S3 Ep112: The One Where We're Back in Studio: Wednesday, June 24th, 2020

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast live and in living color.

Living color, thank you.

That's what they say on hairspray.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

We are back in studio, but in a new studio, for those of you who have noticed, hello, welcome to our new studio.

We had some issues.

Don't ask.

We're here now.

We moved.

We're so excited to be back.

This is so weird.

That's it.

This is so weird.

This is so weird.

Like this, I feel weird being near you.

Like, this whole thing is is so weird.

It has been

two months since we started Zooming from home.

Got it.

I mean, I just, it's a totally different season.

I'm like in a sweater and jeans, even though it's 80 degrees outside.

I just, I never had time to shop for the summer and now it's like the summer's upon us.

And we're not cool for the summer.

Not at all.

I'm actually very warm for the summer.

Yeah, no, it's rough, but we'll get back into it.

You know, even the few times we were able to do podcast episodes together in quarantine, like they're just so much funnier.

They're better.

And I think it is time for us to be back together.

It's very exciting.

Hitting you with that good morning millennials.

Unfortunately, it means that HYD slash Hydern is going to take a back seat.

Devastating.

We'll always have her, you know, and we'll always like have had that together.

That controversy.

It's devastating.

It is devastating.

I'm heartbroken.

You look heartbroken.

We have an amazing show for you guys.

As you know, it's Wednesday.

It's hump day.

Which means hump someone you love.

I'll be humping Jackie later, even though she.

Social distance.

Okay, fine.

I'll hump Theo.

And that also means we have Deer Toasters, which is our advice segment.

So if you or someone you know is looking for advice, feel free to write in.

We always keep it anonymous, and we'll be doing that at the end of the show today.

But before that, we're busy.

We have so much to discuss.

We actually have some really good stories to talk about

and just life, you know, what I'm still so sore.

Like, I truly can't, not that I need to move on the show, but like, I can't get up.

What are you sore from?

From working out.

I did a live method virtual session, and like, it broke me.

Yeah, me too.

I was, like, begging the trainer.

I'm like, like, please, let's do more.

Let's do more.

Yeah, you were just like holding that plank, like you were going overtime.

Yeah, and he was just like, Claudia, you're going to overdo it.

I'm like, okay, Matt, I'll stop.

Yeah.

Well, I feel like so much has changed since we last did a show, like, in a studio.

I'm a whole new person.

I feel like I might even look different on camera.

I feel like this quarantine has aged me basically, mentally, emotionally.

Like, we are all just different people than we were.

And I'm looking forward to seeing how I look on camera because I feel like I have a different thought.

Well, yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing the 12 pounds that I gained.

Well they say the camera adds 10 pounds.

Right.

And I gained 12.

So you gained 22 pounds.

22 pounds.

So let me know if I look any different.

Also disclaimer, as with any new studio, you know, things take time.

We have some fabulous wallpaper coming, a new neon sign.

So just bear with us while we work through, you know, the crooks and crannies of being studio owners.

Yeah, no, I'm excited about this space.

It's fabulous, and it's going to become more and more fabulous.

Yeah, we've got lots of big, big plans.

Yeah, big, big plans.

Speaking of, I've really been thinking about like Lauren Lane, Ben Higgins, ever since I watched like that season.

It just took me back.

Did you see her Instagram story yesterday where she was like, wow, I got so many messages about me like not like posting or like acknowledging that my season was on?

And she's like, and while I'm so grateful for the opportunity and like I have no ill feelings about production or Ben or anything, I have moved on with my life and I just I'm not going to watch it and I'm not going to post about it, which I thought, I can't believe anyone was expecting.

She's fucking married.

I can't believe anyone was expecting her to even, like, acknowledge it.

Yeah, I wasn't expect.

That makes a ton of sense.

I really wasn't expecting it.

I didn't even notice that she didn't, you know?

Same.

Because I'm just like, whoever that person was on my TV, like, that's not Lauren Lane.

Right.

And, like, I mean, I don't follow her, but did JoJo post about it?

Well, Jojo was on the episode.

Like, Chris called her in to talk about the heartbreak.

And then next week is her season.

Oh, her season was

my favorite.

She's really, like, still in the bachelor fold, whereas, like, Lauren Lane has graduated from bachelor university.

Big time.

She made it to the big leagues.

Yeah, she's like going to grad school.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's getting her MBA.

In country music.

Oh, my God.

It's fabulous.

Well, I am so happy for her and like her perfect little life in Nashville.

Like, I'm so jealous of her house.

She just got new pendants in her kitchen last night.

I'm just obsessed with her.

And I didn't think it was weird.

In terms of them, like, now going through and playing new seasons, like, I'm really not crazy about Jojo's season.

Like, to me, it wasn't ever really like a season.

It was just like her and Jordan, like, trying to pretend that they didn't know each other before.

Her and Jordan like acting their way through a season, pretending like they like other people or that they might not be here for each other.

Totally.

Like it's just it's honestly a waste of your time.

Don't watch it.

Yeah.

Well, we'll see.

I honestly

enjoyed watching it the other night.

Maybe it was because it was Ben's season.

So I'm going to give it another chance because it was definitely value add to my evening.

Okay.

So I guess without further ado, it's time.

I've also been watching Real Houses of Potomac is getting through season four right now.

They just got back from New Orleans, and like it was just one of the best trips I've seen, again, on a Housewise franchise.

Like, it was iconic.

Yeah, no,

I know.

It was iconic.

And I would have something to recap in the TV recap, but I was convinced from TikTok to watch this.

I thought it was a TV show, 365 Days.

Have you heard about it?

Is that the Stockholm Syndrome?

Like,

porn.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

It was just not at all what I expected.

I did not finish it.

I thought it it was a TV show about like this, like, you know,

like crime family.

And all of a sudden, I'm watching porn.

And I wasn't like necessarily upset about it, but it was just not what I expected, you know?

But the guy who plays the main character looks so much like my friend Felipe, who wrote my song Toast.

Like, I couldn't stop watching my friend Felipe in porn.

Like, it was crazy.

Like, they look so much alike, but it was not him.

Wow.

So, you wouldn't recommend it?

It depends.

Do you like porn?

Then I would.

If you don't like porn, maybe it's just like not for you.

How's the story?

Oh, the acting,

the storyline and the acting makes it more like porn because it's like, it's so fraudulent and like so fake.

And it's just like, it's like the scenes in porn between the porn.

Right, right.

It honestly, the acting really reminded me of like from Justin to Kelly, like that level of sadness.

Oh, I mean, honestly, then I'm watching it.

From Justin to Kelly is an amazing movie, but if you watch it through the lens of like, I'm watching porn, every scene is like, they're about to fuck.

Like, like the acting is so bad and that's how you know acting is bad It's like when when you think that porn is about to start Got it.

Okay, good to know

I won't be watching it, but no you definitely should not watch it.

I'm watching it then.

Okay, well the boat scene is just

I actually have a lot.

I have a lot on my plate right now, so it's a lot.

It would have to be like number eight on the list.

No, I just like honestly like I die at the thought of you watching that movie.

Like it's just you're so pure.

Like I want to protect you.

It's just it's, it's a lot.

That's all I'll say.

Okay.

Thanks for the disclaimer.

Yeah.

I just watched Friends All Day.

Like, I really, I can't even get myself to watch Politician Season 2.

I just, I know.

I have nothing on my plate yet.

So much.

It's true.

It's very true.

Okay, I think it's time.

Okay.

Without further ado, to get into the fast side stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

So nice to not have to DIY my crunch.

Oh, yeah.

Also, after this, we have to record a sound bit for Kelly's Mindless News.

Should we practice?

Yeah.

Kelly's Mindless News.

Like the 4th of July.

I think that's beautiful.

We do.

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First story, an update from yesterday's story.

The noose in Bubba Wallace's garage has been there since last fall, and the driver was not the target of a hate crime, says the FBI.

The noose found by a member of Bubba Wallace's team in his garage at the Talladega Speedway in Lincoln, Lincoln, Alabama over the weekend has been in that stall since October of last year.

The FBI's investigation into the incident found.

The FBI determined on Tuesday that no hate crime had been committed against Wallace, who is the first black full-time driver to race in the Cup Series in nearly 50 years.

They said after a thorough review of the facts and evidence surrounding this event, we have concluded that no federal crime was committed.

Can I just say, like, I am thrilled beyond words that this was, I think, a misunderstanding.

So it seems.

So it seems.

When I was, again, I'm always, you know, just listening to the people.

I was reading like tweets and people, even in our Facebook groups, I was curious what people thought about this.

And some people think that this is like a conspiracy to cover up a crime and that they're not fully satisfied with this result from the investigation.

But to me, when I saw the picture of the garage and I was like, damn, that does look like a news, but it's obviously meant to pull down the garage door.

I was like, ooh, like this is weird.

Like, we just made a whole

situation about it but i like it's just now it's like i'm actually really glad that it obviously didn't happen but i'm also really glad that like nascar was able to support the first and only uh black full-time driver yeah um

so like it's it's almost like the best of both worlds here like now we got like nascar got to show their support for their we had a great moment and the thing that was terrible wasn't actually so terrible right and so it actually just is sad because i'm sure maybe a a white driver has seen that news and not thought anything of it, but like given the current climate and like what it's like to be a black man in America, he probably just like saw that news.

It was like triggered.

Well, from what I've read, he didn't see it.

His crew team saw it and reported it.

So it wasn't him that reported it.

It was his team.

Well, I'm sure they are just trying to protect him.

Right, of course.

Ultimately, this is great news that like people are not that fucking evil.

Yeah.

That this was hopefully just a misunderstanding.

And we had like a really great moment of solidarity together, and now we're like NASCAR stands.

So, yeah,

I don't know.

I think all's well, that ends well, right?

Yeah, we're gonna take the win.

We're gonna take the W

and Bubba.

And I actually stalked his Instagram yesterday because you were mentioning all the McDonald's ads, and it was like him on a boat eating chicken nuggets before his like big race day.

And like, that is the life I need.

Like, I need to be a NASCAR wife.

I'm gonna get Ben into driving.

I feel like I could be a NASCAR passenger, like, I could be shotgun doing the music for the drivers.

Yeah, that's not a position, but

why couldn't it be like

there's two seats in the car?

Totally, and I could be there just like cheering you on, totally, playing music, totally, you know, telling you like just which way to go, yeah, make a right on First Avenue, you can make a stop, totally, you know, yeah, you'll be in charge of ordering at the drive-thru.

Yeah, honestly, NASCAR is like one of the scariest sports, in my opinion.

It's quite dangerous, clearly, you know, yeah.

So this is, we're tying up the story in a lovely bow.

Hopefully, this is where it ends.

And it's all good.

All good.

Okay.

Next story.

New couple alert.

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

Timothy Chalamay was spotted with Aza Gonzalez poolside in Cabo.

Okay, very interesting.

TMZ has the photos of these two rendezvousing in Mexico.

And though they're not the couple that I ever, ever would have put together, mostly because I don't really really think about Timothy Chalamet like I know he does it for so many people but for me like I just don't subscribe no he literally like never crosses my mind unless he's like his a picture of him is placed in front of me right like I've never I don't think I've ever seen him in a production of anything no um I don't follow him on Instagram he's not really like my type so I don't really think about him um but I do think about Isa Gonzalez because I think she's like the most beautiful woman in the world and she's so nice like we've hung out with her twice and she's literally the nicest girl in the world right And so, for these two to come together, we have absolutely no choice but to shit.

Um, I have some questions.

How old is he?

I don't know why I think of him as 15.

Me too.

He's 24, and she's

and she's 30.

Oh, very appropriate.

I think of him as 15 as well, because 15-year-olds love him.

Oh, is that why?

Yeah, I just, this is gonna be so controversial.

Like, maybe everyone's gonna, like, cancel us again, but, like, I don't see, like, the Timothy Chalamé, like,

allure.

Yeah, I don't understand it really.

Um, because to me, he's like, just like like a skinny kid I went to high school with with curly hair.

Like, I don't understand, like, this whole sex pop thing.

Like, even there are people in Hollywood who people like lust over, and like, I don't like live for them, but I get it, and like, I respect the lust.

I don't get or respect the Timothy Chalamet lust.

Yeah, I just think, like, we have a very specific type, yeah, and it's not Timothy Chalamet.

No, and I just, I'm actually like, every time I see him, I'm reminded that, like, how different I am from my generation, you know?

Yeah, also,

um, shit, what was oh, wasn't he dating lily rose depp yes and that was cute and they just faded off yeah i don't know he's always he's like become like some like hollywood bachelor he is like the guy which is crazy to me because like i don't even think he's cute like no i know honestly like if we were in high school and he asked me on a date like i probably would have said no yeah

i don't get it and like i i get so many other like

sex pots like that's what he is like girls like like harry styles like girls just want to be with him like i just don't get the timothy chalamay

And also, I don't really get his name.

Is he French or American?

I think he's probably French.

Because who spells their name with two E's?

Yeah, and a Chalamet.

Apostrophe.

Yeah, I don't get the whole thing.

Like, he came out of nowhere.

He was sprung onto the scene.

Maybe if we watched the movie.

Call me by your name.

Maybe we should watch that movie.

Maybe we'd feel differently.

Okay.

Because I feel like that's where everyone fell in love with him.

Okay.

That's actually a fair call.

So, anyways, I'm happy for this new couple.

Like, Aza Gonzalez

is everything of the sort.

Everything of the sort.

Whatever she chooses to do with her time and herself, like I support.

We have no choice but to respect her as a queen and a female and an actress.

Definitely.

Okay, next story.

Jimmy Kimmel is apologizing for blackface impression of NBA star Carl Malone.

Jimmy Kimmel is apologizing for a blackface impression he did in the mid to late 1990s.

The ABC late-night host, who's currently taking a summer break from Jimmy Kimmel Live, issued the statement on Tuesday, it comes amid a continued reckoning in the industry over racist depictions of black people and other people of color in the past, ranging from Gone with the Wind being

temporarily removed from HBO Max to Hulu pulling down four episodes of 30 Rock that featured blackface scenes.

Jimmy Kimmel said, quote, I have been reluctant to address this as I knew doing so would be celebrated as a victory by those who equate apologies with weakness and cheer for leaders who use prejudice to divide us.

That delay was a mistake.

There is nothing more important to me than your respect, and I apologize to those who were genuinely hurt or offended by the makeup I wore or the words I spoke.

The makeup I wore.

That's like it's a little soft, you know?

Yeah.

I mean, there's so much weirdness going on with Jimmy Kimmel, and I thought that his hiatus was so strange and like weirdly timed, but it's obvious that he knew that this was coming out and did not want to be on air while having to address this.

It's much easier to address it in a statement or with a publicist than have to go on air and apologize directly to your audience.

Like that's, it's a very hard thing to do.

Trust me, I've had to do it.

Well, he

said in his statement, just because he addressed that part, that his summer vacation has been planned for more than a year and it includes the next two summers off as well.

Sure.

Sure, Jimmy.

Just wanted to know what he's saying.

Sure, Jan.

Sure.

I mean, like I said, I don't really like love Jimmy Kimmel, and

I don't think he's funny or really that interesting or talented.

So

I'm glad he's being held accountable for his actions.

I just think it's

it's and this is what we said with Jimmy Fallon, too.

It's like, of course, doing blackface is horrible.

Like, there's so much historic,

historical reasons, like, why it's so offensive, but like, let's also talk about and like bring in the other people who, like,

whose sketch.

Jimmy Campbell doesn't write his own sketches, you know what I mean?

Like, the SN, it's like Lauren Michaels.

Like, there's so many people involved, and that's why, like, I love Tina Faye, and like, I love that, like, she stood up and was like, it's her show.

And even though I don't even think she was the one in Blackface, like, she was the one who actively took the episodes down.

It's like, there's so many more people involved in a TV show than like just the person wearing the blackface.

And of course, Jimmy Kimmel should have known better, but like, at the same time, he was doing his job.

So, like, who put him in that?

Who wrote that skit?

Like, there's, it's a group thing.

Yeah, it takes a lot of people to approve something.

One character.

Right.

Where did he do the skit?

Was it on SNL?

He did it on,

it was a sketch from Comedy Central.

Right, so it's like, it's not like someone's YouTube channel where they could potentially paint themselves in blackface and then click live, record, and then upload.

It's not, there's so many people involved, and it's like, of course, Jimmy Kimmel

should 100% be held accountable.

But I also think it's important to know how many other people were involved and how many other people thought this was funny and okay.

Yeah.

And that's that on that.

That's that on that.

But this is just,

it's a very interesting time to be working in Hollywood, like it's it is a sort of reckoning, yeah, and to have been working for so long,

yeah.

So it is, and so we'll keep you posted on what he does next, yeah.

But it includes a summer vacation.

I wonder where he's going,

hopefully, somewhere.

I mean, where can you go?

I don't know.

I just saw Bella Hadid and Haley Baldwin are in Sardinia on a yacht.

Oh my gosh, so I love to be in Sardinia.

Apparently, you can go play.

Where's Sardinia?

It's Europe?

Yeah, fabulous.

Mediterranean.

So jealous.

Yeah.

Okay, next story is kind of a throwback to like the beginning of quarantine when we were young and fresh and alive because Love is Blind stars.

Oh my god.

Okay, L C, who was like the runner-up for her.

For Barnaby,

split from Mark after Reddit user claimed he was dating another woman.

Wait, what?

Love is Blind star L C

has called a quits with Mark after rekindling their romance.

She revealed on Reddit over the weekend that she had been dating him since early May, but ended things after a user on the website claimed that he was seeing someone else in a post titled, My Close Friends Co-Worker is Dating Mark.

Oh, damn.

In the post, a Reddit user had shared a picture of what appeared to be Mark on a date with another woman.

She wrote,

sorry, this is awkward because I live in Atlanta and I've been dating Mark since the beginning of May, Elsie wrote.

Oh, and by the way, this is Elsie from Love is Bind.

Feel free to DM me on Instagram if you would like more information.

Why is she like hanging out on Reddit I don't know but like I guess the story here is that when love is like after love is blind aired mark started dating lc

and then according to other reddit users he was dating like other people as well

too and then I guess um

jessica weighed in too and she said um

shit what did she say

Oh, she said, wow, this is news to me.

I only knew about one of, so I guess he was cheating, like he was sleeping with multiple women.

Jessica knew he was sleeping with one person, and apparently, there's like a whole roster.

I like really miss the time in my life where like the biggest news story was Jessica being 34 and Mark being 24.

Yeah, I know.

I miss when Matt was like, How are we gonna reconcile this?

Yeah, and like I literally miss like logging onto my phone and just like looking at memes about Love is Blind and like literally like belly laughing so hard.

That was such a good, happy time in my life.

Yeah, it was like right before quarantine, the beginning of the end.

Yeah, those were good times, man.

Good times.

Those were good times.

Well, I mean, I mean, there's nothing shocking here other than the fact that he's dating a castmate.

And you know what else is shocking?

Like, Mark really got such this edit of, like, poor him.

Like, Jessica just did a number on him.

And it's like, I think that there was definitely, I think, if I were Jessica, like, I will have, like, I've been pissed up until this point, you know, because she was villain.

She got a raw deal, and he's not, like, just like the sweet, loving guy who was just there waiting for her at every turn.

No, but those scenes where like he was was being the loving guy waiting for her at every turn, and she was like being like the villain.

Like, those were some of the most difficult things I've ever had to watch.

Like, that scene when they make it to the hotel in Mexico, and then they are in the bed, and it's just like, this is awful.

Yeah.

So awful.

I miss that show.

I can't wait for a second season, even though it's going to be ruined by like Thirst Monsters now.

I'm still really excited for another season.

Yeah.

I think that they can figure it out.

I feel like you could also weed out Thirst Monsters easily by just like looking at people's Instagrams.

What show did you like better?

Love is Blind or Too Hot to Handle?

I think Love is Blind because it opened up, like, even though it was like a silly reality show, you really had like meaningful conversations from it.

And like, is Love Blind?

I don't know.

Too Hot to Handle was like the opposite of that.

It was just like shallow, shallow, shallow.

Yeah, I agree.

I loved Love is Blind.

Like, I got so immediately emotionally invested in the whole thing.

Like, when we were on our way to LA and like the finale came out, like, we both downloaded it on our iPads.

Like, I was really invested because it was this like elevated, meaningful, like, bachelor.

yeah and like people were having like like people on the show were having serious conversations about a lot of different things and then afterwards like it just spawned really a dialogue where it's too hot to handle it's just like sex like oogling yeah it was honestly borderline porn sometimes but there was no sex even

that's true yeah so i see like whenever we get to season two it's gonna mean a long time like I look forward yeah it's gonna be in a while I look forward to knowing her

okay fifth and final story a little happy couple news because Raven Simone says her wedding to Miranda per man Maddie was a true reflection of their love.

Oh my god, I didn't even know she was married.

Raven Simone got married on June 16th in an intimate ceremony.

And in this week's issue of People, the former Cosby Show actress and her new wife, exclusively.

Excuse me.

The former Cosby Show actress.

I know.

The former That's O Raven star.

But as we realized in yesterday's episode, like in articles like this, they constantly are like, the former, like the toe singer, the like they just use all these descriptive ways to i mean if anybody ever referred to me as the toe singer like i would die i'd be so excited like so here like we're about to get to like the cheetah girl star you know right um

but she exclusively opened up about their secret wedding which only had six guests the intimate details and how it was a reflection of their future together she said despite being someone who has kept my personal life private i decided to share this moment because it's one of the biggest and happiest of my life miranda makes me feel confident and empowered in an entirely new way We planned our ceremony together, and it was a true reflection of our love and partnership.

That is so cute.

Like, I didn't even know that she got married.

I didn't even know she was dating anyone.

I just.

That's the way to do it.

You know, just like totally show up with a people exclusive with the good news, a little good news.

This is so much good news.

So much good news.

There is like a really special cockle of my heart for like just carved out directly for Raven Simone.

Like, I feel like she had such a big impact on me as a kid.

Like, that's a Raven was my favorite fucking show.

And I watched it like every day.

And I used to laugh so hard.

It was like my first kind of experience with comedy.

Like, it was so funny.

I remember like belly laughing, like silent laughing for like the first time in my life to an episode where her hands, um, she eats like mushrooms and she's allergic and her hands get so big and she's like doing that cooking show thing.

Um, I just, there's a special place in my heart for her, and I really only want like good, positive, happy, special things for her.

I completely agree, and this seems to be one of those things.

So, I can't, I'm so excited.

Mazleta.

What did I say?

Mazzleto.

So those are the fast-sized stories.

And I feel as though, honestly, if I'm being honest, you needed to know them.

If I'm being honest.

Yeah, no, I definitely needed to know them.

And surprisingly,

maybe it's because actually like a month ago, I deleted the Twitter app off my phone.

It was just like so fucking negative.

And I felt so much better.

But I really feel like I know less.

Like I find myself being shocked when you say something.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah.

That's like what the show is meant for, you know?

And then if you just get get like, like, we get your commentary, you know, you're like, no, and it's so organic.

I'm so organic.

You're so organic.

People try, you don't need to eat organic because you are organic.

People need to eat meat.

I feel like

I feel like people who are so fake, like they're the ones who are eating organic to try and counteract.

No, they're the ones that like are just so artificial.

Like it's just ironic.

You know what I'm saying?

No, but it's all about balance.

It's all about balance.

And I'm the most organic bitch you've ever met in your life.

And speaking of, well, not really, next up is our Deer Toaster segment, which is our advice segment.

You can always write into it deartoasters at gmail.com um we always keep it anonymous you can write in about anything from quarantine troubles to boyfriend troubles work stuff anything we'll always keep it anonymous so let's dive right in again that's dear toasters at gmail.com we're running low please write us please dear my favorite people and my adoptive aunts and it chisses i've gotten literally everyone i know to listen to the toast and we're all so excited about the comedy special we are so proud of you both thank you so much you could pre-order my comedy special disgraced tween it comes out in six days on iTunes You could search Disgraced Queen into iTunes, or you could just tap the link in my bio on Girl with No Job.

Thank you to whoever wrote this in for promoting my special.

Okay, I'm going into my second year of college, and I've been dating this guy for two years.

I love him, and he is my best friend, but I feel guilty for not letting him have the full college experience.

And also, I want that.

I want the time to be alone with myself and my friends, and I'm scared that if we stay together, I'll start to resent him for that later.

How do I go about taking the break?

What's the time limit for when we need to revisit?

Do we just let it happen?

It's gonna break my heart, but I know it's best for me.

Sincerely, an underage toaster who's trying to bring my fake ID into Camp Toast.

Now, I have

something just came to mind for me about this whole scenario.

And it was the honestly Oscar snubbed film, How to Be Single, featuring Dakota Johnson, Rebel Wilson.

That movie was Razzie snubbed.

Oh my god, are you kidding me?

I thought that was like the most amazing movie.

It's a horrible movie.

Oh my god, I totally disagree.

I think it's literally like the ultimate, like, spoiler alert, she zips her own dress.

Like, I can't.

Oh, the zipping of the dress thing, I agree, was like a really lame cliche, but she's met meets this guy in college.

They spend all of college together, and then at the end of college, he's like so heartbroken because she's like, we're gonna get back together, but like, I just want to take a break, like, I just want to find myself, I've never been on my own, la da da.

And then obviously, like, she goes to get back together with him, and he, like, found someone else, and he was, like, so happy.

Yeah, honestly, unpopular opinion, she should have stayed with him.

Of course, he was such a great guy, aside from the fact that, like, he ended up meeting someone else and like getting engaged and then like still kissed to cook Johnson at a party, but like, he was in love with her, and I don't fault him for that, but like, I just trying his best.

He's trying his best.

I, I don't love this idea, I'm not gonna lie.

Like, this reminds me again of the wonderful song, Grow As We Go by Ben Platt.

Who said that in order to grow, you need to be a part?

Like, you can grow with someone and grow as we go.

Oh,

grow as we.

Wait,

who said that the growing only happens on your own?

Why do you have to grow by yourself?

Yeah.

Sorry, I got like into the song.

My advice, I agree with you.

I think that, like, to Todre Johnson in the movie, the reason why she shouldn't have broken up with him is because the only reason she was breaking up with him is because she felt like she needed that she's supposed to be single, that she's supposed to see what's out there.

I don't think that that should be a reason why you break up with someone because you feel like you're supposed to do something.

But if there are issues in the relationship and you want to see what else is out there because you're not happy with what you have, take a break.

And that's not like she said.

She said, like, I'm going to be heartbroken.

No, but like, you don't have the itch to be single when you're like happy in your relationship.

And yeah, breakups are sad, but sometimes they're meant, like, they're necessary.

It's necessary pain.

You need to grow from it, and you take something into the next relationship.

So, I think if you're writing into a show, like, asking if you should break up with your boyfriend, you should break up with your boyfriend.

Well, no, you should reflect on why you want to break up.

Do you actually just want to be single, or is there more to it, you know?

Yeah, or at least take a break, see where it goes.

Um, but I do think, generally speaking, like when you're so young, especially when you're dating someone from high school, like you grow, you could, you can grow together, but a lot of people don't.

So that's true.

So don't like, I think this is a very natural progression.

Yeah, you know what I would do?

I endorse this break.

I would put your AirPods in, listen to Grow As We Go by Ben Platt, and then see how you feel afterwards.

I think it'll actually,

the truth is in the song.

Okay.

And you will find your truth once you listen to the song.

Next up.

Dearest Claudia and Jackie.

First of all, love you girls.

I'm in need of a little advice, and I think your creative minds will come up with some great ideas.

I recently found out I'm pregnant.

My husband and I are so excited.

The only thing is that we're not far along in the pregnancy, so we aren't telling people yet.

We'll be at the beach with lots of family in the next week, and my family drinks a lot.

Do you have any suggestions as to how to fake drinks so no one suspects anything?

When we're on the beach, it'll be easy because I'll use a solo cup, but what about when we're at the beach house or playing games at night?

I normally drink wine, beer, and mixed drinks.

Basically, I like alcohol in case that helps.

I'll probably tell my sister before then, so she and my husband will be able to get me, quote, drinks as well.

Thanks in advance, XYXO, a sober tipsy toaster for nine months.

Ooh, that's hard.

Yeah, I mean, so this is hard.

I guess you don't want to tell them because it makes it a big thing.

So you could say, like, you're on antibiotics.

There's a ton of reasons why you wouldn't drink.

You could also say, we're trying.

Yeah, that's a big theme in season four of Potomac.

Yeah.

Drinking and trying.

Trying, yeah.

There's definitely creative ways to get out of it.

You're totally right.

Antibiotic is a good one.

Also, you could just be not feeling well.

You're trying to cut back.

You could say, like, you're doing whole 30, even though, like, they'll like judge you and whatever.

And then you'll be like, that girl.

But as an organic queen myself, I totally understand.

But, like, then you'll have kept your secret, and eventually, you'll be able to untell them, and then they'll all laugh at the time they thought you did whole 30.

Yeah, I just feel like the more elaborate you get into a lie, like it's just

it never works out.

Like, you get, you just build a web and then you, like, forget something you said.

So, you just need like a plain, like an antibiotic, like, something that's simple, not too complicated, um, that'll just throw everyone off your scent.

Yeah, or just you could say, like, I've been drinking so much during quarantine.

Like, I promised myself I would do a cleanse.

Like, I have, I'm sticking to it.

Yeah, doing like a dry weekend.

Yeah, and you know what?

Like, hopefully, your family and friends aren't so annoying and they'll just leave you alone and let you live your life.

Yeah, but like, I get that she doesn't want to like raise any eyebrows, but like, I'm a really big drinker, and it's like, we went away for the weekend and I didn't drink.

What would you think?

Um,

I would just like if you had a decent enough reason and you were like saying you weren't drinking because you've been drinking so much and you just don't like the way you've been feeling, like, I would totally accept that.

Yeah, okay.

I think it's also know your audience, like, that's an excuse that I would accept because I've been there.

So, um, like, if you said to me, I'm on antibiotics, I'd be like, What?

What have you got?

Yeah, no, totally.

There would be follow-up questions, yeah.

But I know you too well to know that you're not on antibiotics.

That's so.

So, just know your audience, tailor the excuse to something that would strike a chord within them.

Right, or that they couldn't further disprove.

Like, you're not an antibiotics.

I just saw you, you know, got the doctor.

You know?

So that wasn't really helpful, but just figure it out.

And you know what?

At the end of the day,

honesty is the best policy.

Yeah.

And if they don't accept, and they might be like, you're pregnant.

And just

be like, you know what?

Maybe just don't go to the beach.

Yeah, honestly, like the more we talk about it, like the less we can help you.

So like, maybe just stay home.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My favorite piece of advice to give people during during gear doasters.

Figure it out.

Good luck.

All right, finally.

Hi, Jackie and Claudia and Crunchy Theodora.

Crunchy angel Dora.

Precious chamin Dora.

Lovey boy Dora.

One and only Dora.

Favorite nephew Dora.

Beautiful chamin Dora.

Precious spot Dora.

Delicious lips Dora.

Lovey man Dora.

Crunchy angel Dora.

Beautiful perfect Dora.

I guess we're still going, Dora.

Never stopping, Dora.

My son, my angel, Dora.

I love him, Dora.

So do I, Dora.

When can we stop, Dora?

I think we should stop now.

Next up.

Hi, Claudia, Jackie Ann.

Crunchy Dora.

When you win Dora.

I love you, Dora.

Okay.

I need your help.

My best friend wants to be an influencer and it's driving me insane.

She is talented, creative, and beautiful, but her feed is so full of bullshit captions.

She's monologuing on her Insta stories, having deep conversations in her DMs, and trying to grow her brand in ways that don't add up to who she is in real life.

The problem is I know her too well.

I know that most of what she's saying is totally untrue.

And that she does not have her shit together in real life.

She centers a lot of her content around giving advice, which is concerning.

I know that being online means that you can be, that you can bend the truth, but I know too much.

I can't take her seriously.

I want her to be successful, but i cannot handle this bullshit how can i be a supportive friend while i can't stand her online persona mute her talk to her suck it up help things to note she doesn't make any money from her instagram she doesn't have that many followers less than 10 000 and she has no clue that i feel this way thank you a toaster who was probably a horrible friend that's so infuriating like it's infuriating i see i see both sides like i totally like know people like this who's like instagram just like makes me want to die and it's like i know you like you're evil like your instagram is just not reflective of who you are but at the same time it's like this is your friend like this is her what she wants for her life Like, let her live.

Yeah, I agree.

But, I mean, how close can you guys be if, like, this is really, if this is like what she's getting into, you know?

Like, if it really bothers you and you also want to say her friend, like, definitely mute her.

Don't look at it.

If you don't see it, it won't bother you.

And then when she asks you about stuff, be like, oh, I haven't seen that yet.

And go and look at it.

But just try not to read everything.

Otherwise, you're like, you will inevitably just make fun of her behind her back constantly.

And that's not friendship.

Yeah.

And at the same time, like, what the key, you know, people ask me all the time, the key to being a successful influencer is being organic, which I'm so organic.

Right.

And it's also like being authentic.

So if she's really putting out this like totally fake persona, like and her whole brand is like a mask, she'll really never be successful, which it seems like you don't want her to be.

So no, maybe she'll just give it up soon.

Right.

I she won't be successful doing it this way.

So she will give up if she needs to like make a living.

Right.

I'm curious about this girl's finances.

Like, how does she pay her rent?

Does she have another job in like the influencing as a side project?

Is she working on her passion project full-time?

Maybe she's a student.

Maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I don't know.

I think everything will work itself out.

But while it's bothering you, just try not to look at it.

Yeah, like if you're so bothered by it, just like keep your nose out of other people's business.

But like, she's not putting her nose in the business.

Like, she follows her friend and the captions come up and she's like, farce, farce, farce.

Yeah, but just scroll.

Scroll.

Keep on scrolling.

Keep on scrolling.

Those were our deer toasters.

Clearly, we are desperate for entries.

So please write into deer toasters at gmail.com.

Maybe we've solved everyone's problems.

Maybe.

Maybe our advice is too good.

People don't want to face their like, you know.

No, our advice is so good, we solve people's lives and then like they don't need to write in.

And then they don't come back.

But the email is deartoaster at gmail.com.

Feel free to write in anything.

We always keep it anonymous and we promise we won't make fun of you.

My comedy special is out in six days, which is like such a big deal.

I cannot even stress it enough.

So if you haven't pre-ordered it yet, I can't stress enough like how important it is that you do pre-order it.

So you could tap a link in my bio on girl with no job or you could just type in disgraced queen into iTunes and it'll pop right up for pre-order.

It's, like I said, six days away, and it's just, it's just beautiful.

Yeah, beautiful, stunning, and smart.

It's just beautiful.

Claudia, that is beautiful.

Stunning.

Anything you want to promote?

Not much, but head over to Patreon if you're looking for some extra content.

Yes, we filmed a fabulous Patreon podcast episode two days ago, and it's one of my favorites.

So if you sign up today, you pay $8 a month and you get five extra episodes from.

$7.99.

$7.99.

You get, for $7.99, you get five extra episodes a month from Jackie and and I, whether that's video or podcast episodes.

And if you sign up now, you get access to all the old episodes since we started like over two years ago.

So it's like 200 episodes.

So there's really no reason for you not to be a Patreon member at this point.

Sorry, sweetie.

Totally.

Well,

I think that's all she wrote.

I'm looking at her.

She moved to the new studio with us, and she's just sent it.

She's been in the corner like for the last hour just writing.

She's like a, what's it called?

A court reporter.

Yeah.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the morning.

Toast the Millennium Morning Show where we go live Monday through Friday, 10:30 a.m.

Eastern Time on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We are also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So, it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IR Radiocats, all the places wherever you listen to podcasts, find us the morning toasting the faster review, but how beautiful, stunning, and smart.

We are, we love you guys so much.

We hope you have a great day.

Bye.