How to join the Yogscast | Triforce Mailbag #62

Pickox.

All right, remember, the machine knows if you're lying.

First statement: Carvana will give you a real offer on your car all online.

False.

True, actually.

You can sell your car in minutes.

False?

That's gotta be true again.

Carvana will pick up your car from your door, or you can drop it off at one of their car vending machines.

Sounds too good to be true, so true.

Finally, caught on.

Nice job.

Honesty isn't just their policy, it's their entire model.

Sell your car today, too.

Carvana.

Pickup fees may apply.

All right, listen up, nacho chips.

Quiet down, crispy potatoes.

This is the moment Velveeta's been preparing you for, and you're not about to crack under pressure.

Today's the day to go all in on the drip.

Velveeta's heat-neat queso is the MVP of any game day spread, so stick by them, and you'll be golden.

Now get out there and make delicious history.

No tailgate party is complete without Velveeta.

Hello, friends.

Welcome back to Triforce Podcast.

This is a mailbag episode.

I hope you're ready.

Right, I'm ready.

Right into it.

I bet you've gotten this email at least four times.

The Blades of Glory style curling movie Sips was thinking of is called Men with Brooms.

Men with Brooms.

And it's

features a scrappy Canadian underdog team that have to face down a flamboyant american team i knew there was a curling movie out there somewhere there you go right there you go there you go that's my

i knew it straight out of the gate with a good correction great same leslie nielsen in it oh

there you go yeah

he's uh someone's dad i think probably you know it's it's funny his whole career was just based around being a straight guy like the the straight man who was actually being funny he was so funny though He he was so good at it.

Yeah, but the reason that they got him to do airplane in the first place was because he'd always played these very sort of stiff, very formal characters.

Turns out he was a comedic, you know, he was brilliant at

comedic timing and all that.

He was a great comic actor.

But he never would have been.

Hey, listen, before

straight.

Just speaking of

people who were who were once famous and now and now gone, have you guys seen the Pee Wee Herman documentary?

What?

He's not Pee-Immer.

Pee-wee as himself.

Yeah, yeah, he died a couple of years ago.

Oh, shit.

Did he really?

God, I fucking missed that.

Yeah.

If you want to see an interesting documentary, it's two parts.

It's all about his life, rise to fame, controversy.

I loved Pee-Wee Herman.

I know he was a bit of a, you know, he masturbated in public theaters and stuff, but geez, if that's the worst.

Who hasn't been caught having a rank?

Well, in the local.

Me,

my arm is up in the air right now.

I've never been caught.

Oh, yeah, yeah, no, that's true.

We've never been caught.

I'm not saying I don't do it.

I'm just saying nobody's ever caught me doing it, which is, you know, another thing entirely.

No, it's interesting.

If you haven't seen it, Pee-Wee as himself, I recommend it.

It's really good, really interesting.

Especially if you have some nostalgia for the Pee-Wee Playhouse show, which I used to watch on AIDS.

It was a good show.

It was honestly...

Pee-wee's Big Adventure was Tim Burton's big first movie.

Really?

As well, which is interesting.

I love that movie as well.

Ruby Herman in the 80s was like, if you haven't heard of him, you go look it up.

It seems weird.

He was, it was genuinely, you'd never seen a kids' TV show like it.

It was so bizarre and funny and just utterly crazy.

And it's still, I can't believe it got made.

That's really interesting.

Yeah.

I mean, it started as like they did it.

It was like a series of plays that they did with an improv group in LA.

He was big into, he used to be really good friends with Phil Hartman as well.

Phil Hartman was originally one of the characters in the Pee Wee sort of stage show that they used to do locally for like, you know, 100 people at midnight on a Saturday night or whatever.

And then it just gained momentum from there and got, it just got really, really big.

It became like a cult thing.

And then

they said, oh, do you want to make a movie?

Do you want to make a TV show or whatever?

And he was like, yeah, sure.

He just ran with it.

It was really.

I can't believe this.

But the Pee-Wee Herman debuted in 1979.

Yeah, that's like the, that's what i'm saying the stage the stage show was like really early on and then the show dating game it was like uh 1986 yeah he went on he so it was like a persona that he created for this show

and he would go on to like he would go on to like uh like news radio shows as pee wee herman he went he went on the dating show as pee wee herman like it was just he was like uh you know he he liked being like sort of he liked doing like that like he was very like artistic he liked doing all the wow you know yeah i think he was brilliant yeah

speaking of Pee Wee Herman, here's a follow-up email.

Triforce, the straightest guy you know,

which is obviously not Paul Rubens.

Hey, period, longtime listener, first-time male bagger.

I was listening to the podcast on the train and was cracking up a sip talking about the straightest guy you could think of with the builders in his house.

It reminded me of a reality TV show called Playing It Straight from the early 2000s, where a mix of gay and straight men entered a dude ranch and competed to woo a lady.

Each week, she would eliminate who she thought was gay,

as they were not in it for love, and would get get a cash prize if she was right.

She ended up picking the straight guy.

It was very much of its time, very much so, and has aged pretty poorly, as you can imagine.

But there is a somewhat nice silver lining of one of the final men being the most obviously straight, turning out to be gay and going on the show to challenge stereotypes.

Do you have any guilty pleasure TV shows or shows that haven't aged well?

Touch the Truck always

struck me as something that you wouldn't get made nowadays.

And of course, its sequel, Touch the Kids, but it was

a long time ago.

back then that kind of thing just happened you know nowadays we're talking about we were talking about little britain the uh the other day in chat while i was streaming and uh that that's one that has not aged very well at all uh i mean i hated it at the time and now looking back i despise it no it's i i at the time some of it i found very funny but um i it was just such a weird time i feel like for me i don't know if this is correct or not but i feel like that was like one of the last sort of big mainstream shows that was on before

we had a lot of like political correctness and, you know,

canceling people and all that kind of stuff.

I feel like that was like maybe the last, the last show.

Not that I look back and think like, oh, I wish we could go back to those days because when you look back on a lot of the humor and the jokes, some of it is just dire.

Like it has not, it has not aged well at all.

It's just ways.

But at the time, I remember some of it being very funny, you know, like I just, I don't know, it was, some of of it was very like simplistic and whatever, but yeah, I think it was very funny.

For me, that's a huge, a huge, like, hasn't aged well show.

I'm sure a lot of people feel this.

It's so heavily sort of catchphrase.

Like, I don't even, I've watched like a handful of bits of episodes because I've never liked it.

But people loved a catchphrase and a repeated sketch.

Computer says no.

Wasn't that one of them?

That's still a thing that people say, which was just a sketch where a guy is, I don't know, he's working in various places and someone asks a question, and they tap it, and oh, computer says no.

So it's like, but that was it.

And it was, it was like, what, how is that a fucking sketch that gets into everybody's brains?

It's so bizarre.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's, it's, like I said, like, I can never predict it.

Some of it I found like not like not too bad.

And then some of it.

I think the touch the truck genre was a big deal.

This is where you had to hold on to something for as long as you possibly could.

It died in the wake of that woman who died holding a Wii for a Wii or whatever.

Yeah, it was like, yeah, it was like the Stephen King

adaptation that's about to come out called The Long Walk, where people just have to walk at a certain pace and Last Man Standing wins a billion dollars or whatever.

It was one of his Richard Backman novellas back in the day, and now they've adapted it.

And I mean, it's pretty amazing that they decided to make a movie about this because it's quite a short story and it's literally just a bunch of lads walking.

And if they lag behind for too long, they get shot.

Like, that's.

It feels like people have been a lot more creative with that in things like Squid Game.

Or even like Mr.

Beast's fucking, I hate to say it.

He's brought this shit back.

Remember, with like how I'm sure he did a similar thing where he had like YouTubers

competing for how long they could stay in a hot tub or some shit.

I hope fuck though.

I don't know.

Who knows?

It's just semi-dangerous stuff that eventually someone will die doing and it'll will move on again and then it'll come back around.

But it doesn't sound that dangerous.

That's the thing.

like touching a truck doesn't sound dangerous or holding your Wii doesn't sound dangerous.

And it was never advertised as such, right?

It was never promoted as

holding your we for a week.

It was like an enduring sport that an average person could

say, I could do that.

I could stay up all night touching a truck.

I could hold my wee for ages.

Why not just do it?

I should be able to show you.

If you think you could do it, just like going to Keshi's Castle or something, like that's fine.

You're probably not going to die on that, you know?

Like

it's a, it's a good format.

Just go on something like that.

Right.

You have these people who you get everyone around, you just film them all.

Some of them drop out immediately.

And then there's one or two people who just stay on for ages.

And then they argue with each other.

And they, you know, and that's it.

You know, you create a little bit of, it's, it's lazy.

Lazy reality TV was so alluring because it was.

unscripted, unpredictable, real, in a sense.

Like it was, it was,

and it's like, if you film for long enough, something interesting happens, you know, because you've got a bunch of weirdos together.

You've deliberately picked the weirdest people who applied.

And that's what you get.

This is how all these things still go today.

Anyway, let's get on with the mailbag.

Lewis and Sip's dream controversy.

Right.

Don't worry.

It's not.

This is not going in the direction you immediately imagined that it would.

Do you know what?

I'm pretty open.

I'm pretty loose.

I haven't considered where this is going.

I'm intrigued, though.

Okay, uh, I was having a dream the other day where I was driving my partner to work.

Usually, I like to leave music on, but my partner has been enjoying the podcast, so I'll play that in the car.

Anyway, as I was taking a turn in my dream, the podcast was finishing up.

You'd said something I can't remember, but afterwards, Sipped dropped, Sips dropped the N-word with the hardest R I have ever heard.

I can still hear him saying it in my head.

Lewis immediately busted into laughter, finding the whole thing hilarious.

You didn't respond.

My partner covered their mouth in shock.

I don't remember anything else from the dream other than Sip's rampant racism and the podcast editor's refusal to remove it.

Thanks, Brian.

Wow.

Gosh, Brian.

So that was one of the earlier episodes.

It's a different time.

Yeah, we've sold into a groove now.

We edit our body.

Times were different back then.

It was the heady days of 2017.

No, it was 2018.

When Britain was still on TV, and,

you know, it was just, it was just, it was cool to be racist back then, but things have changed a lot now.

It was a different era.

Trump was in charge.

Oh,

wait, in 2018, oh, yeah, of course, in 2018.

We're talking about 2016 was the first 2016, yeah.

And we started, I think, in 2017, I would say.

Did we actually start in 2017?

It was a different era.

It was different.

Have a look.

I will tell you what.

We were allowed to say whatever.

Anyone?

Triforce podcast.

Triforce sought by

videos.

This has been looked looked for before.

The first Triforce podcast episode titled Sell Your Kids was released on March 23rd, 2016.

Yeah, so 2016.

Sorry.

So in fact, he had just been oh, actually, yeah, he'd just been elected because he was 2016.

So he would have been confirmed as president in January.

Hey, listen, here are some details about the first episode.

Title, Sell Your Kids.

Date, Wednesday, March 23rd, 2016.

Content.

The host discussed what to name the podcast and the best ways to raise children.

gosh.

We started off a band.

I mean, nine years ago, I had a seven-year-old and a four-year-old, and now I have a 16-year-old and a 13-year-old.

In 2016,

so you should take whatever advice I had in that episode.

Apparently, you got them thus far.

Yeah,

I had a five-year-old and a one-year-old, and now I got a 13-year-old, a nine-year-old, and a four-year-old.

So, wow.

No.

I know.

All right, moving on.

American pilot.

This is from an American pilot, believe it or or not.

Hello, I'm in the US.

I can't believe it.

I know, and I'm a pilot, and I've been listening to you guys since the beginning.

Thanks for keeping me entertained on long flights and layovers.

In the most recent episode, you guys discussed why planes don't go faster from A to B than they usually do, since they apparently are able to.

Remember that?

We were like, they're like, well, make up the time and blah, blah, blah.

The answer comes down 99.9% to fuel.

Planes have a sweet spot in the power setting and altitude.

and speed to get the maximum fuel efficiency possible.

Usually they can push it to get up an extra bit of speed at the cost of a much higher fuel burn.

Pyrrhion had mentioned ATC routing as being a big cause when in certain cases can be true, but overall, at least in America, ATC, that's air traffic control for you groundlings, does not give a single shit if you are late.

You can as a pilot request more direct routing and about 50% of the time they'll grant it, but they very rarely volunteer it upon you unprompted.

As for the corridors into airports, at least in America, you have procedures called standard terminal arrival routes, or STARS.

These to send you down out of the high altitude cruise down to an altitude to intercept an approach system, either GPS or ground-based ILS or visual.

These can never be skipped to save time.

You can, however, skip ahead in the sequence if you're low on fuel or in an emergency, but being late is not a valid reason.

Also, Sips asked if they carry extra fuel.

Yes.

Usually enough to get to the airport to the furthest field, alternate airport, and then an extra 45 minutes of cruising fuel.

Sorry for the email.

I tried to keep it simple.

No, no, that's interesting.

Thanks.

We did that.

We did.

I'm going to picture of a cockpit that he's sent here.

Would you like to see it?

Yes, please.

All right, I'll pop it in the disclaimer.

That is an interesting formula.

So, the fuel they carry is enough to get to the destination plus the nearest alternate airport plus 45 minutes.

That's if I've read his email correctly.

Good to know.

I think that makes a lot of sense.

You know, like you ever had, oh, that is very

cockpit.

It looks like very comfortable chairs, too.

Man, I would be shitting myself if I had to fly a plane.

I knew there was like 200 people on it or something.

Yeah, you can't see them.

Yeah, but even even though i would know i would have like some awareness that i was in i was responsible you know what i mean like it would it would crush

that goes out of your mind very quickly first time i bet you shit yourself after that you just the thing is a lot of it is because they do so much training i think a lot of it must just be like you know uh i want to say muscle memory i don't know if it is actually muscle memory but you know what i mean like they're they're very familiar with what they're what they're doing so maybe they don't think about it that much i still think you probably have to concentrate a lot though You know, you got to, you got to have your wits about you, especially if something, God forbid, goes wrong when you're up there.

Jesus.

Look at those seats.

So those seats are really plush.

I know.

They've got, let me just describe it.

They look so cushiony and plushy, but they're shaped like a U-shape, almost like a toilet seat.

They've got a big gap in the middle where the, I guess you're...

Is that where the eject fucking lever is or some shit behind between the level?

That's exactly what it's called as well.

There's a label above it that says the eject fucking lever.

Wait, so do you mean the white thing in the middle?

Uh, no, I meant between between your legs.

What's between your legs?

Why is there like a feet?

That's like the that's like the manual flight.

It looks like a microphone or something.

It looks like

if they need to, if they need to manually,

you know, pull up, control or pull up or something like that, you have to like shimmy backwards.

So like get it between you.

There's like a little button on the bottom of the seat that slides it backwards.

Like, you know what?

Wait, do you mean the thing that has 2000 LXS and a circle in the middle?

middle is that what you're talking about i'm talking about this you look at the seat and why it has such a huge

cut out of it for their big cocks to dangle down

it's not called the cockpit for no reason

get on with it next

okay

all right uh this is an email uh from will um uh on the most recent episode of the triforce mailbag, you mentioned a story about a Hooters waitress selling her underwear.

Attached or screenshots of a time a random gentleman on Facebook messaged me after I posted in a student page.

Also, for reference, so he's given me photos of the conversation that he had with this guy.

And what I'm going to do is

I'm going to read the left-hand side of the conversation.

And Sips, I'd like you to read the right-hand side of the conversation.

Do you want to do it?

It's like a reenactment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So let me paste these in sequence.

Of an online chat.

Okay.

I've got the first one.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let me get these in order before we...

Oh, right.

There's multiple pages.

It's not that long.

So you're reading the left and I'm reading the right.

So that's like bluish purple.

You're going to read the blue side and I'll read the gray side.

Okay.

Let me see.

Hold on.

You can cut all this, by the way.

Sorry.

No, you should leave it in.

And also,

let's make sure that there's some context so that we can't have this conversation clipped out of context and people actually think that we have this conversation or maybe use a different voice or something because, you know, we live in the.

I don't think that's a concern.

And if it is.

Well,

I'm just saying, you never know, especially if it's like a little bit on the, I mean, I guess we probably have talked about.

So this is a real listener.

So, yes, just for context of what this is, Will was messaged on Facebook Messenger, and this is the email, the series of conversations that he had.

Okay, well,

Will is just just a very ordinary looking lad.

Okay.

Will

I?

Do the first one.

Hello.

You good, bro?

Sorry for the random message.

Yeah, good.

Can I help you with anything?

Maybe.

Kind of wanted to ask you something a bit weird,

crying smiley face.

Go on.

Are you in the Cardiff area?

Yeah, why?

Okay, I'll ask you, but no judgment, yeah, because it's proper weird, crying laughing face, lol.

And don't be a dick about it.

And like, if it's just no, say in it, and we can move on with our days, lol.

Just ask what you want to ask.

Would you meet me and sell me your socks?

Why?

That's a very broad question, laughing crying face.

I'm very unlikely to sell you my socks for whatever reason.

Is this a society thing?

Uh, no,

more of a personal thing.

Explain?

Don't worry about it, bro.

Ha ha ha.

If you're not down, then you're not down.

No point in me embarrassing myself further, crying laughing face.

Why did you choose to message me?

But also, I never said no, just curious.

Because I thought you looked hot, crying laughing face.

How much would you pay for my socks?

It's more of a small but fairly regular thing, cash-wise.

Usually do about £30, £40 a time.

Why don't you just buy socks?

Well, it's not really about the socks, is it, Crying Laughing Face?

I'm probably going to have to say no, mate.

Hopefully you find someone else, though.

And that's it.

Now, that is, in all honesty, first of all, the lad approaching him is trying to be...

He's trying to save face and make out like it's no big deal, but he clearly has a thing for using fellas socks for whatever i mean he's you know he's a probably a gay lad who's into feet or smelly feet or socks or whatever no problemo but just messaging someone out of nowhere having this awkward conversation oh my god you must you must be so into socks if you're willing to expose yourself in this way that is i mean honestly that's embarrassing okay so very funny is it is a basically a pair of socks per day are we talking i don't know i don't think so i don't know if you need a new one every day well i mean an old one okay

You want like an old, you could probably get away with it for a week or two before the stink like, you know, gets out.

Okay, but I don't know.

Okay, so if he's paying 30 to 40 quid every time for a pair of socks, right?

That's insane.

Even if that was like, say, three times a week, 120 quid, you can buy close mate women's.

Oh, sorry, these are women's.

Okay, soxy, 12 pairs men's cotton-rich sports socks.

No, but no, but it's not six or twelve pairs.

It's not about the £9.49.

The profits are insane.

It's not really about socks.

Is it?

No, he literally says it's not really about the socks.

Because that's one of the questions that's.

I mean, why don't you just buy socks?

It's like it's not about the socks.

Man, if somebody's saying to me, I will buy your socks for 40 quid, I am saying yes, like immediately.

That's too good of a deal to pass on.

I'm not kidding.

I think there are quite a few people out there who would pay good money for Sips's socks.

The only thing

online stores.

Okay, so in all of this, the thing that puts me off the most is not so much that somebody wants to be weird with my socks.

The only thing that would put me off this is the effort I'd have to go to to package them up and then post them.

That's what's putting you off.

That's what would

put me off.

Like, if I could just put them in a container at the end of my driveway, I'm

do it.

Let's go.

I mean, did you put my socks out?

Did the sock men come today?

That's a big moneymaker.

That's all of our income right now.

Make sure you don't forget.

This is like a side business that goes around picking up dirty socks from everyone's houses and selling them online.

But here's the thing, right?

They want that.

It's the person.

It's clearly him.

It's like you're attractive.

I fancy you.

Yeah.

Therefore, I want you to be able to do that.

But my weird thing is just, I don't want to have sex with you or anything.

I just want to...

look at your Facebook pictures while I smell your stinky socks.

Right.

And yeah, I'm just going to go to the bottom of the bus.

But I mean, it's also that this is a thing with trainers like shoes, sneakers, right?

Is that you can you see a lot of those for sale on eBay, and there's always like a biography to go with the sock.

Exactly.

It's always like this sock belonged to a young, sort of chavvy lad who would like to go out with his mates and he dressed like this.

And that's like the fetish is the story behind me sock.

That's really weird.

Okay, think of somebody, somebody, a celebrity that you find really attractive, okay?

Like you Pee Wee Herman.

Peewee Herman.

Pee Herman.

All right.

Imagine you had the.

The girl who Pee-Wee Herman fancied in the Pee-Wee Herman movies.

When he looks at her tips.

In Big Top Pee-Wee?

When they had that scene.

She was like a diamond.

When they had that really long kissing scene in Big Top Pee-Wee.

She played Ramona in Hot Shots as well, if you remember.

She was kind of like...

She was kind of in everything for a little while in the late 80s.

Pee-whee Herman, hot woman.

Miss Yvonne?

No.

No,

Miss Yvonne is in the shit.

Yeah, she was like the 1950s girl next door.

Is this in Pee-Wee Herman's Big Top?

Yeah, Big Top Pee Wee.

She's the love interest in Big Top Pee-Wee, but she's been in loads of stuff.

She's been in loads of stuff.

She was

the woman in Hot Shots as well.

Oh my God, she was so beautiful.

She was just the most beautiful exotic creature.

So you think she's beautiful and you have a big crush on her and you think

the next evolution in

your fascination of this woman is you want to have a pair of her underpants delivered to you so that you can smell them and probably jerk off to them a lot.

Okay, what if you, you, it arrives in the mail, the parcel arrives, and it's like in like floppy packaging, and you're like, Yeah, I know exactly what this is, and you're getting all revved up.

You're like, Man, I can't wait.

I'm going to open this package up.

You open up the package, and there they are: a pair of underpants in like a Ziploc bag.

And you're like, oh, great.

I can't wait to pop open this Ziploc bag and get started.

And you pop open the Ziploc bag, and you're just like, wow, let's go.

Oh, my god, God, like, it blows your head off.

It fucking stinks.

Like, it just stinks like fucking eggs or like some fucking rotten fish or some shit.

Like, you would change your mind immediately, right?

Like, there's no way.

Like, it would be the worst.

Like, uh, yeah, do you know what?

That's like you're browsing for like, you know, some big tits or something, and then you accidentally see some really, really big tits and you're like, oh, I don't like this anymore.

What are you talking about?

Flex doesn't stop at that point.

Flax likes them comically large.

He likes them real big.

I'm like, oh, those are looking like she's injured herself there.

That's not, you know, that must be a real burden to carry those around.

You know, and suddenly it's like, you're out of it, you know?

And so, yes, it's I imagine it's very similar.

You could so easily have a really bad experience there.

Like, I don't think it's worth the risk, honestly.

Hey, you can have bad experiences just going to the shop.

You know what I mean?

If somebody had a pair of my socks, like, they fucking stink.

They must stink.

Yeah, you wouldn't want my socks.

God trifles.

God bless that lad for taking his shot.

Yeah, man-eating animals.

Takes his shot right into the sock.

I tell you that much.

Man-eating animals.

A while ago.

There's already some in there if you get mine.

Oh, no.

Stop it.

Oh, that's an extra tenner.

A while ago, you discussed the deadliest animals on the Triforce, e.g.

mosquitoes killing a million people annually.

Recently, I was reading about a related topic you might all find interesting, which is the deadliest individual animals.

So these are named animals, okay?

Not just

species, but these are like, this is an animal, one animal.

Adolf Hitler.

Like Adolf, but in animal form.

Animal Hitler.

All right.

Right.

Animal Hitler.

The Champowat tiger, a tigress that killed about 200 people in Nepal before being driven into India, where it brought his death toll to 436.

What are you talking about?

And it was trapped.

No, they just tried to drive it off.

This is just a tiger.

Into another country?

Yeah, they drove it into India and then it carried on its spree of the country.

I'm surprised that didn't cause an international incident.

Well, it was tracked by a hunter following the trail of blood from its lost victim and killed in 1907.

The champ Womack tiger.

The Tosavo Man-eaters, a famous pair of lions from Uganda that killed dozens of people and inspired the movie The Ghost and the Darkness.

That's pretty cool.

God, that would be

an awful way to go out.

Gustave the Crocodile that killed over 100 people in Burundi and is possibly still around.

Don't say he's not.

You don't, if you misbehave, Gustave the Crocodile will come and pay you a visit.

These, okay.

I'm just finding out.

Before you spoil this with logic and facts, just let me read about the beast of Guvoidien, a beast, possibly a large wolf, in 17th century France that killed over a hundred people.

The king of France and local nobility were involved in raising expeditions to track down and kill the beast.

It's not known exactly what the beast was, and it might have been multiple large wolves.

Despite royal expenditure, they were eventually killed by Marie Jean Valet, the maid of Gevudouin, who appeared, who speared the beast when it attacked her, and Jean-Castell, a local hunter.

I feel like a lot of this is maybe

has maybe gone in towards the fairy tale of Beauty and the Beast.

You know, like it all seems like very beautiful.

It's very, very French, and like, you know, there's a lot of like hunters and like big macho men involved and stuff.

Like, it's got to be, there's got to be some inspiration for Beauty and the Beast in there somewhere.

Maybe.

Wow.

Don't ruin it, Lewis.

All of those things are true and happened.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

This is the world we live in now.

Yeah, thank you.

All right.

This is from Joseph Morris.

He's a he, this is a metal mailbag.

All right.

This is a metal mailbag song.

I've popped it in.

It's pretty heavy to carry it around.

Hey,

all right, we're going to play this.

Ready?

In three, two, one, play.

It's the bell bag.

All right, nice.

Oh, we should have opened this.

It almost sounds a bit grungy.

Yeah, it's like it's like a like...

Oh, like the kick pedal kind of makes it sound less so, but the first bit sounds like a Melvin song.

Not the voice so much, though.

Yeah, I babysat him.

My wife's running joke is anytime any Canadian person is on TV, she asks, Did I babysit them?

And I always say, Yeah, I did.

Yeah, Like, it's just a long-running joke.

So every Canadian person, I have babysat them at one point.

I know them all.

Yeah, it's one of those things.

Bear, I've got another tune.

And this is, I made a quick jingle.

This is a terrible song, apparently.

Terrible attempt at singing.

I listen to your podcast while I'm cleaning at work, and they make the time go by easier.

My co-workers often ask why I'm laughing to myself.

Oh, that's good.

I'm glad that somebody's laughing.

This is certainly not me.

No, we don't.

No, it is.

I laugh a lot actually this is from live laughing this is an intro from from tom aka toberhang nine seconds okay we're not gonna be able to talk over this one right are you ready three two one play it's the try for smell back the trifor smell back the trifor smell back smell back

very good very simple in a word

dog

i said it was nine seconds actually it's like three because it's just looped jeremy you know i would i would struggle to do you know how hard it is to strum and sing at the same time?

Like, it's difficult.

I would struggle.

I don't know.

A lot of people can do it.

I actually, that's growing on me.

Play it again.

No,

no, don't play it.

You can play it as much as you can,

right there.

Yeah, that was really good.

Try force mailbag.

Try force mailbag.

Try force mailbag.

Dick out.

Mailbag.

This is

shut up.

This is 30 seconds long.

Brand new jingle.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Three, two, one, play.

Quit your bitching.

It's the mailbag.

Yay.

This is this is more my style.

Free dads.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

It's the mailbag.

And yeah, we're stacking frags.

Gotta grab your clock and lower the mag.

Keep your story short so they don't drag.

Lewis walking around in a door rag.

Hey.

That is the worst thing I've ever heard.

I'm afraid you

sound like you play League of Legends, my friend.

You haven't got the voice for.

You can't do that.

My man's got no flow.

It was funny at all.

I don't know if it's funny.

This was dreadful.

Oh, it's meant to be very he in the email here.

He's hard, you know.

That's hard to do as well.

This is very serious.

This is serious.

You need to.

Do you know what?

I wouldn't be able to do that.

I've changed my mind.

I love it.

I think it's great.

Do you know how hard it is to rap over a sick beat like that?

Yeah, when you're playing it as well.

It's the do-rag, like the whole 90s.

Spring the inner foo-rag.

Free dads.

Free dads sounded like freedom.

Do you know what I mean?

I like that.

I like that bit at the start.

It was almost like it was a, there was something beyond the music, maybe, like a message, you know, of hope.

Yeah.

In this trouble.

tropical

spoke directly to my soul

in the ether.

Because I died.

Good gosh.

Listening to that.

This Friday.

I'm an angel.

See the wings?

Don't miss the new comedy Good Fortune, starring Seth Rogan, Aziz Ansari, and Kiana Reeves.

Critics Rave.

He's haven't sent.

Kinda.

You were very unhelpful.

Good fortune, directed by Aziz Ansari, made it R.

This is from Harry called The Old Street Gash Man Scam.

Right.

Right.

Which sounds like an album.

Is this a song?

No, this is not.

This is a real email.

It sounds like a Bob Dylan record.

Yeah, it does.

The Old Street Gashman scam.

This guy,

Old Street is a place in London, and the Gashman, you'll find out, has a scam related to being covered in cuts.

When I first moved to London, there's a country bunker.

A man approached me who claimed to have just been knocked off his bike.

He was bruised and bleeding profusely all over his arms and legs.

He said he needed cash for a cab to the hospital as an ambulance wouldn't take his bike and it was his only worldly possession.

I gave him a tenor and asked a few questions.

He had semi-plausible answers, but it was, I was suspicious, even as a stupid village yokel.

I started to hail down a cab, but he said his mum had already booked him one, and this is when the penny dropped that it was definitely a scam.

I googled and found out a Reddit thread about him, and apparently the blood is real, it's not makeup, and he surgically maintains cuts and bruises and opens up a gash when he's short on cash.

Crazy guy.

That is insane.

That's nutty.

Yeah, the sad part is red stop for anyone now, even when most are probably just asking for directions.

Look, Harry, you move to London, you get hit by a screening.

Here's the thing.

Here's the thing.

You're just, you're paying for a bit of street theater there, right?

And that's probably worth it.

Like, meeting, like, honestly, a man who, this is some sort of circus shit from the 19 Victorian times.

What was that circus that was around in the 80s and 90s?

It was really extreme.

And there were people who would cut themselves and, like, do all kinds of really extreme shit.

I can't remember what it was called.

Ringling Brothers.

It wasn't Barnum and Bailey.

Yeah, I can't remember.

But

this is a thing.

Like, that definitely was more of a freak show type thing where people would do horrible things to each other, but this even seems like more extreme than that, doesn't it?

I don't know.

It's like you could, what I'm saying is, you know, you're lucky that you saw that, right?

Because, you know,

to put on a show like that, it would normally be very illegal or frowned upon.

You just like to see a bit of human blood flowing for entertainment, don't you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it's good that this stuff is in the shadows, you know, like the sock industry and all this.

I'm wondering, like, oh, God, it's oh, it's just it's best not to think about it.

Interesting.

Honestly, well, let's let's think about some of your bullshit from a previous episode, according to Charlie.

Just me call Lewis out on episode number 302.

He said his dad had a long commute into London, which isn't the case.

I live in Brentwood, which is the next town long from Ongar, and the train takes 40 minutes into Liverpool Street Station.

Ongar would have had a railway station back then when his dad would have commuted to London, or alternatively, he could have driven to Epping Station.

Much love, Charlie.

Damn, Charlie.

So Oh, there you go, Lewis.

What are you looking at about that?

I'm looking it up, and the drive is according to,

well,

he worked in two places.

He worked in Enfield, which is East London, yeah.

Apparently, that takes.

Wait, is he driving or taking the train?

I think he drove.

Oh, well,

so actually, it looks like a 45-minute drive, which isn't as bad as I thought it was.

Maybe he was just staying away.

Can I be real with you?

I think he just came to avoid you.

I think he was just...

How late did he used to get home from work?

Oh, midnight.

He'd roll in at midnight.

Oh, what a community.

He's a whiskey lipstick on his collar.

Oh, another nightmare on the tube said, oh, didn't you drive?

Yeah, well, that's the problem.

Yeah, I tried to drive onto the tube.

Let me tell you, not easy.

They didn't like it.

Yeah.

Question about how the Yoxcast grew and took on new members.

Longer version.

I'll try to keep it short.

How have we recruited new members over the years?

When was the last time we recruited a

asking who?

Asking, let's say, let's say Lulu.

You started off, how did you acquire new people into the Ogscuffs?

Because

we've had a bunch of new people in the last

approach I've had.

In the last 10 years, but

there hasn't been any new people like recently, I would say.

Exactly.

I don't know if that's true.

How recently is recently?

Well, like in the last five years, I feel like.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

I mean, I could be wrong, but I don't think you believe you are completely wrong.

I think the people who've joined most recently are probably Sophie, Miss cupcakes and when how long ago did she i didn't even realize she joined i just did a thing with her the other night she's not well you know the thing is a brand thing the thing is she's not a live brand thing

there's no official there's no official yogs cast thing is right yogs cast back in the day the yogs cast was obviously just me and simon and and and our friends and it was very easy for them to but doncin's been around since the start he used to do like uh it was he used to do like a lot of like behind the scenes stuff for you guys well exactly and the idea was that we'd have this sort of more group family approach to it where we could all sort of capitalize because the thing is if you if we we had a huge audience back in the day because of the way youtube worked and it was largely undeserved and a lot of the people were watching us and didn't like it or didn't understand it or we weren't for them or they wanted to watch something else or someone else and that's why having a broader selection of people um like hat films is quite different in their comedy and and their vibe and so is duncan and so is so is sips you know having a broader group of people allowed our audience to be retained better, right?

Rather than just the, you know, Lewis and Simon fans, there was, there was, it was, it was a, it was beneficial to everyone, right?

Whereas I think the Yotscast these days is not necessarily attracting new audience and hasn't been a draw for a long time.

And in a sense, I'm more concerned that it's okay, think of it like a K-pop band, right?

Like, you know, these K-pop bands, the way they work is they are very manufactured, but also if someone is to join or leave, it's a big celebration and a big, it's a big, the way they actually do it is they are very careful when people leave because it can be very dramatic.

It's like, it's like if someone says, I'm leaving the Yolkscast, that sounds so dramatic.

It's like, oh, why did you fall out?

Like, they can get millions of views from that type of video.

Do you see what I mean?

Like, almost as if, and it's, it feels very negative, right?

And so if you have someone saying, oh, I'm leaving a K-pop band, everyone thinks, oh, what did they do?

You know, and it's very dramatic.

So the way these k-pop bands do it is they say you've graduated congratulations um you're you're going on to better things now we've we've trained you we've had we've had you know you're you're prepared for your solo career um you know it's like and we we're we've done that for you kind of thing it's very strange and different.

And so I've really shied away in the last 10 years from a inviting people to the Yokscast or making a big fuss about people joining the Yokscast or not, partly because we have so many people who are closely associated with us, who do loads of things with us and are in everything and a lot of things we do and are basically like Yogscast members in all but name or officialdom.

So

would you say that I'm in the Yogscast?

I think that, I think, I think, yes.

Well, you're like in the

wider

friendship group.

I think everybody that is

pretty much.

I feel like anyone that, any, anyone that does stuff with us that we record occasionally with or, you know, stream with occasionally could be considered like you know unofficial members there's a lot of people that we are we are friends with on the fringe like potato at whiskey or spiff or dan rt game or uh simon clark you know all these people they contribute to jingle jam yeah they're really close friends of ours we we we love to see them and they love hanging out with us you know i'm personally friends with these people then none of them i think would necessarily even want to say they were in the yogscast do you see what i mean yeah um yeah they're officially not like they you know they're part of other networks or whatever exactly so so someone more recent like sophie you know it's it's hard for me to say you're in the yogscast but i think what that means nowadays is that you are

cooperating with us on on projects and working more closely with us i think i don't think it means what it used to either i mean like when when during like when when we were all doing tech it and stuff like that which i would say was probably like our our our peak um well, certainly the main channels was like uh peak, but like all of us really, like that was

those were like the like the biggest, the biggest times for us or whatever.

It probably meant something different, right?

If you were joining the Augscast, you know, like, oh, I'm officially part of the Augscast, we because we were much bigger then, but like now, I don't know if it's like that big of a deal to be well.

This is it.

I think Sips is a great example of this where Sips sort of isn't really part of the Yorkscast anymore.

Um, I think you, in fact, Pyrrhian, are more closely associated with the Yorkscast than Sips is.

Am I kicked out?

What the hell?

Yeah, you're out.

It's funny, though.

Like, it is like,

it's not that we

it's changed.

Yeah.

Right.

We don't really, the Yorkscast is really a service company.

And if you are part of the Yorkscast, we're usually doing something for you.

Yeah.

And, and, and in, in Sips' case or your case, we're not really, we're not really taking, you're not paying dues.

You're not joining an association.

You know, we don't make anything.

No, we don't, we don't use any of your physical space, we don't use any um

resources, really.

So, there's no real reason for us to get a kickback, which means you're not technically in the old scars, do you see what I mean?

Uh, so it's like, I don't know, it feels like, but you are because you clearly have been frozen, we're like honorary members, I guess.

Now, it's a strange blanket term, and even I'm not sure as the person who runs the fucking thing what the rules are, yeah.

Um, but I think it doesn't matter.

Uh,

so I think it's all great.

I think it's always just been a like a

a kind of like almost like a friendship community thing, right?

Through games.

Like we've always, a lot of us have all played games together and not necessarily all of us together at the same time, but there's little groups of people that overlap with each other.

And, you know, something comes along like, you know, when it wasn't WoW, it was like tons of us played like Marvel Rivals more recently or something.

You know, there's always something that comes around that gets a bunch of people together again.

But you, I tell you what, you have these people on hand ready to go.

I can get in touch with Zylus and be like, oh shit, have you seen this?

Yeah, yeah, let's play and we'll play.

And then like 20 other people play with us for like two weeks.

The Oxcast is like a loose association of avant-garde artists

from around the world who come together to create art using feces,

urine, and other bodily screen shots.

No, so I think it is a complementary group of social people who want to be friends with each other and want to interact.

And I think that you have to be

in order to be in the involved, you really have to want to do it.

And so someone like Sophie coming in very proactively saying, I love your content.

Can I be in it?

I think I could enhance it.

Here's the ways that I can, here's the things I can do.

And just being asking, being interested, turning up, like wanting to do stuff is powerful.

And we do meet new people that we get on with, like No Rolls Bard lately.

You know, they're really great people and they've been collaborating with us on Mystery Quest and

um some of the you know potentially games night you know other overlapping like friends and groups yeah and it's it's not that we're not meeting new people it's just that we're not it's not it's i don't think it's the time to have a clan no uh necessarily it's all it's very i've always found it very organic though you know like people that join you you you you you you're not forced to do anything with anybody you know like i've never been i've never been

to sort of say no do this with this person or whatever you know like uh like we

people join and you just you find each other and you know, you click or whatever.

Like I didn't know hat films before they joined.

I had no idea who they were.

Even after they joined for months, I didn't know who they were.

I didn't watch any of their stuff or whatever.

And then we just met up one day and we just clicked and did a lot of stuff together.

Exactly.

And you haven't probably seen them in real life for about five years.

It's been a while.

Yeah.

We used to

be that.

We have that rapport

every so often.

We can just jump in and pick up where we left off.

And it's like

friends, you know, it's good.

Talking about the Yogsky more generally, I think I always say this, like the reason the Yogsky is still going is because of Jingle Jam.

And like, it's a big driver of why I still care about it and

turn up every day and put the effort in because it is a big annual get-together, which is useful, isn't it?

But also supporting this and helping this family of smaller creators, you know, who are struggling to make a living in an increasingly competitive and changing, you know, industry.

So it's, it's tough for

some of our creators.

And

if we can support them,

great, we will.

And I think that that is something we want to do.

And I don't know,

it's about doing good.

It's about mutual respect and love.

And sometimes writing words in feces.

Yeah.

Sending.

Did I tell you guys one time I was on a school, I was on a trip with the Cub Scouts.

We went up to London for something, probably the Imperial War Museum, because again, like I've said, it's a paramilitary training organization.

We all know that.

Yes.

And this one comes together, especially the one for 18 years.

You got to start them young.

You got to start them young.

So as we're coming up, we stop at a service station.

We all go into the toilet and someone has written shit in shit on the wall.

And the whole room stank, I'd never seen anything like it.

And it was genuinely quite scary to know that there were people, adults out there in the world who would write the word shit in their own shit on a wall in a public bathroom.

It's pretty crazy.

Let's move it on.

This is from Jared.

I was listening to a recent Trifoise, and I think it's great.

We're not going to dwell on that moment.

I think it's great that you're teaching your kids to be street smart and independent in big cities.

Like you learned.

See, that was you learned to be street smart and independent from that moment.

That opened up your eyes and took off the

blinkers of childhood and the innocence.

It all went away on that trip to the Imperial War Museum.

I know.

It really did.

I saw some negative comments.

That's when you lost your hair.

About the fact that I let my kids go into into town and stuff by themselves um i don't know what you think being a parent is but if you want to follow your kids around forever they will never be able to do anything on their own no ever and there was

i i mean i assume you're not a parent if you're making that comment uh keep your fucking ignorance to yourself

how about that this mailback goes both ways oh yeah this is the person who wrote to the mailback

i don't know

why list of ways you can go fuck yourself number one i think it's safe to assume that maybe they don't have kids, but on the other hand, there are a lot of insane parents out there with kids, and you just think

this lad is fine.

Jared is fine.

All right, I'm just saying.

This other person I saw.

Anyway, Jared recommends a book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker, which sounds like a horror novel, but it's not.

It's about interpreting your body's natural intuition, analyzing threats, and managing stressful and high-risk situations.

And do you remember?

I was talking about the fact that my daughter

went to pick up a parcel.

Do you remember?

And it was down a shady alleyway.

Oh, yeah.

And every every fiber of her being was saying, don't go down the alleyway.

But because of social norms and the fear of embarrassing herself or the person telling her to go down the alleyway, she went down the alleyway, which she 100% should not have done.

This, by the way, was on the way home from school, which is not a long walk.

And she was with a mate and it was at like a regular shop.

And

she ignored her instincts.

And I told her very clearly, the next time this happens, listen to your instincts.

They know best.

And

those hairs go up and you think, oh, something feels wrong.

Trust that vibe.

Absolutely trust that.

Trust yourself 100%.

I think in everything as well.

If you're wrong, you're wrong.

And I'll come back with you and we'll pick up the parcel together.

It's not a problem.

But don't just think, oh, I don't want to embarrass anybody or I don't want to put him out.

I think you end up kicking yourself a lot more.

if you go against your instincts than if you trust them and are and it and it doesn't work out do you know what i mean yeah so yeah definitely trust your instincts always i have i have an optician's appointment soon so can we do one more email?

Yes.

Yes.

I would love to hear your guys' opinions on this.

This is just a simple one from Josh.

We often talk about how lucky we are to be in a position that we're in and the job that we do because obviously it's a lot of fun and everything.

But he wants to know if there is one downside or struggle that we face in relation to our job other than ripped dips, as he puts it.

So think of a downside to our job that you're like, that's actually the worst part of it.

For me, it's more like a self-discipline thing, but I just don't exercise as much as I should.

I should do a little bit at least and i don't because i know insane it's so easy to become complacent in uh in this situation because if i was if i was unemployed i would just sit around and game all day and right now that i can make money sitting around gaming all day i just sit around and game all day uh

very rarely will i force myself to walk further than i absolutely need to like i walk my kids to and from school and i i do enough around like the house and stuff like that but it's it's not nearly enough it's not exercise Yeah, I really should just be going for a long walk every day or

going to the gym or seeing something.

But yeah, but here's the thing.

I think a lot of people fail to realize that when you love your job and you work from home and it's fun, why would you just like when you go to the office, say, you fucking hate having to go to the office.

You hate having to go to work.

Going to the gym is a way to relieve tension and something to do on the way to or from work that is yours.

That's like take time that you're saying, no, no, no, I'm not just going to spend my entire day commuting to, working at, and then commuting from somewhere.

I've also got stuff I do while I'm there for me.

And one of those things is I go to the gym and I go maybe with some colleagues or my friends.

And that's a way to do something that is reclaiming some of that time for yourself.

I woke up this morning at 9:57, sat down, recorded this podcast.

Then I'm going to go to the opticians.

Then I have nothing to do for the rest of the day.

And I still know that I'm not going to do the smart thing and do some exercise.

I'm just, I'm just, it's just too easy to be lazy.

Yeah.

We need, I need a harder life.

Yeah.

I'm cut off one of my one of my fingers.

I'll cut that off.

Self-discipline is a massive problem.

We, we are exactly the same as many people in this era where we are constantly being entertained all the time.

And my partner's noticed this and sort of complained about it a bit in that I can't, I'm, have to be doing something all the time.

I go on a walk and I have to have a podcast on.

I go, I'm sitting at home on the sofa, like, and I have to have the telly on or I have to be on my phone, you know, and she's telling me about a day and suddenly like you know I'm I don't even realize I'm doing it but I'm like on my phone and she's like what are you doing

I'm I'm so sorry like you know it's like I've always had this like thing with with time as well and I remember he even having this when I was when I was younger I used to play a lot of uh I used to play a lot of Diablo 2

when it came out and around the time it came out I was just starting college and stuff And I remember like I'd wake up in the morning, I'd be like, okay, I have like six hours where I can play Diablo 2 before I have to go.

And like, but like, I'd be like, oh, is that enough time?

Like, in my, this in my mind, you know, I'm thinking like, oh, maybe that's not enough time.

I, like, I need some more, whatever.

And like, and now as a, and, as like a much older adult, I still have, have thoughts like that, but like, it'll be around stupid stuff.

Like, I'll be like,

you know, oh, I got to pay my social security.

Oh, fuck, I'm going to need to take like a whole morning to, to really like do that.

And it takes, it takes like two minutes to do.

Like, it's so stupid.

But like, in my mind, I'll be like, oh, fuck, it's going to take like forever.

It's going to take way more time or whatever.

Cause it's something I don't want to do.

But then if there's something I want to do, I'm like, I'm like really sort of like precious about the time.

Even if I have like tons of time to do it, I'll be like, oh, fuck that.

Maybe that's not enough time or whatever.

I don't know.

Maybe there's like a...

It's like a very slight, like, I don't know.

Not, not, not like OCD, but like, I don't know.

There's got, there's, there's, there's some sort of like weird

anxiety around timings or something like that in

my mind.

I don't know.

It's weird.

We all have a little bit of that, right?

And I think as creators, I think there's obviously,

there is obviously, I think it's different for guys and girls.

I think girls struggle with the idea more that there's some being famous is

a peril in itself, right?

With creepy people out there.

And, you know, there's, you're more likely to run into, you know, it's a very low chance that you'll run into any trouble, but you're more likely than just a an average person off the street but then again who knows like you know you if you work in a cafe maybe that you have a stalker you know it's it's it's different for women too not like it's not immune yeah but it's it's very different for women um but i i think also like just there's so many little

things about this thing industry that that people know from doing it will will bother them and it's and it's i don't know it's just um it's not as we can we could we it's hard to complain about but yeah i don't i don't really really have any any like complaints It's just you you you're you you're you're in your you're you're in your moment, right?

You have your pyramid of needs and stuff.

So like I'll complain about things that other people will say oh my god, why is he complaining about that?

But like, you know, my my day-to-day, especially if I don't stop and really think about it.

My socks didn't arrive.

Yeah.

If I, how am I supposed to jerk off today?

You know, if I, if I'm just like in a, that's my afternoon ruin.

If I'm in a flow and I'm not thinking about anything other than what I I need to do or my immediate sort of what I'm doing or whatever, then you know, I probably will complain about really stupid things that other people think are stupid.

People that, you know, are at different points in their lives or whatever, careers or whatever would complain about different things.

Can we just have their own?

Can we stop?

Yeah.

Sorry, that's enough.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry, go get your eyes, go get your eyes tested.

We will see you guys next time.

Thanks so much.

Thank you, everyone.

We love you.