S3 Ep123: Doodylicious: Thursday, July 16th, 2020

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Thursday.

We are so close to Friday.

It's feeling so close, so close I can see it, but it's not right there.

It's one day away, and that is okay.

Hope everyone's having a fabulous morning so far.

We are so excited to be coming at you, Live and in Living Color from Manhattan.

What used to be formerly the greatest city on earth.

Formerly the greatest city on earth.

We need to talk about this.

We haven't spoken about it yet.

Really?

I feel like we talk about it all the time.

No, no, no, no, no.

We always talk about like Manhattan's shithole, blah, blah, blah.

But what's happened in the city in the last...

Few months, month or so.

You could feel it in the air.

The quality of life is really deteriorating.

Deteriorated.

Yet it's still the most expensive city in the world.

So it's like, what are we doing here?

I don't know what we're doing here.

Most people like have fled.

The numbers of people who have left the city are staggering.

The city is just in disarray.

I actually was going to share that yesterday.

I had probably one of the worst days I've had in quarantine.

Was it a CVS punching machine day?

No, it was a Cleveland day.

It was a day where I got on Zillow and I was like, Cleveland, Ohio.

I think we need to change a Cleveland day.

It's a Charlotte Day because if we do ever move, we are moving to Charlotte.

Yeah, no, but like, you know what kind of day day that is, like a day where it's just like, I will pack all my things in a handbag and flee this town

and never come back and never look back.

Yeah, no, I've been having, well, actually, I don't leave my house, so I haven't been having many of those days, but when I do make the very brave decision to leave my house, it's just you could you could feel it in the air.

There's just something different about the city, and it's it's not what it used to be, and I don't know how long it'll take to recover.

And I can't even put my finger on what's wrong with the city, but there's like a palpable difference in just quality of life.

Yeah, and it's not even about quarantine anymore.

I hate even to say like it was a bad day in quarantine because we're in phase three.

Like we're now just in purgatory.

Right.

Where it's like we can go places, but we're just still staying home.

Yeah, and we're not staying home because of Corona anymore.

Like we're staying home because the city is just not where you want to be.

I'm actually still staying home because of Corona.

You know, I made it this far.

I really don't want to catch it.

The rate of infection now in New York is like below 1%.

Well, yes, when I got my COVID test at CityMD, I I said, how long is it going to take?

And when you and Margo went, they said, what, two to three days?

Yeah, and it was quicker than that.

It's now seven to ten days.

And I said, excuse me, what?

And she's like, yeah, no, the labs are so overbooked with other states that have now become hotspots.

New York is no longer a priority because it's not really a hotspot anymore.

Yeah.

Which is good, obviously, but I'm still waiting for my results.

I thought maybe she was like seven to ten and then it would like come tomorrow.

So I've been checking every day, but they haven't come yet.

And you just got tested just I got tested for antibodies and then I'm like, while I'm there, I might as well just like maybe see if I have corona.

I feel fine.

I'm just, maybe I'm one of those people, you know, it's just like asymptomatic.

Asymptomatic.

I get like a little tinkle in my throat.

Yeah.

Actually, one year ago today, I was like in my time up, I had strep throat, which reminded me, like, not to jinx, but I haven't had strep throat in so long.

And I used to be on like a two to three a year times basis.

Um, and obviously I saw because my time up was just pictures of my tonsils and all the blisters on my tonsils.

And it just reminded me, like, we should be so grateful for our health, you guys.

It's, it's the only thing that matters.

It's very true.

Do you know that I've never had strep throat?

Even as a child?

Even as a child.

I've never.

And sometimes I had like a throatache and I was convinced it was strep throat and I went to the doctor and it wasn't.

Like I've never had strep.

I like don't believe you.

Not that you're lying, like you probably forgot.

No, no, no, no.

I just every and it was honestly a little disappointing because it's like I'm in so much pain.

Right.

How do I not have strep?

Give me the amoxicillin.

Yeah.

And it wasn't strep any of those times.

I find that so hard to believe.

It's such a common thing for kids.

I know.

And for me, it's literally a common thing like every year.

As an adult, I don't think there's any like common illness.

Like I'm not comparing it to like illnesses that put you in the hospital, but like strep throat, the flu.

Like I don't, I actually think strep throat is worse than the flu.

If you get it bad, holy shit.

I've had it many times.

And there are two occasions that come to mind where I actually thought I was going to die.

I actually wouldn't know what it feels like because I've never had it.

You should be so blessed.

It's the worst.

And like when you have it, you're like, oh my God, I wish I just had like the flu.

I wish I just had food poisoning because there's nothing worse than fucking strep throat.

It's awful.

I cannot believe that you've you've never had it.

I remember, like, as kids, it was like the one thing when you went to the doctor and you weren't feeling well, they just like always tested you for strep.

Yeah, and they shoved that thing down your throat.

Because that's usually what it was.

And like you would giggle because the real strep is streptococcus.

And we're like, cock.

I didn't even know that.

I wasn't even in on the strep.

You're not even part of the club.

I'm not part of the strep throat club.

Wow, how sad.

STC.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

Wow, you learn something new about your sister every day.

I should add that to my like two truths in a lie repertoire.

Yes.

That's a really good one.

You know, I always struggle with those sorts of icebreakers.

Me too.

Every time I've ever played that game, I always say three lies.

Like I just, I can't even come up with the truth about myself, let alone a lie.

The lies are easier to come up with.

The lies, the lies.

Yeah, no, I'm like, I was born in Canada.

My eye color is fake.

And I'm allergic to dairy.

All lies.

All lies.

So I just let the audience choose.

I'm like, you're right.

How did you know?

That is so funny.

Well, yeah.

So anyways, it was a big time Cleveland Day.

A big time anywhere but here day is what I say.

I know.

And if you're a toaster and you're in the city.

Godspeed.

Godspeed.

God be with you.

So I was all alone yesterday by myself because

Ben went to play golf.

You know what I mean?

The most crazy thing?

Sure.

Ben left the house to play golf at 8 a.m.

What time do you think he got home?

10 p.m.

11.

What was he doing?

Playing golf, and he played in West Hampton, which is so far, two hours each way.

Then they stopped for lunch, they stopped for dinner.

And like, I actually got home.

He got home and I refused to speak to him.

I'm like,

it like, there's, and you know what, I don't even mind not being with him.

Like, I like being alone.

I obviously prefer, especially at night, also because I had a traumatic experience in my apartment over the weekend.

My dog walker came and I opened the door and he said, he said the most upsetting thing you can hear a human being say.

And he said, I have to let you know, I just got off the elevator and I saw two cockroaches go under the door of one of the apartments on your floor and you have no idea how upsetting that is because i take extermination very seriously like if i see any sort and by the way for those who don't live in new york it's i know like we make it sound so glamorous but it's it's actually not rodents whether it be roaches or mice are a very very common occurrence like in the fanciest best no one is above it like literally no one it's partially due to the fact that the city is very not clean, partially due to the subways.

It's just, it's very common.

Also, since the quarantine, actually,

the rodents and the cockroaches, they've gotten like, it's been sort of like rat on rat crime out there.

A gang war?

Yeah, no, there's been gang wars among the rats, and I have to assume among the cockroaches because the restaurants have been closed, so they don't have access to the food that they normally have.

So they've been eating each other.

Leading to like a super rat phenomenon because it's like survival of the fittest.

So the only rats that are here are the biggest and the baddest.

But see, this makes me think like, this is a New York problem.

But, you know, other regions of the country have their own rodent problems.

Like, I think in certain parts of the country, it's like you can get snakes.

In certain parts of the country, you can get like lizards.

Like, I think in Arizona, like the drier areas.

So it's like, I don't, I honestly, like, I don't know what's worse.

I think I can handle a lizard over a roach.

Roaches, and so I have seen.

So in my, you know, 25 years.

you know, 15 of which have been spent in New York,

I have had my fair share of rodent experiences and it paralyzes you.

Like it, it takes over your life and your home is not your home anymore.

It is literally like

a nightmare.

It's a living nightmare.

Like I'll never forget when I saw a roach in our house growing up once, it changed my life forever.

I was no longer comfortable in my own home.

I would enter every room, open the door, stand outside, scan the floor, and then walk in.

So when my dog walker came and said, I can't even like have this conversation because I have the willy.

Jaggy, he came and he said, I saw two roaches.

And so they were a duo.

It was a duo.

And it just killed me because I take extermination so seriously.

You know, our animatics take sketch comedy very seriously.

I take extermination very seriously.

I've never seen a duo like together joined at the hip

in the city.

No, it was literally a tag team, Ponnie and Clyde,

Thelma and Louise.

Jackie and Claudia.

My building has a exactly.

My building has a monthly exterminator that comes to every apartment and does the whole building.

And then I also have a monthly, like I have not one, but two.

And I've lived in the apartment for almost two years and I haven't seen anything.

So it was about time that I were to see something.

But it just, it ruined me.

Like, it just, it shattered my emotional well-being.

Like, I can't sleep now.

I had a dream about the cockroach.

Like, it's,

it's just,

it's, it's devastating for my entire building and the community.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I feel as though, on the plus side, though, having a dog might help.

Theo's technically a dog.

No, but like, if he were to see.

But Theo essentially went to private school.

You know, he's not really the hunter.

But you know what?

He'll rise to the challenge.

He'll step up to the plate.

What's one thing you've asked of him that he didn't do for you?

Oh my God.

I have to tell you something heartbreaking.

Stop.

It's really bad.

Stop.

This is telling me so many elements of this story are going to completely devastate you.

Stop.

I already knew the first half, so just bring it up.

No, you don't.

What's the first half?

That you saw two roaches.

Oh.

Oh, no, this is a totally, it's about Theo.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Theo, for the first time in probably two years.

Oh my God, a button fell off my shirt yesterday.

You know, I saw that button on my shirt.

And I was walking down the street and like, my breast was exposed because I thought it's like my button had fallen off.

And I was like, how am I going to find this button?

It's right there.

Literally right there.

Go get it.

Okay, but back to the story that's going to break your heart.

For the first time in about two years.

Okay.

Oh, Theo had an accident.

Okay.

There's more to it.

But wait, there's more.

But wait, there's more.

Give me my solo camera.

Theo had an accident on the love sack.

What?

Yeah.

What kind of accident?

One?

One.

Yeah, another one.

But unfortunately, I do think it is a part of an overall problem that I'm working out with the vet.

I think Theo may be suffering from a UTI,

which is very,

which is very uncommon in male dogs.

But my vet has told me forever that Theo has a very feminine spirit because he's followed by, I mean, he hangs out with a lot of feminine energy and he pees like a girl, like all this stuff.

So it's not impossible, but it's very uncommon for a male dog to have a UTI.

But I think my boy might be special and he might have a UTI.

We're going to take him to an x-ray.

Okay, well, you know what?

Like UTIs once identified and prescribed,

they're okay.

Manageable.

But I'm just, I'm so sad that he had to, imagine.

Imagine having a UTI and not being able to tell someone.

No, devastating.

Of course, you're going to piss on the couch and say, and on your favorite spot, so that you're saying, mom, like, it's not a regular accident.

Your son is not okay.

No, it was very intentional.

He was trying to communicate with me.

And I, I missed, like, I wasn't listening clearly.

And he had to make me listen.

And I understood, Theo, and I hear you.

You know what?

I'm actually, I'm not, this story does not concern me because it shows me that Theo, like, he understood that he needed to get your attention and he did what he needed to do.

That's exactly why he peed on Love Sack, not for anything.

Well, I hope he's not in pain.

Well, he probably was in pain, which is why he had to make a scene.

We're handling it.

Stat.

Okay, well, oh my God, Theodora.

So I'm assuming that's why he's not at work today.

No, I just wasn't in the mood to like get sweaty walking him over here.

Yeah, even though it is a bit chillier today in the city and it's the lovely weather.

Yes.

This is bringing me back to the olden times where we used to have so much to talk about.

No, I love it.

Well, actually, I didn't like, after the show, I got my eyebrows waxed, so I was like out for an extra hour and I had some things to talk about.

You know, I was actually thinking, and I would love to maybe get some suggestions from the audience, because like people have really come to love deer toasters, and honestly, I have too.

And it's like sad that it only happens once a week.

And I would like to have like one more weekly installation, like something we do every week.

Okay, but not deer toasters.

No, like a different fun segment.

Okay.

So if anyone has, I don't have any ideas, obviously, but if anyone does, I would love to hear.

Like maybe, I don't know.

Maybe we'll do like a team brainstorm.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of ideas.

Cool.

So.

Without further ado, I do think that it is time.

Yeah, I guess so.

For the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And today's episode is brought to you by patreon.com/slash morning toast.

We just did an episode yesterday all about conspiracy theories.

You guys, some like people are so crazy about conspiracy theories, and it really like fueled me hearing how much you guys love the episode.

We talked about a few

ancillary ones at the end, but the big three that we talked about were the Wayfair conspiracy, which the more I read,

the more I'm like, this is so clear as day.

I'm convinced that it's true.

Then we talked about Free Brittany, which we concluded is not necessarily a conspiracy theory, just like concerned fans who are taking it amongst themselves to bring justice to their girl.

Mm-hmm.

It's a movement for justice.

We talked about the theory that some of the biggest celebs are not in quarantine.

They're actually under house arrest right now.

That one I wasn't so sure about.

But if you are not like in...

up to speed with the current conspiracy theories, which I wasn't, it's a great episode for you.

We start from the beginning, like teach you everything you need to know, uncover a lot of facts.

It was really a good episode.

I'm not like one for conspiracy theories, but every time I hear one, I'm like, oh, it's true.

And I've never been more sure of anything in my life that Wayfair is 100% involved in some sort of international child trafficking

charade,

which is just so awful and disgraceful.

And I think more people should be talking about it.

But, you know, for our own safety, we had to put the episode behind a paywall because you never know.

You know, we're not trying to get axed.

So patreon.com slash a morning toast.

It's a fabulous way for you guys to get more content.

It's $7.99 a month for five extra episodes.

And the episodes are always a little bit more in-depth.

We let you in a little bit more.

They're either themed, like conspiracy theories, or they're just more personal about us.

Or vlogs with the family.

Right.

So it's always really fun.

And that's where we can be ourselves.

Our true selves.

And it's just a great way to support the show.

Yes.

If you are into supporting our show, please hit us over to support fellow podcasters.

Patreon.com/slash the morning toast.

Okay, first story, a follow-up to yesterday's story.

Nick Cannon apologizes for anti-Semitic remarks as Fox announces he'll remain host of The Masked Singer.

So Nick Cannon put out a statement yesterday after we shared that he didn't apologize.

He didn't apologize.

He sort of doubled down and said, you know, this is what I said.

But now he's apologizing for the remarks that he made during a recent podcast episode.

He said, quote, first and foremost, I extend my deepest and most sincere apologies to my Jewish sisters and brothers for the hurtful and divisive words that came out of my mouth during my interview with Richard Griffin.

As a Jewish sister, thank you.

Thank you for seeing me.

Quote, they reinforce the worst stereotypes of a proud and magnificent people, and I feel ashamed of the uninformed and naive place that these words came from, he wrote.

While the Jewish experience encompasses more than 5,000 years, and there is so much I have yet to learn, I have had at least a minor history lesson over the past few days, and to say that it is eye-opening would be a vast understatement.

He expressed his gratitude to rabbis, community leaders, and institutions who reached out to me to help enlighten me instead of chastising me.

I want to assure my Jewish friends, new and old, that this is only the beginning of my education.

I'm committed to deeper connections, more profound learning, and strengthening the bond between our two cultures today and every day going forward.

Okay.

So, you know, I live for an apology because it's just a part of the zeitgeist now, and there are different, varying levels of apology.

And to me, this is...

This is pretty solid.

I'm not going to lie.

Like, I feel there was a part of there that you didn't read that I would

just like to mention because to me, it was the most important part of the apology.

If you would just give me one moment.

I know he put it on his Instagram story.

Take your time.

It's important enough to take your time.

Okay.

The part that I

wait.

Hold on.

What was it about?

Basically, like acknowledging that these weird conspiracy theories that he was talking about were propaganda.

Like, I think they used, and I'm pretty sure he used the word propaganda, which I really appreciated.

Hold on, yeah.

Maybe he didn't.

Yeah, I just looked at the tweets and I didn't see.

Oh, I thought I did see it.

Hmm.

Whatever.

On a scale of apologies, like I actually genuinely really appreciate this apology.

I think it was like really necessary and really

well done.

Now, part of me, like this news comes out with conjunction that he'll remain host of the Mask Singer, which obviously, like, the cynic in me, I'm like, did he have someone craft this apology just so that he could keep his job on Mask Singer?

Because, you know,

girls gotta eat.

But I'll choose to be optimistic and not think that that's how the world works.

I really appreciated the apology.

I thought it was very, very well done.

And

yeah, I mean, I don't know what else we could ask for at this point.

So, yeah, it didn't even cross my mind that it could be connected to keeping his job and that someone else might have written it.

I thought it was a very

genuine, as genuine as you could be, apology.

And I, when people apologize, like, I take it at face value and I try to to forgive.

So if these are his words and this is how he feels, I'm in the business of forgiveness.

100%.

And I'm in the business of lifting each other up.

Yeah.

And I liked what he said about learning and moving forward

and recognizing

how he was wrong and that he was wrong.

And that's really all you can ask of people.

And we'll see what happens going forward.

That's how you can judge people, not by what they say, but what they do moving forward.

But for now,

I'm okay.

Yeah, no, and you know what?

Yesterday, when he wasn't apologizing, and I was like, wow, not only are there people who think this, but even when called out.

And the thing about this conspiracy theory, it's kind of where

we should have included it in our Patreon.

You know, these anti-Semitic things,

it's kind of a genius thing.

It's like, we're telling you that Jews control the world.

And so if I get fired for this, it just proves what I'm saying.

Right.

But no, you're not getting fired because Jews control the world.

You're just getting fired because you said something incredibly offensive to a magnificent group of people.

Right.

So when he wasn't apologizing, it made me feel really sad.

I was like, wow, there's people who really think this way and they're going to put their stake in the ground and

not relent.

And die on this hill.

So I'm really grateful that he apologized in what seems to be a very sincere way.

And

we'll see what happens from here.

We'll see what happens from here.

But for now, like it's noted and it's appreciated.

Yes, definitely.

And I like Nick Cannon, so hopefully it can stay that way.

Yeah,

it's sad when it's someone you like.

Yeah, no, if it's someone you hate, it's like, oh, I knew all along, you know?

But when it's someone you like, it's painful.

Yeah, and you also want to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, and I am so about have

people the benefit of the doubt.

It's so valuable.

It says so in the Bible.

Yes.

Have

chut.

Claudia, that's beautiful.

Maybe that should be the name of the day.

Should we have today's name of the episode be in Hebrew?

Okay.

That would be cool.

Have a dan lecha.

Yeah, that one.

Okay,

I don't know if that's like the exact verbiage.

I'll have to look it up.

Okay.

This next story is really crazy.

As we mentioned last week, Amber Heard, Johnny Depp are in court.

Oh my God.

Honestly, I can't with the messiest couple of 2020.

Like these people are out of control.

I don't know whose side to take.

I don't really even fucking care.

I'm so over these people, but what happened now?

Amber Heard has been accused of stealing her ex-assistant's sexual violence story.

What?

Amber Heard stole her former assistant, a former assistant's harrowing story of surviving a rape at Knife Point, then twisted it to use against warring husband Johnny Depp, the ex-staffer alleged in a UK court on Wednesday.

Kate James told Depp's libel case in London's High Court that her former boss had summoned her in 2013 so that she could pump her for information on surviving a six-hour rape while traveling in Brazil.

What?

Quote, Miss Heard referred to a conversation we had about me being violently raped at Machete Point in Brazil, and she used it as her own story, James told the court on Wednesday.

Where did she use it as her own story?

She referred to it, she referred directly to a violent rape that occurred to her 26 years ago, and she twisted it into her own story and used it for her own use.

Wait, oh my God, by the way, this story about this assistant, can we talk about that for a minute?

That's horrible.

This is horrible.

Machete, six-hour rape.

Oh, my God.

That's absolutely awful.

And the fact that now she has to rehash it in such a public...

Oh, my God, that's fucking terrible.

Yeah.

This couple is just...

Like, I'm starting to hate them both individually, like, for making me listen to this trash.

And I somehow ended up on a part of the internet last night where I saw a picture of the duty Amber Heard.

Shut up.

The duty Amber Heard took in the bed.

It was wandered around the world.

Yep.

And it was a duty.

That's what I'll say.

It was dutilicious.

And

I'm officially, after this story, I'm Chinaing this couple.

Unless it's like the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering.

I'm not interested in them going tit-for-tat about what happened in their marriage.

Like they both, I just, it's so messy.

And this is taking it to a whole other

deplorable level.

Yeah, I completely agree.

This poor assistant who's just trying to like make a living and now she's out, you know, sitting in court in front of the press talking about like one of the most horrible moments of her life.

Like the story just keeps getting worse and worse.

And with your permission, I'd like to formally,

Johnny Depp Amber Heard, you have been chinaed.

You are no longer going to be spoken about on the show unless extenuating circumstances, like something crazy happens.

But after seeing the picture of the duty and like not to be so graphic, where did you?

Oh, how did you

at Duty Lane?

I wound up on duty.com, courtesy of Barstool Sports.

Like, they obviously ran a picture of it, and I clicked on it because I followed them on Twitter.

And I was just like,

what does a human duty look like out of a toilet bowl?

I don't know.

I've never made one out of a toilet.

It would look different.

Yeah, because the water.

You didn't get broken up by the water.

No, that's not why.

And the water can also like erode.

I think the water.

I, just based on what I saw, oh man, I'm like actually getting a gag because now I'm just like remembering the picture.

I forgot about it.

When it hits the bowl, it could break.

No, but because the water keeps it solid, it keeps it afloat.

The water is very helpful in keeping it solid.

Whereas when I saw it on the bed sheet, maybe it has been sitting there for a long time, it had started to melt.

Sorry, it's true.

Don't look it up.

I'll just paint a picture.

Okay, the sheets were white.

The duty was brown.

Oh my God, I'm not okay.

And honestly, it just made me want to sing.

In the toilet, out in the sewer, into all that gross manure.

See the toilet spinning round.

Then I put the lid back down.

My duty brown, my duty brown, my duty brown, my duty brown.

I don't remember the rest of the lyrics.

You know what?

Since it's like a dutylicious week,

next episode of the Redheads, I will have Dana saying my duty Brown.

Oh my god, I did not know where you were going with that sentence.

Since this has been a dutylicious episode, I think we're gonna say, I took a massive dump yesterday.

Then you were like, the episode of the Redheads.

Well, because that's Dana's song.

It's a Dana original song.

Dana, who is a co-host on The Redheads, one of Jackie's friends from college.

Her and her cousin made up this weird song when they were kids.

Yeah, it's honestly fabulous.

She's sung it on the show before.

But now that she is part of her own podcast, I think it's time that she graced us.

Yeah, I think maybe you should also have her film it.

For sure.

Okay, we'll do.

So yes, back to the story.

Unfortunately, I will no longer be able to give a comment due to legal restrictions on the china-ing of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.

They're both just honestly disgraceful.

Okay, great.

Next story, some happy news.

Pregnant Gigi Hadid reveals the first glimpse of her baby bump.

Yes.

Gigi Hadid had fans in a state of excitement when she showed off her growing baby belly on an Instagram live this Wednesday.

The model unbuttoned her flowing pajama top and turned to the side so that fans could see.

She's not hiding her stomach as some had previously suggested.

Like it's

so fucking annoying.

It's just from the front, it looks different, she said.

She went on to acknowledge that some people are confused by her decision not to post or discuss her pregnancy, but she said that because she believes it's not the most important thing going on in the world.

Oh, also, it's like, what are you confused about?

A mother wanting to protect her unborn child from like the hatred of social media?

I don't see anything wrong with that.

I'm, I'm confused by a lot of things.

I'm not confused by a pregnant woman not wanting to share her journey on social media.

People are just so evil.

Like, yeah, that's literally, it makes so much sense to me.

No, it makes a ton of sense to me.

But I guess if people were confused, hopefully they're no longer confused.

Also, someone pointed something out on in like one of our Instagram comments sections yesterday that kind of blew my mind and I never really put the two together.

It's just interesting how Sophie Turner and Gigi Hadid are pregnant at the same time when they are so inextricably linked via Joe Jonas.

Isn't that just an interesting timing?

Inextricably.

Yeah, no, I hadn't put that together.

That is crazy.

And remember when, remember when they were at at the most recent VMAs or the MTV awards, and Sophie and Joe were there together.

And Gigi was like rumored to be dating Tyler C, but she

went with Bella.

And they were sitting all in the celebrity section.

And I guess that not that many celebrities could make it.

So they were very close to each other.

And it's like, Joe is with the Queen of the New York News.

Yes, I remember.

That's where Taylor Swift performed, right?

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Joe was with the Queen of the North.

Gigi is like dating a bachelor contestant.

Stop!

Thank you.

Yes, I mean, we talk about this all the time.

And so, but now it's like he's with the Queen of the North, but she's with

one direction.

No, it's equal.

But for Gigi Hadid, like, she was always going to make it out of that relationship fine.

For the Joe Jonas element, it was like he was this.

It could have gone either way.

They were dating during the DNCE year, so it wasn't like he was this like major, major mega star that he is now.

He was super famous, but I think a lot of people were like, damn, he got Gigi Hadid.

Like, that's good for him.

And when she bounced and went back to Zane, like, it was, you know, it was devastating.

And we're like, damn, Joe Jonas back, put in his place.

But he ended up, we always say, like, it's crazy because when you date GGID, like, you can't ever date someone on the same level.

But Joe Jonas managed to find literally, like, someone so fucking perfect and fabulous that like, it's just as good.

It's better.

It's, yeah, not to compare.

No, not to compare, but like the love, the have, they're having a kid, like, that's perfect.

Yeah, no, it's, it's really beautiful.

Um, I love seeing the photos of them stepping out.

She's bumping.

A lot of celebrities are bumping right now.

Yes, it's honestly like, not that they could have planned it, but this is a a good time to be like in your third trimester because you can't really leave the house and you know, you don't want to have FOMO if it's like the world's going on around you.

It's not a terrible time to be pregnant.

No, I don't think so.

It's not an ideal time, or it wasn't maybe like a few months ago when the hospitals were so overcrowded.

It was not an ideal time to be giving birth because you know, there's a pandemic, you don't necessarily like want to be at a hospital epicenter, and then there was like a limited amount of beds.

Like, it was kind of crazy for a minute, but it's not a bad time to be pregnant.

I agree.

Um, okay, next story: Really crazy.

If just the headline will load, here it is.

Haley Bieber apologizes to a restaurant hostess who claimed that she was not nice.

Haley Bieber took to TikTok to apologize to a restaurant hostess who claimed the model was not nice.

So days ago, Julia Caroline took to TikTok to rate celebrities who she previously met while working as a hostess in a fancy Manhattan restaurant.

By the way, I love these TikToks.

It's like a tread now and it's my favorite thing.

In her video, Julia gave Gigi Hadid and Bella Hadid a rating of 10 out of 10 and and said they were so nice and were super polite and friendly with staff, which, as Julia noted, is rare for celebrities.

After rating Cameron Dallas a 4 out of 10 for her encounter with the social media star, Julia then shared her experience with Haley.

Quote, this is going to be controversial.

I've met her a handful of times and every time she was not nice.

I really want to like her, but I have to give her like a 3.5 out of 10.

Damn.

In response, Haley took to TikTok to offer a sincere apology.

She wrote in the comments, just came across this video and wanted to say, so sorry if I've ever given you bad vibes or a bad attitude.

That's not ever my intention.

You know,

this is kind of big of Haley Bieber because, you know, these types of videos come out all the time.

Like, it comes and goes.

It wouldn't have become like a major news story.

Like, honestly, Haley commenting on it makes it mainstream news.

I would not have seen it.

I wouldn't have seen a TikTok.

She also said, hate hearing that that was your experience with me, but glad you called me out so I can do better.

Hopefully we meet again so I can apologize in person.

Wow.

I mean, that's really...

And that makes me think like she's not an asshole, like in real life.

Because she didn't need to comment on it, even though her and Justin are always commenting on like low-level Instagram posts, like theories, etc.

I think they're bored.

I think it takes a big person to admit that you were a shit and that you're going to try and do better and that you're sorry.

When it would have been much easier for her to ignore it and less people would have even heard about this story.

And I think that's like what a real diva would have done.

Right.

No, I actually, I really am like, I respect this hardcore.

I just feel like the way, whether it's like a celebrity or just like friends, like, I always find like, if you're at a restaurant and you are with someone who it's like, it's like embarrassing for like you to be associated with them, like the way they speak to the staff, like that is just that is the lowest, in my opinion, like the lowest level of humanity.

Yeah, in this book, I just read, um,

there's like a good quote that I highlighted where it's like, you can tell pretty much everything you need to know about a person from the way they treat

weight staff.

So true.

Kind of like went into it a little bit more.

Um, just how that's like

a true tell.

No, of humanity.

I couldn't agree more.

Like, I actually remember I had this friend in college.

Like, I literally saw her do like the most disrespectful thing, and like, I actually didn't talk to her after that.

Like, it was just like

we were at the desk at our dorm getting packages, and you had to sign for your package.

So, she took the pen and like didn't say thank you or anything to like the person working behind the desk.

And she took the pen and she signed, and then, like, literally threw the pen back in the person's face.

Like, it was just such a, it was so fucking rude, and it honestly shook me to my core so hard that I really like never spoke to her again after that.

It's a true telling of like a person's insides.

Wow.

Yeah, it really is.

So.

But I commend Taylor.

Obviously, I don't commend her for being a bitch at first, but I commend her for like owning up to it when like she could have let it slide.

100%.

Therefore making it a bigger story with her acknowledging it.

Yes.

Fifth and final story, a little tech news.

Ooh, let me get my AirPods in.

Ooh.

Major Twitter accounts were hacked in a cryptocurrency scam yesterday.

Like the accounts of Joe Biden, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Kanye West, Barack Obama, and more sent out tweets that seem to be associated with cryptocurrency scam on Wednesday.

So I'm not sure if you saw this.

Well, so wait, I saw it on Elon Musk's Twitter, and I'm like, you know what?

I didn't even think it was weird.

I'm like, not from him.

Yeah, no, so I'm like, oh, cool, he's into Bitcoin now.

So I guess some hackers hacked these major celebrities, public figures, Twitter accounts, and like were able to get like $100,000 in cryptocurrency.

Oh, they they stole from people?

I guess so.

It's really confusing.

But then, also, like, Twitter was having a hard time getting a handle on it.

And so they deactivated or made it so that all

verified accounts couldn't tweet.

Yeah, they didn't deactivate, but they blocked all verified accounts from tweeting, which, you know, we are verified.

So we were directly impacted by this.

Oh, I didn't even check.

I didn't even try to tweet, but I just figured that I was directly impacted by all of them.

They said, we are aware of a security incident impacting accounts on Twitter.

We are investigating and taking steps to fix it.

We will update everyone shortly.

Many verified accounts were blocked from tweeting for a portion of the day as Twitter looked into the incident.

About three hours later, their support account said that most accounts should be able to tweet again, quote, as we continue working on a fix, this functionality may come and go.

And it was just a tough day for them at Twitter, said Jack Dorsey.

I mean, that makes me so sad for the people who like thought that they were going to get $2,000 in Bitcoin if they sent Elon Musk a thousand.

That was the thing.

It's like, send me a thousand Bitcoin and I'll send you $2,000 back.

Oh my God.

That makes me so sad.

That means that, I mean, if it's $100,000, that means only 100 people got played, which isn't terrible, but it's still like those people lost $1,000.

That's so sad when they were just trying to like make some Bitcoin money.

Hopefully they'll be able to

send it back or figure it out, find the hackers.

And also, I had seen an article that the hack, they were able to hack it through like the employee side of Twitter.

Huh.

So.

Interestant.

Might want to tighten that up.

Truly.

Well, you know, another day, another security breach.

That's life here in America.

Now, next up, we've got one of my favorite segments about our girl Kelly Rippa.

It's a little.

Kelly's Mindless News.

Like the 4th of July.

I also don't think that we should record that sound because singing it brings a pep

joy.

Yeah, no, it's good for my mental health to keep singing it.

It's like when we sing.

I don't want to start singing it because I won't be able to stop, but S on the T.

Oh, or Snitch on the T.

Or also, Kungy Angel Dora.

Oh, oh my god, don't even start.

We have so many annoying songs.

I'm surprised people still listen to the show.

But when I listen to S on the T, because we have a button for it, it's the fucking taste.

You break it out.

Snitch on the toast.

You can find me in the club.

Snitch on the toast.

Well, today's episode of Kelly's Mindless News.

I mean, today's segment of Kelly's Mindless News is brought to you by, honestly, Entertainment Tonight, which is a little disappointing.

Kelly Rippa jokes, she's on an audience.

And what level of mindlessness is it?

So let's say.

Well, so there's varying degrees of mindlessness, but then there's...

types of articles that open us up to a possible conspiracy theory about Kelly Rippa.

This is not.

This is just dumb news.

Okay, because I just want to say, like, I think we should create a scale.

What you shared the other day about the home

was a 10 out of 10 off-the-charts mindless conspiracy story.

When we get Kelly Rippa is wearing a swimsuit cover-up, I'm going to give that a 3-4 of mindless conspiracy.

This is a 3-4.

Okay.

Kelly Rippa jokes she's on an all-carbohydrate diet in quarantine.

That's so original, Kelly.

Kelly Rippa's diet has changed amid quarantine.

The 49-year-old morning show host appeared on Jimmy Kim Alive Wednesday alongside Ryan Seacrest and told guest host Sebastian Maniscalco how being cooped up inside has affected what she eats.

I eat solid food.

I am not on an all-liquid diet.

I'm on an all-carbohydrate diet, Ripa joked.

That's what changed during the pandemic.

You know what?

I actually,

what's annoying here is that this is news, but I really actually can relate to that.

I have been on a full carbohydrate diet since the beginning of quarantine because it's like what's easiest to cook and what's most accessible.

So I weirdly can relate to Kelly on this one.

It's just like no one was writing up the fact that I think I legit said this three months ago.

And I also feel like we're as a society, we're like evolved a little past like writing up female celebrities' diets.

You know what I mean?

I would hope so.

Yeah, it's just like, you remember when we used to be like obsessed with those tabloid magazines like at the airport?

And then like the last page would be like, Chloe Kardashian, what I eat in a day?

And it's just like, I think they still do that.

I think they do too.

I just feel like societally, like, we may have have evolved past the need for those.

I don't know, but I feel like now there's YouTube videos, what I eat in a day.

Right.

And it is kind of interesting.

And I think for people who eat healthy or who cook interesting things.

What are you trying to say?

What are you trying to say?

No, but like, it could be inspiring.

I don't think it's all bad, but I think it's harping on a woman's diet is strange.

I think Jamilo Jamil, that might be her next target.

The what I eat in a days.

Yeah.

But sometimes it's interesting.

You know, I do like to see what people eat in January.

Yeah.

All right, that was Kelly's Mindless News.

And now we're going to dive into the TV recap segment because we're going to talk about Real Housewives Beverly Hills, which was the most glamorous, fabulous, amazing episode.

It was

stellar.

I need to talk about two things quickly before anything else.

Dorit Kemsley's look.

Dress.

Sickening.

I don't have the word.

Gagging.

I don't have the words to describe what that look did for me.

From the dress to the foch to the hair, she had little sparkles in her hair too.

She's literally was the walking embodiment of the True Jackson VP theme song.

From her head to her toes, it's all real and you know, fresh and cool.

That's just what she does.

D-R-U-I-What is spelling.

D-D-O-R-I-T-K-E-M-S-L-C-T-Y.

Um, I could, I was, I have, I still have no words.

My jaw hit the floor watching her walk around all evening.

Like I could not get enough.

Grace.

It was one of the best.

Elegant.

All of her looks always are top-notch.

Even her little flip Brivan campaign fucking loved it.

This was

on another level, astronomical, insane, like never been done before, never to be repeated, put in a blender.

Throw it up, give birth to it, put it in a blender.

If nothing else happened that episode, like just being in her presence was gratifying.

See, before we go to bed every night, we have to get on our knees and pray for PK's business because whatever their lifestyle is, it must be maintained.

And we've been led to believe that it might not all be so, you know, happy and good and lovey and they might not be having some financial problems.

And I can't handle that because I need to read to keep serving this level of Luke.

No, I completely agree.

I agree.

We need to pray that...

that it's all kosher over there and I'm not going to see them on an episode of American Greed and her in that newsboy cap.

Exactly.

Okay, second thing I need to talk about, Chris Jenner.

Chris Jenner being so philanthropic.

Chris Jenner being so philanthropic, seeing Chris Jenner on a reality show that isn't her own show,

it's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.

It's that, and it's also like seeing a teacher out of school, but also

there was something so elevated.

And like, when she walked into the room, I'm like, oh my god, Chris Jenner's at this party.

But it's like, no, I know Chris Jenner.

I watch her on my TV all the time.

But like seeing her through the eyes of the real housewives of Beverly Hills, I'm like, Chris Jenner is like

a superstar.

And she wasn't acting above it.

She sat in the front with all the ladies.

She didn't do anything to make her seem like she was above or not down for any of it.

But just seeing her on this show and being like, oh my god, that's Chris Jenner.

Like her daughters are the most famous women in the entire world.

She has given birth to not one, but two billionaires.

Like, oh, and she gets tempered.

Like, I, it was so weird for me to see her through a different lens.

Yeah, no, it was, she, like, I almost didn't recognize her.

I, I, I was starstruck.

Even though we see her on TV once a week and she's always making a fool of herself.

No, I know.

To see her, like, to see the way Doreen looks at her, you know, it was just, it was a new sensation.

It was fabulous.

Also,

an old sensation was, you know, the ghost of Housewives Past.

We had Adrian Malouf, Eileen Davidson.

I fucking love her.

She looked amazing.

Snatched.

I loved Bruna Hare.

I just, I love everything about her.

And I love the friendship between her, Lisa, and Erica Jane, like them in the car together is everything.

Brandy was there.

Camille Graham was there, who allegedly came to like make amends with everyone, even though it appeared as though she had no interest in making amends with anyone.

Yeah, you know what?

So she came, like, she obviously had her tail between her legs to a point.

She was willing to eat a little.

A little bit of Amber Heard's duty, but not the whole thing.

She was willing to eat some shit, I feel.

But when someone comes up to you and says, you're an asshole, you know what?

She's still Camille Grammer.

Yes.

And she's not going to take that lightly.

And so I actually appreciated,

not necessarily appreciated.

I respected the fact that she wasn't just going to let these girls pile on her

and negate everything that she said last season.

And I don't even remember what went down and I definitely wasn't on her side.

But if you're gonna take a stance like she did,

stick with it.

So I actually, I appreciate her apologizing for the things that she was sorry for and not apologizing for the things that she wasn't.

Right.

I do love seeing Brandon Glanville back on the Real House Highways of Beverly Hills.

And I thought it was interesting why Kyle like explained why she invited her because last we left it, they like weren't on good terms.

But Kyle just said, I think like Brandy's really misunderstood.

And they played that video of her crying that she like doesn't have a perfect husband and perfect family with like her kids 100% of the time.

And like, she struggles with that.

And I don't know, I always, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Brandon Glenville because I've always felt that she was deeply misunderstood.

Yeah, I always loved her when she was on the show.

The friendship between her and Lisa Vanner Pump, like, was the braggis was similar to Bethany and Gil.

And I actually, I took Brandy's side.

I remember I read her books.

Yeah.

I used, I loved her when she was on the show.

I think she would still be a great addition to the cast.

Especially now with the other element, which is an alleged affair with Denise.

Yeah, and also the reason why she went off the show pretty much is because of her fight with Lisa.

And then she like hit Lisa in the face and Lisa just would never forgive her and she couldn't get back into the group.

But now that Lisa's gone, like I actually think Brandy is a quality housewife and I love seeing her.

And she's so bubbly and fun.

And she also is not afraid to go there.

And I do ship her and Denise.

I'm not going to lie.

Like when they give a hug, I'm like, that is a beautiful couple.

I know.

So it was great to see Brandy.

And I might, I don't know if I necessarily yet walk back what I said about Kyle inviting all the women so she could invite Brandy.

No, it seemed like it was really like she pulled out all the stops for this event.

Yeah.

Like she wanted the most rich people in one room.

And I just want to say the event was spectacular.

Sometimes with these house-wise events, it's like clearly it's just a set for filming.

Orange County Fashion Week.

But this was a real soiree.

And I loved what she said when she was like, I spent six figures on this event.

And if I don't raise $200,000, then I'm going to feel like I should have just donated this money, which is how I feel about these big characters functions all the time.

Well, between Chris Jenner and Garcel, she paid $5,000 for that trip to Mexico.

They already made 30K, so I feel like the event was definitely a success.

Yes, but she's saying she spent over $100,000.

Yeah, but no.

But then they told us later that they raised $300,000.

Oh, I didn't see that.

So they netted positive, but

it was interesting just for, I was glad that she said that because I feel like that's how a lot of people feel about galas.

Galas and charity functions.

I have three things I want to say.

One, I think the most important moment of the episode was when they brought in that real-life life auctioneer who for true TV stands know that that is the auctioneer from Storage Wars, okay?

Dan and his wife.

I love Storage Wars.

I think about Storage Wars all the time.

You know, he has gained a little bit of weight.

So at first I didn't recognize him, but she said Don Watson.

I'm like, that is the guy.

I know it.

And I googled it and it was him.

Wow.

Second thing is Garcelle's man was just everything of the sort.

And I love how all the women were like truly taking like he had this presence and like when Dari went to give him a hug like I think she fell in love a little bit and I just love Garcelle and I'm glad that she finally showed up to a group function.

And the third thing I want to say was the conversation between Aaron and PK was so funny.

Like, PK was just trying so hard to get through to Aaron, and Aaron wanted abs.

He was like, Yeah, no, I agree.

Yeah, okay, thanks.

Bye.

Aaron is just so stubborn.

It's really annoying because, other than that, like, other than what's going on between him and the women, which is a lot, it's pretty much the whole storyline right now.

But aside from that, he seems like a really great husband partner.

And I like them together.

And I like them together a lot.

And so, I just, and I just feel like he needs to look at PK and be like, if PK can come back, if I'm saying, like, I love pk right now if he can come back from where he was

calling liserena schizophrenic aaron is fine and but he needs to be like open to

just backing down and hearing what someone else has to say and just apologizing and moving on because it is becoming bigger and bigger and bigger um also i just there were so many positives about the episode but i do have to you know highlight one episode which was liserena's wig

in at the party yeah in her white tuxedo i just it wasn't the look for me it wasn't for you no it was misshapen and it really looked like a wig, which it was, but interesting.

And, you know, the Beverly Hills Zoom confessionals aren't terrible.

No, they're not.

I felt bad for Camille, though, because she finally, like, got back on the show, and then she had to do a Zoom confessional.

And just the acoustics in her house, like, everything that she was saying kind of sounded derange.

Oh, also, this woman, Kimber, that came with.

Okay.

Everyone knew her.

No, no, you don't remember her?

No.

Anytime Camille has been on the scene since season one, like, Kimber is right there next to her.

Really?

When Kyle went to her house, I thought, at first, I thought Kimber was Yolanda.

Oh, my God, that would have been iconic.

I was so excited, but it was not.

But no, Kimber is just always with Camille.

Oh, interesting.

I literally, she's so not memorable to me.

But I was like, how do all these women know her?

No, she's been, like, go to season one, she's there.

Also, there was just so many honestly iconic moments, like the reunion of Adrian and Paul Nassif.

Like, that was beautiful.

It was really weird to see, honestly.

And when they did.

And Adrian has a new thoughtch.

Adrian has a new foch.

She looks so different.

She looks so different.

You know, I'm all for plastic surgery, but at some point, like, you, you do have to stop.

And I think Adrian Malouf reached that point like five years ago.

Yeah, but I love Paul Nassif.

Me too.

And I'm so happy for him.

And I think he was so miserable in his marriage and on the Real House size of the Beverly Hills that part of the reason why we love him so much is because he has this whole new like zest and appreciation for life.

He has a whole new life.

He has a new face.

He has a new face too.

He has a new job, a new friend, new

wife.

It's all coming up roses for Paul Nassif.

And I actually do love to see it.

It's a real, you know, American dream.

Yes.

Paul Nassif.

Yes.

Kim Richards was in attendance, and she looked adorable.

You know, she's so sweet.

Like, I, she too, she's not a great housewife and not really a great television character, but I do have a spot for her, a little corner for her in my heart.

Yes, I agree.

She's lovely.

And so the auction items looked spectacular.

Why weren't they people bidding?

I think they were, but you know, like, it's hard to capture like the essence of an auction on TV.

Yeah.

Well, but the party was sickening.

Of course, Kyle had her OG party planner, Glenn, um, and Mauricio, like, trying to figure out the pool.

I love Mauricio.

He's also one of my favorite house husbands.

Yes.

It was just a great episode.

It was a great episode.

I love that Kyle did invite so many of the former castmates because it was really great to see them.

And I hate when the episode breaks up in the middle of an event, like, we have to watch the second half next week.

That's really annoying.

But it was, they brought out all the stops for us.

I can't remember the last time we had like that level of glass.

Glamour, elegance, money, rich, everything.

Yes.

So

I really liked it.

So we say thank you, Rob.

We say thank you.

We say thank you to Dore

for

that look.

Kyle for the party and the fabulous guest list.

Yes.

And Chris Jenner for her philanthropic work and just being like the icon that she is.

And showing up.

That was the philanthropy was showing up to an episode of Real House Hunts for sure.

And then just, you know, donating out of the goodness of her heart.

Yeah, that was crazy.

She just

lifted her little stick.

25,000.

Fabulous.

I love her her so much well that is our tv recap and if there's not anything else i think i'm gonna wrap this baby up do it thank you guys so much for listening to the morning toast the millennium morning show where we uh post videos on youtube monday through friday we're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found so that's spotify iTunes stitcher public radio iha radio cast box our video our podcast episodes are available on Spotify and now our video episodes are available there too.

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And wherever you listen to podcasts, find us the Morning Toast and leave a five-star view about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

We hope you guys have an amazing day.

And we will see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Bye.