Fifth Wednesday Informationcast

Now, we're not here.

This is not an episode.

No.

Do you not sort of settle in in the way you might listen to a three-beam-silent episode?

No.

I know you like to get your knickknacks and your snacks.

This would do for a short dash.

If you're planning on an amble, a dog walk, or doing the big shop.

Release your nipple from the infant babe's mouth.

If you're breastfeeding.

Yeah, absolutely.

This is a short dash

to

post the postcard before the postie comes.

It's that level of dash.

Depending on how close you are to a post box, I'm quite a lot away from one.

Yeah, yeah.

We'll probably get within sprinting distance of the post box and then press play and then sprint.

I mean, we're almost at the point where it's safer to wait for the postman to come along and ask if you can slip it into his bag.

Have you done that?

Not sure.

I feel like I have.

You can't do that, can you?

Can I slip?

Do you mind if I just slip it straight into your bag?

It feels like the sort of thing you would try on, Henry.

I wouldn't dream of it.

There's a system for a reason.

It feels very transgressive for some reason.

It's hugely transaggressive.

I would rather just forget the whole thing, just get in the car and drive the postcard to Stockton.

To wherever it's going.

So the reason that we're not doing an episode, even though it's a Wednesday, is that it is a fifth Wednesday.

We do four episodes a month.

That's how this works.

We are lunar.

We are not Gregorian.

I don't know how many times we need to explain this to people.

It is a lunar podcast.

The only thing that's complicating is that we are operating, that we do still want to have 12 months and a year.

Yeah, so big picture we're Gregorian.

So our birthdays are becoming a bit, becoming increasingly hard to keep track of at the moment.

And

I think I'm due to get my state pension quite soon.

Certainly it is accelerating the aging process.

Mike, I sent you the home gyroscope kit to work it out.

It's not that hard.

All you have to do is

hold it under

whenever there's a fat moon, so a fat moon is three times random.

Oh, I see.

I'm sorry.

I used it to make a teriyaki sauce.

I'm really sorry.

You've been using it to make teriyaki sauce?

Yeah.

It does make very, very good teriyaki sauce as well.

Those are the two things you can get out of it.

But no, it basically, so the home gyroscope, it's a simple shadow system, isn't it?

So as the sun passes over the hemis, well, our hemisphere of the earth,

it casts different lengths of shadow doesn't it so if you just all you have to do is make sure you've got a pen and graph paper because trace that shadow over you can tell how old you are depending on the length of your shadow yeah exactly right well it depends how much the shadow looks like napoleon okay yes

so exactly like napoleon um you're dead yeah yeah it's over yeah okay um and then it's just yeah you just measure it in degrees okay but have you not noticed mike you know your astrolabe

has that been glowing recently it's in it's at quick fit oh no But I told you, don't buy an Astrolabe from Argos.

You get a bespoke one.

I know.

They're not cheap you'd buy twice.

I know, I know.

He told me this again and again.

And I've made so much more money getting it done up at QuickFit.

Anyway, what we're saying is, in your world, it's the 30th of October 2024,

which is a Wednesday.

But for us, this is not a work day.

Yeah.

Because on our lunar calendar, this is a harvest festival.

Yes.

We will be daubing ourselves in wheat and barley.

That's right.

Taking to the barn.

And we'll be, the three of us, we kind of interlock together, don't we?

We form the form of a human astrolabe.

Yeah.

Which can only be read sadly by Patrick Moore.

Rest in peace.

Through a henge of men.

Through a henge of men.

And those are the podcasters you may have heard of, Tim from the rest is history.

Richard Osman.

LSA John, of course.

They also get involved.

And Roy Hodgson.

He's not got a podcast, has he?

I'll tell you what, everyone's got a podcast these days.

Cuts deep when someone says that to me.

Cuts deep.

It's meant to.

It's meant to, isn't it?

Oh, it finds its mark.

All right.

It finds its mark.

Anyway, so that's why there's not an episode.

But cheers.

Thanks for looking anyway.

But there's nothing here.

Also, if you fancy Bit More Beans, you might consider getting on the Patreon bus.

We've got three handy segments.

All the cool kids are doing it.

Yeah.

Sorry, what's three handy segments?

It's a mistake.

It was an oral mistake.

I was going to say.

What have you done to the Patreon, Henry?

Turned it into a segment.

Why is it three segments?

And how have you done that?

No, it's got three tiers, haven't we?

And on two of those tiers, you could listen to extra beams.

Yeah.

To keep you going through the cold months.

Bonus stuff.

Bonus stuff.

Bonus material.

Anyway, a special quiz coming up soon, brand new content.

Oodles of it.

Anyway, have a nice Wednesday.

Whatever you're doing.

Yeah.

We'll see you soon.

Took it easy.