Olivia Benson Boone: Tuesday, March 4th, 2025

I sound amazing. Welcome back to The Toast and happy Tuesday, or as we call it, Tuesday.
And speaking of girls that I choose in this lifetime and the next. And in every lifetime.
My sister, Jackie. Hey, cojers, wojers.
How's it hanging? Bojers, you know. Bojers, wojers, my man.
Bojers, wojers. Sojers, nojers, you know.
Hey, guys, this is the toast, even though that was a bit of gibberish for you. Thanks for clarifying.
Welcome back to the toast. Welcome toast to the back.
I never welcome everyone into the show. You're extremely.
You're extremely unwelcoming. That is what people say about you.
A hundred percent. And I love that for me.
But today I'm welcoming you all into our show because we have a parchy little show for you. And if it feels like both Jackie and I have like a little bit of an extra pep in our step, we do for separate reasons.
I'm assuming Jackie's has something to do with the fact that Meghan Markle's show finally launched on Netflix last night. Well, it is D-Day over here.
If Jackie has a bit of a sparkle in her eye, that's why. It's a Markle sparkle.
Correct. And if I have a bit of a sparkle in my eye, like I really don't mean to brag.
You know, I never want to come on here and be like, my life is so amazing. You know, it's not nice to rub in people's faces.
But I only peed one time in the night and I didn't wake up choking on my own vomit. And I actually had like such a good night's sleep that I think Anora was an amazing movie.
And I think life is worth living. And it's just really amazing what a tablet of magnesium, apsid i switched over dr fox said i could a pepsid could do like life is worth living the magnesium is major what'd you do the one that i sent you 500 milligrams i'm back on my 500 milligrams as well because my nails were all broken.
My sciatica was back. And I'm like, okay, so, so.
So yeah, we do drugs. Yeah.
Do you have said you had a funny story to tell me? I did. So I went to the doctor yesterday, you know, for that, for that checkup.
All good. Thank God.
Thank God. Blessed be the fruit.
Baruch Hashem. B'lian Hara.
But on the way there, we always drive. I don't know why.
Like we just, we like decided. We do love driving, but like the doctor's in the city and like it's pretty easy to get to.
I don't know why we always drive. We never can find parking.
Like you have to justify having a car. It's so true.
Okay. Sojourner, nojourner truth.
Okay. Gojourner's truth.
And I had such a busy day yesterday that like Ben picked me up from work and I didn't have time to eat lunch. And I'm so hungry.
And you know, every time I go into the doctor's hungry, they're like, baby's not in good position. Baby's sleeping.
And they're like always yelling at my baby that like they can't get their photos. So I always make sure to eat, you know.
It's my due diligence as a mama to be. And so we just like pulled over on the side of the road ben ran in and got like two slices we just grabbed a slice oh his dream come true yeah and we were like eating the slices on the way and i didn't want to complain but like he got two slices for two people right so when he came to the car with the two like plates i'm like okay good he like two.
And they happen to have been. Right.
They happen to have been like particularly small, not small, but like below average of a New York City slice. So I'm like, oh, he got me two.
That's nice. And he gets in the car and he starts eating his.
And I'm like, wait, should we go in? Like, and we were really late. He's like, why would I go back? I'm like, like, what is not going to suffice? I'm starving and I'm pregnant.
And he starts driving. I'm like, it's fine.
I'll just like give me yours.

And he was like, no, I haven't eaten all day.

I'm like, what?

I'm like, give me your slice.

He's like, no, I'm starving.

I'm like, okay, fine.

I finished the slice.

I'm like, I was hungry, but like it was sufficient.

Go to the doctor.

We're watching the ultrasound.

Oh, so cute.

This, we got the 3D.

And she's like, oh, what is that? I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like, oh, it's so cute. He's chewing on his umbilical cord.
I'm like, excuse me? That's like bad. Like you need the, like what if he chewed through it? And then I look at Ben and I'm like, you wouldn't give me that fucking slice of pizza and our baby's so hungry.
He's eating his body okay because he has them teeth yeah right and they were like it happens all the time it's so cute like doctors will tell you the craziest things in pregnancy they're like it's happens to everyone yeah i've not heard that before but ben should be ashamed and also agree there's so many great markets around that doctor's office they've really i know place themselves in a parchy spot for pregnant women that ben should have been out at the market 1000% you guys don't use the market enough I feel okay so when we one time it happened I was so hungry at a doctor's appointment and the baby like wasn't moving they needed him to flip to get the picture of the spine so Ben ran and got me pizza and I'm like eating pizza while being ultrasounded it was really crazy and there's a sign that's like no food no better and like the girl made an exception for me but like you can't bring food into the rooms so like I'll have to go to the market afterwards yeah or sometimes you have to wait a little bit so like that's a good time for Ben to go to the market it's literally across the street he should just actually I'm kind of like a VIP client at the doctor I I've actually never waited. Oh, that's nice.
Yeah. Sometimes if you get there a little late and kind of miss your appointment, you got to wait.
Oh, see, I'm not late. I would never be late to Dr.
Fox. Because you're driving your car.
Because I respect him. Yeah.
Yeah. And the sort of like major update, as you guys know, I see a high risk doctor because of my sister.
And yesterday I've officially been cleared as having a strong cervix. I don't have to get it checked every time now.
That's exciting. Cervix strong.
Putting the probe out of business. Yeah, they said my cervix is kind of giving, like, strength.
They said parcheelicious? They said that looks like an independent, strong cervix. That's what they said.
They said it was a parcheelicious cervix? They actually started playing my favorite songchelicious by Fergie parchelicious definition make the boys go loco so it was a parchelicious day my favorite song is parginus by Taylor Swift there's parginus okay that's not how it goes there is parginus after you there is pargin Pargenous because of you too. Both of these things can be true.
There is pargenous. Plus the blood of Rose.
We haven't talked about Lerd in a while. She's been really quiet.
She's on hiatus. So we're on hiatus from Lerd, which is good because Megan deserves her moment.

Yeah, we're kind of like pushing the moment on to people because Megan is actually like not having a moment anywhere besides this show. People are not talking about her in the way that I think she like wishes that they were.
I don't know what people are talking about, but like when I look at the trades before the show, so like Page Six, People Magazine, all of like entertainment websites, like they are trying to talk about her like and be like,

Megan's show, how she goes on day dates with Archie and Lilibet.

Cute.

Yeah, like and Mindy Kaling called her Markle in her last one. Well, is that a story today?

No.

Okay, because I actually thought you might.

And that moment is going viral.

I will not make it a, I will not talk about the show until I've seen seen it I'm not going to watch a clip and judge because that's wrong to do okay but I just do want to talk about this one clip and judge it very briefly because it's my queen Mindy um and she was like trying to make a funny joke Mindy Kaling being like if people knew Meghan Markle like and she was like it's so funny you keep calling me Meghan Markle, that was like the joke Mindy Kaling was making. Like, it's irrelevant.

We don't know the whole conversation, but I guess Megan shared that she ate Jack in the Box.

But Mindy Kaling was just like being one of us.

She was just being one of us.

She was like, if people only knew Megan Kaling, Megan Markle ate Jack in the Box.

It was like an offhand, like, swirly remark.

Yeah, that's just like what you say when someone famous eats fast food.

Correct.

She, like, wanted you to think that.

And then Megan's like, it's so funny that you keep calling me Megan Markle. You know I'm Sussex.
And Mindy Kaling is like, she didn't say anything. She's like, she looks like she got in trouble.
You know that very famous clip of RuPaul going on Jimmy Fallon? Yes. Oh my God.
That is so good. Where, okay, so he's, RuPaul is promoting his cover.
I think of like Vanity Fair or something. So Jimmy Kimmel shows like the first ever drag queen to be on the cover of.
And RuPaul's like, I drag queen. And Jimmy Kimmel's like seeing his whole career flash before his eyes.
He's like, what did I say? I said it wrong. I said it wrong.
And he's like, I drag queen. I am the queen of drag.
And it's just like a funny gag moment. And see jimmy kemmel's career flashed ballon ballon ballon jimmy fallon's career flashed before his eyes it's the funniest clip it's and then you see like this huge wave of relief like wash over him when he realized like it was just a joke that's literally like megan she's like what did i say what did like she doesn't know what she said wrong.
And then Megan's like, I'm Sussex now.

And she's explaining how like how meaningful it is to have the same last name as her kids, which I totally understand.

But not to be like a nitpicker, but like I thought their last name was Windsor.

So like Mountbatten, Windsor family, the whole royal family, but then each individual family like has their own name. Now, I think're a working royal you don't use last names so it doesn't matter but then when they like left then they took their little family name of something so is that like what's on her license well no every article says Meghan Markle Meghan Markle like Meghan Markle's joining Lemonada like Meghan Markle it's giving Kelly Breanne like you want a new name and we're not giving it to you but she she like i this is the first i'm hearing that her name is megan sussex like legally changed the only thing i didn't choose it as a story but like if we were going to talk about megan just wanted to share that she had um a little fan screening of her show oh i saw in new york city it was giving 1989 secret sessions it was giving secret sessions i was honestly disappointed that Stassi wasn't there because I.
I was disappointed you weren't there. No, I'm not the elk to be invited.
I haven't been ride or die. These are people who have been with her since the Tig.
The Tig. Like who are fans, like just Meghan Markle stans.
I wouldn't count myself among them. I am someone who's just been craving comfort cooking content and also craving to see like what Meghan Markle and Harry have up there.
The Sussexes have up their sleeve. And so I'm very interested by this.
Yeah. And I think we could be on the precipice of something.
I wouldn't say I don't deserve to be invited to this, but Stassi does. Yeah.
And also to say we're not talking about Meghan Markle today. Right.
No, but it is M-Day. Yeah, it's the big day.
We'll see how the show is received by one Jackie O. I finished my gorsh forsaken book last night so I can enjoy with love Meghan.
I guess what she's trying to do more so than be Meghan Sussex is just be Meghan. Yeah, Madonna.
Answer. You've been freed from the shackles of your book club.
Does anybody who's ever been a part of a book club feel like, it's so amazing. Like when, like I have positive things to say about my time in a book club, but like it's does like towards the end of the month, like when you're almost at the date, like it starts to feel like homework and it starts to feel like a prison and you're like, why did I sign up for this? And then you read the book and it's fine, but like there's a couple of days where you're like cramming and you're like why the fuck did I voluntarily decide to do this it's literally homework and if I hadn't been reading all weekend I would have been watching love is blind and even though the book wound up not being my favorite spoiler alert like I'm glad I spent the weekend reading something enriching rather than watching the worst dumbest show on television that will actually take points away from my IQ like so all in all I'm grateful to the book club because I know without it I would be the dumber person and I would never read a book like this so thank you for reminding me um just wanted to update everybody on something that was said yesterday people were really quick to be like Charity James Cameron's alive and I happen to know that he wasn't I just was saying that like the elk of films, like James Cameron's rolling over in his grave, you know? Oh, that's just a common phrase.
Thank you. It's just like a, it's a matter, it's a wording thing.
It's just like anything to say. It's funnier when the person's alive.
You know, and I know he's alive, like Avatar, Avatar 2, Avatar 3, 4, and 5. Like, I'm familiar.
Don't worry. But I guess people were not like understanding the figure of speech I chose to use yes comedy yes comedy comedic we have dear toasters today yay huge for the community the dtq we actually have like a lot of stories in addition to the stories that aren't stories do you know what i mean and do we do we have the story that that I yes finally Mark Zuckerberg has made it into the fast five.
I need to talk about Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah me too.
I kept meaning to talk about it and then he just kept getting overlooked which is so classic suck. And you know he only pulled that stunt at his wife's birthday party like to make it into the fast five.
Not necessarily us but like the world's fast five. And it wasn't gonna happen on Friday and it wasn't gonna happen monday but tuesday is your day mark but it needs to be spoken about because when you are a loser you deserve to be made fun of so we're gonna do that and what but that's giving like story number four energy yeah all of the stories it's one of those days where it's not really they're all kind of equal they're all at like 20 so like the order might be a little random So it's giving equitable division of the assets it is it's not giving lead story and sub stories oh that's good i like when we're all just sort of it's a level playing field yeah it's definitely an rbg day like random but good ruth bader ginsburg ruth bader ginsburg rest in peace right hope she's not rolling over no no she's lying flat on her back.
Like doing well. Yeah.
So I could, if you have nothing else to share about life. About life.
And how it's worth living. It is.
It is. So let's get into the Fast Five Stories.
You need to know you do-do-do-do-do-do. Well, the Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by State Farm.
So we know that our listeners can agree. Nothing feels better than a personal win.
Like when you get a final piece of furniture delivered to your apartment, your home really feels complete. Perhaps you hit a personal record in a new workout.
Or you're a toaster who managed to stop for a much-needed iced coffee but still made it to work on time. Or you're a toaster who made it home, saving herself $7.
Yeah, that's right. I'm economical.

Well, whatever it is that you define as a win,

it calls for celebration.

And any idea who's cheering right beside you?

Jax, if you had to guess.

Beside me and you?

Mm-hmm.

State Farm, 100%.

Of course.

Because with the State Farm personal price plan,

you can create an affordable price just for you

when you bundle home and auto.

So celebrate by breaking out the confetti

and those happy dance moves

and talk to a State Farm agent today

to learn how you can bundle and save

with the personal price plan.

Let's go. and affordable price just for you when you bundle home and auto.
So celebrate by breaking out the confetti and those happy dance moves and talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save

with a personal price plan.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

I'm at a skimming, Cynthia Erivo.

State Farm is there.

Would you like to knock at it? It was not giving Cynthia E no by the way State Farm is there that's good I like that they should take that that's really good they should work with Cynthia and like do like a QLab honestly talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor State Farm is there prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer availability, amount of discounts, and savings eligibility vary by state.
Today's episode is also brought to you by OpenPhone. Running a small business means you're wearing a lot of hats.
Your personal phone becomes your business phone, and before you know it, you're juggling customer calls day and night. As your team grows, it becomes impossible to manage with your personal number.
But that's where OpenPhone comes in, the number one business phone system. They will help you separate your personal life from your growing business.
For just $15 a month, which is the cost of a few coffees, you're getting complete transparency and visibility into everything happening in your business phone number. So OpenPhone works through an app on your phone or on your computer, and it integrates with HubSpot and hundreds of other systems.
They use AI-powered call transcripts and summaries, so you have a summary of your phone call with action items as soon as you hang up. Plus, if you miss a call, automated messages are sent directly to the customer, meaning that you never miss an opportunity to engage with them.
It's affordable, it's easy to use, so whether you're a one-person operation and you need help managing calls automatically, or you have a large team and you need better tools for efficient collaboration, OpenPhone is truly a no-brainer. They have won multiple awards for software reviews by G2.
They are trusted by over 50,000 businesses, and yours could be next. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off your first six months when you go to openphone.com slash toast.
That's O-P-E-N-P-H-O-N-E dot com slash toast for 20% off six months. That's open phone.com slash toast T O A S T.

Plus if you have existing phone numbers with another service,

open phone will port them over for you at no extra charge.

So head over to O P E N P H O N E.com slash toast for 20% off six months.

Thank you.

Six turds.

You're welcome.

Our first story,

the aforementioned Mark Zuckerberg news. He's going gonna be really excited that he got the number one spot um yes ben mark zuckerberg dressed up as benson boone's for his wife's 40th birthday party not just dressed up he wore his outfit that he wore from the grammys he performed on stage at his wife priscilla's birthday party everyone remembers the benson boone grammysys moment.
He wore the suit that pulled off. Blue jumpsuit.
Jumpsuit, very like Harry Styles. And it was like a cute, like it was good.
I didn't know it'd be like being replicated for years. I didn't know it was like the sort of performance that we're going to be like replicating.
Well, this is what Mark Zuckerberg does, right? He's a replicator. He steals ideas from his college roommates.
He steals ideas from Instagram. He steals ideas from WhatsApp.
Like he's not an original person. So the fact that he needed to put together a performance for his wife and he was like, oh, okay, like I want people to think I'm cool.
What's like the last thing people thought was cool? And when Benson Boone did it, everybody was like, oh, he's so hot. He's wearing a tight thing.
Oh, he did the flip. Oh, we love Benson Boone.
We love that song. So Mark Zuckerberg was just like, control C, control V.
He's such a copycat. He's so unoriginal.
And he's so like, I need Mark Zuckerberg to develop self-awareness. The world would be a better place.
I'm so tired of him making me cringe. Like, he's so lame.
And this was just like the latest lame endeavor from the Zuckerberg family. For me, this is such a weird thing to copy.
Like, I understand like something like amazing and then like copying it, but this was just so random. Like it was one performance in the night of, you know, nice performances, but it's not like one that's going to go down in the history books.
Like maybe him and his wife, like our huge Benson Boone fans. Is Mark Zuckerberg a part of the space race? No, not in a capacity that is in a real way.
That's so crazy. I feel like he would be because he loves to copy everyone.
Maybe that's next. I mean, don't take it off the table.
It takes time. You're right.
Oh, my God. Excuse me.
It's a random thing for him to, like, plant his flag. I feel like Priscilla must love Benson Boone, but that's also kind of random.
He has like three songs so far. Maybe she loves American Idol.
Yeah. And it's just very, if this was a Harry Styles thing, I would get it more because he's like, you know, there's so many albums, there's so much lore, there's costumes.
Like this is just like, and I love Benson Boone. Like he's filling the Louis Capaldi shaped hole in my heart you guys know that but this is early stages and it's also kind of a cringe thing to do like this is my gift to you where i'm the center of attention and i'm the star and i get to dance with my backup singers and i get written about in page six but it's all for you priscilla like that's something i would do for real like oh ben you wanted i'll be the star like it's so I couldn't hate this man more like seriously I see right through him everything he thinks he's like he's pulling the wool over people's eyes I see right through everything Mark Zuckerberg does like giving him so much credit like he was stealing the spot set spotlight like no it's like this is my gift to you like I'm gonna make your butt clench right and like you know what about this is a present she must love benson boone and i'm not gonna get benson boone to perform he's not even that expensive and you're a billionaire yeah that's what's also crazy but i'm also like not gonna pretend to begin to like understand their relationship like yeah them as people like separately together like i don't think we have a lot of common interests i just don't think that enough people are asking the question like why couldn't you get benson boone like it's not like it's beyonce that's the wrong question if anybody wanted to get beyonce like it would be mark zuckerberg i bet you can get benson boone for like under a million dollars and if he wanted to like bake himself oh he could have also worn the blue thing and they could have done the flip together like but where is b in all of this why are we acting like this is some low budget affair no the question isn't why couldn't you get Benson why didn't why didn't you can and then Benson commented on this situation he commented on a post that was like a news story about it he said I hope his nuts are okay that thing is so tight and he also reposted the video of him doing it and said add zuck you're wild for

this so he's like playing into it he's not like he should i don't think he wants to piss off mark

zuckerberg you know like he could totally shadow ban him we'll never see him again but he's

obviously not like oh man you crushed it like so glad i sent you that overnight delivery like

keep it bruv now do we think that it was a replica or the exact same item i think it was the exact same item because you can see Mark being like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, keep it bruv. Now do we think that it was a replica or the exact same item? I think it

was the exact same item

because you could see Mark being like

yeah we fit into the same size. He said

Mark how did you get my jumpsuit? How?

But like did you send

it? FedEx?

Did the stylist give it? I do

think it was the same one because I do think that

Mark would pride himself on getting the exact one.

Right as a gift to Priscilla. Don't forget.
It's all for Priscilla. Like Priscilla is so lost in this.
I actually feel bad for her. Like this is truly what it's like to be married to a narcissist.
Like nobody wants to see you sing and dance. It's Priscilla's party.
I know. But it's like he has so much money that I think when he even does stuff that's cringe it's like she'll just wipe her tears with the money like I think she just has to like compartmentalize you know.
She knows who she married because like we think he's weird now I can only imagine what he was like in college. And wasn't she like with him before he was anybody that's what's crazy.
These two are like deeply in love. It's wild.
That's why I'm saying like I felt like yeah it's like priscilla liked this this was for priscilla in some way yeah i just don't understand these two honestly if someone's at my birthday party and their gift is taking all the attention away from me like divorce but but in a but in a way that's like not pargy like if someone's at my birthday party and they sing me like a, like if Sia when she's at my birthday, and they sing me a beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday. Like it's actually a gift is what you're saying.
Or like a Marilyn Monroe comes to my birthday party and jumps out of a cake. Like oh my gosh Marilyn, you're such a good friend.
I love that. If someone comes.
Thanks Mare. If someone comes to my birthday party and does like something weird.
Yeah. And like Mark Zuckerberg doesn't have a talent.
Like it would be more impressive. He like sat down and coded in the middle of the party.
Like the, and like built her a website live. Like that's what you bring to the table and that's okay.
Yeah. Like a live Benson Boone fan page.
Yeah. I'm building you a Benson page website website that would be funny benson boone yeah right right right benson he actually has one song he now has two he came out with one on friday and when mark posted the video he was also like congrats on the new song benson Benz Benz Stopper

Yeah that's what I thought you were gonna say Ben Sovereign you can't call Benson Boone Ben he's not a Ben no his name is Benson no but like as a nickname like I would call him Olivia I would call him B bence i would call him olivia live for benson boom live benson yeah what oh oh okay olivia benson oh i thought the joke was just like something completely random oh no our brains are wired a little bit differently yeah that's funny yeah thanks i tried no no not funny not olivia not the joke oh the fact that we're on such different pages. Yeah, thanks.
I tried. No, no, no.
Not funny. Not Olivia.

Not the joke.

The fact that we're on such different pages.

Oh, well, I think that kind of speaks to how funny the joke was.

Because, like, I obviously had one meaning for it, and people probably saw that.

But then you were able to come up with a completely different but also hilarious joke.

So if anybody didn't get, like, the SVU reference, they were able to find, you know, other meaning in the joke.

I think we're going to the brilliance of the joke. There's something for everyone.
Correct. It's a very inclusive joke.
Those are my favorite kinds of jokes. Same.
Are we ready to move on from this Parajit story that has brought us so much joy honestly no it delivered in a way that i didn't expect it to like i knew i would have some funny thoughts on it because i saw it and like physically cringe but i didn't know that it would like lead me to write my eye and lead me to write one of the greatest most prolific jokes of my career. You know? His inspiration strikes in such unexpected places.
I kind of feel like Mark Zuckerberg, you know? Like a true genius. Funny.
That's funny. I was such a funny joke look at her it was such a funny joke keeps going it has layers it's the gift that keeps on giving Mark Zuckerberg could learn a thing or two it It's Priscilla's gift that keeps on giving.

Oh my God.

Dream guest on the toast?

Priscilla.

100%. You know what I want to do?

Yeah.

Like there's so many people that I just want to ask one question.

Like I don't want to have a 40 minute episode.

Speed dating podcast.

I don't want a 40 minute.

I don't have a whole conversation to be, but there's a question I owe.

And it's not like anything expositor.

Like I'm not sure. No.
but like just a curiosity yeah I it's like a speed dating type of like bite-sized content we don't need you for an hour 15 minutes we have one question yeah I like that our next story oh very serious Millie Bobby Brown is calling bullying. She's calling out the bullies for the criticism of her appearance recently.
So Millie Bobby Brown has been in the news and also just online. She's been beep-bopping around.
Yeah, because she's been at different premieres and stuff in different gowns. And her look has changed.
She's got blonde hair. She seems to have done some fillers.
She looks very very mature. Yeah.
And people have a lot to say about it as they do. Now I never watch Stranger Things.
So like I don't care. No, I mean neither.
This doesn't. This is so not my problem.
I have like no expectations for what she should look like. And I'm not disappointed when she doesn't.
The people that do watch that show, that's why there was like such a reaction to it. Because she's been known and like got famous as like a prepubescent child.
Like she was 10 years old. 11.
People have this like fixed image of her in their minds because every celebrity, especially women, goes through like – especially women go through changes and like they do work. And there's not always like such a big thing about it.
But because Mill Bobby Brown was like a famous kid people are like more obsessed with it I think yeah and I guess just also because of her appearance on the show you know anything other than looking like 11 like it's hard for them to digest right right bald with a bloody nose so right it's really like I'm sure she I'm sure she's like grateful for the role but like hates it it. It's like a prison.
Yeah. So people have a lot to say and they weren't being nice.
And so she put out a video to fire back at the quote disturbing discourse about her physical appearance after she was criticized for looking old at the premiere of Electric State last week. She said, quote, I want to take a moment to address something that I think is bigger than just me, something that affects every young woman who grows up under public scrutiny.
I started in this industry when I was 10 years old. I grew up in front of the world and for some reason people can't seem to grow with me.
She claimed that her critics expect her to stay frozen in time and still look the way that she did in the first season of Stranger Things. That's funny.
That's what I said and I didn't watch the whole video because it was clear she was reading off of a script and I wasn't interested. Yeah she was was like being a little too well-spoken.
No, it was like a PSA.

I'd like to take a moment to address and like literally reading off of something.

So I'm like, okay, I'll just read the transcript later.

Which is now.

So she went on to say, and because I don't look like Eleven, I'm now a target. She also called out several headlines and reporters for mocking a young woman's appearance.

The fact that adult writers are spending their time dissecting my face, my body, my choices,

it's disturbing.

She also emphasized that it's even worse that some of the articles are being written by women. Damn.
Well, she said women. Sorry, I don't want to put that on her.
Oh, okay. Well, go back to school.
I added my own flair. Sorry.
She said women. So how old is Millie Bobby Brown? 21, I believe.
She she's married now like she has definitely grown up in the last couple of years especially because that show like hasn't been on yes and her appearance has obviously changed now i feel like for me you know obviously you don't want to you don't want to talk about a person's appearance but millie bobby brown seems like a in a happy stable phase of her life yeah if she wants to go off and dress and do whatever she wants like this like a happy healthy person like go ahead it might not be what I would do but like I have no issue I feel like no and that's also being 21 like that's what you do you play with your look you try different things obviously she's like a wealthy famous person so her things like we try new lipsticks and she maybe tries new plastic surgeons but like that's what you do when you're young and then you look back and regret it like I think that there's nothing abnormal about this like yeah in the world that she lives in no but also like I'm looking at her when I really zoom in like it's really the hair and the dress and the makeup and it's like she's just putting on a costume and the next day she tries something else like it's not that serious I feel like there are a lot of people who walk around and their appearance is like questionable and it's like because there's probably something deeper going on and that's when I'm like okay is that person okay but Millie Bobby Brown seems okay and if she wants to wear these fake bings like go ahead I agree as long as they appear to be sound of mind I'm not like super worried yeah and nothing about this is giving like a red flag energy. Nothing at all.
No, there's been a lot of talk about that like as it pertains to Cynthia and Ariana who are both like very, very thin, which can be a sign of like distress, health issues. Like it can be a red flag to like something more major going on.
I think when people talk about it, they talk about it from that POV sometimes. But you're right.
Like Billy Bobby Brown is like appears to be really happily married. She's a very successful young woman.
She got Florence by Mills, that like kids makeup company that just won't quit. When she announced it, I'm like, good luck to you, ma'am.
But she's like one of the few celebrities who launched makeup lines that are still going, like launching. I see them all the time on TikTok.
People really like it. Yeah.
I think Murphy going out of business was like one of the best things that happened to Florence by Mills I'm happy for Florence by Mills yeah so she's got a lot going on I agree that's a good um and also and I feel like and then even if someone's like looking like crazy I feel like we wouldn't I might like think it or say it to you privately but like you don't this is something you even say publicly because we just don't do that yeah but I'm saying like even when i see millie by brown and she's like making style choices i wouldn't make like i'm like this girl seems happy like carry on also like she's so young she's 21 like what were you wearing when you were 21 home and carry on totally yeah so lighten up on her i feel like she like is always get like like in the middle of stuff yeah in the millie in the millie are you ready for our next story it's a little Oscars fallout and like actually the one thing we didn't discuss from the Oscars which I did have thoughts on but Doja Cat is admitting that her nerves got to her during the Oscars James Bond tribute and yes I was flats I was gonna um go off on the performances and then I completely forgot we'll talk about the weird Bond performance, but I just wanted to say this was another one of my hot takes that I forgot to say yesterday because you know I would like seriously lay my life out on the line for Queen Latifah. Like I think she's like the most wonderful person.
That performance was not good. She did not have good stage presence.
Her vocals were not good. I don't think she was the right person for the tribute, honestly.
What did she do? I haven't heard. I didn't see it.
She did a song. It was for- I haven't even heard.
I didn't even know she was there. Oh my God.
The Quincy Jones tribute. She did a lead song from The Wiz and it was like, it was a big production, like dancers and lights.
And she was the main singer and like, she didn't have it. I'm sorry.
And I love her. She did not possess the qualities needed.
I understand. And she was introed by Oprah.
Like, it was a big thing. And who was with Oprah? Whoopi Goldberg.
It didn't make a peep, Claudia. I didn't even know that that happened.
Because it wasn't good. And like, you know, it pains me to say that.
Because that's my queen, Miss Motormouth Maybelle. I didn't know that was happening.
what is that from I I didn't know that was happening that's that's come on help me yeah oh wait finger that's what I wanted I didn't know that was happening it's what I wanted that was a really good reference thank you so much um but anyways there was a James Bond tribute that was newsworthy. And we didn't even talk about it.
So Margaret Qualley opened with a dance number. Our girl crushed it per use.
What can't she do? I was confused. Like, I love her.
What was she doing? No, no. I don't know.
Why were we highlighting Bond? Not even. A Bond movie didn't even come out this year, let alone.
I thought it was like maybe an anniversary. Nothing.
It was a nothing. And they made a point to cut down on performances this year.
Usually every song that's nominated in the song category. Those are the performances throughout the night.
No, what was also weird is like, you know, these short shows want to get shorter. But then there were so many segments that were so long, like even for best supporting actress.
And I don't know if they did this for all the acting roles where the person yes they did five read off like Regine George like you broke your back you look awesome like partial like saying nice things about everyone it was and you could feel which ones the person hadn't seen which were just like just nice platitudes and they were trying to like talk to them in the audience while also looking at the teleprompter So they're like, Zoe, your work and courage was everything.

A partial spring queen. Yeah.
That's a really good point. So yeah, they did.
And they tried. They started earlier, too.
Like, they were very time conscious. And then we get like a 10-minute random James Bond tribute that nobody asked for.
That was actually not good. No, it was not good.
But there was definitely the capacity and the potential for parginess and it just did not hit so first can I tell you who showed up for work that day though Ray and the more I see of Ray the more I like the more I see of Ray the more I like but I didn't love this and I'll tell you why but just going in order I liked Margaret Qualley girl can dance who knew she just like looked confident like having fun. I'm telling you.
Margaret Qualley is on her way.

Like to real.

And she already is.

Like she's at the Oscars.

She's out nepoed her nepotism like privilege.

But she is everything I learned about her.

Like personality wise, talent wise.

I just saw her in The Substance.

Which was so different from the last thing I'd seen in her.

She is a star.

Agreed. And then Lisa from Blackpink.
And now White Lotus. Yeah.
I didn't think she was so great. She was cute.
Like, I like her. And I was like, oh, okay, this is fun.
Like, where are the rest of the girls? Like, Lisa left them in the dust, but okay. She did.
And then Doja Cat performed, like, a big song, which she did not possess the qualities needed.

Right.

I felt the same way.

Like it was this big, very like sexy Bond girl,

big vocals.

And that's not what I see Doja Cat as.

Like she's a lot of things.

She's kind of like a hit maker, really on trend.

I don't think of her for like that sort of,

I don't, I think of Ray like that.

She's very Amy Winehouse.

You think about the girls who do the Bond songs, Adele,

like, I don't know, Doja Cat felt really random to me.

Yeah.

Or like, yeah, maybe I don't think of her

Thank you. I think of Ray like that.
She's very Amy Winehouse. You think about the girls who do the Bond songs.
Adele.

Like, I don't know.

Don't you have felt really random to me?

Yeah.

Or like, yeah, maybe I don't think of her in that way.

But maybe when she's saying like, oh, she would shut me up.

And it just wasn't that.

But she said, so she acknowledged that like it wasn't the best.

And she said that she put a lot of work into the performance. But the nerves got the best of her.

And a bitch hit some flats.

She said, I never get to sing like that.

And what I did was brave and scary as fuck for me. I know a lot of people didn like it but a lot of people did and I feel good that I pushed myself and then no I appreciate that like the Oscars is a really big deal for for most people even people who have done you know Coachella like there is something like special and different about it especially a genre shift big yeah I so I understand like what she's saying, but I'm sorry, that's just not good enough.

Like this is the Oscars.

That was like when Selena Gomez like got flack for her acting and Amelia Perez.

And she was like, I'm sorry.

I tried my best.

Right.

I thought you were going to say when she got flack for that, like wild performance, she

did it like the American Music Awards.

Like that's not scary.

No, but also like this wasn't wild. This just like wasn't great.
And I think like this called for greatness. But no, like just this idea like, but I did my best.
Right. Wait, who said that to me recently? Oh, Ben, when like the way he loaded the dishwasher or something, I'm like, just so you know, this is unacceptable.
Like all the bowls are turned up. So they are filled with water.
We have to run the dishwasher again. He's like, well, I tried my best.
I'm like, that's not fucking good enough. It was such a crazy response.
I think it was just he wanted to try something new with me yelling at him about the chores. So he's like, well, like I did it and I tried my best.
So like, what do you want from me? I'm like, what do I want? I want you to fucking do better. I want it to be great.
It was such a, I'm like, who do you think you're talking to?

It was such a crazy response.

Right.

And I think it's like a little bit of a crazy response here too.

But I like the accountability and I like, we can move on.

And then Ray also said in a separate post that she was so nervous to sing the song

because no one can sing Adele like Adele, but she tried her very best.

I thought she did good.

I wasn't offended. I wasn't offended.
And I've seen, right, she also performed at the other awards that we watched recently. Grammys.
And I never heard her sing before, and I was very impressed. But I do think that when someone who sounds like Adele, like, takes on Adele, it'd be better if it was someone that wasn't so similar, because then you're just comparing it to Adele.
And then the question is, like, why didn't Adele come and sing think that that at this stage in her career that's like good for Rae that we're comparing her to Adele I think I think more so her shtick is that she's compared to Amy Winehouse to me she sounds like both and in a good way I like that genre of like British woman just singing I like Rae I think she's like super cute every time I see her on social media she's like having so much fun like she's so serious. I think she like looks serious because she's like British and like sings fancy sad songs.
But she's like a fun loving gal and she's like loving this journey. She's like, I can't believe she's famous.
I'm holding space for two truths. Agreed.
So then other fans expressed displeasure saying that it was like a pointless tribute. It was.
And it was. It was extremely pointless.
But it could have been really amazing. Like imagine if it was amazing and we'd be like, how cool? Like we wouldn't be questioning why it was there.
We'd be grateful that it was. Yeah.
But like the three women like made no sense together. Like it was all bad.
And bond? And someone told me they have a song together recently. Like that doesn't mean you perform at the Oscars.
Did they sing the song? No, no's why i was like i don't know i'm just wanting to make note of that because i could see someone being like but they have a song together no they were trying like maybe to be like pink beyonce and christina and christina from the pepsi commercial and tries you might you will never be those three no are you Are you ready for our next story? Four? Four. Okay.
The theory is untrue. Debunked.
It's a little Dave Portnoy news because he's making waves talking about the financial relationship that he has with his ex-wife. Have you seen this? But it's not his ex-wife.
A lot of people don't know. He's legally married.
Like his wife that he's separated from, that he's not with whatsoever, but they're not formally divorced. And here's why.
So he went on a podcast, the Sage Steel Show, and he explained their situation. He said, we met when Barstool was nothing.
So she rode the grind up with us. Still currently, basically, she has access to all my money.
I just wanted to be like, I'm taking it to be like I'm taking it and gone she could so they got married in 2009 and she was with Dave until 2017 they separated but he made a lot of money over the course of that time they went to get a divorce in Massachusetts and they were denied so they're still technically married uh the person asked how can you deny a divorce and he explained that it had to do with their money her and I have a very fluid relationship with our finances he said she's not like give me half and we've been separated legally for a long time the judge said our agreement wasn't equitable to her they're like he's worth a lot more you have to give half she wouldn't take half she didn't want half of his fortune and so they just stayed married she has access to his bank accounts and can do whatever she wants but she won't take the money he said they're going to try and get divorced in florida but they've had a joint bank account forever and he trusts her implicitly that's crazy who the fuck are these people i don't want half give it to me and like she has access to all the same money that he has and he like you know has a million homes and and it's crazy because in 2017 he was probably worth less than half than he's worth now. So now if they have to get divorced, she might be entitled to $100 million when in 2017 maybe she was entitled to like $25 million.
So she just made the problem worse for herself if that's, you know, really the issue. She doesn't want it.
Or if she laid longhand. Right, right.
This is like Mackenzie Bezos. Like, I don't want it don't want it i got 36 billion here let me give it to everybody like i just don't relate to these people on any level like at all no not really don't relate but also like that is just so crazy it's actually really nice yeah it's very admirable like the trust that they have yeah and i think that like i ship get together.
This comes up like every couple of years. People are like, Dave Poirot is married? What? Like they don't know that he ever was married and that legally he still is.
I don't think these two like hang out ever, but they seem to be on really good terms. It's like a crazy thing.
You know, whatever works for people works. Yeah.
But if you ever, but I guess that means that neither of them. Right.
Or if she wants to get married. Will ever get married or can ever get married again.
She will have to accept $100 million if she wants. And a new husband.
Oh, no. Some people just can't catch a break.
I know. It's devastating to watch.
What's her name? Renee, right? Renee. And I wonder if she works.
I wouldn't. She probably does.
Yeah, she's that type of bitch. She's probably like a teacher.
Yeah, and she probably doesn't take Dave's money. Although I can't see a teacher having been married to Dave Portnoy.
But you have to go all the way back. Yeah, he was worse back then.
He's tame now. Maybe she thought she could change him.
I mean, a teacher would think that. That's what teachers do.
Maybe she takes a little from the account, like splurge on supplies for the children oh that's nice like kind of teach for america type vibes where you have to like pay for everything yeah like a couple more posters never stop asking thumbtacks for everyone glue sticks i'm at the part in desperate housewives where susan meyer is a teacher. And I just, I want to call child services.
Like, I fucking hate Susan Meyer more than I ever could. Can I tell you what just happened in last night's episode? I'll be brief.
I don't want to, like, bore you. And it's not a spoiler.
But she's fallen on really hard times. They have to move off with Sierra Lane.
Mike takes a job on an oil rig. She has, and she just lost her job as a teacher.
And so on the reverse, like Lynette is finally, for the first time, like financially fine. She had got a huge job with Carlos.
She went on maternity leave and Tom took her job. So they have this big job.
She's able to hire a nanny. It's like amazing.
And she's working on like a fun project with Vanessa Williams. They're becoming interior designers.
It's nice to see Lynette, after like eating shit for years, finally being in a good place. So she's hiring a nanny.
and it was actually Vanessa Williams they're becoming interior designers it's nice to see Lynette after like eating shit for years finally being in a good place so she's hiring a nanny and it was actually Vanessa Williams idea Susan Susan needs a job she's a former teacher and like you trust her like perfect oh Susan accepts because she has no other choice and she has such a fucking chip on her shoulder she's like being such a nasty little bitch the entire time and then they try try sleep training the baby. And Lynette is like very cutthroat.
So she's like, listen, she'll cry for 20 minutes and then she'll cry for 19 and like, we'll be fine. You just have to put up with the crying.
And Susan's in the corner. I can't hear the baby cry.
Like literally starts crying. Oh my God.
And she literally like unsleep trains the baby, like keeps picking up the baby and Lynette like doesn't know it is the craziest episode this woman is maniacal whoever wrote the character of Susan Myers hates women like if I ever met a person who actually was even remotely similar to Susan Meyer I would run them over with my car but no I feel like you have there's there's annoying people out there and for every Lynette you know you can't just have five women that you like no Of course and even the women that I like like they do things that I don't agree with that I find them annoying I have never found something Susan said or did to be funny admirable cute moral right like she is consistently stupid and wrong I just wonder like are in that situation like with Lynette like are we meant to be with Susan or in any of these situations are we meant to like feel for Susan is she are she is the protagonist weirdly so this is what bothers me about the show is that she's so clearly wrong um and then when she gets confronted instead of like Lynette being empowered it's like she starts crying that she's having a really hard time and it's like oh poor Susan, poor Susan. Like, we don't get resolution.
Interesting. She should be fired.
Yeah. I just, I wonder what we're meant to feel.
I know what I feel, but I wonder, like, what they intended. I think what they intended, like, wasn't the audience's reaction at the time.
So they quickly shifted Susan's. Because she is supposed to be the main character, but she very quickly stops becoming it.
But then also she's, like, beefing with all the girls behind the scenes. Right.
And I think that like the part that I'm up to is definitely like the peak of the beef because Susan has literally moved off of Wisteria Lane and a lot of her scenes are not with the other women. Yeah.
She like, she's poor, so she moves off the lane, but I think it was a way of like getting her away from the women while keeping her on the show. Wow.
Yeah. If only they knew we didn't want her.
Yeah. Why don't they just kill her off? Yeah.
Or, you know, she can move across the country. No, but like Desperate Housewives loves to kill off main characters.
Yeah, they do. And it's kind of a good thing of the show.
They like anyone. It could be gone in a minute.
Yeah. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? If it's our fifth and final story, that's brought to you by Netflix, perchance.
Perchance it is. So the new comedy series, Running Point on Netflix, is whatever, it's the name on everybody's lips.
It's number one on Netflix. It's only been out for like a couple of days.
And it comes from hit maker, Queen, who we were just talking about at the top of the show, Mindy Kaling. And it stars everybody's favorite queen of rom-coms, Kate Hudson.
So the show is really edgy. It's hilarious.
It's a twist on the underdog comedy. It features Isla Gordon, who's played by Kate Hudson, and her rise to the top of one of the most iconic professional basketball franchises and her dysfunctional yet lovable family trying to block her shot.
So she's like a Nepo queen. Her family owns this big basketball team, but a scandal forces her brother to resign.
Isla is then appointed to president of the team. They're one of the most storied OG LA basketball franchises, and it's her family's business.
So she's super ambitious. She's often overlooked, but she has to prove now to her brothers, the board, the sports community that she was the right choice for the job, especially in the unpredictable male-dominated world of sports.
She may not have been part of the original playbook, but as the skeptics will soon learn, she's calling the shots now, like it or not. It's a really fun and easy binge with sharp and edgy laugh-out-loud moments.
It has a couple of things that you know it's going to be good. It's made by Mindy Kaling.
She's never made anything bad. Kate Hudson is a star.
And also the cast, you're going to be on IMDb the entire time, being like, where do I know this person from? It launched a couple of days ago, so you can watch it now on Netflix. Everybody's talking about it.
It's called Running Point. I'm sure when you open the app, it's like right there because it's number one.
It's really good. So enjoy that.
And today's episode is also brought to you by Good Ranchers. Huge problem happening.
Over 140,000 family farms in the U.S. have closed down since 2017, and Good Ranchers is here to solve that problem.
So they are selling 100% American-sourced beef, and they're shipping it right to your door.

And not even just beef, excuse me, meat and seafood. Every cut of beef, chicken, pork,

it's born, raised, and harvested right here in local farms in the USA. So you can support American ranchers while knowing exactly where your meat is coming from.
Plus, their meat is free from

hidden additives. So there's no antibiotics ever, no added hormones, no seed oils.
It's just a

simple ingredient. That's meat.
And they have farm-to-table transparency. So you're supporting

American ranchers getting meat that you can feel good

about. You're serving clean, simple food exactly as it should be to your family.
Plus, it's all

getting delivered right to your door. So the convenience element of it, the ethical element

of it, the health element of it, there's so many reasons to shop good ranchers. So whether you

eat meat or not, they have really good seafood. I'm always getting salmon from there.

And I'm weird about salmon. I need it to be trustworthy.
And I feel like good

Thank you. eat meat or not.
They have really good seafood. I'm always getting salmon from there.
I'm weird about salmon. I need it to be trustworthy.
I feel like Good Ranchers, it's fabulous. All products on GoodRanchers.com have trustworthy ingredients.
The meat is born, raised, and harvested right here in the USA, which is something we've been talking about a lot from Yellowstone. They are delivering it straight to your door.
You're supporting American Ranchers. Right now, they are running their spring into action program.
So you and your family can support local ranchers and easily get American quality meat delivered right to your door. When you subscribe to any of their boxes, you'll decide if you want free chicken nuggets, free bacon, ground beef, or salmon in every order for a year.
Just make sure you use our code TOAST at checkout. So that's goodranchers.com.
You're going to spring into action,

help American farms with every purchase at good ranchers.com. Code is toast to get that free meat for a year and $25 off good ranchers.
It's American meat delivered. Thank you.
I just got cod, halibut and salmon from good ranchers. So we're having a party pop off.
Our fifth and final story is some legal news jay-z is actually um now suing the young woman the jane doe who accused him of rape in an explosive lawsuit who had since dropped her suit and now she he is suing her so jay-z claims the jane doe who accused him of rape in an explosive lawsuit knew full well no such thing ever happened and now he's dragging her court over it. The music and fashion mogul just filed a lawsuit against his anonymous rape accuser and her attorney, Tony Busby.
Busby. Classic Buzz.
What's his name from, uh, read my mind, Sing. Buster Moon.
Yeah, I always think of Buster Moon when I hear Tony Busby. In the lawsuit obtained by TMZ, Jay claims his accuser kept pushing her false rape story in the media and in the courts, despite allegedly admitting the assault story wasn't true.
He claims that Jane Doe told Busby he didn't assault her and the lawyer, quote, pushed her to go forward with the false narrative of the assault by Mr. Carter in order to leverage a maximum payday.
He calls the whole thing an evil conspiracy to get him to pay Busby a large sum of money to keep the allegations quiet even though they both knew they were pushing lies so here's the thing it's such an egregious story this whole this allegation um and if it's not true like i i fully understand jay-z taking this all the way to clear his name because these are the types of allegations even though the thing is dropped like they stay with you forever so you want to fight it as hard as you can if it is true and now this woman who spoke out is being taken to court by her abuser like it's a night it's a it's the most horrible nightmarish thing you could possibly imagine you know yes um and she has spoken out since and said she sticks to her story and said that he's intimidating and terrifying her so um it is confusing why that he then dropped the suit but when i first saw that he was suing her i was like well if this is untrue and she like he did she did defame him then because we can't not yes we can't not we can't just like forget that that happened of course heard like ever since it's come out like it's definitely clouded how you see him our judgment um and i also feel like if he wanted to go away he might have just like accepted that she's moved on or dropped it and not like brought it back up to the fore and now that it's going that he's suing her like things are going to come out. So it's an interesting move.
Yeah. That I think like speaks to an innocence.
Yeah, of course, because if you're guilty and the person drops the charges, you're taking the win and you're shutting up. Yeah, and you're not going to excavate more.
No, and like make more news stories and remind people about this. You kind of got away with murder.
murder so i agree all signs point to this potentially being innocent i don't know yeah but she is saying that jay-z is trying to bullying her into saying the accusations are false because even though she dropped the suit she didn't say that it's not true right she didn't say she like made it up yeah in documents she claims that she was recently approached outside her home and cornered by two people who told her they were investigators working for one of Jay's lawyers. She claims that people tried to get her to sign an affidavit stating that her rape claims against Jay-Z were false, but she refused.
She also claims the alleged investigators asked her if her attorney, Tony Busby, sought her out as a client and offered her money to pursue false claims against Jay-Z. Two allegations she says that she denied.
Yes. Also, I could see this a world in which this person who just wanted to speak her truth wants no part of this.
It's something that terrible that happened to her. Now she's being harassed and intimidated by one of the most powerful, wealthy men in the world.
I could see her dropping it for that reason. Yeah.
Not because it's not true. So it's just a terrible story.
Yeah. Because the nature of like the original allegations are so Yeah.
abhorrent. And now that's she's in a scary place.
And now he's suing her. And like the public is left confused.
Yeah. Right.
And now she's taking on the financial burden of being sued. Yeah.
So Was that the fifth and final? That's the fifth and final. Okay.
Let's dive into Dear Toasters our weekly advice segment. So every every Tuesday, Jax and I help out a swirly in need.
You can email us, deartosters at gmail.com or head over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. We'll read three submissions every week.
Try to help out girls going through relationship issues, hygiene issues, recently a lot of breastfeeding issues. Whatever it is, it's totally anonymous.
Don't worry. We'll never start stuff know, start stuff.
And if you have written into us and we've read your submission on air, if you have an update for us, we have an update today. I would love to hear from you.
Warning, today's update is not the one we were hoping for. It was a fun little one we had a couple of weeks ago and it's pretty recent.
So I'll get to it later. Hello, Swirlies, long-time listener and a big-time fan who's in need of some serious help.
I have a five-month- old baby girl who's being cared for at home by a nanny two days a week. For the second time in a month, I have gone into my bathroom to discover a giant shit left unflushed in the toilet.
I think the nanny is worried that a flush might wake up the baby. But what do I do? My husband says I need to text her asking her to please try to remember to flush.
But I'm so non-confrontational and the thought of it just makes me want to die do I suck it up do a pre-flush before opening the lid please help sincerely a grossed out mama I just have to say it didn't occur to me that like she might have been leaving the turd in the toilet like for the sake of the baby which makes me think she's a good nanny which is all that matters yeah no and it's like if you like everything else about her then like this can be solved I actually liked yourself of like if you actually don't want to confront her, but I do think that you should. If you don't want to, you could just do a pre-flush before you open the lid.
But I think that you could text her literally saying what your husband said. And that way it's not really a confrontation if you don't like.
He could write the text and send it from your phone. Just like it should be said.
I know. But like then you embarrass this woman who's taking care of your baby.
Like I think in terms of priorities, and I've never hired a nanny before, but trust me, I will. I feel like the priority is like, is this a sound of mind person who's keeping my baby safe? Like, okay, her bathroom habits aren't ideal.
But again, it's not that she's forgetting to flush for no reason. If the baby's sleeping and it could wake up the baby, like that's really thoughtful actually.
So I know it sounds so crazy, but like I might find a way to live with this because it is so hard to find a nanny you could trust a flush in another room like really shouldn't make a sleeping baby okay but maybe this is like a really sensitive sleeper is that a thing she yeah but she might have a she probably has a sound machine if she's so sensitive you can flush in another room if she doesn't maybe the solve here is a sound machine. Yeah, but if your baby's sleeping without a sound machine, honestly,

like don't bring one in.

Slay.

Like they have to slay your question.

That's true.

But also like if your baby's sleeping without a sound machine,

then they can sleep through a flush.

That's true.

We need more details on your baby's sleep schedule.

I think it's okay to say, and also like you don't want to set this precedent

of like you don't want to ever tell, like you want to be able to like. And also, like, you don't want to set this precedent of, like, you don't want to ever

tell, like, you want to be able to, like, just be like, hey, like, quick feedback.

Just, like, you know, flush the toilet.

Yeah, I guess.

You need to be comfortable giving feedback to the person who's, like, taking care of

your kid.

Or you could even say this, like, I appreciate that you don't want to flush.

You could just assume the best in her.

I say, I appreciate that you don't want to flush the toilet when the baby's sleeping,

but it's totally fine.

She won't wake up.

Please flush the toilet when she's sleeping.

Like, she's able to sleep through that.

Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, next up. Hey, Jackie Owen-Clerd.
I misplaced my phone the other day and I grabbed my husband's phone to call and locate it. I typed wife into the search bar.
That's my name and his phone. And another contact came up under the name work wife.
I was obviously pissed and I asked him about it. He shrugged it off, said his work colleague put her number in there while they were on a work trip a few months ago just in case he needed to contact her.
Contacts there were seven people on this trip. He claims he didn't realize that that was the name she put in and changed it to her name when I requested him to do so.
Should I be worried? Sincerely, a confused newlywed. The work wife is not a thing.
I hate. Hate.
And the thing is, is that work wife has become something people talk about, right? And I like how there's no work husband. I know people say that, but it's not, it's work wife.
That's what. Who came up with the term work wife? Who, it was the woman.
Of course. It was the work, it wasn't the man.
It was the wife wife it was the work wife just like wanting to feel special yep and maybe it's a funny joke when people are single maybe not funny to me but people have different senses of humor like claudia thought olivia people are different but when you have a wife you no longer have a work wife do you think that there's something thatfarious going on do you think there's something nefarious going on between him and this lady no but i think okay and that's a different question like i'm gonna operate no that there isn't but i think like work wifery like speaks to an immaturity and a lack of seriousness that i don't put up with no when i think of work wife i think of two single people working in an office who like call each other their work wife in the hopes, it's like a flirty thing. So anybody who's engaging in work wifery who has a real ass wife at home, nefarious by nature.
Immature at best, nefarious at worst. You do not have a work wife when you have an actual wife.
You've been given a gift of like finding out about this and you need to keep your eye on this woman i'm sorry women can be jezebel self in as work wife like girls so cringe stop it there is a character there's this like blonde girl on tiktok who does this character she's such a good actress i fucking hate her and um jay said Jason, she is like someone's work wife. And like she's always doing skits like when the wife is around.
Be like, Jason, can I have your jacket? I'm kind of cold. Like she kind of sounds like Chrissy Cavallari.
She's insufferable. Like she makes me hate.
And I don't, like Ben doesn't work in a conventional office. This has never been like something I've experienced.
I think there's a special place in hell for women who refer to themselves as someone's work wife. Yeah.
I agree. Like that's not a good look for women.
No, we need to work on that stat. And maybe work wife erasure.
Work wife erasure. If they won't stop being married in the office, then you should find her partner.
Yep. Get a job at his company.
Become his work wife.

Check. stop being married in the office, then you should find her partner.
Yep. Get a job at his company.
And become his work wife. Checkmate.
Checkmate. Now, because last week I had to run off of DT with a duty, I am going to do a third submission and then the update because the update's very brief.
Even though we did three submissions last week, you're acting like we were in the red. No, last week I rushed through the final one and I had planned on doing four.
You promised four, but we did three. Yeah, so I'm making it right.
Hey, Jackson Turney. I found a pair of black lacy thongs in my husband's nightstand.
I knew they weren't mine because I wear an extra large and these were a small. When I questioned him about it, he said he bought them from an OnlyFans model and he showed me the bank transaction.
He says this is totally normal. All guys do this.
I think it's extremely strange and I don't understand where he's coming from. Is this normal behavior? I assume these are like worn undies, right? That's like a thing.
Otherwise he could get them from Victoria's Secret. Yeah.
And sorry, I say this is a thing. I mean, it's a thing for people in prison.
Right. So I don't have personal experience with this, so it's hard for me to weigh in.
But like people, these girls make a living. So people do buy this.
Now, do married men buy this? Yeah, probably. Is it nefarious? Secretly.
Yeah. If you come to find out, like it's not good and they have to wean.
I'm sorry. And what needs to be said here is as somebody who wasn't extra large for most of my life, if like my husband's engaging with other women's undies like I'm upset if it's a woman three sizes smaller than me like now I'm also feeling insecure and like I like I because you're you're interested in something so visually different than what you're married to like that's a red flag is that crazy to say oh I don't know sometimes you like to wear big undies even if you could be medium size I like a big undie yeah but I think she said like she wears an extra large I guess no but a thong you don't wear a big thong you wear a thong that fits true to size okay that's a different issue I didn't even think of that but like I'm really trying to think oh that was my first thought like of course you want like someone did something bad divorce but like, divorce.
But, like, this is your husband. So, like, what can you do? I think that, like, you need to cut, like, cancel his credit cards.
Like, he shouldn't be allowed to be on the internet shopping. Agreed.
He really has to do penance. Like, this is not good.
Yeah, and I think it's okay for you to say, like, I'm not comfortable with this and I want you to stop. Yeah.
And it's her or me. Yeah, it's or me and like she's never gonna choose you so I'm what she got right right and there's something like really losery about a man like thinking he's special to an only fans model like get a grip you are one of millions you're just a transaction I'm trying not to judge because I'm trying to like there are millions of people who buy buy these underwear.
Do this. There's a lot of people out there like this.
Now, I think this is probably something that could be rehabilitated if he's an otherwise P-jom who has a predilection for undies. She didn't say that, by the way.
She didn't say P-jom anywhere here. Like, do they have kids? Are you going to end it all over a couple pairs of panties? She didn't say that.
And I don't think they have kids. And I don't think that they should end it.
But like, I don't know. Give me the ick if like, not only that he's like buying undies, because that's just like a weird like kink thing.
But like, he obviously thinks he's like special to this woman, you know? Like, that's the ick. Like, dude, you're like, she's paying her rent.
Like, you are nobody to her. Yeah, I feel like he needs rehabilitation.
I love that. And that it's potentially possible.
Like, maybe maybe a bit of counseling I feel like this is something that needs to be like a watershed moment in your relationship not just like not a small fight I don't like this don't do it again sweeping it under the rug like as if you found out he was an alcoholic like yeah he's going away you will not buy anything from the internet I'm putting on parental controls like I think we need to take it really seriously make a really big deal about it so that he recognizes it that way so our update is from a girl who wrote in a couple of weeks ago about the c-section that was scheduled on her sister-in-law's birthday remember the sister-in-law was being like a big whiny bitch about it i'll reread the submission so my c-section for my second child was scheduled of March. It happens to be the same day as my sister-in-law's birthday.

She's in her late 30s.

I received a very bizarre text message from her going over some of the potential challenges

of sharing a birthday.

When I read this, I was super confused and then I was in shock.

She was getting so bent out of shape over having to share a birthday with her future

niece.

Backstory is that my first was a very traumatic delivery.

We're both very lucky to be here.

So I have a lot of nerves and anxiety.

And I just did what the doctor said in terms of date of the C-section.

She asked us what to do. Our advice was to text her back saying grow up.
Grow up. Okay, here's my update.
I responded back to her text message, basically called her selfish and childish. I may have even said, can you not go to dinner the night before like anyone else? What can I say? I was full of pregnancy hormones and very upset about the whole thing.
Long story short, she thinks I'm being insensitive about whatnot and we are not on speaking terms. Fast forward to yesterday, I ended up going into preterm labor and had my little lady early at 33 weeks.
We are both doing well. She's being a

little fighter in the NICU. This whole thing is so silly and pointless, yet guess who has not

reached out to me to ask how I'm doing? Sisters-in-law, what can I say? That's my update.

Love you, ladies. Can I just say this went from like a sisterly spat to like actually unforgivable

I'm not going to be able to do that. doing sisters-in-law what can i say that's my update love you ladies can i just say this went from like a sisterly spat to like actually unforgivable like your baby's in the NICU and your sister-in-law doesn't come by to visit or even text how you're doing like okay that's like a that's a relationship ending yeah no she's done you a favor you're not speaking great you don't want to speak to her like this is it it's over she's not coming she wouldn't be invited like the fact that we were having this argument at all proves how immature and like stupid she is but the fact that like now a baby came into this world the baby came early the baby's in the NICU like we drop everything stupid because this is what life is about and this is what matters and the fact that she didn't birthday oh right you won the fact that she hasn't reached out even even if you had a baby, like not traumatically, like it all went perfectly.
She might have reached out to the husband. I feel like what she was saying is, you know, she might have checked in on the baby via the husband because she said she didn't check in to see how I'm doing.
She didn't reach out to me. Yeah.
She said she who hasn't reached out to me and ask how I'm doing. Yeah.
That's still like the husband didn't do anything. Sorry.
Like it's it's not his time to in on. No, no, but he, she might be keeping up with the baby via the husband.
But yeah, she's a bitch. You're being devil's advocate.
And seriously, like ride this way. Like don't great.
I don't want to know you. I don't want to see you.
You can't come. And don't retaliate.
I'm attached to my baby. So if we're not speaking, you don't see baby.
And don't retaliate and give her, and she's so, like you are the victim here. She is the villain.

Do not retaliate and give her anything to be upset with you about.

Like you've won.

You don't have to see this person ever again.

Like she's a bitch and fuck her.

Yeah.

Cut.

Cut it out.

Clip.

Clip.

That's Deer Toasters.

Yeah, that's right.

I did an extra one

because we were like running really on time today.

I feel like Deer Toasters this week was just like not great for women. Is it ever? Like some women are really not showing their best selves in Deer Toasters.
I just want to say I'm grateful to all the toxic women in the world because they make Deer Toasters what it is. They keep Deer Toasters spinning around.
And the crazy husbands, of course. But like the crazy toxic friends.
But also I'm grateful to like the OnlyFans girls selling their undies.

Like four men to buy and keep

Deer Toasters popping. Agreed.
It's the Bonnie

Blues of this world that keep Deer Toasters spinning.

There's degrees.

Of course. Of OnlyFandom.

Yeah.

That's our show, you guys. Tomorrow is

Wednesday. We've got the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap.

And I'll be watching With Love Megan tonight.

So we'll have a little bit of With Love Megan recap.

WLM.

Yeah.

It's With Love Wednesdays.

With Love Wednesdays.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennium Morning Show,

where we deliver the fast-paced stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We are also available as a podcast anywhere.

Podcasts can be found on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iR Radio, CastBox, all the places.

Wherever you listen to podcasts, find us a toast.

Leave a five-star review about how beautiful, about how stunning, and of course, about how wickedly talented we are.

Love ya.

Bye.

Love ya.

Bye.

Bye.