Crotch Too Loose

Speaker 1 It's morning in New York.

Speaker 1 Hey, everybody, I'm Mandy Potenkin. And I'm Catherine Grody.
And we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Listen to Us.
Many of you have asked for our advice. Tell me, what is wrong with you people?

Speaker 1 Don't listen to us. Our take it or leave it advice show is out every Wednesday, premiering October 15th.
A Lemonada Media Original.

Speaker 1 Freedom! Freedom!

Speaker 1 Turn it up. Turn it down.

Speaker 1 Jesus. It's not Freedom Rock.
Turn it down.

Speaker 1 Freedom!

Speaker 1 Turn it down.

Speaker 1 Freedom!

Speaker 1 Freedom!

Speaker 1 The song was very loud.

Speaker 1 Look, do you think anyone's ever named their cat Freedom and they go outside and go, Freedom!

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 I hope so. I hope so too.
That would be really nice. Nice.

Speaker 1 Okay. I hope not.
I'll put I'm in the middle.

Speaker 1 I hope that nothing ever happens. We've covered the whole spectrum.
I hope it does happen soon. I hope someone's names of baby freedom.

Speaker 1 And then they have to shout freedom three times every time they go.

Speaker 1 Whisper it. They have to whisper it.
Threedom, threedom, threedom. And then Candyman comes out.
Hey, here's what I just, yeah, he's like, was that for me?

Speaker 1 You were whispering. It does talk a little louder next time.
Somebody Mary shows up. Like, what's going on?

Speaker 1 What is it with all these

Speaker 1 beetle juice? Mrs. Delphire.
Mrs. Delphire.
Mrs. Delphire.
Mrs. Delfire.
Mrs. Delphire.

Speaker 1 Did somebody say pies on my tips? They cut that part out, and I think that's very important understanding the character. He didn't have a choice.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the thing because I think the whole time, the whole time, the whole time, you go, well, also three times. She's trying to say it back.
She did say it three times. Yes.

Speaker 1 But she's trying to send him back, but what she doesn't really understand is that he, it was out of his control. This was a thing created by God or so, or Satan himself.
Well, I think God.

Speaker 1 I mean, and that's for the user to decide. Because it made the family better.
Yeah. That's for the user to decide.

Speaker 1 I've only seen this movie once, so I don't have too many. That's not okay.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 And honestly, within the last six years. That's sick and wrong.
I've still never seen it. I forgot about that.
That's fucking nuts. So, but

Speaker 1 have enough by osmosis that I feel like I could piece it all together. So, what do you think happens? Like, tell us a story about it.
We've definitely done this before.

Speaker 1 We've definitely done this before.

Speaker 1 No, we have not. Yes,

Speaker 1 we've asked Paul

Speaker 1 to say what he thinks.

Speaker 1 What I remember. Okay.
All the things. I've said all the things that I know about Mrs.
Doubtfire.

Speaker 1 Here's what I think the synopsis is. Yeah, extrapolate upon.
Robin Williams is a fuck-up, essentially. It's not Robin Williams.
It's a man that's playing a character.

Speaker 1 Wait, who played Mrs. Doubtfire?

Speaker 1 I think it was Bradley Whitford.

Speaker 1 That's why he's such a huge comedy star. Yeah.
But just to clarify, Robin Williams does not play himself in the movie. I know.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, I better stop because I only like it when Adams play themselves.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a bad father and husband because he's, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I know the animation thing. He fucking doesn't know how to work.
He's a bad father and husband and he'll never ever be any good.

Speaker 1 He's a dope fire and he'll never ever be. He and Sally Phil are separated?

Speaker 1 No. Well, are they? I think they're divorced.
They're divorced. Okay.

Speaker 1 That's good.

Speaker 1 I'm glad the whole idea of the marriage wasn't hanging over the whole thing. It's final.
Precipice of will he do Mrs. Doubtfire correctly? He's unemployable because he's such a fucking idiot.

Speaker 1 He loves to improvise on the animated shows that have already

Speaker 1 been recorded. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he needs money, but also needs to spend time with his kids. He's not allowed to be near the kids for some reason.
Is he not allowed to be with the kids? Oh my gosh. He's not.

Speaker 1 And this is his loophole to get time with them. Or he, I think it turns really bad.
The The beginning is

Speaker 1 that a real legal loophole? Like, if you dress up as a woman, you can do whatever you want. No, no, no, it's based on the woman.
If they think you're someone else, yeah. Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So he, I'll go into a place where you're only supposed to buy one of something. I'll have 10 wigs.
Uh-huh. A place where you're only supposed to buy one of something.
Like an Adidas pop-up. Oh, sure.

Speaker 1 It's like you can't buy a bunch and then resell these. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So he's Mrs. Doubtfire.
He bonds with the kids in a way he never has before. Yeah, James bonds.
He was speaking of, of course, Pierce Brosner. Pierce there's there for

Speaker 1 boyfriend. Run by.
Run by.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he doesn't like him. He throws a fruiting at his head.
Throws a fruiting at his head. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, he's walking. Then he says, I'm walking here.
Yeah. Hey, I'm walking here.
Then kind of how he says it. Then kind of.
Mrs. Doubtfire takes kids on a date to a porn theater.

Speaker 1 The kids are like, why did you take me to this? Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 1 This is

Speaker 1 then Miss Southfire kills the president, right? Yes, you got it right. You don't even have to see it.
Yeah, right. Yeah, that's what I'm pretty much it.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much it. And the guns come out of his big fake tits.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He says, I'm a femme bot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I'm a femmbot. I'm a femmbot.
Teeth, teeth, tiny, tiny, tea, tea,

Speaker 1 I'm a femme bot. Do you know what? Femme of beans.
I'm going to shoot you with these guns of mine.

Speaker 1 These booby beans. Floppy beans.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I should have said floppy beans. I always thought it was was so gross and carry when she was like, she called them like your something pillows.

Speaker 1 Oh, your dirty pillows. Yeah, that was so disgusting.

Speaker 1 What a truly insane character. And I saw that too young, where I was like, dirty pillows.
That was Piper Lauria must have been having a fucking ball playing that weirdo. Oh, that'd be so fun.

Speaker 1 Your dirty pillows.

Speaker 1 That's like disgusting as hell. It's so horrible.

Speaker 1 How about what all the girls are making fun of her for having a period? It's like, you all have periods.

Speaker 1 What's going on?

Speaker 1 Have they mean, they all

Speaker 1 on her shorts or something.

Speaker 1 It was in the shower. Did she boot on her shorts? Bleed.
Oh. She go boo-boo on her shorts.
Oh, she go boo-boo. It was in the shower, and it was just, they were all having a good time.

Speaker 1 They were all yelling. Plug it up.
That's honestly, you get teased for that. Yeah.
Is there your period in the shower? Yeah, you in front of everyone? Yeah, you're going to get pigs blood put on you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's actually justified. No.

Speaker 1 Of course, I don't believe that. Someone out there is like, that's actually really terrible.
You know what? It's not funny to joke about that. Was that a fear, though, for in the ladies' gymnasium?

Speaker 1 Well, we didn't all shower nude together. See, all the guys, we had to at my place.
And it was always

Speaker 1 in showers. We had to shower.
I had showers? Right. Before swimming.
Like we had swimming in high school. But you would, I think it was like stalled.
We kept your swimsuit on.

Speaker 1 We each had our own jacuzzi. No, we were all supposed to be nude, and it was always a thing of like, okay, will you have your pubic hair? Will you not have your pubic hair? Will you today?

Speaker 1 It depends on the day, right? Yeah, exactly. That's how you feel.
That's honestly one of the

Speaker 1 grossest thing I before you make fun of me. I don't have my pubic hair today.
I forgot. I was in a rush.
Will people be judging the length? Stop. The width, the depth, area.

Speaker 1 There's something so disconnected

Speaker 1 about you talking about this. I'm just saying, this was like a big

Speaker 1 reason why people did not want to shower. Don't act like you fantasize about this.
About the men wondering if they have pubes. You fantasize about men wondering if they have pubes.

Speaker 1 Wondering. What?

Speaker 1 I can't look down. I thought Bubble

Speaker 1 What do I remember from last time I looked down?

Speaker 1 So I can't look down now. Do you know what's funny? It's like, I don't remember that experience.
I don't really either. Do you know what I mean? I was old enough to remember things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But it's weird that that's not. I think you kind of block that out.
I guess maybe it's gradual. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, also remembering really gross. That's probably like, it's happening.

Speaker 1 You would always want to try to figure out your schedule so PE was like the last thing of the day. We didn't have control over such things.

Speaker 1 You You could, I remember being able to go in and switch your schedule around a little bit, like going. I guess I never thought to complain

Speaker 1 about year by year, being able to sort of pick your schedule. But I remember I had PE first in the day.
One. You smell like a big B.O.
butt plug. Well, no, but then you'd have to shower.
A big B.O.

Speaker 1 butt plug.

Speaker 1 But that was, if you had it last,

Speaker 1 you could just go home. You could conceivably just go like, oh, I'm going to shower at home.
You smell like B.O.

Speaker 1 Detecting something else, a sort of base note.

Speaker 1 Also, by the way, I wouldn't put my finger on it. It's not like in PE in seventh grade, I was ever doing anything so strenuous that I had to shower, you know? But I think the natural

Speaker 1 high schooler is not great. Well, sure.
We had in grade school, we had a gym class that was just like the chlorified rhesus,

Speaker 1 rhesus pieces,

Speaker 1 it was chlorophyll pieces, um,

Speaker 1 where we would sometimes do

Speaker 1 calisthenics, maybe, or something, jumping jacks. Yeah, right.
And then in our high school, there was not a PE program. Really? Yeah, there's a sports program, not a PE program.

Speaker 1 I did racquetball and I did scuba diving. Racquetball?

Speaker 1 At the same time?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I created a new sport.
That's wild. I'd love to see it.
I must have been taking a lot of arm strength. Do you have any game videos?

Speaker 1 But those, I think I did racquetball first and then scuba diving. And then in 10th grade, you didn't have to take PE anymore.
But those were my two.

Speaker 1 You could choose what you were going to do every day. Racquetball before scuba diving, now you're thriving.
Scuba diving. Scuba diving before racquetball.

Speaker 1 This is more like a hacketball. There's your downfall.
There's your downfall.

Speaker 1 Scuba diving for a racketball.

Speaker 1 We did some scuba diving in our school pool.

Speaker 1 We definitely talked about this. Yeah, I know.
Yeah. It's still wild to me.
It's absurd.

Speaker 1 We had the tanks on and we were like going down downtown. Because it's not going downtown.
We're going down.

Speaker 1 But it's not about physical fitness at this point. It's just like a thing you can learn that survival.
That you and we had to pay extra for it, I remember. So you didn't.
Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You didn't have to take it. It was just part of the swimming course.
It was grotto. Meaning everyone had to take it? It was an elective where I was.

Speaker 1 No, we all had to take swimming, which because I know I had to because it was my nightmare. Wow.
I had to do it.

Speaker 1 And of course, as I famously told on the show, I jumped off the diving board on the first day without knowing how to swim and having never done that before. And it was fine.
And I passed.

Speaker 1 Good for you. Just, you know, I'm concerned about that too.
Of course. I don't think that kids, high school, you should never have to change your clothes for any reason.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Especially not around adults. There should be adults that are watching over you to a physical activity.
What is the point of PE anyway? Like, go ahead and sign up for sports. So Russia doesn't win.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I remember I had this watch. The glory of America.
I got this watch as my eighth-grade graduation gift for my parents. You know, probably was like an $80 watch.
Probably. It was silver.

Speaker 1 It had a blue face. It was cool.
Yeah, that sounds like a delicate. That sounds like $82.90.
You know, it does.

Speaker 1 Honestly, yeah. Like Macy's or something.

Speaker 1 And I liked it a lot. And I, in high school, I would wear it.
And then I put it, I hung it up in my gym locker, I remember for gym class. Uh-oh.
And then I

Speaker 1 didn't take it out of there for weeks. Every day I would see it hanging in there and I just closed it.
I don't know. I just didn't.
Wow. Because, you know, you're a kid.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I just was just doing that. And then one day it was gone.
And I honestly was just like, and I deserve, I deserve that. Do you know who did it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I just feel like someone just swiped it while I was doing this. It was somebody who's the jigsaw of watches.
Yeah. Yeah.
You don't appreciate this watch. Yeah.
I'm taking it from you.

Speaker 1 I think that's true. I think I didn't appreciate it enough because I just let it hang there for

Speaker 1 watches are pretty. No, I just went and I deserve that.
Honestly. And they never asked about the watch ever again of like, hey, wear that watch.
And you remember that expensive watch?

Speaker 1 That was like about 80. Your mother sold her hair.
No, but the other day I was, I had a random memory of bring it back it's a callback i know but

Speaker 1 i know i had a random memory about taking stuff to school and random you had a ram break random access memory stuff that was like my mom's or like something that delicate that i would bring to school and like a figurine or something and then it would break you know and i why do figurines always break i know and i took these

Speaker 1 stronger crown-shaped earrings from my mom's drawer and i took them to school oh fuck and i don't think they ever made it at home they had little jewels on them they and i don't think they were actually fancy, but they looked amazing to me.

Speaker 1 And I wanted to carry them around.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you just took them to school just to carry them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if I was showing them off or anything. Right.
And then I told my mom the other day

Speaker 1 about that. And she was like, I was just wondering where those were.
Just? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But they made them

Speaker 1 back. She deserved that as well.
The earrings made them back home, right? Made them back home? No, no. They were long gone.

Speaker 1 You the jewelry thief. And I said, well, that was a different school, but I probably just

Speaker 1 dropped them. I think I just dropped them.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 But my mom, I was like, you were just thinking about those. And I was like, I hope they weren't expensive.
And she was like, no. And then I was like, she's like, but you loved them.
So that's good.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a good way to look at it. I like that.
I know. Yeah.
What a sweet.

Speaker 1 What a sweet. Holly really likes to

Speaker 1 take things home from school and bring from school to school.

Speaker 1 Both ways. There's like a couple of people who have some things where it's so-and-so gave me this.
I've definitely used that one as a kid a lot. Yeah, sure.
So-and-so gave me this.

Speaker 1 Make sure that it gets back to its rightful owner. There's a clothesline at our school where people are supposed to hang up stuff that ends up with your kids and vice versa.

Speaker 1 Because it's happened with us, where like suddenly we look in her backpack and there's something that doesn't belong to us. We're like,

Speaker 1 bring it up. Yep.
That's a great solution because you just anonymously get to return. What are the things that she might bring home from school? Like,

Speaker 1 here's a few of the things:

Speaker 1 a Pokemon watch,

Speaker 1 a

Speaker 1 coin purse that was very tattered. Pokemon, go to the watch.
And these are from other kids. Yeah.
Like, I think she's swiping them.

Speaker 1 And then I have to be like, we don't bring things home. And she'll say, so-and-so gave it to me.
But I'm like, I don't believe this is a cool thing. Why would they give it to you? Why do kids lie?

Speaker 1 Like, where do they learn this? I guess adamantity. It's a natural tendency or like, you know, boundary testing or like learning thing.
I think it just is.

Speaker 1 It's a survival instinct. I told you about the clock that we've been using that turns green when she's allowed to.

Speaker 1 And so for a week,

Speaker 1 we were looking at her

Speaker 1 live on the camera, getting up

Speaker 1 before it was green and turning on her lights and turning off her sound machine. And we would come in and say, like, the minute we would walk in, she would say, it was green.

Speaker 1 And we'd say, no, no, honey, it was yellow. We saw you and it was yellow.
She would say, it was green and yellow at the same time. And we're like, okay, that's not possible.

Speaker 1 Honestly, it's good shit, though.

Speaker 1 But, like, yeah, the natural inclination just we're not coming in hot or angry or anything. We're just saying, like, hey, please just.
Adjust the surveillance state.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just watched you the whole time. Yeah, it's okay if the government spies on you if they're not angry.

Speaker 1 But the first instinct to lie and say, like, it was green and I didn't do anything wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know, it's really funny. It's just a shortcut.
It's like, how can I end this fucking exchange? There was green.

Speaker 1 What are you guys doing here? I stole a pack of mambas from c like from osco which was cb what are mambas

Speaker 1 it's a candy so mambas are okay so it's a tropical yes you have tropical candy they come in packs so it's basically like starbursts but they're smaller and they're rectangular and then they're in packs of like four so there's like there's like basically three different flavors

Speaker 1 and they're kind of hard and there's like three flavors for a pack

Speaker 1 and then you unwrap and there's like one pack two packs three packs and they're each a different flavor four cubes of the same flavor there's only one two pack

Speaker 1 What? And he's a hologram. And they're chewy.
And they're chewy. And I stole them from the store.
And they're clingy. And I remember doing it.

Speaker 1 And I remember hiding them in my basket of stuffed animals and eating them slowly. Smart.
Yeah. Smart.
And it was great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you ever steal anything and your parents see it and they say, where did that come from? And then you have to like figure out a couple of things.

Speaker 1 I think it happened with that because I remember saying that this kid from my preschool who I ran into gave it to me. I think I got away with all my stealing.
Really?

Speaker 1 I remember being like as an adult realizing, oh, my mom knew I was taking that money out of her purse. Oh, right.
How does

Speaker 1 you don't have like fucking,

Speaker 1 I know I've talked about this before, but money just disappears from your wallet. And like, what happened to that money? Yeah.
Huh. Oh, who are the suspects? My husband.

Speaker 1 I thought I had a $10 bill in there. I guess I was wrong.
What would you do with that? I don't know. I might have that kind of thought.

Speaker 1 I might not realize my money was stolen immediately. I might go, oh, I thought I had a five.
Did I spend it?

Speaker 1 I probably wouldn't wouldn't pay attention to it. But I do.
There was like a penny jar I remember that my parents had. And I remember.
That was all they could afford.

Speaker 1 It cost one penny.

Speaker 1 It held one penny.

Speaker 1 No, there was a big penny jar, and I remember scooping pennies out of it to try to get like even $1 worth of gas occasionally. Gas.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Pennies? Back when a gallon was like $1.

Speaker 1 Wow. And yeah, just like scooping out pennies and then being caught at one point saying, like, hey, you caught? Have you been taking pennies out of the why can't you take pennies out of the penny jar?

Speaker 1 My aunt had a penny jar. Are they supposed to just remain there for decorations? I don't know.
It was their penny jar in their closet. Was it for the fucking church? Probably.

Speaker 1 My aunt had a big coin bucket. It was like a, it was like a big plastic barrel-shaped thing that would be like, would have come with like a million pretzels in it or something at one point.

Speaker 1 And it was full of good coins. Like a Charles.
Good coins. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good coins.

Speaker 1 We're talking silvers. Yeah.
These are good coins. And we would get to put, grab a fistful as like a treat.
That's exciting. And then once our hands got too big, we couldn't do it anymore.

Speaker 1 Did you have like a hand chart? Like, it's pretty much like, okay, you're getting too much now.

Speaker 1 She's right. That's incredible.
That's fun. It was really fun.
That's really good. That's really good.
I'm pretty sure my mom for my birthday recently sent me a $20 bill.

Speaker 1 And I was like, okay, we've crossed the Rubicon into now you're an old person.

Speaker 1 A $20 bill? That's crazy. I have a mortgage.

Speaker 1 I know. Although I put it towards it.
I mean, I'll take that $20.

Speaker 1 I'll take that $20. Well, what are we laughing at? I would love somebody to send me $20.
If I got a column $20, I'll spin that one. It's so fun.
If I got a, oh my god,

Speaker 1 it's a little bit of a time.

Speaker 1 Now, again, it's Christmas time over here. It's Christmas time.
We have to talk about this. Yeah.
So every year, it's not Christmas. I mean, it's technically Thanksgiving today.
But it's coming.

Speaker 1 For the listener. For the listener.
It's coming. It is coming.
This is. The goose is getting.
This is maybe the part that I always wonder about within.

Speaker 1 So when we do Comedy Bang Bang Holiday Special, you give everybody a bag of sweet treats, which I think Kulop must put together, right?

Speaker 1 You put them together? No.

Speaker 1 And you're wrong on both of them.

Speaker 1 Neither of us put them together. Your assist puts them together.
The baker puts them together. The baker puts them.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 these that are in here, I always wonder about these. Because I will say

Speaker 1 busy schedule in hell. He's still,

Speaker 1 didn't he die?

Speaker 1 He was the Tammy Faye guy. Yeah.
Jim Baker. Oh, no, he didn't die recently.
I think it's like

Speaker 1 she's been single for a long time. 80% great stuff in there.
Single. 80% great stuff.
80% great stuff. Here's where I draw the line.
Yeah. These little bottles,

Speaker 1 little bottle-shaped chocolates with an alcohol flavor inside them. It's not even alcohol.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I just can't imagine who the fuck wants this. They're truly repulsive.
It's like

Speaker 1 I'm going to bite this. So Scott.
85. Yeah.
Is the idea that I bite the top off and then drink it and then eat the chocolate?

Speaker 1 Or am I supposed to bite it and let it gush in my mouth like a fucking gross ass alcohol? Let it gush in your mouth like a gross ass alcoholic usher. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like I got a goo in there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like it's got the

Speaker 1 whatever flavor alcohol it is in there. Southern Comfort, Galeano, the famous

Speaker 1 grouse.

Speaker 1 I actually don't think it's alcoholic. I think it's

Speaker 1 just the flavor.

Speaker 1 What's Matt? Matt Tusalem? Oh my God. Matt Tusalem.

Speaker 1 Matusalem? Matt Tusalem?

Speaker 1 You're like regarding Henry trying to learn how to read. Mastery Matt Tusalem.
I don't know what that is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think you bite the top off and then you drink the flavor down. Do one, Paul.
Do it, do it, do it, do it. I'll do a famous grouse.
What the hell's that? I think it's like Scotch.

Speaker 1 Jim Baker's still alive. Tammy Faye Baker

Speaker 1 is,

Speaker 1 I believe she's no longer with us. Is that right? No, she's yeah.
No, she's no longer with us. She died in 2007.
Good. Also, she hasn't seen all the bio pics.

Speaker 1 She never got to see the biopic about herself. It made her seem like she was a great person.
Yeah. I didn't see it.
I just liked the makeup. All right, let's see.
Okay, didn't get to the liquid yet.

Speaker 1 Bit off the top. How are you? Bit off the knock of the bottom.
Bit off the neck, but unfortunately,

Speaker 1 you haven't gotten to the hollow part yet. Chocolate's not good.

Speaker 1 Oh, I got duped online. I'll tell you about it.
Oh!

Speaker 1 It's pretty liquidy. Yeah, that was not cool.
Well, liquid is liquid. It tastes boozy.
Okay. So someone might like that.
But it's disgusting. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got this wine. I'm so sorry.
I said 90% good. I got this wine one time from Trader Joe's

Speaker 1 that was billed as a chocolate lover's wine. Yeah.
And I thought that was a check. Oh, it would pair with chocolate.
It would pair with chocolate. No, it's chocolate-flavored red wine.
It was gross.

Speaker 1 It was one of the most disgusting things.

Speaker 1 I tasted the grossest wine the other night. Where?

Speaker 1 At a restaurant I love. Write down the Threedom Gang talks about gross wines.

Speaker 1 You got it. Lauren does the descriptions.

Speaker 1 We're always trying to remember what we talked about. But it's very difficult to do it while we're going.

Speaker 1 it. What are the gross wines that you

Speaker 1 do? So, it was a restaurant I love that I won't say because I don't want to, you know, blow up my spot. Because they're otherwise a great restaurant.
Yes, and I don't know.

Speaker 1 And also, you don't want a bunch of people coming there looking for you. No, let me eat in peace.
Like standing over once for lunch. Shovel food in your fat face.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 these. Does Gigi and Holly ever pretend to be like paparazzi photographers and photography? I make them do that when you leave the house.
Yeah, I make them do it. Because I just want them to be.

Speaker 1 Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lorin, Lorin, Lorin.

Speaker 1 overheel.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 this anyways, the uh, the wine. They, so I was going to go in, I was gonna have steak, and

Speaker 1 why do you hate spill the wine?

Speaker 1 What's that? Spill the wine, kiss that girl.

Speaker 1 Saying spill the wine, I've never known that.

Speaker 1 What did you think they might hug? Masaquella's grazing in the grass. I'd have to hear it, you know, but spill the wine, spill the wine, get it.

Speaker 1 that's probably what I thought. It does some dumb little story over the music.
I don't like the music. Everything about that song, I really like it.
It sounds too much like Oye Komo Vad, right?

Speaker 1 I'd rather hear Oyo Komova for the rest of my life than here,

Speaker 1 Graze Under the Grass Evil one more time. Wow, that's a crazy song.
Hey, Lauren. Do you want to tell us about this wine after the break? Okay.
Oh my God, Funtees. This is going to be great.

Speaker 1 We're going to hear about it. And I'll tell you about when I got duped.
Oh, yes. We got to hear about these.
Okay, we'll be right back.

Speaker 1 Here's a little peek behind the curtain. Yeah.
We had been thinking for a while about starting a podcast before we actually did. About probably five minutes before we started it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We thought about it. Every time we thought about it in that five minutes, it just seemed so daunting.
Yeah. Finally, one day we decided to look up the word daunting, stop putting it off.

Speaker 1 It didn't mean what we thought it was, what it meant, by the way. I thought it was related to haunting because of the aunt.
Because we were like,

Speaker 1 are there ghosts in podcasts? And we didn't know what it was. Anyway, we found it.
It kind of looked like you wouldn't be hesitant. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you thought there was a ghost in a podcast, you wouldn't do one either. So we shook that off and we decided to turn our dreams into reality.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And give them the odds, Scott. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Well,

Speaker 1 I thought you said given the odds. No, I thought you were continuing, but you want me to give them a double daddy? Maybe give them those odds.
All right.

Speaker 1 Well, odds are many of you have felt that same way about starting your own business, right?

Speaker 1 You've tossed, you've turned, you've had sleepless nights, you've just been thinking about all of these possibilities.

Speaker 1 You keep asking yourself, what if?

Speaker 1 What if it doesn't work out? What if someone else beats me to it? Well, take it from me. It's time to stop thinking about what if and start doing.

Speaker 1 And one of the easiest ways to do that is to use Shopify.

Speaker 1 Shopify's point-of-sale system works like a unified command center for your retailers. By your command.
Thank you, Cylon.

Speaker 1 Bringing your online and in-store operations together across as many as 1,000 1,000 locations. It makes shopping easier for everyone.

Speaker 1 Customers get to shop however they want, and your staff have the tools to close that sale every single time. All right.
Look, we all know acquiring new customers is expensive. Level with them, Paul.

Speaker 1 But Shopify POS

Speaker 1 helps keep people coming back with personalized experiences and first party, we all like parties, data

Speaker 1 your marketing team can actually use. Turn those what-ifs into why-nots and keep giving those big dreams the best shot with spot, uh, Shopify, I mean, not Spotify.

Speaker 1 Don't use Spotify. Spotify is not going to help your business,

Speaker 1 they're going to hurt, as a matter of fact.

Speaker 1 Shopify, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash Threedom. Shopify.com slash Threedom.
Shopify.com/slash Threedom.

Speaker 1 Oh, boy, these days, cold mornings, holiday plans, so much going on, right? Well, this is when I want my wardrobe to be simple.

Speaker 1 Stuff that looks sharp, feels good, and things that I will actually wear, not just put in my closet and be aspirational about, oh, that would be nice if I ever actually wore it. No.

Speaker 1 For me, that stuff comes from Quince. And the bonus, Quince pieces make great gifts, too.
This season's lineup is simple, but smart and easy with Quince. $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters.

Speaker 1 They feel like an everyday luxury and wool coats that are equal parts stylish and durable. They're done.
They're they're done. They're done.

Speaker 1 Am I right, folks? They're done.

Speaker 1 What I also want to say, other than they're done, is their denim nails the fit and everyday comfort, all at a fraction of what you would expect to pay.

Speaker 1 By partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middlemen. I hate middlemen.
God cut them out. To deliver premium quality at half the cost of other high-end brands.

Speaker 1 So you can give luxury quality pieces without the luxury price tag. You know what I got from Quince? You know I love a blazer.
Quince's Cotton Peak Knit Blazer is what I got.

Speaker 1 It combines the coziness of a cardigan with the structure of a blazer. It's the kind of best of both worlds thing that I love.

Speaker 1 It can look great at any holiday function, especially in this great olive shade that they offer, which feels seasonal and sophisticated.

Speaker 1 Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince. Go to quince.com slash threedom for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
Now available in Canada, too.

Speaker 1 That is q-u-in-ce.com slash threedom. Free shipping and 365-day returns.
Quince.com slash threedom. Listen, telephones, right?

Speaker 1 If you shorten it, it's just phones. We need them, right? We need to get in touch with the people we love, to Google what to do about the weird rash that's on our arms, right?

Speaker 1 Is that relatable to anyone else? To watch endless streams of TikToks as we try to fall asleep. But do we need expensive phone bills? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 At Mint Mobile, their favorite word is no. No contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, no BS.
That's

Speaker 1 BS stands for something. Don't look it up, kids.
And the best part? Oh, oh, BS. BS is in best.
The best part, Mint Mobile plans start at $15 a month at Mint.

Speaker 1 All their plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. And you can keep your phone that you love so much.

Speaker 1 You can keep your phone number that you know by heart.

Speaker 1 And keep all of your existing contacts. It'd be weird if you had to throw away all of your contacts.

Speaker 1 Anyway, Mint Mobile, our good friend Matt Opodaka has it. He swears by it.
He loves it.

Speaker 1 It's easy to switch over from your old phone plans and you save tons each month. Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch at mintmobile.com/slash threedom.
That's mintmobile.com/slash threedom.

Speaker 1 Upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month. Limited time, new customer offer for first three months only.
Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 1 See Mint Mobile for details.

Speaker 1 Paul, I'm sorry. I coughed, but it's non-bacterial.
But I went to a doctor and they stuck a camera down my nose into my throat the other day.

Speaker 1 Down your nose. Yep.
And it was.

Speaker 1 I would think up your nose. Down your nose.
Then over the rubber hose. Then down.
Probably that was the path. I was not looking.
And then he tried to show me the picture of it.

Speaker 1 He tried to show me the footage. That's interesting to me.
And I kept looking away because I was just like, I don't want to see that. But he's like, oh, no, no, no, look, look, look.

Speaker 1 Just showing you that. What's going on? While it was happening? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Afterwards. What's wrong in your throat? It's making me sick to even look at it.
I don't know. I've been coughing for a while.

Speaker 1 After I had my colonoscopy, they sent me home with like a beautiful collection of photos of your butthole. Did you blow them up? Thank you.

Speaker 1 You should have made one really, really big and just call it a black hole and put it on your wall.

Speaker 1 What size do you think they're taking pictures

Speaker 1 your actual asshole

Speaker 1 just like the outside where they shaved it gross

Speaker 1 so anyway the wine yes spill the wine people tail stop

Speaker 1 no it's not interesting at all um but that's the show that we produce um i was and i have a steak and i asked which wine is best with the steak my friend was also having a steak

Speaker 1 and so uh the kind server said that this one wine was the best for

Speaker 1 something bold, like a Chianti with bold flavors.

Speaker 1 And then there was another option that my friend was curious about. And she said, well, can I still just try this one?

Speaker 1 And she brought, and she goes, well, it's kind of, you know, she's like, it's a little bit intense. Like, people don't always like it, but I wouldn't pair it with the steak.

Speaker 1 But she was like, you could try it. So she brings it over.
And it was as if I had the first shot of alcohol I've ever had in my life. My whole head was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 1 It was like, it was so gross. And they only only have like three reds on the menu.
And it was like, that's one of the options. She's like, it's very polarizing.
People either love it or hate it.

Speaker 1 I don't know why you want to have something by the glass that's polarizing. It was crazy.
Yeah, that's. I'm glad she warned you.
It was almost fizzy. It was like,

Speaker 1 I don't like that. Yeah.
Yeah. I know that.
Do you not like any carbonated wines? No, not really. I like some.
I really don't. Yeah.
I don't really either. And I don't really like orange wine.

Speaker 1 And I feel like everyone got really into that like last year or a couple of years ago. And it was very.
Everybody likes an orange wine. It was very trendy

Speaker 1 feeling.

Speaker 1 i just feel like spill the wine kiss that girl yeah do you remember rose all day yeah that was too much

Speaker 1 i mean all day every day

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 easy whoa they never said every day oh i was doing it wrong unless you have a home decor that says it but they also say they don't say when to stop they don't they say all day well i think there's an asterisk and at the bottom it's like until bedtime it's like feeding the gremlins when does it stop being after midnight right that's a great question so if you stay up all day and all night.

Speaker 1 I guess maybe when the sun goes down, because it's all day. When the sun goes down, maybe they drink it all day.
And you like

Speaker 1 drug at night. I hate that.
Are you kidding me? Keep going.

Speaker 1 Keep going. Make it about gremlins.
When the sun goes down and the gremlins get up.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Oh, I can't believe that.
You could add a second one.

Speaker 1 All right. Do you want to hear how I got started? Before it gets night, that's when they can sup.

Speaker 1 Nice. Before it gets night.

Speaker 1 Sup is such a word that's used simply to make a rhyme happen. It probably is.
No one's ever sing.

Speaker 1 That's a greeting. That is sup.
Sup. Sup.
That's true.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I got swindled by the internet.

Speaker 1 Oh, because the internet? Yeah. Flint flammed.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 So it was pretty crazy because it's something that I really would have warned anyone else not to do.

Speaker 1 It's one of those things where you're like, that's fucking fake or whatever. So last year, I really wanted to get this Advent calendar for Holly.

Speaker 1 That was the theme of squishmallows, which are these little squishy stuff dancers, but they're a miniature version. Yes.

Speaker 1 And at the time, it was all sold out. And I remember I, and this is what's also crazy is because I remember I was looking up,

Speaker 1 looking for one on different websites and then found like these were not what they said.

Speaker 1 So I didn't order it last year. And then this year, I got an Instagram ad that looked like it was from the company.

Speaker 1 And it was like they were on sale. And I went, oh, I'm just going to get them right now because I know they're.

Speaker 1 So it was an Instagram like poster at a story that ad that popped up and then I clicked it. I never even do that anyway.
And then I was like, oh, but I need those and they're on sale. Oh, perfect.

Speaker 1 And it was like, all looked like very legit.

Speaker 1 The website looked like the real website, what I would assume the real website looks like. I ordered two because I was like, oh, it's a good deal.
I'll get one for each kid.

Speaker 1 Then they're taking forever to come. And I keep checking when they're coming.
And then I'm seeing, it just says like China, like generally.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, this is, this is probably not going to be what I want.

Speaker 1 Maybe they're never going to come. They finally did come.
And I said to Mike, like, there should be a package. Like, I'm looking.
And it's like, it's a big thing. It's big.
Each one will be very big.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, yeah, that came. And then I see the package inside.

Speaker 1 It's like a quarter of the size that it should be. Oh, so it's another one where you got duped and it's smaller.
And it's so small.

Speaker 1 And then I opened one up just to see what the fuck is in it because it was hard. They were shape.
It's supposed to be squishy stuffed animals. And it was making all these rattling noises.

Speaker 1 And I opened up in this, like, it's like little plaster, plastic figurines approximating what one of those might look like. My question is.
It was like fucking bullshit.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I can't give this to my kids. First of all, it's choking hazard.
They're like all tiny little pebbles. They're trash.
I was so offended.

Speaker 1 So, my question is: why do they bother to send you anything at all? Exactly. Right, right.

Speaker 1 Why are you making it? And then they made the box. Like, it doesn't, it's like a generic box.

Speaker 1 And then also, I realized halfway I was being scammed because I went to look at the email that it was from and it was a Gmail. It was micromallows at gmail.

Speaker 1 Micromallows doesn't fuck with Gmail. Yeah.
Is it? They got got their own domain.

Speaker 1 Is it if they send you something that they can't be sued because they're like, look, we sent the thing that they ordered? That's probably what it is. But

Speaker 1 it's such a hassle to make the products. Court? Yeah.
I will.

Speaker 1 How much did you spend on these?

Speaker 1 Probably 40 bucks.

Speaker 1 But each calendar is typically $65. So I went, oh, I'll get two for $40.
This is a good thing. You get a deal.
Of course. And now I just threw $40 into my asshole.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The greatest one I ever saw, and I'm sure you've seen this. I forget who it happened to.

Speaker 1 Somebody ordered a welcome mat. Oh, that was the best one.
Yes. It was Emily.
Emily Heller, right? Emily Helly. It was sent a...
Emily in Paris. Sent a printout

Speaker 1 of a picture, the same picture from the website that we ordered from. Of a welcome mat.
Of a welcome heurfur. It was just literally a printed AstroTurf.
Like in an envelope.

Speaker 1 It was supposed to be an AstroTurf. This is what you ordered.
Welcome Matt. And it was just a picture of Astro.

Speaker 1 This looks exactly like what's on our website. It was crazy.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. Then, of course, my huge squishy seal that I ordered in the pandemic and it arrived and it was like a hard carnival piece of colour.
Oh, that's right. That's right.
That was so sad.

Speaker 1 It was funny, though. I haven't been scammed in a while.
The last scam I had was

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 I was trying to track down this baseball hat, Philly's hat, and order from the site. A design or one that a specific design that was worn by someone? No, no, no.
It was not. It was not

Speaker 1 that bad. It was a specific design that was out of print or whatever.
And

Speaker 1 like, it took so long. I was like, did I get scammed by these people? And I looked it up.
It's always like, once it's taking too long, you start to question. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so I looked it up and they were like, this place is probably a scam.

Speaker 1 Then

Speaker 1 the website sent me a follow-up email like, your stuff is, it's not been shipped out yet. This is like years ago.
It's like, why did you bother sending this follow-up email?

Speaker 1 Just to buy even more time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Scamming, I think scamming is one of the most insane.
We're in a real bad time of scams now. Yes.
But like,

Speaker 1 the idea of scamming as your whole business.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All of it, like the phone call, scamming, all of it. It's just like, that's just a crazy option for ways to make money.
It's wild. But it works so well.
That's why. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't as good.
They got me and I'm really smart. But do you, do you, I, this is, I've, I've heard something about the young, the young generation of people.

Speaker 1 Um, there's actually hope for the future. Sometimes you go like, oh my god, it's just going to get crazier and crazier.
But the young generation of people are

Speaker 1 so inured with these types of scams and AI that they are, they are going to reject the internet entirely and just be like, I hope so. And just be like, it's all, it's all like

Speaker 1 shit. It's all

Speaker 1 so messy that it's just going to be trash. I mean, it basically is.
We're already at this point now with people sending videos and then someone's like, that's AI.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm really hating right now is chat GPT

Speaker 1 caption or not captions.

Speaker 1 Or yeah, it's like the caption on a photo where it's like, it'll be like, I saw this one that was like a video of Ethan Hawk talking about.

Speaker 1 like art or something. And I didn't even, I know,

Speaker 1 I didn't even listen to what he said. I was just reading the caption first.

Speaker 1 And I got so annoyed because it's so obviously fake where it's like this really flowery writing, but it's all very generic still and very like, they all sound the same.

Speaker 1 Like, Ethan Hawk spoke about his love of art. One of the most viral clips that was ever to be made.

Speaker 1 This clip resonated with people because it showed that you can be someone who appreciates art and everything there is in the world. Was it actually Ethan Hawk, or was it an AI Ethan Hawk as well?

Speaker 1 I think that it was really him, but the, but it was just like this

Speaker 1 overly dramatic caption that was like four paragraphs where you're like, just be like Ethan Hawk on whatever the topic. That's all you need.
It about art it's all you need

Speaker 1 you are all smart enough to write that like stop using chat tv to write this

Speaker 1 it's i it's so mind-numbing to read it that it makes me feel like sick it's so everything is awful now it feels so fucking bad

Speaker 1 shut it down shut it down

Speaker 1 yeah i mean it's bad google searches amazon searches like everything is terrible these days well amazon searches are still great oh that's right oh the stuff they make is what's so great yeah i had another one where it's like

Speaker 1 I wanted to send something back, and they were like, no, we'll refund. You just keep it.
Oh, I got some crazy ones. Like, how dare you? Here's a crazy.
I guess I got scammed again. I got

Speaker 1 Mike was scamming. I like to think that

Speaker 1 you get scammed every day.

Speaker 1 At least, I just don't know.

Speaker 1 These are the ones I've caught. Every day.
Mike, this was on Mike, but we needed new ink for our new printer. And so he, like, we have already

Speaker 1 stopped the ink already. And so he got, he goes, finally, he just orders it on Amazon and it gets there.
And then I go to put it in, and the printer itself says this is counterfeit or used ink.

Speaker 1 Like it knew.

Speaker 1 What? And then when I compared the box, it was so obviously a ripoff. I didn't notice initially, but it was so fake.

Speaker 1 And then I opened up the instructions within the box and it said, your printer might say this is counterfeit or used. Press OK.
Press this, press that. And I'm like, no, what?

Speaker 1 Why are you making something amazing? That is going to have to be true. Yeah.

Speaker 1 returned? And also, it was more expensive than ink typically costs. We thought he'd buy it

Speaker 1 on Amazon. But yeah, no, but I'm saying like he thought it was $100 for the ink because ink's so stupid.
Then I went on the fucking actual HP website and it was half that for two cartridges.

Speaker 1 Like it was just.

Speaker 1 I love the idea of an ink cartridge being counterfeit. I know.
And the printer knowing.

Speaker 1 I was like, how do you know this? Look, your printer's probably going to say this.

Speaker 1 They must listen. Just press OK.

Speaker 1 It'll work.

Speaker 1 Proprietary

Speaker 1 thing. Nodules.

Speaker 1 Nodules, probably. But in the actual printer, that the company who's making, and it might have actually worked.
Yeah. But they don't have whatever proprietary thing that fits in.

Speaker 1 They don't have a tape. One thing or something like that because the printer company wants you to buy only their ink.
Right. And that's fine.
I'm fine with buying the one that they want me to buy.

Speaker 1 Sure, because it's half

Speaker 1 half the price. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I want to pick that one.

Speaker 1 It's made for it and it's cheaper.

Speaker 1 Dude. Yeah, I think I'm going with that one.
Yeah, I think I'm going to go with the HP.

Speaker 1 So everyone should just stop buying stuff, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's good to buy? Food?

Speaker 1 I think one of the ideas scary with shopping online where you'll just be like, well, I wouldn't have been able to spend $300 right now if I had to go to the store to do that. Yes.

Speaker 1 And yet I just did that. Yes.
Laying here past the ball. Yeah.
Cause I can go to 80 stores in five minutes. Yeah.
Yeah. It sucks.

Speaker 1 I love all the stuff I get. I love all the stuff you get.
I love the scams, slams, even the scams. Yeah.
I love it all. God bless the scams.
God bless the scams. They keep entertaining.

Speaker 1 Father God, please bless our scams. Then I saw this Instagram thing that was like,

Speaker 1 all your returns go here. And it's like this warehouse full of trash that everyone's returned from all different stores.

Speaker 1 It doesn't go back to the store.

Speaker 1 I find that very confusing. Do you know what I hate is when they say all your base are belong to us? I hate when they say that.
Yeah. Yeah.
It stresses me out.

Speaker 1 I had one like you, though, Paul, yesterday where they said, like, by the way, if this comes, keep it. Or like, you know, like, I said, hey, I don't want this.

Speaker 1 If it comes, just keep it. No, it's trash.
We sold you trash. But you'll have that experience.
Give out your money back and keep it trash.

Speaker 1 My friend recently had an experience where they fought her like for so long about something like make it work, make it work.

Speaker 1 Like there was like a table that was like shitty, and it was like Amazon being like, No, please keep trying to put it together better.

Speaker 1 We'll send you another one you could put together. Too many people

Speaker 1 want it. And there was like a month of communication.
I tried to return a pair of pants because they didn't fit crotchwise.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Too loose. And, you know, they make you select reasons why.
Yeah. Crotch too loose.
Crotch too loose.

Speaker 1 How often would you return pants if it said that? Crotch too

Speaker 1 It's the only place where it doesn't fit. I'm

Speaker 1 trying to

Speaker 1 be swimming in the crotch. For the title.
Cross juice.

Speaker 1 And so, you know, it's like,

Speaker 1 it didn't fit. Okay.

Speaker 1 How did it not fit? It was too crushed. Is they're asking you that much? Usually Amazon is just like, and then you don't have to even say a reason.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 But this, now it's like, you have to say, why didn't it fit? Specific reason.

Speaker 1 Why are you returning it? Specific reason under that reason. And then

Speaker 1 anything else to tell us about this? Yeah. I guess I know.
I say I hated the material. Probably bad.
Submit it for the return.

Speaker 1 And then they're like, we'll send you a mailing label so you can send it back.

Speaker 1 A couple weeks go by.

Speaker 1 And I get an email directly from this, you know, it's like one of those comes from Amazon. Directly, the seller has a question for you.
It's like,

Speaker 1 what? Tell us why you're returning these.

Speaker 1 How many reasons could there be?

Speaker 1 I don't want it.

Speaker 1 Period. Crotch.

Speaker 1 Crotch to lose. Spit about whose crotch loses.
I do not understand.

Speaker 1 Spit it through your thick skull. Crotch, to lose.

Speaker 1 Psychotic. Psychotic.
Psychotic. But that said, Hack claims aid is not psychotic.
And it's one of the only businesses out there that's actually real.

Speaker 1 Well, and you won't, you're not going to be able to return anything because you're not. Especially

Speaker 1 the holiday season. Honestly, your one-stop shop is HagClaims8.com.
Get everything for your friends and family at HagClaims8.com. Well, you want the phone.
You want the leave us a voicemail.

Speaker 1 You want the novelty dictionary where you can put somebody's picture in there

Speaker 1 under the word asshole. Stupid or asshole.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It costs more if you want it to be something nice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're not really interested in that.
But if you, if you demand.

Speaker 1 If you want want to say, like, your picture should be under generous in the dictionary, well, then you're going to have to pay out the notes for that.

Speaker 1 But if you want it under a word like asshole and then you keep putting in like more vulgar, more vulgar, more vulgar. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you get upsold.

Speaker 1 You could just keep pressing more vulgar. More vulgar.
There's a more vulgar button. It's $15 every time you press it.
I'm warning you now because you're going to start clicking. But it's worth it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like $15 worth of more asshole.
It should be enough. But if it's not.
Well, because it becomes a multi-hyphenate situation.

Speaker 1 It's like there's not, there's not a word that much more vulgar than that. Well, you'd be so sure.
Unless you string words together. You'd be so worried.
Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the thing about curse words. They're not making any new ones normally.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, I've thought we, I think we can't come up with somehow.

Speaker 1 I really hate, it's like in TV writing

Speaker 1 where somebody combines. curse words or whatever they try to make into like some some tough character or what

Speaker 1 like hey you fuck knuckle or whatever Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I thought if somebody said that to me, I would laugh in the fucking face. Wait, I want more of that.
I thought on Reservation Dogs, shit ass was. I had never heard that.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's one that's more common. Shit ass, I think, is an old.
It's actually

Speaker 1 the first time it heard it, it fell onto my ears. I was like, oh, are they just trying to combine two curse words into a new thing? But it, I became, and then they use it in the low down as well.

Speaker 1 So I got to watch that. Yeah.
Pecker lips. Oh,

Speaker 1 are those lips that look like peckers? Don't ask us peckers. Don't ask.
You know what I'm loving? Yeah.

Speaker 1 McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Oh, interesting.

Speaker 1 Pleuribus. Yeah.
Pleuribus is great. Really good.
I now see, of course, I've never been a bitch. I'm an episode behind.
I gotta go. I've been breaking bad.
Me too.

Speaker 1 I've never watched Breaking Bad and I've never watched Better Call Songs. Very different show.

Speaker 1 I know. I haven't seen that.
I'm not available for the whole show now. Yeah.
In one episode. I can't.

Speaker 1 But I really like this show. Yeah.
And Rhea Seahorn's really great. It's a really great role.
Oh, I'm sorry. Ray Seahorn.
I didn't know. Yeah.
And it's a great role. Yes.

Speaker 1 She's really a terrific actor. She is.
Yeah. I'm very impressed and it's very fun to watch it unfold.
I got to do a pandemic play with her. I got to do a pandemic.

Speaker 1 That was awesome when we got to her. Mine was like 2020 through 2022.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Some people.
That's kind of when I did the play. Oh, cool.
It was that we did like a reading of this two-hander that was written by Bill Corbett.

Speaker 1 And it was very fun. Cool.
Yeah. It was a really neat experience.
And it was called Pluribus.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. And then it was this.
And then that person.

Speaker 1 And then they said, what if not him? Yeah. Yeah.
All right. What if no man? Speaking of it was done again with somebody else that I found it hard not to take that personally.

Speaker 1 Another live rating?

Speaker 1 Yes. Or uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah. And I was like, did I suck that pad?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I bet you suck just enough.
Thank you. That's all I needed to hear.

Speaker 1 Let's take a break.

Speaker 2 Well, hi, everybody. It's Julia Louis Dreyfus from the Wiser Than Me podcast.
And I'm not going to talk about food waste this time.

Speaker 2 I'm going to talk about food resources.

Speaker 2 All that uneaten food rotting in the landfill, it could be enriching our soil or feeding our chickens because it's still food.

Speaker 2 And the easiest and frankly way coolest way to put all its nutrients to work is with the Mill Food Recycler. It looks like an art house garbage can.

Speaker 2 You can just toss your scraps in it like a garbage can, but it is definitely not a garbage can. I mean, it's true, I'm pretty obsessed with this thing.

Speaker 2 I even invested in this thing, but I'm not alone.

Speaker 2 Any mill owner just might corner you at a party and rhapsodize about how it's completely odorless and it's fully automated and how you can keep filling it for weeks.

Speaker 2 But the clincher is that you can depend on it for years. Mill is a serious machine.
Think about a dishwasher, not a toaster.

Speaker 2 It's built by hand in North America and it's engineered by the guy who did your iPhone. But you have to kind of live with Mill to understand all the love.
That's why they offer a risk-free trial.

Speaker 2 Go to mill.com slash wiser for an exclusive offer.

Speaker 3 A BetterHelp ad.

Speaker 3 Life can get a little tough and even hectic during the holidays.

Speaker 3 This November, BetterHelp is encouraging everyone to reach out, to check in on your people, grab lunch with a friend you haven't seen in a while, or make that call to grandma.

Speaker 3 Reaching out to anyone can feel difficult, especially when we get used to relying on ourselves. And the same goes with reaching out to a therapist.

Speaker 3 But BetterHelp makes it easy with its therapist match commitment and over 12 years of experience in online therapy.

Speaker 3 In fact, BetterHelp meets over 90% of client preferences when matching its members with licensed professionals.

Speaker 3 And like that lunch with an old friend, when you finally do reach out and connect with someone, you often ask yourself, why didn't I do this sooner?

Speaker 3 Start now at betterhelp.com for 10% off your first month.

Speaker 1 We're back. And hey, we were talking about HagClaims8 earlier.
Oh, right. Yes.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 this is ringing a bell. Yes.
Yes. And there were some very brave souls

Speaker 1 who traversed the internet and found their way to hagclaims8.com. It's not hard to get to, but you have to want it.
You also have to put in the right combination of letters.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the it is number the number eight.

Speaker 1 And then what happened, Scott? Please continue this fascinating tale.

Speaker 1 There were some people who made their way over there and they pressed the right combination of buttons in order to leave us voicemails.

Speaker 1 And I love this. I thought maybe we'd listen to some.
What? That sounds great. I would love to do that.
Thank you for suggesting that. Yeah, no, it's my pleasure.
It's cool.

Speaker 1 All right, let's hear this one. It's cool.
It's cool. It's cool.

Speaker 4 Hi, Frida. It's Erin from Portland, Oregon.

Speaker 1 Hi, Erin.

Speaker 4 Last night I had a dream that Lauren was my anatomy teacher.

Speaker 4 And I never know if you should tell people that they were in your dreams or not. But you guys are my best friend.
So I thought I would tell you.

Speaker 1 Anyway, my question is, would you rather give up bread forever or cheese forever? Love you all so much.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Bread or cheese? Cheese. Two tough things to give up.

Speaker 1 Really hard. Do you know what? My first instinct is I'd rather give up cheese than bread.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about it. What are you afraid of losing? Here's the thing.
I love cheese and bread, and together I love them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But bread, I feel like

Speaker 1 I honestly would probably get more use out of it than cheese.

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 yeah, because the sandwiches are out the way. I would miss it.
Yeah. I would miss it.
Yeah. Like a lot of times I'd be eating something with bread and think, I wish cheese was here.
Yeah. I agree.

Speaker 1 I mean, bread. So I would have sandwiches.
I would have toast. I would have, yeah, I mean, I think pizza, I almost count as bread and there's no cheese.

Speaker 1 But you can still put other stuff on it. You can put other stuff on it.

Speaker 1 What about vegan cheese?

Speaker 1 There's some good stuff. I feel like you'd have to give up all cheese, even vegan cheese, wouldn't you? Probably.
Anything with cheese in it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anything with cheese in the word. Yeah.
Cheese in the word. Cheese is the word.
Cheese is the word. It's the word.

Speaker 1 It's the thing that you gave up forever.

Speaker 1 Back when you could have like a long cartoon opening a movie. Oh, my God.
It's 15 minutes long. Honey, I shrunk the kids has that too.
You're like 15-minute cartoon at the time? Panther.

Speaker 1 I think we just watched some... Mannequin.
Oh, that's right. Mannequin.
Kim. Mannequin.

Speaker 1 That episode isn't out yet.

Speaker 1 I guess that didn't happen. Yeah.
Anyway, but

Speaker 1 I feel like I gave up cheese for like a year at one point. Did you really? Yeah.
It's probably really good for you. Several.
Probably. Because I was like, you know what?

Speaker 1 Got to rein in this weight a little bit. And I actually ended up losing a good amount of weight.
Even though I was still going to fast food places, I would say like, no cheese. No cheese, please.

Speaker 1 And it seems like giving up bread would make you lose more weight.

Speaker 1 It would make me horny. Cheese make me horny, baby.

Speaker 1 Cheese make me horny, baby. But man, when I don't.
cheese make me i really just wanted to do it

Speaker 1 when i don't have bread for a long time i really really crave it whereas i don't think the opposite for cheese

Speaker 1 i don't really i don't think i've ever really pulled back on either probably should

Speaker 1 yeah but it's fun i'm not here to judge

Speaker 1 anything about you how about you get a cheese you get a cheese plate a cheese board yeah you get some cheese on there you get some grapes some honey it's always the best some nuts some marcona almonds.

Speaker 1 And you get some bread, you know? Yeah. Get some crusty bread.

Speaker 1 That's the best. So nice.
I love it. I love that for dinner.
I love that when you just go, let's just say, fuck it. Yeah.
We have a cheese. The original girl dinner.
Yeah. Girl math.

Speaker 1 Bear with a polarizing light. Girl math.
I didn't eat all day and now I'm having cheese board.

Speaker 1 Boy math, destroy. Boy math, video games.

Speaker 1 World domination. I have heard this in killing spree.
Listeners, please feel free to tell us that we're wrong on this or that I'm wrong. I'll tell you.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm worried that our listeners are afraid to tell us when we're wrong.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No.
So please.

Speaker 1 Have the bravery to contact us. No, you have, of course, you have every right.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 there was a certain time where we were trying to get Emmy like, oh, no, for a snack, have fruit or whatever. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Like, because she just wants crackers. Crackers, crackers, crackers, crackers.
Crackers are great. All the time.
And then crunchies. One of the other and crunchies.
She loves crunchies.

Speaker 1 But then one of the other parents was like,

Speaker 1 you know, I used to be concerned about that. But then I read that these kids just basically subsist on carbs.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, okay. And

Speaker 1 she's healthy and is not.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what I mean? So I was just like, you know what? I have all the crackers you want.
So now she gets up in the morning and it feels weird because she's like, I want crackers.

Speaker 1 I'm like, have at it.

Speaker 1 It's a big bowl of crackers. It feels weird to do, but it's just like, you know, and my parents never would have let me.

Speaker 1 What do you think? No, I think, yes. I'm very lenient with a lot of the food stuff.
And I just go, as long as you're ingesting food, you have energy, you're pooping every day.

Speaker 1 I'm kind of like, we're good. You know, I try to get some good stuff in there, but it's hard.
The older they get to, the more they're just like, no.

Speaker 1 I don't want to scream and cry about eating a piece of broccoli or something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that cookbook about like that, didn't Jerry Seinfeld's wife do about like sneaking broccoli plagiarized from somebody else or something?

Speaker 1 You know, like sneaking broccoli into foods they love. And first of all, Emmy's too smart for that.
She always goes like, what's this? It's like a dog with a pill in their food.

Speaker 1 It's like a dog with a pill. It's like a dog with a pill and food.

Speaker 1 But so at this point, it's like, I mean, we give her broccoli. And there are days where she's just like, I like broccoli.

Speaker 1 But it changes within 10 minutes, too, where she's just like, so happy that she gets crackers with sour cream and then, or not sour cream, cream cheese. And then that sounds good.

Speaker 1 And then 10 minutes into it, she's like, I don't like crackers.

Speaker 1 And it's like, oh, okay, you were begging me for these, but here I am. No, it's crazy.
Well, she needs to get her story straight.

Speaker 1 I wish, now I'm not a parent, but I wish you would make your children eat one leaf of lettuce. a day right in front of you.
I'd love it if I could force that. That will never happen.

Speaker 1 Here's all you have to do.

Speaker 1 And then you can eat candy canes for dinner. But that's that's the thing because I remember it so clear.

Speaker 1 I was very picky as a child and I remember it so clearly how terrible it felt to be forced to sit there and look at I would have to sit there while the TV was on like Wonderful World of Disney or whatever was on in the other room.

Speaker 1 And I'm just sitting there with a with a plate full of broccoli. And by the way, this is the 70s, so the broccoli we're talking about is not like...

Speaker 1 But it's not like my mom is out there like harvesting fresh broccoli or anything. This is like frozen.

Speaker 1 This is frozen broccoli that she is, you know, heating up, not in a microwave or whatever, but like heating up in a saucepan or whatever. And it's gross, you know?

Speaker 1 So it's like, and I would sit there and they would force me until I finally ate it and I would be crying. Be like, mom, you got to harvest the broccoli.

Speaker 1 I would have one meatball in a bowl and be like, I just can't eat it. I can't eat it.
I would love a meatball in a bowl right now. And by the way, no seasoning or whatever.

Speaker 1 It was just purely like boiled. I felt

Speaker 1 everyone else liked whatever was happening. And I just was like, I don't want to eat that.

Speaker 1 And then it becomes so big. The more they're like, you have to eat it, the crazier it would feel to eat it that it's like, I'm not going to eat that.
I'm not going to.

Speaker 1 And you feel like you're going to throw up. Like, I just know it.
So then when I do it to her and she's like crying, I'm like, okay, just stop. You don't have to.
I'm just, I can't torture you.

Speaker 1 Cause it is when you're a kid, that's like the biggest problem you have. And it's so stressful.

Speaker 1 This is the glory of being a part of a big family. towards the end is that your parents don't give a shit anymore.

Speaker 1 And when my, when my mom would make something for dinner and I'd be be like, I don't like that. She'd be like, make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Yeah. And then you're like, great.

Speaker 1 And I was like,

Speaker 1 all right. I see how this is going to be.
Would you still eat the thing then?

Speaker 1 I usually would end up eating the thing. Yeah.
Or eat around it, like whatever the sides were, you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 there was no pressure. There was like maybe a gentle, like, just try it, you know, but not, there was no,

Speaker 1 no fight. Right.

Speaker 1 I'd really like to get into a place of you have to try it and then you can say you don't like it yeah we sometimes have that for a while yeah it's so hard for a she also changes her mind a lot where like like i say where she'll say something she doesn't like we're good about her foot flopping yeah but then but then she'll say like this is gross and we'll go okay well just keep it in front of you and then have some of this and then she'll just like find her way back to it and start eating it and she'll go i like this yeah you know so it's like wrong the one thing we we are doing is like saying no dessert unless you eat this amount Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, but I try to do that too. I'm like, just take a pokeywa.
But then if she doesn't eat it, we can go, you can be done. Like, you just won't get dessert.
That's all.

Speaker 1 You know, and sometimes that's fine. She's like, yeah, okay, great.
Yeah. That's when she doesn't like dessert, right?

Speaker 1 This ice cream's gross. That's it.
She never flip-flops on the actual sweet. Although we, we decorated holiday cookies yesterday.

Speaker 1 And weirdly, she had no interest in eating them. She just wanted to decorate them.
Wow. And we're like, do you want to try one afterwards? She's like, no, I don't like these.

Speaker 1 And just went off and played. It was like, wow.
So all you want to do is decorate them. I want to get knowing that she'd been a part of their construction.
Yeah. Yeah.
She was like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I wouldn't eat a cookie. I touched that.

Speaker 1 I'm a disgusting child. I don't wash my hands.

Speaker 1 All right. Do we want to hear another? Oh, did we ever pick?

Speaker 1 I'm going to say cheese, but yeah. I'm going to go.
You know what? I'm going to just be crazy and go without the bread. I want cheese.

Speaker 1 If I could, if I could never have bread again, I think I would just live. Cheese, please.
Yeah, that's what you're like. That's what I'm like, basically.
And you already picked. Yeah, I did, man.

Speaker 1 All right, here we go.

Speaker 5 Hello, Threedom Gang. My name is Anna, and I'm from the Netherlands, so I'm adding to the list of internationals calling you.

Speaker 1 Yay, thank you.

Speaker 5 So I've been listening to comedy bing bang, spontaneous,

Speaker 5 with special guests, all the podcasts since I was 15 years years old. I'm now 30.
And back then, when I was in the city, that's actually crazy.

Speaker 5 In the closet to myself and the world around me,

Speaker 5 it was very, felt very safe and nice that

Speaker 5 Earwolf was always a place where gay people were on, where

Speaker 5 there was talked openly about it. And I think even 15 years ago, it wasn't as open as it is now, also in the comedy world.
So that meant a lot to me. And it got me wondering,

Speaker 5 especially also growing up in a time that wasn't so progressive, do you guys remember at what point in your life as teenagers or in your 20s, maybe you started having more progressive values than your parents or the world around you and how you dealt with that if you rebeled and yeah, how that went.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much. Thoughtful and cool.
Thank you, Annette. I hope I'm saying your name correctly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what a lovely question. I do remember

Speaker 1 I was raised Catholic.

Speaker 1 I was a devout Catholic and believed in everything. And then once I graduated high school and moved downtown in Philadelphia.
Where your life's a mass.

Speaker 1 That's right. Downtown.
That's your home address. That's right.

Speaker 1 Downtown word depression's just status quo.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And I started meeting people that were not raised exactly like I was. You know, like in the hat store.
This is in the hat store. Yeah.
The hat store changed my life.

Speaker 1 Because people come in for all kinds of hats. But it was a hat that says gay on it.
It was

Speaker 1 face hats, hats, and safe hats. Because that's what I am.
Can you handle that?

Speaker 1 But yeah, it was such a... It was such a steady, a gradual but steady thing.

Speaker 1 And it was like easy. You know what I mean? I didn't feel like my, oh my God, my whole worldview is being challenged.
It more felt like I remember having the awareness of,

Speaker 1 you know, like, I haven't really met anybody like this person before or, you know, and

Speaker 1 the demystification of it was so immediate when I would meet people. And then the thing that hung on the longest was my faith.
And then that gradually just kind of went away.

Speaker 1 And then I one day was aware of that too. It's like, oh, yeah.
And now you're in. Oh, yeah, you see.
You're into crypto.

Speaker 1 And listen, I want to talk to you guys about this. And you keep running away from me.
But this is very important. No, no, no, no.
It's good.

Speaker 1 It's the future. Any day now.
Yeah, we're talking about that. Any day now.
We're going to talk about that later. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I signed up for your sit-down Zoom situation. Yeah.
I have to sign up for sit-down Zoom.

Speaker 1 With this particular thing,

Speaker 1 in high school, I mean, especially in Orange County, I think I grew, I was in theater, and almost everyone in the department was gay, and but was not out.

Speaker 1 So everyone, it was, it was a weird thing where every

Speaker 1 person that everyone just kind of knew was gay was like saying, No, I'm not gay, but I think everyone else is. And they were like, always, always talking shit about everyone else.

Speaker 1 Like, I think they're gay, I think they're gay. But they, they were also.

Speaker 1 And then I remember when I was, when I was 16, I had a good good friend that I was in a show with who

Speaker 1 I think couldn't like, I think liked me and couldn't quite like come out and say that he was gay.

Speaker 1 And he was trying to figure out if I, that was the, that was the thing when I was young is that everyone was always trying to figure out like who is because like no one would, oh my god, he admit it.

Speaker 1 So, so then when I graduated high school, it was like the opposite.

Speaker 1 Everyone from high school that I ever ran into ever again, like I would see people from high school in a bar and they'd be like, oh, this is my boyfriend. Like everyone was just suddenly out.

Speaker 1 And also I was in college theater groups with a lot of people who were out.

Speaker 1 And it just was kind of like, oh, yeah, fine.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine when I was 19, and he was saying like

Speaker 1 about

Speaker 1 gay people, about how he didn't like that they chose to be gay. And I was like, I was like, do you really think anyone would like choose to

Speaker 1 like, like if you had a choice like oh i'm gonna i'm gonna choose to be the harder

Speaker 1 like hard life

Speaker 1 class of people yeah because like i'm good with either of these things but but then it's also why would it be a choice anyway because it's yeah exactly it's not a choice if you're like if you're heterosexual like a cis heterosexual person you there's no moment do you say

Speaker 1 I'm deciding to go this way. Well, that's the other thing is, is like when they say it's a sin, it's like, oh, I'm straight, but God, I really want to be gay, but it's too much.

Speaker 1 Well, when I was in high school, there were when I looked, when I looked back on it, of course, there was like, because I was in theater in high school, and there were these gay guys that had girlfriends, you know, like they would make out and stuff with these girls.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, I mean, he seemed gay, but I guess he's not. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I remember one of them like wrote basically Smith's lyrics to his girlfriend, like to prove how romantic he was and stuff.

Speaker 1 But anyway, but I remember saying this to my friend about like, why would anyone just like choose this? I think everyone's just born that way, born the way they're born.

Speaker 1 This is this predates Lady Gaga. I think she got this from me.
That's pretty cool. But

Speaker 1 he went, huh?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. You're right.
And it's so funny because that changed his, like, at that point, he was totally progressive on that issue as well.

Speaker 1 You know, it was just like, so I think it's just, like you say, Paul, like being around

Speaker 1 people who are

Speaker 1 comfortable with themselves, you know? I think for me, a lot of that came from starting to do improv with older people.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm from a liberal town and my parents are like had progressive views. And so that I wasn't raised in like a situation where I was like rebelling against that.

Speaker 1 But the,

Speaker 1 I think just like the growing within that would have come from like when I started doing improv classes, I was 18 and I was still in high school, but everyone in my class was out of college mostly.

Speaker 1 And I, and some older, you know, but just to be around people who are just like living their life fully, and you just go like, oh, that's what, these are some options for life. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, I think it's very eye-opening.

Speaker 1 Just also, when you move to a big city, there are just so many people who are just like comfortable because they're not in a place where they're going to be looked down on all the time.

Speaker 1 So it's just so nice to be able to see when you're, excuse me, when you're in a big city, just people just being who they want to be. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like, um,

Speaker 1 yeah, I think, so I think meeting, meeting older people who were like more comfortable in their lives and just like knew who they were. And that was cool.

Speaker 1 And then I think, yeah, I mean, I guess that's my answer. It's funny because you got to, as, you know, the turning point for you is finally getting to meet bigots.

Speaker 1 No, honestly, yeah. That was shocking.
I think anytime I've come across someone who's like that, I'm like, this is crazy. You're the weirdest person on earth.

Speaker 1 I don't understand you it is a wild thing when you're raised in kind of a conservative way even though my parents were liberals you know they were like that kind of east coast um you know working class also just catholic democrat the age that we are yeah it just it's not a thing it's so funny because even four years later i think

Speaker 1 uh my so-called life is on the air and there's an out character who's in high school there. That was unthinkable to me because like there were zero out people in high school.

Speaker 1 But when you have that realization of, like, oh, these people are not a threat, like, they're they're sort of it's either implied or said directly to you that these people are a threat, that they have an agenda, they want something, they're trying to make something happen, and then you realize, well, no, they're not.

Speaker 1 And the people that are doing that actually are the people that are saying that other people are a threat to have an agenda.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I had examples of people in my life who were living like great lives, lives. And

Speaker 1 in our town, it was not like crazy. So like, you know, if my friend had two moms, it was like, that was just not weird.
Is this your friend Heather?

Speaker 1 What's that from? Well, Heather has two mommies.

Speaker 1 What's that from?

Speaker 1 It was a book.

Speaker 1 Heather has two mommies. Yeah.
Yeah. Cool.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I mean, so I think like, I think. It's an okay book.
And it's also one of those things where it's like, you know, now with kids, it's a very easy thing to explain.

Speaker 1 It's like one of of the, when people try to act like, how do, how do I explain this to my grandfather? How do I explain this? Yeah, when you're like, I do it every day.

Speaker 1 Snoop. Yeah.
It's like, how do I explain this to my grandkids? The Buzz Lightyear movie. Yeah.
I think some people, some women are with women and some men are with men.

Speaker 1 It's like the sentence is pretty much talking about.

Speaker 1 I was like talking about this subject with Emmy recently and I was like racking my brain trying to cover all my bases because she was saying like her good friend has two moms and I was like, yeah, and that's great.

Speaker 1 And, and then she's like, and you, and, and I have a mommy and a daddy. And I was like, yeah, that's fine too.

Speaker 1 Um, and I said, and then some, some uh families um have two daddies, and then some uh some only have what I guess some have one daddy and no, and no one else.

Speaker 1 And then I was just like, Okay, what are all the possible combinations here? I tried to list them all and just going, and it's all okay.

Speaker 1 And whatever, just families are all fine of like, you know, I didn't get to thruples, but at some point I will. Yeah, yeah.
You have to explain Batman, who had no parents. Right, yeah.
And then he

Speaker 1 and he had a ward.

Speaker 1 He did have a ward. You know, yeah.
So some men are not your daddy, but they have you as a ward. They fully control you.
Yeah. And you dress up and follow him around at night.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. On rooftops.
And you have an old man who waits on you hand and foot. Sure.
Yeah. That's a family.
And he keeps your secrets.

Speaker 1 Well, this was fun. Yes, it was.
I guess it was.

Speaker 1 It's about time to wrap it up. It's about time to wrap it up.
Do you feel like it's time to wrap it up? I do. Yeah.
Yeah. I do.
I feel like. You can't do this one episode forever.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, that would be great to do an episode that lasted as long as anyone listened to it. And when the last person turns it off, then we stop.
You're saying that would be great? Sure.

Speaker 1 I think it's great to wrap it up now. I feel like.
All right, let's do that instead. Bye.
Bye. Oh, wait.
Anything to plug? It's Thanksgiving. First of all, happy Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 Anything that you want to plug?

Speaker 1 You know what? I don't actually think I have anything lined up. I'm kind of because you did your show already.
And, Paul, you're on tour starting this week. That's right.

Speaker 1 And then when I come home, I'll be doing Variatopia at the lodge room on Sunday the 21st, and it will be live streamed to the world, variatopia.com for tickets. Oh, oh, oh.
And I also

Speaker 1 we have three to merch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when do we get some?

Speaker 1 Yeah, when do we get some? Exactly. But it is

Speaker 1 out

Speaker 1 there,

Speaker 1 much like the truth

Speaker 1 in the S5.

Speaker 1 Holiday cards are back.

Speaker 1 Buy them for anyone you think needs to go to hell this holiday season. We also have Freedom Teas.
The new to this year, we have the I Work Here Tea.

Speaker 1 We also have the Corporate Lady How to Talk Tea, and the Pizza Robot Tea is back in stock. Yes! Could this pizza be

Speaker 1 anymore in this robot? Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 Go to kinshipgoods.com/slash freedom. Good.
For all that. Okay.
Okay. That's it.

Speaker 1 All right. Love you.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 2 You know, when you're just going about your busy day and a voice asks you something like, why do people have crushes? Or, do dogs know they're dogs? The Brains On podcast is here to help.

Speaker 2 Every episode answers tough questions with funny skits, cool facts, and more. It's a science show for kids of all ages.
Whether you grew up with JFK, MTV, TLC, or TMZ, Brains On is for you.

Speaker 1 Listening may induce uncontrollable laughter and turn backseat squabbles into harmonious car trips. Find Brains On wherever you get your podcasts.