills.

Okay, another reunion part three.

I believe it's the last one.

Wow.

I'm ready for that.

I'm ready to put this behind me.

We'll be recapping it tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

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Bye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.