S3 Ep114: Ms. Frizzle Appreciation Episode: Friday, June 26, 2020

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Friday.

Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Hope everyone is having a fabulous TGIF.

I'm thrilled that it's Friday.

I'm thrilled that T-H-E-O is here.

On T-G-I-F, it's only appropriate.

He's in position for the show.

The other day he was out of frame, and so everyone just gets the blessing that is T-H-E-O.

Do to do to THEIR.

Theodora.

Doot to do to Theodora.

Oh, do to do to Theodora.

Crunchy angel, Dora.

Perfect chem in Dora.

Wonderful angel Dora.

I love him, Dora.

Light of my life, Dora.

Perfect fatch, Dora.

Apple of my eye, Dora.

Apple of my eye too, Dora.

Peanut butter to my jelly, Dora.

Precious lovey, Dora.

We're so glad to have a special guest here today.

That is Theo.

He is going to help us deliver a fabulous show for you guys because there's so much going on.

There's still no TV recap, but that's not going to stop us from just being fabulous for like 45 minutes.

It will not stop us.

Our episodes have been so short, and it's like no, it's not our fault.

It's just because there's like nothing going on in the world, but I find myself being like very, very,

very, very wordy.

Oh, okay.

Just so like I add time to the show.

It's like I'm writing a paper.

I feel the need to be extraordinarily verbose.

Yes.

And there's no television recapsule at the end of each episode of The Morning Toast.

And like the news lately hasn't been like super salacious, you know?

It's just been like kind of sad.

Yeah, I agree.

So we're doing our best to stretch these bitches out as much as we can.

Just know that we are aware of the problem and we are working on it.

Also, speaking of just lengthy episodes, we posted another Patreon episode yesterday, part two of general Q ⁇ A and part two of being honest, raw, real, and organic.

That's what happens behind the paywall.

You know, like shit, we're getting naked.

Right.

So if you just like want to hear from us, hear what we're up to, how we're feeling, head to patreon.com slash the morning toast.

That is our fourth episode of the month.

If you're not aware, Patreon is our subscription service for $7.99 a month.

You get five extra episodes from us.

They're always a little bit more behind the scenes, things we don't share on the toast.

But their podcasts, their vlogs, they seem to be really well liked.

So

I highly recommend to the patrons, just let me know your thoughts on that chili cook-off.

I'm still waiting for the masses to let me know.

We're marinating on this idea for our final episode of the month, and Jackie has a great idea to vlog the great chili cook-off between me and Ben.

I will be the judge, obviously.

And I think I'll do it because I want to cook a chili.

Like, everyone loves the vlogs so much, and I want to taste what Ben might be cooking up in the kitchen.

Ben, like, I don't want to blow my husband's spot up, and I'm so grateful that he doesn't doesn't watch this show because I'm about to say something that would really hurt his feelings.

I think I know what it's going to be and I think it needs to be said.

Yeah, Ben

probably cooks the most in our family.

His dad is a chef and he's just always had this kind of desire to be like culinary and because we don't cook that much in my house, I never really thought much of it.

But in quarantine, we've been cooking so much and

I kind of want to say like Ben is a terrible cook.

Damn.

Like letter rips.

And I don't know if it's just like he cooks things I would never eat like eggs and salami.

Yes.

But it just never looks very good.

And when he does make things that I like, like not to be like such a bitch, but it's like not good.

Okay, so like what are some of the things?

I feel like you guys are always making tacos and the meat is just never right.

Okay, well, when we make tacos, I make it.

And I made it last night and it was fucking delicious.

No, but like you guys are always having like a meat problem.

Well, we are going through an issue where it's like with quarantine, we've been loading up on kosher meat, and like every time I take grilled chicken out of the freezer and defrost it, like it's disgusting.

Like it's like raw.

I just don't understand like the whole defrosting thing.

I didn't understand the whole defrosting thing.

I was like, I'll just put it in the stove.

Like, it'll cook.

No.

And I learned today when I tried to cook a frosted, thank God it was a beyond meat burger because it didn't matter that I ate it raw because it's not real meat.

But then I understood the power of defrosting.

And a lot of times with cooking, what I've learned is like you need to learn the lessons the hard way.

It's not enough for someone to tell you like meat must be defrosted for three days.

You need to experience it.

Three days?

No.

Yeah.

You put it in the fridge for three days.

Maybe that's why you got a defrosting problem.

No, I take it it out in the morning and I leave it in the sink to defrost.

Yeah, okay.

You're weird.

Oh, I put it in the kitchen.

I can't even do it.

You can't leave the fridge.

You can't leave raw meat unfrozen in the fridge for three days.

They have like a 48-hour.

No, I do like two days in the fridge and it works for me.

Okay, well, all I'm trying to say is my husband's like not that great of a cook and that's what quarantine has opened my eyes to.

But I think he's just like riding his dad's coattails, you know, because his dad's a fabulous chef and Ben's just not.

But I appreciate he has so much passion for the craft that

it almost helps the food taste better.

THEO has perked up a little bit because like he hears you talking shit about his dad.

But I also think that THEO has gotten that culinary bug a little bit.

No, at all.

And I think he's going to be a master chef.

You know what?

Being a dog is so great because you literally get the same dry piece of shit twice a day and like you're so excited about it.

Yeah.

Well, we don't know like how he actually feels about it.

No, no, he like leaps from the bed, can't wait, like licking my leg until I put the food down.

Like it is the best part of his day and he's actually eating like garbage.

He's such a leg licker, and I think it's because he loves the taste of tan luxe.

Like, when I.

I don't have tan lux on my legs.

I have tan luxe on my legs today, and he, I can't keep him away from him.

Well, you're just simply irresistible.

He's having Royal Canaan with a side of tan lux.

Royal Canaan with a sane.

Royal Canaan, Jackie.

Canaan.

Canaan.

You're making it like the biblical place, Canaan.

No.

Royal Canaan.

Royal Canaan.

So we have a fabulous show.

We do.

Anything else you want to tell the class before we just like take a dive off the deep end?

No, I feel as though this has been a great week.

I'm just to like recap it.

I'm so excited to be back in studio.

So excited people are watching on YouTube again.

And I'm just looking forward to the continued journey.

I am so happy to be back on in the studio.

I literally like, I didn't realize how much I needed that routine in my life until it was taken away from me.

And I'm just so excited like to keep decorating our space.

Literally, I'm having such a fucking problem.

I'm shouting out DHL and they're just terrible customer service like i have this fabulous mural coming for the back and they just like decided they didn't want to deliver it and then they sent it back i'm like are you kidding it's just like so much drama with the postal system so dhl you're on my list um but i'm just really excited for it to come together and i'm so happy everyone's watching and just you know we're pretty bare bones but we'll get there we'll get there yeah we always do so i think without further ado it is time for the fast five stories that theo needs to know before he wakes up and take a bite out of his morning bone

and that's true but as you remember, we are going to be highlighting once a week a black-owned business that we love or that we've discovered or that someone has suggested to us.

And I'm really excited about this one because I had a fabulous toaster reach out who works with a bunch of black-owned businesses and she suggested a ton of them.

And today's episode is Naked Perfection Spa.

Founded by Courtney Gale and located in Brooklyn, Naked Perfection Spa provides treatments to clients of all skin types, striving to build confidence in everyone by enhancing the beauty of their individual appearance one person at a time.

Courtney is a New York State licensed esthetician and aesthetics instructor, but she didn't start out in this illustrious industry right out of school.

She was a young Brooklyn girl who grew up with her mom and siblings and moved around quite a bit.

She worked in retail many, many years on Fifth Avenue and decided that she wasn't making a big enough impact on people.

She liked makeup, but it was too superficial to fall in love with.

Courtney wanted to tap into a skill set that could change someone's confidence for the long term and positively so.

Courtney maxed out on what she could do as far as credentials and studies and started Naked Perfection Spa.

She didn't have the world behind her and she didn't start with loans and funding because she started,

but she started because she had a set of skills that she said could help people Courtney became an aesthetics instructor a few years after she opened her own studio in New York she decided to teach because the knowledge she had to give young men and women as far was far beyond what the authors of a textbook could write.

Courtney's experiences weren't science, but her willpower and resiliency was not something you could buy nor train, and her faith is what brought her this far.

No matter how many time people have tried to tear her down and said she could never do this or that, she started and is still going years farther than they'd ever imagined.

Courtney built confidence from the inside out with her education and her hands, her students, and her clients from all demographics and walks of life, one person at a time.

Naked Perfection Spa is located in Brooklyn and will be reopening for all services between phases three and four.

Fabulous.

Fabulous.

This includes facials, body treatments, peels, even eyelash extension.

To learn more about Naked Perfection Spa and receive $10 off the entire site, visit nakedperfectionspa.com and use the code Toasty10.

So that's T-O-A-S-T-Y-10,

T-O-A-S-T-Y10.

To shop products or book your post-quarantine spa treatment, again, that's nakedperfection spa.com.

Check it out.

Wow, I will be booking my post-quarantine spa treatment.

I've never been so excited for anything.

For a facial, oh my God.

Wow, that sounds like fabulous.

Cameron.

Fabulous.

That is a simple request.

Whole thing.

Fabulous.

Bigger and better and best.

Okay, right.

I like how we both knew like that was the line to stop saying that.

Yeah.

Well, sometimes I do a really good job at cheating it where it's like, I could continue if it was a continuation or I could be stopped.

You read the room.

I read the room.

Good to know.

Okay, are you ready for our first story?

It's such exciting news.

We are on our ship.

We have been for a while.

This is Emma Roberts.

There is a new Bebet on the ship because Emma Roberts is pregnant, expecting her first child with boyfriend, Garrett Hedlund.

I mean, of all the girls in all the world to end up with like the man of my dreams from some of literally my favorite movies.

In case you're not unfamiliar, Garrett Hedlund played

in Country Strong.

He was the lead male role.

I'm sorry, I forget his name.

And then he also was in Georgia Rule, where he was like that iconic college student who Lindsey Lowen gave a blowjob to on the rowboat in the middle of the lake.

It was just so iconic, and I absolutely love Garrett Headlund, and I love these two together.

I love these two together, and also, I feel strongly about Garrett Headland, but I also feel like of all the women in the world, I'm sorry, of all the men in the world to secure Emma Roberts, he's like, literally, in my opinion, one of the most eligible bachelorettes in the world.

Like, I truly adore adore her.

So I'm so happy for her, for them.

And I'm also happy for me because I feel like at one point there was like a breakup rumor between the two of them.

And now, like, this confirms to me that they are together.

They are having a future together.

And they're not thirsty or anything.

They're actually so private, it's been confusing over the last few years to know what their actual status was.

And this is just a fabulous life update.

You know, babies being brought into the world by two absolutely stunning people.

You just love to see it.

You do.

You do.

And this really is a quarantine Bebbet.

I mean, I don't know exactly how far along she is.

Us weekly does not have that level of detail by the way this was a major scoop for us weekly they were the first people that got it us weekly is being like super scoopy these days what was the other thing they had i forget yeah but we were talking about it yeah whatever i don't know i feel like there was two things that they had recently um and good for them Love to see it.

Congratulations, Us Weekly, on this scoopy scoop.

You're really giving TMZ any news like a run for your money.

You are.

I'm proud.

I'm proud.

I know there are a lot of toasters actually who work at Us Weekly.

So I see you and we're proud of you.

I really like Us Weekly.

Like, I know we said on the the show like we have a lot of respect for people magazine before yes which we do completely but like us weekly is right up there for me i agree under like all the tabloid trash it goes people magazine at the top and then right there us weekly and with scoops like this they're really making their way onto a real contender for people magazine yeah they really are in terms of airport magazines right um thank you for the scoop congratulations to the happy couple and i look forward to continuing on this journey.

I actually look forward to like seeing Emma Roberts be the most beautiful pregnant woman.

Like she's just so stunning and stylish already.

Right.

And she gets invited to the most fabulous events.

She was just like started her career as Hollywood royalty and she was just like invited fabulous places.

Though she was unfabulous.

True.

From the start.

So like this baby's going to be even more fabulous.

This is going to be Julia Roberts

great niece.

Yeah.

At that point, like there's no real word for like the connection between Julia Roberts and the Babbitt.

Like in terms of lineage, like oh really?

It's not great niece?

I don't know.

That's not a thing.

I think it is.

It's not really a thing.

So,

anyways.

I think it is.

Congratulations to the whole family.

Congratulations.

I'm so happy.

I just, I love them.

It's like, do you know who your great aunt is?

Actually, yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah.

So, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, great aunt is a thing, but great niece is not.

Thank you.

I feel that.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay, next story is also some exciting casting news that's really just taking the world by storm.

Elizabeth Banks has been cast as Miss Frizzle in the Magic School Bucks live-action film.

That is

the most perfect casting if I've ever seen it.

100%.

To the bus, the first live-action

Magic School Bus feature film is on its way with Elizabeth Bith Banks set to star as the quirky and adventurous science teacher, Miss Valerie Frizzle, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

The word quirky was invented to describe Miss Frizzle and then Emma Stone.

Yeah, she's so quirky.

Quite quirky.

That also would have been a good casting, actually.

But Elizabeth Banks.

Sir, quirky.

Also, not to be like ageist or anything, but Miss Fizzle is like more of an adult.

And I think of Elizabeth Banks as, I don't even know if it's true, I just think of her as an older woman than Emma Stone.

Yeah, Miss Frizzle is actually the ultimate counselor.

Yes.

And so I know that Counselor Snitch will be right there in mind to get a ticket.

Honestly, she is the ultimate counselor, but like I would be calling like the

AAC, the American Association of Camps, because she was very irresponsible, like taking those kids on a flying deep.

ACA.

ACA, American Camp Association.

Yeah, I know, but like she always got them home safely and she knew what she was doing.

But they weren't wearing seatbelts or anything.

I don't know.

It was kind of like a hazard.

I know.

I feel like the live action adaptation will kind of right those wrong and make sure that everyone is safely seatbelted and feeling safe and like the parents know the kids are going to be flying.

This is just such an interesting choice to do as live action because it's technically super irrelevant like in modern times, but like for us kids, it was a formative experience watching that show.

And I think a movie or show,

Book?

Magic School Bus?

Book?

It was a book.

But they made it into a TV show.

Oh, yeah, because I guess she's drawn here.

Maybe.

It was a children's book series.

It was a TV show.

The film adaptation is based on the popular Scholastic Children's Book Series of the same name and follows eccentric teacher Miss Frizzle and her class on their field trips in a magic yellow school bus.

Okay, but they also turned it into a TV show.

This feature film marks the first big screen adaptation in the franchise's 26-year history.

Who's putting it on?

Is it a Pixar?

It's Elizabeth Banks' production company, Brownstone Production.

She does good work, but

with cartoons, I do prefer to leave it to...

Is this a cartoon?

No, it's live action.

Oh,

I'm sorry.

I apologize.

I totally misunderstood the story.

Live action.

Oh, so the bus is really going to fly.

Yeah, it's going to be really fabulous.

Elizabeth Banks is the person to kind of anchor this whole project.

Yeah, and I feel like she definitely has a lot of respect for the Magic School Bus franchise to begin with.

You know, she probably grew up with it, and so I think she'll really do it justice.

And she has a lot of Miss Fizzle in her.

She does.

She oozes fizzle.

Yeah.

She oozes frizzle.

Frizzle, sorry.

I also think like memes about Miss Frizzle like never don't make me laugh.

Yeah, no, she's an iconic character and I look forward to Elizabeth Banks breathing new life into her and like really all the memes of Miss Frizzle like once she's a real human being are going to be fabulous.

Yeah and I hope that she depicts her as we remember her you know like a strong a strong female.

Yeah, no, an independent woman.

She might have been like the first real strong female that like we encountered as a role model.

Yeah.

She like took that school, like that class of kids all on her own.

Yeah.

She was really kind of iconic.

Yeah, she is quite iconic.

And I'm so excited about this.

Thrilled.

And then today's generation of children will watch this movie.

And this is something that we all, they'll have their own associations and we have ours.

And it's all something we can come together on.

That's fabulous.

And that's the power of Miss Frizzle and the Magic School Bus.

That's the power.

That's the power.

You said it's this.

Okay, next story.

The Dixie Chicks have changed their name.

What?

Dropping the Dixie.

You haven't heard this yet?

No, the Chicks?

The Chicks.

They are called the Chicks.

Goodbye, Dixie.

Amid calls for the removal of Confederate symbols and nostalgia prompted by the Black Lives Matter movement, the notoriously liberal country music trio, formerly known as the Dixie Chicks, have finally decided that Dixie had to die.

Now, simply the chicks, the bandmates who have sold some

33 million albums worldwide,

have changed their name.

Forgive me for being ignorant.

What is

so?

It's an association with the Mason-Dixon line.

Okay.

Dixon, Dixie, and they're the Dixie Chicks, and they dropped it.

Oh, that's interesting.

Okay.

The Chicks is kind of like a better name.

I like it.

I'm surprised that there's not like a girl band already with that name.

Totally.

But I just like, in recent years, I've become like a Dixie Chicks stand till the day I die.

Mostly because Taylor Swift told me to, but I just heard that song, I'm Not ready to make nice.

And like, if you're ever in my proximity when that song comes on, I just strongly urge you to walk away.

Like, it's a powerful thing, and not everyone can handle it.

I'm not ready to make nice.

Actually, that's not really the painful part.

Allow me.

The powerful part is:

I made my bed and I sleep like I'm baby with no

regrets.

And I don't mind saying it's a sad, sad story when a mother will teach her daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.

And how in the world came the words that I said sending somebody so over the edge that they'd write me a letter saying that I better shut up and sing, or my life will be over.

I just want, like, if that song's ever on, like, just walk away.

Okay.

It's for the best.

You know what song I've been digging these days?

Um, what?

Gaslight.

I never

denied

doing anything to get your eyes out.

I mean, my limited experience with the child with the Dixie Chicks was Landslide, which was just like, I don't think it was their song.

I believe Stevie Nicks wrote it, but they made it, for me at least.

Well, you know it made it.

That was a powerful scene when Santana and Brittany are both confessing their love for one another.

But I digress.

Yeah, no, they've just kind of like been a little bit ahead of my time, the Dixie Chicks.

And I feel like I'm getting caught up now.

Yeah, you are.

And now they're the chicks.

The chicks, I think that's so cute.

It's going to be hard, though.

It is.

is hard.

They've been around for a while.

Like, it's gonna be hard to disassociate.

A rebrand is always hard no matter what you're doing, you know.

Remember the morning breath?

Right, so it'll take everyone a little time to adjust, but I think we'll get there.

Yeah, you know, yeah, and then you can't remember the time when it was the other thing, yeah.

But it's like nobody really called the Dixie Chicks anything other than the Dixie Chicks.

Whereas, like, with Lady A, people called them Lady A for a while, so like the name transition wasn't that crazy, yeah.

But also, there were also people who were calling them Lady Auntie Sneeches.

And so I think those two dueling schools of thought.

Those people are the real fans.

They are.

They're the only opinion who matters.

I agree.

Gas matter,

deny.

Even though I'm going to be really controversial right now and say something kind of crazy, you would think that like Taylor Swift doing a

collab with the Dixie Chicks, like with my newfound appreciation for them, would be like the best thing ever.

But

they're not really on it.

And I actually wish they weren't on it because it's such like a personal song

um so yeah I said it yeah I wish they had done like a proper duet where you could hear all of the people I didn't even hear any and something that you really want to like rock out to yeah not like cry in your car yeah not something that you can't like listen next to another what's so funny is with with tick tock you know it's like the videos that you engage with most

end up dictating what comes up on your for you page so the algorithm is very much like giving you what they think you want and I guess I've engaged with like a lot of tick tock um taylor swift content and I've now I'm now on the Taylor Swift side of TikTok.

And it changes for a while.

I was on the Ariana Grande side of TikTok, which like I wasn't mad about, but I just didn't understand how I got there.

But I very much understood how I ended up on the Taylor Swift side of TikTok.

And I just have to say, it's a fabulous place to be.

That does sound fabulous.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Are you ready for our next story?

It's more happy couple news.

Thank God.

Like yesterday, your stories were like really making me want to cry.

I'm sorry.

I can't predict.

You know, I know, I know.

I'm not blaming you.

But Billy Lorde is engaged to Austin Rydell.

Who?

So he's her, like,

a

man that she dated when she was younger.

They rekindled after, like, her split from Taylor Wautner and the tragedy.

The Billy Lorde Taylor Lautner dated.

Yes.

And now she's engaged.

This is just like a big news day for Scream Queen alums.

Oh, and I guess he's also from BookSmart.

Oh, let me see his picture?

Because

I just assumed he was like random.

I don't remember him from BookSmart.

On Thursday, the BookSmart actresses.

Oh, no, she's in BookSmart.

Oh, yeah.

I was like, wow, I feel so silly.

The book smart actresses now fiancé austin rightell shared the happy news on instagram writing that saying yes to his proposal was a no-brainer for lorde he captioned his instagram she said yes actually she said duh but i guess that's even better than yes um

on valentine's day he gushed over her calling her the best girl in the world he said i found the best girl in the world happy valentine's day to us you know what like sometimes you hear about couples getting together or getting engaged and you just like know that like this is the end of the road for them like this is gonna be it and i just feel that way way.

I feel like they've both finally, well, I don't know him, but I feel like she has found, well, I don't know her either, but I think I do.

She has found like the forever.

And I feel like she needed that.

Like, after a really tough few years, I'm really happy for her.

I'm really, really happy for her.

This is just some happy, sweet news.

Yeah, and it's just like a big day for people who have been on Scream Queens at some point in their lives for Sema Roberts.

Oh my God, yes.

And you know that there's like

not even rumors because there's been confirmations, but I guess nothing's been filmed since COVID, but like Scream Queens 3

is happening.

I heard.

It's happening, you guys.

I heard.

I would love to,

actually, you know, there was some tea there because when Lee Michelle got quote unquote canceled, I hate to use that word, but like what else do you say?

Yeah.

A few weeks ago, Abigail.

There's other things you could say when there was

backlash.

There was controversy.

Controversy.

With Lee and Michelle, we were...

We weren't doing shows, but there was like all this stuff.

I'm sure everyone knows about it.

And Abigail Breslin was like kind of involved, like saying that she had also really negative experiences with Lee and Michelle.

So if they do bring back Scream Queens, I'd be curious to see the on-screen dynamics and like the behind-the-scenes dynamics.

I would love to be a fly on those walls.

Yes, but forgive me if I'm wrong in terms of the storyline, but Leah Michelle was Hester.

And so like she's like a mass murderer, I think.

Oh.

So I don't know if it necessarily makes sense to bring her back unless they wanted to.

I'm sure they can make it work.

I don't think that she died in this show.

Oh, you mean storyline wouldn't make sense like for her to really be on?

Yeah, because she was like in a high maximum security prison.

Got it.

Maybe they flash forward a few years.

Yeah, I think they broke her out maybe to help get like the green meanie.

I forget.

It got really complex towards the end.

Sometimes shows, like especially towards the end, this is what we were talking about with Montree Hill.

They just like lose all sense of reality.

But like Screen Queens started that way.

Yeah, that's true.

So

I'm just really excited.

I should re-watch.

Also, speaking of Ryan Murphy's incredible work, Politician Season 2 is streaming now, and we're going to watch this weekend when we cap on Monday.

Yeah, I mean, we also have to watch our Toast movie of the week for Monday, which is Black Klansmen.

But I think I can make time for both this weekend.

I'm not really doing anything else.

I actually am like in the middle of a book, and then I have to read the book for the Redheads.

So I actually have like a full plate this weekend, but I'm looking forward to tons of content.

It's been a while since I literally turned my TV on.

I get home, and I literally scroll TikTok.

It's honestly a really sad existence.

Like, it's just pathetic.

And like, Ben comes in, I like pretend that I'm doing stuff so he's not gonna like judge me when I've literally not done anything except scroll TikTok for the last two hours.

And it's not like I'm being creative and like making my own TikToks and like contributing to my social footprint, you know, like which is my job.

No, I'm literally just sitting there scrolling.

It's just so entertaining and hours go by.

Well, whatever you need, whatever it takes for you to be entertained in this time, like just embrace it.

You know, I walked past my bag of knitting supplies and it just took me back to a time in quarantine where like I was doing puzzles and knitting.

Like that was like so pure.

Yeah.

I need to get back to that place.

I know that's where I'm at right now because the past few weeks I've just been like watching TV, mostly just watching Real House Eyes of Potomac, but I haven't been really reading and I had stopped using my Peloton.

And so yesterday I'm like back on back doing like reading during the day and on my Peloton and like that's where I was two months ago.

But I don't know, I think I might have been better then.

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's hard to associate when I was good and when I was not during quarantine.

Quarantine is very cyclical.

So you do something, you get bored of it, then you completely change your routine.

You get bored of that, you miss the old thing that you were doing.

Yeah, so that's what I was going to say.

Cyclical.

Quite cyclical.

All right, for our fifth and final story, it is some good news.

Oh, is it a little good news?

Is it some good news?

Because if John Krasinski is not going to tell me, I'm not really sure.

It's a little good news.

Okay, it's a little A-L-G-N.

A little good news.

Yes, exactly.

Tyler Perry donated a van to Atlanta-based women's organization that helps people experiencing homelessness.

Every time we report on Tyler Perry, it's like, why aren't I married to him?

A women's organization in Atlanta

that provides hygiene products to people experiencing homelessness received a very special gift on Thursday thanks to Tyler Perry.

Erica Wright, the founder of the

non-profit Project You First, shared that the producer and actor donated a brand new cargo van to the organization, which provides people in need the basics for health, hygiene, and love.

That is so cute.

I mean, in my eyes, like Tyler Perry, when his time is up on this earth, like he is walking straight into heaven.

Like there's no fucking questions.

Nobody's going to ask to see his ID.

Like he's just fucking walking in.

And I felt that way ever.

Remember that Trader Joe's story, which just like totally broke my heart with the actor who used to be on Cosby Show.

Cosby Show, yes.

This is just like, this is not surprising at all.

No, not at all.

And it's actually, it's very philanthropic.

It's a very creative way to help out an organization.

And I think it's beautiful.

And I just wanted to share that.

I wanted to end the fast five stories on some good, positive, philanthropic news.

Yes, and you know what that reminds me of because I finally, if you didn't watch our episodes last week, which we were on Zoom, so I don't entirely blame you.

I revealed that I actually finally finished Jessica Simpson's book after much coercing from Jackie.

I just wasn't in a headspace to read a book, but when I finally got into the headspace, I finished it in like two days and it was so good.

And that story about how she like won some free car, like convertible, and she asked the company if she could trade it in for a minivan.

And she ended up giving it to that

orphanage that she was constantly visiting in Dallas or Texas where she was from.

Like that was such a cute story.

Such a cute story.

I totally agree.

I forgot about that tidbit, but like when she asked if she could trade the convertible in for a minivan.

And the people were like, are you serious?

She like won a free car from Chrysler.

And she's like, can I actually get like a Chrysler, I don't know, minivan.

Like van.

And they were like, I think they thought she was joking.

And she was like, no, I'm dead serious.

And she like drove it through the gates of the orphanage and like the kids were running around.

I just fucking, ever since that book, I now follow her on Instagram, which I can't believe I didn't do before.

Like as someone who has always felt so connected to Jessica Simpson, merely because we share the same birthday, like the fact that I didn't follow her, like I'm a disgraceful fan and I'm really ashamed of myself.

And I apologize, I do.

But now that I am, I'm like really trying to get noticed by her.

I'm like being so thirsty in her comments.

I'm like, love it, icon.

I just feel like following her on Instagram wouldn't have the same impact before you read the book.

Agreed.

I have such respect for her.

Like, and her, I understand her personality.

I understand her captions.

Like,

I'm glad that I waited.

Otherwise, I might have, like, judged her based on her Instagram for sure before reading her book and understanding, like, everything that she is.

So, those were our fast five stories, but we would be remiss.

We would be devastated, and we would even be heartbroken if we didn't share the most piece of mindless news today.

In today's segment, Kelly's Mindless News.

Like, the 4th of July.

This one, of course, comes from People Magazine because only the most mindless pieces of shit comes from People Magazine when it comes to Kelly Rippa.

Here is the headline.

Kelly Rippa and Mark Ensuelos have set up a chore wheel for their family amid coronavirus.

Kelly Rippa and Mark Ensuelos have come up with a clever way to ensure that their kids stay busy and contribute to the family amid the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.

While speaking with a parenting expert on Monday's broadcast of Live with Kelly and Ryan, Rippa, 49, revealed that she and her husband have set up a family chore wheel for their children as they continue to shelter in place as a family during the global health crisis, even though it's unclear where in fact they are.

Currently.

Currently.

We've established a chore wheel where everybody has a chore for the week, she told parenting expert Dr.

Eileen Kennedy Moore, explaining that the family has been using the tool so that somebody's vacuuming, quote, and somebody does the dishes and somebody does the laundry, somebody cleans the toilet throughout the week.

So you get one chore.

You only have to do it once per week, or you have to do it every day.

Like it's your responsibility for this week.

I just hate that like.

So if the toilet is dirty, everyone knows who to call.

Every day, right.

And you know what?

I think what kind of triggers me about this story is they're acting like Kelly Rippa invented chore wheels when that's so not the case.

Like the camp counselor invented the chore wheel.

Counselor Snitch invented the chore wheel.

And I actually have a lot of love in my heart for chore wheels because I do find them to be extremely effective.

I just.

Wait, there's more.

The mom of three went on to say the toilet duty has been a very unpopular chore amongst her family, though they switch every week so that no one is stuck scrubbing the porcelain throne.

I mean,

the fact that I now know that Kelly Ripa's children scrub their toilets during coronavirus, like, is exactly why the segment Kelly's Mindless News was created in the first place.

Yes.

Just to highlight, like, and I have to say, it really is mostly from People Magazine.

Yes.

And other people pick it up, but they are always the first.

So here's the thing.

It's like, she shares this mindlessness on her show.

I think we've broken this down before.

Like because they do banter at the beginning of the show.

They do what we do.

Yeah, and that doesn't bother me at all.

Like, that is who she is.

She's the banter queen.

I don't understand why and how it turns into news stories.

Well, I want to know if it's like the Live with Kelly and Ryan PR team, like just pushing out mindless content.

Is it Kelly's personal publicists like wanting more news about Kelly?

Or is it People Magazine just being like weirdly obsessed with Kelly Rippa?

I can't imagine that it's the third.

I'm sorry.

I just can't.

Yeah.

I'm feeling like it's the first, like the ABC PR team just wanting to get more buzz for Live with with Kelly and Ryan.

Perhaps.

But it's just.

But we're on to them.

We're onto them because it's so uninteresting.

No, it's deeply.

And there's so much uninteresting news out there that never even catches my eye.

But it's like the sheer volume of crap we have to read about Kelly Rippa, it's just cause for concern.

And that's why, you know, we started the important work that we do here at Kelly's Mindless News.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're calling it out left and right.

Call it as I see it.

And that's our show.

Anything else we want to talk about?

Oh, I do.

I don't know if you you guys know, but on Tuesday of next week, my comedy special comes out.

It's called Disgraced Queen.

It is available for pre-order right now.

So, if you want to just get your ducks in order, you can head to iTunes and type in Disgraced Queen into iTunes, or you could tap the link in my bio on my Instagram, Girl With No Job.

It'll take you right to the iTunes page.

And I would really appreciate you supporting the comedy special.

It is my first special, it's my debut special.

I'm really proud of it, and I'm just so looking forward to everyone seeing it on June 30th of next week.

That's Tuesday, that's when it comes out.

That is so exciting.

Like, when you first announced the date, it felt so far off, far, far off, and it was.

Yeah, and now it is here around the corner.

We have to do like a stream sort of soiree.

Well, like when I first found out about the special, I was like, I'm going to rent a movie theater, like invite all my friends and family.

And now I'm like still, you know, not able to do that.

And no one's even in New York, so no one's going to be able to watch it with me.

But maybe I'll just invite like you over and Theo and we'll watch.

Sounds like a party to me.

Sounds like a perfect evening.

Anything you want to promote, Shell?

Come on.

Oh, I mean, nothing in particular other than patreon.com slash morning toast, where we're pouring our heart and souls into these episodes for you guys.

So if you're looking for a little extra content, I don't even know what people's schedules are like right now because everyone's in such different places in terms of the quarantine and going back to work and not.

So there's content abound over there.

Oh, and if you're looking for some presets to brighten up your summer flow, head to jackieoflow.com.

The new pastel pack is everything of the sort.

My favorite preset is cotton candy, but yesterday I used the toast preset on the photo that I posted and it just changed the game.

So jackieoflow.com.

That's what we do here.

We change the game.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast Millennium Morning Show where we go live Monday through Friday, 10:30 a.m.

Eastern Time on YouTube.

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We hope everyone has a fabulous weekend.

Stay safe, have fun, don't drink and drive.

Yes, bye.

Bye.