S3 Ep67: The Beautiful Hump Day: Wednesday, April 15th, 2020

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Thursday.

No, Wednesday,

Pump Day, April 15th.

It should have been tax day.

But here's a bright spot in the darkness that is quarantine.

Your taxes aren't due today.

They're actually due in July.

And instead, you're getting money from the government today.

Stimulus check.

Hey, oh, that's funny.

Like on TikTok, it's like famous relative check, stimulus check.

That is live like golden.

I'm such like in a TikTok mentality because I'm like kind of a star.

Oh, I'm not in the TikTok mentality right now.

I haven't talked in like a week.

I think I'm just like week on, week off.

By the way, I go through the same kind of rhythm flows, you know, so I look forward to getting back on the talk, seeing what the kids are up to.

Um, but I was just getting a little tapped out on the talk.

It's such a beautiful day in New York though.

Stunning.

It's not too warm, though, so it's not really like out in Sarah Alfresco weather because you'd have to wear like a down coat.

It's deceiving, unless you're in New York, you know that it's actually like 40 degrees.

It's freezing, but it looks beautiful.

The sun is shining.

And in the quarantine times, that's all we can ask for because I'm not even feeling sad that I'm not outside because I genuinely don't want to be outside.

Like when I walked to the other this morning, I was absolutely freezing.

But in the quarantine times, I actually love a rainy day, you know, because it's like, oh, we're not missing much.

I would be inside anyway.

Yeah, like watching Twilight.

Exactly.

Speaking of watching iconic high school series, I'm sorry.

Like I watched the Toast Movie of the Day last night, High School Musical 3, and it was...

everything.

Like from the depths of my soul, it was so fulfilling.

That's such a good feeling to go back and watch something that really impacted you as a young child and to know that it still has that same impact.

That same same resonance.

I look forward to recapping it with you guys.

What a fantastic choice.

I'm so glad for my heart and my soul that I watched the high school musical trilogy in the past three days and I highly recommend you do the same.

Can I ask you a question?

Because on the show yesterday, we both made a vow.

And given what my hair looks like and what your hair looks like, it looks like my hair is Eau Naturale and yours is not.

I did not use any heat.

I did not use any heat.

I used pomade to slick it back.

I used it.

It looks like straight.

Oh, well, now like my hair is weirdly straight.

This is my shower hair.

It's so curly.

Honestly, that's what my hair looks like now out of the shower, which is crazy though, because my hair used to be so curly.

Your hair used to be way more straight.

No, mine used to be like so wavy.

Now it's like I'm getting old.

My hair is changing and it's like so not cute anymore.

My hair is just kind of limp naturally, but it, if I need it to like look straight, I can make it look straight.

Yeah, no, I mean, and you know, a little flat iron over your pais, like, never hurting

heat.

Me neither.

No, I didn't do anything.

Like, but today was such a relaxing morning.

No, it was.

And I feel like my hair, like, I feel like it's like an Aquamarine when her ears are like whispering compliments.

I feel like my hair is like, thank you.

Aquamarine is also such a good movie.

Such a good movie, but it's not on Disney Plus.

And I haven't seen it on any streaming services.

So.

Just as for Sarah Paxton, she's constantly being shafted.

She's constantly being shafted.

She wasn't appreciated as the young talent that she was.

And now it's like over for her.

I completely, completely agree.

She's a tragic story.

She was on that show about models with Misha Barton, and it should have like totally hit, but it didn't.

Yeah, I forget what it was called, but it was like about a model apartment in New York, and Misha Barton was like the aging, you know, has-been model.

Was it a reality show?

No, oh, oh, oh, scripted show, and Sarah Paxton was like the young up-and-comer.

And doesn't that sound like a recipe for success?

Sounds iconic.

But no, of course, since I liked it, it got canceled.

Yeah, well, you're a curse to all good television shows.

I completely, completely agree.

I went back to Input 3 for the first time in like weeks to watch Vanderpump Rules this morning, and I saw my DVR, and it just like gave me anxiety.

I have 11 episodes of Dynasty to catch up on: three Blue Bloods, two Shadows of Sunset.

The only thing I really keep up with is housewives, pump rules, and Kardashians.

Other things just like, they gather dust in my DVR.

And even though I love dynasty, I'm just like not in a place in my life where I can catch up on it.

I have to say something like so upsetting because you know I ride so hard for dynasty.

This season has been so bad and I watch week to week and I'm like, you know.

suppressing my emotions.

But two weeks ago, Zach and I sat down to watch and I actually turned it off in the middle.

I was like, I can't watch this.

Maybe if I had a stack of episodes, I wouldn't be minded so much, but it's been really bad.

Well, that happened to to me actually last night.

I've been having this renaissance with One Tree Hill, and me and Ben just like stumbled on

a group of episodes that were just unbearable.

Like, everything's going wrong, and it's annoying.

Like, the people that I like, like, Sophia Bush, can't catch a break.

She's like stuck in such a bad spot.

Like, she's pregnant, and like, everyone knows about it.

And she's like my hero, and she's just not having a good time.

And then like Peyton, who's like the most annoying character on the show, her ever-changing hair drives me insane.

Like, she's thriving now.

And, like, she likes Lucas.

And, like, I'm just, I can't watch shows where the people I like aren't doing, aren't thriving I completely agree and the people I don't like are thriving and I don't know if like when everyone was watching it in the fourth season did everybody like Sophia Bush over Peyton or am I wrong like I don't know because I'm not watching it with the group yes that is sometimes difficult to navigate yeah but it just it got to a point where like me and Ben have been watching like six episodes a night like after two or three we just turned it off and went to sleep damn also um speaking of watching We did get a a promo code for Love Sack, which we had said that we were going to do because we've been talking about our Love Sacks so much.

This is not not sponsored, but we genuinely love our love sacks.

We keep talking about them, so we wanted to get you a code for 25% off.

So use code COMFIE25C-O-M-F-Y25 if you want 25% off your love sack.

It's been one of the best investments of my quarantine.

And 25%

when

a love sack is like $300,0400, like that's a chunk of change off.

Yeah.

That's a good promo code.

Yeah.

It's not sponsored.

Like genuinely, we're not making any money.

Genuinely just trying to make your quarantine a little easier.

So actually a lot of stuff happened in like the last 24 hours, maybe the last like two, three days that we didn't talk about yet that I actually am really excited to talk about.

I have a lot of thoughts on the Michael Booblay story.

Okay.

And I have a lot of thoughts on this Amy Schumer story.

Okay.

So I'm excited to dive in.

I look forward to getting into it.

I feel like I have a lot of housekeeping news just for my personal

sake.

We're recording a new episode of The Redheads this afternoon.

I'm so excited.

This book has been like a fan favorite.

It's a kind of was not a book I had ever heard of or a lot of the Redheads had heard of, but everyone has been absolutely loving it.

I'm so excited to chat with the girls about the book.

We always do this thing on the Redheads where we cast like the movie version of the book.

Which is actually a great concept.

Yeah, and so half of this book is like 15 years in the past and then 15 years forward.

So we're going to have to cast like young Matt, young Grace, old Matt, old Grace.

Jennifer Gardner and I've really been inspired by Little Fires Everywhere because they did such a good job.

So not only do we have to find actors who like fit the descriptions, but they have to look like each other.

So I really look forward to seeing what everyone comes up with.

Make sure you're subscribed to the Redheads Book Club.

Literally, if you start the book right now, you could finish it before the episode drops tomorrow because you can't put it down.

It's a page turner.

It's called Before We Were Strangers by Renee Carlino.

And then on tomorrow's episode, Snitch will choose the next book for the next two weeks because then the next episode will come out the first Thursday in May.

There's also a new episode of The Snatchler.

If you watch that new bachelor show that looks like trash, but I heard was actually pretty good.

Her and Nicole recap it.

And they both also read Colton's book.

So if you wanted to know what's in the book, but you just don't care enough to read it, they're going to recap the book and just basically tell you the important parts.

And today's episode of The Snatchler is called Listen to Your Snatch.

And I'm just like so proud to be

part of TNA.

That's so cool.

And that there's a podcast episode in the store called Listen to Your Snatch, because honestly, we should all be listening to our snatches.

There's also a new episode of Margaret Joseph's podcast.

So if you're looking for stuff to listen to, there's so much here at Toast News Network.

Thank you for being here.

So much.

New episode of Mood with Ward and Elizabeth.

There's going to be a new episode of Maternity Live tomorrow.

I actually like never never watch our show.

It's just like I lived it.

Why do I have to watch it?

But I re-watched yesterday's show because I wanted to show Ben a couple funny things that I said.

Watch the whole thing.

Yeah.

And honestly, like it's such a good show.

I re-watched something that we said yesterday and I was crying, laughing.

Yeah.

And you don't know when you're doing it.

Like, am I doing a good job?

Is this a funny show?

Only until afterwards do you really realize like I feel like I did really good or I didn't really perform well.

And yesterday I felt like we had a hilarious show.

I agree.

Also, there's a siren and I'm like so excited because it means that

there's life happening in New York City.

But we are going to mute our mics.

Oh, we're going to mute for the siren.

Wow, I never thought I'd miss a siren.

Yeah, honestly, the sirens give me like a really bad sense of anxiety, I guess, because it's like an emergency is happening, but not for the person who like needs the ambulance, more for my show, which is terrible.

Terrible.

But what you were saying about our show being so funny, and sometimes we don't realize it until after, very true.

And also, sometimes what happens is I'll say something really funny, and you're already on your next

thought, so you don't process it, and vice versa.

Sometimes, like,

like that account toast toast quote of the day, they'll put in something that you said that was so funny.

And I'm like, wow, I didn't even register that because I was like thinking about my next thing.

Yeah.

So when you watch it back, there's a lot that might have been missed.

Yeah, that's very true.

Very, very astute of you to observe.

Also, something that I want to discuss with you.

I don't know if you're ready to talk about it.

No, I know what you're going to say.

I know you're going to insult my son.

Like, I can just tell by the whole vibe.

Oh, my God.

Not at all.

Because you looked down at Theo and you were saying how he looked like a sewer rat.

So I just wasn't in the room for you to disgrace him.

When all he does is love you.

It's not his fault that he hasn't hasn't like been groomed.

Jackie said he was like, okay, when he got here, he like farted and he just like was looking kind of gross.

And Jackie called him a sewer rat.

And like, I didn't even say anything, but I just thought you were like going to.

dive deeper into that sentiment and I was going to have to defend myself.

I would never.

I understand these are tough times.

Like I'm not using heat on my hair.

Like

I find that his hair is a little overgrown.

Okay.

What I was going to say and the reason why I looked at Theo is because you got stuck in Theo's crate last night.

Oh my God.

You know, that's happened to me one time before.

It's so painful.

But like, okay, so Theo obviously was crate trained and we still have a crate in our house just because he loves the crate.

He doesn't need it anymore.

It's his home.

It's his bedroom.

If we, well, we haven't left him alone in the apartment in like six months, but if we ever do, he usually ends up in there.

It's like a really good,

when we first started training him, the trainer explained why it's like so good for their behavior.

And it's just like overall calm.

I don't know, whatever.

There's a bunch of reasons for it.

I don't need to explain myself.

And now we just keep it in our bedroom.

And he goes, he likes to sleep in there a lot, but like we don't let him sleep in there.

We like make him sleep like in our laps.

And last night he like went in and we pulled him out and we made him lay with us.

And then me and Ben were just like talking and we look at him.

We're like, where's Co?

He like had snuck back into his crate.

I'm like, no, no, no.

But then I was trying to think, like, I keep dragging him into my house.

Like, why don't I go into his house?

And it was a little hard for me to get in there, but like, it wasn't anything crazy.

Like, I do have a fat back.

So, like,

I knew that it wouldn't be like easy to get out, but I didn't.

I didn't see myself being stuck.

Like, because every time I tried to pull myself out of the crate, it hurt so bad.

Those, it's metal bars.

Like, I am in

painful.

And I have very sensitive skin.

Like, if you pinch me in certain parts of my body, like, I will feel the pinch for 30 minutes.

For sure.

And also, you're a major hypochondriac.

No, not a hypochondriac.

I have a very low tolerance for pain.

Like, I

can't take hot baths.

I have a very, very low tolerance for pain.

So maybe a normal person could have just snuck themselves out, but I really, really got stuck.

And honestly, I made Ben like shove my phone into the crate because it was too funny not to.

So funny.

And Ben was filming me from the outside, but then we had to like seriously pause and like get me out.

It hurts so bad.

Actually, I haven't looked this morning if I bruise it.

Oh, actually, it hurts to the touch it really hurt and i was like ready for bed i just what it was like a two-second thing that was like not supposed to get me stuck it was really traumatizing and theo was like get the fuck out of my face get the fuck out of my face we were just like stuck so close to each other was theo like concerned at all or he was like that's what you get it was just annoying because like that's when i wish he was a human being like where he could have been helpful like no he literally just sat there and looked at me yeah

He was like, why is this woman in my bedroom?

Totally.

That's what you get.

Like, leave the kids alone.

Leave the kids alone.

Well, I feel as though that's all she wrote.

It is, definitely.

I spoke to her.

She said that's all I wrote.

Oh, okay, great.

Well, without further ado,

without further ado, we actually have so much to do today because we're doing Gear Toasters, Vanderprim Burles recap, HSM3 recap.

So it is time for the past five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And that's true, Jackie, but you know, I feel like we're all feeling down and I wouldn't want to give anyone another reason to feel down, like maybe give them a case of RDH.

That would be bad.

So let me just come right out and let everyone know that today's episode is brought to you by a new sponsor,

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The idea of like having a game that keeps getting updated, it's almost like a podcast, like you get new episodes, you get new deliveries.

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Me and Ben have started it.

It's so fun.

Like it takes over our whole dining room and it's just, it's, it's just fun to like, it's so sad, but like in this quarantine time, it's like to be a part of something.

Yeah, totally.

I mean, even me, we got our boxes a few weeks ago and I'm now like a huge game person who knew like we were even playing games on the Zoom and this game is like really fun and interactive and creative and I respect it.

Jackie's getting into games and that's truly like all I can hope for.

That's when you know that the quarantine has taken over.

Totally.

Also, today's Wednesday, so we're going to be doing Dear Toasters, which is our advice segment.

We'll do it at the end of the episode after we recap TV and stuff.

And if you ever want to write into our advice segment, it's totally anonymous.

And it's deartoasters at gmail.com.

Shoot us a note.

Anything from weddings to bosses to whatever, we'll hook it up.

Great.

First story.

Amy Schumer changes her son's name after realizing it sounded like genital.

The I Feel Pretty star revealed her decision to change her 11-month-old son's name on the newest episode of her podcast, Three Girls, One Keith, on Tuesday.

Schumer and her husband, Chris Fisher, named their first child Jean Attel Fisher, born May 5th, with his middle name serving as a tribute to their good friend, comic Dave Attel.

She said, Do you guys know that Jean, our baby's name, is officially changed?

It's now Jean David Fisher.

It was Jean Attel Fisher, but we realized that we by accident named our son Genital.

Genital Fisher, which is like a hemorrhoid.

Genital Fisher.

Yeah, which is like a piece of dude.

It's like something in your ass.

Can I just say, like, I've been so connected to to this story because when she announced that her kid's name was jean attel fisher like she's a comedian i thought it was a joke like i thought she named her kid genital fisher like but that she wasn't that wasn't the kid's actual name like it was just a joke she played on the public yeah and so i was waiting for like the real one and then i found out it wasn't a joke but i'm so glad like she addressed it no totally and she said that she's killing two birds with one stone by selecting the name david for jean's middle name because it's her father's middle name and it's a tele's legal first name there's a reason for everything yeah there's a reason for everything could you imagine like the schoolyard bullying?

Is Gene a boy or a girl?

Gene is a boy.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Gene G-E-N-E.

Yeah, no, I know, but then I thought it was a girl.

So I'm like, a girl, middle name, David, is like kind of weird, but actually not that weird.

No, not weird.

But it's a boy.

It's not weird.

It's the gene, like that guy.

Yeah, the guy from Willy Wonka.

Yeah.

Gene Davis, I want to say

David Fitcher.

Gene.

You know, what is it?

I know.

Hold on.

This is on the tip of it.

Gene Marlow.

Gene Willy Wonka.

Gene Wilder?

That's it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's it.

That didn't feel like what I was looking for.

It didn't feel like what I was looking for either, but it sounds totally right.

No, but it's like according to Google, that's Willy Wonka.

No, but that is who we were talking about.

That's who I was talking about.

Yeah, me too.

Hold on.

Now I need to look at famous genes.

I feel like there was another one.

Totally.

What was his name?

Gene Wilder.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was him.

Gene Kelly.

Gene Hackman.

Oh, my God.

We love him.

He's so good.

We do.

Heartbreakers.

I feel like Vom.

Love his work.

Oh, my God.

I love it.

He's my favorite gene.

I just love it that Amy She Moore has a podcast.

And, you know, when she first came out of the podcast, a lot of people were really hard on her.

She gets like a lot of criticism.

Like, every time she does something, it's because she was like so, she like shot to fame.

Like, even though she was working as a comedian for so long, she just like it looked like a lizzo, like an overnight success.

And people were just like so excited for her to fail.

And I love that she's like in season three of her podcast.

She makes like a million dollars a season and like she just doesn't have to work.

And I just love that for her.

Yeah, I love that for her as well because I feel like she really appreciates the fruits of not having to work.

Completely.

And especially now that she has a kid and she like doesn't want to be away from her son.

I've been actually really, I followed her on Instagram a little while ago.

She just became like so preachy soapbox.

And even though I was like agreeing with like a woman's right to her body, like I just couldn't deal with like some of it.

It was just like too much.

But I recently followed her back because her baby content is so cute.

And I love seeing her house.

It's so nice.

I think she lives on the Upper West Side.

Oh, she lives in the city?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, she's really so New York.

She's so funny.

I love her so much.

She's funny.

And I just can't wait for whatever she's doing next.

I think she has like a new series coming out, but it's been a minute since we got like scripted content from her.

That wasn't her special.

Yeah, what's her series?

Love Beth, I think I saw somewhere.

There's also something, she's working on something

that's like based on something.

Do you know what I'm talking about or no?

No, I don't know.

Never mind.

And then maybe I'm making it up.

I heard her.

Oh, maybe that was Pete Davidson.

Yeah, he's working on a TV show like about Pete Davidson, a guy from Staten Island, right?

Yeah, he's working on a movie with Jedi.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Sorry.

Similar family.

Yeah.

Anyways, I'm glad that she righted this wrong.

Yeah, no, this is really funny.

And it's really funny.

and like this would only happen to her.

And I just, I, we have no respect, no choice but to respect someone who can laugh at themselves.

100%.

And like own it, Lisa.

And also, she must have done this a while ago because she was just like casually telling her friends on her podcast.

So she didn't make it a big thing, like, oh, you guys were right.

I'm changing.

Like, cause everyone was obviously calling it genital fissure before, but like, she just did it quietly.

Um, can I just share like a personal life update that's like kind of a big deal?

Yeah.

I forgot to mention during that part of the show.

Um, I have had a during the life update part of the show.

Yeah.

I have had a popcorn kernel stuck in my back bottom left wisdom tooth for three days now.

And I have all my wisdom teeth grown in.

I have a big mouth and there was space for them and they grew in straight and like they're totally fine and normal, knock on wood.

But I thought that like maybe that like that blessing was being cursed.

And I wasn't sure if there was a popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth or that like my wisdom teeth were now starting to give me problems.

And I was like.

scrubbing them so hard with the toothbrush and I don't have any toothpicks in my house.

So this morning I picked up some of those like dental, you know, they look like dinosaurs, like

it's like a toothpick and floss.

Yeah.

I picked it up at 7-Eleven.

Shout out to 7-Eleven.

And I stood in the mirror and I watched the kernel come out of my tooth and it was literally like having an orgasm.

It was like the best feeling in the world.

Like I, I want to do it again.

Like it was so exciting.

What a thrill.

It is a thrill.

I'm someone who gets food stuck in my teeth all the time.

I'm always at the dentist like figuring stuff out.

I got my wisdom teeth out because of it.

Because if you leave that food stuck there too long, it starts to rot.

Not good.

Not good.

How many of your wisdom teeth did you get out?

I think I got all of them out because it was like I was doing one, do them all.

Was it painful?

No, I mean, they just like knock you out and then, you know, you have the recovery.

But I think actually I had a really clean break from them, you know?

They weren't meant for me.

Yeah.

That's always good.

Bens were impacted, so they had to break it and then like take it out piece by piece because you can't pull out a tooth that's not like straight.

And he said like the sounding of the crunch was like he like he was obviously like on drugs, but he hurt them breaking the bone.

Like he said it was a horrible experience.

But I got my wisdom teeth out when we were doing the breath.

So, a lot of you guys were on that journey with me, you know?

Yeah.

And it was like really a short journey.

I think everyone was just, I was like, I just started remembering.

I took off like one Friday and I was back to work on Monday and like my face was

so hard.

I think I just had a good, I had a really good dentist, actually.

He was like super toasty and he like wanted to come on the show after and like talk about teeth health.

By the way, it was Ben's dentist, too, right?

No, Ben's dentist.

I go to Ben's dentist, but then that dentist recommended the surgeon to do the surgery.

Got it.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll go.

He was pretty fabulous.

I love a fabulous dentist, I'm not going to lie.

This next story is a story, a couple that I never thought would come together, but that I am personally shipping very much.

Okay.

It's a Reality Steve exclusive.

Reality Steve was the only person reporting this.

He tweeted that one of the more random bachelor couples that I can't say I ever would have guessed, I don't know how long this has been going on or how serious it is, but I can confirm that Victoria Fuller is currently together in Iowa for the week with Chris Soules.

Discuss.

I love Chris Soules.

Like, even though, you know, he is a big controversy, like, arguably bigger than ours, which is crazy.

Because, in my mind, ours is the biggest.

I can't believe

what happened to him.

Like, the sequence of his life just was not what I expected.

And I really do want happiness for him.

I just don't know if this is it.

I don't know.

I'm like, weirdly here for it.

By the end of the season, I actually really like Victoria Fuller.

Also, I feel like you learn a lot about a bachelor contestant once the show is over.

And I haven't heard a peep from her.

So she's not very thirsty.

That's true.

And I guess maybe she's really looking for love.

Like anyone who would just like go to Iowa and shock up with Chris Soules.

I'm so here for it.

And even though what happened, what Chris Souls like went through was...

Not good.

Like what he did was very bad.

When we knew him on the show, like he was a charming guy.

Yay.

You know?

So I actually, I feel like, and they've both now been arrested.

I feel like they might have a lot in common.

You know, they say, actually, I agree.

Like, it really is true that like opposites do attract and in a lot of relationships like it takes a more tempered person to like bring a psycho you know what i mean like not a psycho but like there's just two different types of personality it's a yin and yin and a yang yeah and i do really see like if this were to be like the truest love story of our time like i do see how like a very common tempered chris souls like could be the guy to like take down like the wild child victoria but not even he doesn't need to take her down but just to balance or like settle her down yeah yeah no it's it's not i mean when i heard heard it, it was random.

And like now that I think about it, it's not the craziest thing I've ever heard.

I just want to know, like, did she fly to Iowa?

Because it's very frowned upon.

Yeah, how did she get to Iowa?

I agree.

And she's only there for a week, so she's just like traveling around the country.

She should stay longer.

Yeah.

Also,

speaking of people traveling during quarantine, there's a little Twitter drama going on.

Lala and Randall have now traveled, I think, again.

They're in like a new quarantine spot.

It's like this beautiful beach house.

I don't know where it is, but they're under fire by a lot of Twitter people.

Why are people upset?

Because you're not supposed to travel.

But they're using a private plane.

I'm like, I'm guessing they're using a private plane.

I don't know.

But you can do that.

I'm just saying that that's what people are saying.

Like, I mean, you know, I'm like, I will go for Lala any day, but like, if you have access to a private plane, like, use it.

Yeah, I guess the thinking is, like, if you're in New York or LA, you could potentially be

traveling with the disease.

Yeah.

And then, like, starting another hub in wherever they were quarantined.

But they were supposed to be getting married this weekend, which is so sad.

So, like, maybe they're just trying to do something nice.

Probably.

Yeah.

But also, I mean, I'm not in the mood to pick up someone's battle.

Like, yeah, by the way,

totally.

That's such a good call.

Like, even yesterday, oh my God, you're so right.

Like, even yesterday when we were talking about Aaron Foster, like what she said, sorry, wasn't a big deal.

And like people were like, I can't believe Claudia and Jackie would defend Aaron Foster.

It's like, why am I falling on like on the sword for like someone else's comment?

Like I make my own dumb comments.

So like that's my cross to wear and like I can live with those, but like why am I always out here like defending or like coming for people?

Like it's, I know it's our job, but like what you just said, I so wholeheartedly feel.

Like, I feel like people are, I'm always getting messages.

I can't believe what you said about like this certain thing.

I'm like, it's literally my job to talk about it, but like, why am I getting in trouble for talking about someone else's thing that got them in trouble?

Yeah.

Oh, I so feel that.

I'm just not going there.

Like, Twitter, do your thing.

Do your thing.

Leave us out of it.

Okay.

This next story, Claudia and I have been talking about all morning because it's really crazy.

Oh, my God.

It's horrible.

Luisana Lopilato defends Michael Blue amid malicious backlash.

She said, quote, I have no doubt who my husband is.

So there's a video going viral of Michael Blue Blay and his wife, Louis Sana.

And it appears as though you should watch it for yourself to make your own judgments because we're not like going to

tell you what to think.

But it looks as though he elbows her and then realizes what he did and like brings her in for like a big

yeah no it was just like a what he did wasn't bad but it was a very small window into a type of behavior that is toxic as hell like he

they obviously they started this live stream and they had both planned planned on planned on saying ola chicas, but she just said ola.

So when she just said ola, he like elbowed her and gave her a face that like really is not normal.

And in his brain, it was almost like he's so well trained in hiding that type of behavior that he instantly was like ready to play it off as a joke.

You have to watch it.

We'll post it on our Instagram.

It's just a very worrisome video.

Nothing happens.

She doesn't get slapped in the video.

Like it was just worrisome.

The face that he pulled after, because like an elbow can be different degrees of

force, you know.

So it wasn't so much elbow, but it was the face after and the dynamic, and then just like the aggressive pulling of her in.

Anyways, people have obviously had their thoughts on the video, and she has put out a statement defending her husband.

She said, we get together every day with my husband to stream live and bring a bit of joy, entertainment, and hope.

And we have to deal with hearing and seeing from ill-intentioned people who come out saying things about our family without knowing anything about us.

And she's, you know, know, saying that

it's not, there is no negative thing happening there.

I mean,

this is just like a really hard story because I feel like if what she's saying is true and there's nothing bad there, then it's sad that everyone is, you know, assuming these terrible things about her family.

It's not that sad.

The other, the other ways.

Both situations are

sad.

One is much, much more sad.

Right.

Like the possibility that she's in a relationship and is now quarantined with someone who is potentially abusive and now the world knows about it but he wrote that statement.

Yeah.

So it's awful and here's just a reminder that if you are quarantined with someone who is physically verbally financially or otherwise abusive please reach out.

There are hotlines.

You could do me on Instagram.

Just know that it's not normal in any way and you should seek resources.

Yeah.

This whole story gives me the biggest pain.

And it gives me the biggest pain.

Especially because we're quarantined.

Yeah.

Like obviously an abusive relationship is horrible on a normal day, but on a quarantine day, I can only imagine that it's worse.

Or like an abusive parent, like anything.

An abusive home life is just horrible.

Horrible.

So I mean the video is.

Decide for yourself.

But she's saying that, you know, there is nothing nefarious going on and that, you know, people are taking it.

and making it something that it's not.

That's possible because people, myself included, we love to do that.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

I just saw something in the video that really did not rub me the right way.

I agree.

Okay.

Bethany Frankl actually helped Leah McSweeney get on Real Houses of New York.

I mean, that's not shocking because they're two fabulous women.

So I just started following Leah on Instagram

because I think she's fabulous and I'm all about her.

And I saw that Joseph's tagged her, so that's how I found her Instagram.

Yeah, same.

And then I saw that she posted a video, it was like a cute little Bravo clip asking how she got on the show.

And she said, actually, I got on through Bethany, but that was it.

And I was like, oh, interesting.

But now she's being interviewed on Darren Karp and Liz Cully's podcast called Scissoring Isn't a Thing, which is a hilarious name for a podcast hosted by lesbians.

And she explained how she was, quote, psyched when Bethany Frankel randomly began following her on Instagram.

She said, then actually, I got a text message from our, I have a facialist that I've been going to for a very long time who, unbeknownst to me, is also Bethany's facialist.

Who's the facialist?

I would love to know.

Oh, I don't know, but she does great work.

So she's like, you know, Bethany Frankel wants me to ask you if you would ever be a housewife of New York.

McSweeney said it was the weirdest text message she's ever gotten, but that's how her name was given to the hit Bravo series.

She also said she still has never met the skinny girl mogul and probably won't anytime soon because she has since unfollowed her on the social media platforms.

Quote, I don't think it's a personal thing.

I don't know what it is, you know, whatever, but I mean I only have gratitude towards her.

That is so interesting.

Also, so I started following Leah and her clothing line, Married to the Mob, is still

in business.

I just assumed that it wasn't, but it is and it's so cute and I'm all about it.

I love Leah.

I'm so confused about this whole story.

Was Bethany casting like a replacement?

Was Bethany at first planning on staying on the show and like she was helping producers bring someone else on or was she she like just throwing someone in so she could bounce?

Maybe like a combination of all three, but you know her and Andy are super close and maybe she just wanted to help them find someone who would give that sort of balance and rational thinking to the to the cast.

And like if she is like really replacing herself because it does feel like Leah is you know Bethany 2.0, then she should have some say in who that person is.

Of course.

And it's kind of how Jill Zarin thought that they brought Heather in to replace her because Heather was like Jewish and like outspoken.

And Andy said that was in fact not true.

They couldn't be more different.

They couldn't be more different.

But I could see how Jill Zaron would think that.

I do because she's like such a narcissist and thought like the whole show was about her and they needed a replacement.

But the whole show really was about Bethany and they do need some like very outspoken, cool girl replacement.

And I think that Leah is, I mean, it's only been one episode, but Leah's doing a great job.

She, I love her.

I know.

She would have to do something like so crazy for me to turn on her at this point because she hasn't even done anything other than be herself.

And I just like who she is.

Like, I can just listen to her talk.

I like her interviews.

I like her bucket hat.

I'm just into it.

She hasn't done anything other than be herself and be friends with Tinsley.

And like, honestly, her staunch defense of Tinsley like could make me hate her because I hate Tinsley.

But it doesn't.

And that just proves how great she is.

You know what else is interesting, though?

So Bethany recommended her, but then she met Tinsley and came in as Tinsley's friend.

So is it like, are Bethany and Tinsley still friends enough that like Bethany would say, hey, meet this girl?

Yeah, there's a lot of like press right now.

And I don't know if it's just like people being bored and making up stories or actual beef between like production, the housewives, and Bethany.

But I hope that's not the case because I would really like in my wildest dreams, like, hope that she would someday come back.

We talked about this story on Monday, how Bethany said something, and apparently Decass and the producers are so depressed about it.

I think it was a page six exclusive, so I think it was really like Ramona and Luanne going to page six and like saying, because they're upset by what she said because she talked about how the ratings are not good, and they're making it like more than it was.

I'm sure the girls are upset, but I don't think Andy gives two shits.

Not, not even one.

Also, talking about like the sadness that is Real Housewives of New York is making me so excited because tonight is the premiere of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

It is?

Yeah, we get Garcelle and then Sutton.

They keep referring to Sutton as a housewife, so maybe she just comes in later.

Sometimes that happens.

Like I don't think they would bring on like, well, sometimes they do bring on two new housewives in the first episode, but like sometimes we start to meet someone and then by like episode four, she has a diamond.

Yeah, that happened with Catherine Edwards.

And who was on at the same time as her?

Eden Sassoon.

Yeah, I think they brought one of them in later on.

But then also they do weird things in Beverly Hills.

Like remember Miss Marissa Zermer, who was being tested one season, they were gonna make her a housewife the next season, but they just wanted to like introduce her.

She was so boring that first season, she never made it as a housewife.

Yeah, on my time hop, I actually just got a notification like five years ago.

Um, I was shopping at Burger Dwarfs, and I ran into Marissa Zermer, and I asked her for a photo.

That's so crazy, yeah, so random.

That's so weird.

How did you even?

I barely remember her.

She was the one whose like dad was

father-in-law.

That's

a stretch, was like a big, big guy in Hollywood, like in the movie industry.

And her last name, Zurmer, means something.

Means something.

It's like if your last name is like Paramount, I don't know.

Or like Weinstein.

Okay.

Fifth and final story, a little content news because that's all we've been craving.

NBC Universal is officially entering the streaming wars with

Peacock launch today.

Wow.

So

Peacock will become available for Comcast Xfinity X1 and Flex customers across the country beginning tomorrow, which is today, April 15th.

NBC Universal executives expect it to be available to all eligible customers by the end of April.

It doesn't cost anything extra on top of your regular bill.

This is an early preview of the ad-supported subscription service.

Comcast still plans to roll out Peacock to non-Comcast subscribers on July 15th.

Originally, Comcast and NBC Universal were going to use the 2020 Summer Olympics as a tie-in for a bigger Peacock launch.

but that is no longer the case.

But because they were still getting it out.

Yes, so right now they have like 15,000 hours of content, I think.

Wow.

And they are doing like this slow rollout, doing it first to their existing subscribers and then more and more and more.

And I mean, this is the time for more streaming services to pop up.

So there's no time like the present.

And I love that it's free, like, especially because it's by NBC.

Like, bitch, I pay cable.

Like, I have spectrum.

Like, I do all that.

To make me now pay more would be annoying.

And the fact that they're like honoring my cable bill for a streaming service, I really appreciate.

That's like HBO also.

Like, I really appreciate that I don't have to pay for another.

I pay for HBO cable.

like, that should get me into HBO, whatever.

Yeah.

Go now, or whatever it's called.

This is this is exciting.

I'm excited to see what content they do have.

I feel like we've been talking about it for so long, but like, it's hard for me to parse out what's the NBC, HBO.

This is gonna have the office.

Uh,

is it?

It's my understanding that it was going to.

Because I'm seeing

some of the shows included our Law and Order, SVU,

30 Rock, Friday Night Lights, Jurassic Park, E.T., and Ray.

well this not seeing anything about the office

does not mean that it's not did i tell you that i restart the office is still on netflix though Yeah, no, they took it off.

No, Zach watches it

all the time.

Yeah.

I thought it was like a friend's.

It got taken off for a streaming service, but maybe I'm wrong.

I think it's still on Netflix.

Did I tell you that I started it?

No, because you knew better.

I had watched like the first three seasons in high school in an attempt to be funny because boys were watching it and I just thought like I wanted to have something in common with boys and it was like whatever and I restarted it and you know what?

I can't watch it.

Like the camera, I get that it's supposed to be filmed like a documentary or something but it is such a shaky camera like I literally could vomit watching it like Michael through the blinds and then like the cameras twisting like I actually want to vomit it makes me nauseous I'm so sorry anybody else have that problem I'm so sorry maybe you should stop watching it speaking of streaming services I know I come on here a lot and I talk shit about Hulu because like literally it's one of the worst streaming services just in terms of navigation like I will like be watching one tree hill go and get a snack and somehow I'm three episodes behind like it never can remember my place and just like the navigation is terrible but I spent almost all day on Hulu yesterday and it really is really like up there for content.

Yes, but it is really annoying that, like, if you want to pause and come back, you're in Siberia.

Like, good luck finding where you were.

But honestly, it's like the only platform I can open now and like find stuff to watch because it has all the Jersey Shore, which I'm, which I'm watching.

It has all of One Tree Hill, and it has Songland.

Songland.

Oh, my God.

You guys, did you watch the first episode?

Yeah.

It was so good.

Okay, can we, can we get into our TV recaps?

Okay, without further ado, now it's the TV recaps.

First up, Songland, Lady Antebellum on the premiere episode of Songland, which is the best, most talented show on the television.

I'm obsessed with all the judges.

I don't know who I love more, but I think it's Esther Dean.

She's just so.

Oh, I'm a Ryan Tedder girl.

Like, I think Ryan Tedder is so talented, and I, and I love his work, and I love Shane, and I love his work, but there's just something about Esther's personality where it's just, I just want to be her friend, you know?

Yeah.

And she's so talented.

Yeah.

Anyways, Lady Antebellum on Songland was everything of the sort.

Now, in the end, I understood why they chose the song that they chose because it's the song that they came there for.

A summer box for the amphitheaters.

Amphitheaters, yeah.

But I wish that that they had also taken the song the long way home oh i totally disagree i thought that ryan tedder's song was the best one and you know what it was a little unfair because all of the songs and i get that songs change all the songs sounded pretty similar to the songs that they came there sounding like but shane mcinally there wasn't one word that was the same from that girl's song.

I'll drink to that.

Like every word was different.

It was more ore.

Like it was just, he basically wrote a new song and now this girl gets a singing writing credit because that's how the show works.

But like he it wasn't really fair like he wrote a new song yeah but I mean that's the writing process you take it's still the same idea which was her idea for the song of like champagne nights but that was their idea but like or just her idea just drinking that's a country song that's not an idea no I would agree also her original song sounded just like Rich by Marin Moff got the same thing

even the new one sounded a little bit like it yeah no Zach and I were sitting on the couch like we're like we know this song yeah I had the same thought process I just I love the concept like the premise of the show It's like so pure.

And you would think that like I would find the parts in the beginning boring where like other people like who I don't know are singing songs that I don't know.

But like I get like teary-eyed every time these people come out and sing songs.

Like it's just so

nice.

When that guy was saying that he performs at the montage in

Park City and they were like, oh my god, I know you.

I was freaking out.

Yeah, that's crazy.

I was like, that's so crazy.

That's just like weird coincidence.

I also just love Lady Antebellum and I feel like I never really get to hear them talk.

Like they just sing.

I know.

And like Lady Antebellum, Antebellum

like it's it's so they're so interesting to me because they're one of my favorite bands of all time but like the music speaks for them.

I feel like I really don't know them on a personal level like I do with some other artists.

And you don't know the dynamics of the band really.

But no, sometimes I get the dynamics and then I wish I didn't know them.

Just like from them being on stage.

But they're just together, they're magic.

Yeah.

And I thought the song The Long Way Home, like it wasn't the song they came there for.

They needed a summer bop, but I would have loved to hear them just have it for their next album or whatever

because I thought it was so beautiful.

Yeah, no,

it always gets to the point where there's never really like a clear winner.

Like I'm always like shocked at what they choose, but I think that Lady Antebellum gave a great reason.

They're like, I'm not not choosing this song because I don't like it.

It's just not what we need in our catalog right now, which is such a good answer.

And like you can't feel bad losing to that.

Yeah, they do need that like bop.

I mean, now there is no ampither, but you know, everyone needs that Boppy summer anthem that's like, you know, it's summer nights, y'all.

That's not the best Rascal Flat song, but it's the one we play when we want to get turned up.

Exactly.

It was just a really good episode i love lady antebellum and all the episodes are good but it's really nice to um watch an episode where you know that the artists are also songwriters oh they're such songwriters that third guy who is the kevin jonas of lady antebellum yeah is like dripping with talent yeah so crazy when he was just like talking about the stuff it was so impressive so like even last season like some of my favorite episodes were random only because i know that these people are actual songwriters and they're not just like saying like and i love the jonas brothers but like their episode was a a little boring because like nick was just like trying really hard to prove that like he is a songwriter when like kevin and joe were like we're not we're just like here to have fun so i really like when like the songwriting is the focus of the episode and that's like lady and to bell and they said we all started as songwriters and then we ended up like becoming a band but i love when like songwriting as the art is like made is the foray of the whole thing yeah so it's never i mean i knew i was gonna love the lady a one because they're like top five of my favorite artists but sometimes it's like i love the megan trainer episode and she wasn't she's not even like one of my favorites i'm so excited for next week louis fonzi Oh, is he next?

Yeah, and so I'm really excited to see.

I've never, I don't know him that well.

I'm excited to get to know his personality and see what songs they choose because like Despacito is, you know, everything.

They have to get the next Despacito on Songland.

They have amazing

people this season.

Florida, George Line, Ben Platt.

They had good people last season too, but like, I just, I'm loving the respect.

Like, it's an honor to be chosen to be on Songland because you don't have to be just like famous.

Like, you have to be talented.

Yeah.

No, if you're not watching Songland, you guys are truly missing out on one of the greatest shows ever.

I agree.

It's um, it's really like Shark Tank is what I feel like it is.

You know, it's like Shark Tank for the music world.

Also, it's one of the shows that Zach and I watch together.

Yes, and I think we have to stop because it's like, you know, how we fight over Shark Tank because I'm just trying to talk, like, oh, which song would you choose?

This song sounds like this.

And he just like can't.

So I think I should start watching it alone.

Also, just like a weird thing that happened in the episode when they turned

Losing You into a duet and they brought out that girl from the Goldbergs.

Oh, I don't know her.

Yes.

Okay.

She is like such an interesting character.

She was on X Factor for singing.

She had a daughter on the Goldbergs.

Yeah.

Are you sure?

Positive.

She does look like her, but I don't remember her name being Haley.

Yeah, it is.

Hold on.

Interesting.

Let me double check that I'm right because I've been following this.

Because everyone was like, Haley.

And I was like, Yeah, because it's NBC, like Haley Orantia.

Yeah.

So she was on X Factor.

I think she was like put in a group and then like she never made it far.

And then she got cast as an actress on Goldberg's and like has been like thriving now as an actress, but she keeps popping up in other places like doing random singing things.

So I think she's really a singer at heart.

She was excellent.

Yeah, she was.

It was a nice touch.

I honestly, Lady Antebellum could have like done all those songs.

And also, they kept on saying like, oh, it's going to be like Heartbreak or Downtown.

But to me, those are kind of the worst Lady A songs.

They're like the cheesy singles.

Downtown is the worst song.

And I'm sorry because Shane McNalley wrote it and they were like, yeah, we made like the amazing downtown.

And I'm like, damn, that just should not speak for your work because downtown is one of my lately favorite Lady Antebellum songs.

Yeah, the songs are like even like bartender, the songs that they release as singles are the worst ones.

The songs on the albums, the slower ones, are the best ones.

American Honey.

I feel like at a certain point, they need to realize, like, we just want to cry.

Like, we don't want to.

But they're obviously leaning into like the data, and the data is telling them that people want to do that.

Yeah, like Brian is doing well.

Yeah, yeah.

And so they're like, hell yeah, all right.

When she was seeing that song, I'm like, that's a song already.

Yes.

That's a song called Hell yeah, all right.

That girl who wrote, who ended up writing the winning song with Shane McEnnelly was so cute.

She reminded me of like Sean Johnson, she she looked like, and also Giannina.

Aubrey O'Day.

Yeah.

She was 100% Aubrey.

She like could be a star.

Like she was like, she lives in Nashville.

She's like cute.

She's talented.

Okay.

She's not going to be, but I'm just saying like she could have been like, she could have been like a

like there's like a million, you know?

Oh, it's not a story, but Russell and Kaylee Dickerson are pregnant.

There was really a lot of stories this morning.

I actually had to

get rid of some.

That never happens.

Most people are surprised, but I'm happening to be related to a psychic named Olivia who actually told me like three months ago ago that she thought Kaylee was pregnant just like the vibe she was getting Maybe it's her pregnant girl intuition, but I'm really happy for them.

Yeah, they see each other So we're gonna jump into deer toasters, which is our advice segment But before we do that, it's time for a word from our sponsors today's sponsor is Thrive Market

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Before we get into Deer Toasters, we have to recap Banner Pump Rules.

Because Deer Toasters to me is too distracting.

I can't think of anything after it.

Yes.

So it always has to be last.

Okay, Tommy Katie's second week, Vegas sweating.

The whole episode was truly boring as hell for me.

I genuinely thought that at first that the bra was like a real thing and I was like, oh my god.

And the fact that it ended up being planted by Lisa is like Loki a really evil prank to play.

No, not even evil.

It's so inappropriate.

She's their boss.

And I'm sorry, like...

You can try and fool me, Lisa.

Like, I know you don't wear bras like that.

Like, I'm 25 and I don't wear bras like that.

Like, only porn stars wear bras like that.

And I know that you don't.

So, like, that was like an attempt for you to make me think you're something that you're not.

No, it's just an attempt at, like, making...

It was like the most scripted sort of reality television.

And Vanderpump Worlds has always prided itself on being not that because it really just generates itself.

And the whole episode was so scripted, it was like a long ad for Vanderpump World's Cocktail Garden.

And I mean, I and the sweet.

I'm glad for them that this aired during quarantine because, like, watching them in Vegas, I didn't care where they were going.

I was just jealous, jealous, jealous, and loving every minute of it.

Like, I want to get on a zipline in Vegas.

I've never wanted to do that in my life.

You know, it also made me realize, like, if I found out today that something happened with our paperwork and me and Ben actually haven't been legally married for the last three years, like, I would be excited.

I would do the same thing.

Like, I would go to Vegas.

Like, that's that actually, the premise of the trip was actually really, really fun and sweet.

100%.

Like, but, and it was a great crew, but yet nothing happened.

Why didn't they go anywhere?

They just went to Vanderpump Rurals for dinner.

It was a great crew, but like, why was Max there?

I have no idea.

They needed to tie into the old crew and they needed someone to sleep with that Vanderpump cocktail party.

They should have invited Dana.

Yeah.

Because she's actually friends to everyone.

It made no sense.

Or they should have invited everyone.

Like, that would have been so fun.

I was really like Team Kristen when she was crying to Sheena.

Like, I felt really sad for her.

And I also, like, I pretty much have agreed with Stasi up until this point.

Like, Kristen needs to make better choices and start to grow.

And, and until she does that, I just don't want to be around her that much.

But, like, leaving her out of your wedding when she was a bridesmaid is so drastic and so hurtful.

And I just don't think it was so necessary because, at the end of the day, what she did is annoying, sure, but it's not like

that

evil.

It's just so random.

yeah.

Like the meanness.

I don't know what it can't be the fact that Kristen is making poor choices when it comes to Carter.

Like that is, this is a dramatic reaction if it's just that.

Yeah, and also it's like, okay, I understand Kristen's making poor choices, so we're gonna cut her off.

But the fact that she so desperately just wants their friendship again, like, should make them be like, okay, if you like, give her a chance.

Yeah, exactly.

You know what I mean?

Like, maybe they would cut her off.

People do grow apart, but like, you don't grow apart from someone who desperately wants to be your friend still.

No, but you're right.

The whole episode is really just an infomercial for like Lisa's partnership with Caesar's Palace, like the general manager wanting to come on, the sweet thing, like her with the keys.

Like, it was just so stage.

And like, I'm really getting, I never thought I would say this.

Like, I'm so over the show.

And even watching, like, I can tell, like, Jackson, Brittany, like, more so Jackson, he is so over it.

Like, he's checked out of everything.

Like, he goes to Vegas and he parties, but like, he is just not into it.

And it's not because it's not about him.

Like, even at his wedding, he was just like not into the filming act, uh, a part of it.

Like, they're over it.

I'm over it.

Like, it's just at this point, I'm liking the younger people more, which is crazy.

Which is crazy.

I just can't believe they went to Vegas, great crew, and absolutely nothing happened.

Right.

The idea for a Vanderpump suite at Caesar's Palace is an amazing idea.

It's amazing.

Like, it's going to be so cute.

It's going to be like Villarosa.

Yeah.

And that's everyone patched up parties are going to stay there.

It's genius.

It's really genius.

I'm happy for Lisa and her business, but as far as like the whole episode, and it looks like next week we don't even get Bo proposing.

You know, there's drama.

So now that's going to be a four-week lead up for a proposal.

So the whole season's about a proposal.

No, it's dramatic.

No, it's it's pulling teeth yeah also i did think it was kind of weird how lisa very graciously like flew tom and katie out but she was on the caesars plane like why didn't she just bring the rest of the group it was only like seven more people i don't know and then lala and randall were already there because i obviously flew private the day before right i just i don't know it's so weird it was really not a good episode like it was really testing me oh except when they had the fake sheena from vanner pump garden that was so funny and when sassi was like i thought she was gonna get on the bar and sing sweet as silver i was like laughing at first, but I was like, wait, that's not the song.

I'm like, oh, that's a boy.

Jackie, literally, me too.

I had to say that.

She's like, bootleg Sheena.

Yeah.

But that whole scene with like her waking up in Max's bed was the most fake thing ever.

Like, why wouldn't Max be FaceTiming his boss when he has a girl in his hotel room?

It was so planned that they're going to call about invoices.

Then Max is going to say something about trashing the room.

So Lisa wants to see it.

She's going to see the hand in the bed.

Like, it was awful.

Awful.

Like, it was a sham.

Awful.

It was a sham.

It was insulting to our intelligence.

Agreed.

And I'm so annoyed that I changed my TV input for that.

Also, Tom Sandoval referred to himself when he got up

as the king of extra.

And that call you made about him like trying to brand himself so he could write a book or have a podcast or a tour is so true.

It's so true.

Love that.

Yeah.

Okay, Dear Toasters, our advice segment.

You can email us.

HSM3 recap.

You're at a time.

I'm so surprised to get to Dear Toasters today.

I don't know why.

I'm sorry.

I'm talking about Dear Toaster.

I was talking about HSM.

Sorry.

Okay.

HSM3, guys.

The culmination.

It's funny.

I've seen the other two so many times, and I've seen HSM3 a lot because I knew every single song, except for the few random weird songs that just did not hit.

Like when they gave Gabriella her solo, like Gotta Go My Own Way song, but it wasn't Gotta Go My Own Way.

They tried a little gospel thing.

It just, it did not stay.

It fell flat.

It fell flat.

The movie itself is so good because we finally get the production value of a theater movie because the first two were made for TV decoms.

And they were good, but it's not, it's not movie theater budget.

No, and some of the scenes, some of the numbers were show-stopping, like the I Want It All, Sharpay and Ryan.

Like, oh my God, it was like they just had money oozing out from everywhere.

They had a little too much money because they gave us the boys are back in that junkyard, which absolutely nobody needed.

Like the boys are back.

Like, where are they back from even?

Chad and Troy are fighting.

Like, Chad is like literally the least understanding, least compassionate friend ever.

Like, he's so one-dimensional.

He's like, basketball.

Like, you can't be in drama and also do basketball.

And Troy is just like saying, like, you know, there's more to me than that.

And Chad's like, how could there be more?

It's just like,

I can't believe they've been friends since kindergarten.

Right.

Anyways, eventually, like in all the movies, Chad gets on board.

Of course.

What was Martha up to?

Oh, Martha has become head cheerleader.

And they did this so subtly.

And I actually love it because in the first movie, she's a brainiac, and they're telling her to stick to the status quo, even though she likes to pop and lock and jam and break.

And then by the third movie, they don't even mention it, but she is head cheerleader for the East High Wildcats versus West High Nights game.

That's beautiful.

And then when they're doing the senior year musical and the main cast members are there practicing, then Martha comes in and she's like, I brought some backup dancers and she obviously brings the whole squad.

And then it really gives the senior year musical like the gravity that it needs.

That's actually beautiful.

It was really beautiful and subtle.

You know, and Disney, I don't think they're really known for that.

Neither am I.

I loved watching the characters develop.

Like, first of all, Sharpei's like wig and extensions, like from the first movie to last movie.

I think she's literally wearing a wig in the first movie.

By the last movie, she has like, you know, that real 2008 long hair wavy that like Miley Cyrus used to to have.

And it just, it brought me back.

And it was good hair.

You know, they got that good quality hair.

That's good.

And even Vanessa Hudgens, her style in the first movie, you need to see the shoes that she was wearing.

Can you please Google Vanessa Hudgins High School Musical 1 outfit?

I hope you can see her shoes because they were atrociously.

In what scene?

Oh, she wears the same shoes the whole movie.

They're like jazz shoes with a kitten heel.

Oh, I see.

They're crazy.

But then by the third movie, like her flower child Coachella personality has really come through.

You know, influenced some of the styling decisions.

That's fabulous.

And she really is such a cutie.

And now Zach and Vanessa, I was reading a relationship of their timeline.

They were dating.

And you were reading a relationship of their timeline.

They were dating the whole time the movies were being filmed.

And like by movie three, like they're so in love with each other.

Like I swear, they should have had the two of them say, I love you in the movie because I think it was just a really good example of a relationship for young kids.

Yeah.

And I think that they were truly in love because at the end, like when Troy's on stage and he was like, I've chosen basketball.

And I was like, woo, he's like, and theater.

And I was like, woo!

And he's like, and I've chosen the person that makes my heart so happy or some shit like that.

And he goes to Berkeley to be closer to her.

And it's like, he's got the best of both worlds, you know?

Yeah.

I mean,

either they're really, really good actors, which I don't think is the case, or they're truly in the actual activity.

It's oozing out of them.

And like we've said, that's what makes the difference between a very, very good...

romance movie and a fucking stellar one because these two people can't keep their hands off each other.

Right.

Even their kisses are just like good kisses as opposed to to stage kisses.

That's why I think like the whole 50 Shades thing was like a huge failure.

I completely, completely agree.

If those two people had been obsessed with each other, like we would, it would just take the movie together.

We would not even have like any sexual chemistry.

And that's why I think even Hunger Games, like it's like, who did she even end up with?

Who is she in love with?

I don't even know.

They were both so random.

So random.

She ends up with...

PETA, but it's which would never happen.

They couldn't have had less chemistry.

And also

her and Liam Hemsworth, I wish.

Like, I feel like they definitely kissed her.

They definitely hooked up on set.

There was more chemistry between them.

Yeah, which is why you like rooted for them.

And he's hotter and taller than PETA.

Yeah.

So anyways, overall, just the whole thing.

And I think back in the day, we used to think that HSM2 was like the dog,

the failure.

But I loved HSM2.

I think maybe at the time I didn't appreciate it because like maybe we were still living in the suburbs and I had beautiful vistas to look at.

But now I'm like, this country club situation, like it's so stellar.

The songs were so good.

It's so good.

And I loved how they really made it different from HSM 1.

Then by HSM3, Miss Darbis is back.

And she's really like the moral compass of the whole franchise.

You need to re-watch it just for her because I think you would have a deep, I think, justice for Miss Darbis.

I think I am Miss Darbis.

Is what should have been served all along.

Sharpe is still

so self-centered and nothing redeeming about her in the third movie, but at least she like keeps it contained to just herself.

But people were like, I think justice from for Sharpe comes from the third movie.

I was like, oh, she must like, maybe she was the one who like flew Gabriella back from Stanford or something.

Right.

No, she's still all about number one.

She throws Ryan under the bus so many times and there's never any redemption.

Now, I think I might watch Sharpe's Fabulous Adventure to see her character arc.

Okay.

But I love that at the end, ultimately, Kelsey and Ryan get scholarships to Juilliard.

And I can't think of two more deserving people.

Yeah, Kelsey was like the quiet hero.

But she wrote all the songs and they're fabulous songs and she deserves to go to Juilliard.

Agreed.

In the first movie, when during auditions, she's wearing this v-neck t-shirt from Urban Outfitters that had like this crazy pattern on it.

And I had it when like the movie came out, and like I never in my life felt so cool.

Wow.

I'm like, Kelsey, I'm like, you see that shirt?

Yeah, but it's from Urban Outfitters.

Sickening.

Sickening.

Honestly, that was a fun trip down memory lane.

It was so much fun.

So I don't know if you're participating in Toast Movie today.

I'm not.

I'm going to tell you guys what I'm watching tonight to continue this trip.

Tonight, I will be watching the Hannah Montana movie.

Oh, that's beautiful.

And then after that, when I get around to it, I will be watching the last season of Hannah Montana.

Hannah Montana Forever.

I'm actually in the middle of it on Disney Plus.

Disney Plus is such a fabulous movie.

It's so fabulous.

So if you want to watch along with me, I'm so excited to watch Hannah Montana, the movie.

It has literally been one of the like forming

foundations of who I am as a person.

And I look forward to seeing her again.

It's also the first movie we went to at midnight, like in theaters.

It came out on a Friday and we went at Thursday on 86th Street.

There was literally not a seat open.

It was so crazy.

It was so crazy.

And I thought I left my iron on the whole time and I was like, had a pit and it was unenjoyable.

But then I saw it two more times in theaters so that I could like, you know, undo that feeling, but I still remember it.

I don't want to rush you but like is it time for dear toasters now?

It is time.

Okay.

Dear toasters, I need some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about two and a half years.

We lived together and our quarantine was going surprisingly well until last night.

We got in a blow-up fight, drunk of course, and now we haven't really spoken.

I'm sure you two can imagine how hard it is dancing around each other in a one-bedroom New York City apartment.

What would you do to reconcile in your mind how you

how you'd recover if you didn't get back together.

I'm worried I said something in anger that we'll never recover from.

Have you ever said something brutal in a fight and come back to it?

I hate being a downer during this period, but you feel like my friends and always keep it real, but make me laugh.

And I just want to know how you'd cope, help a scared and sad scene, PS, smirch drop is everything of the sort.

And retail therapy is what I needed.

XYXO, thank you for the laughs.

Okay, thank you for writing in, but I need to know what you said.

Yeah, and here's the thing.

I've said things that were like super harsh and that like hang over us.

And that even like to this day, it's like that thing that I said.

But it always comes from some sort of truth, you know?

And it's like, even though I wish I hadn't said it because it it hurt your feelings, like that is how I felt.

Of course, no, no, I only say things for the most part that I mean.

So even though like I've said some really mean things to men and he said some mean things to me, actually not really.

I'm usually the one who says the mean thing.

But sometimes I've said it and it's just what, not what he wanted to hear, but what I needed to get off my chest.

And I really don't have regrets about that.

Yeah.

There are two people in this relationship and I understand that your feelings are hurt too.

But like I obviously was driven to a place to say something.

Yeah, and also acknowledge that was probably a nicer way to say it, but the sentiment that you're feeling, it's like, that is actually how you were feeling.

So unless you said something that completely you don't mean, then that's actually easier because you can say, I didn't mean that.

I just, you know, saw red and I wanted to say the meanest thing possible.

Yeah.

I need to know what you said.

Yeah, that's really tough to have that sort of fight during quarantine.

Imagine like breaking up during quarantine and then you're quarantined.

Oh my God, that's awful.

I need more information, sis.

You ought to write in and let me know.

I'm sorry.

I can't give advice to things that are so general.

I understand you not wanting to tell us.

Just think of like the worst possible thing.

And she said it.

Well, like, what is it?

I cheated on you or I think you're ugly.

Think you're like, it wouldn't be, I cheat on you.

That's like she did something bad.

Yeah.

And if she didn't do it, she could say, I made right, right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Um, just work through it.

Like, even if you want to break up with him, like, just wait till all this is over.

And also, sometimes, just like you need time.

So, if you guys need to stay in separate rooms for a day, two days, like, let it blow over.

This two shall pass.

If you're meant to be together, like, you guys will get through it.

Sometimes fights make your relationship a lot stronger because you've said the thing, you, the other person knows how you feel, and now they can work on making it better and changing that thing that upsets you so much.

So, fights aren't always a bad thing.

In fact, more often than not, it's a good thing.

Like when you're not fighting in a relationship, it's not a relationship yet.

That's true.

It's like a friendship.

And in the words of Garen Headlong and Greta Paltrow in the iconic movie Country Strong, which maybe I will watch tonight, timing is everything.

Yeah.

And how does that apply?

You had said timing is everything, and I tried to interject with that quote, but like you wouldn't let me because you had like something else smarter to say.

So I just like wanted to get in my quote with, even though it doesn't make sense.

You were saying like take time apart because sometimes time is everything.

Yes.

Beautiful.

Okay, next up.

Thank you, Claudia.

That's beautiful.

Dear toasters, I have become really close with my neighbor who lives across the street.

She's about 65 years old and a widow of two years.

She recently discovered Instagram and has been talking all sorts of people, stalking all sorts of people.

She now thinks she has been talking to Carlos Santana romantically.

She came to my house a couple weeks ago with a pizza saying Carlos ordered her three pizzas to her house.

I didn't think much of it until I realized he probably had to ask for her address to order pizzas to her house.

Oh my god.

I texted her, but she didn't reply.

The next day, I went to her house to have a a talk with her about the whole thing.

She let me in and I saw that she was playing Santana YouTube videos on her computer.

She was smiling and singing along.

It was so sweet and she was so happy that I couldn't tell her.

She doesn't have a lot of family around.

So this is, so this Carlos person, whoever it is, probably means the world to her.

However, I'm concerned about her safety because she lives alone with her dog, who is everything, who was her everything, just passed away.

Any advice on what I should do?

Sincerely, a concerned friend.

Oh, my concerns are legitimate.

Like if someone from the internet is asking for your address, it's not just to send you pizzas.

It's to come kill you.

Oh my God, that is so upsetting.

Well, this is so pure her dancing around her kitchen listening to Carlos Santana.

Like, maybe it's Carlos Santana.

I'm sure this.

My first, like, at first, I want to be hopeful.

So, I want to say, like, I feel like between all of the toasters in the universe, like, someone has a direct line to Carlos Santana and can find out if he's talking to this woman.

Like, maybe Carlos Santana's married, and like, this woman is, like, his mistress.

And we're out of it.

I'm fucking jabbing.

So, So it's like,

Carlos who finally gets a call.

I listen to this podcast

and we're like blowing up his spot.

And he's like, no, no.

Oh my God, that is so funny.

Like, I'm sure it's not funny.

I am.

But to God, it's that situation.

Oh, my God.

That is so funny.

I actually can't breathe.

Oh, my God.

You have to tell this woman.

Like, honestly, but what can she do?

The guy has her address now, just keep an eye out.

I don't know.

This is like an episode of Catfish, but I gotta get Max.

Yeah, but it's like the catfish, I guess they have their addresses in, you know, things could get crazy.

Maybe like get her a home alarm system or something.

Yeah, or like, I don't know, a guard dog, a Rottweiler or something.

But let's also check in with Carlos Santana.

You know what?

We can find out if he's married.

Yeah, Google it.

Also, this is going to be crazy.

Who is Carlos Santana?

Oh, you know him.

It's just he's a musician.

He's solid all

game no he's featured on that song that's what I thought um Carlos Santana relationship

let's see

hmm I think he is married wait that doesn't relationship isn't a good keyword research marriage or wife yeah yeah yeah that's good or husband actually

Carlos he proposed to his drummer in 2015.

Oh, that's so cute.

Oh, he's married.

No, no.

Okay, so he married.

Oh, yeah, no, he's married to Cindy.

Cindy Blackman.

Cindy Lauper?

No.

Okay, well, honestly, you need to protect this woman.

Like, this is really not funny.

And, like, this is why certain people should have scandals on their hands.

I would love, like, not to break up a power to marriage, but like, if this was Carlos Santara.

Yeah.

Okay.

Final one.

Oh, this is good.

To my favorite Ashray sisters, an MLB pitcher recently DM'd me on Instagram.

We talked for a few weeks and then he started texting me.

It's not super flirty and he's kind of weird.

I'm an accountant who is busy.

I don't respond super quickly and he's busy with his business outside of baseball.

So we maybe send a few texts every few days.

I'm interested in him but don't know what to do to keep his attention or be more flirty.

Also I don't want to be too all over him.

Please help a toaster out.

You're the best.

This is such a tough time to be texting with an MLB player because like you can't go on a date obviously.

We used to know a girl who like had a business of like DMing

famous deskball players.

Yeah, all and like actors too.

And then like

sexting with them and like ending up like getting to meet them and like going on dates.

Yeah, it wasn't a business like she

was a hobby.

It was a hobby where she would just like hook up with famous athletes and famous people.

No, I think it's a tough time to be like texting with an MLB player that you can't go on a date with because like you said you need to keep his attention.

I think he probably gets like any nude photos he wants at any time and like you probably want to date him I'm assuming and that's a lot of pressure.

That's just a lot of like whether you want to send nude photos or not like it's a lot of pressure to know that like that's something that other girls are sending to him.

I have no idea.

Like I've never been in this situation.

Me neither.

And like you have so much time to fill with conversation.

Like you don't want to burn out.

Less is definitely more.

I just do your absolute best to be like so funny, so smart, so charming while also being very like subtle and like hard to get.

I don't know.

I'm like so bad.

Also, that sounds like a lot of work.

And I feel like actually what my work here is like going silent, you know, and then he'll be like, oh, what happened to her?

And then like, that's a good way to keep someone's interest to be like a little mysterious.

But if you're an MLB player, like I'm sure like you have a bunch of girls, like some of them respond something.

You know, I'm sure they all respond.

I'm sure there are some that don't.

That's possible.

I'm sure there are none that don't.

And so you could differentiate yourself by doing nothing.

This is very exciting for you.

Did you slide into his DMs?

It was on.

She said he recently DM'd me on Instagram.

Ooh.

So he likes what he sees.

Interesting.

Well, that's

an update.

You just got to bibe your time, like play, like run out the clock of quarantine.

Exactly.

The shot clock is running down and just like dribble.

Dribble.

Just like you're Nathan Scott, just dribble.

You got to, gotta, gotta get your head in the game.

That's, that's the best advice.

And you know what I love about high school musical?

What?

All of them, like, they always ref they keep referencing back.

Like, it's so meta.

They, like, in every movie after the first one, they're like, we're all in this together.

And then they'll be like, what team?

Wildcats?

What team?

Wildcats?

What do you think?

Get your head in the game.

Get your head in the game.

It's like, they're referencing themselves.

And even the last song in the movie, it's high school musical.

They're singing a song about the title of their trilogy.

That's cool.

And it's really meta and self-aware.

And I'm all about it.

That's funny.

I like that.

I think that's it.

That's our show for for you guys.

Please follow me on TikTok.

Like, I really want to get to 100,000, and I'm at 70.

So, girl with no job.

Um, follow Jackie too if you want, Jackie.

Oh, follow me at Jackie O Problems, premium content, y'all.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast Millennium Morning Show, where we go live Monday through Friday, 10:30 a.m.

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Bye.

Bye.