S3 Ep80: In The Q With The Ks: Friday, May 1st, 2020

Good morning, millennials.

Happy Friday.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

It is a gloomy but wonderful Friday here in New York, and we are just wrapping up another week in the queue.

Hey, Claude.

Hey, guys, girls, girly girls.

What's up?

Claudia here, still talking like RuPaul because I finished season seven last night.

And you know what, Jax?

We're just fishy as fuck.

And that's not our fault.

It's not our fault.

I don't know what it means, but but um proud fish yeah i don't really like understand fishy i think it's like when you really um

like

do your makeup so well and your glam so well that you are like the most high fashion woman like you work at vogue and that's us Oh my God, that's actually me today because for the first time in I think a month, I have done a full foch of makeup.

If you're a podcast listener, I have a full face of makeup on for a multitude of reasons.

I have some content to shoot today.

My husband's 30th birthday is tomorrow and I know he doesn't watch the show.

So I can say here that I have like a little something planned tonight.

So it's just a day where I need a fotch.

And I'm really feeling the effects of wearing makeup.

Like I really feel like myself, the person who said like a few weeks ago, I should try getting glammed up and maybe I'll feel better was right.

Well, I'm so happy for you.

I'm actually reverting into the man I started as.

Like I'm literally starting to look uglier and uglier.

My hair is getting like cracked.

And like, I thought that not using heat would make it like healthy.

And no, it's broken and sad, just like me.

Yeah, I went like now.

I'm using heat twice a week just to give my hair like a little bit of shape.

And then I don't like touch it up every single day.

But today I did a full hair as well.

But that's going to need

volumizing.

Thank you.

I mean, honestly, it was a fun activity.

And if you're looking for something to do, and also I was really inspired by one of my inspirations, Kylie Jenner, because she's been getting full glam, like having a little party in her house with her tequila, but a brand that she won't share with the class yet, and her Hawaiian rolls.

And I was just like, she looks like she's having a grand old time.

And if she, like, why not me?

Totally.

Hawaiian rolls are so epic.

When we, um, when quarantine first started, and like, I wasn't sure if it was like a joke and everyone was like running to the grocery store.

I'm like, these people are nuts.

Then I was like, damn, maybe this is not like.

not a big deal.

So I signed Ben to the grocery store and we were the last people to get everything.

There was nothing left.

Ben bought 10 packs of Hawaiian rolls we never ate them i found them in my cabinet the other day covered in mold

oh my god i found a lot of stuff covered in mold mold is a really crazy thing i know my garlic covered in mold what the oh my yeah i had um avocados some old avocados covered in mold and then also vegetables do this thing in the fridge where like if they don't get moldy but they just start to leak out like this like the juice from the inside just like leaks out and ruins your fridge.

So I've had a couple bad zucchinis that way.

it's a crazy time for mold.

And I know, and we've been talking about it.

And, like, we always say, you know, the quarantine is a roller coaster.

And I'm feeling on like an emotional high.

Like, I'm not feeling terrible this week.

I was feeling pretty terrible last week, but this week, I'm just done cooking.

Like, I'm done with the kitchen.

I'm done loading the dishwasher four times a day, wiping down the stove 10 times a day.

Like, I'm done.

I'm eating a bowl of cereal for every meal because I'm fucking done.

And I'm eating honey nut Cheerios.

I'm getting my cholesterol down and I'm done.

Yeah, I went to the store yesterday and I found some really good plant-based meat options in the frozen food section.

I was telling Ben I had these like chicken poppers, but it's fake chicken last night.

And then I also, you know, Boca Burger, the company, they make meatless crumbles as well.

So I got two packs of those so I can make tacos.

I can make meatless boullones.

I'm really excited.

Also, because it's Zach's birthday tomorrow, I feel like that's kind of like, you know, making something happen for me.

Like it feels like there's an occasion.

We actually have like a lot of birthdays coming up.

So it feels kind of like normal life.

But his favorite food ever is pesto pasta.

So I am cooking pesto pasta tonight for dinner.

And we're

serafina delivers.

Yeah, but honestly, it's so much better when

you make it at home.

If it turns out right.

And you know what?

I don't think that Serafina has a pesto pasta that he likes because every time I order Serafina, he like doesn't know what to get.

That is such a like weird thing to like.

I didn't even know Zach lived for pesto.

Lives for it.

So, and also when I went to the store, I got a Chibriani brand pesto, apparently.

Like the things that you learn when you go to the store.

Um, Chibriani like sells their pesto, so it should be a Chibriani level dish.

I'm excited.

Uh, we'll be having cereal and um chips for dinner at my house.

Shibachalome.

Shibatulo.

Chips are really like everything these days.

You know what?

I don't have any chips in my house.

Like I started out quarantine with a bunch of chips, ate them all, and never restocked except tostitos, which are such a versatile chip.

I just can't praise them enough.

But I need some baked lace, some bakers, Cheetos.

Like I need some chips.

I've been loving, and we've been going on a chip run like two times a week.

I've been loving kettle chips, specifically salt and vinegar.

But then after you eat the salt and vinegar, you can't really go back to the regular because then the regulars have no flavor.

And mesquite barbecue.

We used to eat them in college all the time.

I just love the mesquite life.

The problem with salt and vinegar is obviously that you can't go back to eating regular chips because it just tastes bland.

And then you're literally a monster with your breath.

So it's literally

vinegar.

Also, I did the towel trick of washing my towels with vinegar and then baking soda.

And the gym clothes smell is gone, you guys.

It completely works.

People were also telling me to try this method of like stripping your clothes by putting them in the bathtub.

You saw these posts.

Oh, yeah.

Um, but like this solves my problem.

Like, maybe maybe if I get to the next level of mildewy towels, I'll do that.

But if you guys are having a smelly towel issue, one, wash them with vinegar, a cup of vinegar, and then after that wash, use half a cup of baking soda.

And also, stop washing your towels with

fabric softener.

Fabric softener.

I did a similar trick on my dishwasher.

It was smelly as fuck in there.

And I did vinegar and baking soda.

Now it doesn't smell good, but it does not smell bad.

Do you like?

I love the smell of vinegar.

When I was like pouring all the cups in, I was like so excited.

Are you sick?

I love it.

I was pouring it, literally, like trying not to throw up, like gagging so hard.

Sick.

Vinegar is so good.

And salt and vinegar chips are so good.

You should take apple cider vinegar shots.

They're really good for you.

If you can smell them.

Maybe I will.

I actually think I have some apple cider vinegar for some recipe I didn't make.

Sickening.

Oh, it's like bleach.

I, you're so wrong, sis.

I know everyone's wondering, like, Claudia, are you drinking coffee in your mug?

Tea?

No, I'm drinking lemonade.

Oh, yeah, I'm from where?

Crystallite.

Crystallite is my absolute quarantine best friend because I have such a hard time drinking water.

But laying around all day and not drinking water gives me terrible headaches.

Like I've had headaches almost every day in quarantine

because I don't drink water.

So now I'm doing crystallite, which is water.

It counts.

That's good.

Also, liquid IV is the perfect thing for that too.

I need to get better of having like a water bottle in bed with me because all I've been drinking is iced tea, but it's not, that's not good enough.

I drink a lot of water when I work out.

Yesterday, I actually had such a productive day, even though the day started when I thought I wasn't even going to do the toast.

Like I wasn't feeling well.

But I started to feel better.

We moved Camtos and let everyone know.

And now everyone's so excited.

I was so excited for Camtos yesterday.

Like.

I really can't wait.

And then I did a workout, a virtual training session with the live method, which was so great.

Did a little Peloton, went and got my migraine meds, went to the store.

It was a good day.

Oh, I literally didn't get off my love sack

on my computer, but I was like very productive, but like not physically.

Like I did so much work yesterday.

That counts.

That's great.

That's great.

My motto of quarantine is that counts.

My motto of quarantine is we got through the day.

Doesn't matter how.

One day at a time.

Seriously.

Oh, and I watched all the TV I needed to watch, which we're going to recap, Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Real House Lives of New York, both of which I have very strong feelings about.

Me too, more so keeping up with the Kardashians, which is just like,

it's my happy place.

Oh, Chloe Kardashian tweeted back at me last night when I was keeping up.

I saw.

That was great.

That was very exciting.

That was great.

I have started to watch Kardashians live because

every time I tweet about it, they tweet me back.

Kim retweeted me last time.

And then the week after that, I watched it like late on my DVR.

But unless you're, they, they usually tweet with East Coast time.

So now I'm like motivated to watch live just so I can be thirsty on Twitter.

I mean, that's great motivation.

Also, because like watching as soon as it comes out is the best way to watch.

It's literally, we'll talk about it, but like these are my people.

Like I'm so obsessed.

I'm so obsessed with Kim Kardashian Wes.

Like I can't even tell you.

She is just like my spiritual leader.

You know what?

It's like, I was really actually thinking about yesterday, like who I relate to the most.

And to me, like Kim is the end all be all.

Like she is just.

everything of the sort.

But like last night's episode, I was really just like, damn, Chloe is a fucking ride or die, like pretending with these stupid storylines.

Like she is constantly time and time again, putting this show on her back.

Oh, for sure.

I had like so much respect for her, but there's just like,

I don't know.

Maybe it's like a personality thing.

I just like, I live for Kim.

And it's so nice to have a celebrity in your life who you feel like you agree with them on every single, like anything that they do, you ride and you die for them.

Yeah.

Like whenever I think of like, oh, I'm the Kylie, you know, like when people always try and like connect us, as much as I would like, absolutely love to be be the Kim, because I feel like I'm just like a star.

Whenever I watch the show, I totally like see you, see Kim and you.

Like you both are really like this

calm force in the family where it's like people really look to you and they look to Kim for like spiritual guidance.

Like, I don't make a decision without running it by you.

And people, everyone does that to Kim.

Like, even with the embryos, Chloe was like, What do I do?

Like, everyone kind of, even though Kim's not the oldest, she's just like so wise.

And I feel like you guys are similar in that way.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

That is so kind.

yeah everyone always tries to like line us up and it doesn't totally align um

but i do feel i like i in the role of the family i feel like i relate most to kim and then i feel like you who would you i want to say chloe just because like you're the most fun and funny but it doesn't totally match up no it's just it's not it's not there for not there

No.

Anyways, just a fun thing to do.

Yeah.

I think it's time.

That way, we can like get into Kardashians.

It is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And that's true, Jackie.

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Okay.

First story, wrapping up the big news of the week: Gigi Hadid has confirmed her pregnancy on the tonight show with Jimmy Fallon.

Gigi Hadid officially confirmed she's going to be a mom.

Days after the news broke that she was expecting a child with boyfriend Zane Malik.

Hadid opened up in an interview with Jimmy Fallon.

Quote: Obviously, we wish we could have announced on our own terms, she said, but we're very excited and happy and grateful for everyone's well-wishes and support.

Especially during this time, it's a nice silver lining to be able to be home and together and really experience it in pregnancy day by day it was a cute interview jimmy's like so happy i think they're actually like really friends like all like there are very few celebrities who live in new york and i feel like the ones that do like they stick together and jimmy fallon was being really cute you know he's his usual drunk self but he was still being very sweet and endearing um

i just you know i don't really hear gigi hadith talk that much and every time i do i'm like reminded by how low her voice is and it's just so unique not in a good or a bad way it's just like so unique and i don't know a lot of people with that type of voice and i'm always just like oh yeah that's what she sounds like Yeah.

I think a lot of people have that reaction because we don't really hear from her

literally that often, but she's obviously so excited.

She looks so happy and glowing.

And even in the Zoom FaceTime situation, like she's just radiating.

And I'm happy that she like just told us straight up, you know, came out with it.

I wonder if, obviously, someone spoiled their news and linked it to TNZ.

I wonder what their

announcement would have been, you know, like how they would have done it.

Like, I don't know if they would, would they have done like a photo shoot, a cover of Vogue?

Like, I don't see her just doing something on Instagram, like a post, like a nude belly post.

No, they're so high-fashioned.

I feel like maybe she would have like shown up to the Met Gala with a bump.

That would have been like kind of iconic.

Definitely something on the cover of Vogue would be so sick.

They've been in a Vogue photo shoot together before that was actually really sickening.

So

I do feel sad that both they and we got robbed of that moment, but I'm glad she's just embracing it, not like pretending it's not happening.

Um, I'm just excited for like the looks.

I feel like she's such a like, so many fabulous people get pregnant, but like very rarely does like the top model in the world at the height of her career, like everyone is going to want to dress her for every pregnant outing if we ever get out.

And it's kind of going to be like sickening.

It would be sickening, but we, there's four months left of her pregnancy,

and there's like a lot of social distancing left, even though May 15th, we're getting out, but it's not going to be

the Met Gala.

Yeah, the Met Gala is not going to happen.

So

I'm just excited for these two.

Also, their quarantine on the farm Tremon in Pennsylvania is a dream.

A dream.

Like, that's just should be us.

That should be us.

Damn.

That should be me.

Holding your hand.

Oh, this isn't a story today because I haven't even gone through it all, but like the new music that's out today

is just everything of the sort.

First of all, Six Feet Apart, Luke Holmes, the song is here.

He recorded it.

He literally just answered our prayers.

Like, thank you, Luke Holmes.

The song is so good.

It's the anthem of quarantine.

Up until now, my quarantine anthem had been 2016 by Sam Hunks.

It's all about like lost time and what you would do if you got that time back.

But now it's six feet apart because we're now looking forward to the times we'll have when we're no longer six feet apart.

My quarantine song has been a song that I found on TikTok by that, but I knew about the artist.

She's like that new up-and-coming country artist, Tenil something.

Teneal Towns.

If I ever get to heaven, got a long list of questions.

Like, do you make a snowflake?

It's a beautiful song.

That's my memory.

Oh, I need to add it to the quarantines playlist.

Yes, I looked for it.

I just assumed it was on yesterday when I went to go play it in the bathtub, but it wasn't.

And it's just such a sweet song about like all the things she would ask God if she ever gets to heaven.

That's so beautiful.

Wait, I'm adding it right now.

What's it called?

Um, holding out

holding out for the one, somebody's daughter, where you are, the most beautiful things.

No, I remember not really recognizing the name of the song.

Oh, I could just check my phone one second.

It's really also, I just want to say the quarantines playlist has 5,700 followers because everyone is just loving the vibe.

Like, it's, it's so the vibe.

It's my Spotify playlist on Spotify.

My name on Spotify is Jackie O'Winreb, and the playlist is called Quarantine.

And if you're like looking to catch a vibe at any point between now and the end of the pandemic, listen to this playlist.

It'll get you through.

It's getting me through.

What's the name of the song?

I can't find it, but okay, we'll deal with this later.

Also, another song that I wanted to mention,

the Savage remix with Beyonce.

It's called Jersey on the Wall.

Sorry.

Okay.

I was listening to the remix as I got ready this morning and it was just putting a pep in my step.

It's everything of the sort.

All the references, she literally like drops TikTok and it's all like

it's so exciting.

OnlyFans, it's just so exciting for everyone who has been enjoying Savage up until this point.

Like the remix is everything we needed.

It got me thinking, like, do we need an OnlyFans?

I actually, because I'm in the morning tube, which is like the YouTube-based Facebook group for the toasters.

It's very amusing.

And I've started to just like know so much about YouTubers because like I've started to fall in love with Jeffrey.

And it's like, then once you know one, you start to know more.

Like I was following this Miranda Sings drama last night.

It was fucking crazy.

But I've kind of been enamored, I'll say the word is with Trisha Paytas.

And she has like a crazy OnlyFans where like, I think she makes like literally so much money a month.

And someone in the toasters was like, did anyone see Trisha's OnlyFans?

And I went on it.

And hers is like straight up poured.

She was literally putting like a dildo in her ass.

It was crazy.

So while I don't think that's like my path,

I totally like respect and support you if that's the path that you want to go down.

I will say, however, I think that our version of OnlyFans is Patreon.

It is.

So patreon.com/slash the morning toast.

If you're, if you're wanting to see us like you've never seen us before, not nude, but you know, open up.

Close.

We're emotionally nude.

Yeah, we're spreading them emotionally.

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Opening up emotionally.

Okay, ready?

Okay, this episode is all about Kwarn Bebez because

next up, Ashley Simpson is pregnant.

She's expecting her second child with her husband, Evan Ross.

So Diana Ross's daughter-in-law is pregnant, and it's just so exciting for the future and sneak chest of two, Jessica Simpson.

The couple announced in a joint.

I'm so happy for Tracy.

You know, this is great for Tracy Ellis.

This is her sister-in-law, and that's really important.

honestly like this family now that i've read jessica simpson's book i have like a deeper appreciation for the simpsons and for ashley simpson too um and like the fusion of the ross simpsons

is so epic yeah it's strange i'm not gonna lie to be honest it's very very rare that you say a story and i hadn't heard it i had no idea she was pregnant and it's just so weird i feel like ashley simpson and evan ross are the culmination of just like irrelevance but but they're also like so close to like Diana Ross, Jessica Simpson, these stars, but they themselves are completely irrelevant.

Remember when we were at the airport standing in line at Hudson News and they were right behind us?

Yeah.

Yeah, I agree with you that they're irrelevant, but it's like, it's because she was living in the shadows of someone else's dream.

And I feel like Evan Ross might have heard that song and related to it, you know, and I feel like that might have been what connected them, just like this.

For sure, but I know that she was standing in the shadow of someone else's dream but like for a while she was everything of the sort like she didn't really get pushed to the side completely

no no she didn't

so i think i think they have a nice little life together oh for sure and they enjoy all the fruits of like being related to famous people but i just find it so interesting that you could be so close to fame from all angles like an icon diana roth but still be so irrelevant no i think it's the opposite like i feel like they get like all of this like, you know, she farts.

It's a news story.

She has a, they get a real show with a reality show on E.

They get like a shot at everything just because they're someone's bloodline.

Yes, I guess you could see it that way, but like, I just don't consider like their one season on E and their us weekly write-ups to be like a level of fame.

No, that's a lot that in this day and age, like that is like textbook C-list.

C-list, yes, that's what I'm saying.

Like,

yes, for sure.

But like the people that they associate themselves with, Jessica Simpson, Diana Ross, like like that is permanent AAA list.

Yeah, they're A by association.

No, I disagree.

No, they're not A list.

I would agree with that, but they are cute and they seem like really happy celebrity family.

And that's, that's a big deal in this day and age.

Oh, and you know what?

I'm sorry.

I take it back.

Actually, I met Evan Ross at a party once.

He was so nice.

Like, literally, all these people were being like so weird.

And he was being so nice to me.

Maybe it was because we were both losers.

Like, we both just kind of like fit in.

Maybe.

He was really nice, actually.

I take it it back he's nice i really i like them and she was so supportive of jessica through her whole journey through life in the book was she and um

yeah she's a really good sister like they are steeny vibes and so i support any sister who supports a sister hmm interesting i didn't know that they they had steeny vibes that that does change things it changes things and you should just finish the damn book I know, you know, I started like the first three pages and I never picked it back up because I put it somewhere.

I can't find it.

And I have two two copies.

How crazy is that?

I cannot find either copies because I bought one for a trip, left it at home, and then in the airport on the trip, I found the book.

So I bought it for the trip, never read it, brought it home, read three pages.

Now I can't find either of them.

It's so good.

You're missing out.

You're missing out.

I know.

Okay, next story.

A little more Bebe news.

Because Anderson Cooper is welcome to Baby Boy via Surrogate.

I'm loving this trend of people just like dropping their babies, like Beyonce just dropping her lemonade album, like no warning, boom, baby.

Baby, yeah, I'm so here for it as well.

Anderson Cooper is a dad.

Surprise.

On Thursday, the longtime news anchor revealed the happy news on CNN and also on Instagram, where he shared a slideshow of photos of his son, Wyatt Morgan Cooper.

Cooper welcomed Wyatt, who was named after the journalist's father.

On Monday, via surrogate, he said, Wyatt weighed seven pounds, two ounces at birth.

Quote, he is sweet and soft and healthy, and I am beyond happy.

That is so cute.

And I just like can only think about him and Andy's Bebbed just being best friends, like the new AC in town.

No, it was so cute.

I watched the little clip, like literally the most CNN I've ever watched in my life.

And it was really, really sweet.

Like he's really just like, it was very cute.

He was getting like a little choked up.

And I had the same thought.

It's like, I love how him and Andy had like the same PR person for their baby, like boom.

dropping a baby and they both have babies via surrogate and they both like have so much respect for the surrogate industry like the way that um andy was i mean um anderson on his show was like so so grateful for this uh surrogate was really sweet and you know andy's like always going to albany fighting the legislature all that stuff so i'm very excited for the friendship between benjamin cohen and wyatt morgan cooper because they're going to be so cool yeah they're going to be really cool um very sweet a lot of pressure you know to be like that cool No, or to like get along.

You know, our dads are best friends.

They work together.

We're on tour.

We're staying in the the hotel together.

And I don't even like this kid.

Totally.

Like, remember, I just remember growing up, like everyone has those family friends.

And now as an adult, I realize it's because like I want to hang out with you, Jackie.

So our kids have to be friends whether they like it or not.

It's not about the kids.

Yeah, that's what family friends are.

It's like because your parents are friends and they just want to hang out.

So the two of you better hang out.

And you see each other in the hallways, say hi.

And it's like weird because like you hung out this weekend, but like you're not really friends.

No, and you're not in different different grades and like the kids are like how do you guys know each other and it's like our moments are together i don't know yes that's exactly what it is but it's just so funny how like your perception of family friends changes when you're a kid versus like an adult like i totally get it now like all my friends like when we have kids like our kids better be friends because i want to hang out with my friends yeah but they won't be real true friends they'll just be family friends But every now and then, very rarely, do family friends transition into either true friendship or true love.

Yeah, I think mostly it can be true friendship when the kids are the exact same age.

Because if they're in different grades, they're never going to be tight.

Yeah.

You know?

So that's my, my two cents on family friends.

And also, like, there is a limit to how many family friends you should have.

I just want to say that.

Like, I think family friends are cool.

I understand it.

I respect it.

But like, you can't be family friends with the whole town.

Okay, you can't, but there are certainly people who try.

Like, I mean, I'm, you're probably thinking of someone.

I'm thinking of someone.

Like, just that family that was like friends with everyone it's like chill but well what are you trying to prove what are you trying to prove and like your bar mitzvah is going to be out of control there's too many people

too many people

yeah agreed okay next up kylie jenner posts a loving post to travis scott for his birthday saying quote love you forever kylie jenner has

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Just like this love in our next story, which is really cute.

So it's Travis Scott's birthday yesterday.

Kylie posted a series of photos of him and Stormy saying, Dada, happy birthday to Daddy of the Year.

I'm slowly but surely starting to accept the fact that Storm is a daddy's girl, but whatever.

We went half on greatness.

The most beautiful, smart, loving, and funny little baby the best gift okay i'm crying love you forever

i'm unclear on uh their status do you have an update uh i don't have like any legitimate update i i don't think that they're together romantically um maybe they'll around and have another baby as she said but um i think right now they're not like together but they were quarantining together i think or was that tristan and chloe i i don't know i don't know i don't know if they're together i was also leaning towards them not being together but i'd like that they keep the relationship civil, obviously for Stormy.

And because, of course, she probably still loves him, the father of her child.

I just love seeing photos that I was never going to see if it weren't for Travis's birthday, like him riding on a bike around Calabasas with Stormy in the back.

Like, that's the kind of shit I fucking live for.

No, same.

And I love that they call themselves Stormy's mom and dad because that's what we call them.

Like, she posted.

a photo of them like saying Stormy's mommy and daddy and he always calls her like stormy's mom he's like i love stormy's mom and i always will he said in an interview interview, so they're just like

copacetic and chill.

Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it's like more, um, there's more to it than what we're seeing.

But what I'm seeing is like co-parenting at its finest, and like maybe a little glimmer of hope that these two like might one day just like fall back in love, fall back.

Maybe it seems like they're just on such good terms.

Like, if Kylie wanted another baby and she wants it to be Stormy's full relative, like, get in the sack, jump in.

Yeah, yeah, I think that they would be open to that.

I feel like that's where Tristan and Chloe are headed towards.

And I really like that.

I need to just get to Kardashian's recap because like the promo is sickening.

I feel like that's such a mature way of like parenting.

It's like having a baby with someone who you're not with, but like you already had a baby with.

Like that's so mature.

Yeah, Barry, Courtney, and Scott.

Yeah, but didn't they have the three kids while they were together?

Yeah, they wrote it out till the end, but like.

It wasn't easy.

It wasn't easy.

Okay, our fifth and final story.

Are you ready for it?

Hmm.

It's an interesting question.

Yeah, I'm ready.

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Fuck that.

That's not what I thought this was going to be.

That's not a real solution, even though this isn't a problem.

I've actually had whenever I'm wearing a mask, I'm usually not touching my phone or trying not to.

So

this isn't a problem that I find to be like a true, you know, worldwide phenomenon.

Um, also, I don't think that this is a solution.

It's just like get to plan B faster.

It's not that hard to go from face ID to passcode.

No.

And also, I thought the solution was going to be, okay, we're going to do new profiles where we get really close on your eyes and like we'll be able to open your phone like from ID, from ID.

That's right.

That sounds like a solution.

This doesn't seem like a solution.

No, but it is interesting how like now this is like a glimmer into how the world might be different after all of this.

Yeah, for sure.

I think that there's probably

the subway.

Yes.

Yeah, I heard that.

They are closing down New York City subways from like one to five in the morning to finally clean it for the first time in literally 200 years.

I can't believe that we are now two months into quarantine and now they're thinking about cleaning the subway.

Didn't it occur to anyone?

Everyone's talking about Wuhan, the bat, the lab.

No, coronavirus, my friends, started in the subway.

And fight me on that.

Yeah, no, it's it's very exciting

that there will be a clean subway.

I'm actually going to go.

I need to see what it looks like.

Yeah, I'm sure it'll be nice.

I hope that they take it seriously.

Like not just the cars, but the tunnels.

Like this is a major, major project.

And I just don't trust the man in charge of New York City to fulfill it in a way that's effective, but we'll see.

At least he did it.

Like, come on.

I'm so like, at least it's happening.

Well, Governor Cuomo is in charge of the MTA.

So that it's like a Cuomo de Blasio initiative, but

it's both of them.

Okay.

Well, that's better.

I'm sorry, but both of them have done fucked up that it took this long to clean the subway.

That's what I'm saying.

So it's like the person in charge of now cleaning the subway is the person who also stopped it from ever being cleaned.

So

right.

So no congratulations are in order here.

No, and I'm not feeling like that zest I had five minutes ago.

You know, I'm not feeling excited because whoever is in charge has obviously been making very poor judgment calls when it comes to the MTA, the fare hikes, this disgust.

It's just

those dumb machines they installed in the subway like robots for your ticket.

No.

No.

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And I've been leaning on Noom more than ever to help me like stay in check and just make sure I'm eating enough protein and like getting enough of the nutrients and not eating too much garbage.

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And those have been my goals.

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Are we wanting to do New York or Kardashian first?

Kardashian because I watched it first.

Okay, such a fabulous episode.

I love that they're on at eight o'clock.

I can't stress enough how much this Thursday, eight o'clock is so fabulous.

I totally agree.

I was like ready for it.

So, we kind of got two episodes.

Like, the first episode was like a little silly, like Chloe being Kim's uh Chris's assistant, Scott leaning more into his family background, and then the uh Christmas stuff, which was so fascinating to me because I saw it through two lenses.

Like, I remember sitting on the show and being like, why they do it at Courtney's?

It was kind of lackluster.

And now, just knowing like the all the drama, it makes total sense.

Yeah, like

when we saw it then on Instagram and stuff, like they didn't do a good job of like, well, why would they?

They're at a party.

They're not going to explain what the vision was for the party.

But like now, seeing it all, I thought it was lovely.

Like, obviously, you know, she wanted it to be very much her aesthetic.

And it was.

And when we saw it on Instagram and we were just used to like Kim's party last year, where she had a fucking snow hill and sledding and like tree, it was just so crazy.

But I thought it was really beautiful.

It looked like everyone had so much fun.

They didn't let the crew in.

And I feel like they're just trying to make more of like these opportunities where they can just be be themselves.

Same with Christmas morning.

And I just was obsessed with the logistics of like where they're going to have everything and like what it would look like at everyone's different house.

Like the fact that Kylie would have a chef and everything would be like so staffed, whereas Courtney doesn't want any of that, yet she doesn't cook.

So what are they going to eat?

Yeah, I was feeling really conflicted because part of me agreed with Courtney.

It's like nobody wants to have the party at her house.

So Courtney's thing is like, I'll have the party at my house if we can keep Christmas morning at my house.

I actually thought that was like a fair trade.

And I thought Kylie was being like a little stubborn, just like, I'm doing it at my house.

Like, I don't care what anyone says, like, not even appreciating the fact that Courtney was giving up her house for the party so that there would be a party because there wouldn't be one if it weren't for Courtney.

And so I'm not usually one to take Courtney's side.

But I also understood how all the girls were like, I just want to wake up.

I want my kids to wake up in their own house and like have Christmas morning.

So like, that's where it's like where you grow up.

It's like you want the things that you had as a kid.

but you want it with all your cousins but it can't be at everyone's house yeah it's like they had all these traditions growing up but like their aunts and uncles and cousins cousins weren't making these sacrifices too.

So like things do change when people have their own families.

And like Stormy wants to believe that Santa comes to her house.

And I think that that's really fair.

So I think the solution they came up with was perfect.

Everyone opens presents at their own house.

Santa came to their house.

And then they have like this big brunch.

It really like shocks me.

I was thinking about it a lot last night because I was also watching Kim's stories.

Like they wake up so early.

Kim wakes up.

Kim has her trainer come every morning at 5:45.

That's insane.

Like, I feel like I will never be successful or like as successful as I want to be because I love to sleep and I love to sleep in.

And I can't even wake up at 9 a.m.

on a weekday, let alone a weekend.

Like they're talking about going to each other's houses at 8 a.m.

after having a full morning.

Like, I don't know.

When do I get to that?

When do you get to that point in life where you just like, maybe it's when you have kids and they wake you up and your sleep schedule is thrown off?

But like the amount that I sleep, like I'm now self-conscious of it.

Like I feel like I just can't be a success because I sleep too much.

Well, you definitely sleep a lot less once you have kids.

Like, they just say you never sleep the same way again.

So, I think that'll change.

And also, with the Christmas stuff, it seemed like a lot, but when I, it's my understanding that when you have kids on Christmas, like, they fucking wake up at the crack of dawn because they're so fucking excited and they wake you up.

So, I don't think like they're all just waking up at six because they feel like it.

It's like the kids have been up for hours and they want their presents.

Yeah, but like, I think in general, they just wake up so early.

And

I wish I could be that way, but I can't.

I even tried to wake up an an hour earlier today to work out before today's toast.

And I was like, why?

I like, my alarm went off.

I was like, why would I do that?

I'm going back to sleep.

Totally.

Except, you know, I'm on my new sleep schedule and it's actually really beneficial.

So I won't

go into that again because I know nobody cares.

But it was a great episode.

I do agree that they didn't, not that it was their job to like capture the essence of the party on social media, but it was much more

stylized on camera like when i saw it like i actually got the vision it's not what i would have chosen in particular we just saw them like keep showing courtney's interest with these ugly red flowers that they sell at trader joe's like that's what i thought like the big moment was but it was actually really more for the kids they had like the christmas village i thought it was nice yeah i thought it was really nice um

and so i'm glad we're able to see everything in hindsight and like it was it was nice it was nice yeah it was just a good episode like not nothing too crazy scott makes me so sad like um losing both of his parents like within a month of each other and just like not even

like speaking about them ever.

And he like packed it.

I remember that episode when him and Courtney just like literally packed up the house in a day and like didn't even like keep certain stuff.

So he's like, he only had that one box.

Thank God his uncle knew that it was an Audrey's house and they brought it from New York.

But it just made me sad.

Yeah, it is really sad, but he's so cute.

I love the bar mitzvah footage.

I love that we're getting Scott's home videos now because like they were just loving playing home videos.

And it's like, if you ever had a bar mitzvah like on Long Island, like you know it's like when they come around with the microphone and they make you like say something about the bar mitzvah boy like i feel like for anyone who's been in that situation like watching that video was like oh i have that exact same video but like other people wouldn't understand it also he was the most beautiful child i've ever seen leonardo diaprio crazy

Mazzle Tof, Jackie, you did beautiful this morning and you look beautiful, gorgeous.

We're so proud of you.

We love you.

Let's have the best time tonight.

Yeah.

And all the like thick Long Island accents, like that's how ours sounded too.

You chanted your Hatorah so beautifully today.

I'm so proud of you.

Up, up, and away.

Yeah.

Please come up and light candle number three.

Yeah.

No one's was worse than ours.

Now, I want to transition from talking about such a great episode of Kardashians into literally talking about like one of the most disappointing episodes of Real Housewives of New York, one that actually like put me in a depression.

Oh, interesting.

Why?

I just couldn't believe that like

these are the real housewives of New York.

Do you know what I mean?

It's like, especially coming from Beverly Hills, like where Kyle's fashion show, like we like dragged on it, even though like it was really well put together and like there was no real like Sonyas with the dark and the no music.

I just like, I can't believe that like these are the most fabulous women in New York.

It was honestly making me depressed.

No, I agree with that.

And I'm not, and not because I'm going to compare fashion show to fashion show, but like when they were sitting at the table at that restaurant, I don't even know.

And they're just like all screaming about nonsense.

And this is just like a normal lunch and Dorinda, like, okay, Tinsley's saying something stupid, but Dorinda's putting a knife in her ear.

Like, what is going on at this table?

These women are just like deranged.

No, it was depressing.

And to me, it got to a level of real depression when Tinsley was walking down the aisle of that fashion show in sneakers and a crown.

And her mom was literally sobbing that she's back to being the socialite that she used to be.

When like, I'm so sorry.

Like, you are not.

Walking for a designer, I've never heard of looking like JoJo Siwa.

Yes.

Yes.

No, that outfit was such a tragedy.

Those sneakers, like, and even though it's the designer's call, what she wears, like any designer that's going to put her in a Betsy Johnson dress and sneakers, like she's going to her Scott Distic's bar mitzvah, it's just going to be a no for, like, it was.

It was depressing.

And looking at those flashback photos and like, I always want to be the type of person when you look back on old photos of me, you're like, cringe, because I'm so much better now, you know, and like looking at like, looking back on photos in her prime and now just like looking like JoJo Zeeba,

it was deeply upsetting.

And also, you know, what was an interesting juxtaposition?

An interesting juxtaposition was the way that they showed Nikki Hilton.

And Nikki Hilton was like, like she's probably the same age as Tinsley and had a very similar like teen and 20s and, you know, socialite life.

And just like looking at her sitting there with the ribbon in her hair, just like being everything of the sort at Pamela Roland versus where Tinsley's now.

Um, it was sad.

Yeah, that's an amazing parallel.

Also, Ramona being a beast backstage, like with Pamela Roland, like kicking that girl out of the photo.

Like, usually, that's stuff that I love, but something about this episode was just not funny to me.

Like, I was just so disappointed.

Like, I couldn't believe it's maybe it's just because I'm like living for this season of Beverly Hills.

And, like, everything they do is just fucking glamorous.

Like, the dress, everything, the houses.

it's just like everything was making me depressed.

Like the John Medesi and stuff, all of their apartments, like it's just,

it's, I don't feel like it's a reflection of New York City's most fabulous women.

No, but maybe it's just because New York City is not that fabulous anymore.

Also, I feel like the biggest difference is like there's like, look at Sutton Strach.

She's obviously like very wealthy, very high society.

You know, she's looking down on everyone, yet she chose to be a real housewife of Beverly Hills because there is some clout attached to it.

Even when she had that weird dinner with Teddy and Lisa Rinna, and Teddy's explaining, like, before I started being like, before I started hanging out with these women, meaning before I came on the show, like I had a couple hundred whatever clients, and now I'm doing this whole retreat and everything.

And I think Sutton really came on the show because she wants to make a name for herself and she wants her clothing stores to succeed.

And there's a level of prominence that comes with being a real housewife of Beverly Hills.

But then you go to New York and it's like they went to a party with the Sutton Shracks of New York and the way they behaved,

like no.

No, it was so disappointing.

Maybe I was just in a bad mood, but like everything about the episode was making me sad.

Like, and there was a time when like their antics of like being drunk and silly, like was funny and entertaining.

And I just really feel, and part of me, it's now kind of understanding why Dorinda has been such a bitch to Tinsley because it's like.

Dorinda takes herself really seriously and she thinks that she's like some, you know, woman of the night.

She's not, but like, she thinks of herself as like really kind of prominent.

And it's just like seeing Tinsley run around and like live in this delusion.

I kind of understand it.

Yeah, I don't even know who to blame because I don't even know who's like helping the group average and who's bringing it down, you know?

Yeah, I think that to me, the most harmless of them all

is shockingly like Luanne.

She just like doesn't even talk.

She just sits there and she's boring now.

And she takes herself really seriously.

And when they go to parties, like she always is like, thinks she's so highbrow she's the countess and she yeah she's fine she's neutral but like honestly dorinda's fine too

in certain situations like when she decides she wants to be fine but then i'm she's flying off the handle at other times so i think sonia ramona and dorinda are really like the three culprits and then tinsley and lee are just different like it's they're not I like the tinsley fashion show thing was was utterly depressing, but generally speaking, like I think when Tinsley shows up to a party, like she carries herself fine yeah yeah she's not like a public embarrassment

but some of the other women truly are

it's just must be this weird thing where they're really like the biggest celebrities in new york you know if you're throwing a party you want these women there because they're going to bring page six and news stories and what was ramona doing at the tables and that becomes like a whole story and a storyline on tv but um when it comes to the way new york city works i guess i don't really know because i don't know what goes on in the city i don't leave my house like i don't know about society in this city.

So I don't know how they're regarded.

I just know it's not the real house size of Beverly Hills.

Did you feel like Sonia was being passive aggressive in giving

Leah that gray sweatsuit?

Ultimately, no.

I think it was what Tinsley said.

Like Sonia is not cool enough to.

be passive aggressive but i do think that sonia was saying you're so casual you don't dress fancy here's my casual outfit but she just happened to send her a really ugly crazy outfit But she, like, her point was, you're so casual, which was a little sassy.

And even in her interview, Sonia was like, I didn't know she would, most of my dresses are fancy, as if Leah is incapable of being fancy.

Yeah, no, I didn't think it was like this strategically planned out thing.

I honestly don't think Sonia's capable of like plotting something like that.

I think she genuinely, like, probably in a rude condescending way, sees Leah as like this rat from downtown.

So she like threw her a sweatsuit.

So it wasn't like the nicest thing, but I didn't think it was like this, you know, um, planned out thing.

And I think to someone, like, you know, a younger, more downtown person, like there's a difference between um, like a sweatsuit that she could have worn to a fashion show that Leah would have liked versus like a grout fit that you're gonna wear to sleep.

Like the hem of those pants, the drawstring, like the material, like those were pajamas.

And I think for Sonia, who's like lives, you know, in a townhouse, it's like your sweatsuit, your tracksuit is pajamas to me.

So here's some pajamas.

Like, she doesn't see the difference between what we see as like, you know, Yeezy, cool, but that's someone else's pajamas.

So I don't think she was being like i think her only statement was like oh leah you're you're so casual but not like i'm gonna make you look ugly and i'm gonna make you feel bad and you know i i don't think it was it was so malicious but she was making a statement which is that you you don't wear fancy girly dresses like like the rest of us it was a statement

But I think she handled it.

She handled it perfectly by putting it on, walking around, like being like, just so funny about it that you can't be mad at her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, you can't.

I was just like, by the end of the episode, I was like, this is suppressing me.

Like, can I turn it off?

Yeah, you know, I didn't have that feeling while I was watching it, but now that you say it, I do agree.

Like, even them just like sitting at the Pamela Roland fashion show, they're just like so messy.

I'm like, get the fuck out.

Like, honestly, I was embarrassed for Nikki Hilton for having to be like a part of that.

Yeah, they really are just so messy.

And everywhere they go, it's just like a big mess.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But that's it.

Anything else we want to discuss before we let everyone go for the weekend?

Um, just that Camtos has been moved to September 10th through 13th.

So some people who had tickets could no longer attend.

Therefore, tickets are open up.

So go to the link in our bio and our Instagram to get tickets.

The password for the

for the page is French Camper.

It's going to be the best weekend ever.

I'm literally so excited.

I feel like by then, that's in four months, like things will be returning to some semblance of normalcy and like we'll be able to party our asses off.

And I legit can't wait.

I think it's going to be the block party.

It's going to be like that, that big party.

Like, you know, we'll be slowly making our way starting on May 15th to, you know, getting back to regular life.

And then on September 10th, like that block party shirts off, tits out for the boys.

Like, it's happening.

It's happening, you guys.

So make sure to head over to the link in our bio on our Instagram channel,

Instagram account.

If you are looking for more content, all of our TNN shows released new episodes this week.

Olivia released an episode with Amanda Stanton.

Lauren Elizabeth, Margaret Josephs has two episodes this week.

Raven and Alexis, there's tons of, there's a new episode of The Snatchler.

So make sure you're following Toast News Network on Instagram.

And if that's not enough for you, head over to our Patreon channel, patreon.com slash the morning toast.

For $8 a month, you can get five extra premium video and audio episodes from the morning toast.

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Thank you so much for listening to the morning toast.

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Stay home.

Bye.