Cerevisia Hodie, Ius Cras | Triforce Mailbag #64

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Speaker 3 Hello, chums, and welcome back to another mailbag special.

Speaker 4 It's the mailbag.

Speaker 1 I can't believe it. It's another mailbag special.
Wow.

Speaker 3 The mailbag here

Speaker 3 once again.

Speaker 3 And I got a tune for you. This is from your boy Rory.

Speaker 3 This is a good one. Prepare yourselves for a workofart.mp3 is the right.

Speaker 1 It's 45 seconds long.

Speaker 3 It's worth it. Are you guys ready? We're going to listen to this in three, two, one, play.

Speaker 1 Hey, what everyone?

Speaker 1 It's the mailbag, of course.

Speaker 1 Welcome back.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start in a second, okay?

Speaker 1 Let's begin. Settle down.
Mailback time, and I'm feeling fine.

Speaker 1 What a day. It's been quite sublime.
They're gonna read your letters.

Speaker 1 Hey, I'm already feeling better.

Speaker 1 Got the bold one, the Canadian, and the Lebanese child.

Speaker 1 Don't worry, no opinion around here is too mild. And we're gonna deport them soon.

Speaker 1 Ice is coming round this afternoon. This is precisely my tempo.
Time to stop now. Here we go now.

Speaker 1 I love that one so much.

Speaker 1 Oh, the ending is just such a cherry on top. That's so good.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Thank you.
Congratulations.

Speaker 1 That's what a great third jingle.

Speaker 3 I'm going to say it is the best one yet.

Speaker 1 That's the best one. Yeah.
What a chuckle as well. Man, I needed that this morning.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 Really good.

Speaker 1 Really good. All right.

Speaker 3 Let's get into it. This is from Sam.
A defense of Greggs from a Greggs manager.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 There I was on my lunch break, having woken up at 4 a.m., happily listening to my favorite podcast as I munch on my sausage roll and pulled pork burger combo. Yes, we do those now.

Speaker 1 No, they aren't any good.

Speaker 3 Yeah, dude, he's going to fucking get up and manage the Greggs. Anyway, he's a manager.
He says pulled pork pork burger combo is not the best. So fair play.
When to my surprise, Mr.

Speaker 3 Lewis Brindley, of a yox cast, as we all know, sought fit to slander my profession over the price of a vegan sausage roll. Well, I beseech thee, Lewis, and rebuke as thus.

Speaker 3 My Greggs in Essex shines as a beacon on the hill, serving the community from 6 a.m. until 8 p.m.
every day without fail.

Speaker 3 Thousands each year flock to the Temple of the Sausage Roll for a £3 breakfast or a cheeky steak bake and leave with smiles on their faces.

Speaker 3 It is a community hub which people rely on for social engagement in their older age. Life without Greggs for many would be hollow and meaningless.

Speaker 3 If you would like to know more about what it's like to manage a Greggs with a multi-million pound turnover each year, I'd be happy to reveal some of their secrets.

Speaker 3 Edward Snowden has nothing compared to what I have. Yours in lunch, Sam.
Sam, do please let us know. And also,

Speaker 3 hey, we should get a Greggs sponsorship up in here, Sam.

Speaker 1 Talk to him.

Speaker 1 get him on the blower multi-million pound turnover per year what are you doing you we talk about it all the time pay us man you may think you're the heart of the community but you are you're you're you are actually causing you're a scourgerosis of people's hearts in your community it's just a sausage roll you're killing everyone you're killing everyone with your fancy wares It's just a sausage roll.

Speaker 1 What's wrong with that?

Speaker 3 You were the one having a pop at Greg's in a previous episode.

Speaker 1 You probably don't even remember.

Speaker 5 Well, you know, it's ch very cheap.

Speaker 1 You are apparently complaining about the price.

Speaker 5 You're easy, it's a multi-million pound. What do you mean? I was the materials are very cheap.
The stuff that is made of.

Speaker 1 But the pastry.

Speaker 5 Why do you think it's a multi-million turnover?

Speaker 3 Because it's the best.

Speaker 1 How about that?

Speaker 3 You're not allowed to have a success anymore in this country.

Speaker 1 You're just running this country, Dad.

Speaker 3 Why would you hate Britain, mate?

Speaker 5 That's true. What else do you want to do?

Speaker 1 Why would you hate Britain?

Speaker 1 what else do we have in that space what's the competitor in that space spoons you got your gregs you got your spoons what about a lot like uh some local places there's got to be some local uh

Speaker 1 crazy spoon animals

Speaker 1 it's got to be owned by a big corporation and make a ton of money right you got costa which could kind of uh provide some of the owned by coca-cola amenities

Speaker 3 right i think they bought costa coffee was right starbucks

Speaker 3 about someone who used to, I think, used to work at Acosta and then they came back. Might have been a Reddit poster actually.
They worked at Costa like years ago and they really loved it.

Speaker 3 Went off and did something else, came back. And now that Coca-Cola owns it, it's dog shit.
And the prices are really high and everything. I'm pretty sure that's cost.

Speaker 1 Cafe Nero. What about Cafe Nero?

Speaker 3 I just think they're all wank, in all honesty.

Speaker 5 Checking that's like a nominative determinism.

Speaker 1 Where would you go to get a coffee if you're out and about in London?

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 3 I'll answer that. What is nominative determinism? Cafe Neil.

Speaker 1 But if you open a shop called Coca-Cola, Costa Coffee, you're going to be a coffee shop.

Speaker 3 Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 5 No, you're going to be bought by Coca-Cola.

Speaker 1 Oh, because it's Coco.

Speaker 1 Costa Coffee.

Speaker 1 Coca-Cola. I think it's a little bit of an idiotic management Coca-Cola.
Oh, this is a good fit for us.

Speaker 5 And they're not quite sure why.

Speaker 1 I can't tell why. Well, I think this is just a good fit for us.
You know something about it.

Speaker 1 They're a bit like Coca-Cola. You never hear about them, but they're clearly still doing stuff behind the scenes.
You never

Speaker 1 No, you don't.

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 I don't ever hear, like, I don't even, like, I can't even remember the last time I saw a Coke advert. Like, I don't know what they're, what are they doing?

Speaker 3 Making bank.

Speaker 1 Well, I know they are, but, like, I think that, I think it's just, uh, they've, they've just got the right to now. Like, like, I, they, they don't seem to try very hard anymore, you know?

Speaker 1 Like, I think they've just got so much money, they could just buy out all the competition immediately, um, and then just make even more money.

Speaker 1 But, like, I, like, I don't, they don't seem to, I guess, Diet Coke still advertises quite a bit, doesn't it?

Speaker 5 I always think of Warren Buffett when I think of Coke because he is one of these people who's like, everyone's always gonna need Coke.

Speaker 1 Coca-Cola or French, tomato, petcha.

Speaker 5 Everyone's always gonna need those things.

Speaker 1 And he's very like

Speaker 1 the mouse full of fucking acorns or marbles voices. Marble mouths.

Speaker 1 Mr. Senator, if I may begin here by saying everybody's gonna need Coke, everybody's always gonna need Coke.
It's not going anywhere.

Speaker 1 It's not going anywhere.

Speaker 3 And I say to this honourable gentleman from Essex South that there's Coca-Cola or everybody needs a Coca-Cola.

Speaker 3 Mr. President.

Speaker 5 Warren Buffett, he's done

Speaker 5 apparently all sat in cash at the moment.

Speaker 1 He's like waiting for you.

Speaker 1 He's got his multiple billions in shoeboxes underneath his bed.

Speaker 3 He's just drinking Coca-Cola and kicking it by money.

Speaker 1 money.

Speaker 1 Just drinking a Coca-Cola. Chug-a-lug-a-long.
Chug-a-la-la-la. Coca-Cola.

Speaker 1 Coca-Cola. I'm making my money.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, says Lewis.

Speaker 3 Man, right, that means next.

Speaker 1 I think when you have an impossible amount of money, though, it's so easy to make more money. I don't even know why it's even fun anymore at that point.
Yeah, why, Matt?

Speaker 5 He has an impossible amount of money just at

Speaker 1 his beck and call. Why doesn't anybody do an armed robbery? Maybe fucking 400 million or something.
It's insane.

Speaker 1 If he's out there saying, I only have cash now, fucking hell. It can't be that hard to find that much.

Speaker 1 He's got a couple of 18-wheeler trucks outside his house just full of money.

Speaker 3 Do you think he's like asking to be robbed just because he's run out of things to do?

Speaker 1 So he's just liquidating everybody. Every time he gets off, robbing me.
He's just like, yeah,

Speaker 1 here at my address that you can see on the screen below, I have all my cash boxed up. It's in trucks.
They're full of cash.

Speaker 1 The last great

Speaker 1 hurdle for a rich man is being broke, just being robbed blind. I've got nothing left.
Oh, yeah, I'm out of money. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's how Warren gets up.

Speaker 5 He did a $1.3 billion investment between 1988 and 1994, right? And it's now worth over 27 billion or whatever but yeah he's on on a yearly basis it's yielded 63

Speaker 5 what over the 40

Speaker 1 and and the thing is this guy i think he just had a normal life up until he was about in his 60s and then all of a sudden made a shit ton of money like well he ran a buffet he ran a big big chinese i don't think he was always i think he was like later in life very never heard of a buffet sips that's why i'm having a

Speaker 1 buffet okay but yeah he was resting on his good buffet

Speaker 1 Hut buffet now. I don't have access to one over here.
I used to. Well, he sold it off.

Speaker 5 He got a cut of that. He sold it off.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 3 But he wanted them to be called Buffetts. And then everybody started calling them Buffets because they thought it sounded fancier.
That's why he got out of the Buffett business.

Speaker 1 Who was the actor that played Dick Tracy in the movie Dick Tracy?

Speaker 3 That was.

Speaker 3 I know exactly who that was. I can tell you in one second.
Without Googling, it was that guy. He was a handsome guy, Warren Beatty.

Speaker 1 Warren Beatty. Yeah, I always get Warren Beattie and Warren Buffett mixed up.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't know why. It's one of those things, you know.
This is from Matthew, a Yorkshireman.

Speaker 3 I've got to read this one. This is, he's very angry with me.
He said, if you read this out, please attempt it in your best Yorkshire accent. All right, let me take this polo mint out of my mouth.

Speaker 3 Hello, Lewis Sipson, that soft-boiled southern bustard Pyrian so-called flax. Sean Bean didn't die 25 times for some southern shite to tell me how to drink my tea and what to dunk in it.

Speaker 3 Yorkshire tea needs to take a leaf out of Yorkie's book from 2000s, only its slogan needs to be not for southern Nancy's. It's our tea, we'll drink it how we want.

Speaker 3 I suggest you stick to drinking Bournemouth tea. However, I can only assume that there's a street name for heroin, judging from how Bournemouth is described.

Speaker 1 Hope you and your families are well. Yours sincerely, Matthew, a Yorkshireman.
Thank you, Matthew. Thank you.
Angry, apparently, I said dunking biscuits in tea is shit. I think it's charmish.

Speaker 3 And he's angry.

Speaker 1 I think he speaks for all northerners there, which is fair enough. Oh, I loved it.

Speaker 5 More of that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, keep it coming. I get a lot of those just calling me names, but if it's funny, I think it's good.
Just be funny.

Speaker 1 Don't just call me.

Speaker 5 Period Stuart accent just tickles me.

Speaker 1 Tickles me.

Speaker 5 Yes. I love it.
He's so good. Right.

Speaker 3 Bless you. I mean, you know what I mean? I'm here.

Speaker 1 I know. It's like you're talking about it.
It's my day. I'm talking about it like he's passed away.

Speaker 3 I'm dead.

Speaker 1 He was

Speaker 3 such a fun guy when he was with us.

Speaker 1 God,

Speaker 1 he used to make me laugh a lot.

Speaker 5 God, God bless us. I think, I tell you what, though, I've got to admit, like, those,

Speaker 5 I know, doing a Yorkshire accent is probably not going to be allowed much longer because it'll be some sort of offensive stereotype to our

Speaker 1 CK.

Speaker 1 He's one of the few where it'll be like that.

Speaker 3 Enjoy New Yorkshire accents these days.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 3 This is a live emailing in about attempting to thank people for their service right so i think we made fun of the american thank you for your service thank you for service they'll just say to everybody yeah yeah yeah uh so this is from september um we were making fun of americans saying thank you for your service to people in the military yes got me thinking how no one and i mean no one does it in finland despite every able-bodied bodied male and willing female having to do conscription service very common scandinavian thing you get to a certain age you have to do like a year or two's military service No one thanks anyone for their service in Finnish.

Speaker 3 No, must be a cultural difference. Serving in the defense force is such a core part of society, it's simply accepted without fanfare, although no less respected.

Speaker 3 If you'd like to know more about the Finnish conscription service, hit me up. Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 I think France has like a national service as well that you need to do. It's like a year or something,

Speaker 1 or maybe they used to.

Speaker 1 But recently enough, I think they still had it where it was. In Sweden? No, France.
Sorry, France. Or France.
Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some places have them, some places don't. But yeah, America is the only place I know of where you're thanked for your service.

Speaker 3 I think it's very performative, and I think it's a way of being like some people started doing this thank you for your service thing.

Speaker 3 I think the reverence towards the military and law enforcement, which is a relatively new thing, people didn't used to thank you for your service.

Speaker 3 I think it's a relatively new thing, probably because they had all these wars. Iraq, Afghanistan, a lot of you.

Speaker 1 like okay i feel like if i was a veteran and i'd been to war and i'd come back and somebody was like tripping over themselves to thank me for my service i would find that i would feel mortified that somebody's done that

Speaker 1 i think i would so embarrassing i don't know if that's just because i've lived in the uk a long time and people there's there's like a lot a lot more sort of like a of a a reservedness to to british people yeah we are like that um but i would find i would be mortified by that i would find it so utterly embarrassing if somebody I think it is worth drawing a line here, though, under what is...

Speaker 5 First of all, you see this all the time in other countries, too, mostly with pro-gamers going into military service in South Korea or something.

Speaker 5 You know, they disappear off the pro seam to do their voluntary national service. And obviously, some countries have replaced it with other things.
You can do things rather than serving in the army.

Speaker 5 But I think these are not kids being sent. into a war zone who have chosen to do it.

Speaker 5 That's very different to people who voluntarily sign up to the military and go and fight in Afghanistan or something and, you know, have their comrades die.

Speaker 5 You know, I think that they are very different. And I think also,

Speaker 5 you know, you like you said before, it does seem like a new thing because certainly coming back from Vietnam, I know, you know, that was a very iconic.

Speaker 5 You know, you've seen it so many times in movies, but, you know, people were so sick of that war and thought the war was awful that the soldiers were somehow, even though they were conscripted, but it wasn't a lot of their choice to go out there.

Speaker 5 You know, it was a lottery. They were just plucked off the street basically, or got out of it by, you know, like Donald Trump.

Speaker 5 But I feel like people felt like the population felt like they were somehow complicit.

Speaker 5 And I think they felt like they're very shunned when they came back, especially by everyone, by the government not giving them enough support for their injuries and, you know, all these, all these problems, right?

Speaker 5 And so I think there is this idea that it is a selfless act.

Speaker 5 And I don't know, like these days, I think it is more,

Speaker 5 it makes sense to thank people for their service. And I feel like if I met a British serviceman who had been fighting in

Speaker 5 exactly, you know, in these places, you know, if someone, if there's volunteer British soldiers fighting in Ukraine, you know, and dying.

Speaker 5 And I think I would be very tempted to say thank you for your service.

Speaker 5 But I think that would be, I wouldn't want to say that, those words particularly, because it does feel almost like an American, you know, platitude. Like you said, P-Flex, like a performative act.

Speaker 5 Like, you know,

Speaker 3 look, if you actually give a shit about veterans, start voting for people that give a shit about veterans.

Speaker 1 Stop voting for people.

Speaker 3 Stop voting for people that don't give a shit. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because all of these people that come home suffer greatly, and all the fucking money in the world is sucked out of veterans associations every year, taking less and less and less and less.

Speaker 3 And I think that the guys you're voting for don't look after the fucking veterans that you're meant to thank for their service as if, oh, thank you for your service. There, I've done my bit now.

Speaker 3 No, you fucking haven't. Look after these people.
They have, they have, they need a lot of help a lot of the time, and you're doing fuck all for them.

Speaker 3 So, I'm saying, if you want to thank them for service, put your fucking money where your mouth is.

Speaker 5 Who are we? I don't even know how bad the situation is in the UK. I've got it with me.
I don't know any serviceman, ex-serviceman, or current serviceman.

Speaker 1 We've got a small military.

Speaker 3 Also,

Speaker 3 first of all, America's military is huge. Second of all, a lot more people go into the military to get through college.

Speaker 3 Because if you work, if you serve in the armed forces for, is it four or five years or whatever, you get a free college scholarship that's a military scholarship.

Speaker 3 So the military will then pay for your university education, but you have to put your life up for them for their use, first of all.

Speaker 3 So you essentially have to say, I will give my life for my country, potentially.

Speaker 1 uh and in doing so i will then get free college that's the devil's bargain that you have to make and i think sometimes you might be lucky um and avoid being shipped off to a friendly

Speaker 1 not frontline like no but i mean the thing is if you think about like in the past 25 30 40 years there's there's there's been loads of conflicts that they have been shipped off to like it's it's it's hard to avoid i mean even yeah you're gonna even even the iraq war there was still americans there like this year i think they i think they've only they've only just started really really pulling out of iraq fully like in like last month Like they've been there that whole time.

Speaker 1 Not like tons of them, obviously, but like they do have like some bases that are that are still staffed and they're still doing bits and pieces over there.

Speaker 1 But that's crazy to think that you like, you know, in this day and age, you could enlist

Speaker 1 in the army or whatever, and you could potentially be there. Like most people probably just thought, oh, yeah, you know, when Bush did the mission accomplished thing, that was it.
It was done.

Speaker 1 Everybody came home. But like, no, they were there.
And same with Afghanistan. Like like 20 years, man, they were there.

Speaker 1 Afghanistan was crazy, they were there, it's just it's insanity. The sickest thing about the whole thing is that these are such young people, as well.

Speaker 1 You know, these are, these are people that are so young sometimes that they, that, you know, they haven't even had a taste of being an adult yet.

Speaker 5 You know, like, they that's the only people you can sucker in to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, the kids are so physically able and everything, but it's so sad because, you know, once once the death stole, the death toll starts going up, and you think these are, these are just young people that had everything in front of them, and they're dead now.

Speaker 1 A lot of the time,

Speaker 1 so fucking unnecessary.

Speaker 1 It's terrible. It's terrible.

Speaker 1 Let's cheer ourselves.

Speaker 1 Thank you for your service. Thank you for your time.

Speaker 1 Thank you for your service.

Speaker 3 Thank you for your email. I'll say that much.

Speaker 3 Thank you for your email and your service. This is Student Housing Horror Stories.
This is quite a good one. They're a construction manager for student housing.

Speaker 3 Whatever that does is it's large-scale renovations. So it's an apartment block with 200 students and they do some kind of

Speaker 3 renovations within that. I don't know quite what the job is, but here we go.
The city council rang us up, dead serious, about a rash of disappearing geese from the pond outside one of our buildings.

Speaker 3 We went on a little investigation, door to door, neighbor to neighbor, until we landed at one student's flat.

Speaker 3 She opened the door, and there they were, two live geese wandering around her bedroom like they owned the place.

Speaker 3 Upon further inspection, a shelf of carefully arranged goose skulls and a freezer full of goose meat. So, this

Speaker 3 student had been getting the geese into her house, killing them and eating them.

Speaker 3 Jeez. Goose meat, I guess, is pretty delicious, but you can't just steal geese.
That's not cool.

Speaker 1 Here are some other ones.

Speaker 3 Air-fried mice. A mouse somehow got under an air fryer basket.
Just it was under the basket. It was never cleaned.

Speaker 3 So this little tiny mouse was reheated in the air fryer many, many times before someone figured it out.

Speaker 3 A soup kettle. My old housemates once used the electric kettle to make tomato soup.
It's pretty terrible.

Speaker 3 A student house once made an inside pool. They wanted their entire kitchen to be a pool and therefore sealed all the cracks.

Speaker 3 And when they filled it up, it took about five minutes before the electricity went out and all the kitchens beneath theirs was slowly turned into a waterfall. That is insane.

Speaker 3 The accidental hot box, a student built a weed farm in their room and hooked its ventilation into the building's main system. Next morning, 100 people woke up wondering why they felt amazing.

Speaker 1 And the mouse tea incident.

Speaker 3 In one shared house, a mouse apparently drowned in the communal cattle because they filled it through the spout. No one saw it.

Speaker 3 Weeks later, 18 students were sharing unexplained stomachaches until someone finally peered inside. My God.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 That's horrendous. I don't know what

Speaker 5 student house story, isn't it?

Speaker 1 This is large-scale renovations.

Speaker 3 Does that mean like rather than renovations, does that mean like building maintenance? This sounds like maintenance, not like renovations to me is you go into a house that's abandoned and fix it up.

Speaker 3 Either way, whatever.

Speaker 1 Great stories. Great stories.

Speaker 5 wow i mean that is so typical though of the student lifestyle right the living in a massive shared house or shared thing or having a shared kitchen between 20 of you and a big kettle thing that no one actually ever cleans properly they just fill it up from the spout you know it's just

Speaker 5 you could totally see how that could happen and oh that's that is ridiculous that's the kind of thing students would do as well the swimming pool in the kitchen like yeah i mean it's just like oh this will be fine kids just they're just kids they are children these are the guys going to fight our wars.

Speaker 3 I mean that's the thing my eldest is is gonna be 16

Speaker 3 pool in Afghanistan mate get on the plane we're shipping

Speaker 1 mate

Speaker 3 This is

Speaker 3 one a quick email from Ben I thought you'd appreciate

Speaker 3 Greg's on the military base over yes I've done the maths and your total time in Dota 2 equates to one and a half years.

Speaker 1 Good God.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's a lot.

Speaker 3 This is from Gabby. When I discovered Oxygen Not Included, I made 100 hours in like a week.
I was completely obsessed with the game. So obsessed that I forgot to water my bonsai and it died.

Speaker 3 I felt really bad about it, but then I moved on and made another 200 hours in the game. Did you guys ever get so obsessed with a game that you did something you regretted?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 5 I think, look, we've all, and even today, sometimes a game will come out and I'll be playing it and I'll be doing stuff and I will like not eat.

Speaker 5 I will like not, you know, I will, I will need the loo, but I will not go until I'm really desperate. Do you know what I mean? Or I'll be up until like 4 a.m.

Speaker 5 and I won't realize, you know, even now, like when I'm, I feel like I should be more grown up. My partner went away for a week and I didn't water any of the plants.

Speaker 1 I just forgot.

Speaker 5 And she came back and she was like, why are all my plants so droopy? And I was like, I, I'm so sorry. I just didn't think to do it.

Speaker 1 I was just playing games

Speaker 5 all away doing stuff.

Speaker 5 And so, no, we absolutely do do these things.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 5 I just remember, I always remember when we were in our first Yogg's office and the new WoW expansion came out.

Speaker 5 And Duncan just stayed overnight playing WoW in the office, like literally all night long in the office.

Speaker 1 And I brought him like

Speaker 1 breakfast.

Speaker 5 I brought him dinner.

Speaker 1 Would you bring him a little Greg sausage roll?

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Morning, Duncan.

Speaker 3 I see you've had a hard night playing games.

Speaker 1 I brought you a lovely sausage roll.

Speaker 1 Oh, thank you, Lewis.

Speaker 3 I do love a sausage roll.

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Speaker 3 So, this is about quantum entanglement and quantum uh goodness.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna get whiplash.

Speaker 3 We talked about it a couple of weeks ago. Uh, you were wrong,

Speaker 3 I've had about 10 emails saying that I was right and you were wrong about quantum entanglement, although I still don't remember what it is.

Speaker 3 Yes, apparently, so um, it's true, you were you were correct, Pyrrhian. And then basically, the implication is that that doesn't happen very often, uh, but on this occasion, I was correct.

Speaker 3 It's true that quantum entanglement does not involve a particle being in two places at once.

Speaker 3 What Lewis was likely referring to was superposition, where a particle can be in two places at once until a process known as decoherence, after which the wave function branches into separate worlds or collapses into a single world.

Speaker 3 This is what leaves Schrödinger's cat to being both alive and dead at the same time. So

Speaker 3 I believe that the whole point is we can know the velocity of a particle or its position, but we can't know both, something like that.

Speaker 3 up to the point where you specifically identify where something is, it exists in multiple places as a wave function. And then once you actually figure out where it is, that's it.

Speaker 3 It's It's sort of fixed decoherence. That's its point and space.

Speaker 3 I think that the reason that that's something that we can talk about is because of that very famous experiment, the double slit experiment. Have you guys heard of this?

Speaker 5 Yeah. I think it's pretty much, it's pretty much GCSE physics, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Okay, fair enough.

Speaker 3 This is a car wash disaster. This is from Sky.

Speaker 3 I thought I would share a story of my immense stupidity. I was listening to the podcast while driving home from work and construction next door had gotten dust all over my car.

Speaker 3 I saw an automatic car wash on my way home, so I I stopped in to get it cleaned. After letting it run for a while, I noticed one of the cycles listed to the side of the machine said bottom blaster.

Speaker 3 Thinking this was hilarious, I picked up my phone to take a picture, but the water droplets on my window were messing with the focus.

Speaker 3 In a moment of unrivaled absent-mindedness, I rolled the window down slightly to get the picture.

Speaker 3 Within the next moment, I was pelted with what felt like a fire hose, shooting soapy water into my eyes and mouth.

Speaker 3 My phone flew out of my hand across the car, and while I cried and attempted to rub the soap out of my eyes, it was like Lewis was right there next to me, screaming about a Star Trek board game, because he had the podcast.

Speaker 1 So, there you go.

Speaker 3 I'm a big Uma Masume fan.

Speaker 1 Ask Sips who his favorite horse is.

Speaker 1 I really liked,

Speaker 1 what was her name now? I haven't played it in a little while.

Speaker 1 Maruzenski. I liked, I liked Maruzensky.
Didn't she die? Maruzensky?

Speaker 5 Didn't she get put down?

Speaker 1 No, that was a different horse.

Speaker 1 I can't believe that. One of the horses

Speaker 5 died and had to be put down.

Speaker 1 I know. Yes, because they're based on real horses.

Speaker 1 Are you which I feel

Speaker 5 I didn't realize, but it's really sad.

Speaker 1 It is sad, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. It was uh, and like on on Reddit, there was like

Speaker 5 rest in peace,

Speaker 1 rest in peace, my favorite horse. You were the best, God.

Speaker 5 You were like a dead animal, you galloped like no other.

Speaker 1 I want to shower you in sugar lumps in heaven and ride you over fences and polish your hooves every single day.

Speaker 3 And take you to the horse dentist. Yeah, gosh, it would have been something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was sad. It was sad.
I can't remember the horse, though. But

Speaker 1 yeah, one of the biggest things.

Speaker 5 This fucking podcast is like browsing TikTok. We are just flitting from back and forth.

Speaker 1 I can't tell people to email in. The giveaway that the horse was about to die was that it didn't shit for a while.
It wasn't unable to shit.

Speaker 5 Oh, that's something to pay attention to about your pets.

Speaker 3 You know, one time we were going through the car wash. It was me and Mrs.
F and the kids, both kids were in the back. They were quite little at the time.

Speaker 3 And we didn't know that we'd left one of the rear windows windows was open a little bit and as soon as it started water was just spraying in all over my eldest who was screaming and everyone else was just laughing their heads off because all this soap and water was just shooting in we thought it was very funny

Speaker 3 um but uh but they did not so yeah and every time we go through the the car wash the kids like do you remember that time i was like yeah it was really funny

Speaker 1 it wasn't funny it was horrible anyway yeah yeah there's a lot of every family's got stories like that right where everybody thinks it's funny except for the one person who didn't didn't find it funny.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 5 And still doesn't find it funny 10 years later.

Speaker 1 Still doesn't find it funny, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I am so full of cold, by the way.
Sorry if I sound

Speaker 1 snuggling a lot. Definitely a lot of snotty as well.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what happens. It's that time of year.

Speaker 1 It's going round. That's what they always say.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 The kids go back to school.

Speaker 1 And weather change.

Speaker 5 And you're more indoors because the weather's changed. And so diseases spread around more.
Yeah. And yeah, oh my God, it's been going around.
I was really, I was really snotty and gross last week.

Speaker 3 Everyone that I know was really sick last week. I managed to escape somehow, Touchwood.
This is from

Speaker 3 actually, maybe I'm not going to read their name out because they haven't signed off. I hope this email finds you well.
Thank you so much. I'd like to stay anonymous if that's right.
There you go.

Speaker 3 I knew something was up. I've been listening to the podcast for about a year now on my drive to and from work.

Speaker 3 I'm a 28-year-old facilities manager for one of the UK's largest charity organizations. Recently, I've been feeling a little Groundhog Day-esque, by which which I feel stuck in a loop.

Speaker 3 Come home, eat food, go to bed, start it all over again. Not to say I'm unhappy.
I have a family, roof over my head, stable job. I feel like something is missing.

Speaker 3 I am a carpenter by hobby, so I do have things to break up the days and break up the boredom, and it still feels this way. Have you guys ever experienced this?

Speaker 1 That sort of that feeling of a general enui, of being like a general, like a like a mundaneness.

Speaker 1 You're not, you're not actually, you don't feel unhappy, but you're just kind of going through the motions.

Speaker 1 that there's nothing nothing new or exciting really happening you're you're never in a situation where anything new or exciting could happen kind of thing and you feel like uh you know at a very sort of low level you're just like oh what's the point you just yeah i mean it's like i feel like it's also when you're in that situation where you think my bills are paid I have a place to live.

Speaker 3 My job is, I can get to my job fine. I like my job.
I like my colleagues. I love my partner, my kids, but there's something missing.
And I think it's a very common feeling that you get.

Speaker 3 I'd say probably around 30 was as I got to that age, that was around the time I started to think like, what is this all about? Because you've had education for all your life.

Speaker 3 You finally got out into the quote unquote real world and you are presented with these ideas that you've been working for this since you were like four years old.

Speaker 3 The people have been, we've been putting you into the machine to turn you into a good worker. You pop out of university or whatever, or whatever further education you've done.

Speaker 3 And suddenly you're in the real world and you realize it's actually a bit of a fucking grind. and it's pretty boring a lot of the time.

Speaker 3 And you feel lucky to just be alive and have a job and bills paid, but you think there must be more than this. I understand that completely.

Speaker 1 I think a lot of it is just modern life as well. We're very comfortable.

Speaker 1 And through being very comfortable, I think we're very complacent as well. And I think that the one thing that you could

Speaker 1 try to do that will A, keep your mind off it, or B, maybe give you a bit more sort of satisfaction or fulfillment is to, is to get involved in a hobby, and that could be anything.

Speaker 1 Like for me, I find because I like gaming,

Speaker 1 you know, I look forward to like something new coming out. Like right now, I'm looking forward to Arc Raiders coming out.

Speaker 1 Like, I know I'll probably only play it for a couple of weeks or whatever, but I just like, I like the idea that a new game is coming out, something I get my teeth into a bit.

Speaker 1 play it, you know, hook up with some friends, play it, play it on my own a bit or whatever, and then, but still do all the things that i have to do you know like keeping that balance of actually living an adult life and then um you know and then just winding down with like some gaming or whatever but there's there's other things you could do as well like you know like there's there's there's loads of like hobbies like uh uh you could like you could try doing like some woodwork you could try to build something you could try you know well he said he said he's a carpenter like that's clean up your hobby is that they're a carpenter too yeah right okay yeah i mean there's there's probably all sorts of uh of of different things that you could you could just try out You know maybe like try some photography or try like doing some art or something or you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like I think it's really easy to just sort of you know get home sit down put on your your TV and just go through all the the multitude of streaming services and try to find something to watch and everything looks boring and stuff.

Speaker 1 But like, yeah, I think you just got to get out and like

Speaker 5 I think okay, this is a go socialize or something.

Speaker 5 I don't

Speaker 5 think that you are

Speaker 5 okay, you have to step back a little bit and look at where you are in life.

Speaker 5 If you have got a comfortable job, a comfortable thing that you're comfortable with, if you like doing it, if you're enjoying it, like if it's not, if it's, if it's fulfilling and ticking boxes, you know, it sounds like you work for a charity, which is obviously a rewarding thing to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that must, that, that should keep you busy enough.

Speaker 5 There should be, and it's, look, everyone, I think this is part of who our chimp brain is, is unsatisfied with what they have. It's part of who we are and now you have DNA.

Speaker 3 You think chimps are unsatisfied?

Speaker 1 I think they're very. They always want more.

Speaker 5 They always want to like be hunting for more food and for more sex and for more everything, right? Everyone wants more.

Speaker 1 They think they deserve more.

Speaker 1 They want what other people want.

Speaker 3 And how come I see them sitting around picking fleas out of each other's backs all day?

Speaker 1 Lazy fuckers.

Speaker 5 The problem is, is that, look, from my point of view, I'm always, I'm not great at this. I'm always worried about something.

Speaker 5 I'm worried about the mistake I made or this thing that's coming up or I'm upset because I didn't take an opportunity that i should have done and i'm kicking myself or some other thing's gone wrong and i'm like thinking how am i going to fix that and then i'm you know i'm worried about this this element of my relationship i'm worried about you know this upcoming i'm i'm anxious and worried and fearful of all the time about all sorts of things and maybe that's a problem that i have but certainly i would love to be in a position where I feel like things are stable and um

Speaker 5 and and I think that I'm not saying that you should feel that way Absolutely not. I'm just saying that everyone has something going on at all times.
There's always going to be dissatisfaction.

Speaker 5 And you have to do things like meditation. And

Speaker 5 like Sip said, I get a hobby to straighten out your

Speaker 5 busy bee-filled mind sometimes because

Speaker 5 all of us feel this way.

Speaker 1 You're not alone. I used to like, I used to like

Speaker 1 early on, World of Warcraft.

Speaker 1 I used to to like raiding or the thought of raiding even you know like i used to like i'd i'd go to work and stuff and i get home and i'd do a couple of things i'd have dinner and i'd watch a bit of tv or whatever and then i would sit down and i would just play wow and like sometimes we'd do some raiding or some you know just grind out something or whatever like i don't know i i felt like before i had kids that was like i mean it was like kind of the same thing over and over every day, but like, I was, I was very content with, with that, you know, like I felt like I had like things that I liked to do that I could get stuck into.

Speaker 1 And then I felt like I had a bunch of things I had to do that I could, you know, I could see an end to. And then, you know, it was just like a nice, nice balance.
I think it's just a balancing thing.

Speaker 5 I think you got to have a really good balance that's helped me is having writing down a list of tasks and ticking them off and doing them, you know, making sure things are tidy, making sure I've got like supplies for the week or like cooked some, you know, cooked some simple things, you know, not

Speaker 1 procrastinating. This is all well and good.
Obvious jobs.

Speaker 3 There's only two things you need to do. Number one, get home from work and start smashing those cans of cider down as fast as you can.
And number two, furious masturbation at least six times.

Speaker 1 Like where the times are so intense, there's like sparks flying.

Speaker 5 The more aggressive, the better.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 This is

Speaker 1 New Jersey.

Speaker 3 Sorry, Nick from New York. My apologies, Nick.
I apologize.

Speaker 3 With the recent mailbag episode once again centering around unique eating habits, that was the only time we've ever done that, actually.

Speaker 3 I was inspired to reach out to the smartest group of specialists I know.

Speaker 1 That's us.

Speaker 3 What is the one food or dish that is most likely to be eaten the same way by everyone who eats it with as little variation as possible?

Speaker 3 I would have thought something like an apple, but clearly they are not exempt from strange consumption.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think so. I can't think of it.

Speaker 1 I was going to say probably a chocolate bar, but I know some people probably suck the chocolate off the bar first and then pick the fucking peanuts out one by one.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 3 I was going to say, I don't think there's really any particularly weird ways you could just eat a mug of soup.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Do you know what?

Speaker 1 My daughter sometimes has like these

Speaker 1 oat breakfast biscuits for breakfast.

Speaker 1 And what she'll do is like,

Speaker 1 she doesn't always eat all of them. So, you know, there'll be, there'll be a couple like left over on her plate.

Speaker 5 Even the most simple fucking

Speaker 5 oat biscuit. I know.

Speaker 1 so I go, okay, listen, I go into the living room and I see the plate, and I'm like, oh shit, nice.

Speaker 1 She's left a couple of like oat biscuits behind, but they're all fucking soggy because she's like sucked on them. She's just like sucked on individuals.

Speaker 1 She's little. I know she's little, but like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, it's, I think that's crazy to do that.

Speaker 3 Is that what you tell her? What are you fucking doing?

Speaker 1 This is crazy. Of course, I do.
Of course, I do.

Speaker 3 You suck at all these biscuits? It's insane.

Speaker 1 You don't suck on the biscuits. You don't suck on the biscuits.
That's true. No, they're always sucked.
There's like a couple of them. Some of them are fine.
You know, you can tell.

Speaker 1 They look dry. But then some of them just look soggy because you sucked on them.
And you just think, what are you doing sucking on the biscuits?

Speaker 5 What are you breeding? What are you breeding?

Speaker 1 I gotta chuck these out. No, I'm not fucking eating that.
What are you making?

Speaker 1 Biscuit suckers. What if you find a future?

Speaker 5 We gotta have.

Speaker 3 If you pop it in the airfire for about 30 seconds, is that gonna steam off all the spit? And it's gonna be fine.

Speaker 1 I would

Speaker 1 not even try. Like, I don't even want to try it.

Speaker 5 It's some student-level shit, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that really is. I'm just saying.
That's like, I'm so fucking hungry. I'll do anything.
Well,

Speaker 3 you know, look, I've forgotten what that email was about. What was it about? Oh, they're eating the, yeah, soup.
I'll be honest with you, a mugger soup.

Speaker 5 What can you do with that? Yeah, how can you fuck that up? I mean, people obviously probably

Speaker 1 have some.

Speaker 1 What kind of soup? Is it like just a pure

Speaker 3 cream of tomato soup? Mugg of bovril. Mugg of bovril soup.
Or a mugg of tomato soup.

Speaker 1 I think if there's anything in it, I think if there's anything in it, that's when it's going to be people are going to start.

Speaker 1 I pick out every individual piece of carrot and put it on a separate little sake plate next to it.

Speaker 1 Right. I don't know.
A glass of water. Drink it through your nose.
A glass of water. Did you seen that guy drink a pint of beer through his nose on the internet?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I did.

Speaker 1 He's not going to do that with soup, is he?

Speaker 3 I mean, that'd be.

Speaker 1 Well, what's the next step? It's beer today, maybe soup tomorrow. Maybe, maybe it could be like

Speaker 1 a good teacher. He's going to be a radio through

Speaker 1 soup tomorrow. Who's with me?

Speaker 1 I love that. Yeah.

Speaker 5 That should be like the motto on a school father in Latin or whatever.

Speaker 1 Yes. Beer today, maybe soup tomorrow.
If you were a lunch person, a lunchman, and not a lunch lady, you could maybe get away with that.

Speaker 1 He's a lunchman.

Speaker 3 My God, his father was a lunchman and his grandfather was a lunchman. He's a lunchman.

Speaker 1 He deals in lunches. Man,

Speaker 1 I kind of wish that

Speaker 1 some stuff like that would come back, you know?

Speaker 1 Like, it's like you're either a billionaire or you work in the finance industry and then everybody else is just a pleb. Like, where are all these noble professions now?

Speaker 1 They're all right with machines.

Speaker 1 Bring them back, though. Like, why can't we have like, why can't we once again be proud of somebody who is just, you know, doing like a job like a lunchman or a lunch lady or whatever?

Speaker 1 I know we're already proud of them, but, like, we should celebrate these people a lot more, I think.

Speaker 1 I agree. I think

Speaker 1 the noble lunchman. He's a lunchman.
He's a lunch man.

Speaker 3 I would describe him as a lunchman.

Speaker 5 That could be the motto of the lunchman.

Speaker 1 The lunchman. Beer today.
Lunch today, maybe soup tomorrow.

Speaker 3 The motto of the lunchman.

Speaker 1 We're proud of him. I love the thought of a lunchman.
A good lunchman.

Speaker 1 If you had to take a job now, okay, like let's say whatever we're doing now, streaming or YouTube, content creation, whatever, it completely overnight dries up. Amazing.

Speaker 1 Tomorrow,

Speaker 1 you need to find

Speaker 1 a lunchman.

Speaker 1 Listen, walk into the job agent.

Speaker 5 There are videos of in YouTube, of Indian workplaces where they have sort of some curry lunchman, and he goes around to delivers everyone their lunches.

Speaker 5 So all the officers are in the middle of the day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I used to work with an Indian lad when I was at HSBC, really nice guy.

Speaker 1 There was actually a whole group of them had been seconded to Jersey to work.

Speaker 1 I like that word, by the way.

Speaker 3 Seconded. Seconded.

Speaker 1 And they all came from Hyderabad. And

Speaker 1 I was talking to him one day, and he was saying in Hyderabad, where he lives, because he was only over temporarily, you know, secondment was just for a year or whatever.

Speaker 1 But where he lives in Hyderabad,

Speaker 1 he wasn't married. He was a younger guy.

Speaker 3 He lived in a house with eight other guys,

Speaker 1 eight other single guys, all around the same age. And they had a dinner man who who would come in every day

Speaker 1 and cook them a huge dinner.

Speaker 1 But like, he would, he would cook like these massive, massive meals. And then it was kind of almost like meal prep.
He would put them all into like Tupperware containers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because these guys all kept like odd hours and stuff.

Speaker 1 But it was really economical for them to hire this guy to prepare meals for them because it meant that they weren't just taking takeaways all the time or like, you know, eating each other's food or whatever.

Speaker 1 It was all very organized. This guy would come in, he would make these big feasts.
Everybody would have like their portion or whatever.

Speaker 1 There'd be more than enough if you wanted like seconds and stuff. And that was his job.
He was just like dinner man. He was dinner man.
He would come in and he would just get the dinner ready.

Speaker 1 Thank you for your service.

Speaker 5 You should have. I just said to him, you know,

Speaker 1 I thought that was really cool, actually. Serving the food.
It's such a good idea, you know, like having somebody to

Speaker 5 call back to early.

Speaker 1 Thank you for your dinner service. Yeah.

Speaker 5 So, so I

Speaker 5 really, I just, I don't know. I feel like everyone going out to buy a crappy sandwich from Setesco meal deal or like, you know, a number of price

Speaker 5 preta manche or a Gregg's.

Speaker 1 No, forget about that.

Speaker 5 Let's get a dinner man in, a lunch man.

Speaker 1 I've been wondering, ooh, oh name.

Speaker 1 Oh, ooh.

Speaker 1 It is past time.

Speaker 3 I wanted to contribute. This is from Daniel.
My thoughts on your recent discussion of warning signs and announcements.

Speaker 1 I think think it's often

Speaker 3 quite how many indeed warning signs, announcements, directions, prohibitions and safety advisories we're subjected to in modern life.

Speaker 3 In my opinion, the frequency with which we've been bombarded with these is simply too high, exclamation mark.

Speaker 1 Think about a train journey.

Speaker 3 I often get the train into and around London. There are so many announcements, it makes me want to rip my ears off.
Gosh, don't do that. Just between two stations, I counted five or six announcements.

Speaker 3 Doors closing, the automated announcement of all the stops, another announcement of all the stops by the guard, a C it say it sorted announcement, an anti-abuse message, and the guards mind the gap when we arrive.

Speaker 3 Multiply this by the 10 or so stops to get to my destination, and you see the pattern.

Speaker 1 I see the pattern. We've talked about this before, though.
And the problem is, is that there are a vast majority of people, I would say,

Speaker 1 have almost zero situational awareness. And

Speaker 1 if not for these things,

Speaker 1 bleeding out constantly and reminding them, it would be anarchy. Like,

Speaker 1 just take, just take anyone that you know that's like slightly older, for example. It's like a deer in the headlights.

Speaker 1 You take them to a big city, if they have, they're not used to being in a big city, they lose their minds. Like, they just cannot function.

Speaker 1 All their common sense or what little of it they had, it just evaporates immediately.

Speaker 1 And they are just like, like, they've turned into mush brains, and they have to have everything spelled out for them. And you can see that.

Speaker 5 I went to London the other day, and you know, I think you do have the conflux conflux of both the people who do that.

Speaker 1 Sorry,

Speaker 5 it's amazing. You have both the people who, or maybe confluence, I probably said the wrong word.

Speaker 5 The people who are there every day.

Speaker 5 They're like on a mission. They're going to work.
They're going home. They don't exist.

Speaker 1 If you're a seasoned Londoner who uses public transport and you know everything,

Speaker 1 all the ins and outs,

Speaker 1 it's like muscle memory. You do it all the time.
Of course, that's going to fuck you.

Speaker 5 There's a certain amount of them.

Speaker 5 But then there's also a couple of you know tourists a couple of people who don't go to london every day a couple of people who are traveling through with suitcases and they are like but you know blocking this you know they're like a a different animal in this swarm of sheep that's going around them and you can you can tell that it's you know that they are out of place and i think that there is like a lot of people who are stupid and and that's i think probably what i said before in the in the previous podcast these announcements you just have to do a guy asked me he was like oh can you you wake me up before my stop?

Speaker 5 You know, because I'm so tired. I might fall.

Speaker 3 Wake me up before you go, go. Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.
Yes, mate. Can do.

Speaker 5 But I was only going for like one second. What a little,

Speaker 5 mate.

Speaker 1 Well, what else?

Speaker 1 Who came up with don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo? Like, that must have been a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 That must have been such a compromise, eh? He must have been racking his brain, just thinking, like, wow, can I fucking rhyme this?

Speaker 1 And then somebody probably at dinner or something said, don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo. How about that? And he's like,

Speaker 3 I was thinking when he sees someone walking around with a yo-yo.

Speaker 1 I'll take it.

Speaker 3 Like in the movie, he'd be there looking out the window, really thinking. And some guy walks past with a yo-yo.
He's like, of course, yo-yo rhymes with Go-Go. And that was what he went with.

Speaker 3 I thought he should have said, don't leave me hanging on your mum's a ho-ho.

Speaker 1 I think would have been a better rhyme.

Speaker 5 I don't know if it would have caught on.

Speaker 1 Please don't go and call the popo.

Speaker 3 That would have been another lyric.

Speaker 1 Please don't go ahead and call the popo

Speaker 1 um yeah yeah

Speaker 1 so go go it could be yo-yo

Speaker 1 so far we got coco yo-yo don't end don't let our relationship go extinct like the dodo dodo that's way better thank you

Speaker 1 that's much better yeah

Speaker 3 all right let's let's move on this is uh this is a one of the corrective emails that i feel compelled to read out this is something i said that is is deserving of correction this is from javon I felt compelled to email in after listening to you guys talk about the Jackson children.

Speaker 3 I'm sure others will say it, but the child held over the balcony was Blanket, Paris's younger brother. So Paris wasn't held over the balcony.
That was Blanket.

Speaker 1 Oh, so.

Speaker 3 As a mixed race person, I have very little melanin a parent, and most people do assume I am white. But regardless of how I look, the truth is that I am mixed race.

Speaker 3 And I also consider myself more culturally black than white, as my family is mostly black.

Speaker 3 Also, I was somewhat offended by your invalidation of how Paris views her racial identity, as it is very hard as a white passing mixed-race person to be accepted by either group.

Speaker 3 My black family call me white boy, and my white family treat me as a foreigner.

Speaker 1 Gosh, that's terrible.

Speaker 3 Not sure if this email was even worth typing, but I just wanted to add my two sides.

Speaker 1 It's fair enough, but I mean, you can see where we're coming from, though.

Speaker 1 Being, we, you know, as we won't have any understanding of that because it's literally not something that's ever affected us, we've never had to think about it.

Speaker 1 Like, like, all of our parents parents are like neon white.

Speaker 1 There's no, you know, there's no ifs

Speaker 1 or buts about it.

Speaker 1 Okay, move on. So, my

Speaker 1 question was more than I, at no point do I genuinely believe that she is biologically Michael Jackson's child.

Speaker 3 That was more my point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know, man. It's like, it's, it is, it's, it is a weird area.
Like, it is kind of a weird area because it's like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just don't even know how to explain it.
I'm sorry if we offended you.

Speaker 3 Obviously, we meant no offense at all.

Speaker 1 We're not going out of our way to invalidate.

Speaker 1 And of course, we're not saying that nobody has the right to, you know, to identify culturally, especially if they have genetics within them that puts them into that culture directly or whatever. But

Speaker 1 from somebody on the outside looking in,

Speaker 1 you can kind of see how we would get it mixed up or where we'd be coming from sort of thing. I think.

Speaker 3 Like, I'm not saying she's not allowed.

Speaker 3 She's clearly this out. I'm just saying that in terms of genetics,

Speaker 3 it feels to me, yes, the possibility is there that she's just very fair-skinned, multiracial woman. Absolutely happy to accept that.

Speaker 3 I'm just saying that for me personally, Michael Jackson seems like the kind of guy who would just get a complete surrogate child

Speaker 3 and then we're meant to believe that she's related to Michael Jackson. And I don't, because I'm very conspiratorial when it comes to celebrities.
So that's it.

Speaker 3 I'm just saying I personally don't see her as mixed race, but yes, you're right.

Speaker 3 I shouldn't, shouldn't judge.

Speaker 3 It's her skin, not mine. So fair play.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 Next, science's answer. In Triforce number 331, I ask, this is me, why can't we put soup in bread bottles and carry that around all day? Answer me that, science.

Speaker 3 And of course, someone with a master's in biomolecular technology and a module on biography.

Speaker 3 The issue with anything like this is that the product packaging must be waterproof, airtight, and long-lasting. But biodegradable products tend to decompose quickly.

Speaker 3 So anything with this packaging would have a pitiful shelf life.

Speaker 3 Your bread bottle would be stale and hard before it even reached Sainsbury's, assuming it hadn't soaked and promptly leaked Minestrone sauce soup everywhere.

Speaker 3 Soup says edible water bottle idea, it did exist. A brand called Uho made them from seaweed.
They decomposed within four to six weeks and had a claimed shelf life of a few days. Right.

Speaker 3 As far as I see it, a regular biodegradable packaging will never work.

Speaker 3 However, if you had a large event, you could feasibly keep many of these products fresh in an imperishable container, which is only opened on the day. This cuts down on the fall waste.

Speaker 3 Get your dinner man, do lunch man in there and also stops the festival litter issues.

Speaker 3 So if you can imagine at the festival, you've got all these biodegradable bottles that will only last a couple of days, but it doesn't matter because you don't release them to the perishable status.

Speaker 3 You keep them sealed up until you need them, open them up. You're going to sell all those water bottles that day.
You don't have to put plastic all over these fields.

Speaker 5 I think that's it does make sense that the shelf life is a thing because if you're trying to make something combustible, a compostable

Speaker 1 meat at home

Speaker 1 and just crush up some fruit and into a vial and then take that to the festival. You know,

Speaker 1 you can just nibble on some cured meats and drink your crushed up

Speaker 1 in your vial that you then take that. Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 5 Bring it a packed lunch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's just a packed lunch. Otherwise,

Speaker 1 cure your own meats.

Speaker 3 Hey, we don't want to put the lunchmen out of work. No.
Bringing your own lunch is going to put them out of business.

Speaker 1 A dinner man, yes.

Speaker 3 I was a dinner man until this man came up with this idea of bringing one's own food with them. Whichever devil invented the lunch box.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm just into the idea of a lunchman.

Speaker 1 I just

Speaker 1 know what I love the idea of like a harvest festival you know like bring i'd like get bring a harvest festival back but like a real old-fashioned one you know where you go down and and

Speaker 1 people are like baking goods and stuff but it's everything's free you know you can just turn up and like somebody's cooking up like a big jamboree meal for everybody uh and there's like you know you can have a selection of like uh you know some because like if you've harvested loads and loads of stuff and you've sold most of your harvest off, just keep a little back for the harvest festival.

Speaker 1 And then everybody can go down there and just have a good time and like i wish there was just more stuff that was free you know like it's not unreasonable

Speaker 1 you can join

Speaker 1 why isn't there more stuff that's just kind of free you know like

Speaker 1 you can just you can just turn it to somebody can give you like uh like a hot chocolate or something and and maybe like a harvest festival for free

Speaker 1 it's not crazy i'll tell you the way you can it is crazy i'll tell you

Speaker 3 make that hot chocolate and prepare it and get the chocolate chocolate and all of it you're just like just give it to me for free it's a celebration for you

Speaker 1 not for them I've turned up and a bunch of other people turned up as well we want our free hot chocolate

Speaker 1 all that you've done is turn up it's not that unreasonable I think it is it is not

Speaker 1 if enough of us get together

Speaker 1 I think it's a shame that we don't have these

Speaker 1 you do have them but you need to be like you need to go to a church that would be the first place i would go for a harvest festival i don't want to be fucking indoctrinated into a church just to have a free hot chocolate in a harvest.

Speaker 1 I want to just be a normal person

Speaker 1 with my own beliefs

Speaker 1 and I want to hang up for a free harvest festival. Maybe hot chocolate on top of it.

Speaker 1 For fuck's sake.

Speaker 1 Why have we become like this? Just give me some

Speaker 1 time.

Speaker 1 This is the maddest type.

Speaker 1 Just have some free hot chocolate.

Speaker 1 This is the maddest, maddest shit I've heard in my life.

Speaker 1 That's so insane. What in the hell? But the people just giving away things.

Speaker 1 It's so

Speaker 1 funny. Man, come on.
I just want a free harvest festival. Oh,

Speaker 1 what about a free nautical themed buffet that you could go to, like on a boat, you know? Like, how many boats do you need?

Speaker 1 Let the people have a boat that they can go on and have a free nautical buffet on or a harvest festival that you don't have to pay for just for the community, you know? Man, that'd be so nice.

Speaker 1 PS, I'm not organizing it. Yeah, I was gonna say, what are you fucking getting? What's the best? Somebody else has to do all this.
Oh, man. Oh, man.

Speaker 3 All right, this is from Oliver. After you guys discussing, this was back in September, discussing how no one talks about Lembit Opic.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 Google searches. And for good reason as well.

Speaker 1 Fuck that guy in particular.

Speaker 3 Google searches spiked after we discussed him, apparently.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 Right. Private eye magazine ran an article on what he's doing now.

Speaker 1 Coincidence? Do you think that maybe we spurred on like a mini

Speaker 1 revival of

Speaker 1 Olympic Mania?

Speaker 3 I'd love it if it was true.

Speaker 5 They said he should be able to do that. I should have had him in my

Speaker 5 celebrity team.

Speaker 1 You should.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine on the celebrity stock market if you had him just as like a sleeper investment and all of a sudden fucking the click started spiking? Because

Speaker 5 he'd like he'd got money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've got a podcast. Holy shit, the insider trading could be enormous.
That's true.

Speaker 3 So apparently he is the elected chair of the parliament of Asgardia, a self-declared space nation with ambitions to conquer outer space, bankrolled by Russian billionaire Igor Ashabailey.

Speaker 3 They also stated that like many other middle-aged men thinking of buying a sports car, he was turning up as a guest speaker at UKIP events.

Speaker 3 so who will take him now step forward reforms reform uk's new spokesman for north and northwest norfolk lembert opic so

Speaker 1 for sake so basically just a mega grifter who is always looking for the next fucking grift anybody who gets involved with fucking billionaire space fans

Speaker 1 real life nigel um real life alan partridge yes exactly that's what they're all like alan partridge the new series is is actually so funny too

Speaker 1 Excellent.

Speaker 1 He is so good at making fun of

Speaker 1 these people

Speaker 1 because they are so absurd. They're so fucking ridiculous.
Lembik Opik is just another one in line.

Speaker 1 And of course, he gets involved with reform. He would have to.
Of course, he fucking does.

Speaker 3 He was crazy. He was back in the day.
I guess.

Speaker 1 He's whatever. He's whatever.
Whoever pays the most money.

Speaker 1 he he's he's whatever anybody wants wants him to be he's just he's he's there he's ready with his hand out to take it he should put on a free fucking harvest festival well i'll tell you what he's he's my hero so is he yeah he got to have sex with the cheeky girl i had only one of them i think no i don't think they were cheeky

Speaker 1 mate they're literally called the cheeky girls what do you think Yeah, but I think one of them gets it has a day off while the other one's being cheeky.

Speaker 3 No, what I'm saying is they switch a rude.

Speaker 1 There's no no way they switch 100%. Not for that fucking.

Speaker 1 He looks like a fucking gray slab of rock, that guy. There's no way they did a switcheroo for him.
They love it.

Speaker 1 If they did, there's no justice in this world.

Speaker 3 That's why he's my hero.

Speaker 3 This one's the Lembert. We dedicate.
My big up this week is Lembert Opic

Speaker 1 for Shaggy.

Speaker 1 At least one video. I'm going to show you this big up.
There's got to be

Speaker 1 a veto for the big ups? Yeah, I vetoed it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because the big up this week is definitely the idea of a free harvest festival which is complimentary hot chocolate i won't have any any words said against it either you know what we could do this uh next year we could do in queen square in bristol the yard free harvest festival

Speaker 3 yeah harvest festival and we get it we get all local produce from around the uh harvest festival for the all around farmlands get some cider and everything free hot chocolate you can manage these contacts through jingle jams you can man the hot chocolate stand oh i want to do it

Speaker 1 i would do that happily I would do that happily. Oh, that's such a good idea.

Speaker 5 I would love to.

Speaker 1 He will.

Speaker 1 Great. It's going to happen.
I'm going to make it happen.

Speaker 3 I mean, I will say, there is quite a homeless problem in Bristol. So I think the number one attendee will be homeless people.

Speaker 1 Well, that's fine.

Speaker 3 Right, but what I'm saying is we should have stuff that's like for them. So.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hot chocolate and a free harvest festival. What could they want?

Speaker 1 I was thinking. Safe needles.

Speaker 3 I'm just kidding. I mean, I think it would be really good.
I think it would be really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 Here is is a P emails in. A fellow P.
I love the podcast. You probably shared some already, but I would really like to hear the cringiest stories you guys have from your teenage years.

Speaker 3 Here are some of mine. I once absentmindedly gave peanuts to a homeless man who was clearly asking for coins, only realizing too late what I'd done.

Speaker 3 The look on his face still haunts me as I cringe while trying to fall asleep.

Speaker 3 I once proudly told a policeman that I was not available and I actually do have a girlfriend. As it misunderstood his, you are free to go as are you free/slash available.

Speaker 3 To my defense, with the correct intonation in Croatian, you can interpret the first one as a question. And I was at the time very proud to have a girlfriend and probably very eager to share this news.

Speaker 3 And the third one, one of the earliest and for me worst cringe moments was when I gave a girl I really fancied a high five as I walked her home after a nice evening together, only realizing a few years later from another friend that it was in fact a date.

Speaker 3 And I left her a bit confused as to why I suddenly just left.

Speaker 1 I've had a cringe moment

Speaker 1 in a very similar situation to that. I was on what I didn't realize was a date at the time.

Speaker 1 And as such, I did not treat it at all like a date.

Speaker 1 And when I left, I kind of realized after, oh, shit,

Speaker 1 that could have been something different to what it was.

Speaker 1 But alas, it was never to be.

Speaker 1 I've had like maybe one of those. And then

Speaker 3 nothing tremendously awkward, just a couple of like waving to somebody at the mall thinking that they'd seen me but they hadn't um and you know you you just end up having to like try to recover from it you know like you're you're you're waving and and the person that you thought was looking directly at you hasn't seen you and continues to walk and then you got to like pretend that you were just like stretching or like scratch your head oh it's bad yeah you know i i remember one time this was new year's in bournemouth i was absolutely blasted i was walking home and as i'm walking i think these two women are coming towards me and i thought i knew them and I hadn't seen them in ages and I went hello and held my arms out really wide like hey how's it going and they just carried their carried on their conversation and walked straight past me didn't even acknowledge me and as they passed me I realized I didn't didn't know either of them and I thought wow they handled that really well they didn't look at me they didn't stop they didn't they're not even a beat but I still think quite often they must have thought this drunk asshole

Speaker 3 I really thought they were some good friends of mine I hadn't seen for years and I was like horrible I was back in Bournemouth for the first time in ages man I thought it was them

Speaker 1 Recently, I saw somebody that,

Speaker 1 and I was sure it was this person that I recognized. And they were walking with their daughter.

Speaker 1 And this also made me sure it was her because I knew she had a daughter, but I don't, I, I wasn't like familiar with the daughter, but I knew she had a daughter around that age and it looked exactly like her.

Speaker 1 And I was driving into a car park. This happened like a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 1 And I, and I like leant out of my window to do like an awkward like stare, whatever, because I know, like i know her enough to like you know where it would just be like it'd be kind of funny sort of thing and then she turned around and it wasn't her and i was like oh sorry i thought you're somebody else like i was fully fucking leaning out of the window and everything like it was uh it was really embarrassing actually that is that is bad yeah it happens yeah i'm always amazed at lewis lewis never considers him and his gym trainer to be a cringy embarrassing uh memory

Speaker 1 it doesn't bother you doesn't bother you i think he's got his fault that he just locks all this stuff away in, you know? I love that.

Speaker 5 I think he just in my head.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he just he just he's

Speaker 1 onwards and upwards kind of guy, you know? I don't think he gets stuck on on the details, you know? It's just it's locked away.

Speaker 1 Maybe one day it'll it'll eat away at him and he'll be like, I've got to get back in touch with my personal trainer. I've got to make some amends.

Speaker 5 It's too small fry. Do you know what I mean? I've got bigger fish to fry.

Speaker 5 I've got bigger fears, bigger worries,

Speaker 5 bigger things to deal with.

Speaker 1 Bigger squirrels to shoot.

Speaker 5 There's tons of people I'm dealing with on a daily basis who are absolute cunts, who want to

Speaker 5 demand that I have to have a license for this or that I have to, you know, fucking,

Speaker 5 you know, some

Speaker 5 they pull out of jingle jam at the last minute and stuff like this. You know, there's tons of people I'm dealing with.

Speaker 3 That reminds me of Carl Maker this year.

Speaker 5 That are very, you know, it's, you know,

Speaker 5 it's it's frustrating.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding, I will be there. Yeah, I get it.

Speaker 1 When are you going? When am I going?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Second week.

Speaker 1 Second week, okay. Yeah.
Let me know when you're going and I'll come out at around the same time.

Speaker 1 Second week. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'll commit it to my memory banks right now.

Speaker 3 Like the second week of December. Right.

Speaker 3 I would come down.

Speaker 3 They actually, Dav told me, hey, Pirian, really excited to see you on Saturday the 6th for the poker stream. And I said, I'm not coming down on the Saturday the 6th.
I go into a gig with my eldest.

Speaker 3 We're going to go see everything, everything, Brixton Academy. They're playing our favorite album.
It's going to be lit. And he was like, oh, well, I have to move the whole poker then.

Speaker 3 And I was like, please do, because that's my favorite thing.

Speaker 3 So I'm driving down on the Sunday and just going, I'm literally arriving, parking, putting my stuff in my Airbnb and going straight to the office to do the poker.

Speaker 3 He was like, are you happy to do that? I was like, yeah, of course I'm fucking happy to do it. I'd spend my whole year looking forward to the poker stream.
So that's it.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't miss it for the world. So that day is when I'll be down from that week.

Speaker 1 Let's finish with this one.

Speaker 3 This is from Brett. Brett.

Speaker 3 Here's a possible interesting discussion. Who would be the hosts of the anti-Triforce podcast? If we are matter, they are anti-matter.
They are like our opposites.

Speaker 1 If we have a mess, we're destroying. Who absolutely hates our guts?

Speaker 3 A podcast hosted by our respective Warios and Waluigis. Very, very nice, Brett.

Speaker 1 Here are my opinions. I think the counter to our podcast would be something very intellectually stimulating.

Speaker 3 And correct.

Speaker 1 And very correct as well.

Speaker 3 Right, so these would be the hosts. The anti-Lewis would be Kyle Walker,

Speaker 1 which I think is

Speaker 3 the anti-Sips, a bit harder, but Adele. They've gone for Adele.

Speaker 3 And the anti-Birion is apparently Greg Wallace.

Speaker 1 Greg Wallace, or that guy.

Speaker 1 The guy that we were talking about the other week there, that

Speaker 1 Andy Circus or whatever his name is.

Speaker 3 Andy Circus. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Andy. Was it Andy Circus?

Speaker 3 Smelly Andy Circus, as he is known in the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that could be your.

Speaker 3 Smelly Andy Circus.

Speaker 1 That could be your anti-flax.

Speaker 5 I don't know. Like, I feel like we've got to have our evil doppelgangers, though.
Like, who is a legacy YouTuber who's like, like, evil?

Speaker 5 You know, like, who's been around as long as me, but is terrible and somehow has made it this far and is terrible.

Speaker 1 Tabuscus.

Speaker 1 Okay. Tabuscus.

Speaker 5 And then

Speaker 5 obviously you need your versions as well.

Speaker 1 So you're a streamer, right?

Speaker 5 There's tons of awful streamers who are on kick or whatever now. Yeah.
Who electrocute their dogs and stuff.

Speaker 3 The fucking dog electrocution thing. This is so fucking

Speaker 3 it's just like, first of all, why have a dog if it's really that annoying? That apparently, I mean, it's just, it's just bizarre. And I, I mean, I don't know what's real.
I don't know what's not.

Speaker 5 I don't care, but I just don't want people to, why would you have a shock collar for your dog anyway I can't imagine I tell you what it is and this is what I think it is it's he is a incredibly wealthy guy uh he says he his circles are those kind of cunts who have no respect for people let alone animals

Speaker 5 I think that he just probably got some advice from some local asshole who said, oh, this is fine. This is how I train my dog.
Look how good my dog is.

Speaker 1 And that's, and then he realized oh maybe this isn't actually a normal thing that people in the rest of the world do um shit i wonder if they're calling the lie i wonder if they make those for um like say shock try to lie and yeah shock colors but also like maybe on a smaller scales that basically basically i want to put one on my dick um and shock i want to shock my cock

Speaker 1 do you want to do you want to do you want to shock if you want to shock someone else

Speaker 1 you can do that hi do you do shock colors really small? Do you do tiny shock colors for little pee-pees? We sure do, sir. Step right on here.

Speaker 3 All right. Do we want one more? Are we going to call it? It's up to you guys.
I don't care.

Speaker 1 No, let's go. I got to go.
You got to go? It's late. It's late.

Speaker 1 It's fucking late. Thank you for coming in.

Speaker 5 This is a great mailbag.

Speaker 1 I had a lovely time.

Speaker 3 Thank you for your emails. Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 And don't worry.

Speaker 1 Keep them coming. Keep those cracking emails flowing through.
Put a shock colour.

Speaker 1 Apologies for having the audacity to suggest a free harvest bounty.

Speaker 1 Apologies for having opinions.

Speaker 1 If that offended you, I'm really sorry, okay? It was just an idea.

Speaker 3 He's so sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's a bad idea.

Speaker 5 I think

Speaker 5 you might just need to join a cult for it to happen.

Speaker 1 Right, okay. I don't want to join a cult for that to happen.
No, I don't.

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 no free stuff for you then, mate.

Speaker 3 Yeah, tough shit, mate.

Speaker 1 Mate, come on, mate. Mate, mate.

Speaker 1 See you next time. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Bye.