The Toothless Wonder: Tuesday, November 11th, 2025

Speaker 0 Good morning, girlies. It's the toast.

Speaker 1 It's Jackson Claude and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know.

Speaker 2 We'll start your day off swirly. It's the toast.

Speaker 2 I sound amazing.

Speaker 2 Welcome back to the toast and happy Tuesday. Today I've chosen to spend the morning with the person I chose to spend my life with.
It's Ben Soffer, celebrity, my husband. Hey, Ben, how you doing?

Speaker 1 I'm doing excellent on this beautiful frosty morning.

Speaker 2 You guys are freezing in Florida. It's like in the 40s.
Everybody here is drinking hot chocolate.

Speaker 1 And honestly, it is a complete dream. I woke outside.

Speaker 1 I woke up. I went outside in my shorts.
And let me tell you, I was too cold. I had to throw on a sweater.

Speaker 2 It's also snowing in New York, which I am kind of devastated. to be missing, I can't lie.

Speaker 1 I'm not. Honestly, like snow in New York is fun for like one second and then it turns to slush and then you're like, this place is absolutely vile.
Yeah. Every ounce of dirt.

Speaker 2 When it snows in New York, all people do is like blame the mayor. Yeah, for sure.
It's like the snow never gets cleaned up. It's all over the street.

Speaker 1 By the way, it's something to blame the mayor for.

Speaker 2 1,000%. Like,

Speaker 2 this is literally your job.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like set up. What are they? I was going to call it a Zamboni.
Yeah, Zamboni. Yeah, but that's not what it's called.

Speaker 2 Like a Zamboni.

Speaker 1 Street cleaner. For the snow.
Street cleaner. A Zamboni.
No.

Speaker 2 What's it called? The truck. Snowplow.

Speaker 1 Snowplow. Yeah.
Snowplow.

Speaker 2 Ben is here with me today. He was also here on Friday.
I haven't even spoken because I chatting yesterday and she was a guest. And, you know, you have to like treat your guests, like let them talk.

Speaker 2 But you're like, you know, old news. We didn't even talk about the fact that nobody who is a regular co-host of today, of this show showed up on Friday.

Speaker 2 It was an unprecedented event where nor Jackie nor I were on this show. You and Olivia hosted like two randos.
Totally. And let me tell you, I try not to read the comments during maternity leave.

Speaker 2 Jackie was telling me because like, you know, everybody's used to just me and Jackie. And even when if it's a great episode, people are always just like complaining.

Speaker 2 And it's like, you work so hard on a maternity leave episode, you're doing it all by yourself. Just for people to be like, well, I like you better when this person.
And it's like, okay, great.

Speaker 2 So I really don't read the comments because I'm just doing my best. And I was very curious to see what people were saying when, you know, Jackie and I both didn't show up on Friday.

Speaker 2 And I just wanted to say I was sick. I know everyone's saying, like, you were faking.
Ben thought I was faking too.

Speaker 1 You're having a tough week. We're going to talk about that in a second, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you are.

Speaker 2 So I went to the comments to see what people were saying about you and Olivia. Have you read the comments?

Speaker 1 Of course. Glowing reviews.

Speaker 2 I never got comments so nice about my own show in my whole fucking life.

Speaker 1 No, no let me tell you me and olivia did you listen to the episode of course not we were firing really no no no it was uh you can ask ben our our wonderful producer it was like a ping pong match back and forth there was never a single second of silence wow and i'm not gonna lie i was i was incredibly funny well you know you did have to like represent our family and we crushed that said we had one boring conversation about food and a lot of the conversation a lot of the comments were like you and olivia should start a cooking podcast you know how boring a cooking podcast don't mock my commenters only i'm allowed to to do that.

Speaker 1 There's only like six of them.

Speaker 1 And they were like, you and Olivia should start a cooking podcast.

Speaker 2 You actually should, well, a cooking podcast. What do you do?

Speaker 1 What's a cooking podcast? Talk about cooking. Yeah, no, talk about cooking.
Yeah. Unless we did like a Burt Kreischer Something's Burning, where like.

Speaker 2 Oh my God, Ben went on this show once.

Speaker 1 How many times are you going to talk about Burt Kreischer? By the way, you're obsessed with him. He's so funny.

Speaker 2 When we were in LA, Ben went on. Burt Kreiser has like a YouTube series where he interviews people, but he cooks for them.
So it's like in this big kitchen, they sit at his barstool. He's cooking up.

Speaker 2 He's like a big, fancy cook. And he's also telling crazy stories.
And they're telling it's a, it's a really great concept.

Speaker 1 So Ben and josh went on it wouldn't tell you ben has brought it up 1000 times we went to burt kreiser's house and let me tell you tell you about his mansion he has a mansion next to a mansion he has a content mansion where he lives and then a mansion he's a content mansion where he makes content and then a mansion where he lives and you just walk in and it's the most gorgeous kitchen you've ever seen i'm not gonna lie i was a little jealous is the wrong word it was actually inspired

Speaker 2 inspired it was inspiring and you give credit to burt kreischer but i give credit to burt kreiser's wife because you know she was like well you're not cooking in my house with all these people.

Speaker 2 Totally. Buy the house next door, Bert.

Speaker 1 Totally.

Speaker 2 Totally. And he classically am.

Speaker 1 And he has his like 250-person tour bus just parked outside.

Speaker 2 Is that your, like, I know Stanley Tucci is one of your

Speaker 2 heroes? Sure. Like, someone you look up to whose career you would like to emulate.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Do I want to emulate Bert's? No.

Speaker 2 Would you throw Bert in that category of people who inspire you?

Speaker 1 I would definitely say that it's inspirational, but no, I don't want like apples to apples.

Speaker 2 That's not what I was saying that you want apples to apples. It's called inspiration.
The movie board.

Speaker 1 It's inspiration.

Speaker 2 Who else would be inspiration for you? Stanley Tucci, Burt Kreischer. The duality of man.

Speaker 1 Aina. Aina.
Aina. Sweet Aina.
Yeah. She's fantastic.
Maybe,

Speaker 1 no, I was going to say Emerald Lasagna, Mr. Lagasse.

Speaker 2 Emeral Lagasse.

Speaker 1 Emeral Lagasse. Maybe like a Bobby Fley.

Speaker 1 No, but it's really Stanley. Stanley's the gold star.

Speaker 2 Stanley's the gold standard.

Speaker 1 He crushes. I just watched him on Ina.
Fantastic.

Speaker 2 You just watched him on Ina? I did. We did.

Speaker 1 You weren't really paying attention.

Speaker 2 How did he meet his wife? Were you? How did he meet his wife?

Speaker 1 I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 2 Yeah. On the set of Devil Wears Products.

Speaker 1 Emily once. Oh, I watched it.

Speaker 2 I knew that. And how many times has he been married?

Speaker 1 Three.

Speaker 2 Twice.

Speaker 2 I do want to just quickly, I feel like we're talking about you like a little too much. Let's circle back to what happened to me yesterday.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got a root canal.

Speaker 2 Come on, wait, just like.

Speaker 1 You said what happened to me? You got a root canal.

Speaker 2 I said, let's talk about what happened to me.

Speaker 1 What happened to you is that you got a root.

Speaker 2 You got a root canal. That just makes it seem so routine.
You You know, I've had this little pain in my tooth a couple of days. I think it was.

Speaker 1 A couple of days? You've had this pain in your tooth for 18 months.

Speaker 2 Okay, so when I was pregnant, a part of my tooth did fall out

Speaker 2 at Bloomingdale. I was just, I was actually the gift wrapping.
I was buying a gift. I wonder who for, oh, for you.

Speaker 1 Really? I'm grateful.

Speaker 2 Led Crusade set for your birthday.

Speaker 1 What'd you buy me? Size, medium, Gucci,

Speaker 1 technicolore t-shirt. Thank you so much.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Ben,

Speaker 2 just remind me to come back to the root canal because I have to tell everyone that story. Like 10 10 years ago, it was Ben's birthday.
And like, I didn't know what to get him.

Speaker 2 And so I went to, everyone was talking about Dover Street Market.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was in 10 years. It was probably like eight.

Speaker 2 I was why is that a big distinction?

Speaker 1 Because it wasn't that long ago, seven years ago. I was 260 pounds.
He was big.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was Ben's big era.

Speaker 1 She went to Dover Street Marketing.

Speaker 2 Let me miss the story. Okay.
I went to Dover Street Market because that's where cool kids were going.

Speaker 1 Really? Just Kanye West?

Speaker 2 It was the first and last time I had ever been there. And they had like a little Gucci thing, and they had like limited edition stuff.

Speaker 2 So this black Gucci t-shirt that had like the classic Gucci logo, you know, red and green, but instead of red and green, it was like shiny rainbow.

Speaker 1 Global on pride. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they only had it in a size medium. And I was like, perfect.

Speaker 2 So I gave it to Ben. And I will say to your credit, at the time, you were like, oh, it's so cool.
Like, I don't know if it'll fit, but like, whatever. We can return it and exchange it.

Speaker 2 Of course, we never did. And the way, you guys know I'm the sweeper.
I get rid of everything. I sell, I donate, I throw out.
Like I'm always getting. We can't get rid of this t-shirt.

Speaker 2 We cannot get rid of this t-shirt. And actually, so much so that in our recent recent move,

Speaker 2 I said, you know what? It's time to part with the t-shirt. We sent it to the real world.
Did I ever tell you what happened? Yeah, they won't accept it.

Speaker 1 They won't accept it. Who is a lovely gay gentleman in our life? Who's like a little

Speaker 1 medium? No, it's really not. It's not porky.
You actually need to be quite slim. Who's a slim individual that would like that shirt?

Speaker 2 Joe.

Speaker 2 Joe? Joe G. Joe Grun.

Speaker 1 Traffic for him. Maybe.

Speaker 2 Maybe. That's a good one.

Speaker 1 It would be, yeah, that would work. So, did you ever wear it? No, it never fit.
Right, right.

Speaker 1 It goes like up to my belly button.

Speaker 2 Okay, can we go to the root canal story?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you got a root canal. So,

Speaker 1 okay, wait a minute, like buried the lane.

Speaker 2 I was in the Loomy Nails dressing room. I must have been like five or six months pregnant.
No, I was in the Blue Man Nails gift wrapping center. And I'm like,

Speaker 2 all of a sudden, a big piece of tooth comes out. I'm like, oh, that's good.
My tooth is decaying to the point where pieces are falling off. We love that.

Speaker 2 Now, everyone knows pregnancy is like notorious for dental issues. The babies literally suck all the nutrients out of your body.
No calcium to buy cavities.

Speaker 2 And I was like, well, I know I have a cavity, probably a really bad one. I can't do anything about it.
So let's just move on. And let me tell you, it never hurt.

Speaker 2 I just like knew it was bad because pieces were falling off. Can't stress that enough.

Speaker 2 Then I gave birth and I was like, you know, I got to take care of this tooth at some point, but it never hurt me until the last couple of days. I was starting to feel a little sore.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, the cavity must be getting like a little big. Called up my friend, Dr.
Mark Leichtong, asked for a recommendation.

Speaker 2 Went to a Pargy dentist yesterday, walked in thinking, I'm like, all right, I'm going to have to get my cavity. You know, cavities are kind of a big deal.

Speaker 2 So I was like probably going to have to get a shot of Novocaine. I was going to have to dump my breast milk, like so annoying.

Speaker 2 Even though they say it's breastfeeding is safe, like why take the chance? So I'm preparing myself. The doctor says, this is one of the worst things I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 It's gonna be a root canal. And I said, right now? And even bring headphones.
She's like, yeah, well, right now. We can do it right now.
And I knew if I left, I was never coming back.

Speaker 2 So I was like, you know what? Fuck me up, fam. Which tooth was it? I'm so glad you asked.
Number 15.

Speaker 1 So that's the second to last on the back left?

Speaker 2 Wow, yes, it is. I forgot that Ben interned at a

Speaker 2 Dr. Marker Legitung at his office for many summers.
Yes, um number 15.

Speaker 1 so really they could have just pulled it well so it was so bad would have even known it was gone yeah but then i'm just like a toothless wonder like that's insane you are you're you're it's you're in your final form it's insane toothless wonder

Speaker 2 not to have a tooth um so it was crazy i got so much novocaine so much and you know what it actually didn't hurt she did a wonderful job later in the night when the numbing started to wear off before bed last night you were a torture

Speaker 1 an absolute terror it really hurt and then this morning we didn't even talk about it mark texts you how was it oh you know i was just in like a little bit of pain last night this is literally claudia we're watching a show

Speaker 1 because you know like tooth pain just hits you out of nowhere and also let me say something before you before you get to the screen are you okay are you okay i'm not okay

Speaker 2 if i could just say one thing i know you're like new to like the space of being a public figure like sometimes things happen like in our private lives like you don't have to tell everyone that like i was screaming like you could just say i was in pain no you were you were screaming in pain Because you know what?

Speaker 2 Toothpain just comes out of nowhere. It's hard.
Boom. Up to your brain.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's terrible. I remember literally saying to you, was it like a lightning bolt?

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then you're like asking.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 2 then you're like asking a lot of annoying fucking questions about that.

Speaker 1 Can I help you? You can't. You literally can't.
I could actually, because I went and I got you a cold.

Speaker 1 A nice ice pack, and you're like, no, I'm not using this. And then I looked to the right and you used it.
And you're like, I'm like, is it to make you feel better?

Speaker 1 You're like, yeah, actually, like, it like kind of made it numb. I'm like, yeah, that's what it does.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what it does. It numbs the pain cold.

Speaker 2 I just realized, like, I don't want you coming on the podcast anymore.

Speaker 2 You're really annoying.

Speaker 2 I just feel like I'm not getting enough credit for raw dogging a root canal.

Speaker 1 Not only did you raw dog.

Speaker 2 No headphones. Yes.
No TV. And there was a TV on.
I was like, are they going to ask if I want to put on Netflix or anything? No, nothing. No stimulation.

Speaker 2 Just like listening to the sounds of a root canal. Yeah, you crushed.
I have to go back for a crown.

Speaker 2 And then she's like, you got a bunch more cavities. You got to come back.
I'm like, yeah, sure. See you later.
Once I get that crown, girl, you're never going to see me again.

Speaker 2 And I'm just going to take really good care of my teeth. Like, how? And that's a crazy thing.
I'm so meticulous about oral hygiene. You are.

Speaker 2 It's like, and that's when people are like, you have a cavity or root kind of like you sound gross, you know? No, that's ironic. Oh, I know what you're going to say.
That's ironic. Yes.

Speaker 2 What's ironic is that I'm so annoying about dental hygiene. I'm always encouraging you to be more hygienic because you're low-key gross.

Speaker 2 And Ben's favorite fact about himself is that he's never have a cavity. Never had a cavity.
Well, you haven't been to the dentist, by the way. I have.

Speaker 1 I have. I go once a year.

Speaker 1 That's the proper amount of time to go.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. Nobody's ever told a bigger lie than you saying that you go to the dentist.

Speaker 1 I go once a year. The last two years before that, it had been a

Speaker 1 fucking lie.

Speaker 2 I literally get it. Ben, you don't even have a dentist.
And don't you dare say gallery? Yes, I do.

Speaker 1 Gallery.

Speaker 2 No, you have not been to Gallery Dental.

Speaker 1 I have. You are such a disgusting.

Speaker 2 You are such a disgusting liar.

Speaker 1 I'll get them to call you.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to call them.

Speaker 1 My records.

Speaker 2 I'm going to call them as one of the husbands.

Speaker 1 That's my record.

Speaker 2 Oh, we got to talk about the show we started last night.

Speaker 1 Of course, of course, my records. Yeah.
But wait, I want to remind you. On my moral health journey, okay?

Speaker 2 Bet started tongue scraping two days ago, and now he thinks he's like the fish.

Speaker 1 Way to

Speaker 1 give it away. Yeah.
Just like that. I bought us two just like that.
You give it away.

Speaker 2 Lauren Bostic put me on.

Speaker 1 You're going to tell the whole story. Yeah, isn't it annoying?

Speaker 1 Isn't it annoying? Isn't it annoying?

Speaker 1 Isn't it annoying? Okay, no. I started tongue scraping.

Speaker 2 Two days ago.

Speaker 1 And let me tell you, my breath. Oof.
I'm scraping my tongue and then I'm using my new favorite mouthwash, swishables. Unbelievable.

Speaker 2 I really am getting annoyed.

Speaker 1 Swishables, tongue scrape, swishables.

Speaker 2 I'm actually getting annoyed at this conversation, okay?

Speaker 1 Why? Because you told me to do it and I didn't listen to it.

Speaker 2 So like a couple of years ago, I actually talked about it on the podcast. How I was looking for low lift wellness things.

Speaker 2 Like I wanted to get into wellness, but I was too fat and lazy to like do anything real. And Lauren Bostick had, I think, done like an episode or something about low lift wellness and tongue scraping.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, I can do that. And I bought a pack of two on Amazon that came in these little orange boxes.
And I literally left it on your side of your sink for years.

Speaker 2 I think I just threw it out because you never used it. So to hear you waxing on like you invented tongue scraping is so fucking annoying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm actually really thankful to Zackie for turning me onto it.

Speaker 2 That was really

Speaker 2 for you to sit here and be like,

Speaker 2 my breath. Fantastic.
Ben's breath for years.

Speaker 2 I have talked about it on the toast.

Speaker 1 Just absolutely for context. Claudia in Another Life was a police dog.
Let me tell you, like, she can smell. Yes.
She can smell what the neighbor four floors up is cooking for dinner.

Speaker 2 Yes, I have low tolerance for bad breath.

Speaker 2 Having said that, for you to just like brush past being like, oh, my breath is so much better, like you were making me sound so annoying for how much I commented on your breath.

Speaker 2 Now we can all agree your breath was not normal.

Speaker 1 I think it was slightly below average and now it is way above average.

Speaker 2 And I just,

Speaker 2 I love this journey for you. Like I love your oral hygiene journey.
Me too.

Speaker 2 And so it's like the fact that you're the one who's never had any cavities when I'm over here begging you to scrape your tongue. Sorry, genetics.
It's genetics.

Speaker 2 So I just hate like telling the story when people are like, literally talking about it's like making my tooth tooth.

Speaker 2 But it's like the connotation. It's like kind of like when you have lice, people are like, oh, you're gross.
Your house is dirty. Meanwhile, lice love clean hair.

Speaker 2 It's just like, I hate, like, I have to caveat by saying, like, I take amazing care of my teeth. You absolutely like.
It's a byproduct of being pregnant. You do.
All the nutrients in your body.

Speaker 2 Like, your body has no ability to fight bacteria. So I just want to say, like, it's not my fault.

Speaker 1 You know what's a sham?

Speaker 1 The toothbrush.

Speaker 1 Okay. So now

Speaker 1 facts. Oh, God.
The tongue scraper was invented over 3,000 years ago. True.
The first toothbrush popped up in the 1700s. The modern toothbrush was invented 80 years ago.

Speaker 1 And let me tell you, this is not what's most important for dental hygiene. It is really the tongue scraper.

Speaker 2 Okay, so you're making your root canal about my root canal about yourself.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just sharing fun facts. You have any fun facts to share?

Speaker 2 Yeah, my tooth hurts. That's not a fun fact.
And the hardest thing is like when I'm in pain or I'm just like

Speaker 2 experiencing distress, which I am right now, the only real way to comfort myself is to eat.

Speaker 2 Oh my God, having dinner last night, I was in hell. I did end up having a milkshake, so I was fine.

Speaker 2 But, like, being so hungry and unable to eat is a feeling I would not even foist upon my worst enemy. Yeah, who's your worst enemy?

Speaker 1 Who's my worst?

Speaker 2 I actually feel like I've asked you this question in

Speaker 1 my worst enemy.

Speaker 1 I don't think that I, even if I knew who it was, I couldn't say it here.

Speaker 2 Of course, you could just like mouth it to me. Do you have a worst enemy?

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 2 Good for you.

Speaker 1 Somebody that I, oh, actually, yeah, I do.

Speaker 2 Whisper to me here.

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 2 Like, who know you?

Speaker 1 Who?

Speaker 2 Or he's just an enemy. Yeah, that's your enemy.

Speaker 1 He's an enemy. Fuck him.

Speaker 2 Fuck him. Do you know who my enemy is? Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw what you were about to say.
Yeah. I mean, I would say it right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would say it right now.

Speaker 1 TL?

Speaker 2 Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Fucking bitch. Fucking bitch.

Speaker 2 Bitch. So we actually have a lot to do today.
We have amazing stories, and we have deer toasters. Our crazy co-host is joining us for deer toasters.

Speaker 1 Amazing. I'm going to give, by the way, I give amazing advice.
Okay.

Speaker 2 That's the second biggest lie you've ever told.

Speaker 1 I give amazing advice. And it's so nice to be around people who actually want to hear it and need it and requested it.

Speaker 1 The people who are calling in.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they were expecting Tammy and Jackie. Well, not wishing.

Speaker 1 Surprise.

Speaker 2 Also, was I right about the headphones?

Speaker 1 No, like it's the same thing. It's just like, why are we wearing headphones in person?

Speaker 2 I like wearing the headphones when we're in the studio because first of all, I sound much louder than you because I'm actually talking into the microphone, but we don't.

Speaker 1 So am I. No, you're not.

Speaker 2 Now you are.

Speaker 1 Why don't you fucking move your chair in? Because I'm good.

Speaker 2 Please. Look how much closer I am.
Okay, perfect.

Speaker 2 But also, doesn't it make like you can hear yourself? It feels like more of a performance. Don't you feel like you're being funnier and more charismatic because you can hear yourself?

Speaker 2 I know that sounds crazy. No.
Because this is, in my opinion, one of your best performances on the phone. Agree to disagree.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, you got to listen to me on Friday. I think I'm just like in my podcast era.
God, you're so fucking annoying.

Speaker 2 Crushing. Should we dive into the fast five? There's a lot, and I know there's you want to talk about.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

Speaker 1 That was so fucking crazy.

Speaker 2 Are you done? Yeah. Without further ado, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Speaker 2 All right, Ben, are you ready for the Fast Five Stories?

Speaker 1 I absolutely am. What's our first story?

Speaker 2 So I chose it for you because normally like I wouldn't care because I feel like when it comes to Hillary Duff's music renaissance, like I've seen what I've needed to see, but I know you're a really big fan of her.

Speaker 2 So she is playing her first live show in over a decade. She has announced a mini tour.
She says, so it's starting in London, but for the first time in over a decade.

Speaker 1 Like, why? I know. Why can't you start in America?

Speaker 2 Because you want to know why. She's probably really nervous.
And as somebody who has toured before, not musically, comedy, you do do like smaller. You do do.
Yeah, you do do.

Speaker 2 Not less important, but like less high stakes venues before because you're nervous you know she's probably working through the songs the vocals the in-ears so by the time she gets to new york she'll probably feel like the the show is ready that's what i would assume So for the first time in over a decade, the 30-year-old sing 38-year-old singer and actress announced that she will be returning to the stage for a series of intimate live shows.

Speaker 2 The tour is called Small Rooms, Big Nerves. It's a mini tour starting in January 2026.
She also released her song, Mature. So there are four shows.
First is London.

Speaker 2 Second is Toronto. Third is Brooklyn.
And then four is LA.

Speaker 1 Where is the Brooklyn? When is the Brooklyn show?

Speaker 2 January 27th. Are you going to go? Here's the thing.
You're kind of our Hillary Deaf correspondent.

Speaker 1 I was ready to go until I heard intimate.

Speaker 1 Intimate to me means probably acoustic.

Speaker 1 I'm not into that. I saw Third Eye Blind acoustic.
I didn't need it. I needed them full blast.
I actually saw them, I think, like in like a Brooklyn bar.

Speaker 1 And it sounds really cool, like 100 people, third eye blind, guitars. No, No, like the song is meant to be sung the way that it was produced.

Speaker 2 It depends on the person and like their discography. There are certain people I would love, like Taylor Schwift's songs are all written on guitar.
Oh, like perfect acoustic queen.

Speaker 2 Some music lends itself to the acoustic, you know, the drama of the acoustics of the theater, and some don't.

Speaker 2 And I would not disagree with you that Hillary Dust music doesn't really lend itself to the acoustic.

Speaker 1 I don't think Coming Clean is gonna, like, is that a great acoustic song?

Speaker 2 Probably sounds pargy. Some songs are just so good.
They sound like.

Speaker 1 Can you sing anything? What is that?

Speaker 2 I'm Coming Clean.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't get any of the songs. Like,

Speaker 1 oh, let the rain fall down.

Speaker 2 Keep hitting the

Speaker 1 dreams. Let it wash away my sanity.
Cause I wanna feel the thunder. I wanna scream.
Let the rain fall down.

Speaker 1 I'm coming clean. Hey, Harmony.

Speaker 2 This is what Jackie feels like. This is fucking annoying.

Speaker 1 That was really good.

Speaker 2 It was, but like, please don't do it again. That was so good.

Speaker 2 We also did listen to hillary duff's single remember yeah i kind of thought it was shite yeah it was like shockingly not good given the fact that she's married to like a pretty clitically critically clitically

Speaker 1 you like that newscaster

Speaker 2 a pretty

Speaker 1 critically acclaimed music producer it low-key stunk yeah um i wasn't a fan it's just like Make a song that sounds exactly like the song that we really like. Right.
It's like so rude to her.

Speaker 1 Like don't evolve. Like don't evolve.
Right. She should be able to.
But don't. it's sad.
Like, no, really, don't. Like, just like, do, do what you've done and do it again.

Speaker 2 You know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's not my favorite.

Speaker 1 No, it's not my favorite, but

Speaker 1 I would love to see her. If the timing works out, I would love to see her.
Maybe we can do a little meet and greet.

Speaker 2 Well, why don't you go? Me and Hillary. And I'll stay home.

Speaker 1 No, you're coming.

Speaker 2 No, I just, I don't leave the house much these days. So if I do, it's got to be something I really want to do.

Speaker 1 Sure. Like the Jonas Brothers.

Speaker 2 I would go to the Jonas Brothers.

Speaker 1 Are we going to the Jonas Brothers?

Speaker 2 When is it?

Speaker 1 Sunday night. No.
We'll be back. Why? Why? Why? No.
I'm going. Okay.
Who am I going with?

Speaker 1 Am I really going alone with Mark?

Speaker 2 Maybe your girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Am I going alone with Mark? Let me take your girlfriend. You don't want to go? No.
You don't want to go.

Speaker 2 No, by the way, I do want to go, but like, you don't know what it's like. Like, I really need to prepare.

Speaker 1 Okay, so let's just think. Who could they possibly bring out and how pissed will you be?

Speaker 2 Taylor Swift or Luke Homes.

Speaker 1 They'll bring out neither of those people. So I'm good.

Speaker 1 I want like Natalie Ambrogio. Was that enough?

Speaker 1 have they had Natalie Ambroglia?

Speaker 2 Definitely.

Speaker 1 I don't think they have yet.

Speaker 2 Ben, I'm telling you, go.

Speaker 1 Who else? They had Click Five already, right? Yeah, I would have been. Tor is killing it.

Speaker 2 Um, I want to do uh two stories next about Chris Shannon's birthday party, which we spoke about yesterday, but it looked so sick.

Speaker 2 And more stuff is coming out about the party that's making me chuckle, um, but also making me curious. The first is that Megan Markle was there, which is just crazy and fun.
Harry was there too.

Speaker 2 And Kim posted a picture with her, Chris posted posted a picture with her. And they both deleted the pictures.

Speaker 2 What? Yeah. So, Kim Kardashian has seemingly removed a photo of Megan Markle from her Instagram photo dump celebrating Chris Janner's birthday party.

Speaker 2 Initially, Kim had included a picture of Megan in a carousel of pictures. The image showed Kim and Megan posing together, smiling for the camera.

Speaker 2 Kim was wearing a slinky purple gown, and then Megan was wearing her black ensemble. And then Harry was spotted in the background, sporting a tuxedo, having a conversation.

Speaker 2 He was kind of like ruining the photo, and it's gone.

Speaker 1 That's weird.

Speaker 2 They were there and then they weren't. Everybody else in the carousel seems totally untouched.
So strange. Yeah, and then Chris had deleted a picture of Harry and Megan too.

Speaker 2 Now, it's no secret that they were there. So

Speaker 2 why the photos would be removed? It does seem like Megan or Megan's team just reached out and asked for the photos to be removed.

Speaker 2 It's so lame.

Speaker 1 It's just like the opposite of what she's trying to do.

Speaker 2 And this is the type of event, like I feel like that really endears her to people. Everyone's talking about this party.
It looks so much fun. And it's all positive, right? Everybody loved the theme.

Speaker 2 Everybody's like, the Kardashians do stuff. Sometimes they hate it.
People hate it. Sometimes people love it.
People are like, oh, you're responsible for climate change.

Speaker 2 But this was just a good old-fashioned fun and scene. Like, everybody's loving it.
I think it was a really good place for Megan and Harry to be. You know, Beyonce was there.
Like, everybody, hi.

Speaker 2 So, like, why you would want that removed? And now we're all talking about the removal. I'm sure she thought like nobody would notice.
Megan does not understand how the internet works for sure.

Speaker 2 And so she thought like it would just get removed and nobody would think anything of it. But of course now we're- Why want it removed? Maybe she liked the way she looked.
I don't know. Who cares?

Speaker 2 No, literally, who gives me a crazy thing?

Speaker 1 The Kardashians are posting you. Right.

Speaker 2 And you know, the Kardashians like edit all their photos and they edit everyone to.

Speaker 1 She looks great. Do you have a picture of her? She looks great.

Speaker 2 I feel like it had more to do with Harry in the background. You could, he was tilting his head down.
You could kind of see like his bald spots.

Speaker 1 Ah.

Speaker 2 And there's a lot of talk about whether there was like an era last year where he wore hats a lot. So people thought he flew to Turkey to get not flew to Turkey, but you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 To get his hair transplants. Then

Speaker 2 he resurfaced, still balding. So we're like, oh, never mind.
Maybe he was just really into hats.

Speaker 2 It was not a great photo of his scalp, but like we know he's the most famous guy in the world. Like we know you're balding.

Speaker 1 It's like that's exactly what it is then. You think? Yeah, Harry wanted it removed because of his bald spot or his team.
Sounds like he needs neutrophil.

Speaker 2 But now, but now we're all talking about it more.

Speaker 1 No, it's it's it was the wrong move.

Speaker 2 It was the wrong move. Absolutely.
I feel like whether it's them or the people around them, like they're constantly being given bad advice. Totally.

Speaker 2 Because everyone knows, like no one would have thought anything of the picture.

Speaker 2 Now we're studying it, being like, well, maybe they didn't like this and now we're pointing out all the bad things in the picture whereas we would have just let the picture slide you know who looked amazing at the party let me think who you're gonna say

Speaker 1 oprah chris oh agreed well that actually is a great segue into this next story about chris jenner looked amazing she looked like not even 50 40.

Speaker 1 she looked really really young and i did see that picture of oprah oprah doesn't look like that Doesn't look like what?

Speaker 2 She also you thought it was an edited photo of Oprah?

Speaker 1 Unless she also went to the same surgeon and nobody spoke about it as Chris Jenner. Oprah also looked like 30 years younger.

Speaker 2 So apparently the surgeon was at the party. Wow.
And according to us weekly,

Speaker 1 quick nip and tucks at the party.

Speaker 2 The plastic surgeon Stephen Levine was the most popular person at the birthday batch.

Speaker 2 So Levine was a big hit among the guests as his client's star-studded birthday batch and literally the best walking advertisement for his handiwork, Chris Jenner.

Speaker 2 So the insider said everyone joked that he was the most popular guy at the party. And Jenner and Levine posted a picture together.

Speaker 2 She included him in her carousel where Megan was also removed from.

Speaker 1 See, if it was Megan and Harry, they wouldn't have told anybody that she got a facelift.

Speaker 1 The Kardashians are so transparent, whether you like them or not.

Speaker 2 They're not, actually. Chris's.
Recently. Chris's.
For years, people have been begging, begging, begging the girls to talk about what they do. And anytime they've spoken about it, it's been like

Speaker 2 through a veil of truth. It really being like, funny, I got a little, yeah.
I mean, think about Kim's ass.

Speaker 2 She got it x-rayed on the old show, keeping up with the Kardashians, being like, there's nothing there. That is not a natural ass.
And she still never to this day admitted like what it was.

Speaker 2 And then a couple of months ago, somebody made a TikTok being like, Kylie, please tell me what you asked for when you got your tits done. And then she did, right?

Speaker 2 Because these tits are like the best tits ever. And I want these tits.
And Kylie commented, like, here's what I asked for, and here's the doctor that I went to.

Speaker 2 And there was so much positive feedback to that, being like, yes, Kylie, that now, and you can't ignore how different Chris looks. Like, it's so obvious.
Now they're leaning into it 100%.

Speaker 2 They talked about the facelift on the new season of Kardashians. This is a type of transparency people have been begging them for.
And they came to it in their own time. And I do respect that.

Speaker 2 But oh my God,

Speaker 2 we've been pleading with them for years, to be honest with us. They look amazing.
We just want to know. We're not asking to judge.
We're asking because we want to copy it.

Speaker 1 Got it. Got it.

Speaker 2 So, yes, you are applauding their transparency. It's a new thing, and I love it.
Yeah. And I want more of it.

Speaker 1 And Chris looks amazing.

Speaker 2 Chris looks insane. And it's so nice that they invited the doctor.
I mean, I heard that a facelift from this guy costs a quarter of a million dollars. He has like a four-year wait list.

Speaker 1 Um, did he do Bezos?

Speaker 2 Bezos's face?

Speaker 1 His face is different.

Speaker 2 So is Bradley Cooper's. Oh, we talked about this today.
We talked about this. Do you think Bezos has a different face? I do.
I have, I don't look at his face.

Speaker 1 I do think that Bezos has a different face. Was Caitlin there?

Speaker 2 That's a great question because on the new season, it seems like

Speaker 1 seems like they're buds. I didn't see Caitlin in any pictures.

Speaker 2 You're right. Caitlin Jenner birthday bash.
I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Was Caitlin there?

Speaker 1 You're kidding.

Speaker 2 I don't see anything about it.

Speaker 1 I hate when she's snubbed.

Speaker 2 Me too, because I'm a Caitlin apologist. She's an OG.
She's fucking hilarious. Hilarious.

Speaker 2 First of all, oh, this is an interesting article. Guess how much the party costs?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Are they including, like, obviously Bezos didn't charge her for the mansion.

Speaker 2 Right, no. Venue is not.

Speaker 1 Venue's not included.

Speaker 2 So it was just like a black tie. It was basically like the nicest wedding you've ever been to where they didn't have to pay for the venue.

Speaker 1 i'm shocked by this figure probably like a million dollars they had bruno mars perform he probably charges okay okay but he is it is it what she paid or what somebody would pay what she paid i think she i think she paid now that i know that bruno mars performed i still think a million dollars flat

Speaker 2 okay am i right i think it's a long one you're so wrong oh yeah you're so off luxury party planner so this is an estimate by somebody who plans these types of events according to the daily see but that's different i know that's different well talk about what do you think it costs?

Speaker 2 Not what you paid.

Speaker 1 What do you think it costs? I think that it costs between $3 and $4 million.

Speaker 2 This person's saying it likely costs between $4 and $6.50.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I was pretty close.

Speaker 2 I bet Bruno Mars. Did it for free? No.

Speaker 2 No, Bruno Mars, but you know he is crazy gambling dead. He doesn't get out of bed for free.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think he charges at least $2 million.

Speaker 1 But I don't think that he charged

Speaker 2 Jenner that. I do.
Yeah. Really?

Speaker 1 What an amazing performer to have on a birthday.

Speaker 2 I don't think you could have chosen a better performer.

Speaker 1 That said, I told you what I want to do, right?

Speaker 2 By the way, the cost for a private Bruno Mars concert ranges from approximately two and a half to five million dollars.

Speaker 2 That's insane. But you know what? I don't think that they're, he's probably on the same level as Beyonce.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 In terms of what someone could charge, he's just as, he's not as famous as Beyonce, but he's, his music is universally beloved. So good.
Perfect for old, young generations.

Speaker 2 He's apata, but he's also, you know, 24-carot magic. He's kind of, if I could have anyone perform at an event of mine, it would be Bruno Mars.
Who did we see?

Speaker 1 We saw like his production partner, DJ.

Speaker 1 um anderson pack and he was amazing he's a dj yeah they have a like a little band together called um but he like played a lot of bruno that's why i was yeah no they work together a lot so for my birthday this year i know that you don't think that i'm gonna make it happen april 3rd is my birthday okay you know who's playing in new york on april 3rd at 6 p.m

Speaker 2 Boys like girls.

Speaker 1 Boys like girls. What are they doing after?

Speaker 1 Probably nothing. So I'm going to get them.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was like, okay, we can go see Boys like Girls for your birthday. He's like, no, no, I want them to perform for me, probably.

Speaker 1 Probably perform for me. What do you think they would charge me for a private concert, 100 people? Again, they're already there.
Right. It's gravy.

Speaker 2 It's not, the thing is with these performances, it's more so about you have to pay for the sound system, the tech. Like, that's what makes it.

Speaker 1 Is there any chance that they hear this and they just say, I want to do it for free?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Boys like girls. By the way,

Speaker 1 I want this for my birthday. She fucking wants this.

Speaker 2 I am the biggest Boys Like Girls fan. The biggest.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You literally like songs that I had never even heard of. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What's your favorite song? I was like Low-Key Emo. What's your favorite song?

Speaker 1 Turn it up.

Speaker 2 It's five minutes to midnight. You're coming home with me tonight.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That was a great harmony.
It was. That was sick.
We should start an emo punk alt rock.

Speaker 2 I don't have to take it too far.

Speaker 1 Because we should start.

Speaker 2 We should just have a nice moment.

Speaker 1 You want to start a band? No.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 2 This thing's story like nobody cares about, but I do. Who is it? Sidney Sweeney.
So So she's been promoting this like turnt movie, Christie. Do you know about it? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So it's a type of movie where she's like taking herself so seriously. She has like gained 30 pounds.
She's like became ugly. You know, like she did this whole body transformation.

Speaker 2 I believe she's like a producer. She's like a lot vested in this movie.

Speaker 2 And it's just like she's doing so much for this movie and I don't understand why. And now the box office numbers have come out and they're truly abysmal.

Speaker 2 Sidney Sweeney's movie Christie has ranked among the worst wide box office openings with $1.3 million opening weekend, which is insanely low. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Now, people are saying it has a lot to do with Sidney Sweeney's American Eagles. Yeah, she's just

Speaker 1 looking so stupid.

Speaker 1 The rap. Idiots.

Speaker 2 So, well, actually, what they're saying is that there's more awareness of her American jeans, American Eagle jeans ad than there is about the movie.

Speaker 2 And you would think, like, you know, all press is good press. Everyone's talking about Sidney Sweeney.
They might go see her movie. And I feel like it's more so just how stupid this movie is.

Speaker 2 And I respect Sidney Sweeney's like hustle. Like, she really wants to be taken seriously as a serious actress.

Speaker 2 And so, this was, you know, her Margot Robbie moment, you know, complete transformation, you know, when Margot Robbie turned into Tanya Harding.

Speaker 2 And Margot Robbie also like produced the movie and it was her production company. And I feel like she's doing a lot of similar things to Margot Robbie.

Speaker 2 Like, very beautiful woman, but can be anything, can be a chameleon, can be a boxer.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't know why you're doing all that. Like, you're very pretty.
Like, people, no offense, like, want to see you just like being beautiful and acting super, like, super justly.

Speaker 2 And I just don't know why she's doing all this, like, like, taking her teeth out and, like, getting bloody. Like, why?

Speaker 1 I know. It's, it's so hard.
Like, actors always want to be what they're not. It's so dreadful.

Speaker 1 It's like you become so famous for something, and all we want you to do, it's just like we spoke out with Hillary Duff. Just make more of the same music that was really awesome.

Speaker 2 I know. And it's like that stifles their creative process, but like, we don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 I know. It's really tough.
It's like, do you want to feel fulfilled? Or do you want to make good stuff?

Speaker 2 So every now and then it pays off.

Speaker 1 I feel like, you know, who recently, like, low-key very quietly, like, for so long, Steve Corell was just comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy and he like very successfully you know why became a serious actor difference you know why why because steve carell is unbelievably talented yeah he can do anything like too often these non-serious role players try and play serious roles i haven't seen sydney sweeney's me neither serious movie and maybe i will maybe it's good carry you said Christy.

Speaker 1 Christy. Okay.

Speaker 2 Based on a real story. No, there are a couple examples of people who have successfully like done different things.
Like I'm trying to think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm saying incredible talents. Robin Williams, incredible talent.

Speaker 2 Melissa McCarthy, like when she's put her toe into serious, she does great. Incredible.
But she also knows what she's good at.

Speaker 2 And I feel like she had like an era where she was trying to be taken seriously. And she did really good.
That movie with Bill, what's his name?

Speaker 1 The Blasio.

Speaker 2 No, what is that guy's name? Not Bill Maher.

Speaker 1 Bill, the old guy?

Speaker 2 Old comedian guy. Cosby?

Speaker 1 Murray. Thank you.
Murray.

Speaker 1 That was my next guess.

Speaker 2 That movie was great. St.
Cloud or something. It was like a series.

Speaker 2 But like, she eventually went back to what she does. Yeah.
And it's like,

Speaker 2 it's okay to just like have a lane.

Speaker 1 Totally. You know? I totally agree.

Speaker 2 And I feel like Sidney Sweeney is really trying to do everything. She's the face of a million brands.
She's doing rom-com. She's doing scary movies.
Now she's doing serious body transformations.

Speaker 2 And it's like, well, not everybody can be good at everything.

Speaker 1 I would love to say that she's killing it. Of course.
Just putting that aside. Yeah.
She's killing it. Separately, she absolutely needs to be in like a James Bond.
Oh, totally.

Speaker 1 Like, where is that part for her? Great call, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, they did just name a new bond.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she should be the Bond girl. It would crush.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I do feel like they're going to give Bond Girl to like a young ingenue who's like, who's going to be like, this is their first breakout role. Sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So that they can pay her nothing.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 But also, that's like kind of the Bond thing. They make people out of the Bond thing.

Speaker 1 Or she needs a DiCaprio movie. Her and Leonardo.
Something. She needs something like that.
Because

Speaker 2 she's like the most famous woman in the world. Yeah.
And a lot of her

Speaker 1 roles are not good. Her roles are not good.
They're not good roles. Who's her agent? Yeah.
Her agent's stakeholder.

Speaker 2 She's really involved in her own career. I think she wants to emulate that of Margot Robbie.

Speaker 2 Whereas Margot Robbie was just like a really famous actress, but she ended up becoming like, she's a movie maker. She makes all the movies that she's in.
Itanya, Barbie. Like she's a director.

Speaker 2 She's a producer and an actress.

Speaker 1 She was also, though, in what was that movie with Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio where she had that

Speaker 1 time in Hollywood?

Speaker 2 No, no. And also Wolf of Wall Street.
Like, yeah, she had those roles.

Speaker 2 She's on the Oscar level. Sydney's like trying to get there in a really weird way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she doesn't, she doesn't have those roles yet, and she needs those roles. I have roles.
I have roles too.

Speaker 2 The final story is like some of the best news I've ever heard.

Speaker 1 What? I have roles.

Speaker 2 Why are you laughing?

Speaker 1 I have roles too.

Speaker 3 So relatable.

Speaker 2 Our Fit The Final Story is like, and it's hard for me to talk about my boyfriend while my husband is here, but Robert Pattinson is talking about Twilight.

Speaker 2 He's doing a lot of press because he's in this new movie. I think it's called Die My Love with Jennifer Lawrence.

Speaker 2 And they're both talking, like she's, I don't like think about it this way, but she's in like a Twilight. She's in Hunger Games.

Speaker 2 And I know that's how she got her star, but like, I never think about it. I'm just not a Hunger Games girl.
I am. But Twilight is like the same level as.

Speaker 2 And so they've both been talking on this press tour a lot about Twilight. Oh, they're both in the same movie? They're in it together, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, I have to see this movie.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's not what you think it is. What is it? It's like a turnt movie, I think, about like...
Too turnt? No, I don't, I actually don't know. I think they have a baby and like it gets weird.

Speaker 2 I don't know. But I'll see it with you.
Happily.

Speaker 1 It's not like it should have been like a Twilight or like a.

Speaker 2 No, it's not. It's nothing like that.

Speaker 1 It's not. Nothing like extraterrestrial.
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 But they're doing press and they're both talking about their respective franchises. And he said he would definitely return to Twilight as Edward Collins if he was ever offered the role.

Speaker 2 And they, you know, there was a prequel movie, not a prequel, a prequel book. The girl who wrote Twilight just did a prequel.
She also did like another set of books written from Edwards P.O.B.

Speaker 2 She like keeps turning shit out. So they might make more.

Speaker 2 And more than a decade after the Twilight saga has ended, fans are once again wondering whether Robert Pattinson would ever return to the role that made him a global heartthrob.

Speaker 2 He played Edward Cullen. And when asked, he said, oh yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2 Jennifer Lawrence asked him, they did like that Vanity Fair lie detector test where you ask actors like pressing questions and put them on a lie detector test and the lie detector says that they're lying.

Speaker 2 And so Jennifer Lawrence asked him if he would ever be willing to reprise his role. And he replied without hesitation, oh, definitely.
Lawrence acted surprised.

Speaker 2 She cautioned him, cautioned him that he probably shouldn't return to Twilight. Pattinson laughed and added, it would be fantastic.
I enjoy taking roles from younger actors.

Speaker 2 I want to be 17 again, which is a hilarious response.

Speaker 2 Who knew Robert Pattinson was funny?

Speaker 1 By the way, he could do funny. He is an amazing actor.
Agreed. She is an amazing actress.

Speaker 2 And I know, I know everyone.

Speaker 1 I like to watch him go funny, though.

Speaker 2 I know the toasters are like sick of me. Me and Jackie talk about this all the time because Twilight is like considered like a lowbrow teen.

Speaker 1 It's an incredible franchise.

Speaker 2 Not only is it incredible, it is the the best acting, writing, cinematic. I know it.
No, no, but

Speaker 2 that's like when people say like that's like when people say like One Direction is like shitty pop music. It's some of the best music ever made.

Speaker 1 Some of, sure.

Speaker 2 And Twilight is like an exercise in excellent acting,

Speaker 2 excellent producing, excellent directing,

Speaker 2 excellent location scouting, excellent.

Speaker 1 It is an excellent franchise.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you're saying it like it, like, no, no, it deserves

Speaker 1 an Oscar. I can think of one better right now.
What? That you're supposed to fucking see. No.

Speaker 1 Harry Potter is a hunt. By the way, and I love Harry Potter.
Harry Potter's.

Speaker 2 I know. No, it's just as good as Twilight.

Speaker 1 It's just as good as Twilight. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 What's better? That you refuse to see.

Speaker 2 Batman.

Speaker 1 The trilogy of Batman

Speaker 1 is by far the greatest trilogy ever made. Christian Bale unbelievable.
It's okay to be wrong. Unbelievable.
No. And by the way, sorry, Pattinson.
You were, that was not a good Batman.

Speaker 1 Actually, that's not your fault.

Speaker 2 You didn't even see it. I saw it.

Speaker 1 I saw it on a plane.

Speaker 2 Well, it was going to be bad if you saw it on on a plane.

Speaker 1 No, but Pattinson was good in it. It's not his fault.
It's like, I don't know why they like to make these weird superhero movies that are a little bit mentally healthy and dark.

Speaker 1 And it's just like, well, I don't give a shit. Right.
I want to see you fly through the air and beat up bad guys. You're wrong about Twilight at the therapist's office.

Speaker 2 Twilight is

Speaker 2 some of the best movies

Speaker 2 that shit ever made.

Speaker 1 But the Batman trilogy is better. Is Twilight a trilogy?

Speaker 2 It's a five-part.

Speaker 2 And you've seen them all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they went on a little too long.

Speaker 2 No, there's just one weird one, New Moon, when there's like this army of like zombies coming. Yeah, that one wasn't great.
But the exception, Twilight 1 and Twilight 4 and 5

Speaker 2 are the best shit ever. So Twilight 1 is the best movie because it's the original.

Speaker 2 And then Twilight 2 is like a good one, but Edward's barely in it because they break up and it's really fucking annoying. And no offense, we need Edward.

Speaker 2 Twilight 3 is where they totally lose the plot. Like it's this really nuts thing.
4 and 5,

Speaker 2 some of the best shit ever made.

Speaker 1 Dark Knight Rises.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Heath Ledger. No.
Heath Ledger. No.

Speaker 1 Was unbelievable.

Speaker 2 I believe it. It's just not as good as Twilight.

Speaker 1 It's like not even close.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're wrong.

Speaker 1 It's not even close.

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Speaker 2 Check out their store locator to find a location near you. All right, Ben, are you ready to help out some swirlies in need?

Speaker 1 I don't know if you are. And let me tell tell you, you are so lucky to have me.
I really do give such wonderful sound advice.

Speaker 2 Okay. So lucky.
I don't know. I mean, I guess we'll see, right?

Speaker 1 So lucky.

Speaker 2 Okay, we get it. I also forgot to pull up dear toasters.
Give me a second.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking maybe had a song.

Speaker 1 You're singing. It's not unusual.

Speaker 2 I thought you were singing the

Speaker 2 Dancing with the Stars theme song.

Speaker 2 Da-da-da-da-da.

Speaker 2 Da-da-da-da-da-da.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Dear Toasters, is this tacky or am I in the wrong? I know I chose this one specifically for you. I was invited to a kid's birthday party, and the host has asked volunteers to bring food to the party.

Speaker 2 Tacky. I'd understand if this was a potluck or like a holiday gathering, but I've never had this request before.
This feels extremely icky.

Speaker 2 I've never heard of this, but... It's important.

Speaker 2 And I'm sure you get this with Deer Toasters too, when we do More on Mail on the Good Guys, I'm always craving just a little more context i know but i also tell people to keep it short i know because we don't have time all day to read you know all the history no brevity is key now obviously this is weird and tacky but i just want to say one thing i would like a little bit of context just on this person's situation financially i'd love to understand what kind of year has she had yeah like if she's calling on the community to help something special for her kid right if this was a party for her i'd be like oh that's a little self-indulgent like skip your birthday this year but your kid deserves a nice party and so if it takes the community coming together correct I do need more context.

Speaker 2 Or if this girl's always on vacation and just got veneers, like, fuck her.

Speaker 1 So I think, yeah, let's take both scenarios.

Speaker 1 Scenario number one, tacky, where,

Speaker 1 I don't know, maybe she's like a cheap skate. She just doesn't want to plan anything.
She wants people to bring food. That would be terrible.

Speaker 1 I'm going to, I'm going to pretend that she's not a cheap skate. I'm going to say she had a tough year.
She wants the community to come together, rally around her child.

Speaker 2 And if that's the case, like go above and beyond.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go above and be if you can.

Speaker 2 I will say this is unheard of. Like I haven't heard of this.

Speaker 2 But I think if she, I don't think the girl would be writing in if this girl, like, you know, everyone knew that she was going through a tough time because everyone would just band together for the kid.

Speaker 1 It also leads to such like a bizarre cuisine assortment.

Speaker 1 You're going to show up with two boxes of pizza. I'm going to bring chickamasala.

Speaker 2 Well, why would you bring chickamasala?

Speaker 2 It's delicious. I would go to baked by melissa, honestly.
Like not to, not to

Speaker 1 all of a sudden we have pizza. We have baked by Melissa.
We have chickamasala.

Speaker 2 I mean pizza and baked by melissa goes perfectly. I just think want to say

Speaker 1 masala.

Speaker 2 Okay, you're thinking of...

Speaker 1 I think it's tickamasala.

Speaker 2 And I'm thinking of chicken millonise.

Speaker 1 Yeah, both would be great.

Speaker 2 Okay, by the way, chicken millines is low-key like a chicken nugget.

Speaker 1 We have tickamasala, we have chicken melanase, we have pizza, we have baked by melissa. Delicious.
I'm bringing Spurts Society.

Speaker 2 Of course, to the kids' party. Yeah.
Now, I do want to say my advice here would just be to do an audit on this girl's social media. 1,000%.

Speaker 2 Like, if she's living well, like, Shannon told me the most hilarious story that, like, somebody who literally owes her, she, like, a business person who owes her $50,000, or maybe it was 10,000 I I can't believe if I'm making it like more dramatically than it is.

Speaker 2 Is always going on vacation and just got veneers. And so

Speaker 2 you need to monitor this person's social media. That's tough.
Because if they're living well and their kid is not, like, seriously, fuck off. That's tough.
But why should the kid suffer?

Speaker 1 The kid shouldn't suffer.

Speaker 2 No. He shouldn't.

Speaker 1 She?

Speaker 2 We don't know. It doesn't matter.
Do an audit of the social media. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And if the person is going through a hard time, of course, but I don't think that's the case because this girl wouldn't be writing in like shady.

Speaker 1 So was that the best advice? No, but you didn't give us enough context.

Speaker 2 Okay, next up. I have a sister dilemma that I need your help with.
My sister has a daughter, my niece. She's 14 years old.
She's already going to parties talking to boys.

Speaker 2 I always tell my niece that I'm here for her to talk if she needs to. And finally, for the first time, she opened up to me this weekend about a boy she's talking to.
We gossiped a bit.

Speaker 2 I gave her the adult talk about being safe, not doing anything she's uncomfortable with, and never taking shit from a boy. But I also encouraged her to tell my sister about him.
Now...

Speaker 2 I'm in a weird spot because I want to keep my niece's trust, but I also really want to tell my sister.

Speaker 2 I'm afraid that if I do, my sister will say something and my niece will think that I said something and there won't be a space to open up anymore.

Speaker 2 Do I keep the secret until she's ready to tell her mom or do I spill? Spill. Oh, I totally disagree.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to spill.

Speaker 2 But there's nothing happening just that she's talking to a boy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but like, I don't know. I think you spill.
I think you tell the mom.

Speaker 2 No? Oh, I get, yeah, but the thing is, it's so complicated because you have to tell the mom, like, I'm telling you something, but you literally can't rat me out. Totally.

Speaker 2 And the mom wouldn't want to rap her out. Rat you out because it's a way of getting information.

Speaker 1 It's an information tunnel.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but it's also like, it kind of, I was waiting for it to be like that, you know, she something. Like, there's no secret here.
It's just that she's talking to a boy. Like, she's 14.

Speaker 2 Like, that's what girls do.

Speaker 1 Totally. But, like, I don't think that it's the aunt's place to be giving like the,

Speaker 1 like, it wasn't a sex talk, but, like, it was like something that was talking about.

Speaker 2 It was a safety talk. A safety talk.
Yeah, I guess they're not.

Speaker 1 That's the mom's job. The mom should be having the safety talk.

Speaker 2 No, but sometimes a kid won't go to a parent and you just want the kid to have the talk. It's like, it doesn't matter where they're getting the talk.

Speaker 1 The talk needs to be talked. Sure, but like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. This is tough.

Speaker 2 It is. I do think, okay, I've rethought.
The mom needs to know.

Speaker 1 Mom needs to know.

Speaker 2 But under the guise of being like, you can't fucking rat me out because one, we're going to lose our information highway. 100%.
And two, you're going to make me look like a rat. 100%.

Speaker 2 And you can't be obvious either. Like, oh, well, are you talking to any boys? Well, yeah, I just told Auntie, so now I know that you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's she, you, you can't go in then.

Speaker 2 And if the kid finds out, it's such a betrayal. Like, sure.

Speaker 1 But then why is she confiding in the aunt? The aunt is one degree separated from the mom.

Speaker 1 Why would you confide in somebody completely random that has no connection to your mom if you don't want your mom to find find out? That's the thing.

Speaker 2 Because you think you trust the aunt you think you assume that if you're telling the aunt and the aunt says I'm not telling your mom.

Speaker 1 I know, but this is important. Okay.
Okay. If you tell me a secret and tell me not to tell, I'm going to tell my wife.

Speaker 2 Oh, same. If you tell me a secret and you tell me not to tell, you're telling me knowing I'm telling Jackie.

Speaker 1 Well, see, but that's the same thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's exactly the exact scenario.

Speaker 2 Like someone just told me something so crazy and they're like, don't tell anyone. Obviously, I'm like, okay, but you know I'm telling Jackie.
They're like, yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 But that's the same scenario. A sister told a sister.
Right.

Speaker 2 But it's not about a kid. Kid makes it different.

Speaker 1 And no, it doesn't.

Speaker 2 It does. I think you're over too.
No, it's different because you have nieces and nephews on my side. You don't have any on your side yet.
Sure.

Speaker 2 So I don't think you could really put yourself in the position, honestly. But like if one of Maddie's kids, God willing, God willing a million years before them comes to you.

Speaker 1 Kidding you with a problem, I'm telling Naddie. Right.
Yeah. What do you mean, right, gaslighter?

Speaker 1 You've been on the other side of it the whole time. No, I didn't.

Speaker 2 Yes, you lit. By the way, I literally was, and then I was like, wait, I changed my mind.
So we're on the same side. We're agreeing.
Why are you all agreeing? Okay, cool.

Speaker 1 Very good.

Speaker 2 Good talk. All right, I throw in final two toasters.
Very good.

Speaker 1 Sounds a little freaky.

Speaker 2 Ooh. I'm about to turn 30.
Spooky. Spooky.
I'm about to turn 30, and I've been saving to freeze my eggs as a birthday gift to myself.

Speaker 2 After talking with my OBGYN, I learned that freezing embryos is a safer option since they are more likely to survive the thawing process than eggs alone.

Speaker 2 So she basically wants to get sperm with the eggs like before. Okay.
Her dilemma is, would it be crazy to ask my previous friends with Benefit Sky to be my sperm donor?

Speaker 2 We went to medical school together. We're best friends.
We fell in love and we agreed not to date since we're both moving back to different states after graduation. We left on great terms.

Speaker 2 We haven't spoken since. He's smart.
He's kind of handsome. He's stable and honestly a perfect candidate.
Would it be insane to reach out after all this time to ask? Love ya.

Speaker 1 Is he single?

Speaker 2 Good question.

Speaker 1 If he's married, weird.

Speaker 2 Agreed. You can't do it.
Or if he's even in a relationship, it's inappropriate. You can't do it.

Speaker 1 But if he's single.

Speaker 2 What's the worst he could say?

Speaker 1 No. I don't know.
I would 100% ask if he's single.

Speaker 2 I was a little on the fence, but once you said he went to medical school, I don't know why. Like, Like, I feel like as a doctor.

Speaker 1 You'd understand it a little bit more.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like it's kind of less of an ask.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 2 And the thing is, is you're

Speaker 2 building a baby.

Speaker 1 You are.

Speaker 2 So social weirdness, like literally who gives a fuck? Like, we're thinking big picture here. We're on to bigger and better things.

Speaker 2 So the absolute worst thing he could say is no. And then what? He rejected you and you never see or speak to him again because he lives in a different state and you guys never talk.

Speaker 2 I'm also thinking

Speaker 2 this is how you guys reconnect. Like you said you fell in love, you're perfect for one another, but you live in different states.
Okay, so move.

Speaker 1 Move. One of you, one of you's, one of you has got to move.

Speaker 2 Right, no, no. It sounds like either.
Here's so many different options here. One, you stalk him, you find out he's married or has a girlfriend, you don't ask, and nothing happens.
Correct.

Speaker 2 Two, he's single. You feel like I think that you should ask, and so you do.
I would recommend that. Either he says yes, great, you've waited.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, you can't just text.

Speaker 1 You don't text this like, hey, I know we haven't spoken in a while, but do you mind like giving me your sperm so that I can make a baby with the two of us? Like, why don't you ask him to dinner? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You'd have to fly to town.

Speaker 1 You, you rekindle the friendship. Perhaps you get in one last quick

Speaker 2 way. You could love that.
You could.

Speaker 1 You could. And if maybe flames aren't a flaming, then at the end you ask on your way out, by the way, you know, do you mind giving me some of your sperm? I'm looking to create

Speaker 1 a baby one day. And I would love this.

Speaker 2 So yeah, so here are your options. Don't ask.
He's not married.

Speaker 1 Don't ask if he's married. Right.
Yes.

Speaker 2 He's married. Sorry, he's not married.
Yes. You You go to dinner.
Yes. If sparks start flying, try getting pregnant the old-fashioned way.
Correct. Sparks aren't flying.

Speaker 1 Ask. Correct.

Speaker 2 Worst he can say is no.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 1 Three.

Speaker 2 So either he says yes, you're good. He says no.
You go through the traditional channels. A sperm bank is Pargy.
They do all the work for you. Diseases, college, education, you know, all that stuff.

Speaker 1 I mean, you pick like through, it's like a magazine.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, I actually, we were helpful in selecting sperm for the Taylors.

Speaker 1 We were. And they didn't.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, no, that was eggs. Oh, God.

Speaker 2 And they did choose who we thought they should, but they got Pargy sperm. We, of course, were rooting for the Jewish guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Pargy sperm.

Speaker 2 But they got really Pargy athletic sperm. They did.
Wow. Handsome guy, too.

Speaker 1 Parge and athletic sperm. Yeah.
That's good stuff. So I give great advice.

Speaker 2 You agree? I actually, you know what?

Speaker 1 I give advice. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I give great advice. And you do great podcasts.
That's it.

Speaker 1 Perfect timing. Thanks, darling.
Ben. Is that our show?

Speaker 2 That's our show. I'm sure you'll be back.
Ben's now like at a once-a-week frequency, which we appreciate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this has been the uh Millennial Morning Show.

Speaker 2 Oh, go for it!

Speaker 1 Yeah, comes to you live every Monday through Friday. And you can listen to this podcast everywhere.
You get your podcast. Watch us on YouTube, share our clips on Instagram and TikTok.

Speaker 1 You know, the girls are really firing on TikTok. Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, folks.
We will see you next time. Love ya.

Speaker 2 Bye. Leave a message.
Come here over here.

Speaker 1 Love ya. Bye.

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