Ham Salad

Last week we slagged off the Boomtan Rats.

And so I've been listening to the Boomtan Rats, and actually I think they're very good.

Oh, really?

Especially the song, which I did mention last week, Rat Trap, which I think.

Which I did not listen to.

I did not check it out.

Well, Henry listened to it this morning.

Oh, yeah.

I thought it was shit.

I wouldn't say I thought it was shit.

I just thought, I thought that I thought it was very maximalist.

Do I?

In style, they throw a lot at it.

And we're not pompous on this show, and it's very important that people remember that.

It's not a pompous show.

So, have I got the casting vote?

No,

that's not the game we're playing, Mike.

No, I was hoping for a bit of to be a sort of a king or queen maker, a taste maker for once in my life.

Do you want to play that game as well, Ben?

Yeah, we can.

I mean, the problem we have is we can't play copyrighted music on the show.

No, we've had in the past.

I tried to last week.

It's not totally your fault.

You were jubilant.

I was jubilant because when we'd heard the news that Egghead was alive, I instantly did what I do in a situation of extreme joy.

I grabbed my iPad.

You power up Stevie Wonder.

I power up Stevie Wonder.

That's what I did.

Stevie Wonder's happy birthday to you

song.

Because, of course, a tortoise's birthday

happens every year when they are birthed from the soil.

When they're birthed from the soil, it's a kind of rebirth, isn't it?

And it's like playing the opening chords.

And we were like, you paid about 30 seconds of it.

Paid about 30 seconds of it.

As Ben screamed at you, begged you to stop.

Yeah.

For copyright reasons.

And then, of course, there's always someone in this world, isn't there?

A Jobsworth type.

A podcast pooper.

A podcast pooper.

They're often referred to as a Dr.

Gribben.

Aren't they?

They're a balloon deflator.

They're someone that takes pride in shitting on bunting.

A really hard thing to do.

It takes a lot of time.

When it's assembled, he wants

fully hoisted.

Yeah, because anyone can shit on bolting.

On bolting?

Sorry.

I'm a bit ill today.

I'm going to be barely able to speak for the entire episode.

Just to give you that heads up.

Make your bunting point.

My bunting point was that anyone can shit on bunting that's been taken down.

Doing it during an active fate,

during the peak hours of a fate between 11 and and 2.30 p.m.

As the floats wheel past.

You can do it then.

As the carnival king and queen are being applauded.

People have got their own strategies.

I would say use that bouncy castle if you can.

Yeah.

And you do a lot of interesting stuff with mirrors, don't you?

Which helps you.

Because

the natural eye of a human will assume something isn't someone shitting on bunting if they possibly can.

Because

it's really hard to compute and process.

It's like if you look at a cloud, your brain will show you a face.

And if you look at the moon, your brain will sort of try and put a face together.

If you see someone shitting on some bunting,

you'll normally see just Nicholas Lintes' face.

Because that's what your brain's trying to do.

You'll think, oh, they've chiseled Nicholas Lintes into that tree.

That's a nice touch.

It can't be possible that it's.

Presumably, there's a David Jason Bush somewhere around here.

And then just wander on Karen and drink the fate.

But no, it's one of Britain's medium-tier podcasters.

Shitting on your bunting.

How do we feel about me calling myself medium-tier?

I know you're getting a bit.

I mean, why are we

excited, mate?

Sorry.

Yeah, so anyway, I was listening to that Boomtown Rat song this morning.

I thought, I thought it's a bit over the top.

They've really thrown the kitchen sink at it.

I was a bit much.

I actually had to turn it off.

It's also like that thing shouted at by a by a um

not by Bob Goldoff

and his cohorts.

And his cohorts.

Is it wall of sound vibe?

Yes, it is a wall of sound vibe, I would say.

Well, not quite, but it's quite.

There's brass, Mike.

Put it that way.

Is there brass?

I think so.

It starts with a...

I actually like the first opening bars were quite nice because it starts with just a simple bass line and like a drum beat.

And then suddenly the piano, it does it thing.

Well, the piano announces itself by doing a full all the way down the keyboard.

Yes!

Now we're talking.

It's like...

It's Jules Holland adjacent.

It probably would have been Jules Holland.

It probably was Jules Holland.

He got about.

He did.

It probably was.

Now, what I'm thinking is, obviously, we can't play it on the podcast, but we could do a thing where we tell the audience to queue it up and press play at the same time as us.

Yes.

And then we could appraise it.

Unless they're operating a motorcycle, for example.

Or a crane operator.

Especially if you're operating a motorcycle in one of those wall of motorcycles.

Yeah, but

yeah, if you're doing a motorcycle pyramid, now's not the time.

Not the time.

But if you're in a presidential motorcade, that's anything where it's fairly predictable and well, they can do whatever they like, can't they?

Really?

They can do what they like.

Motorcycle outriders,

they're a law unto themselves.

I saw four of them last night, actually, on the way to a gig.

Motorcycle outriders.

Mike, they were your escort.

Stop being so modest.

Why are they?

Because I didn't see them attached to any sort of convoy.

There were four of them in Lambeth, right by Lambeth North.

Oh, it's probably the Archbishop of Canterbury.

He doesn't have a.

Surely not.

Can I say, I saw

the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Kingdom the other day.

Did you?

Now, what I'm worried about is if I reveal stuff about where he was,

could I be assassinated or taken out by MI5?

But because for sort of retrospective security breaches, I think if you've already got beyond the cordon, someone's getting fired already.

They failed the Henry Packer tests.

That wasn't an actual Kierstalman.

That was a rubber Kirstalman.

That was a decoy.

It was a training Kirstarma.

It was a train.

It was a training decoy.

Yeah, it's the first test, which wipes out almost all the candidates, isn't it?

Because if you can't, because if I had any pack of Potters in with a croissant and a coffee in the middle of the delegation, then

you're out.

Out of the programme.

You're out.

And you're not even going to get into MI7, MIA, or any of the...

You're not going to get into anything.

No.

I'm going to guess football.

Oh, is it the football?

No, it wasn't football, actually.

But I tell you, it was a pub.

I'm not going to say where the pub was for security reasons.

I went to a pub.

Beg your pardon?

What?

What was Kay doing in a pub?

Oh, I thought you were saying, oh, Henry, you went to the pub.

No.

That's how you go to the pub.

You're a wastrel.

This guy's supposed to be running the country.

So I met my brothers

in a pub recently.

Guys, are you ready for some satire?

Here we go.

Was he there with Rachel Reeves plugging pound coins into the fruit machine in the hope of reviving Britain's economic fortunes?

Because that's what they're doing with our futures.

Ladies and gentlemen, please pray silence for a moment of satire.

Jonathan Swift, holding institutions to account, Mark Twain, speaking truth to power, Chaucer.

A core part of any healthy democracy.

Chumba Wumber.

Can our jokes actually change government policy?

Of course they can.

Quiet.

Please respect this important mode of humour.

So my first brother arrived there before me

and he texted me and said,

Henry,

Operation Pelican is back on the road.

The bunting is up.

Get shitting.

He said

Prime Minister Starner is in this pub.

That means that almost everyone else in the pub was a security guard, right?

Apart from your brother?

Well, that's the thing.

Like the bar staff, they're all security staff.

The fruit machine.

The fruit machine, exactly.

The fruit machine was a deep cover.

That's incredibly deep cover.

It's so hard to maintain a marriage and family and stuff when

you have to be dressed as a fruit machine.

They snap all the pool cues when they arrive, don't they?

Just in case there's an assassin hiding inside.

All the Scampy Fry packets were in little rubber tea coaties.

Everything was...

rubberized and cordoned off and all sharp edges were covered.

As I was arriving, my brother, he said in the text, like, oh, there's heavies and stuff knocking outside.

You can see.

So, as I was arriving at the pub, there was this guy at

the pub had, you know, like

benches and stuff outside, but it was cold night, so no one was out there except for one guy who was wearing black, but he didn't.

That's the thing about proper, proper security detail.

Taylor's arms.

Yeah, two Taylor's arms and a Taylor's head.

So basically, you assume it's a discarded manifesto.

You think, oh, a CNA must have closed.

Exactly.

And

before you finish that thought,

you're basically dead.

You're like, CNA must have...

And you're over.

Your head is in a sort of, is in a freezer box on its way to Iceland, and the rest of your body's being chopped up and dropped over all the home counters.

No trace.

And you never lived.

Your high school yearbook, that picture that was of you, it's not of you anymore.

It's It's of a young kid's drama.

No, so, so, but yeah, yeah, proper security details are XSAS.

They're actually not that, they're not that huge.

They're not like the ones in comic books and stuff.

He was just.

Why would they be XSAS rather than actual SAS?

How do you know what the provenance of these people was?

Did you inspect their military tattoos?

I just have great instincts on this kind of stuff.

Okay.

You're going to have to trust me.

No, but this guy must have been the security detail because he was sat there.

He wasn't doing anything.

He was bald.

He just looked like a sort of gardener or something.

He just looked like a bloke.

Just like a bloke.

But he wasn't dressed as a gardener.

He wasn't dressed as a gardener.

He just had sort of normal guy vibes, basically.

So as I was talking,

I was...

This is deconstructing your rifle.

I was deconstructing my rifle.

I thought it was probably not.

Blindfold on.

You want to build a rapport, don't you?

You show off to these SAS guys.

I've killed almost 20,000 times.

Operation Pelican is back on his feet.

I'm going to shoot someone in front of Kier Starmer and win his trust.

I'm not going to take out Starmer.

That would be too simple.

You take out someone in front of Starma and you become

Starmer's essential, effectively, Starmer's political wife.

Anyway, I deconstructed

my line bike.

on a little corner opposite the pub and suddenly I had this thing which I was thinking, fuck, like, I've got a rucksack.

I've got a helmet on.

I could be an assassin.

And this is what you, this is, you, you have this thought.

You can't, you can't stop yourself.

You have the balletic movement of a killer.

Is that a shadow moving?

No, he is the shadow.

He's the difference between the shadow and the man.

I don't know which is which.

I'll give you the codes.

I'll give you the codes.

And the little, the little glass file with the bright blue liquid in it that's crucial for something.

Have it.

So it was quite an interesting moment because I was like,

what?

I did the thing of like thinking, he must, I was like, I eventually convinced myself, he must think

I'm a killer because I've got the rocks.

I'm rushing at him.

I'm doing that thing where I tend to sort of fulfill people's worst expectations of me to naturally

just to get it out of the way.

Just to get him worse where he's out of the way.

Just to get out of the way on my terms.

You're rushing at him, screaming, Pakado!

Where's your beaker, Starmer?

Where's your British beaker?

So, sorry, what was Starmer doing there?

Was this literally just him having a drink?

He was with a bunch of friends, basically.

Maybe someone's birthday party or something.

He was with a bunch of people that look a bit like Starma.

Okay.

He might have been doing like a team talk to his look-alikes, his security companies.

By the way, I've just remembered we were engaged in a conversation to do music.

Boomtown Rats.

Yeah, let's do it.

So I was thinking we could listen to it.

Yes.

It might not be scintillating podcasting, but what I'm saying is to the listener, if you get, go on YouTube or whatever, Spotify, Deezer, Apple Meet, dust off your LPs.

Dust off those old LPs.

Yeah, you know what?

Get in your car and pop down to a garage, a boot sale or something.

Rifle through those LPs.

See if there's some old C90 mixtapes in a charity shop or something.

Yeah.

You're looking for the LP, the Boontan Rats, Atonic for the Troops from 1978.

And the track name?

The track name is Rat Trap.

It's Goggle Box for the Ears generation.

But without being able to hear it.

But without being able to hear it.

Yes.

Okay.

Three, two, one.

Nice beginning.

Simple.

Yeah.

Just a baseline.

Just a piano.

Lovely.

Yeah.

Simple.

Really good.

Let's keep repeating this.

Let's not go crazy.

Oh, you've done that thing with a piano.

Fucks.

What?

Everything's happening.

Ah, there's monkeys.

Monkeys have broken into the bandroom.

Ah, there's monkeys that take.

Ah, it's baboon.

It's baboon kingdom.

Ah, I'm being treaded on by a baboon.

Ow.

Hang on, is that Ben Partridge sitting on some bunting?

It's a classic cover for that.

Here comes Bob.

Why are you singing like you've got a funky lizard living in your throat?

Who sucks like that?

What do you think mike uh i'm finding it really irritating no

okay can we can we can we turn it down yeah

that's done

yeah no can we stop now yeah

i feel like there's a lot of there are a lot of ideas there are a lot of ideas in that song and they

they should have sort of decided on less of them it's like a paiella omelette

whoa

too many

too many ingredients but i've got to say

this is what one of the oldest lores of music listening is.

Second time I much preferred it to first.

Really?

Because it's like I can distinguish the pile of notes from the omelette notes now a little bit.

Mike, why are you scared of enjoying yourself?

All these enjoyable elements.

It's

once I begin to enjoy myself, then reckless things may start to happen.

Then things go absolutely crazy.

Sex, the thin end of the wedge.

Enjoyment.

Enjoyment is the path.

It's viking pleasures.

Exactly.

It's a viking level of pleasure.

Well, you know, you've gone completely berserker.

Yeah.

And you're putting your drone hat on and you're shitting on bunting up and down the path.

You're shitting on bunting.

You're doing that thing where you're genuinely going through, you're not going through doors, you're leaving silhouettes of yourself in brick walls.

Isn't it?

That's how you're getting through things.

You're going everywhere as the crow flies, as the crow is pissed.

So, yeah, so Mike, so do you think bit, bit, bit, oh, bit too much?

Felt like it started three times.

Maybe.

Yes, it does.

Yeah.

At this point, the recording was interrupted because Mike got a knock at the door.

Sorry about that.

No worries.

It was a man at the front door, one of the most threatening men I've ever seen in my life,

saying that he was a salesman, didn't specify what he was selling.

Oh, wow.

I said, sorry, I'm in the middle of the thing.

He said, it's 24 hours in the day.

You can spare me 20 minutes.

What?

He was really cross.

I said, I'm I said, I can't.

And he stormed off in half.

Oh, my God.

I think he's going to come back later and smash all the windows.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's for sure.

Genuinely the most threatening.

That's crazy energy.

Yeah, it was a really threatening sales energy.

Yeah.

He said, I'm a salesman.

I'm a salesman.

But didn't say what he was selling.

He had a big backpack on.

Quite a smart backpack.

It's sort of like a, you know, like the food backpacks that are sort of quite, they're quite ferment.

He wasn't a Geordie.

Was there a fishy aroma?

There was no odour.

Was that a tournament square hardware?

Mike,

I'm hoping this isn't the case.

There's a small chance that there's a legend which says that

Bjorn Fjalleravan, the inventor of the Fjalleravan rucksack,

once a year visits someone at random.

Oh, no.

And if they answer him in a kindly way, their face gets to go on the Fjalleravan Fox logo for the next year,

which is huge.

I turned him away.

And it looks like that may have happened.

Oh, no.

I think Mikey sounds like he was potentially one of those people that's like casing houses to see if anyone's in.

I don't know.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, I once had a man come around when I was living in London and he said, do you want to buy a mattress?

A used mattress?

No, I don't think so.

And then he said, oh, are you sure?

I said, well, where are they?

He was just a man on his own, and then he just walked off.

He hadn't fully worked through his story.

Is that like you're going to scam people?

I wonder what that story would have been by the end of the street because he would have been workshopping it, right?

That's surely must have changed.

Do you want to buy this belt?

Also, what if you'd said yes?

He would have really panicked.

That was probably the only way to foil them.

Yeah, it's a very, it's a dehydrated, it's a powdered dehydrated.

You just have to add water.

It's just, it's in this sachet.

It's the first sachet mattress.

Similar to the ones they use in NASA.

Also, 20 minutes, Mike, you wanted to do that.

20 minutes was a really weird.

20 minutes of your time.

Because who's got 20 minutes for that, for anything?

And also, like, if you are like, you're in the middle of something, like, he's still, you're still in the middle of something.

You didn't say, well, I'll come back when you're done.

Can we make an appointment to come back?

He said, it's now.

It's basically it's now or never.

And it's going to take 20 minutes.

20 minutes.

And, you know, does he reveal the product at the end of the 20 minutes, do you think?

I don't know.

See, now I'm really regretting not asking him in and

sacking you two off.

But so would you sense it was a product, not a service?

A product because he was carrying this very large, very smart rucksack, like I said, quite solid kind of

like a sort of plastic bin kind of type thing, you know?

So there's something in there.

Could it have been ferrets?

Could have been ferrets.

Because it was, it did look potentially soundproofed.

And he had quite tight trousers on to it, which obviously is crucial.

So you don't get anyone sneaking in.

You know what I mean?

A tight trousers are basically ferret-proof.

Yeah.

Which is why.

They will find a way in.

If there's a smallest bit of looseness in the fabric, it's got to be jeggings all the way.

Skinny jeans was so popular, isn't it, in the early noughties?

Which coincided with peak ferret time or peak ferret homelessness,

wasn't it?

And that's why in the 70s and 80s, of course, Wogan and the guests would hitch up their trousers just to make sure any loose ferrets could fall out

before the interview swept away by one of the runners.

Yeah,

they would drop out, they'd be shot, they would be stuffed, and their heads would be taken off, scooped out, and turned into ashtrays, which Terry Wogan would give to his family and friends for Christmas.

So, my theory, Mike, is that this man,

yeah, back in December,

he

buried egg

and that he was coming around today to sell you a new tortoise.

The classic tortoise Ponzi scheme.

Exactly.

Tortoise Ponzi one, too.

My God, it might have even been in a sort of tortoise upgrade.

It might have been a slightly bigger tortoise.

Yes, exactly.

Ben, I thought you were going to say that it's Santa.

I think it's going to be a really weird take on it because Santa's got a big luxury rucksack, hasn't he?

Full of presents.

That's true.

And everyone rebrands now and again.

He's He's had to become a dorsodork tortoise.

Sounds good.

Dorsador's tortoise grifter.

So, my theory, Mike, the ferret theory, I'd like us to go back to is that what happens is you talk to him for 20 minutes and you're like, well, to be honest, mate, I don't actually have.

You've told me all about the different chemicals, the different crystals.

Some of them make the ferrets pass out and dehydrate them so much.

You've basically got a snake.

Some of them make them go lost in powers.

You've got all these different things you can do to them.

But I don't actually have a ferret problem.

And then he goes, don't you, mate?

He looked down and he's poured the fucking bucket full of ferrets into our trousers.

While you're talking,

it's a ferret protection racket.

It's a ferret protection racket.

It's the oldest bloody job.

Okay, let's get back to the music thing.

So, I've got a song which I think, which that's Boomtown Rat song reminded me of, which I think is, I don't think you'll have heard of it because it's quite obscure, but I think it's really good.

I think it's it's it's a very, very rare thing in music, which I think, and I contend, it's a first-time liker.

Okay, first time you hear it, you just go, I like this.

I'm on board for the ride, let's do it.

Okay, yeah.

So, who is it?

What's it by?

Who's it by?

So, the song is called Romeo's Dune.

It's by Steve Forbert.

Right?

Okay.

Which is the

stage name of one Henry Packer?

Henry Packer.

And I think he's going to be huge.

So Steve Forbert.

Romeo's Dune.

Steve Forbert.

No, I didn't have to say it because he's not famous, I don't think.

So

I really contend it grabs you by the lapels, even if you're not wearing them.

It sticks a lapel jacket onto you and then grabs the lapels of it and shakes you around while kissing you on the forehead.

Okay.

By the way, Henry, before we start.

Sounds horrible.

Before we start, you described it as a bit obscure.

Yeah.

It's been listened to 47 million times.

But you don't know how many of those is me.

Okay, give us the countdown and I'll start playing Romeo's Key by Steve Forbear.

Three, two,

one,

play.

Okay, what I'm saying so far is it's very simple.

Yes, I'd agree with that.

Yeah.

So if you're not listening along, it's breezy.

It's the sort of tune you could sing along to without having ever heard before.

You know exactly where it's going at every

measure.

Right, I've turned it off.

Yeah, great.

What's the verdict, guys?

Bollocks for simpletons.

Let's turn on the beam machine.

Oh, yeah.

This week's topic, as sent in by Douglas

from Michigan.

Thank you, Douglas.

And he has entered ham salad.

What?

Ham salad.

Wow.

What a bold, what a bold guy.

Ham salad.

When I think ham salad,

I think of your sort of French salad gin bon.

Is that a thing?

I feel like I've had ham salads in France.

I feel like I've never had a ham salad in my life.

I feel like this is for me, this for me sounds ploughman's adjacent.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, I can do a plowman's.

I wonder if a ham salad is one of those things that all nations and all cultures have their version of.

Well all nations and cultures come to it in their own time, in their own way, but they all get there eventually.

Yes.

So all civilizations have made their way towards ham salad.

Well, it's the whole end of salad theory, isn't it?

There was a time when we thought we'd reach the end of salad.

We thought we'd reach the end of salad in the late 90s.

Everyone was eating salad.

No one was leaving school without knowing how to make a crouton.

Exactly.

Nisswa's became the most popular dish in Britain's prisons.

With a sort of Erzatz tuna.

With an Erzatz tuna.

Often smuggled in.

Known as prison steaks.

That's right.

Made by stuffing a lot of wet toilet paper down the back of a radiator.

whacking the heat on high.

But if you eat them, they can be very, very hallucinogenic, can't they?

Yeah, are they laced with spice, are they?

Well, they're laced with all sorts.

Yeah.

And you need to be careful.

It's quite street spice, I mean.

Street spice.

Oh, yeah.

Or actual spice, but the way it's been transported into the prison

is not nice.

No.

Ask human.

It's taking a turn, isn't it?

Coriaster.

Chinese five arses.

Ham salads.

What do you imagine when you imagine?

I mean, are we talking a sort of thinly sliced wafer piece of ham?

That's what I'm picturing.

As like a sort of doily over the top of a salad, or are we talking chunky bits of gamon?

Yes.

What's happening?

Or are we using it in

an idiomatic sense of, God, you've made an absolute ham salad of this, anyway?

We're going to have to start again.

Because it's like, oh, these things shouldn't be together, sort of thing.

Well, that's it.

Well, ham is often, I mean, it's just the great tragedy.

Ham is, I mean, it's one of the greatest achievements of mankind, and yet it is often often used in the pejorative, isn't it?

A hammy actor is not a compliment.

If something is ham-fisted,

it's not done well.

If the 18th century, if a woman was described as ham-shouldered,

you wouldn't want to marry her.

That was what they would say.

That's what they said with superstition, wasn't it?

But then the opposite, of course, was sometimes they'd say that she has the beauty of a thousand hams.

Well, that's right.

Well,

that's from the Iberian Peninsula, isn't it?

So that comes in with

the great ham migrations that happen.

Yes.

The Iberian approach to ham starts to permeate up through northern Europe, through northern Italy.

And of course, when the two ham dynasties, the Hams or the Hamsburgs,

obviously they were originally called the Habsburgers, a bastardization of ham.

When the Habsburgs married Eleanor of Aquinas,

that's when ham

came down off the shelf and came into people's pockets.

Certainly, idiomatically speaking.

But of course, ham was the first, the thing that people forget is ham was the first paper

and currency.

And currency.

And ships.

And ships.

Because fish don't eat ham, they assume wrongly.

Am I right in thinking there was a kind of like there was a craze for when the wafer-thin ham technology was first mastered.

I don't know if it was like in the 90s or noughties, there was a wave of wafer-thin fat ham was everywhere.

It felt like it was pretty ubiquitous in my childhood, yeah.

The thing about wafer-thin ham, which disturbs me, is we're talking about ham without grain.

Now,

every pig has grain.

It goes from the snout to the tail.

It has a direction.

If you've ever seen a pig and not knowing which way it's facing.

Or which way to cut it.

You know.

Yeah.

It faces snout to tail.

So all those fibers are running in that direction.

And so that's like any ham will have a kind of grain to it, but that wafer thin ham is a ham without grain.

So it's suggesting an omnidirectional pig.

Which is a great thought experiment.

It's a great thought experiment.

It has no place on a supermarket shelf.

Well, the thing, the thing is, what we're talking about is reformed ham.

Yes.

And that came around with the Reformation, of course

of course that's right that's right the reformation ham yes the reform the reformation the reformation ham started didn't it when um as we've already established on this podcast henry viih exploded

and the monks tried to reform him so they could give him a proper burial

but the there was also that there was a ham buffet in the same room because it there was a there was a ham well it's the high court isn't it it's the high court so there was little ham little finger food ham things.

Yeah, 24 hours.

And a lot of that ham got mixed.

They did reform something, but

a lot of actual ham got mixed in.

A lot of it would have been imported swine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's what gave them the idea.

And they thought,

let's get this wafer thin and get it out there.

So ham salad itself.

Have you had it?

I don't think I have had it.

So I don't think I've, I mean, as I say, the closest thing I've had is

I would have had a ham plowman's in my time.

Yeah, I like that.

So that's kind of of a bit of salad and a bit of ham.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And there'll be some sort of pickles and chutneys and

a lovely big chunk of freshly baked bread in some form or other.

You know, Branston's pickle or yeah, sort of that.

Of course.

A dollop of Kerrigan's mustard.

And some crisps on the plate?

Is that plowman's?

I wouldn't put, I wouldn't like, no, I wouldn't like to see crisps on a plate in a plowman's.

I wouldn't kick up a stink about it.

You would just siphon them quietly back into you just go into the kitchens and siphon them back quietly back into the packet.

I'd eat them and then and slag off whoever put the crisps on and in the car on the way home.

Is it one of those things that

the Plowmans is one of those things that we think of as having sort of old heritage, but it was like invented by MS in the 70s or something?

It was probably invented by Martin Amis when he was working in advertising or something.

It would be one of those ones.

I haven't seen it about.

It used to be an absolute staple of life.

I'm sure it was like the British cheese board or something came up with the idea of the plowman.

Yes, it does kind of feel

redolent of those 70s weird ads that we've sometimes played in the show.

Like as a kid, like if we'd stopped in a

like in a pub, like we're on a car journey on a day trip, stop in a pub, have lunch, whatever it is, I'd often go for a plan.

There'd be a cheddar, of course they would, and often, you know, the cheese board would have decided that, you know, we should try another cheese now.

Oh, there'd also be a little bit of a Wensleydale or a Red Leicester, something really adventurous.

Let's get Wensleydale out there.

No one can spell it, and it doesn't have any flavor that we know about.

Its only feature is negative, which is it falls apart.

But it does occur naturally in caves.

So it's cheap to produce.

Wenslandslingsley Dale.

But I think our listeners outside of the UK just won't know.

It's one of the few sort of Britain-only dishes, really, though.

What?

Wenslandslingsley Dale?

No, the plowman's lunch.

Yeah.

The plowman.

Can I have the plowman's, please?

I didn't think I've ordered a plowman's for like a decade.

My problem with the plowmans is it's often the same price as more like things that they've actually been cooked rather than just being assembled.

Do you know what I mean?

Hang on a minute.

So are you doing a calculation as to you're breaking down what you're buying in terms of how much it's costing both in terms of product and man hours?

And labor cost.

Yeah.

And labor cost.

And wattage.

You want that thing to hit the microwave.

So you think you're actually getting more man hours in a steak than you are in a plowman's.

Yeah, or lasagna.

You know.

And is it okay?

So you're paying for the mana.

So it's essentially, it's the idea that someone has slightly suffered to make this

that is adding to the flavour for Bonjamin.

Well, no, I'm exchanging.

The chef may have seared his hand accidentally while putting on this beef.

Delicious.

It's almost impossible to injure yourself on a plowman, so I went with hungry.

Thank you.

Look, so you think about the...

So in terms of the value of the dish, it's quite interesting.

I've never thought of that.

A plowman is just putting some ingredients on a plate.

It's not cooking.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a good point.

So it's a bit of a sort of, it's it's a bit of a con almost isn't it yeah this is why i've seen you um completely baffled bonjo when uh when people have ordered tea in a public place yeah you find it confusing don't you because you can make that at home because you can make it at home but coffee you know these things can be a bit more involved nice machines and all the rest of it i get that when you order tea and you realize you do the the maths of what's going on which is a tea bag

and some hot water Yeah, that's the markup is crazy town.

You've got to really want that tea.

Also, sometimes quite often they get it wrong.

They put the tea bag next to the pot.

Time is of the essence.

Every second, we're losing temperature from that water.

You've got to put the boiling water on the tea.

Like, oh, I take the tray back to my little table.

Oh, yes, I have enjoyed seeing Hampton Court Palace.

Yes, I did enjoy imagining I was Henry VIII exploding.

Yes.

But I am parched, though.

I probably shouldn't have thrown a hammer at

Wafer thin ham around the room to reenact that moment without us getting permission from the National Trust first.

It's like bomb disposal.

Every second is crucial.

Because tea is a reaction.

It's a chemical reaction.

H2O at boiling point.

Here we go.

Plus, tea molecules creates

milk.

Creates milk.

That's where it comes from.

Tea is a reaction.

Coffee is a suspension.

Therefore, temperature is not as important in the world of coffee as it is in the world of tea.

Wow.

That's true.

Tea is a chemical reaction.

Coffee's just stirring up a load of stuff that happens to be next to each other.

That's true, I think.

That's a Bulking's rolling.

So coffee's like a ham salad in that respect, whereas tea is more like a sort of ham mousse.

Right.

Okay, whereas tea is your lasagna.

Yeah, you're both right.

So I feel that in the UK currently,

the salad options that you have in restaurants and pubs, it's Caesar salad.

There's a lot of Caesar salad around.

can i say i've never

outside of the context of a side salad which i do enjoy yeah i've never ordered a salad as my main meal in a restaurant in 38 years no neither have i

what i've done that load it's it's a very metropolitan thing probably to do that no but i i've done that perhaps that's similar it doesn't feel worth it do you know what i mean if i'm going

to the expense and the bother of going out to a restaurant then i'm going to you know I'm hitting it hard.

I'm hitting something I would never make at home, generally speaking.

There's a generational thing, isn't there, with salad?

Because salad has...

So my granddad on my mother's side called salad rabbit food.

It's a classic.

Oh, is that a classic?

Okay, yeah.

It's a classic boomer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it's also absolutely correct.

Britain wasn't eating salad 50 years ago.

And they were fine.

They won the war.

They were the greatest generation.

On a diet of...

suet and boiled mints.

Exactly.

Yeah, salad well i think ham so if you add ham to salad it feels like it's trying to find a halfway house isn't it between these these two great traditions that we're talking about

which is pre-war suet liver kidney pie

a bladder pancake

When you could do an entire order in a restaurant that was all internal organs.

Esophagus quiche, please.

I love a gizzard flan.

Thank you.

Can you tell me about today's lungs, please?

What's the lung of the day?

So, yes, so what I'd like is: I'd like two lungs, and a rat spleen side.

I'd like a pancreas.

I'd like a, you know what?

I just want the full internal organs of a pig.

You know what?

Just skin a pig.

And I'll take the skin in a doggy bag.

I can use that for my brackie tomorrow.

Yeah.

And by doggy bag, I mean a bag made out of a dog skin.

That's a true pre-war doggy bag.

Maybe the ham salad is a way that these two traditions can come together and form something which is both metropolitan and earthy.

That's a good point.

Both healthy, but also a little bit cruel.

Just the right amount, though.

So it's the ultimate centrist dish.

Maybe it's the ultimate centrist dish.

And that's why Rory Stewart's eating one as we speak.

So France has a tradition of ham salads.

I'm looking on the internet here.

They've got a salad parisienne.

Oh, right.

Which is a classic French salad with ham, cheese,

potatoes, and sometimes hard-boiled eggs all tossed in a vinaigrette.

I'm getting saliva.

Are you getting saliva?

See, that sounds good.

Yeah, yeah.

But that doesn't sound like a ham salad to me.

That sounds like something more funky.

So, Henry, you found the French answers to the ham salad, which sounds quite nice.

I've put in ham salad into Google and found what the Americans do with the phrase ham salad.

Okay.

And I'm just going to send you a picture of it.

Is it a massive rack of pork ribs?

It's worse than that.

Drenched in barbecue sauce.

America.

America.

I'd like two tickets for the Chattanooga Choo Choo.

America.

America.

Get me the DA, a slice of old mama's apple pad and the animal in New York City.

Don't be ridiculous.

You'll never be an actor in B movies.

You'd be more likely to be President of the United States.

Mr.

Reagan.

Burgers.

Here we go.

Oh, my God.

Oh, come on, America.

You can and have to do better than this.

That's all they're going to be eating off the tariffs.

That's what they're going to have.

If I see that, I want to take a

a jet hose pipe to it.

That needs to be scoured off before.

Absolutely.

That's catastrophic.

So to describe...

How would you describe it, Henry?

Because obviously the listeners can't see it.

It's kind of like birthday cake pink.

It's like a birthday cake made of meat

has been put through a shredder.

It's like a potato salad, but they've...

Yeah, it looks very mayonnaise-y.

Yeah.

It looks like

someone has opened a clinical waste bin brought in a jar of mayonnaise in it stirred it up a bit and poured that onto a bowl oh gosh

hello hello time for a mini plug before we carry on yes please thank you to everyone who came i did a film screening of my new short film daddy superior starring mike wozniak oh

heard of him and a superb piece of work it is too thank you and i screened it in cardiff a couple of weeks ago, and lots of people came and it was good fun.

So thanks for coming.

And I'm doing some more if you live near London or Manchester.

Oh, nice.

This is your opportunity.

So 18th, Good Friday.

Yeah.

Ben, is it true?

I've heard a rumour that you've managed to snag quite a...

You've had a bit of a coup.

You've managed to snag quite an exciting person to do the interview with you, haven't you?

So on the evening of Good Friday, the 18th of April, I'll be showing my film.

I'll be showing some other good short films.

And then there'll be a short q a and the host of that q a sir nigel haven't

it's henry packer it's henry packer everybody are you really yeah yeah oh my gosh it's gonna be my first my first experience of being in the um the business end of of a q a of a q a

we'll have to make sure we both hitch our trousers up so you've got a really nice sort of curated organized evening with some screenings yeah and then at the end,

you're doing a loose format with Henry Backer.

And I can retrospectively derail something, but there's not a lot of people that can do that, but I can.

It's incredibly bold.

This is amazing power.

It's like time's going backwards.

He's derailed the whole evening, but it's already happened.

How did he do?

It's too late, mate.

Also, Mike, it's taking place on a boat.

Is it really?

What?

You never told me this.

Yeah.

It's a place called the Theatre Ship.

Oh, so you thought, who can I get that won't check the various insurance waivers to work on a boat?

You don't think I'm on top of this stuff?

I know you have to hire me as a merchant seaman, don't you?

It's international waters, by the way.

Where is it happening?

Is it in the um Chinese restaurant on the canal near London Zoo?

Because I've always wanted to go there.

No, I wish it was there.

Although, I've had, I don't want to besmirch a business, yeah,

but I'm going to.

Yeah, I've heard it's not great because they've got a captive audience,

which is the um

what all the animals from London Zoo, I think, eat there.

You've got the iguanas, they're captive.

The baboons are captive.

No, it's just like, because you go.

Are you trying to backwards derail this episode?

I'm just giving you a little favour on Scott's going to.

So this is taking place at a place called the Theatre Ship, which is a theatre on a ship.

Oh no, I heard of that.

Sounds lovely.

It's quite new.

It's in Canary Wharf, basically,

in one of the wharfs.

Okay, cool.

And they've got a cinema in there.

So I'll be screening on the evening of the 18th.

That's Good Friday.

Yeah.

And then also early afternoon on the 19th.

That's Easter Saturday, if there is such a thing as Easter Saturday.

And

feel free to,

you know, to experience your usual Easter sort of celebrations at the same time.

So on the Good Friday, imagine Jesus on the cross during the screening.

Hide some little chocolate eggs on the boat.

Hide some chocolate eggs on the boat.

Was he crucified on Easter Friday?

Good Friday, yes.

Good Friday.

And in Saturday, he's just dead in the tomb.

And that's the vibe we're going to go for for the Q ⁇ A on Saturday, honey.

That's the vibe for the Q ⁇ A on the Saturday afternoon.

Oh, I'm looking forward to it.

I'm really looking forward to the event.

Yeah.

It's going to be good fun.

And then if you're in Manchester on Sunday the 27th,

we're screening at a place called Cult Plex.

Nice.

Cinema, and there'll be a Q ⁇ A with myself and Chris Cantrill.

Oh, brilliant.

Oh, lovely.

And there's two screenings in one evening in Manchester.

So, yeah, do consider coming.

I'll put ticket links in the show notes for this show.

Time to read your emails.

Yes, please.

When you send an email,

you must give thanks

to the postmasters that came before.

Good morning, Postmaster.

Anything for me?

Just some old shit.

When you send an email,

this represents progress.

Like a robot chewing a horse.

Give me your horse.

My beautiful horse.

Okay.

This is from Big Cath.

Hello, Big Cath.

Hi, Big Cath.

Hi, Beans.

Your early work discussing nominative determinism prompted me to write.

Now, I don't remember that, but we could have well talked about that.

Yeah.

Yeah, rings a bell.

When we were selecting which obstetrician would deliver our baby, we had the choice of a few different practitioners.

It was tempting to choose Dr.

Orifice.

Yeah.

But I didn't fancy my odds of paying attention.

To this day, I lose sleep wondering when he decided that orifices were his jam.

Was it nominative determinism, or did he change his name via deed poll out of commitment to the brand identity?

Yeah.

P.S.

I've heard from a midwife that he asks people to pronounce it orifice.

Of course, he does.

Orofice.

You do come across some good nominative determinisms, don't you, in the media?

They'll be like, and it was over weatherman, Keith Mist.

Derek Hailstones.

Yeah.

And I always enjoy it.

Aaron emails.

It feels to me like there's a Goldilocks zone for bollockings.

Right.

Either an error-free episode where there's no room for a bollocking or too many errors, so trying to bollock you guys becomes an insurmountable task.

Then he writes, horned hats off to you for an entertaining, if historically inaccurate, episode about Vikings.

Okay, I see what he's...

Well, the Vikings was always going to be a bollocking dense.

So Aaron's, he's suggesting.

He could have absolutely pelted us with bollockings, left, right, and and centerbodies.

But I don't respect this, Rawren.

He's kept his powder dry.

We veered left and right in a reckless way without any cause for the rubble and devastation that we left in our wake.

Which we wouldn't have dared to do if the Vikings were still with us, would we?

But what we did was emulating the Vikings themselves, I would argue.

And actually, in a way, that was the real key to understanding that episode.

Just go back and have another little listen.

Also, I don't think we got that much wrong.

Really?

I mean, I'm willing to, I'm drawing bollocks here, potentially, but I think we did all right.

Okay.

I was proud of us.

We, our source material, it's mainly Ethelstan the Unwise, isn't it, that we read?

And Ethelstan the Unwise has had a lot of.

He's had his critics, hasn't he?

Yeah.

Well, he only managed to publish three runes, didn't he?

So you have to read between the runes a fair bit.

That's right.

And the poems of Edmund Iron Buttocks, which we've translated from the original Saxon.

But I'm going to say, I think we did it right.

And if you want to bollock as Aaron, bollock us, don't just pussy foot around it like that.

Joel's feeling tasty.

Has he not actually given us a specific bollock?

No.

He's just sort of hinted at the idea there might be lots waiting for us.

But yeah.

Owen doesn't have the courage of Haralted Rada.

Aaron, you've really got BP's blood up there.

You really have.

You can't.

I'm going to go berserk.

Bondo's about to go berserker because he's about to go in berserker mode.

He's seeing red.

He needs that grapple now.

He's got the blue makeup on his face.

He's ready to go.

By the way, I've found some examples of nominative determinism.

Yes, please.

Hussein Bolt.

I never really thought of that.

Like a lightning bolt, yes, that's good.

No, well, Bolt, as in fast.

Or lightning bolt.

Yeah.

Thomas Crapper, of course.

But I think that's not the other way around, though.

Is that the other way around?

I think so.

So turds were named after him because he looked like a turd.

Well, it was Cedric Cedric Turd, wasn't it?

Igor Judge, a British judge.

That's not very good.

That's not very good.

William Wordsworth, I suppose.

No, yeah, you want like, yeah, your news, you want your traffic eye in the sky.

You want

Marjorie Hyundai, don't you?

Yeah.

Or a politician called Derek Connartist.

Here we go.

Ouch.

And introducing the right honourable gentlelady for Wilsdon,

MP Sarah, fibs a lot and doesn't tell the truth much.

Wow.

Okay, Aaron is emailed.

Dearest Beans, following Henry's story of the Russian masseuse who saw him and immediately knew that he sat at a computer, I had to share the story of the holiday masseuse/slash diagnostician and my highlights of 2024.

Me and a few friends were on holiday in a villa in Greece with a local nearby spa.

We decided to book a home visit day, transformed one of the rooms into a spa for the day and took turns in being treated to a lovely relaxing massage.

High rollers.

It was a truly idyllic day.

However, when we returned from each massage, we realised we were each being diagnosed very accurately by the masseuse with a different condition.

They started fairly harmlessly.

I can tell you'll sat at a desk all day, for example, ramping up slightly to you have bad circulation.

And then it became quite the moment of anticipation to see which affliction each friend would be diagnosed with as they returned.

She diagnosed me pretty accurately with some very specific health issues and was right.

But she also said I had deep psychological trauma.

Might be upset about the momentum.

That's overstepping the mark a bit, isn't it?

That feels.

The grand finale, an absolute favourite of the day, was when my oldest friend returned from his massage.

The maze touched his back and immediately asked him in her strong French accent, do you suffer from, how do you say, liquid shits?

That is actually,

yeah.

Bullseye.

That's the show I've said.

But I don't say suffer from necessarily.

I say enrich my lives and the lives of those around me with.

A truly perfect end to a perfect day.

All the best, Aaron.

Amazing.

Is it amazing or did he just have some shit up his back?

We don't know

you know it gets about in that state doesn't it how would it go up their back mike wouldn't it go down your leg well exploso not if you're going down a flume into a it depends where you're yeah exploso splash back yeah if you're in a harness you're cleaning windows in a skyscraper you've swung upside down yeah yeah you're good at this yeah mike you'd be bloody good in a tribunal

i couldn't wriggle out of it

you're absolutely ice cold in a tribunal setting.

You've got me and Ben looking at you.

So, Mr.

Boznier,

can you please explain

why this person's got shit up their back?

I've got a thousand and one scenarios.

We can't get to him.

He's completely tribunal-proof.

It's time

to play the ferryman.

Patreon.

Patreon.

Patreon.com

forward slash three bean salad.

Thanks to everyone who signed up on our Patreon.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you.

Patreon.com forward slash three bean salad.

You can get video episodes and bonus episodes.

And if you sign up at the Sean Bean tier, you get a shout out from old Mickey Wozniak.

Indeed, you do.

You were there last night, wouldn't you, Mike?

I was, yeah.

I'd ride old knees up.

Well, it wasn't either, wasn't it?

But then it all went

all went a bit sour, didn't it?

Or went a bit odd because

no one could find Desmond.

Could they?

Thank you, Henry.

That's correct.

And here's my report.

It was a rollicking night as ever at the Sean Bean Lounge, although everyone had a little niggle at the back of their minds because no one could find Desmond.

We looked in the Wasp rodeo and found Anna Brown, Zach Smith, Hamis Ritchie, Daniel Fletcher, Nurse Claire, and Lauren Glover, but no one could find Desmond.

We looked in the high-risk White Goods Jenga Suite and found Paul McIntosh, Rebecca Butler, Ty Prodon, Josh Burns, Wee Man Nick and Graham Wilson, but no one could find Desmond.

We looked in the Second Thoughts Blood Donation Return Centre and found Paul Jackson, John Christian Pass, Avan Kelly, Victoria H., P.P.

McGeehee, Joel J.

The Casda, and Andrew, but no one could find Desmond.

We looked in the reenactment chamber where the 2004 Oscar acceptance speech of Sean Penn was being portrayed by Ella W., Casey Dutton, Laura Lovegrove, Laura D., Lisa Jones and Penelope Pennington, but no one could find Desmond.

We looked in the Hide the Pavlova arena and found a vigorous competition underway between Ben Veaze, Bobo Momo, Jessica Billhart, Mary Manning, Paul Manjarides, Kreston and Johnny Schultz, Will Stevens, Jamie Ewing and Matt Owen, but no one could find Desmond.

In the Craft Centre, Stephen Ball, Andrew Holmes, and Soapy were conducting a masterclass in dried estate agent pressing attended by Isabel, Pure Commerce, Finn's Dad Richard, Chris Pugsley, Kev McCee, Benj, and Katazi the Haberdashery, all of whom found a sense of well-being, but none of whom could find Desmond.

In the ceiling testing laboratory, Charlie Fox, Daniel Canty, Matt Dobbs, The Basics 22, Muttand, Patreon at Bennett.lee, Rune Flint, Hal Smith, Riley McMullen, and Roy Legg were being fired vertically from compressed air canisters to stress test the light fittings and they found that Remy Bohm, Will Mackey, Olivia Hawkins, David Griffith, Harold Thalang, Addison Johnson and Caligari had been trapped under a layer of dry wool but no one could find Desmond.

Taking part in the metaphysical mixed doubles tournament in the poltergeist squash courts, we found Lisa, Helen Etheridge, Sean W., Nicola Block, Stuart Bedford, Meg Fisher, Exiled Taff, Victoria Wilson, Abby G, Craig Alexander, Courtney Clay, Tom, Tom and Tom, but no one could find Desmond.

Jessica Sapsford looked up Craig Hefley, who looked over Helen's shoulder mid-conversation, who looked through Eddie Cole, who looked behind Mr.

Badger and saw Greg Harry's picking the pockets of Rebecca Hayes and removing Brett Limpero's missing lucky crown jewel, but no one could find Desmond.

In the traditional Welsh dress fitting rooms, a fight had broken out over the shiniest hat between Andy Parks, Callie Littler, Ash Sweeting, Harry Harvey, Kevin Ducks, Graham Morrison, Hoyson Duckrap, Craig Butters, Stevie P., Matt Slough, Ruth Baker-Liesk, Christopher Heitch, and David Orovich, and we found Frank Leonard Walker sticking rude post-it notes on the shawls of Stretford Boy, Stephen Strenker, Nick Cohen, Sarah and Sarah, but no one could find Desmond.

Claire Circuit, Zaney Penguin, Robin Susanna, and Andy Morn all disguised themselves as Desmond in an effort to bring the search to a close and get on with the night, but each was unmasked in moments because none of them could convincingly do the walk.

So we continued to look and at the Sean Bean Immortality Project Organ Harvesting Department found Ben Isham Smith, Magpie, Kelly Boo, Sarah Robbo, Snor Larson, Gemma Charles, Susan Ranieri, Igor Jeremich, Heather Fallon, Kev Mack, Karen Watson, Kate McGee, Flora Day and Matt Vinyl and the Emulsions, all of whom were putting their paperwork in order, but none of whom could find Desmond.

As the last person to see Desmond, David Claridge was subjected to some experimental interrogation techniques by Jason Jones, Le Grand Beaujon, Imogen, Michael Stairides and Peter Panoshokola-Matheson, but to no avail.

And Raymond Ramirez, Jared Griffin, Jeffrey Phillips and Eliza Malloy tried to conjure him in the Pacadornia Prayer Complex, but achieved buttkiss and still no one could find Desmond.

In the Terrapin Commando training camp, Willie B., Anna Adcox, Anna O'Matney, Pete Appleby, Greg Morrison, Matthew Jeffery, and India Baycroft suspended live firing exercises to search for Desmond.

And then the What Happens When We Soda Streamer Man sells, Marty McFly, Ted, Charles Watson, and Joe, down tools as well, but still no one could find Desmond.

Rosie Eisner, Robert Hughes, Joe the Big Man himself, Dominic Moffat, Joe Knowles, Michael Minchella, and SMBF Cogs Quara called it quits and attempted to make a new Desmond with Papier Mache and Twigs, but it was soon washed away in the tears of John Paul Andrews and Alex Rose, and by the vibrations from Catherine's protest bugle.

Tom Leenan and a man called Gareth asked who Desmond was exactly and were julienned by the mob before they'd even had a chance to take their glasses off.

Only Kelly Vivanko was able to cool things off with a 97-foot-tall magic eye cartoon of the essence of Desmond, the hypnotic quality of which allowed everyone to stop thinking about the fact that no one could find Desmond because at the end of the day no one could find Desmond.

Thanks all.

Okay, let's finish off with a version of our theme tune.

Let's finish off with a version of our seed.

Let's let's finish off with a version of our the let's finish off with a version of our theme tune.

Thank you, Henry.

All right.

Ben's been under the weather and he hasn't mentioned it at all in this episode.

Have you?

I think I might have mentioned it at the beginning, but yeah.

Very brave boy.

It's been sent in by Simon.

Thank you, Simon.

He says, please find attached to my three-beats hella jingle in the style of the French techno house robots daft punk.

Oh.

So let's.

I was listening to some daft punk just last night on the way home.

Weird.

Yeah.

It's quite a good go-to, like, feeling a bit tired behind the wheel music, I find.

love it, absolutely love it.

I never got your review of that song that I played you earlier.

You did.

Oh, yeah, I got my because I didn't get Ben's, Ben.

Just Tosh.

No,

you didn't just like love it.

That's it from us.

See you next time.

Thank you.

Thanks for listening, Cheerio.

bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, bean, be

a beat, be

a bean, be

a bean, be a bean, be

a bean, be

a bean, be

Three, three, three, three, me, three, me, three, me, three, meet, south, south, south, south, south, south, south, south, south, south, south.